Ty and Dan run through all the action from Conference Championship Week, break down the looming rematch between LSU and Alabama, take a quick glance at their favorite bowl match-ups, and debate another rousing rendition of the Dr. Pepper halftime throwing contest.  Plus, your Week 14 Reverbs.

Ty and Dan rehash college football’s eighth week and discuss Kirk Cousins’ Hail Mary, James Franklin’s casual dress Saturday, Clemson’s chances of going unbeaten, and Nick Foles… in a winning effort!

Ty and Dan talk with Spencer Hall about Will Muschamp’s early marks, LSU-Alabama, the Big Ten, “We” Bombs, and a college football version of The Truman Show.  Plus, picks for all the big action during Week Eight.

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Ty Hildenbrandt and Dan Rubenstein take a closer look at impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, poke fun at Texas A&M’s pass defense, and devise a diabolical scheme to fix South Carolina’s quarterback problem. Plus, another batch of listener Reverbs and another tale of Nick Foles’ performance… in a losing effort, of course.

Ty and Dan plod through more cumbersome talk of conference realignment and play through Verballer voice messages before previewing week 4 and putting a double-jinx on Saturday’s Florida State-Clemson game.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oregon attendee and Always Sunny in Philadelphia star Kaitlin Olson. Welcome back to teevee, horrible people.

*****

• LSU squashed Mississippi State under their thumb last night. Not pretty.

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is out of the hospital and ready for action (maybe).

• ESPN’s David Ubben talks Iowa State and upward trending.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett chats with Michigan State QB Kirk Cousins ahead of tomorrow’s Notre Dame game.

• Oklahoma‘s regents are meeting on Monday. This passes for news, apparently.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson previews tonight’s Boise State-Toledo matchup.

• Cal coach Jeff Tedford was reprimanded for speaking poorly of officials.

• SI.com’s Jordan Conn profiles FIU’s T.Y. Hilton. T.Y. Hildenbrandt is very excited.

• The Wiz has a prognostication wrap of writers from across the country.

• Maryland‘s down two receivers for the West Virginia game.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features The Dude and some sweet, sweet soul.

Enjoy your Friday.

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Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Ty and Dan kick off their fourth season as hosts of The Solid Verbal by reviewing the news of the week, reading a handful of Verballer messages, and previewing the biggest games of 2011′s opening weekend.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Maryland grad Larry David. Curb was fantastic Sunday and now the Terps get new gear. It’s always good to be LD.

*****

• The LSU players involved in last week’s Baton Rouge bar fight could face felony battery charges.

• The number of Miami players with eligibility issues going into the opener sits around 15. This seems worrisome.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks TCU and CBS’s Jerry Hinnen previews the entire Mountain West. Tag Team back again.

• Seth Doege is officially Texas Tech’s starting QB. Not a surprise.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett speaks with Michigan QB Denard Robinson.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Wisconsin depth chart notes. (Theres a “1″ next to Russell Wilson‘s name)

• A list of SEC newcomers to file away. Also, SEC scrimmage notes exist.

• Notes from the last Boise State scrimmage can be read.

• Fox’s Gus Johnson visits Tempe (in a private jet) to visit ASU. Let’s all pretend like he isn’t wearing a shirt with his own catchphrase on it, ok?

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly gets his Norman on.

• Whatever, I like the new Maryland helmets.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel picks Dana Holgorsen’s brain. I like.

• SI.com hired EDSBS and SB Nation’s Holly Anderson. She immediately does work re: LSU.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is outtakes from the Food Network’s Sandra Lee. HOMEMADE.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-VNg9y4pB4

Enjoy your Tuesday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Freaks and Geeks AND Loyola Marymount alum Linda Cardellini. I think I like the Lindsay Weir version better.

*****

• Arkansas RB Knile Davis is out for the season after breaking his ankle during a scrimmage. Awful news.

• Texas A&M to the SEC isn’t nearly as true as the consistently reliable Texas A&M Rivals site would have you believe.

• Could Florida State go to the SEC? Probabmaybwhoknows.

• We like Indiana coach Kevin Wilson a lot more after his radio appearance yesterday.

• 2011 will be Howard Schnellenberger’s last year coaching Florida Atlantic. Here’s to his pants being suspended in a professional, respectable way.

• A nice point/counterpoint between Florida H-back Trey Burton and an interviewer. Her point is calling him hot, his counterpoint is looking at her chest. It balances out.

• ESPN figures out which teams are just big ol’ teases.

• Jim Tressel and Ohio State are testifying today before the NCAA. Perfect way to start the weekend, right?

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans profiles West Virginia menace DE Bruce Irvin.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has an ACC preview, but fails to talk about Maryland scooters. This is why we win.

• SEC Week is real and it’s spectacular.

• Cal lost presumed starting FB Eric Stevens to a torn ACL.

• Rivals has a Florida State preview. Conclusion: It’s Bjoern Time.

• Cincinnati‘s going black on matte black with alternate helmets.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the Warcraft kid freaking out over a tattoo. This is video birth control.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtkuvF7VbSQ

Enjoy your Friday. Keep warm.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michael McKean, the only Carnegie Mellon graduate to also be a member of Spinal Tap. Beat that.

*****

• Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher‘s son is battling a rare blood disorder. Strong wishes from the Click Chorus.

• Arizona State LB Vontaze Burfict blew up a teammate. Quick, everybody act surprised.

• Michigan WR Darryl Stonum has been forced to redshirt this year after a DUI plea. Ty thinks it’s laughable to compare the situation to Michael Floyd‘s, which is true, it appears Michigan may desire a higher standard under Brady Hoke. Apples and golden oranges.

• The Longhorn Network contract is analyzed by Outkick the Coverage’s Clay Travis. Allegedly.

• It’s QB John Brantley‘s turn in Florida. Again.

• Nebraska QB Bubba Starling, who definitely is playing baseball and not football, didn’t practice and isn’t on the roster. So other than that…

• ESPN is all-accessing Florida. Photographs!

