Click Chorus: May 10, 2011

May 10, 2011

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the newly single Arnold Schwarzenegger, a University of Wisconsin-Superior correspondence graduate and lover of all things derriere. ***** • After receiving an extension, Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald will be continuing his reign of efficient spread passing terror through at least 2020. TERROR. • Georgia RB Washaun Ealey will soon be (other team) RB after being granted his unconditional release from Georgia. If he becomes dominant wherever he goes, I’m calling dibs now on a nickname of “The Moving Violation.” • Missouri QB Tyler Gabbert (younger brother of Sunshine Gabbert) announced his intention to . . .

Click Chorus: Apr. 22, 2011

April 22, 2011

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCSB graduate Dan Harmon, creator of Community, which made me laugh more than anything else did last night. It’s gotten unbearably easy to make it into this spot. Oh well. ***** • Toomer’s Corner poisoner Harvey Updyke was attacked a couple of days ago after a hearing, so naturally he called into the Paul Finebaum show yesterday. It was all very much absurd and amazing. SB Nation’s Holly Anderson summarizes. • Alabama coach Nick Saban recruits thoroughly. ESPN’s Jamie Newberg foolishly thinks he can enter the Saban recruiting world and not come back . . .

Click Chorus: Apr. 8, 2011

April 8, 2011

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Reese Witherspoon, one time Stanford student. Perhaps she was bummed that we had Jeff Tedford on and had a glorious time talking Cal football. It’s fine, Reese, we know where your heart really is. ***** • Michigan State OT Arthur Ray is again practicing after the 2007 removal of a cancerous tumor from his leg. We wish him many healthy pancakes. • CBS’s Bryan Fischer visits Fort Worth to break down TCU’s revamped roster. I really did think the use of “revamped” would sound better than it did. Speaking of which, take a . . .

Click Chorus: Apr. 7, 2011

April 7, 2011

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former State University of New York Maritime College student Geraldo Rivera. I don’t know how a place can be a university and a college, but it does make sense that crazy ol’ Geraldo went there. ***** • Due to state budgetary restrictions, Nevada is close to losing Division I status. It’s wrong to blame the Boise State kicker right? Right? • South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia is now officially suspended indefinitely for misbehaving at a “SEC-mandated event.” The rumor is he showed up drunk. Hm, that’ll do it. • ESPN’s David Ubben reviews . . .

Click Chorus: Mar. 4, 2011

March 4, 2011

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Yale dropout Claire Danes. You know what they didn’t invent at Yale? The Facebook. And yes, I just saw The Social Network again, why? ***** • Yahoo!!!!!! and ESPN are reporting that Oregon paid recruiting services, reported it in their financial statements, but are not being investigated by the NCAA for doing so, at least not as of now. SI’s Andy Staples actually has firsthand experience with these camps and services and weighs in. I’m warning you now, though, your favorite older columnists will or have already turned into Helen Lovejoy over the . . .

Click Chorus: Feb. 16, 2011

February 16, 2011

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by SI Swimsuit model, Mrs. Dan Rubenstein. Or Kate Upton. I um, er, uh, I just, I. Oh bother. Let’s just assume she’s interested in college football, ok? ***** • UCLA hired a defensive coordinator. It’s former USF and Cincinnati DC Joe Tresey, who just happened to be coaching defensive backs for the UFL’s Omaha Nighthawks. Can somebody say “coaching pipeline?” • EDSBS has a list of the 35 coaches Maryland REALLY wanted ahead of Randy Edsall. WARNING: Ruffin McNeill‘s Ass-Belly Sweat is a mental image that won’t soon leave you. • USF coach . . .

Click Chorus: Feb. 14, 2011

February 14, 2011

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by South Carolina native Vanna White. I can’t imagine she’s happy after Jadeveon Clowney chose the Gamecocks over her own Atlanta Institute of Fashion. Also, White is only the sixth Chorus sponsor to have both “lesbian affair” and knitting” in the same Wikipedia “Personal Life” section. ***** • Prized DE recruit Jadeveon Clowney announced that he will be attending South Carolina (over Alabama or Clemson) this fall. And 5-7 other yet-to-be-determined recruits will be told they’ll be leaving on their own accord soon. Exciting times! Oh, and there are eligibility questions. Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday . . .