As part of SolidVerbal.com’s continued efforts to infuse your life with an obscene amount of college football randomness, we are pleased to introduce the Thursday Proverbs, a new spot with no format or function, but plenty of room to explore the studio space. Mainly because the Solid Verbal Allentown studio is my old bedroom.

Denard Robinson Heisman PoseThere’s an enormously popular song on the radio right now with Rihanna and Eminem. In it, Rihanna sticks to her standard boilerplate of singing a quick verse in exchange for, presumably, eleventy billion dollars. In the same song, Eminem also threatens to tie a woman to a bed and set a house on fire, which, for Eminem, feels about right. As far as I can tell, this song brings nothing new to the table. But they won’t stop playing it.

In college football, THAT song is Denard Robinson.  Metaphorically-speaking, of course.  The burning house is located in Chapel Hill.

It seems like we find ourselves in the same position every year.  There is always an overplayed storyline in the world of college sports, and here at The Solid Verbal, we couldn’t help but fall victim to it in 2010.  Last Thursday’s show was even titled in Denard’s honor.  But when a guy has over 1,900 total yards in only five games, we almost have no choice.

Regardless, the question remains: Just how good is Denard Robinson?  There seems to be plenty of debate among Verballers…

Regardless of where you stand, Robinson has been historically impressive thus far.  And while Mr. Robinson hasn’t exactly been playing against the ’85 Bears, it seems most telling that he’s maintained the same level of dominance every time he’s been on the field.  This isn’t debatable.  The only other player in the country about whom we can say the same might be Oregon’s LaMichael James.  Even preseason Heisman frontrunners like Terrelle Pryor and Ryan Mallett have had hiccups thus far.

Of course, this will all become irrelevant when Robinson snaps a leg… not from a gruesome hit, mind you, but from general atrophy, in Week 10.  Sooner or later, you’d have to assume it’ll happen.  Part of the intrigue about “Shoelace” is how Rich Rodriguez uses him, which bears a striking resemblance  to the way most people used QB Eagles in Tecmo Super Bowl.  He’s putting up video game numbers mainly because he’s being used like a video game superstar.  Unfortunately for Rich Rod, injuries in real-life don’t have a setting you can toggle and the difficulty level won’t stay on “varsity” all season long.

Saturday’s contest against in-state rival Michigan State should serve as a helpful barometer for gauging just how good Denard and his team really are.

Raucous E-mails We Won’t Have Time to Read

From Inge in North Carolina:

Hey guys, I am a big Finebaum listener on iTunes and was randomly
looking around for other college football podcasts. I saw The Solid
verbal on the podcast “menu” and decided to download ya’ll and give it
a shot. To my surprise, I loved your show. Both my parents are
graduates of the University of Alabama. I actually went to Auburn. So
Ty, I understand your Penn State/Notre Dame thing as I am and always
have been a huge Alabama fan despite attending Auburn. You guys keep
up the great work, as I am very “picky” about sports talk I listen to,
and your show is great. I would really appreciate one or both of you
e-mailing me back just to let me know this message got to the right
place. You have a “lifetime” listener in myself and I would love to
somehow be interactive with your show as a “voice in the South”. I
look forward to hearing back from you soon and KUDOS on the show.

Yes indeed, Inge, your message arrived at the proper inbox thanks to the wonders of our now-functional contact form on SolidVerbal.com, which had previously been shut down by crazy, spam-wielding Nigerians looking for Dan Beebe’s mysterious source of money.  And believe me, it’s to our surprise as well that you enjoyed our show, because, well, we usually make at least one gratuitous porn reference each episode.  So, thank you for your support.  But, we do need to talk.  Paul Finebaum is our unspoken enemy, even though he has never wronged us and, by all accounts, is wildly successful.  Listening to both is like rooting for both Batman and The Joker.  Therefore, the only solution is to bring you on-board as our official representation to the Finebaum Show.  You already know the vernacular.  You already know the nuances.  This already has an Avatar-like feel to it, except we can’t guarantee you $100 million for your services.  LET US KNOW.

From SilverBritches Stephen at the University of Georgia:

You were looking for possible names for your new segment where callers leave you voice mails during the games they are watching.  I would like to put forth the following nomination:

Verbal Vomit

It ties into you’re name, as well as alluding to the notion that callers are likely going to be highly emotional when they call in and spew forth whatever they are feeling at the moment.  On the downside… it’s a bit disgusting.  But really, that’s nothing when you realize we’re talking about a sport where Georgia loses to Colorado- THAT is truly disgusting.

Aside of the fact that this name is abhorrently wrong, I regret to inform you that the rights to this name are already owned by every Joe Kines interview ever.  Thanks anyway…

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkNT28g6YBU

From Jason in Seattle:

When does one know one pays too much attention to college football?  For instance, when you walk out of your local hardware store on Saturday morning thinking “man the hardware store kid looks a lot like Andrew Luck” – have things gotten out of hand?

Good news: you’re still well within the “normal” range for an adult male.  In fact, on a one-to-five scale (five being the worst), your hardware store stunt is about a two.  For your reference, I’ve included a quick reference chart with some quick examples:

Severity Offending Actions
1 Being Paul Wulff.
2 Thinking the hardware store kid looks a lot like Andrew Luck; Signing up for a message board subscription.
3 Playing college fantasy football; Painting your face and going to a game after the age of 26; Starting message board rumors based on gut feelings which you deem as “sources”.
4 Manually entering the names, numbers and physical attributes of your team’s entire roster into NCAA ’11; Using the fight song of a school (from which you did not graduate) as your wedding reception’s introduction music; Hosting The Solid Verbal; Not hosting The Solid Verbal, but traveling to VerbaCon anyway.
5 Sending a friend request to a blue chip recruit who may or may not be interested in your favorite college team; Selling an extremely valuable and necessary possession (i.e., your house) in order to have sufficient funds for tickets to a big game.

On This Day In Solid Verbal History…

Well… two years ago around this day in Solid Verbal history, Dan and I embarked on something our infamous Solid Verbal Combine, a five-event video series that we conducted after reached something called the “Phil Steele Threshold,” which was really just a catchy nickname for “40 subscribers to the podcast.”  (Eventually, we did get Phil Steele on the program, despite our continued jokes pitting him against adult film icon Lex Steele.)

The first athletic contest was a 40-yard dash:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE10rrw_f8I

To this day, I contest the results of this race.  Not only was I running in sub-freezing temperatures at the time, but I was also forced to re-run the dash several times due to camera malfunctions.  The video clip at the end of me standing by a tree conveniently cuts off before I burst into a episode of dry heaves.  One day, we’re going to re-run this race.

Verballer Spotlight

A few friends of the program you should check out:

  • House of Run – Speaking of running… West Coast Kevin started a podcast about that very subject, and is in the process of building a healthy following.
  • Top Cheddar – Jamie, the author of the site, is not only a huge supporter of The Solid Verbal, but also the owner of a brand spankin’ new Solid Verbal Shirt.
  • Track the Bet – “Chris the Capper,” a new addition to our Thursday episodes is the owner and operator of this site, which, yes, tracks your bets.  I haven’t been entering my picks into this system since ignorance is bliss when it comes to poor game analysis.

We’ll refine this spot over the coming weeks, so keep checking back.  In the meantime, thanks for your continued support and feel free to get in touch either by e-mail or by dialing 206-338-1784.