• Fox Sports’s Andrew Astleford profiles Missouri QB James Franklin, who may do the unthinkable and finish in the top half of some Big 12 passing categories, eclipsing the immortal standard set my Blaine Gabbert.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has been saving his West Virginia preview for a special occasion. Or today, either way.

• Boise State has gotten around the Mountain West‘s unfair blue-on-blue ban. Brilliant.

• Michigan St DT Jerel Worthy has immortalized his disdain for the Maize and Blue.

• Wrap up Pac-12 Week with Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday.

• Virginia Tech gets the latest Rivals preview treatment. LUNCHPAILS!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the (DECIDEDLY NSFW) trailer for The Sitter.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYvj9J0GLsU

Enjoy your Monday. Clothing is purchasable.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Mark Ennis from BigEastCoastBias.com about expectations at West Virginia, the Tino Sunseri Experiment in Pitt’s new offense, USF’s progression as a major football program, UConn’s mantra for 2011, and prop bets for his own wedding.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Penn State graduate (and Notre Dame fan) Ty Hildenbrandt. With this morning’s Michael Floyd news, today is his Independence Day.

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd has been officially reinstated by Brian Kelly. I’ll bet he learned his lesson.

• Miami OT Seantrel Henderson may miss the 2011 season (or a large chunk thereof) after he undergoes back surgery next week. We’re gonna need a bigger table.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy has a post-Big East media day profile of West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen. Only read this if you want to know more about Mike Leach’s sweat pants.

• Virginia Tech OT Blake DeChristopher will miss the next 4-6 weeks with a wonky boob. And that’s how you do a painful injury a complete disservice.

• EDSBS has the least watchable teams in recent CFB history. I’m still not over his Paul Wulff descriptions.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly makes with the Penn State previewing.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has quick things-to-know on Pac-12 teams.

• The Big East may expand again. I learned this from looking into Ivan Maisel‘s steely eyes.

• Texas and Oklahoma fans brought knives to a knife fight (at Applebee’s). Luckily, the magical phrase, “ruptured scrotum” is nowhere to be found here.

• Rivals ranks receiving corps. They really dropped the ball with Arkansasat #1. <-- Comedy.

• SI.com’s Ben Glicksman says Penn State needs somebody to throw the ball to their own team. Crazy, I know.

• Listen to a fun interview with Mike Leach. Psh, like any of them aren’t.

• Memphis is so edgy.

• Central Michigan is so maroon.

• Continue reading Dr Saturday’s Pac-12 week. Become smarter. Rinse repeat.

• Crap, the Solid Verbal preseason poster was going to look EXACTLY like Florida’s. Back to the drawing board.

• Rivals previews South Carolina. This is your last chance to read this.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a mariachi band serenading a beluga whale. Because it is, that’s why.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS_6-IwMPjM

Enjoy your Wednesday. Shop, don’t drop.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the always-dreamy Harry Hamlin, Yale graduate. Excuse me, after last night, it’s Big Dog, Yale graduate (NSFW language).

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks with paralyzed Rutgers player Eric LeGrand about kickoffs.

• Nebraska QB signee Bubba Starling is still figuring out if he wants to take $7.5 million from the Kansas City Royals. Good one!

• Syracuse WR Marcus Sales is quite serious about the drugs that may or may not belong to him in his vehicle. Felony drug charges now exist for Sales.

• Illinois LB Ashante Williams has been suspended indefinitely. So So Indef.

• You were all probably wondering if Terrelle Pryor‘s high school mentor was cleared three years ago of improper booster behavior, right?. Good news for all.

• Fox Sports Houston talks the 2011 schedule of… Houston. I know, right?

• Need a little Holgorsen to get your August started? Of course you do.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Georgia, a team with numbers in all of the right places (except the pesky W-L columns).

• UCF coach George O’Leary just wants to be liked. By everyone.

• More B1G team previews and conference forecasting are now available (FREE) as Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday concludes B1G Week.

• Penn State QB Paul Jones (former 5*) will miss 2011 with academic issues.

• USC is the latest Rivals team preview. Again, these Rivals previews would be a good place to start learning about more than just the QB’s name when you talk about a team (ahem, anonymous TV analysts).

• Michigan DC Greg Mattison is getting bizzay in Ann Arbor. I’m so in touch.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an older lady being thrown about and terrified in Corvette. Always funny.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cTR9Ak6X9U

Enjoy your Monday. Support the Verbal.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by USC attendee Ron Howard, who had a similar run-in with TMZ to Marc Tyler’s, only his was way more graphic.

*****

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly gave his first extensive comments since Yahoo!‘s most recent Will Lyles story. Not much was said.

• Alabama *officially* has nothing to do with T-Town Menswear, the outfitter that definitely didn’t do anything wrong with current and former Tide players.

• The Mountain West has arbitrarily decided that Boise State can’t wear their all-blues at home. Because really, what you want to do when you lose your biggest team and gain a new signature team, you’d like alienate the new guys as soon as possible.

• Former Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor has a clearer path to the NFL’s Supplemental Draft — the Buckeyes want nothing to do with him.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck will only play one more year for Stanford, surprising no one.

• UCLA QB Brett Hundley will be out for about a month after tearing meniscus in his right knee. The Bruins is exactly on schedule.

• Florida RB (and noted sprinter) Jeff Demps will play football this fall. Quickly.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks to Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops at Big 12 media day about losing. Exciting stuff.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has decided robots are the way to go for college football. It’s all fun and games until the video replay machine kills somebody.

• ESPN has choice quotes and storylines from Big 12 media day (Day 2). Lapel pins wowed the masses.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller is all up in Stanford QB Andrew Luck’s beard. And I don’t blame him.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt talks to ESPN’s Chris Fowler al fresco.

• Clemson QB Tajh Boyd got in an early dig on South Carolina. I like.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly loves him some pig sooie.

