Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Stiller, brief UCLA attendee. Fockers aside, I’ll still watch Zoolander whenever/wherever.

*****

• LSU OC Steve Kragthorpe is stepping down as LSU’s offensive coordinator, but will continue to coach QBs after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. This is awful. The absolute best to him and his.

The first USA Today Coaches’ Poll is out. You can’t imagine how much it means. Mostly because it means nothing.

Parlazed Rutgers DL Eric LeGrand spoke to SportsCenter about his recovery. Always awesome.

• The B1G will go to nine conference games in 2017. Let’s all take a moment to remember Eastern Michigan.

• Texas WR Malcolm WIlliams is leaving the Longhorns.

• Butch Davis offered a UNC scholarship (written) to his QB son Drew before he got let go. Naturally, UNC chancellor Holden Thorp committed an NCAA violation talking about how mad it made him.

• UNC DL Brandon Willis just likes the road, man.

• Purdue has new, über plain uniforms. About right.

Four Big East teams open camp today. ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has quick hitters.

She does the same for BYU, which I have taken to phonetically pronouncing “Bayou” out loud just to spice things up.

• The Iron Bowl is being used to arrest deadbeat dads (complete with a fun soundtrack!). Really.

• Rivals has DL rankings. SALTINESS ABOUND.

• Auburn may utilize a redshirt freshman RB who checks in around three bills. DO IT.

• SI.com contributor George Schroeder examines Larry Scott’s ability to further expand the Pac-12.

• South Carolina isn’t down with the Twitter. #SadTweet is a real thing.

• Dr Saturday‘s Pac-12 Week continues with the Oregon schools and hot seats. #SadNeuFace

Trans-conference robbery is a real thing!

• USC practice opened up last night. We could be setting our watches to Baxter Time for at least a few quarters, at which point he’ll probably just wander off somewhere.

• Rivals has a Big East preview. Where have I seen this before? That’s right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dude traveling the world, six frames at a time.

Enjoy your Friday. Shirts increasing in volume next week, buy now to tell your friends you bought when it was cool.

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