Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney, who, in an elaborate rouse, may be systematically taking down the Big Ten. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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• Maryland OC James Franklin should soon become Vanderbilt’s next head coach. Adjust your day accordingly.

More on the Big Ten’s outstanding PR Monday. I’m still confused as to which division is “Grandpa” and which is “Grandma.”

After winning the Heisman, Auburn QB Cam Newton took his talents to the Ed Sullivan Theater and presented Letterman’s Top Ten list.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is officially staying put. And for his efforts, he’s getting a little something extra.

• Iowa suspended RB Adam Robinson. Oh, and RB Jewel Hampton has decided to transfer. One more thing — everybody in Iowa City may be a drug enthusiast. DEVELOPING

• Texas RB coach Major Applewhite will not be coaching at Florida this season. Unless, of course, he is. Which he isn’t.

Nobody knows what’s going on with Bill Stewart and West Virginia. One thing is certain though — Jack Bogaczyk’s byline picture is way too big.

• The Meineke Car Care Bowl will become the Belk Bowl next year. I don’t know what “Belk” is, so I’ll just assume Charlotte’s bowl is being sponsored by the underside of a pygmy horse.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall ranks the new coaching hires. And then it just spins off into a frantic rhyming nightmare, per usual.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples does much of the same, but his column includes new Miami coach Al Golden standing next to Sebastian, Miami’s mascot — and they don’t look entirely unlike each other. I like it.

• How Florida AD Jeremy Foley convinced Will Muschamp to come to Gainesville. So. Many. Wristbands.

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Today’s Video of the Day is a guy doing everything better than I can. This is what “cool” is.

Enjoy your Tuesday.