• I see what you did there, Georgia Tech. Clever.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has a Minnesota preview. It includes a painful MarQueis Gray pun (but is otherwise very good).

(Michigan and Iowa are also ready for knowledge-gaining)

• Rivals has a West Virginia preview. I’m choosing to pronounced probable star WR Ivan McCartney “Ee-vahn,” mostly because I can.

• Tate Forcier is going to San Jose State (this week).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Baylor QB Robert Griffin not giving a crap. Go to 2:12 mark. (via Dr Sat)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAmEJ6qLN6Y

Enjoy your Wednesday. Drape yourself in fine cloth. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Southern Miss graduate Jimmy Buffett, who’s responsible for all of this excellent Mike Leach-Key West stuff. Good enough.

****

• Paralyzed Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand stood up. AWESOME.

• Ohio State AD Gene Smith figures everything’s cool now in Columbus. Ok then.

• It appears that Georgia Tech may have violated some NCAA rules. You have three options — stay tuned for more, stop paying attention, or keep the ball yourself.

• The NCAA isn’t done with Auburn. Allegedly.

• West Virginia OG Josh Jenkins will miss the 2011 season after undergoing knee surgery.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer profiles compliance. Pretty much the sexiest thing of the entire offseason.

• Football Study Hall has adjusted strengths of schedule. I don’t know if Bill Connelly has kids, but if he does, I have a feeling he’s constantly disappointed with their F/+ rating.

• ESPN debates what motivates the SEC and B1G. The piece is accompanied by one of the most attractive pictures ever to be featured on ESPN.

• Now that you know how secondaries in the Big 12 are ranked (in July), you may move on with your day.

• John Legend likes Ohio State. The universe just balanced out a little. “Take that, talented guy who dates supermodels!”

• Fox Sports West profiles USC WR Brice Butler.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly contends that Oregon State has misplaced aggression, which is one of the worst types of aggressions there is.

• Syracuse coach Doug Marrone is an outstanding human.

• They’re dropping like flies in Tempe. Slutty, slutty flies.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it and then talks with Maryland coach Randy Edsall. The multiple hustles continue!

• The sweatervest is alive and well in Ohio.

• Utah OC Norm Chow will make $500,000 to not coach at UCLA. Good gig if you can get it.

• Rivals looks back at all of the 5-stars of the “Rivals” era. You’ll learn who wins “Best Five Star” at the upcoming Rivies.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Seth Meyers monologging (sp?) at the ESPYs last night. I didn’t watch the whole thing. Mostly because I wanted to do something else.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGrq5RJ-wYw

Enjoy your Thursday. Shirts!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Bryan Cranston, LA Valley College attendee and star of Breaking Bad, which I’m about to start (and probably be insufferable about).

*****

• ESPN’s Pat Forde asks: “Why can’t I write a column about pay-for-play?”

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy goes to Provo and profiles BYU and their independence. His hair appears to be short enough to be welcomed by the locals.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday projects CUSA, which is a lot easier to write than “Conference USA.” Consider that your introduction to “CUSA.”

• Miami coach Al Golden is getting a lot of “yes” on the recruiting trail.

• West Virginia apparently frowns on the whole armed robbery thing. Prudes.

• ESPN continues to look ahead to impact games, including ones in early December. I imagine these previews will hold up perfectly.

• “Michigan AD Dave Brandon Talks Branding.” OF COURSE HE DOES IT’S IN HIS NAME.

• ESPN previews Pac-12 DEs. It all comes down to the good, the bad, and the Arizona.

• Silas Redd is a running back for Penn State. That’s what I learned.

• The Big East has special teams. That have special teams.

• Who’re the best corners in the B1G? I don’t know, but if you take away that apostrophe in the first word of the question, it becomes funnier and less sensical.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews a Shaky-less Utah. Just isn’t the same anymore.

• Ohio State fans definitely aren’t crazy.

• Rivals previews Iowa. Y’heard it hear first: this is QB James Van Der Beek‘s time.

• South Carolina WR Bryce Sherman takes to the Twitter to announce that he’s GONE. Well, he’s staying, but gone from the team. Something like that.

• Oklahoma State will unveil new uniforms in a couple weeks that will include any number of combinations. Where have I heard this story before?

• South Carolina has new uniforms. I think.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Deadspin editor AJ Daulerio trying to replicate Dock Ellis’s acid-fueled no hitter. It’s a bit NSFW.

Enjoy your Wednesday. The store!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Dan talks with ESPN.com’s Bruce Feldman about recent college football news and his new book with Mike Leach, “Swing Your Sword.” It can’t be stressed enough how good the show has gotten since Ty left for Hawaii. Ok, it’s taken back — it can’t be stressed how good this show is because of Bruce Feldman. Enjoy!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the late (and still awesome) Phil Hartman, former CSUN employee. He also sings today’s Video of the Day song. He’s that good.

*****

• According to documents released yesterday to The Oregonian, recruiting material Oregon paid for for 2011 prospects was mostly made up of class of 2009 recruits. Probably not ideal.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples reacts and thinks Oregon either got ripped off or shadiness was abound.

• Auburn pays employees. I know, right?

• Louisville CB Darius Ashley got a second DUI. It’s right around five or six where you really start getting concerned, I guess.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff ranks specific SEC linebackers and full SEC linebacking corps. Be on the lookout for a particularly sassy Alabama LB Dont’a Hightower.

• ESPN’s David Ubben ranks Big 12 RBs. Be on the lookout for a particularly sassy Texas A&M RB Christine Michael.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich ranks ACC RBs. I originally wrote “Heater Dinich,” which is a much cooler name.

• The Ohio BMV (not DMV!) said no “wrongdoing” was done when Ohio State football players purchased cars. I still can’t get over “BMV.”

• Former West Virginia coach Bill Stewart will be paid $1.65 million as a buyout. That’s a LOT of porches and lemonade.

