Episode Description

In the spirit of March Madness, Ty and Dan bracket up their 32 most moderately annoying things about college football and talk through which items deserve to move on. From randomly grainy broadcasts to curious two-point conversion attempts and indecisive rules analysts, this look at the minor grievances around college football will have you on the edge of your seat.

Don’t forget to send in your own suggestions as we build out the Verballer side of the bracket and crown the ultimate champion!

[SOLID VERBAL INTRO] WELCOME TO THE SOLID VERBAL.

THE SOLID VERBAL.

COME AFTER ME!

I’M A MAN!

I’M 40!

I’VE HEARD SO MANY PLAYERS SAY, “WELL, I WANT TO BE HAPPY.”

YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR A DAY?

EAT A STEAK.

IT’S THAT WOO WOO!

AND NOW, DAN AND TY.

[APPLAUSE] WELCOME BACK TO THE SOLID VERBAL, BOYS AND GIRLS!

MY NAME IS TY HILDENBRANDT.

JOINING ME WAY THE HELL OVER THERE ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE GOOD OLD US OF A.

THE MAN, STILL WITH THE PLAN, DAN RUBENSTEIN.

SIR, WELCOME BACK.

WELCOME BACK TO OUR HUMBLE BEGINNINGS!

YOU’RE RECORDING FROM YOUR PARENTS’ HOUSE.

I AM NOT RECORDING IN MY OLD BEDROOM.

ONE HALF OF US, IN THIS SENSE, IS TRUE TO HIS ROOTS, SIR.

HOW GOES IT?

I FEEL AS IF I’M REPORTING FROM SOME SORT OF FAR-FLUNG PLACE THAT I HAVE TO, LIKE, RIG UP SOME SORT OF CONVOLUTED SETUP SO I CAN BE HEARD BY SOMEBODY 40,000 MILES– CAN YOU BE 40,000 MILES AWAY?

I DON’T KNOW.

BUT I HAVE STACKED YEARBOOKS FROM THE EARLY 2000S.

I HAVE AVIATION HANDBOOKS BECAUSE I’M IN MY BROTHER’S ROOM AND HE’S A COMMERCIAL PILOT.

SO I’M STACKING THINGS, I’M FILMING THINGS, I’M HOLDING THINGS.

TY, IT’S ALL IN THE NAME OF MAKING SURE THAT I CAN LISTEN TO YOU AND YOUR ENTERTAINING WHIMSY.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO, FELLOW VERBALLER, TO SUPPORT WHAT DAN AND I ARE DOING THIS OFFSEASON, TO SUPPORT WHAT WE WILL CONTINUE TO DO AS THE SEASON GETS A LITTLE BIT CLOSER, HIT THE FOLLOW BUTTON.

WHEREVER IT IS YOU’RE LISTENING TO THIS EPISODE, HIT THE FOLLOW BUTTON SO THAT YOU DON’T MISS ANY OF OUR EPISODES.

IT HELPS MORE THAN WE COULD EVER PUT INTO WORDS.

BEYOND THAT, IF YOU WANT TO DO A LITTLE BIT MORE TO SUPPORT WHAT DAN AND I DO, GO TO VERBALLERS.COM.

V-E-R-B-A-L-L-E-R-S DOT COM.

YOU GET THESE EPISODES A LITTLE BIT EARLY, WITHOUT THE ADS, YOU ALSO GET ACCESS TO BONUS FEATURES LIKE OUR DISCORD SERVER, SOME OF THE GAMES THAT WE’LL RUN IN THE OFFSEASON, AND MUCH, MUCH MORE, DAN.

AND IF YOU’RE, BY THE WAY, IF YOU’RE A TRULY DEDICATED LISTENER, VERBALLER, SUPPORTED, FIND TY’S CASHAPP, OR JUST SEND HIM A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR LIKE A DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE.

HAVE I TOLD YOU MY, I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU MY CASHAPP STORY?

I’LL TELL YOU THAT ONE WHEN WE GO OFF AIR.

AT THE END OF THE SHOW, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I’LL TELL YOU THAT ONE LATER.

LISTEN, TODAY’S EPISODE IS A BIT THEMATIC.

[MUSIC] DAN, WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS HERE EPISODE?

UM, I DON’T KNOW, TRULY.

UM, THE PURPOSE OF TODAY’S EPISODE IS WE WANT TO BE ON THE RECORD AND WE WANT TO USE THE OFFSEASON AS A MEANS OF CONNECTING WITH YOU, THE LISTENER, AND THE OBVIOUS WAY TO CONNECT IS WE ALL LOVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

HERE ARE THE THINGS WE LOVE ABOUT COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

HERE ARE THE SMALL ELEMENTS OF THE SPORT THAT WE LOVE.

BUT WE’VE DONE THAT SHOW, TY.

YEAH.

WE’VE DONE THE SHOW WITH LIKE THE MYSTERIOUS SQUIRT THROUGH, WHERE A TINY RUNNING BACK RUNS, YOU KNOW, SLAMS INTO THE B-GAP OR WHATEVER, AND IT SEEMS LIKE THE PLAY IS GOING TO BE SHORTLY WHISTLED DEAD, AND THEN HE MANAGES TO SQUEEZE THROUGH LINEBACKERS AND DEFENSIVE TACKLES AND COME OUT OF THE ABYSS FOR A LARGE GAIN.

SQUIRT THROUGH.

THE MYSTERIOUS SQUIRT THROUGH, YES.

SO WE’VE GONE THROUGH THE SMALLER ELEMENTS OR THE MICRO MOMENTS OF THE SPORT THAT WE LOVE.

TODAY, I THINK WE’RE GOING TO TRY TO COME TOGETHER AND ESTABLISH A NICE BASELINE OF, WE’LL CALL IT MINOR ANNOYANCES, MINOR GRIEVANCES, BECAUSE WE LOVE THE SPORT, BUT THERE ARE SOME PLAYS, THERE ARE SOME CALLS FROM COACHES, THERE ARE SOME CALLS FROM BROADCASTERS, THERE ARE SOME ELEMENTS OF A COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME WHERE I JUST WANT IT TO BE A SHARED EXPERIENCE THAT WE ALL FEEL AS IF THESE THINGS COULD POTENTIALLY BE IMPROVED UPON.

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

I THINK THAT MAKES SENSE.

THIS IS OUR COLLEGE FOOTBALL MINOR GRIEVANCES BRACKET.

WE’VE GOT 32 ITEMS HERE THAT WE HAVE BRACKETED OFF.

SOLIDVERBAL AT GMAIL DOT COM IS WHERE YOU CAN SEND YOURS IN, OF COURSE.

WE’LL BE MONITORING ACROSS ALL OF OUR SOCIAL MEDIA CHANNELS IF ANYTHING COMES TO MIND.

IF YOU WANT TO GIVE US A SHOUT OUT, WE WILL PROMPT YOU AS SUCH BECAUSE WE WANT TO CONTINUE THIS TREND GOING.

OF COURSE, MARCH MADNESS IS WELL UNDERWAY AT THIS POINT.

HOPEFULLY, YOUR BRACKETS AREN’T TOO MUCH OF A DISASTER THE WAY OURS ALREADY ARE.

I HAVEN’T CHECKED ON MINE.

IT SEEMS BAD.

AND BY THE WAY, IF THIS GOES REALLY, REALLY WELL, WE’LL NOT ONLY GET LISTENERS’ INPUT FOR THE BROADER LISTENER MINOR GRIEVANCE ANNOYANCE BRACKET, BUT WE WILL RECORD A POTENTIALLY SECRETLY PUBLISHED RELATIONSHIP MINOR GRIEVANCE BRACKET.

THAT’S RIGHT.

WE’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS ONE, TOO.

I KIND OF WANT TO HAVE A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE ON THIS SINCE WE ARE BOTH IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN.

AND SO MAYBE WE’LL FIGURE OUT SOME SORT OF GUESS TO SORT OF EVEN THE CONVERSATION OUT A LITTLE BIT.

THAT’LL DEFINITELY BE BEHIND A PAYWALL.

THAT ONE GOES BEHIND THE PAYWALL.

THAT WILL NOT BE A PUBLIC FACING SHOW.

THAT WILL BE PASSWORD PROTECTED TO THE TEETH.

OKAY.

SO WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE IS, AS I SAID, 32 ITEMS.

WE PAIRED THESE OFF.

WE THOUGHT THESE UP OVER THE LAST COUPLE HOURS, LET’S SAY.

I FEEL WE’VE GOT A REALLY STRONG SLATE HERE.

YEAH.

WE’RE GOING TO TALK THROUGH THESE.

WE WILL EVENTUALLY ARRIVE AT A WINNER OF THE TY AND DAN REGIONS THAT WE’VE GOT IN FRONT OF US HERE.

AND THEN WE’LL HOPEFULLY COMBINE THOSE WITH WHAT THE VERBALLERS SEND IN A LITTLE BIT LATER ON IN THE WEEK.

OKAY.

HERE’S THE WAY THIS IS GOING TO WORK.

I WILL READ.

THERE’S NO SEEDING.

WE DIDN’T DO THE SEEDING, BUT WE DID PAIR THESE OFF IN AT LEAST SOMEWHAT OF A LOGICAL WAY.

YOU AND I WILL READ THESE THROUGH.

WE’LL TALK THEM OUT.

WE WILL PICK THE WINNER WHO ADVANCES.

I WILL KEEP TRACK OF IT ON MY END.

AND AS WE GO THROUGH THE EPISODE, WE’LL DETERMINE WHO OUR SIDE OF THE BRACKET IS GOING TO ADVANCE.

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

YEAH.

AND LOOK, HOW DO WE DEFINE MINOR ANNOYANCE AND MINOR GRIEVANCE?

WELL, WE DON’T REALLY HAVE A GOOD WAY OF DEFINING THAT.

THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FURIOUS IN A GAME ARE THINGS INVOLVING LOSING AND WINNING OR HORRIBLE CALLS.

RIGHT.

THE THINGS THAT ARE JUST HUGELY DRAMATIC.

I THINK THESE ARE MINOR THINGS THAT CAN LEAD TO MAJOR EVENTS, BUT TRULY WE TRY TO THINK OF THINGS THAT ARE NOT BACKBREAKING IN AND OF THEMSELVES, WHETHER IT’S THE WAY A GAME IS BROADCAST, WHETHER IT’S A SPECIFIC KIND OF PLAY CALL OR A SPECIFIC ACTION THAT A PLAYER HAS ON THE FIELD.

I DO HAVE A NUMBER ONE OVERALL SEED IN MY MIND.

YEAH.

AND I DON’T KNOW IF YOU DO IN LOOKING AT THIS LIST, BUT THE WAY I GUESS WE’LL DETERMINE IS WHICH I GUESS BRINGS OUT MORE EMOTION IN THIS.

YEAH.

IT’S NOT NECESSARILY THE MOST MINOR OR THE LEAST MINOR.

IT’S JUST LIKE WHICH MAKES OUR BLOOD WARM, NOT NECESSARILY CURDLE THE MOST.

THAT’S RIGHT.

WHAT IRKS YOU IS WHAT WE’RE GOING FOR HERE.

YES.

ALL RIGHT.

FIRST MATCHUP.

BY THE WAY, WHEN YOU GET TO YOUR NUMBER ONE OVERALL SEED, JUST SHOUT IT OUT.

AGAIN, WE DIDN’T SEED THESE OFF, BUT WE DID PAIR THEM IN SOME LOGICAL WAY.

THE FIRST MATCHUP HERE IS BETWEEN A POINTLESS DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY AND A PLAYER STAYING IN BOUNDS LATE, WHICH COSTS A TEAM A TON OF TIME AND PERHAPS THE GAME.

OKAY, MAYBE THESE ARE BOTH MAJOR.

I JUST FELT WHEN YOU SAID THAT, I HEARD THE HELICOPTER IN MY HEAD OF A FLASHBACK.

PLAYER STAYING IN BOUNDS WHEN GET OUT OF BOUNDS.

WE DON’T HAVE ANY TIMEOUTS.

WE NEED THE TIME OR A PLAYER WHO IS COMMIT SOME SORT OF PENALTY ON LIKE THIRD AND 17.

YOUR TEAM GETS A STOP, BUT HE ROUGHED THE PASSER WITH AND IT WASN’T EVEN LIKE IN THE MOTION OF TRYING TO SACK HIM.

IT WAS WAY, WAY AFTER TO TRY AND LIKE PROVE A POINT AND BE TOUGH.

YEAH, I WOULD THE ONE THAT I THINK MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL THE MOST IS CERTAINLY THE DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY, BUT THE TYPE OF PENALTY MATTERS IN THIS CONVERSATION, RIGHT?

OKAY, SO GIVE ME THE ONES THAT IN SOME SORT OF ORDER THAT REALLY GET TO YOU.

OFFSIDES IS THE WORST.

OFFSIDES IS THE WORST BECAUSE IF YOU ARE ROOTING FOR THE DEFENSE AND IF IT IS A THIRD AND FOR FOURTH AND SHORT SITUATION, YOU HAVE THIS FEELING IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH, LIKE JUST ONE MORE STOP.

ONE MORE STOP GETS US THE BALL, GIVES US A CHANCE TO SCORE TO GO DOWN THE FIELD.

WHAT HAVE YOU RIGHT OFFSIDES IS JUST SO MINOR AND IT JUST IT’S ALMOST AN AFTERTHOUGHT THAT IT’S AN AUTOMATIC FIRST DOWN.

THAT’S ALWAYS THE LAST THING THAT COMES INTO YOUR FIELD OF VIEW.

THE FACT THAT THAT IS WHAT IS EXTENDING THE DRIVE.

SO THAT TO ME, I REACT MORE TO POINTLESS DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY.

