Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney, who, in an elaborate rouse, may be systematically taking down the Big Ten. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
• Maryland OC James Franklin should soon become Vanderbilt’s next head coach. Adjust your day accordingly.
• More on the Big Ten’s outstanding PR Monday. I’m still confused as to which division is “Grandpa” and which is “Grandma.”
• After winning the Heisman, Auburn QB Cam Newton took his talents to the Ed Sullivan Theater and presented Letterman’s Top Ten list.
• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is officially staying put. And for his efforts, he’s getting a little something extra.
• Texas RB coach Major Applewhite will not be coaching at Florida this season. Unless, of course, he is. Which he isn’t.
• Nobody knows what’s going on with Bill Stewart and West Virginia. One thing is certain though — Jack Bogaczyk’s byline picture is way too big.
• The Meineke Car Care Bowl will become the Belk Bowl next year. I don’t know what “Belk” is, so I’ll just assume Charlotte’s bowl is being sponsored by the underside of a pygmy horse.
• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall ranks the new coaching hires. And then it just spins off into a frantic rhyming nightmare, per usual.
• SI.com’s Andy Staples does much of the same, but his column includes new Miami coach Al Golden standing next to Sebastian, Miami’s mascot — and they don’t look entirely unlike each other. I like it.
• How Florida AD Jeremy Foley convinced Will Muschamp to come to Gainesville. So. Many. Wristbands.
Today’s Video of the Day is a guy doing everything better than I can. This is what “cool” is.
Enjoy your Tuesday.