• Football Study Hall previews Georgia Tech. What I gleaned is that the Yellowjackets run their offense really well, except when they don’t.

• “Central Florida is gonna getcha!” says SI.com’s Stewart Mandel.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the monorail song from The Simpsons. Just because it’s probably been too long for all of us.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF_yLodI1CQ

Enjoy your Tuesday. Buy things.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by my friend Ana Ivanovic, who starts a magical Wimbledon run this week. Also of note, “friend” now means person I will never know and sometimes gawk at from afar.

*****

• Nevada WR Brandon Wimberly was shot in the abdomen, most likely ending his football career. Awful.

• Minnesota RB DeLeon Eskridge, the Gophers’ leading rusher last year, will transfer from the program to be closer to a family situation.

• Former Miami RB Storm Johnson will officially transfer to UCF, where he’ll continue his football career and then inevitably become a local weatherman.

• South Carolina S DeVonte Holloman was arrested for DUI Friday night. Only five more chances, DeVonte.

• The New York Post’s Phil Mushnick knows not of what he speaks, but we already knew that. CBS’s Adam Jacobi dances on Mushnick anyway and it’s golden.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers are profiling programs in urban locations. It’s a June thing, I suppose.

• ESPN’s David Ubben ranks Big 12 QBs. Somebody named Steele Jantz is competing for the Iowa State job, so I’m rooting for Steele Jantz.

• South Carolina DE Jadeveon Clowney is the eighth best DE in the SEC. That was quick.

• West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen has a quick Q&A with ESPN. He had to make it quick to hurry to an appointment to be shot out of a novelty circus cannon.

• Football Study Hall has a number of creative backhanded compliments for UConn.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples profiles Texas’s offseason. Google Chrome didn’t find one mention of the word, “BBQ.” Total pro.

• Rivals ranks defensive combos. Stanford LB Chase Thomas made the list, despite faking an injury at one point. It doesn’t take much, Rivals, does it?

• The Situation is (probably) being paid to be a Michigan State fan at some point this fall.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Stephen Colbert commencement speaking.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6tiaooiIo0

Enjoy your Monday. Buy clothing.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Schwartz, Union College (Schenectady!) graduate. He was good doing shorts for ESPN and is now great occasionally on Parks and Rec. Also, his hair is eerily similar to mine.

*****

• Terrelle Pryor pulled a Jason Giambi and apologized for nothing in particular. Sports!

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy looks at how the tornadoes that hit Alabama brought a little bit of humanity to the Iron Bowl. Just a little.

• Pitt and Penn St will start playing each other again in five years. By that time, Ty and I will either be THE voices of college football or we’ll be long gone with the money we’ve slowly laundered from everyone that has ever listened to the show.

• Texas lost WR Greg Timmons to a nasty case of no longer wanting to play for Texas.

• Free agent QB Russell Wilson should be deciding on a 2011 destination soon. You know, for grad school.

• The CBS Sports Network, which will forever be a triple digit channel, has hired Rich Rodriguez to be a full time analyst.

• Football Study Hall aims at Ole Miss. And Dairy Queen. Just read it.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich looks at Week 3 of the ACC slate. My calendar also says today is June 15, if you’re curious.

• SEC running backs are ranked. No joke to be had here, the conference is filthy is backs.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg chats with Michigan St coach Mark Dantonio.

• New West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen went skydiving yesterday. And almost exploded.

• Oh, you thought The Wiz was done rolling out the financial reports from the bowl games. Too silly.

• Rivals’s's’s's’s Tom Dienhart looks at the biggest scheme changes of the offseason.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features two seals being released into the wild. And wouldn’t you know it, right after they were released, things got super romantic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgJbqyQN164

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy stuff!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college attendee Matthew Broderick, who has the distinct honor of now being 25 years removed from his best work AND being married to Sarah Jessica Parker. I just made myself sad for no reason.

*****

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart officially resigned, making OC/brief coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen the new Mountaineer head coach.

• Did Jim Tressel and Ohio State receive a warning email about alleged Buckeye memorabilia seller Dennis Talbott in 2007? Some say probably.

• Wisconsin WR Nick Toon commented on possible QB transfer Russell Wilson. NOT COOL (if you care about dumb secondary NCAA violations).

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik got PAID. Oversized leather jackets for everyone!

• SI.com’s Andy Staples suggests that perhaps West Virginia didn’t handle the whole “coach-in-waiting” thing properly. How dare he.

• Don’t pretend like LSUFreek wasn’t ready for Stewart/Holgo ’11.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has a roundup of the weekend’s non-AQ excitement. Summary: Houston QB Case Keenum‘s got a wife, Wyoming‘s got a HS kid starting at QB, etc.

• Nebraska QB transfer Cody Green is looking at Big 12 schools. You don’t just pass up a chance to sometimes play on regional Fox Sports networks, you guys.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich is totally down with Virginia Tech’s 2011 defense. Way out on a limb there, Heather.

• Did Ohio State players get free golf? I’ll say………… “yes.”

• Penn St coach Joe Paterno uses an iMac bigger than Joe Paterno to skype with recruits. COMETOPENNSTATE (signs off accidentally).

• Notre Dame and Michigan will play under the lights in Michigan Stadium wearing retro uniforms. Michigan wins the thread war.

• Former Ohio St coach Jim Tressel says “Thanks but no thanks” to the mandatory coaching seminar he would’ve had to attend if he were still coaching.

• Florida St coach Jimbo Fisher really wants to do this commercial. Really, he does. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a performance from last night’s Tony Awards from “The Book of Mormon,” the musical written by the South Park guys, which i kind of need to see immediately.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tggtPHDmrR8

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by JJ Abrams, Sarah Lawrence alumnus and Super 8 director. And yes Sarah Lawrence actually has an equestrian team.

*****

• Former Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor and his lawyer have threatened legal action against ESPN for “bogus” reports. Guess what isn’t happening? Actual legal action.