THE PLAYERS STAYING IN BOUNDS LATE THAT THAT IS DEFINITELY MORE OF A MINOR THING.

I DON’T THINK IT HAPPENS AS OFTEN.

BUT FOR ME, IF I’M LOOKING AT THESE, IT’S THE IT’S THE DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY THAT KILLS ME EVERY TIME.

I THINK THAT’S RIGHT.

I THE PENALTY, THE SPECIFIC PENALTY, THOUGH, TO ME IS ROUGHING THE PASSER WHEN SAY A DEFENSIVE TACKLE GETS CALLED FOR IT JUMPS UP TO TRY TO BLOCK THE PASS AND THEN COMES DOWN AND DOESN’T BLOCK THE PASS AND IT’S A TERRIBLE PASS, RIGHT?

LET’S SAY IT’S OVERTHROWN BY, YOU KNOW, SIX YARDS LIKE IT’S THERE’S NO CHANCE THAT A RECEIVER IS EVEN GOING TO CATCH IT AND THEN HE JUST SHOVES THE QUARTERBACK AS LIKE A MOVE OF AGGRESSION, A MOVE OF POWER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

YOU’RE LIKE COOL JOB, DUDE.

YOU JUST GAVE US 15 YARDS TO LOSE.

THAT’S GREAT.

AWESOME.

THAT TO ME, I MEAN, THE OFFSIDES IS ONE THING.

THE SORT OF LIKE A P.I.

THAT WAS FULLY UNNECESSARY BECAUSE IT’S OVERTHROWN.

YEAH, YOU’RE STEALING MY THUNDER.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A LITTLE BIT LATER ON IN THIS EPISODE.

OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH.

BUT I THINK AND I DON’T LOVE FAULTING PLAYERS FOR PENALTIES OF AGGRESSION, BUT THAT ALMOST DOESN’T FEEL LIKE AGGRESSION THAT FEELS LIKE A PENALTY OF SORT OF TAUNTING AND BEING EMPHATIC ABOUT A PLAY THAT DOESN’T ACTUALLY POTENTIALLY DO ANYTHING.

SO I THINK THAT I’D HAVE THAT MOVING TO THE NEXT ROUND AS WELL.

NEXT MATCHUP GOING FROM THE SHOTGUN ON FOURTH AND INCHES.

OKAY, VERSUS THROWING SHORT OF THE STICKS.

THIS IS TOUGH BECAUSE I I CAN FIND REASONS TO DEFEND BOTH OF THESE.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE AS MOVING ON GOING FROM THE SHOTGUN ON FOURTH AND INCHES TO ME?

IT SEEMS LIKE YOU’RE MAKING IT HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE.

NO.

DEPENDS WHO YOUR TEAM IS.

DEPENDS WHAT KINDS OF PLAYS YOU CALL BECAUSE GOING FROM THE SHOTGUN DOES GIVE YOU OPTIONS BOTH IN TERMS OF RUNNING ANGLE AND A PASS OR MISDIRECTION.

IT IS OVERTHINKING THINGS.

IT CAN BE OVERTHINKING THINGS IF YOU HAVE A COMPETENT OFFENSIVE LINE.

SO I UNDERSTAND THE FRUSTRATION, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A GOOD INTERIOR LINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR BACKS ARE PRETTY GOOD, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE IN LIKE A PRETTY GOOD H-BACK OR YOU LINE UP A TIGHT END IN THE BACKFIELD OR YOU LINED UP A LINEBACKER, A DEFENSIVE END OR SOMETHING IN THE BACKFIELD FOR EXTRA MUSCLE AND HEFT.

I CAN I CAN ALMOST DEFEND THROWING SHORT OF THE STICKS ALMOST BECAUSE ON THIRD DOWN.

I’M JUST SAYING IN GENERAL.

YEAH, SHORT OF THE STICKS, RIGHT?

YOU’RE TRYING TO LET’S SAY THIRD AND FIVE OR WHATEVER, RIGHT?

AND YOU’RE TRYING TO GET THE FIRST DOWN AND CONTINUE THE DRIVE.

I CAN ALMOST JUSTIFY IT BECAUSE IF EVERYBODY ELSE IS COVERED AND THE ONLY GUY WHO’S OPEN IS SHORT OF THE STICKS, YOU’RE BETTER OFF THROWING TO HIM HOPING THAT HE CAN MAKE A GUY MISS AND GET PAST THE MARKERS TO GET THAT FIRST DOWN.

I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE’S A REASON IT’S ON THIS LIST TO BEGIN WITH.

IT IS ANNOYING.

IT’S DAMN ANNOYING.

HOWEVER, I CAN AT LEAST UNDERSTAND WHERE THAT’S COMING FROM.

IT’S NOT, LET’S SAY, VOLUNTARILY MAKING THINGS HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE.

THAT MIGHT BE THE ONLY DUDE OPEN.

BUT WHEN YOU GO FOR THE SHOTGUN ON FOURTH AND INCHES, IT’S JUST LIKE YOU’RE ADDING FIVE MORE YARDS TO WHAT YOU NEED TO GAIN.

WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?

FORWARD MOMENTUM OPTIONS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE RUNNING LIKE ZONE READ TYPE STUFF.

I GET IT ON A CERTAIN LEVEL.

AND IF YOU’RE A TEAM THAT EXCLUSIVELY RUNS THE SHOTGUN AND MAYBE YOU’RE NOT CONFIDENT THAT YOUR QUARTERBACK CAN HANDLE A SNAP UNDER CENTER AND A HIGH LEVERAGE MOMENT.

I DON’T KNOW.

I THINK THERE ARE REASONS I’M LESS FORGIVING OF THAT.

MAYBE IT’S JUST BECAUSE I’VE BEEN AN OREGON FAN FOR SO LONG AND THEY’VE BEEN IN THE SHOTGUN FOR SO LONG.

MAYBE I’M FORGIVING.

YOU KNOW, IT’S THE CHIP KELLY MARROW IN MY BONES THAT IS INFORMING THE WAY I LOOK AT A RECEIVER OR A PLAY BEING CALLED SHORT OF THE STICKS IS SOMETIMES THE RECEIVER SHOULD RUN FIVE WHEN IT’S FOURTH AND FOUR AND DOESN’T.

THAT’S INFURIATING WHEN HE SQUATS AT THREE AND A HALF YARDS AND YOU CAN TELL THAT IT WAS LIKE A HITCH THAT THE WHOLE WAY IT WAS MEANT FOR HIM AND HE RUNS SHORT AND IT GETS IT GETS A TEAM A TURNOVER ON DOWNS.

I’M GOING TO GO WITH THAT ONE.

I’M GOING TO GO WITH SHORT OF THE STICKS.

SO I GUESS WE DISAGREE.

ALL RIGHT, I’LL GIVE I’LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE SINCE YOU GAVE ME THE FIRST ONE.

YEAH, THESE ARE THESE ARE BOTH OF A SIMILAR VEIN.

IT’S ABOUT GETTING TO THE MARKER.

LET’S LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS.

IF THE RECEIVER PURPOSELY RUN SHORT OF THE STICKS AND DOES IT HAVE THE AWARENESS?

YEAH, IT DOESN’T HAVE THE AWARENESS FOR WHERE THE MARKER IS AND FALLS DOWN SHORT.

I’LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, NEXT ONE THE FOURTH AND LONG QUARTERBACK SCRAMBLE.

YEAH, SO YOU’RE ROOTING FOR THE DEFENSE.

YOUR TEAM IS ON DEFENSE.

IT’S YOU KNOW, THIRD AND 17 OR A DESPERATION FOURTH AND 17 THE THIRD AND PELHAM MOMENT.

THAT’S RIGHT NAMED AFTER FORMER OREGON DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR DON PELLUM WHO WOULD GIVE UP THESE PLAYS THAT IT WOULDN’T HAVE A DEFENSE READY TO CONTAIN A QUARTERBACK.

AND SO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’VE WON THAT DRIVE.

YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’VE WON AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY GET OUT OF IT THE FOURTH AND LONG QUARTERBACK SCRAMBLE FOR FIRST DOWN VERSUS THE FOURTH DOWN GOAL LINE FADE.

YEAH, WHEN YOU HAVE ONE PLAY WHEN IT’S A CRUCIAL MOMENT AND YOU’RE RUNNING THAT FADE.

I THINK THE THING ABOUT THE FOURTH DOWN FADE ON THE GOAL LINE.

YEAH, IT’S USUALLY PREEMPTED BY AT LEAST ONE OTHER GOAL LINE FADE ATTEMPT.

TRUE EXACTLY RIGHT.

IT’S NEVER SAYING IT’S NEVER THAT THEY’RE JUST PULLING THAT ONE OUT OF THE BAG FOR THE FIRST TIME.

YOU KNOW, IT’S ALWAYS WE TRIED IT ON SECOND DOWN.

IT DIDN’T WORK.

WE DID NOT GO BACK TO IT ON FOURTH.

WELL, AND ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THE NUMBER OF TEAMS WHO HAVE A RECEIVER WHO IS BUILT TO WIN THOSE RIGHT EITHER HAS LIKE A BIG ASS TO BOX SOMEBODY OUT IN THE CORNER OR HAS, YOU KNOW, MONSTROUS MEATY HANDS TO WIN ALL THOSE 50 BALLS, 50/50 BALLS, OR IS LIKE JOE FAURIA.

WAS THAT THE NAME OF LIKE 6’8″ TIGHT END FOR UCLA RIGHT IS AN ACTUAL POWER FORWARD THAT IS PLAYING TIGHT END.

IT’S LIKE YOU HAVE WHATEVER THE MODERN VERSION OF LIKE ANTONIO GATES IS THAT IF YOU ARE JUST RUNNING YOUR NUMBER TWO OR THREE RECEIVER WHO IS PROBABLY NOT AN NFL TYPE WHO MOST TEAMS HAVE NON NFL NUMBER TWO OR NUMBER THREE RECEIVERS.

AND YOU’RE LIKE THIS IS THE BEST I CAN COME UP WITH IN THIS HUGE MOMENT WHERE YOU’RE JUST LIKE I’M GOING TO THROW IT IN AN AREA AND HOPE THIS GUY WINS.

THAT’S PRETTY INFURIATING.

THAT’S PRETTY AWFUL.

I THINK WE GOT TO GO FOURTH DOWN GOAL LINE FADE HERE.

I THINK SO TOO.

ALL RIGHT.

NEXT UP TRYING TO DRAW TEAM OFFSIDES.

THIS IS A VERY HIGH SEED FOR ME, BY THE WAY.

YEAH VERSUS THE INADVERTENT EARLY WHISTLE.

THIS IS A BLOCKBUSTER OF A MATCHUP.

IT IS.

THIS IS A SOLID 8-9 OR A 5-12.

HOW MANY TIMES HOW MANY TIMES IN YOUR STORIED CAREER AS A COLLEGE FOOTBALL FAN AS A COLLEGE FOOTBALL PODCASTER AS A NOTED INTERNET’S MEN.

HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU RECALL THE OLD TACTIC OF TRYING TO DRAW THE OPPONENT OFFSIDES ACTUALLY WORKING?

WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE TIME HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THAT WORK?

IT’S MAYBE 2%.

IT NEVER NEVER WORKS.

IT’S A IT’S A NON WINNING PROPOSITION AND MAYBE YOU’RE SORT OF SCOUTING FOR LIKE WHAT IS THIS TEAM GOING TO LOOK LIKE IN TERMS OF PERSONNEL?

WHAT IS THIS TEAM GOING TO LOOK LIKE IN TERMS OF STOPPING A FOURTH DOWN MIDFIELD?

THAT’S LIKE KIND OF A 50 WILL THEY OR WON’T THEY GO?

AND SO MAYBE YOU’RE LIKE, OKAY, THIS IS WHAT THAT DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR IS THINKING MAYBE FOR LATER ON WHEN WE’RE CALLING A PLAY.

SO IN THAT WAY, IT’S NOT LIKE A MOMENT WHERE YOU’RE POSITIVE IT’S GOING TO WORK, BUT YOU’RE SORT OF SCOUTING MID GAME.

IF THAT’S THE CASE, SURE.

IF IT’S NOT THE CASE, IT’S PRETTY INFURIATING AND JUST KIND OF LIKE WHAT WHO IS THIS FOR?

NOW, THE IDEA OF PICKING ON 19 YEAR OLDS TO SEE IF THEY’LL MAKE A MISTAKE.

IF IT DOES WORK, YOU’RE BRILLIANT.

BUT IT JUST DOESN’T HAVE IT NEVER WORKS.

THAT’S THE PROBLEM.

IT NEVER WORKS.

SO FOR AS FRUSTRATING AND AS PEEVED AS I TEND TO BE BY THE INADVERTENT EARLY WHISTLE.

TRYING TO DRAW A TEAM OFF SIDES IS A TACTIC THAT YOU WILL SEE ON ANY GIVEN SATURDAY A DOZEN TIMES, RIGHT?

NEVER ACTUALLY WORKS.

IT’S ALWAYS JUST TO GIVE A LITTLE BIT MORE ROOM FOR THE PUNTER.

THEY SHOULD JUST MAKE IT LIKE IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL ON AN INTENTIONAL WALK WHERE YOU CAN JUST POINT TO THE GUY AND SAY, GO TO FIRST.

I GOT TO THROW IT.

GO TO FIRST.

I WOULD SAY THE INADVERTENT WHISTLE IS ALMOST TWO MAJOR AGREEMENTS.

LIKE I THINK THE THE CALL TO TRY AND GET THEM OFF SIDES, THE HARD SNAP OR WHATEVER TO GET THEM OFF SIDES FITS THIS BRACKET BETTER.

BECAUSE IF YOU’RE A TEAM THAT RECOVERS A FUMBLE AND LOOK EVEN AFTER THE WHISTLE, THERE’S WHAT’S THE PHRASE LIKE A CLEAN AND CLEAR RECOVERY.

