Today’s Chorus is brought to you by awful human being Ted Bundy, graduate of the University of Washington, a non-embarrassing academic institution.
• CBS cameras caught LSU coach Les Miles eating grass during the Alabama game. Apparently it wasn’t the first time. This singular act is why college football is light years beyond the NFL.
• This week’s BCS Standings are out. You know they’re legit when an exceedingly average Kansas State team checks in at #24.
• The Denver Post is reporting that Dan Hawkins job at Colorado is safe “for now.” It should be noted that a hacker installed a macro in the computers at The Denver Post that changes the words “absolute dust” to “safe.” Just for giggles.
• Penn State coach Joe Paterno won his 400th game. Word from State College, PA was that the coach celebrated quietly with family and a printout of the names and positions of his current starters. He’ll have it memorized by bowl time, damnit.
• Washington Athletic Director Scott Woodward watched his school lose AGAIN to Oregon, but took the time to call the academics at Oregon an embarrassment. And now a brief non-sanctioned Oregon rebuttal.
1. Woodward probably poops his pants all the time. I don’t know if this is true or not, but my subpar Oregon education never came with a manual explaining whether or not it’s ethical to imply who is and is not a Mr. Poopypants.
2. Woodward is the athletic director at Washington and has nothing to do with how good or bad Washington’s academics is or is not. Your revenue sports are (at best) average, your football stadium is dumpy, and you send out Jake Locker postcards. Congratulations.
• There was an exciting end to a game between two anonymous unranked teams.
• The Pac Twen announced its 2011 schedule. And you thought the next 23 seconds of your life would be uneventful. Ha!
• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel, in his weekly College Football Overtime column, implies that the SEC would be better served just shutting down football as a conference sport. Or it’s the usual column reviewing the week in college football. I can never tell.
• CBS Sports’s Eric Sorensen grids it up, giving awards to teams, people, and abstract concepts. Everyone will treasure these forever.
• CBS Sports’s Dr. Jerry Palm says the TCU-Boise State battle is “far from done.” Seriously, it’s in the title, why would I make that up?
• EDSBS has power rankings that go on distracted tangents quicker than … ooh I could go for an English muffin. How good are those nooks and crannies?
• LSUFreek has Nick Saban peeing in a bathroom next to a tiger. You may think he’s just putting Saban’s head into a scene from “The Hangover,” but really that’s exactly what’s going on. Kudos, Mr. College Education.
• Another Florida freshman may be in the doghouse. This one is DT Dominique Easley. He’ll either be the best Florida DT ever or will be off the team by December. There’s no in-between.
• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers have conference race updates. We at The Solid Verbal vehemently disagree with the notion that Texas is last in the Big 12 South, as Texas is still very much Texas.
*Note to Ty, if I knew how to autotune, I would produce no less than 17 electronic dance hits with you saying, “Texas is still Texas.” And the chorus would include, “speaking of pedophiles.”
Today’s Video of the Day is an outstanding trick play (via The Wiz).
Enjoy your Monday.