• The photographer implicated as the person paying Pryor for memorabilia, Dennis Talbott, has denied any wrongdoing and any payment to Pryor. Hm, where should conventional wisdom fall here?

• Also, this Dennis Talbott fellow is alleged to have had a ginormous, unregistered Ohio State memorabilia business. Mmhmm.

• Jim Tressel‘s still on the hook for that 250k fine.

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart is reportedly being bought out as we speak. Damn, Holgorsen DOES move fast.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin will have a chat with the NCAA this weekend. Hopefully, for Kiffin’s sake, the NCAA promotes an atmosphere of tasty refreshments during these meetings.

• ESPN’s David Ubben reviews Big 12 Heisman contenders. I go all Justin Blackmon all the time here.

• ESPN Stats and Info break down the Heisman chances of QBs in their different QB groups. Here’s pro-style, spread, and dual threat.

• Fox Sports Detroit goes game by game with Michigan’s 2011 schedule.

• SI’s Don Banks speaks with NFL scouts about Terrelle Pryor’s NFL prospects. It’s not glowing.

• USC S Patrick Hall has torn an ACL for the second time and will miss the 2011 season.

• EA Sports held a demo for NCAA ’12 at E3. (Goosebumps)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is elephants going bonkers. Woah.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4Wmic8JapM

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Wisconsin graduate and Workaholics star Anders Holm. He’s clearly excited about the (possible) prospect of Russell Wilson moving to Madison.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd thinks if Bill Stewart stays in Morgantown, things will be uncomfortable all around. YUP.

• Did President Obama and Auburn WR coach Trooper Taylor chest bump? What do you think?

• Former Ohio St RB Maurice Clarett blamed the school’s recent problems on the general culture of the Buckeyes and Columbus.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel explains why the Ohio State case is worse than USC’s. See! I can read headlines.

• Former Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer isn’t openly saying he wants the open Tennessee AD job, he’s just making it clear to an ESPN reporter that he’s open to it. Or something.

• Sometimes, he that they call “LSUFreek” misses on one of his GIFs. The other 100% of the time, gold comes spewing out.

• This is a picture of Mike Bellamy, incoming Clemson RB. He’s whatever not-bright is.

• Former NC State QB Russell Wilson visited Wisconsin this week. Things are looking badgery.

• ESPNU released their 2012 ESPNU 150. #138 is a dandy.

• Is heralded Ohio St freshman QB Braxton Miller the man to immediately take over the Buckeyes? Maybe!

• Football Study Hall stares at Michigan and kinda wishes Rich Rod just would’ve hired a better defensive coordinator.

• Wake Forest is down two defensive starters. I’m guessing they couldn’t really afford this.

• Adult Swim got in their shot at Ohio State. Pure elegance.

Today’s Video of the Day is the next big thing. Or the next icy, weird thing. Coning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WygNjMSllLQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

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Ty and Dan are joined by Spencer Hall from EDSBS to discuss the busybodies at West Virginia, Mike Hamilton’s strange demise, Greg Schiano’s plight against kickoffs, and Sim City. Plus, Terrelle Pryor’s unceremonious exit from Ohio State, and a rousing game of “Lifetime OR West Virginia Football.”

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Steve Buscemi, former OLB for the Lee Strasberg Film and Theater Institute football team. Ok that was a joke … he played left guard.

*****

• Beyond the emails, former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel probably had a kick-ass text messaging plan. Go unlimited or go home, son.

• Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton resigned this morning. You’d think he’d be given a longer leash after BOTH of his hires of coaches in revenue sports ran afoul of the NCAA and can be considered thorough Tennessee failures. Sheesh.

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart asked local reporters for dirt on OC/CIW Dana Holgorsen in the days before he was hired, leading to the recent leaks that Holgorsen was asked to leave casinos early in the morning. Fall camp is going to be FUN.

• WVU AD Oliver Luck gave an interview to 93.7 The Fan in Pittsburgh this morning. Here are some quotes.

• Top incoming Nebraska QB Bubba Starling was taken 5th overall in the MLB Draft. I believe Steve Miller said it best.

• Tommy Tuberville is an increasingly silly man.

• Mike Leach is an increasingly logical and bright man.

• Football Study Hall pumps out an Arizona State preview. ASU LB Vontaze Burfict just murdered Football Study Hall.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers review the 2010 ESPNU 150 selections after their freshman years. The SEC appears to have a lot of entries.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson talks to Rutgers coach Greg Schiano. I wonder if Rutgers fans still say things to each other like, “Hey remember 2006? That was AWESOME.”

• The Mountain West has a new logo. Oh and this is their time. Or something.

• Georgia is excited for new enormous NT John Jenkins.

• Former USC RB coach Todd McNair, the coach at the center of the NCAA‘s investigation of Reggie Bush, is formally suing the NCAA for “libel, slander, tortious interference with prospective economic advantage, tortious interference with contractual relations, breach of contract, negligence and declaratory relief.” That kind of thing.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has officially stopped sleeping and has moved on to slamming the SEC over banning graduates from other programs from transferring to an SEC school and playing immediately. Also, he lists the top 25 jobs in college football.

• USC MLB Devon Kennard is now USC DE Devon Kennard.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of the greatest movie threats ever. You better watch (language NSFW fo-sho) …

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbIlLmCID5g

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alum Christine Lakin, who played on Al on ABC’s Step by Step. Wanna feel old? She’s 32 (but still has it!). (ahem, Christine: solidverbal@gmail.com)

*****

• The lawyer of Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor questions 90% of the SI story. I’m feeling even better about the article already.

• Similarly, lawsuits are being threatened over SI’s investigative piece. I have a feeling the follow up to this story will include the phrase, “never materialized.”

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen is now clear on the expectations the school and the state have no the whole “not getting tossed out of casinos” thing.

• Former Notre Dame and current Montana QB Nate Montana (get it?!?!) was arrested for suspected DUI. Not cool.