YEAH, THAT LIKE YOU CAN STILL, YOU KNOW, GAIN POSSESSION IF YOUR TEAM RECOVERS A FUMBLE, EVEN IF YOU KNOW THE WHISTLE IS CALLED AND PREMATURELY TY.

YEAH, BUT I DON’T THINK YOU CAN, YOU KNOW, IF A TEAM RECOVERS A FUMBLE AND RETURNS AT 83 YARDS FOR A TOUCHDOWN, IT’S SORT OF A SPOT CALL THAT IT’S BACK TO THAT THE SPOT OF RECOVERY.

SO IT CAN POTENTIALLY SWING A GAME PRETTY DRAMATICALLY.

I YEAH, I’M ALWAYS ANNOYED WHEN REFS ARE SO QUICK ON THE WHISTLE.

YEAH, WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE THERE’S A BANG BANG PLAY UNFOLDING, YOU’RE LIKE, HEY, SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN THAT I THINK THERE’S I THINK THERE’S MORE MINOR ABOUT THIS ONE.

SO I’LL GIVE I’LL GIVE YOU THE THE OFF SIDES ATTEMPT.

YEAH, THIS IS SORT OF OUR BAD DECISIONS SUBREGION HERE IN OUR GROUPING OF 32 ITEMS.

WHY DON’T WE MOVE NOW TO THE PRESENTATION DIVISION?

YEAH.

OKAY.

FIRST MATCHUP BROADCASTS RANDOMLY APPEARING IN 480P VERSUS JOEL KLATT.

NOT MY ONE OVERALL SEED, BUT IT’S UP THERE.

IT’S UP THERE VERSUS JOEL KLATT.

WE INCLUDED THAT WAS JUST A JOKE.

THAT WAS JUST A GOOF.

YEAH, WE PUT KLATT IN HERE.

I DON’T THINK WE REALLY MEANT TO INCLUDE JOEL KLATT, BUT WE NEEDED SOMETHING.

WE NEEDED SORT OF A PATSY TO GO UP AGAINST 480P, WHICH I THINK IS ONE OF OUR HIGHER SEEDS.

SO NO OFFENSE TO MR.

KLATT.

HE’S IN HERE JUST SO 480P CAN MOVE ON.

HE WON THE PLAY IN GAME, MAYBE AGAINST KIRK HERBSTREIT OR I DON’T KNOW SOMEBODY ELSE TODD BLACKLEDGE, BUT 480P.

HOW IS THIS STILL POSSIBLE THAT WE’RE GETTING 480P BROADCASTS IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2023-2024?

WE GOT AN EXPLANATION THAT IT WAS ESPN FARMING OUT SOME OF THE PRODUCTION TRUCK ELEMENT TO A THIRD PARTY AND OR USING OLD TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY WEREN’T ABLE TO UPLOAD OR UPLINK THE FEED IN ANYTHING HIGHER THAN 480P.

AND SO THEY WERE UP CONVERTING FOR ALL YOU DORKS.

I BELIEVE THEY WERE JUST SORT OF STRETCHING THE FRAME TO APPEAR IN A HIGHER RESOLUTION.

IT WAS ALWAYS THE GILMORE GAME.

TWO YEARS AGO, IT WAS A ROD GILMORE GAME AND HE WOULD GET THE BAD CAMERAS, WHICH I DON’T KNOW IF THAT WAS SOME SORT OF LIKE, YOU KNOW, IMPLICIT DIG ON ROD GILMORE OR NOT.

BUT HE SEEMINGLY GOT THE BAD CAMERAS FOR A YEAR AND WE STILL HAVE A COUPLE OF THESE CREEPING IN.

WE STILL HAVE A COUPLE OF THESE CREEPING IN.

I DON’T THINK IT’S QUITE AS OVERT AS IT WAS WITH THE GILMORE GAMES TWO YEARS AGO.

BUT ON OCCASION, WE’LL HAVE LIKE A WEIRD WEATHER SITUATION OR WE’RE REVERTING TO A BACKUP CAMERA OR SOME SORT OF SETUP WHERE YOU END UP WITH JUST ANYTHING SHORT OF EVEN 720P IN THIS CASE, WHERE IT JUST LOOKS REALLY, REALLY BAD.

THAT IN AGAIN, THE MINOR ANNOYANCE CATEGORY.

THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FOUR SEEDS FOR ME.

I PROBABLY WOULDN’T PUT JOEL KLATT IN THIS MATCHUP.

IF WE’RE TALKING ABOUT LIKE THE COLOR ANALYST WHERE AND LOOK, I’M SURE I FIT THIS PERSONALLY FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE.

YOU’RE LIKE SOLID VERBAL’S GOOD, DAN IS A MINOR ANNOYANCE.

I IF I WERE TO SAY WHO IN THE BOOTH AS LIKE THE ANALYST, I THINK BY AND LARGE, I’M GOOD WITH A LOT OF PLAY BY PLAY GUYS AND NOBODY STANDS OUT AS A MINOR ANNOYANCE.

LIKE EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN WAY OF APPROACHING A GAME.

IT’S THE CASUALLY MOVING PAST HUGE MOMENTS OR NOT TALKING ABOUT THEM OR NOT GETTING A REPLAY IN THERE, WHICH IS NOT THE ANALYST FAULT NECESSARILY.

BUT I WOULD I WOULD PUT THIS UNDER LIKE A TIM BRANDO ENTRY RATHER THAN A JOEL KLATT WHERE YOU WATCH A GAME AND YOU’RE LIKE, DID HE JUST WAS HE AN EMERGENCY ADDITION TO THE BROADCAST?

LIKE IT NEVER SEEMS LIKE HE’S FULLY LIKE AWARE OF A ROSTER OR A TEAM’S SEASON THUS FAR WHERE IT’S JUST LIKE BRANDO LIVES 44 MILES AWAY.

GET HIM HERE IMMEDIATELY.

THAT’S THE VIBE I GET.

HE CAME FROM A WEDDING RECEPTION.

YES.

WHERE IT WAS LIKE WHOEVER WAS SLATED TO CALL THAT GAME HAD SOME TRULY AWFUL BARBECUE THE NIGHT BEFORE AND AS HAVING INTESTINAL DESPAIR AND TIM BRANDO.

YES, IS AT A LOCAL WEDDING AND HAPPENS TO BE ABLE TO.

HE HAS A SUIT.

HE HAS JUST GOT A HAIRCUT.

WE’LL SEND A CAR.

YOU’RE ON THE MIC.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

480P GOES ON.

NEXT ONE.

THIS IS MY NUMBER ONE OVERALL SEED.

THIS NEXT ONE’S MY NUMBER ONE OVERALL SEED.

THE MODERN SWIRLING SLASH FLASHY LED STADIUM LIGHT THING.

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE MORE SPECIFIC.

THE THING THEY DO AT ALABAMA WITH THE STROBE LIGHTS.

YEAH, THEIR LEDS ARE GOING IN EVERYWHERE.

BUT YEAH, YOU GET THE ELEPHANT SOUND.

YEAH, THAT VERSUS STADIUMS, THE STADIUM DJS.

I THINK IT HAS TO BE LEDS.

I DON’T GET IT.

OF COURSE YOU GET IT.

IT’S WE CAN DO THIS.

SO WE WILL.

BUT ALSO, TY, WE’RE COMBINED LIKE 85 YEARS OLD.

I GET IT.

LISTEN, I GET THIS.

HERE’S MY THING WITH THIS.

HERE’S WHY THIS IS A MINOR ANNOYANCE TO ME.

I DON’T MIND THE INNOVATION.

WE TALK ABOUT WE DO LIKE SIX SHOWS A YEAR WHERE WE TRY TO RACK OUR BRAINS FOR NEW WAYS THAT RECRUITS CAN INNOVATE IN THE SPACE OF RECRUITING ANNOUNCEMENTS IN THE SPACE OF DRAFT DECLARATION ANNOUNCEMENTS, TRANSFER ANNOUNCEMENTS, YOU NAME IT.

THIS IS LARGELY A SPORT OUTSIDE OF WHAT WE SEE, MAYBE FROM AN X’S AND O’S STANDPOINT.

THIS IS LARGELY A SPORT THAT’S VOID OF INNOVATION.

OK, VOID OF INNOVATION, SAVE FOR A FEW OBVIOUS THINGS.

WHAT BOTHERS ME IS THAT BAMA STARTED DOING THIS AND THEN A BUNCH OF OTHER SCHOOLS JUST DECIDED, OH, WE WANT TO BE BAMA.

WE’RE GOING TO DO IT, TOO.

RIGHT.

I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY SCHOOLS ARE DOING THIS THING NOW WITH THE LED STADIUM LIGHTS, BUT IT LOOKS DIFFERENT, RIGHT?

THE LEDS.

AND LOOK, IF YOU’RE DOING THIS BECAUSE IT’S MORE EFFICIENT, THE BULBS LAST LONGER.

THERE’S A LOT OF GOOD REASONS, I’M SURE, TO UPGRADE YOUR LIGHTING.

BUT IT LOOKS DIFFERENT, RIGHT?

THE TEMPERATURE OF THE LIGHTS MAKES IT LOOK SOMETIMES LIKE YOU’RE PLAYING IN A DOME, EVEN THOUGH IT’S OUTSIDE.

LIKE THERE’S A DIFFERENT LOOK TO THE LED TRANSFER.

IT’S LIKE A 6100 KELVIN SITUATION.

RIGHT.

YOU’RE PLAYING UNDER A DESK LAMP.

LIKE, THIS IS A WEIRD, WEIRD, DIFFERENT LOOK WHERE YOU THINK YOUR TV IS A LITTLE BIT OFF, BUT IT’S JUST THE STADIUM LIGHTING HAS.

AND YOU GET YOUR EYES GET USED TO IT.

BUT THE SORT OF FLASHING AND ALL THE LIGHTS GO OUT.

WE CAN ALSO FILE THIS UNDER MINOR GRIEVANCES BECAUSE TY AND DAN ARE JUST GETTING UP THERE IN YEARS.

YES, WE CAN.

TY AND DAN ARE YELLING AT SOME CLOUDS.

RIGHT.

BUT IT’S OUR SHOW.

THERE’S A HEAVY MILLENNIAL INFLUENCE ON THIS SHOW, AND THAT’S FINE.

YEAH, OF COURSE.

YOU INCLUDED STADIUM DJS ON HERE.

YEAH.

WHAT’S YOUR BEEF WITH STADIUM DJS?

OKAY, SO LET’S BE CLEAR.

I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH STADIUMS PLAYING MUSIC LIKE BETWEEN QUARTERS OR BEFORE KICKOFF.

ALL THAT IS COOL, AND IT’S GREAT.

IT’S THE ACTUAL LIKE DJ IS ON THE FIELD MIXING THINGS BEFORE A GAME OR LIKE SOMEBODY IN THE ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT FELT LIKE THE STADIUM NEEDED MORE ENERGY.

AND SO THEY BROUGHT IN DJ ROBBY ROB.

AND HE’S DOWN THERE LIKE HE HAS A MICROPHONE.

HE’S HYPING UP THE CROWD.

I KNOW THERE’S A LOT OF LIKE IN STADIUM ANNOUNCERS AND HOSTS AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

AND I’M SURE THERE’S A SPECTRUM OF GOOD ONES AND NOT SO GOOD ONES.

BUT IT’S JUST THE IDEA OF AGAIN WE ARE ENTERING OR WE HAVE ENTERED OUR FIFTH DECADE OF LIFE.

WE’RE OLD.

WE’RE YELLING AT CLOUDS OR HAS BEEN WHATEVER.

BUT SEEING A DJ ON A COLLEGE FOOTBALL FIELD, IT SORT OF SEEMS INCONGRUOUS.

IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TIME TO ME THAT THERE ARE PROBABLY REASONS WHY THERE IS AN ENERGY THERE AND A DJ IS NOT GOING TO FIX IT.

IT’S JUST GOING TO MAKE IT LOOK WEIRD TO ME.

ALL RIGHT.

WE’RE GOING LEDS.

WE GOT TO GO LED LIGHTS, RIGHT?

YEAH.

OKAY.

YEAH.

NETWORKS NOT SHOWING AN OBVIOUS REPLAY.

THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE ALLUDING TO JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO VERSUS AN UNREVIEWABLE GAME-BREAKING MOMENT.

THIS IS A VERY GOOD ONE.

SO THE FIRST IS SORT OF WHAT YOU ALLUDED TO WITH, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER ANNOUNCER DOESN’T MATTER.

AND I FEEL LIKE I’VE HAD THIS GRIEVANCE WITH FOX A LOT OVER THE LAST COUPLE YEARS WHERE THEY’RE KIND OF IN THE THROWS OF THE BROADCAST AND NOT THROWN ANYONE IN PARTICULAR UNDER THE BUS WITH THIS.

BUT IT JUST FEELS LIKE THEY’RE REALLY IN THE GROOVE OF CALLING THE GAME, OF CALLING THE SITUATION, OF TALKING THROUGH THE SCENARIOS.

AND I’M AT HOME ON MY COUCH SCREAMING, “SHOW ME THE REPLAY.”

YOU SHOW EVERY OTHER REPLAY.

WHY NOT THIS ONE?

SEEMS OBVIOUS.

THEY DON’T SHOW IT.

THAT’S VERY BOTHERSOME FOR ME.

I THINK THAT ONE IS MY ANSWER BECAUSE IT REALLY AFFECTS THE USER EXPERIENCE, THE VIEWER EXPERIENCE.

AND I THINK I PROBABLY UNDERSTAND A LITTLE BIT OF WHY WE GET THAT SOMETIMES.

TOTALLY.

I TOTALLY GET IT.

