The Biggest Needs for College Football’s Best Teams in the 2022 Offseason

January 14, 2022

After the glorious fever dream that was the 2021 college football season, every major program is looking to ascend like the Georgia Bulldogs. Here’s what the nation’s top 10 teams must do this offseason to delude its fans into believing it will be next year’s breakthrough champion. 10. Oklahoma Construct a large barricade around the Transfer Portal Lincoln Riley took everything that wasn’t nailed down with him to USC, like a hotel guest collecting tiny soaps for sport. To make matters worse, both Caleb Williams and Mario Williams look to be headed out west as well. At this rate, Brent . . .

Stunningly Surprising Squads from the 2021 College Football Season

January 12, 2022

Every college football season, there are teams that exceed, and others that fall well short of preseason expectations. Some are far more surprising than others. In this crazy season of ups and downs, full of top ten teams falling left and right, there were plenty of surprises. But which squads surprised us the most, and where are those programs headed in the near future? Let’s dive in. Good Surprises Georgia Preseason Consensus Projected Win Total: 10.5 Actual Win Total: 14 and the National Championship Victory It took 40+ years, but Georgia finally won another National Championship. They dominated the entire . . .

Lessons to Teach Your Kids from the Alabama vs. Georgia National Championship

January 7, 2022

So you’ve decided to bring a child into this world. Bold. It’s never too early to expose your little one to the bitter disappointment of adulthood. And hey, since you’re already planning on indoctrinating them into the borderline cult that is college football fandom, why not start there? Here are six crucial lessons from this year’s National Championship to teach your kids, whether they’re ready to learn them or not. 1. The importance of patience Georgia winning a National Championship after 40 agonizing years of “almost” would be definitive proof that patience pays off. Meanwhile, winning 12 games with an . . .

How to Watch the College Football Championship Game

January 6, 2022

Well folks, we made it. Another season of college football nearly in the books. The only thing left is to determine one true champion. If y’all endured the grind of two absurdly boring New Year’s Six games, or (hopefully) just caught the highlights, you already know who’s playing. Alabama bested Cincinnati, impressing on the viewing public that they were just bigger, stronger, and better. The Bearcats tried their best, and good on them for making it to the Playoff. A number of years ago, I said a Group of 5 Playoff berth was an impossibility in the current system. But . . .

Sneaky Stats for the College Football Playoff National Championship Game

January 5, 2022

Welcome to the final Sneaky Stats column of the 2021 college football season! Michigan finally ended their season in embarrassing fashion like they usually do. Cincinnati was politely shown the door by Alabama’s clearly superior athletes. More semifinal blowouts and the furthest thing from drama. But now, we get a rematch between Jedi Master and Padawan, sensei and grasshopper, student and teacher, whatever cliche your heart desires! Nick Saban and his former assistant coach-turned-fearsome nemesis, Kirby Smart, face off for a fifth time, and for the second time in the last month or so. This should be a fantastic matchup . . .

Why You, a College Football Fan, Will Fail Your New Year’s Resolutions

December 31, 2021

It doesn’t always seem like it, but it’s true — college football fans are people too. Yes, even these depraved masochists are entitled to an opportunity to improve themselves, and there’s no better time to do so than the New Year. Unfortunately, the deck is sort of stacked against them. Let’s run through the five most common New Year’s resolutions and analyze why you, a college football fan, are simply doomed to never achieve them. 1. Lose weight As they say, weight loss is simple, not easy. That’s especially true for college football fans, who need to have some brutally . . .

What Bowl Games Are On TV This Week? (12/30-1/4)

December 30, 2021

Yo, yo, and hello college football fans. Hope you had a marvelous Christmas/Hannukah/Diwali/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice! Normally I start things off here with some meditative intro about the week’s games or life in general, but we’ve got a schedule to keep, and a ton of games to preview, so we’re gonna get right into it! Peach Bowl Pitt @ Michigan State (Thu 12/30, 7p/6p, ESPN) should still be fun even if there’s a bunch of notable opt-outs like the Panthers’ gunslinger Kenny Pickett and zoomy Spartan Kenneth Walker III. Pitt still has a formidable offense, and MSU absolutely sucks at pass defense, . . .

Sneaky Stats for New Year’s Six Bowls and the College Football Playoff

December 29, 2021

Welcome back to the Sneaky Stats series! We’re somehow already turning the page to the final chapter(s) of the 2021 college football season. Conference Championship games have been won. The College Football Playoff field is set. Another Alabama player has won the Heisman. Several Bowl Games are already in the books. But there are still plenty of fun matchups to dive into here in Bowl season, including the New Year’s Six games and the Playoffs! Let’s check out some sneaky stats that could be the difference in this final round of bowl games! 113th After tumultuous 2021 campaigns for both . . .

The Best College Football Bowl Game Gifts This Holiday Season

December 24, 2021

Each December, America’s favorite megacorporations dole out gifts to college football players participating in bowl games. Obviously, the holidays aren’t just about presents, but nothing says “Thanks, real sorry you missed Christmas with your family and got all those concussions” quite like a bluetooth speaker. In honor of that Christmas spirit, we’ve highlighted the most thoughtful game gifts for the remainder of bowl season. EasyPost Hawai’i Bowl: Hawai’i vs Memphis Swim trunks and Oakley sunglasses A little-known fact about the Hawai’i bowl: following the game’s conclusion, the losing team’s staff and players are forced to swim back to the mainland. . . .