Sneaky Stats for Week 9 of the 2021 College Football Season

October 26, 2021

Welcome to back to the Sneaky Stats series! Week 8 brought us a new record for overtimes in a single game, two more top ten losses, behemoth programs struggling to beat their cupcakes, and more! Let’s take a brief look back, and then a look ahead at Week 9 and beyond! Week 8 – Unless you have been living under a rock bigger than Bret Bielema himself, you may have heard that Illinois beat Penn State in a college football record 9 overtimes! And yes, that was pretty crazy. But even crazier was that Illinois completed eight passes for 38 . . .

LSU’s Ed Orgeron Experiment: A Systematic Review

October 22, 2021

Firing of college football coaches linked to being gross, also not being particularly good at coaching Hohulin B., Certified Dummy, Solid Verbal Research Institute Abstract College football coaches (totus clipboardus) are a highly sought-after genus of organisms in the American deep South. Louisiana State University, a thriving colony of swamp people located in the bayous of the Southeastern Conference, regularly hunts the totus clipboardus for its fleshy hides and occasional ability to attract national championships. This meta-analysis examines the performance of Ed Orgeron (geauxtigahs eatjambalayas) as chieftain in Louisiana’s Death Valley region. Introduction In 2007, LSU attained a championship with . . .

What College Football Games Are On TV? Week 8 (10/23)

October 21, 2021

“May you live in interesting times.” The supposed Chinese curse, made famous by orator Joseph Chamberlain, speaks a truth we somehow only grasp when times are actually interesting. And by interesting, I, of course, mean unsettled, shambolic, and chaotic. When there’s nothing but hurricanes, all anyone wants is a clear day. But too often, when we get a day with little to do, we get busy filling free time with anything else to occupy ourselves. Human beings are by nature a restless lot. We don’t like sitting still. So we create activity for ourselves even where there’s opportunity for rest. . . .

Sneaky Stats for Week 8 of the 2021 College Football Season

October 19, 2021

Welcome to back to the Sneaky Stats series! Week 7 brought us a new Heisman candidate, another loss from a top ten team, and plenty of sneaky stats to break down! Let’s take a brief look back, and then a look ahead at Week 8 and beyond! Week 7 – It may still be a small sample of play, but Caleb Williams looked like the absolute truth for Oklahoma this weekend in the Sooners’ win over TCU this past week. Through one start and 77 total plays for Williams, the Sooners are 57.9% more efficient in terms of yards per . . .

How to Solve Your Quarterback Controversy (Even if You Don’t Have One)

October 15, 2021

After six weeks of college football, we’re finally getting some answers to the questions that have perplexed us all season. However, some teams still haven’t circled a response to arguably the most important question in the game — who is your quarterback? Unlike the majority of problems in college football, quarterback controversies aren’t deeply entrenched systematic issues with little hope of resolution. That’s why we’ve assembled 10 sure-fire tips guaranteed to settle your own troubles under center once and for all. Tip #1: Embrace the Inevitable But I don’t have a quarterback controversy. Yet. You don’t have a quarterback controversy . . .

What College Football Games Are On TV? Week 7 (10/16)

October 14, 2021

This past weekend, I moved. I won’t tell you where, for fear of my countless fans beating down my door for an autograph. Taking your life and planting it somewhere else is difficult for a myriad of reasons. But I’ve moved eight times in the last seven years, so you can consider me an expert. After years of practice, I have the packing down to a science at least. I’ve become really good at taking oddly-shaped household items and making them fit, Tetris-style, in a Bankers’ Box. And I’m even better at unpacking and rearranging things once I arrive at . . .

Sneaky Stats for Week 7 of the 2021 College Football Season

October 12, 2021

Welcome to back to the Sneaky Stats series! Week 6 gave us David defeating Goliath, an entire Texas football season condensed into one game, and so many fun matchups. Let’s take a brief look back, and then a look ahead at Week 7 and beyond! Week 6 – So, obviously the entire world (outside of Crimson Tide fans) rejoiced with Alabama’s loss to Texas A&M this past weekend. And yes, as it’s been said already, virtually every Saban winning streak in existence was snapped, but those aren’t the craziest stats. Alabama outgained Texas A&M in total yards (by 143), the . . .

Introducing PLAYOFFOLY, the College Football Board Game

October 8, 2021

Dearest Player, Thank you for purchasing this copy of Playoffoly, college football’s most beloved board game since 2014. While I’m sure you and your friends are eager to dive into the fast-paced world of trading poll spots and earning national recognition, it’s important you understand the rules first. Just put yourself in the shoes of your favorite “amateur athlete.” Before they can brutalize their body for your amusement and drive immense profits for a massive institution, they, too, must first be a student. P.S. Keep an eye out for Playoffoly: Expanded Edition! Challenge your friends with even more ways to . . .

What College Football Games Are On TV? Week 6 (10/9)

October 7, 2021

Wow, last week was something, huh? But as Cage the Elephant reminded us over a decade ago, there ain’t no rest for the wicked. (Or for college football fans in fall.) This weekend, we have a blockbuster schedule of incredible games. I hope (like Lane Kiffin) you have your popcorn ready. We’ve reached the season’s midpoint. Much has been made clear. Aside from Georgia and Alabama (kinda), the entire college football landscape is the equivalent of this GIF. Chaos is fun in sports. No one knows anything about what’ll happen. But it creates a dilemma for the college football fan. . . .