BECAUSE WE’RE MOVING MORE TOWARDS MORE REMOTE BROADCAST BECAUSE ESPN, FOX, WHOEVER ARE LOOKING TO BROADCAST ON THE CHEAP BECAUSE THEY’RE LOOKING TO SAVE MONEY AFTER SPENDING A LOT OF CASH ON THESE RIGHTS.

AND SO YOU HAVE ANNOUNCERS CALLING KANSAS, KANSAS STATE, AND LA.

YOU HAVE ANNOUNCERS CALLING CINCINNATI, UTAH, AND CONNECTICUT.

AND SO THERE ARE GOING TO BE FEWER CAMERAS.

THERE ARE GOING TO BE FEWER PRODUCTION EMPLOYEES, REPLAY EMPLOYEES, REPLAY OPPORTUNITIES.

AND SO IF THERE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE WHETHER OR NOT A GUY CROSSED THE GOAL LINE AND ALL YOU GET IS AN ANGLE BEHIND THE PLAY WHERE YOU CAN’T TELL ANYTHING, AND YOU’RE JUST LIKE, “WELL, THIS IS COMPLETELY USELESS.”

WELL, IT’S BECAUSE WE DON’T HAVE AS MANY CAMERAS BECAUSE WE ARE CUTTING COSTS.

AND IT’S HORRIBLE.

AND IT RUINS THAT MOMENT WHERE YOU’RE LIKE, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE REFS ARE LOOKING AT.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I SHOULD BE LOOKING AT IF I CAN’T SEE A GOOD ANGLE.”

OR JUST MOVING PAST A PLAY WHERE YOU’RE LIKE, “YOU NEEDED, OBVIOUSLY, TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED.”

IT WAS A BANG-BANG THING.

AND YOU’RE JUST LIKE, “WELL, THAT WAS A FIRST DOWN.

WE’RE MOVING ON.”

AND YOU’RE LIKE, “WHAT WAS IT?

CLEARLY, IT DIDN’T SEEM LIKE IT WAS.”

AND WE JUST MOVE ON AND DON’T TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

WORST.

I THINK WE GOT TO MOVE THAT ONE THROUGH.

YEAH.

FOR AS MUCH AS THE UNREVIEWABLE MOMENT CAN BE BOTHERSOME, WE ARE NOTHING IF NOT SELFISH PODCAST HOSTS.

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE USER EXPERIENCE FROM OUR CATCH.

FINAL PAIRING IN THIS SUB-REGION, AGAIN, THE PRESENTATION SUB-REGION, LET’S CALL IT.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

I JOTTED THESE DOWN.

THESE ARE TWO TY ONES, OKAY?

I’VE GOT SIDELINE REPORTS THAT OFFER NO INSIGHT VERSUS RULES ANALYSTS WHO HEDGE.

ONE IS SORT OF INNOCUOUS.

ONE, YOU’RE GENERALLY IN A HEIGHTENED STATE OF NERVOUSNESS BECAUSE THERE’S A PLAY THAT’S SO CLOSE THAT IT’S BEING REVIEWED BY THE REFS, WHETHER IT’S TARGETING, WHETHER IT’S A SPOT, WHETHER IT’S OUT OF BOUNDS, WHETHER IT’S DID HE COME DOWN OR BOBBLE THE CATCH, WHATEVER.

I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S A HIGHER LEVERAGE MOMENT, BUT IT’S A TENSER MOMENT.

AND HAVING A RULES ANALYST ON THERE WHO DOESN’T NECESSARILY CARE ABOUT GETTING IT RIGHT OR IS SORT OF WISHY-WASHY WITH LIKE, “WELL, THEY MIGHT BE THINKING THIS.”

I’M LIKE, “WELL, WHY ARE WE HERE?

WHY ARE WE HERE TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION?

WE CAN JUST WAIT AND SEE.”

I THINK THAT GETS IT FOR ME BECAUSE A SIDELINE REPORTER SAYING, “COACH SAID THEY GOT TO TOUGHEN UP IN THE SECOND HALF.

BACK TO YOU, BILL.”

IT’S KIND OF ANNOYING, BUT IT DOESN’T REALLY GO AS FAR AS BEING MEMORABLE.

HERE’S THE THING.

I THINK SIDELINE REPORTERS, BY AND LARGE, GET A REALLY BAD RAP.

A REALLY BAD RAP BECAUSE, LOOK, ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS READ THE INTERNET.

AND YOU CAN SEE WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO DO A GOOD JOB AT SIDELINE REPORTING.

IT’S HARD TO OFFER INSIGHT FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE BECAUSE YOU’RE CHASING DOWN INJURIES.

YOU’RE TRYING TO BE IN THE FLOW OF THE GAME.

I THINK IT’S A MUCH HARDER JOB THAN MOST PEOPLE WOULD RECOGNIZE.

AND SO, BY AND LARGE, AND AGAIN, THIS IS A MINOR ANNOYANCE FROM MY STANDPOINT WHERE I’M IN THE GAME.

I’M WATCHING NOTRE DAME.

I’M WATCHING PENN STATE.

THEY KICK IT DOWN TO WHOEVER IS ON THE SIDE, TOM LUGINBILL, WHOEVER IS ON THE SIDELINES.

AND THEY GIVE ME A NUGGET OF INFORMATION THAT DOES NOT INTEREST ME, AND I SORT OF FURROW MY BROW AT THAT.

BUT THAT’S A HARD SPOT TO PUT ANYBODY IN.

YEAH, AND IF YOU’RE A REPORTER, YOU WANT TO JUSTIFY YOUR EXISTENCE IN PLACE.

AND THERE ARE A NUMBER OF THINGS THAT ARE SUPER INTERESTING THAT SIDELINE REPORTERS OR SIDELINE ANALYSTS, WHATEVER, CAN REPORT ON.

THAT LIKE IF A COACH AND PLAYER GOT IN A SHOUTING MATCH OR A SHOVING MATCH OR IF THIS PLAYER IS FAVORING HIS LEFT ANKLE OR IF THIS QUARTERBACK RIGHT BEFORE THIS KEY DRIVE WAS REALLY INSPIRING HIS OFFENSIVE LINE AND HIS RECEIVERS AND THE EXPLETIVES WERE FLYING, THAT’S REALLY INTERESTING, NICE COLOR TO UNDERSTAND BEFORE A BIG MOMENT OR A BIG DRIVE.

LIKE THAT’S REALLY COOL THAT SAY MOLLY MCGRATH OR JENNY TAFT OR WHOEVER, BOTH OF THOSE WOMEN DO GREAT JOBS.

THAT’S LIKE TO OBSERVE THE EMOTION ON THE SIDELINE AND REPORT BACK ON IT.

THAT’S COOL.

BUT LIKE I TALKED TO COACH SO-AND-SO AND THEY SAID THEY NEED TO KEEP DOING WHAT THEY’RE DOING.

EXACTLY.

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING.

SO I GET IT.

I THINK THAT’S A HARD JOB.

I THINK IT GETS A BAD RAP.

WHEN RULES ANALYSTS HEDGE THOUGH, THIS ONE IRKS ME.

THE SOLE PURPOSE, THERE ARE TWO PURPOSES IN MY VIEW FOR THE RULES ANALYST, I.E. THE EX-REFEREE WHO THEY PUT UP IN THE BOOTH.

GIVE HIM A MONITOR, LET HIM LOOK AT ALL THE REPLAYS.

THE TWO RULES FOR THE RULES ANALYST IS A, EXPLAIN THE RULES TO US LIKE WE’RE DUM-DUMS.

HERE’S THE APPLICABLE RULE FOR THIS MOMENT.

RIGHT.

YEAH.

RIGHT.

AND THEN GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON REPLAYS.

I WOULD SAY FOR THE MOST PART, THEY’RE PRETTY DAMN GOOD AT EXPLAINING THE RULES.

THEY DO A GOOD JOB OF THAT.

BUT I HAVE SEEN IT HAPPEN ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS WHERE THEY SHOW THE REPLAY AND THE RULES ANALYST IS UNWILLING TO PICK A SIDE.

YEAH.

AND I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO BE WRONG BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO BE WRONG, LET’S BE HONEST.

OR IF THEY’RE JUST LIKE TRYING NOT TO BE CONTROVERSIAL.

BUT THE WHOLE REASON, HALF OF THE REASON FOR THAT PERSON TO BE UP THERE AND HAVE THAT MICROPHONE IS TO TAKE A SIDE ON SOME OF THESE QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS.

RIGHT.

WHEN THEY DON’T, THAT BOTHERS ME.

I PUT THAT ONE THROUGH.

YEAH.

AND YOU CAN, I’LL PUT IT THROUGH TOO.

AND WHAT YOU CAN DO IF YOU ARE, YOU KNOW, MIKE PEREIRA, DEAN BLANDINO, ANY OF THESE GUYS IS YOU CAN VERY PLAINLY STATE THAT THIS IS A DIFFICULT CALL BECAUSE THEY’RE BOBBLING IT AS THEY GO OUT OF BOUNDS.

THIS IS PURELY A JUDGMENT CALL BY THE REPLAY OFFICIAL.

I SAY NO CATCH.

RIGHT.

YEAH.

THAT YOU CAN, IT’S NOT HEDGING, BUT IT’S SORT OF DESCRIBING WHY IT’S DIFFICULT.

HERE’S HOW I WOULD CALL IT.

YEAH.

THAT TO ME IS ACCEPTABLE, BUT THAT’S NOT ALWAYS THE REALITY.

ALL RIGHT, LET’S MOVE ON.

WE’VE GOT, WE’RE HALFWAY THROUGH HERE.

IT’S GOING TO START MOVING QUICK.

I PROMISE.

LET’S DO IT.

I’VE DONE THIS BEFORE.

I KNOW HOW TO PACE IT.

TRUST ME.

I’M READY.

UNIFORMS THAT BLEND IN WITH THE TURF VERSUS PLAYERS THROWING PUNCHES AT HELMETED OPPONENTS.

OKAY, SO I’M NOT COLORBLIND.

WELL, YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THOUGH.

THE LATTER.

YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE.

THERE HAVE BEEN SHADES OF GREEN AND THEN BOISE STATE BLUE.

I DON’T KNOW IF WE’VE HAD LIKE AN EASTERN WASHINGTON MOMENT OR A COASTAL CAROLINA MOMENT.

WE HAVE SOME ALT COLORS THAT AREN’T GREEN OR BLUE.

I’M NOT COLORBLIND, SO THIS ISN’T AS EMOTIONAL AN ITEM FOR ME.

SO I THINK I’M GOING TO HAVE PUNCHING A HARD HELMET.

THAT’S MORE FUNNY THAN ANNOYING.

BUT IF IT’S YOUR GUY AND HE BREAKS YOUR GUY DOING THAT, THAT’S THE THING.

OR IF HE GETS PENALIZED FOR IT.

AND IF HE GETS PENALIZED, YEAH.

THROWING THE PUNCH AT THE HELMETED OPPONENT TO ME.

IT’S MORE OF A HEAD SCRATCHER.

THIS IS SORT OF A HEAD SCRATCHER SUB-REGION, OKAY?

PLAYERS THROWING PUNCHES AT THE HELMET.

THAT GOES THROUGH.

NEXT UP, THE QUARTERBACK WHO IS NOTABLY NOT PATRICK MAHOMES BELIEVING HIMSELF TO BE PATRICK MAHOMES.

YEAH.

VERSUS THE WRAP AND SLIP OUT SACKS.

EXPLAIN THESE TWO TO OUR VERBAL HOOD IN QUARTERBACKS BEING SACKED IS RIGHT-HANDED AND HIS ONLY WAY OF GETTING THE BALL OUT IS THROWING THE BALL STRAIGHT UP WITH HIS LEFT HAND.

YEAH, NOT MY FAVORITE THING.

THAT’S PRETTY MAJOR, THOUGH.

I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THAT’S MINOR ANNOYANCE AND WATCHING A GAME, BUT IT’S ANYTHING WHERE IT’S JUST LIKE I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING AS THE NINTH MOST COMPETENT BIG TEN QUARTERBACK THAT ONLY A HALL OF FAMER CAN MAKE.

MAYBE PULL OFF.

I APPRECIATE THE BALLS.

I APPRECIATE THE THE MINDSET OF LIKE I GOT TO DO ANYTHING POSSIBLE TO HELP THIS TEAM WIN.

BUT SOMETIMES JUST THROW OUT OF BOUNDS.

SOMETIMES TAKE SACK TAKING SACKS BETTER THAN THROWING AN INTERCEPTION.

THAT’S AWFUL.

AND THEN WHAT WAS THE OTHER ONE WRAP UP AND SLIP OUT SACKS?

THAT HAPPENS.

THAT TO ME IS MY WINNER.

THAT TO ME IS LIKE A PLAYER WHO HAS DONE EVERYTHING RIGHT TO BEAT THE RIGHT TACKLE TO, YOU KNOW, SWING THEIR HIP TOWARDS THE QUARTERBACK AND THEN TO BE TEASED WITH THE UPCOMING REALITY OF A SACK AND THEN HAVE A WRIGGLE AWAY.

YEAH, THAT TO ME WHEN I THINK ABOUT THESE TWO THINGS BECAUSE THE FORMER HAPPENS SO INFREQUENTLY, BUT I FEEL LIKE THE WRIGGLE AWAY NON SACK.

THAT IS THAT’S SOMETHING I DON’T GET PAST THERE.

THERE ARE A LOT OF QUARTERBACKS OUT THERE WHO TRY TO PLAY HERO BALL.

AND I THINK A LOT OF A LOT OF QUARTERBACKS CERTAINLY IN TODAY’S DAY AND AGE THAT HAVE BEEN INFLUENCED BY PAT MAHOMES AND WHAT HE CAN DO.

SURE.

