Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Duke graduate Retta, who drives (easily) the best car on Parks and Recreation. We forgive her for her Blue Devil-dom.

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No Big 12 proprietary networks can broadcast high school games for a year. Hear that, Cyclone Network? Exactly.

• South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia is officially back. No party is safe.

It’s been too long without an EDSBS Fulmer Cupdate. Now it’s been like three seconds.

• The Big 12 has enough receivers to rank the best ten. Garrett Gilbert has some ‘splaining to do.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa‘s Heisman campaign (including branded dumbbells!) starts now. Or when his shredded achilles fully heals, whichever comes first… and then it starts!!!!

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has a Clemson preview. I had big expectations for this one after starting out strong, but it faded pretty quickly.

Media members ate well at Big East media day. Whew.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney profiles Louisville RB Victor Anderson, he of “What ever happened to Victor Anderson” fame.

The most uncomfortable media day hundred seconds of your day now exist. I got through about 31 seconds.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday has begun Pac-12 week in the Grand Canyon State.

• Maryland‘s going to have new uniforms. Calling it now — camo turtle print.

• Smart Football has highlights, clips, and insights from Mike Leach’s “Swing your Sword.”

• Rivals ranks backfields. The top two are way out west where they don’t even know how to play REAL football.

• Rivals has a Michigan State preview, which features the dreamy Kirk Cousins. (SNAP OUT OF IT RUBENSTEIN)

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Today’s Video of the Day is your introduction to Chief Shark Officer Andy Samberg. Backflip!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8zdCHp8P9Q

Enjoy your Tuesday. Commerce!

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