• Penn State OC Jay Paterno says athletes are already getting paid dozens of dollars an hour for the work they put in athletically. Of course, his math is all poorly constructed and he leaves out revenue figures for schools. Other than that, bang-up job, sir.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples argues that, while Steve Spurrier‘s plan won’t happen, it’s an important step towards a payment discussion.

• Maryland and Connecticut each had offensive footprints last season. Football Study Hall takes you inside the magic.

• Tim Tebow was on The Daily Show. Bloomin’ Onions were implied.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson answers some basic TCU/Big East questions. It’s all she can do to not say TCU is going to swallow up USF.

• Former Georgia RB Washaun Ealey has transferred to Jacksonville State. Gentlemen, get your moving violation ticket pads rrrreeeaadddyyyy!!!

• Will Ohio State‘s recruits hang around? Fox Sports’s Zac (no K, no H) Johnson further pontificates.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) tries to crack the SEC Lion King Twitter code. I’m so lost.

• Some quick thoughts on noisemakers on the SEC by EDSBS fanposter “RaginCajunRebel.” Remember to get sucked into the amazing comment vortex.

• Former Michigan QB Tate Forcier visited San Jose State. Come for the football, stay for the obscene burritos.

• Mel Kiper is totally down with high school 7on7 tournaments. Just so you know.

• Hot/Cold Yes/No UCF QB recruit DeMarcus Smith has chosen to stick with UCF. This is actually news.

• The purple and gray field at Central Arkansas is coming along just fine, thank you.

• Arizona needs snitches ASAP.

*****

Today’ s Video of the Day is Orson Welles sleepwalking through a commercial shoot. I could watch this forever and ever.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFevH5vP32s

Enjoy your Friday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Max Weinberg, Seton Hall alum and Springsteen skin man. Did that sound weird? I’m hoping so.

*****

• South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier proposed paying conference players $300/game out of each coach’s pocket. Related: Steve Spurrier isn’t taking SEC spring meetings very seriously.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg summarizes the latest in the Terrelle Pryor car(s) investigation. Apparently, his parents took care of everything. Case closed. Yep.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel guesses that Ohio State leaked information about the ongoing Terrelle Pryor investigation to get media attention off of them. Wily.

• West Virginia says there are “blatant inaccuracies” with the latest reports re: OC Dana Holgorsen and AD Oliver Luck’s job security. Not “every item was completely invented,” mind you, but “inaccuracies.” Ok then.

• Oversigning was wildly approved by SEC coaches 12-0. Heartwarming.

• UConn WR Mike Smith will not play this fall, due to a nasty case of bad grades. To be fair, “leading WR” and “UConn” in the same sentence is more confusing than anything.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff speaks with Kentucky coach Joker Phillips about oversigning. Joker appears to be fine with it.

• Missouri coach Gary Pinkel has no interest in the Ohio State job. Today.

• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is all up in Wisconsin compliance. Way up in.

• CFB magazine titan Phil Steele has four pre-season All-American teams. Two separate (Oregon CB & PR) Cliff Harrises make the first team. Take that, anti-cloning lobbyists.

• Oregon players have been participating in early morning underwater military workouts. I’m betting nobody yelled out, “Hey guys, check out my rad handstand!” in the middle of the workout. Shame.

• Football Study Hall is finally done with their previews. PSYCH. North Carolina State.

• Rivals’ Tom Dienhart lists his hottest assistants of 2011. He also thinks some of them have a lot of momentum as skilled coaches.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day highlights some more NCAA 12 features, this time custom playbooking. It just might be an indoor summer.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mWtFHrPiQk

Enjoy your Thursday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel. In the back of my mind, you’re getting the 24-style silent clock countdown treatment. Good night, sweet prince (of alleged corruption).

*****

Ahem…

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has officially coached his last game for the Buckeyes after resigning amid pressure from those around him at the university. Interim head coach Luke Fickell keeps the tag, but now with more games tacked on.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor is the subject of an investigation by both Ohio State and the NCAA regarding his ever-expanding car collection and other illegal benefits allegedly received.

• SI’s George Dohrmann conducted an investigation into the scope of the benefits that Ohio State players had come to receive during the Tressel era.

• Ohio State blog Eleven Warriors thoroughly analyzes the above investigation in the expected partisan manner they should have.

• Oh and ESPN analyst Urban Meyer will not pursue any filled jobs for this fall. Good for him.

• Current and former Buckeyes react to the news. Former Buckeye WR Ray Small was particularly poignant.

• ESPN’s Bruce Feldman throws out some replacement ideas.

• Finally, some reactions — Yahoo!!!!!”s Dan Wetzel expects snowballing … Fox Sports’s Bruce Hooley talks about Tressel losing his cred … SI.com’s Andy Staples says it’s all his fault … CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders how OSU AD Gene Smith is surviving.

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgersen has actually been involved in at least six “alcohol-related incidents” in the past six months. And no, he doesn’t seem like a good guy to party with.

• Remember that random elite DL recruit from Florida who announced for New Mexico last year? He’s done with New Mexico.

• South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia was quietly reinstated by Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier. Shhhhh.

• Nebraska QB Cody Green is transferring out of Lincoln. Boise State is a name that has surfaced. Ugh, which probably means that he’ll have a good shot into developing into a complete QB. Meh.

• SEC spring meetings begin today. ESPN’s Chris Low has a preview. It’s like rock and roll but the exact opposite.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is straightforward and to the point — May Failures (I refuse to use the word “fail” as a noun).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrO-qVywKD0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UC Riverside alum and Hangover Part 2 actress Jamie Chung. Chung is attractive and UCR is known has the Highlanders and their bear mascot has a half blue face to honor William Wallace. No part of that sentence was invented in any way.

*****

• Former Ohio State WR Ray Small sold his Buckeye memorabilia while still enrolled and on the team. I just hope Jim Tressel doesn’t fire E. Gordon Gee. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg puts it into context.