AND SO THERE’S THERE’S A LOT MORE OF THE I SAW A CLIP FLOATING AROUND SOCIAL MEDIA.

MAC JONES IS WORKING ON NO LOOK PASSES TO WHY NOT?

HE WILL NEED THAT AS A BACKUP FOR THE JAGUARS, RIGHT?

LET’S JUST WORK ON NAILING HIS LOOK PASSES.

LET’S LET’S WORK ON THE ON THE LOOK PASSES.

YEAH.

YEAH, BUT THERE’S A LOT OF THAT GOING ON RIGHT NOW, BUT THE WRAP UP AND SLIP OUT SACK THE WRIGGLE AWAY.

I’M JOTTING THAT DOWN THE WRIGGLE WAY.

WRIGGLE AWAY IS PRETTY GOOD TO ME.

SO THAT ONE MOVES ON.

OKAY, NEXT UP WE HAVE A CLASH OF, I WOULD SAY, TITANS, DAN.

OKAY, IF I’M VENTURING AGAINST ONE OF THESE TWO COMES OUT OF THIS LITTLE SUB REGION.

YEAH, YEAH, IT’S A MATCHUP BETWEEN KICK CATCH INTERFERENCE AND THE MIDFIELD FOURTH AND SHORT PUNT PLUS PLUS IMPORTANT CAVEAT.

THE ANNOUNCER IS ALSO APPLAUDING IT HAD TO DO IT.

CHIP HAD TO DO IT.

THE ANNOUNCER IN THE 49 WITH PLENTY OF TIME LEFT.

YOU GOT A PUNT.

YOU GOT A PUNT AND TRUST YOUR DEFENSE.

THE ANNOUNCER APPLAUDING IT.

I THINK THAT’S THE KICKER.

ULTIMATELY, THAT’S THE RIGHT MOVE.

YEAH, IT’S TOUGH THERE, BUT THAT’S THE RIGHT CALL.

YEAH, CATCH INTERFERENCE IS REALLY A PAIN IN THE ASS THOUGH.

DON’T KNOW HOW YOU CAN ASK AN OFFENSE TO GAIN LITERALLY A YARD.

I DON’T SEE IT.

I DON’T SEE IT.

CALL ME OLD SCHOOL.

THE THING ABOUT THE ANNOUNCERS WHEN THEY WHEN THEY APPLAUD IT.

YEAH, IT ALWAYS COMES FROM LIKE THIS DEEP GUNNERAL ALMOST PHILOSOPHICAL BELIEF THAT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO PLAY IT.

YEAH, AND EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, IT COMES AT ODDS WITH SOME GRAPHIC THAT THEY’RE PUTTING UP ON THE SCREEN OR SOMETHING THAT THE PLAY BY PLAY ANALYST CALLS OUT THAT TALKS ABOUT THE ANALYTICS OF THE SITUATION.

YOU KNOW, I MEAN, YEAH, 26% OF THE TIME ON FOURTH AND LESS THAN YARD GOING FOR IT.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE PERCENTAGE IS.

I JUST MADE THAT UP GOING FOR IT WILL YIELD A FIRST DOWN.

WELL, WE GOT TO GO.

YOU GOT TO PUNT IT.

YOU GOT TO PUNT IN THIS SITUATION.

GOT TO TURN OVER YOUR DEFENSE DEFENSE.

WE PLAY WELL THE WHOLE GAME.

I THINK THIS IS THE ONE THAT GOES THROUGH.

YEAH, WELL, THERE’S THERE’S GENERALLY SOME SORT OF ALLUSION TO I KNOW THE ANALYTICS SAY GO, BUT THAT’S RIGHT.

EXACTLY.

AND AND YOU KNOW, AND IT’S JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW, I DON’T THINK YOU GOT IT.

YOU DON’T TRUST MOMENTS LIKE THESE TO THE MATH DORKS IN THE BUILDING.

THAT’S RIGHT.

THERE WAS A LITTLE BIT OF CLOUT ENERGY TO THAT REFERENCE.

THERE WAS A LITTLE BIT OF CLOUT IN THAT.

YEAH.

AND SO YEAH, THAT’S THAT’S THE ONE WHERE LOOK THERE ARE AND I’M A BIG BELIEVER RIGHT THAT LIKE ALL FOURTH AND ONES FROM MIDFIELD ARE NOT CREATED EQUAL THAT YOU KNOW THERE ARE EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES.

THERE ARE REASONS TO PUNT OR THERE ARE REASONS TO CONSIDER PUNTING EVEN IF YOU GO FOR IT, BUT IT DOES SEEM LIKE THERE IS THIS AUTOMATIC AVERSION TO AGGRESSION.

AND WHEN A TEAM GOES FOR IT, WHICH GENERALLY SPEAKING, THE MATH WILL SAY IN A LOT OF THESE MOMENTS, IT YOU KNOW, IT’S 70% OR 80% LIKE THAT.

THERE’S THIS AVERSION TO AGGRESSION FROM THE ANNOUNCERS.

AND IF A TEAM DOESN’T GET IT, THEY USE THAT AS A REASON THAT THEY WERE RIGHT, RIGHT THAT IT’S NOT PROCESS ITS RESULTS.

IT’S YOU KNOW, AND SO THAT TO ME, IT’S ALMOST LIKE EXPECTED NOW, BUT I DO LOVE IT WHEN A TEAM CORRECTLY GOES FOR IT.

THE ANNOUNCER SAYS, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT TIM, AND THEN THEY GET IT AND THEN THEY JUST SORT OF HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE THEY JUST DIDN’T AGREE WITH IT.

YEAH, AND THE FLIP SIDE TO THIS NOW IN THE DAY AND AGE OF LIKE LANE KIFFIN, WHO HAS BEEN VERY AGGRESSIVE ON FOURTH DOWNS.

YOU HAVE A LOT MORE OF THIS WHEN ANNOUNCERS ARE CALLING LANE KIFFIN GAMES, OLE MISS GAMES.

RIGHT, OF COURSE.

BECAUSE IT’S SO PATENTLY OBVIOUS THAT HE’S GOING TO BE GOING FOR IT IN SOME OF THESE SITUATIONS AND ANNOUNCERS IN A SENSE HAVE TO BITE THEIR LIP TO NOT BE TOO ANTI.

EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW THEY ALL ARE, THEY ALL SEE.

LOOK, I ROOT FOR A TEAM THAT WAS OVERLY AGGRESSIVE AND DIDN’T KICK A FIELD GOAL AFTER A TURNOVER RIGHT BEFORE THE HALF THAT ULTIMATELY COULD HAVE BEEN A DIFFERENCE IN THE GAME.

THE OREGON WASHINGTON GAME THIS YEAR, AND YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR SPOTS.

YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR MOMENTS TO TAKE POINTS, DEPENDING ON THE CLOCK, DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION.

I FULLY AGREE WITH YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ALL GAS, NO BRAKES, EVERY PLAY OR EVERY DECISION, BUT I’M ALWAYS GOING TO ERR ON THE SIDE OF TRUSTING YOUR OFFENSE TO GAIN A YARD, GIVING YOUR DEFENSE A LITTLE BIT MORE TIME TO REST TO HAVE AN ENTIRE YEAR, ENTIRE SPRING PRACTICE, AN ENTIRE WEEK OF PRACTICE, ENTIRE FALL CAMP TO INSTALL PLAYS THAT YOU FEEL LIKE GIVE YOU A 96% CHANCE OF SUCCEEDING.

IF YOU NEED TO GAIN ONE OR TWO YARDS MIDFIELD ISH OR JUST TAPE EVERY SINGLE KYLE SHANAHAN PLAY.

THAT’S RIGHT.

EXACTLY.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS LAST ONE HERE.

WE’VE GOT WASTED TIMEOUTS COMING BACK TO BITE YOUR TEAM LATE VERSUS A BIZARRE TWO-POINT ATTEMPT.

OKAY, SO BOTH SORT OF RELATED TO THE LAST MATCHUP.

BOTH SORT OF RELATED.

THEY’RE ALL KIND OF RELATED THEMATICALLY HERE IN THIS SUB POD, BUT THE WASTED TIMEOUTS THING I FEEL HAS BEEN A AN ANNOYANCE SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME.

YEAH.

THIS IS ALL UNDER THE UMBRELLA CATEGORY OF BAD CLOCK MANAGEMENT.

THE BIZARRE TWO-POINT ATTEMPT TO ME IS AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION AND WHAT I MEAN BY THIS IS THOSE GAME SITUATIONS WHERE THE COACH JUST SORT OF DECIDES HE’S FEELING HIMSELF AND HE’S GOING TO GO FOR IT.

IT DOESN’T NECESSARILY MAKE SENSE TO DRAW THE LEAD DOWN TO FIVE POINTS, BUT WE’RE GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY.

AND THEN WHEN THEY MISS IT, BRIAN KELLY’S HAD A FEW OF THESE IN HIS COACHING CAREER.

MARK HELFRICH AT OREGON, SURE.

IT’S LIKE WE’RE GOING TO GO FOR IT.

AND IF IT DOESN’T WORK, SO BE IT.

IT WILL SET US BACK NINE POINTS AS OPPOSED TO THREE, BUT WE FEEL IT.

WE’RE GOING FOR IT ANYWAY.

WHAT SAY YOU?

SO BIZARRE TWO-POINT.

WHAT WAS THE OTHER ONE?

BIZARRE TWO-POINT DECISION VERSUS WASTED TIMEOUTS COMING BACK TO BITE YOU LATE.

OH MAN, AT LEAST YOU KIND OF KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH WHEN YOU WASTE A TIME OUT AND YOU CAN ADJUST ACCORDINGLY.

IT DOES ANNOY ME RIGHT THAT YOU KNOW A TEAM CAN’T GET SET OR THAT THERE’S TOO MANY PLAYERS ON THE FIELD THAT LIKE IT’S COACHING AND PROCEDURAL.

SO IT’S ANNOYING ON THE COACHES, NOT NECESSARILY ON THE QUARTERBACK, NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THE GAME CLOCK.

SO I’M GOING TO GO WITH BIZARRE TWO-POINT CONVERSION PLAY JUST BECAUSE THE WORST OF THOSE IS A QUARTERBACK ROLLING OUT, NOT SEEING ANYBODY AND LIKE BUYING TIME AND THEY’RE JUST HEAVING IT TOWARDS THE END ZONE TO HOPE THAT SOMEBODY COMES DOWN WITH A TIPPED PASS.

YEAH, IT WHEN IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THERE’S A PLAN.

SO I’M GOING TO GO WITH THAT ONE.

I’M GOING TO GO WITH THE BIZARRE TWO-POINT PLAY.

YEAH, LET’S CALL THE BIZARRE TWO-POINT SITUATION BECAUSE IT.

YEAH, WHAT WE’RE CALLING OUT HERE IS THE FULL DECISION TREE.

NOT ONLY DECIDING TO GO FOR IT, BUT THEN GOING FORWARD AND NOT REALLY HAVING A PLAN.

OTHERWISE, RIGHT FINAL CLASSIFICATION HERE.

WE WILL JUST CALL THESE HEAD SCRATCHERS.

OKAY, RIGHT CONSISTENTLY AWFUL SNAPPING VERSUS GLOVELESS FUMBLES.

OKAY, SO THESE WERE TWO ENTRIES THAT I CAME UP WITH CONSISTENTLY AWFUL SNAPPING IS MY NUMBER ONE OVERALL.

BECAUSE ALL RIGHT, EVERY CENTER IS AN OFFENSIVE LINEMAN.

OKAY, AND IT’S A SPECIALIZED ROLE IN WHICH CENTERS SNAP THE BALL.

WELL, EVEN BEFORE THEY SNAP THE BALL RIGHT THERE, GENERALLY CALLING OUT THE FRONTS TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE REST OF THE OFFENSIVE LINE.

IT’S A DIFFICULT POSITION TO PLAY IN DIFFICULT POSITION TO MASTER.

SURE, BUT IF YOUR CENTER CANNOT SNAP THE BALL, ALABAMA WENT THROUGH THIS WITH THEIR TEAM IN THE ROSE BOWL THIS YEAR AND A LOT OF TEAMS AT SOME POINT IN TIME.

WE’LL HAVE A CENTER WHO IS EITHER, YOU KNOW, AIR MAILING IT, YOU KNOW, SIX FEET ABOVE THE QUARTERBACK’S HEAD OR ROCKETING IT RIGHT AT THEIR SHINS OR, YOU KNOW, DIRTING THE BALL RIGHT TO THE QUARTERBACK FOR SOME REASON THAT I MEAN, YOU LIKE TO CALL IT THE YIPS, RIGHT?

THAT IS, YES, THIS IS NO, IT’S THIS IS ALL YIPS.

YEAH, THE THING THAT IS SO IT AGAIN.

THIS IS ANOTHER MARROW ONE FOR ME IS YOU CAN’T EVEN START A PLAY.

YOU CAN’T EVEN CAN’T EVEN GIVE YOURSELF AN OPPORTUNITY.

AND SO IF YOU GO INTO A PLAY AND YOUR CENTER HAS BEEN HAVING ISSUES SNAPPING THE BALL, ALL QUARTER LONG, ALL DRIVE LONG, ALL GAME LONG, WHATEVER, AND YOU GO INTO A THIRD AND SIX AND YOU HAVE TO ON ALL OF THE THIRD AND SIX IS HAVE IT IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND THAT I DON’T KNOW IF OUR CENTER CAN START THIS PLAY.

CORRECTLY, THAT TO ME LAST THE ENTIRE GAME.

I HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS BECAUSE OF THIS AS AN OREGON FAN WITH THE 2015 ALAMO BOWL, LIKE ALL OF THESE MOMENTS OF HAVING A CENTER EITHER, EVEN IF IT JUST HAPPENS ONCE A GAME, THEN IT’S IN YOUR HEAD.

