Ty and Dan scour an area twice the size of Texas in search for some lost-at-sea offenses, figure out if the distance between teams in big upcoming matchups (Florida vs. Georgia, Ohio State vs. Penn State, etc) are gulfs, bays, or lagoons, and then figure out how much towing work is needed for tugboats to drag some very specific teams to bowl eligibility. And there’s a phallic salamander? A wrestler? Or something?

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