Tire Fire Alert: Week 13

November 22, 2013

The finish line is in sight, folks. Each week the stakes get higher as the BCS picture and conference races come into clear view. Fortunately, for our purposes, that also means lots of low/no-stakes matches on the other end of the spectrum. This week, we have a positively putrid match at the bottom of the Big 12, as well as a slew of “body bag” games with the big boys that ain’t nobody got time for. Which is why we’re here: to inform. Here is the the blazing tire heap for week 13.

Tire Fire Alert: Week Four

September 20, 2013

Over the past few seasons, The Solid Verbal has spoken, retroactively, about the most egregious weekly performances in the world of college football.  These lowlights, referenced lovingly as “tire fires”, have become a regular part of the podcast, as well as the sport’s lexicon.  In late 2011, EA Sports felt compelled to add a “Tire Fire Offense” badge to its NCAA 12 video game, offering a small pat on the back to gamers with poor offensive aptitude.  In real college football, though, tire fires should never be considered notable or noble achievements.  Fans around the country, from Iowa to… Iowa, . . .

Click Chorus: Nov. 18, 2010

November 18, 2010

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Idaho governor Butch Otter, who, and it wouldn’t surprise you given the antics of the two most notable football teams in his state, ascended to his current position by simply targeting his opponents and then leading with his helmet. Politics as usual. ***** Ty wrote his “Thursday Proverbs” column. Read it here and read it NOW. Or, depending on the speed of your Internet connection, a few seconds from now. • Fox Sports acquired the rights to the first six Big Ten title games. It sounds like win-win — the game and league . . .

Click Chorus: Oct. 5, 2010

October 5, 2010

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Tina Fey, who played Sarah Palin, who graduated (after her half-dozen school tour) from Idaho, who has their own painted Horizon plane, on which Palin will never ever fly. Hockey moms fly PRIVATE, yo. ***** • Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio was released from the hospital today after his heart attack and subsequent blood clot. Without any medical knowledge, I’ll just go ahead and assume he was implanted with an ultra-powerful gorilla heart and the Spartans will thereby crush Michigan in Ann Arbor. And yes, I know none of that made any sense. . . .