IT’S IN YOUR MIND AS A FAN THAT LIKE AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT, THIS COULD HAPPEN AGAIN AND COMPLETELY TANK THIS DRIVE OR THIS GAME OR WHATEVER.

SO I THAT’S MY NUMBER ONE IN THIS BRACKET.

GLOVELESS FUMBLES IS FUNNY TO SAY IT IS A FUNNY.

I HAD THAT AS AN OREGON FAN AS WELL WITH A RUNNING BACK.

BUT YEAH, THAT HAPPENS.

YOU’LL SEE THAT SOMETIMES.

YEAH, WHERE A RETURNER, A RUNNING BACK, A RECEIVER, WHATEVER, JUST GETS THE BALL PUNCHED OUT AND THAT HAPPENS.

BUT WHEN THEY DON’T TAKE ALL PRECAUTIONS TO KEEP A TIGHT GRIP ON THE BALL, AND I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE EVER WORN LIKE A MODERN COLLEGE FOOTBALL GLOVE.

THOSE THINGS ARE STICKY.

THEY’RE VERY, VERY TOUGH TO NOT HOLD ON TO A BALL WITH.

THAT’S A TOUGH ONE FOR ME THAT YOU PAIRED THOSE TWO BECAUSE I WAS PREPARED TO LET OUT SOME STEAM ON THAT.

BUT IT’S THE SNAP AND YIPS FOR ME.

YEAH, I MEAN, THE SECOND BASE IS ALSO HARD TO MASTER.

MIDDLE INFIELD IS A DIFFICULT SPOT ON THE BASEBALL DIAMOND TO MASTER.

THERE WAS A LOT OF MOVEMENT, A LOT OF COVERING SECOND BASE.

BUT THE BALL’S HIT TO YOU.

THERE’S MOTION TO IT.

THERE’S A LOT GOING ON.

I AGREE.

BUT IF YOU CAN’T THROW THE BALL TO FIRST, THAT SEEMS TO BE ONE OF THE MORE IMPORTANT ELEMENTS OF SCORING SECOND BASE.

SO MAYBE THERE’S A LITTLE BIT OF CHUCK KNOBLAUCH HERE, BUT CONSISTENT, AWFUL SNAPPING.

LET’S BE FAIR.

LET’S BE FAIR TO THE CENTERS WHO HAVE HAD ISSUES SNAPPING THE BALL.

IF YOU OR I WERE IF SOMEBODY SNAPPED THEIR FINGERS AND WE WERE SUDDENLY HOLDING A FOOTBALL AT THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE AND STARING AT ALBERT HAYNESWORTH RIGHT DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF US LOOKING TO DISEMBOWEL US, MAYBE OUR SNAPS WOULDN’T BE THE BEST EVER.

THIS IS FAIR.

BUT AGAIN, THAT’S PART OF THE POSITION.

YOU DON’T SIGN UP FOR THAT POSITION IF YOU CAN’T GET THE BALL TO THE QUARTERBACK.

SO, OKAY.

A CLEARLY UNCATCHABLE BALL RULED CATCHABLE.

MENTIONED THIS A LITTLE BIT EARLIER.

VERSUS THE NEEDLESS REVERSE FIELD OR BACKWARDS RUNNING ENDING IN A LOSS, POSSIBLY A KILLER PLAY.

SO THIS IS BASICALLY, WE MENTIONED THIS EARLIER, OKAY?

IT’S THE UNCATCHABLE BALL.

MAYBE IT’S RULED CATCHABLE.

MAYBE THERE’S INTERFERENCE ON THE PLAY AS WELL.

RIGHT.

VERSUS JUST SOMEBODY OUT THERE.

THIS IS NOT UNLIKE THE PAT MAHOMES ONE WE MENTIONED EARLIER.

WHERE SOMEBODY’S OUT THERE JUST TRYING TO MAKE A PLAY AND IN REALITY, THEY END UP MAKING IT.

I AM ALSO TYREEK HILL!

EXACTLY.

EXACTLY.

YEAH.

TO ME, IT’S THE SECOND ONE.

IT IS THE REVERSIBLE OR THE IRREVERSIBLE BUT STILL REVERSED PLAY.

THE ONE THAT MAKES THIS, THE SITUATION THAT MAKES THIS ONE THE WORST IS WHEN YOU ONLY NEED THREE YARDS.

TOTALLY.

YOU ONLY NEED THREE YARDS.

IT’S LIKE A COUNTER.

THE RUNNING BACK GETS IT.

NOWHERE TO GO.

INSTEAD OF JUST TRYING TO FALL FORWARD FOR A YARD AND A HALF AND GET TO THE NEXT PLAY, THEY INSTEAD TRY TO GO FULL BARRY SANDERS OR SAQUON BARKLEY.

REVERSE THE FIELD.

THERE’S DAYLIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FIELD.

NEVER MIND THAT EVERYBODY ELSE IS JUST AS FAST.

WE’RE GOING TO TRY FOR IT ANYWAY.

AND NOW SUDDENLY IT’S FOURTH AND 18.

IT’S INFURIATING.

AND IT’LL HAPPEN A LOT WITH A RECEIVER CATCHING THE BALL WITH HIS BACK TO A DEFENSE AND MERELY NEEDS TO TURN AROUND AND FALL FORWARD.

YEAH.

OR MERELY NEEDS TO TURN AROUND AND TAKE TWO STEPS AND GET OUT OF BOUNDS FOR AN EASY ROUTINE FIRST DOWN.

AND THEN THEY’RE TRYING TO ALSO BE AMARI COOPER.

OR YES, IT IS A RUNNING BACK TAKING A SWEEP AND THERE’S JUST NOTHING THERE.

TAKE THE TWO YARD LOSS AND MOVE ON TO SECOND AND 12 OR THE RUNNING BACK SAYS NOW LET’S SEE WHAT’S DOING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FIELD.

LET’S GO.

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE YOU’RE PLAYING AGAINST GEORGIA WHEN THE THE FAR SIDE OUTSIDE LINEBACKER IS JUST STAYING HOME BECAUSE HE’S GREAT AND WELL COACHED AND JUST SITTING THERE WAITING FOR AN EIGHT YARD LOSS.

AND SUDDENLY IT’S SECOND AND 16 AND THE CALCULUS CHANGES FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT THIS RUNNING BACK FOR SOUTH CAROLINA, THIS RUNNING BACK FOR DELAWARE, THIS RIGHT, WHOEVER I DON’T KNOW WHY I LUMPED IN SOUTH CAROLINA AND DELAWARE.

I’LL DO RESPECT TO EACH OF THOSE PROGRAMS DECIDED THAT LIKE NO, THEY ARE AS YOU MENTIONED, BARRY SANDERS, I GOT FOUR THREE SPEED BABY.

I GOT FOUR THREE SPEED.

WELL, THEY A LOT OF IT IS LIKE, WELL, THIS WORKED IN HIGH SCHOOL.

SO SURELY IT’S GOING TO WORK SANFORD STADIUM.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, TWO MORE QUICK ONES HERE.

YOU YOU PUT SHOVEL PASSES DOWN.

OH, I JUST HATE SHOVEL PASSES.

YEAH, SHOVEL PASSES VERSUS THE IMPROVISED LATERAL ON A LONG TOUCHDOWN RUN OR INTERCEPTION RETURN.

WELL, I GUESS IT WOULDN’T BE A TOUCHDOWN RUN, BUT ON A LONG RUN, A LONG RUN, LONG RUN.

OKAY, WELL, LOOK, IT’S THE REGGIE BUSH RULE.

IT’S THE BOTH OF THESE JUST FALL UNDER THE UMBRELLA OF NEEDLESS DANGER TO ME.

YEAH, WE’RE LIKE SHOVEL PASSES CAN WORK, BUT A LOT OF THOSE LIKE SHOVEL SCREENS REQUIRE LETTING IN A DEFENSIVE TACKLE OR TWO AND JUST SORT OF PUSHING THE BALL UNDERNEATH THEIR ARMS TO AN AWAITING, YOU KNOW, RECEIVER, TIGHT END RUNNING BACK, WHOEVER, AND YOU’RE SORT OF THROWING THE BALL ALSO INTO THE TEETH OF THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE.

AND IT JUST FEELS LIKE MANY MORE BAD THINGS CAN HAPPEN.

THE BEST OF THE BAD THINGS IS IT’S CAUGHT AND THE GUY’S IMMEDIATELY TACKLED FOR NO GAIN.

NOW YOU CAN CATCH A DEFENSE OFF GUARD.

SOMETIMES SOMETIMES WHEN IT WORKS, THOUGH, IT REALLY WORKS.

OF COURSE, IT’S JUST THERE IS SO MUCH THAT CAN GO WRONG WHEN YOU HAVE A QUARTERBACK DO AN UNDERHAND FLIP WHERE IT SUDDENLY JUST SEEMS LIKE THEY’RE THROWING A KNUCKLEBALL THAT SOMEBODY WHO’S USED TO CATCHING A BALL THROWN WITH A HARD SPIRAL, LIKE, NOW NEEDS TO CATCH LIKE A SOFT EEPHUS AND TURN AND RUN WHILE THEY’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE, LIKE WHILE THEY’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF CHAOS.

IF YOU CAN DO IT GREAT, I JUST NEVER TRUST MY TEAM TO PULL IT OFF.

SO I HATE IT.

AT LEAST THAT’S A FEW CALLED PLAY, THOUGH.

THAT’S TRUE.

IMPROVISED LATERAL, I THINK, IS MINE JUST BECAUSE MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THE GUY WHO’S SUPPOSED TO BE RECEIVING IT DOES NOT KNOW IT’S ABOUT TO COME HIS WAY.

I AGREE.

I’M AGREEING.

I AGREE WITH YOU, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IF YOU’RE ALREADY HAVING A PLUS MOMENT WITH AN INTERCEPTION, YOU’RE LIKE, OH, MY GOD, WE JUST FLIPPED THE RHYTHM OF THIS GAME AND WE’RE GOING TO TAKE IT.

WE’RE NOT GOING TO SCORE ON THIS RETURN, BUT WE’RE GOING TO GRAB A BUNCH OF YARDAGE.

WE’RE GOING TO FLIP THE FIELDS.

AND WHAT A WHAT A MOMENT FOR OUR DEFENSE.

AND THEN THAT SAFETY SAYS, WHAT IF WE JUST KEEP IT GOING?

OKAY.

WHAT IF WE JUST GIVE THIS?

SPEAKING OF SPEAKING OF DEFENSIVE BACKS, OUR FINAL FIRST ROUND MATCH UP HERE, AND I PROMISE WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS VERY QUICKLY.

YEAH.

WE’VE GOT THE POST FIRST DOWN CELEBRATION BY A DEFENSIVE BACK VERSUS THE DEFENSIVE BACK MISSING ONE OF THOSE SHOULDER LAUNCH TACKLES INSTEAD OF DOING THE FUNDAMENTAL WRAP UP.

RIGHT.

SO ON ONE HAND, GUY JUST GOT A FIRST DOWN, BUT WE’RE GOING TO CELEBRATE ANYWAY.

ON THE OTHER, YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST WRAPPED HIM UP AND TACKLED HIM.

BUT INSTEAD, YOU GO TO SEE HER BOUNCES OFF.

YEAH, YOU TRY TO SPEAR HIM AND HE JUST BOUNCES OFF.

YOU LIKE IT’S NO BIG DEAL, RIGHT?

I THINK THE CELEBRATION IS THE ONE THAT GETS ME.

YEAH.

ONE IS ANNOYING ONES INFURIATING.

AND SO I THINK THIS CELEBRATION ONE IS MORE ANNOYING BECAUSE YOU COULD BE GIVING UP A TOUCHDOWN WHEN YOU COULD HAVE TACKLED HIM FOR, YOU KNOW, AN EIGHT YARD GAIN.

SO I’M GOING TO GO WITH THE ANNOYING ONE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT’S MORE IN THE SPIRIT OF THIS.

ALL RIGHT, BACK TO THE TOP.

DAN, IT’S GOING TO MOVE QUICK.

ALL RIGHT, YOU READY?

LIGHTNING.

YEP.

THE POINTLESS DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY VERSUS THROWING SHORT OF THE STICKS.

DRIVE KILLING PENALTY.

I AGREE.

THEN WE’VE GOT THE FOURTH DOWN GOAL LINE FOR DRIVE EXTENDING.

EXCUSE ME, DRIVE.

EXADE.

YEAH, GOAL LINE FADE ON FOURTH DOWN VERSUS TRYING TO DRAW A TEAM OFF SIDES.

THIS IS THE FADE, RIGHT?

IT’S FADE.

YEP.

AND THEN WE’VE GOT THE POINTLESS DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY VERSUS THE FOURTH DOWN GOAL LINE FADE PENALTY.

TO ME, IF YOU IF THIS IS A STRUGGLE FOR YOU, THEN YOU DON’T REMEMBER A RECENT INSTANCE IN WHICH A DEFENSIVE LINEMAN POINTLESSLY SHOVED A QUARTERBACK AFTER HE THREW IT SIX YARDS OVER SOMEBODY’S HEAD.

OKAY, LET’S GO FOR 15 YARDS AND THE TEAM SCORES.

I’LL GO WITH THE DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY.

IT IS INFURIATING.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, NEXT ONE. 480P VERSUS THE LED LIGHT SITUATION. 480P.

THE LIGHTS BLINKING GENERALLY ONLY HAPPENS AFTER TOUCHDOWNS OR BETWEEN LIKE THIRD AND FOURTH QUARTER DURING LIKE DIXIELAND DELIGHT. 480P IS AN ENTIRE GAME.

I AM SNOBBY.