• USC‘s appeal of the NCAA‘s 2010 decision was straight Mutumbo’d. Remember USC’s 2004 BCS title? Wrong, you don’t.

• Is the Big East expanding? Could they add another school in Texas or the service academies? Find out next time on “Maybe?”!!

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel explains why Alabama is his preseason #1. He surmises that their outstanding good players will impact their fortunes.

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen and WVU AD Oliver Luck agreed that Holgorsen’s mystery actions were “inappropriate.” Stop with the teasing already, Morgantown.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt appears to be selling his lake house because he’s a charitable human being. I’m ok with this.

• LSU is “oozing” with talent. DC John Chavis illustrates this, um, accurately in the attached photo.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff addresses SEC QB battles. Apparently, nobody knows who’s going to throw for a crapload of INTs in Oxford yet.

• Fox Sports, with an assist from a photo gallery of ACC cheerleaders, profiles new Clemson QB Tajh Boyd, Boyd, by all accounts, had a mostly horrific spring, though it’s oddly not mentioned here at all. But the cheerleaders definitely are.

• Football Study Hall has your stinkin’ numbers right here, UCLA. And they really are quite stinkin’.

• A high school freshman has eight major verbal scholarship offers. This can only end well.

• Indiana football is going to be different this time. Honest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a clip from last night’s amazing NCAA South Park (via EDSBS).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVfiaVM0ap8

Enjoy your Thursday

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by late West Virginia alumnus Don Knotts, who despite his allegiance to the Mountaineers, would’ve probably sided with Johnny Law re: Dana Holgorsen.

*****

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen was allegedly escorted from the premises of a casino. Allegedly.

• SEC commissioner Mike Slive is proposing anti-oversigning legislation. I imagine it’s called something like the SabanSpurrierNuttPetrino Addendum. Or something.

• CBS Sports’s Brett McMurphy profiles Pitt coach Todd Graham. Graham celebrated by immediately suspending his backup QB.

• ESPN’s Joe Schad reported that former NC State QB Russell Wilson visited Auburn yesterday. Excuse me, I should have used his full name … Joe Schad According to Sources.

• With the Big 10 weighing options to cover additional “cost of attendance” for student-athletes, EDSBS examines just what that means at different schools.

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly talks about his team’s unique way of naming captains. After reading this, I think I may have been inadvertently named a captain of something.

• The Big 12 has dark horses. Or do they?

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd may not miss any games after all. Nice ‘n tidy.

• Nomadic QB Tate Forcier either wants to be closer to home or doesn’t. That about covers it.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall has some thoughts about South Carolina being favored to win the SEC East. He feels cautiously nauseated.

• Noted horrible person Senator Jon Kyl won’t be returning the contribution he received from the Fiesta Bowl.

• Boise State‘s secret? Holland pipeline, duh.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I can’t argue with any of what Marty Funkhauser says.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8iW4vr1EaU

Enjoy your Wednesday.

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Ty and Dan talk with Chris Brown from SmartFootball.com about turnover among offensive assistants in college football and the impact new philosophies will have on their respective teams.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ohio State alum and noted enthusiasm curber, Richard Lewis. Great, thanks Jim Tressel, another thing for Lewis to get bummed out about. Just great.

*****

• SI Video has a great video piece about the University of Alabama and the recent tornado. Incredibly for SI, it’s not a writer on the phone passed off as “video.”

• Keep following the Wiz of Odds‘s takedown of bowl deals with his ongoing expense report series.

• The NCAA, being the all-powerful oversight organization that they are, answered questioning from the Department of Justice with a simple, “Not us, go ask them.”

• West Virginia AD Oliver Luck doesn’t think it’d be the worst thing in the world if Mountaineer fans got a little drunker. (That sentence came out more misleading than even I could’ve intended.)

• CBS Sports’s Brett McMurphy talks to Florida coach Will Muschamp about how he got hired and what the former Texas coach sees in OC Charlie Weis. Hint: it’s not QB John Brantley running the option.

• Purdue‘s getting new uniforms. If there was any sense in the world, they’d feature a giant picture of Ryan Kerrigan, with the words, “He Went Here” underneath. Unfortunately, they’ll probably just look like this.

• Colorado DE Forrest West, who seems quite pleased with himself in his team photo, is transferring to NC State. I don’t need to hope he’s happy — I already know.

• South Carolina RB Marcus Lattimore is in decent shape. And by that I mean, his leg may contain more power than Ty and I do combined. Even if you add in some of our extended family members, I think we’re still just approaching Lattimore.

• Former TCU safety Tejay Johnson is completely awesome at life.

• SB Nation’s Football Study Hall continues to not sleep and pump out numbers that try to explain and preview teams. Washington and Northwestern the latest FBO treatments.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel wonders if Arizona State can be this year’s Auburn and come out of nowhere to be national title contenders. The Solid Verbal’s Dan Rubenstein has seen ASU play and politely disagrees with any of this wondering nonsense.

• Rivals profiles new Clemson OC Chad Morris, who will forever be known as “the guy who screwed Clemson up” or “the guy who got Clemson over the hump,” and nothing in between.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an oldie, but still maintains its crown has the greatest Black Eyed Peas cover (or for that matter, performance) of all time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlfO1C2QcvY

Enjoy your Thursday.

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Ty and Dan talk with Herb Hand, Vanderbilt’s offensive line coach, about the spread offense, recruiting lineman, player development, his relationship with Gus Malzahn, and his notable dodgeball accomplishments.

Download the show

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Adam “Pac-Man” Jones, West Virginia attendee and noted rainmaker. Former Fiesta Bowl CEO John Junker is seething with jealousy.

*****

• The Fiesta Bowl was fined ONE MILLION DOLLARS for their minor corruption snafus, but will stay in the BCS. That’s a lot of complimentary 2015 tortilla chips with my name on ‘em.

