Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Clay Davis, fictional corrupt state senator. He shares a name with Wisconsin RB John Clay, who is not a fictional corrupt state senator, but merely a bruising back with knee issues. You’re welcome for the clarification.

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• Kenny Rogers, the alleged agent provocateur to the Newton family, was on the radio yesterday explaining how it all allegedly went down between Cecil Newton (father of Auburn QB Cam Newton) and Mississippi State. I like it when radio interviews are damning, but I really wish the hosts would talk old-fashioney more during these things. “Now see here, fella, I’m telling you the truth, I say!”

EDSBS has a simple map to help you understand the Cam Newton situation. If you read between the lines, even the Fig Newton family is implicated. Comedy!!

• UConn beat Pitt last night. If you think there’s any story here beyond UConn RB Jordan Todman piling up 222 yards, you’re pretty much lying.

Ok, this was also relevant (via 30fps)

• Florida State QB Christian Ponder is questionable for tomorrow’s game against Clemson due to an elbow injury.

Tomorrow isn’t looking very likely for Wisconsin RB John Clay.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor announced that he’ll be back for his senior year and, in addition, he won’t be playing basketball. On the contrary, I will be playing basketball. For my average rec-league team. Who’s the real man now? Exactly.

Former UNC WR Hakeem Nicks, among others (including former Maryland TE Vernon Davis) are said to have provided improper benefits to student athletes. Vernon Davis may have given, wait for it, up to $20 to somebody. When it rains, it, uh, drizzles lightly.

• Florida will continue to play their three-headed QB monster tomorrow against South Carolina. Well, not monster, how about three-headed shady dude?

A touted JUCO DL recruit de-committed from Missouri and will go to USC because he believes he can be good enough after a year to go to the NFL. Dude must be getting crazy good grades.

• Former Colorado coach Gary Barnett questions the Buffs’ commitment to excellence. Nobody, however, questions Barnett’s commitment to letting a program spiral completely out of control under his watch.

• WhatIfSports runs simulations on this weekend’s games.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers reader mail. And dismisses the haters. Honestly, it’s SportsWriting 101 — never step to Mandel. EVER.

The broadcast assignments for the BCS games have been released. Man, I can wait for the Fiesta Bowl.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd argues that, in college football, cheating works. I’m still trying to figure out if he’s breaking new ground here.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall explains the rise and success of TCU. I don’t know if it’s more or less credible due to Hall never mentioning that crotchety (and hilarious) golf writer Dan Jenkins is giant TCU fan.

• CNN has some sort of list of popular tailgating locations. It’s ok, I suppose, but couldn’t they have done this on a giant, unnecessary touch screen?

Finally, a guy in Kentucky was forced to eat his own beard. Not “finally,” like I’ve been waiting for this, just that this is the last story I’m posting today. Ok, so maybe I’ve been waiting for this to happen.

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Today’s Video of the Day is “My Name is Jonas” by Weezer (live at the Warped Tour). I don’t know why, but it just feels like the right day for a nerdy bowl cut.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0GpyONUAXg

Enjoy your Friday + College Football Saturday.