by: Dan Rubenstein

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by “courage.” As in it’s pretty courageous to continually work on your golf handicap even though you’re responsible for a major college football program.

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• Position battles are winding down as depth charts are beginning to be locked in. At USC, changes are afoot at MLB, RB, and WR … At Kentucky, well, no changes are afoot at QB … Tennessee has all but made a QB announcement official … and Charlie Strong has his first QB at Louisville. The Solid Verbal is yet to announce it’s host depth chart, but word is it’s 1A: Hildenbrandt and 4B: Rubenstein.

• Oregon State OL Tyler Thomas got drunk, got naked, and got all up in somebody’s .. house? Indeed he did, and despite getting into a three point stance and charging police when they arrived, he still got tased for his efforts. Drunk, naked, and temporarily immobilized is no way to go through life, son.

• Dillon Baxter, USC’s highly touted freshman RB may already have two strikes against him – one being his hoax re: coaches contacting him after the NCAA sanctions were announced and two being his violation of team policy earlier this month. His speed has always been top-notch, but two strikes before fall classes start? Kudos.

• Jeremiah Masoli has not yet been cleared by the NCAA to play for Ole Miss. If he isn’t cleared in time for the season, he could always take his redshirt year and play in 2011. In the meantime, he’d work towards getting his parks and recreation degree and warn children about the dangers of accidentally being in the wrong place and not doing anything wrong ever. I don’t even know where the sarcasm began and ended there. Moving on…

• South Carolina has suspended Weslye Saunders, its star TE, indefinitely for violation of team rules. Saunders has been the subject of an NCAA investigation due to his close friendship with UNC DT (and my boy) Marvin Austin. Something about this story isn’t right, mainly the fact that none of Steve Spurriers quotes are tagged with anything like, “Spurrier said, before chipping it three feet from the flag.”

• ESPN reporter Jenn Brown won’t be endorsing Icehouse, according to The Business Journal (serving Greater Milwaukee). From a credibility standpoint, it’s understandable, but make no mistake, The Solid Verbal is perfectly willing to take money from anyone, including you, Evil Angel Video (Google at your own risk, it’s wildly NSFW).

• Bobby Bowden has a new book coming out entitled, “Called to Coach.” It’s probably pretty good because a professional wordsmith like Mark Schlabach wrote it, preventing me from saying something like, “The first 2/3 is interesting, but the last part is lazy, irrelevant, and possibly written but Chuck Amato.” But seriously, Bowden book people, feel free to blurb that.

• Missouri LB Will Ebner was arrested on suspicion of DUI. He’s not even a starter, but this only goes to approve dumb DUIs committed by backup middle linebackers can happen outside of Eugene, OR. Sighhhhhh.

(Also, Shakespeare’s Pizza in Columbia, MO is a delicious option if you go to a game there. I ate pizza and played Quarters there, which I imagine is what The Bard intended.)

• Middle Tennessee State QB Dwight Dasher may have both lost thousands of dollars playing poker (loaned to him by an older gentleman) and stolen a check from a teammate to pay back his loan. My favorite part of the story is that Dasher loves to play poker “despite apparently not possessing the necessary skills to be successful at the game.” BURN.

• The NCAA released the profit findings of 120 FBS schools. Not much to say here other than the fact that I vaguely feel like Lester Freamon from The Wire. FOLLOW THE MONEY!!

Today’s video is of people getting injured at the beach. I believe it’s foreign, but has some lo-fi Outkast so you can dance along with the suffering:

Enjoy your Tuesday.