I AM USED TO MY HIGH RESOLUTION BECAUSE IT ALSO GENERALLY IS PAIRED WITH DUBIOUS ANNOUNCING, BAD REPLAY.

YEAH, AND YOU JUST YOU CAN’T SEE AND THIS IS AGAIN.

THIS IS US BEING OLD, BUT IF YOU PAY FOR A GOOD TV, YOU WANT THE NETWORK TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR TV.

HERE’S A BROADCAST THAT FITS IN ACCORDINGLY.

WELL, AND THE PROBLEM WITH 480P ON A NICE TV IS THAT IT ALMOST MAKES IT WORSE.

OF COURSE, IT DOES.

YOU KNOW, 480P ON A 32 INCH TV IS FINE, BUT YOU BLOW THAT UP TO TWICE THE SIZE.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL LISTEN TO MORSE CODE.

YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANYTHING OUT OF THAT BROADCAST.

SO I THINK IT’S 480P.

I THINK 480P IS THE WINNER HERE.

I’M GLAD THAT WE PUT THE LED LIGHT SITUATION THROUGH AND CALLED THAT OUT FOR WHAT IT IS.

BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU CAN WATCH THE GAME.

YOU JUST CAN’T WATCH IT.

WELL, 480P MOVES THROUGH FOR ME.

I MEAN, I THINK THERE WAS A SEINFELD MOMENT LIKE THIS, BUT I THINK ABOUT LIKE HANDING A MARATHON OR HOT SOUP.

THAT’S RIGHT.

HE OR SHE IS ON MILE 18 DOMINATING.

YOU’RE LIKE, LOOK, IT TECHNICALLY.

YES, IS FUEL.

IT TECHNICALLY.

YES, IS A GAME.

BUT THIS WAS MEANT FOR SOMETHING GREATER.

I AGREE.

OKAY, MOMENT.

YEAH, NETWORKS NOT SHOWING AN OBVIOUS REPLAY VERSUS RULES.

ANALYSTS WHO HEDGE.

OBVIOUS REPLAY.

YOU THINK I DO.

ULTIMATELY, YOU LOSE MORE FROM NOT SEEING A MOMENT THAN THE RULES.

ANALYST IS NOT HOLDING ON THE ACTUAL GAME.

I GUESS NEITHER DOES MINE, BUT YEAH, I AGREE.

BUT CAN’T THE SAME LOGIC BE APPLIED TO THE RULES ANALYST AS THE CENTERS?

THE CENTERS WHO INFURIATE YOU BECAUSE IT CAN’T SNAP THE BALL ISN’T SNAPPING THE BALL PART OF THE JOB.

ISN’T TAKING A SIDE ON SOME OF THESE KEY GAME POINTS ALSO PART OF THE JOB FOR THE RULES ANALYST?

NO TEAM HAS LOST A GAME FOR A FAN BASE BECAUSE OF A RULES ANALYST BEING WRONG OR HEDGING.

NO TEAM IS LOST BECAUSE OF NOT SHOWING AN OBVIOUS REPLAY EITHER.

NO, BUT THAT IT I THINK IT AFFECTS IT MORE DIRECTLY AFFECTS ENJOYMENT WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

WHERE WHEREAS WITH A HEDGING PERSONALITY, IT’S JUST SORT OF AN ANNOYING MOMENT IN TIME, BUT DOESN’T AFFECT THE OUTCOME OR IT DOESN’T AFFECT YOUR APPRECIATION FOR WHAT’S HAPPENING ON THE FIELD TO ME.

ALL RIGHT, WE’LL GO WITH THE OBVIOUS REPLAY BECAUSE BOTH OF THESE BY THESE ARE BOTH MINE.

BOTH OF THESE REMIND THEY BOTH BOTHER ME.

I’M OKAY WITH EITHER ONE.

THE RULES ANALYST WHO HEDGE IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT MAY ONLY INTEREST ME.

THAT’S OKAY, BUT OKAY, SURE.

NOT SHOWING THE OBVIOUS REPLAY.

THAT’S THAT’S DEFINITELY IN THE CONVERSATION.

SO WE’LL PUT THAT ONE THROUGH AND THAT MEANS IT’S 480P VERSUS NETWORKS NOT SHOWING AN OBVIOUS REPLAY.

THIS IS 480 P RIGHT?

480 P.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

NEXT ONE PLAYERS THROWING PUNCHES AT HELMETED OPPONENTS VERSUS THE WRIGGLE AWAY.

I THINK WE GO WRIGGLE AWAY HERE.

DON’T I THINK I’M GOING WRIGGLE AWAY?

YEAH, THE WRIGGLE AWAY IS SO INFURIATING.

YEAH, THE MIDFIELD FOURTH AND SHORT PUNTS AND THE ANNOUNCERS APPLAUDING IT.

THIS IS A STRONG TO CONTINUE VERSUS THE BIZARRE TWO-POINT DECISION.

OH, THE FOURTH DOWN.

I THINK IT’S GOT TO BE FOURTH DOWN, RIGHT?

YEAH, BECAUSE IT SPEAKS TO A PHILOSOPHY.

YEAH, WHEREAS I THINK WEIRD A WEIRD FOURTH DOWN PLAY IS WEIRD AND MAYBE IT’S NOT CALLED AGAIN AND WE JUST ALL AGREE TO FORGET ABOUT IT.

BUT THE THE EXPERIENCE OF WATCHING IT AND THEN HAVING AN ANNOUNCER REINFORCE THE BAD DECISION.

YEAH, THE ANNOUNCER REINFORCING IT CHEERING IT ON IS I THINK THAT’S LIKE THAT’S THE KICKER HERE.

NO, WE’VE GOT OR MAYBE IT WAS WE’VE GOT THE WRIGGLE AWAY VERSUS THE FOURTH AND SHORT PUNT PLUS THE ANNOUNCER APPLAUDING IT.

OH, THIS IS TOUGH.

I THINK IT’S GOT TO BE THE THE PUNT SITUATION WITH THE ANNOUNCER CHEERING IT ON.

DON’T YOU I’M GOOD WITH THAT.

YEAH, I THINK IT’S GOT TO BE THE WRIGGLE AWAY DESERVES TO BE IN THIS MATCHUP.

THE VERY STRONG MATCHUP, BUT I GOT I GOT TO GO WITH THE THE MIDFIELD PUNT WITH THE ANNOUNCER KILLS ME EVERY TIME.

ALL RIGHT, FINAL BRACKET HERE.

THE CONSISTENTLY AWFUL SNAPPING YOUR NUMBER ONE OVERALL SEED VERSUS THE NEEDLESS REVERSAL OF FIELD OR BACKWARDS RUNNING WHICH ENDS UP IN A LOSS.

OH MAN, THIS IS REALLY TOUGH FOR ME.

POTENTIALLY A BACKBREAKER.

THESE ARE THESE WERE ALL OF YOURS HERE.

OKAY, SO INCONSISTENT SNAPPING VERSUS NEEDLESS REVERSAL OF FIELD.

YEAH.

I’M GOING TO SAY SNAPPING.

I THINK REAL CLOSE.

I THINK DOUBLE OT GOT TO BE SNAPPING RIGHT?

YEAH.

I LOVE THE SPECIFICITY OF THE REVERSAL OF FIELD THOUGH WITH THIS LIKE I FEEL LIKE THAT WAS PERFECT.

YOU KNOW, I’M PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK HERE.

I’LL TRY NOT TO THROW OUT MY WRIST.

WELL, HERE’S THE THING HERE.

HERE IS WHY THE INCONSISTENT SNAPPING NEEDS TO GO THROUGH HERE.

IT NEEDS TO GO THROUGH BECAUSE SOMETIMES WHEN A PLAYER REVERSES FIELD IT WORKS.

TRUE.

SOMETIMES IT WORKS FAMOUSLY SOME OF THE BEST PLAYS WE’VE SEEN IN THE HISTORY OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL HAVE COME AS A RESULT OF THAT DECISION.

SO THEY’RE NOT ALL BAD, BUT THE AWFUL SNAPPING THING.

YOU KNOW IT WHEN YOU SEE IT.

AND IT ALMOST NEVER WORKS OUT.

WELL, IT ALSO DOESN’T LIKE COURSE CORRECT OVER THE COURSE OF A GAME EXACTLY AND YOU CAN SEE IT HAPPENING.

I MEAN ANYONE WHO WATCHED ANY OF THE ALABAMA GAMES LAST YEAR RIGHT KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS AND IT’S LIKE YOU SEE THIS OCCURRING TIME AND AGAIN THROUGHOUT THE COURSE OF A GAME MORE OFTEN THAN NOT.

IT DOESN’T COME BACK TO BITE YOU BUT SOMETIMES IE LAST PLAY THE GAME TWO POINT CONVERSION ATTEMPT.

YOU JUST YOU CAN SEE THAT GETTING BIGGER IN THE WINDOW.

YEAH, AND IT’S THAT SORT OF FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM THAT PUTS THIS ONE THROUGH FOR ME.

OKAY, I’M THE SAME PAGE, BUT YEAH, IT WAS TOUGH FOR ME AND THE FINAL ONE HERE IS THE IMPROVISED LATERAL ON THE LONG RUN OR INTERCEPTION RETURN VERSUS THE POST FIRST DOWN DEFENSIVE BACK CELEBRATION.

IMPROVISE IMPROVISE ON THE SAME SPIRIT THOUGH, BUT THE IMPROVISED CAN WORK.

YOU CAN HAVE AN IMPROVISED LIKE HOOK AND LADDER.

OH, THAT’S TRUE.

THAT GETS YOU MORE YARDAGE GETS YOU SIGNIFICANTLY MORE YARDAGE GETS YOU A TOUCHDOWN LIKE IT CAN WORK.

IT HAS WORKED.

SO YOU WANT TO PUT THE DEFENSIVE BACK CELEBRATION THROUGH I’M GOING TO SAY A SAFETY COMING UP AND HITTING A RECEIVER WHO JUST CAUGHT A 24 YARD PASS FOR A FIRST TIME FOR A FIRST DOWN AND HAVING THE DB JUMP UP AND CELEBRATE HIS BIG TACKLE AFTER A BIG OFFENSIVE PLAY.

WOW, I THINK THAT FITS IT BETTER FOR ME BECAUSE I DON’T THINK THERE’S ANY POSITIVE FROM THAT POST FIRST DOWN DEFENSIVE BACK CELEBRATIONS WASN’T EVEN GOING TO BE IN THIS TOURNAMENT.

IT WENT ON AN NC STATE LIKE RUN.

YEAH, I MAKE IT THIS DEEP IN THE TOURNAMENT.

SO, UH, THE I THINK IT ENDS HERE THOUGH, BECAUSE THE DB CELEBRATION IS GOING UP AGAINST INCONSISTENT SNAPPING.

YEAH, SNAPPING.

I HAVE THAT MOVING FORWARD.

YEP, WHICH MEANS WE’VE GOT OUR FINAL FOUR ON THIS SIDE OF THE BRACKET.

I GUESS OVERALL THE ELITE EIGHT.

WE’VE GOT THE POINTLESS DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY VERSUS 480P BROADCASTS.

AND WE’VE ALSO GOT THE FOURTH DOWN PUNT SITUATION AT MIDFIELD WITH THE ANNOUNCERS APPLAUDING IT VERSUS AWFUL SNAPPING.

THAT’S YOUR LEASE ON THIS SIDE.

OKAY, I HAVE I HAVE PENALTY KILLING DRIVE STOP OVER 480P.

YOU CAN STILL WIN GAMES IN 480P.

YOUR TEAM CAN STILL WIN A GAME WITH LIKE WEIRD PIXELATED END ZONES.

YOU CAN STILL WIN A GAME WITH THE DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY.

YOU CAN, BUT IT DOES, BUT ANNOY THE CRAP OUT OF YOU AS A FAN.

I THINK YOUR EYES ADJUST AND I DON’T THINK THE BRAIN FORGETS A PENALTY KILLING OR A PENALTY EXTENDING DRIVE.

I WOULD AGREE WITH THAT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK BETWEEN THE MIDFIELD PUNT WITH THE ANNOUNCER APPLAUDING IT VERSUS THE CONSISTENTLY AWFUL SNAPPING?

YEAH, ONE IS ROOTED IN BROADCAST.

ONE IS ROOTED IN PLAYER.

THE FOURTH AND SHORT PUNT DRIVES ME UP.

I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY WHAT I’M THE WORDS.

IT DRIVES ME UP A TREE.

WHEN THOSE GUYS APPLAUD IT.

IT’S VERY INFURIATING.

THE AWFUL SNAPPING MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT MORE INNOCUOUS.

SO IF WE’RE DEFINING THIS BY WHICH MAKES OUR FEEL MORE, WHAT GETS OUR BRAIN RACING MY OUR HEARTS RACING OUR WHATEVER I THIS ONE IS TOUGH.

THIS IS TOUGH.

THIS IS A PICKUP.

WHAT IS THE SPIRIT OF THIS GAME?

I’M GOING TO SAY IT’S FOURTH DOWN.

I DON’T KNOW.

MAYBE IT’S A PERSONAL THING.

THE COMBINATION OF NOT GIVING AN OFFENSE A CHANCE TO KEEP GOING AND KEEP DOING GOOD THINGS.

IF THEY’VE GOTTEN TO MIDFIELD AND IT’S FOURTH AND SHORT AND THEN FEEL LIKE YOU’RE BEING GAS LIT BY THE BROADCAST RIGHT BOOTH.

THAT’S SEE AND THAT WAS GOING TO BE MY QUESTION THAT GAS LIGHTING WHICH IS A GREAT WAY TO PUT IT.

YEAH, IF IF THIS WERE JUST A FOURTH DOWN AND SHORT PUNT FROM MIDFIELD ON ITS OWN WITHOUT THE ANNOUNCER CHIMING IN WOULD THIS HAVE GONE AS FAR?

PROBABLY NOT.

IT’S THAT COMBINATION THAT ONE TO THAT COMBO SPECIFIC COMBO.

I THINK I AGREE WITH YOU AND AND THERE’S THE SOMETHING ABOUT THE CENTER NOT SNAPPING IT CONSISTENTLY.

WELL OR CONSISTENTLY SCREWING IT UP WHERE THERE’S AT LEAST SOMETHING SYMPATHETIC ABOUT THAT WHERE USUALLY THIS GUY IS FINE, BUT FOR WHATEVER REASON TODAY HE’S JUST OFF AND CAN’T FIGURE IT OUT.

HE JUST IT’S GOT YOU REMOVE YOUR GOT THE IF YOU IF YOU REMOVE YOUR FANDOM, THEN AT LEAST AS A HUMAN, YOU CAN SAY THAT SUCKS.

I FEEL BAD NOW.

THAT’S A BIG IF IF YOU CAN READ A FAN, I HAVE I HAVE SOME.

I HAVE SOME MOMENTS WHERE I’M NOT GOING TO REMOVE MY FANDOM, BUT AT LEAST THAT’S A KID NOT BEING ABLE TO GET THROUGH IT.

I’M GOING TO GO WITH THAT’S A LITTLE BIT MORE SYMPATHETIC.

I’M GOING TO GO WITH FOURTH AND ONE NOT GOING FOR AN ADULT NOT GOING FOR IT.

ADULTS IN THE BOOTH SAYING I LOVE IT.

I LOVE THIS PUNT CHOICE.

ALL RIGHT, SO IT’S FOURTH AND ONE ON THE FIFTY.

I DECIDE TO PUNT IT AND THE ANNOUNCERS CHEER ON MY DECISION VERSUS THE POINTLESS DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY.

THAT IS THAT IS FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP ON OUR TWO SIDES OF THE BRACKET.

SO THIS IS OUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.

THIS IS JUST ON OUR SIDE OF THINGS.

NOW WE’RE HOPEFUL.

WE’RE HOPEFUL THAT THE VERBAL OR HOOD WILL CHIME IN WITH ITS TWO CENTS.

RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.

OKAY.

THIS IS THIS EPISODE’S CHAMPIONSHIP.

YEAH, AND GIVE US THIRTY TWO MORE ITEMS THAT WE CAN ROLL WITH ON OUR NEXT EPISODE.

BUT ON THIS SIDE OF THE BRACKET POINTLESS DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY VERSUS THE MIDFIELD PUNT SITUATION WITH THE CHEERFUL ANNOUNCER.

THIS IS TOUGH.

THIS IS REALLY TOUGH.

OKAY, SO LOOK, I COULD APPLY THE SAME LOGIC, YOU KNOW, BEING SYMPATHETIC ABOUT THE CENTER TO SAYING, YOU KNOW, THIS ADDRESS OR SHOVING A QUARTERBACK AND GETTING LIKE A TOTALLY POINTLESS.

YEAH, ROUGHING THE PASSER IS A JUST A YOUTHFUL MISTAKE AND IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN IN THAT GAME.

SO IT’S NOT A CONSISTENT THING LIKE THE SNAPPING AND YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT’LL GET HE’LL GET CHEWED OUT BY A POSITION COACH OR A HEAD COACH OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT FOR A BRUTAL MISTAKE.

THAT SAID, THE VISUAL YEAH OF MAYBE NOT EVEN SEEING IT HAPPEN RIGHT.

MAYBE YOU’RE YOU’RE REALLY HOPING YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY REALLY HOPING WHEN YOU’RE ROOTING FOR A DEFENSE THAT YOU’RE ABLE TO GET A STOP AND GET OFF THE FIELD.

THIRD AND SIXTEEN, YOU’RE PUMPED THAT YOUR TEAM GOT TO GOT THIS OFFENSE TO A TOUGH SPOT AND ALL YOU SEE ON TV IS THE BAD THROW AND YOU DON’T ACTUALLY SEE THE SHOVE.

AND THEN THE ANNOUNCER SAY WAIT, LOOKS LIKE THERE’S SOME LAUNDRY IN THE BACKFIELD.

AND IT’S THE IDEA THAT THIS IS BRINGING YOU DOWN FROM A HIGH.

CAN YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE MCDONOUGH LAUNDRY IN THE BACKFIELD?

RIGHT RIGHT LOOKS LIKE THERE’S A FLAG ON THE WAY THAT THE PROCESS OF EXCITEMENT AND THEN THAT BLENDING INTO RAGE.

I THINK PENALTY EXTENDING PERSONAL FOUL OR A DRIVE EXTENDING PERSONAL FOUL IS THE THING THAT DEFINES MY GRIEVANCE WITH THE SPORT.

I REALLY DO.

I THINK THAT’S WHAT I HAVE MOVING ON.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I’M TEMPTED TO GO FORTH AND SHORT ON THE PUNTING SITUATION BECAUSE YOU KNOW, WE DEFINE THIS BRACKET AS MINOR GRIEVANCES.

TRUE.

MINOR GRIEVANCES.

SO MINOR GRIEVANCES AREN’T NECESSARILY THINGS THAT COST A GAME.

BUT IN BOTH CASES NOW THE ITEMS THAT HAVE MADE IT THROUGH CAN COST GAMES.

THE DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY CAN COST A TEAM A GAME.

AND THEN LASTLY BEING VERY RISK AVERSE AND PUNTING IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU COULD GO FOR IT AND PROBABLY MAKE IT 85% OF THE TIME.

THAT IS ALSO ANOTHER SITUATION THAT CAN COST YOU A GAME.

I THINK THE ADDED COMPONENT OF THE ANNOUNCER APPLAUDING IT.

THE ANNOUNCER CHEERING THIS ON AS IF YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS AS YOU’RE WATCHING AT HOME.

RIGHT.

IF NOT IN THE MOMENT.

THESE TYPES OF SCENARIOS DON’T OCCUR FOURTH QUARTER WITH TWO MINUTES LEFT.

THEY OCCUR FIRST QUARTER WITH LIKE EIGHT AND A HALF MINUTES LEFT.

THEY OCCUR IN THE FIRST HALF WHEN THE GAME IS TIED AT ZERO AND IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THERE’S A WHOLE LOT ON THE LINE.

YEAH.

IN EVERY SITUATION THIS IS ANNOYING.

IT IS ANNOYING AND PROBABLY MORE OFTEN THAN NOT IT DOES NOT COME BACK TO BITE THE OFFENDING TEAM.

THE FACT THAT THE ANNOUNCER CHEERS IT ON AND ACTS AS IF HEY IF YOU’RE WATCHING AT HOME YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS.

THAT TO ME I THINK PUTS THIS ONE OVER THE TOP.

YEAH AND IT CAN HAPPEN MULTIPLE TIMES.

AND I SUPPOSE A DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY CAN HAPPEN MULTIPLE TIMES.

BUT USUALLY NOT WITH THE SAME PLAYER AND USUALLY NOT LIKE IN THE SAME WAY.

THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT A TEAM LOSING BY FOUR AND THEN YOU GO BACK AND LOOK AT THEIR DRIVES.

AND THEY KICK IT THEY PUNT ON FOURTH AND TWO AT YOU KNOW IN PLUS TERRITORY ON THEIR OPPONENTS 47.

OR THEN THEY GO FOR A FIELD GOAL ON YOU KNOW FOURTH AND GOAL FROM THE HALF INCH LINE.

AND LIKE THERE ARE THERE IS THAT SORT OF AGGREGATION OF CONSERVATIVE THINKING IN BIG MOMENTS THAT CAN LOSE YOU A GAME.

YEAH.

AND I THINK I THINK THAT’S THE THING HERE.

YOU KNOW IF WE’RE TRYING TO STAY TRUE TO THE ROOTS OF THIS WHOLE CONCEPT A DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY.

YOU’LL THROW THE REMOTE AT THE TV FOR THAT.

YOU PROBABLY AREN’T THROWING THE REMOTE AT THE TV FOR THE FOURTH AND SHORT PUNT SITUATION WITH THE ANNOUNCER APPLAUDING IT.

BUT YOU ARE ROLLING YOUR EYES.

AND SO I THINK IN THAT IN THAT LOGIC ALONE I PUT THROUGH THE MIDFIELD PUNT WITH THE ANNOUNCER APPLAUDING IT.

YOU CAN AGGREGATE OVER THE COURSE OF A SEASON YOU AND THERE’S A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF HOPELESSNESS YOU CAN FEEL IF IT’S BEEN HAPPENING FOR NINE GAMES IN A ROW AND YOUR HEAD COACH HASN’T LEARNED AND YOU KEEP LOSING CLOSE OR YOU KEEP HAVING TO WIN CLOSE IN GAMES THAT ARE FREAKING YOU OUT AGAINST BAD TEAMS.

THERE’S THAT LACK OF WHEN THE COACH DOESN’T HAVE CONFIDENCE IN AN OFFENSE.

IT’S SORT OF IT JUST BRINGS EVERYTHING DOWN SPIRIT WISE.

SO I THINK I THINK I’M CONVINCED.

I THINK I’M CONVINCED THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST TIME I’VE EVER WON AN ARGUMENT AGAINST YOU.

BUT I MEAN NOT AN ARGUMENT.

BOTH OF THESE WERE MY ITEMS A DEBATE A DEBATE A DEBATE.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

NO, YOU’RE GOOD.

I THINK YOU I THINK YOU SWAYED ME THAT THERE IS THAT ELEMENT OF YEAH THE THE BROADCASTERS TEAMING UP WITH IT’S LIKE THIS OLD WAY OF THINKING THERE ARE MOMENTS WHERE PUNTING MATT MAKES SENSE FOR MIDFIELD ONCE AGAIN.

BUT YEAH, THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE GOING CRAZY BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR TEAM SHOULD GO FOR IT ON FOURTH AND TWO FROM THE THIRTY NINE LIKE THE OPPONENTS THIRTY NINE.

YEAH, YEAH.

WELL, WE HAVE THE BEST PUNTER IN THE ACC.

I’M LIKE WELL, COOL.

YEAH, YOU’RE ALSO SEVEN AND FIVE AND GOING TO THE MONKEY CAR CARE BALL.

CONGRATULATIONS, EXACTLY RIGHT.

MIND TO KEY CAR CARE, NOT A SPONSOR.

YEAH, IT’S IT’S THOSE MOMENTS RIGHT.

YOU’RE LOSING WINNABLE GAMES WHEN YOU START THINKING FIELD POSITION AND UNLESS YOU HAVE NO OFFENSE AND THE TEAM YOU’RE PLAYING AGAINST HAS NO OFFENSE AND THAT WILL HAPPEN, ESPECIALLY IN THE BIG TEN WEST, WHATEVER WAS THE BIG TEN WEST.

BUT OUTSIDE OF THAT, I THINK YOU GOT TO GIVE YOURSELF A SHOT AND THERE IS THAT HOPELESSNESS THAT COMES WITH LIKE BEING A FIELD POSITION TEAM.

MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THE DRIVE EXTENDING PENALTY IS AN ACT OF AGGRESSION.

IT’S AN ACT OF AGGRESSION.

THIS IS JUST ANNOYINGLY PASSIVE.

AND THAT’S WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST ABOUT IT.

ALL RIGHT, SAME PAGE.

SO WE’VE GOT OUR PUNTS FROM MIDFIELD AND THE ANNOUNCERS APPLAUDING IT OR THE FOURTH AND SHORT INCONCEIVABLE PUNT WITH THE ANNOUNCER APPLAUDING IT MAKING IT THROUGH ON OUR SIDE OF THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL MINOR GRIEVANCES BRACKET.

YEAH, WHICH WERE SORT OF MEDIUM GRIEVANCE MEDIUM GRIEVANCE MORE THAN THAT.

BUT YEAH, SOLID VERBAL AT GMAIL.COM IS THE EMAIL.

SEND US YOUR LISTS.

I PROMISE I WILL GO THROUGH THEM EITHER VIA THE EMAIL OR ACROSS SOCIAL MEDIA SNAIL MAIL.

PROBABLY WON’T GET HERE IN TIME.

OTHERWISE, I WOULD OFFER THAT UP AS A SOLUTION.

BUT IF YOU WANT TIES ADDRESS, JUST DROP IT IN THE MAILBOX.

DROP IT IN THE MAILBOX.

SURE.

YEAH, JUST ADDRESS IT.

SOLID VERBAL.

THEY’LL KNOW WHERE TO SEND IT.

YEAH, RIGHT IN WE WANT TO GET YOUR OPTIONS HERE.

I’M SURE THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT WE LEFT OUT.

WE WILL BRACKET THEM INTO A SEPARATE GROUPING OF 32 TEAMS 32 ITEMS.

THAT IS YOUR HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT.

I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T HAVE AN ITEM THAT YOU CAME UP WITH WHICH WAS LIKE 10 MEN ON THE FIELD WHEN YOUR DEFENSE HAS A HUGE MOMENT.

OKAY.

MAYBE THAT’S TOO MAJOR.

SO CLOSE TO THE BARREL AND DAN TOO CLOSE TO THE BONE.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

MORE TO COME ON THIS FRONT IN THE SPIRIT OF MARCH MADNESS.

SEND IN YOUR THOUGHTS FOR THAT GUY WAY OVER THERE.

MY GOOD FRIEND DAN RUBENSTEIN FOR MYSELF.

TY HILDENBRANDT STILL HERE HOME BASE EASTERN PENNSYLVANIA.

WE WILL TALK TO YOU ALL SOON.

SEND US YOUR SUGGESTIONS UNTIL NEXT TIME.

STAY SOLID.

PEACE.

YOU. (UPBEAT MUSIC)

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