• If the NFL lockout sticks, get ready for more four-hour college football games. This according to the people that would make money from the six minute commercial breaks.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd has decided, before even a single game broadcast, that Urban Meyer on TV isn’t right. But who replaces him in the booth? My guess — Bob Stoops.

• If you’re keeping score at home, it’s been almost three and a half years since Joe Paterno has visited a recruit. And now he’ll be traveling less. Scary to think about how good Penn State will be with an acting head coach.

• Former Florida CB Janoris Jenkins will be playing out his eligibility at North Alabama, whatever that is.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett wraps the Big East spring. Long live Tino v. Geno in the backyard.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers emails. He feels good about the SEC. And there you have it.

• Clemson has no interest in Missouri QB transfer Tyler Gabbert. It’s because of the kids, you see.

• Thirty percent of Virginia Tech players will receive new helmets that actually help to guard against concussions. Always good.

• Iowa has verbally offered a 15 year old (who hasn’t played a down of varsity football) a scholarship. What could possibly go wrong?

• Rivals profiles Cal QB Zach Maynard, the Buffalo transfer who’s competing for the Bears’ starting job. Oh and his little brother is Cal‘s “star” WR.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day reinforces what we already all knew — jetpacks are awesome.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4CX-8Eo_6I

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Brian Bennett from ESPN.com about Charlie Strong’s impact at Louisville, Greg Schiano’s stock at Rutgers, Dana Holgorsen’s arrival at West Virginia, and overall parity in the Big East.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by proud Queens University (Belfast) alumnus Liam Neeson, who would’ve completely yesterday’s Pakistan mission long ago if given the chance. You can’t convince me that he’s not just playing a character in “Taken.” A very specific set of skills!

*****

• Osama bin Laden is DONE. Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has campus reaction videos.

• Oregon had its spring game. The Eugene R-G’s Rob Moseley reacts by summarizing and theorizing on the implications. Probable starting middle linebacker Kiko Alonso seemed to lock up the starting job and then reacted by getting arrested for allegedly burglary (a year after being suspended for the 2010 season for a DUI charge). We all have our ways.

• Former USC RB coach Todd McNair lost his “unethical conduct” appeal to the NCAA in the Reggie Bush case. I don’t know who’s in the right here, but after this weekend, Bush definitely needs some good marketing.

• You already know who got drafted over the weekend. Here are some bigger names who didn’t.

• ESPN broadcaster Kirk Herbstreit is done with Twitter. For-ev-er. Maybe.

• Ohio State LB Dorian Bell is suspended for 2010 after violating team rules. Apparently, he immediately forwarded incriminating emails to AD Gene Smith.

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd pled not guilty to his DUI charge.

• NC State coach Tom O’Brien dismissed three-year starting QB Russell Wilson for a lack of commitment to the team. Translation: Baseball’s for losers.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has West Virginia spring game notes. It appears that the normal numbers hot Holgied.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg throws out some 2011 B1G Ten thousand yard rushing guesses. He puts some eggs in the Scheelhaase basket.

• This year’s “Fiesty Mike Riley and Oregon State Win with Less!” column fell to ESPN’s Ivan Maisel. Ivan kindly asks you to forget that Mike Riley has never lost fewer than four games in a season. Shh!

• Your probable Washington starting QB is Keith Price. Joe Montana‘s kid’s name is NOT “Keith Price.”

• The college football billboard wars have found their way up to Michigan.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features the best wipeouts from some show.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5pJ1tAWQ8s

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by ESPN’s most famous community college attendee/draft analyst, Mel Kiper Jr. I can’t pinpoint exactly what he does well or accurately, but he certainly, well, exists.

*****

• The Fiesta Bowl‘s eligibility is being reviewed by an 11 member NCAA panel. Nine of those members went on a Fiesta Bowl sponsored vacation, but I’m sure they’ll be completely impartial about giving the Fiesta Bowl an additional BCS game.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel breaks down the NCAA’s notice of allegations against Ohio State. Apparently they dodged some sort of bullet. If only there was some way to commemorate this with some sort of long-lasting form of body art…

• The NCAA has cleared Ole Miss QB transfer Barry Brunetti to play immediately for the Rebel Black Bears.

• Former Michigan CB Cullen Christian is officially transferring to Pitt, which is also the new home of three former Michigan assistants. So when you find yourself missing Michigan’s general secondary philosophy from the past few years, just flip on over to the Pitt game.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller points out that Arizona State believes it is their “time.” Time for what, nobody exactly knows, but many have already begun to speculate about a *possible* magical Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl run. Shh, don’t jinx it!

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg summarizes the action from Wisconsin’s spring game. Long story short, the QBs may have been throwing greased-up footballs.

• Baylor coach Art Briles is anti anti-taunting rules.

• ESPN has surprise SEC spring performers. It did little other than remind me that everybody should pronounce the name “Joel” as Jo-el. Let’s make it happen!

• There appears to be a lot of returning passing yards in the Pac-12. And whatever it is that Colorado does in that department.

• Iowa‘s strength and conditioning coach was given the “Assistant of the Year” award by the football program. The trophy was immediately hospitalized.

• Incoming Georgia DE Ray Drew hung out with fiddlin’ legend Charlie Daniels. The picture atop the story makes me happy.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best video I’ve ever seen of hipsters making beef stroganoff from scratch while also fighting a ninjas.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Hugh Grant, Oxford graduate. He is awarded this honor because apparently, two important people are getting married in England this week. Also, Grant is foppish. I think somebody actually invented the word “foppish” to describe Grant.

*****

• Ohio State officially received its notice of allegations from the NCAA, who are total HATERZ.

• More Florida players favor herbal remedies. Oh and pot. Lots of pot.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini signed a new contract a few weeks ago. I was sworn to secrecy, but one major incentive includes provisions for a curved hat bill that surpasses all geometric laws.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi wasn’t exactly wowed by the passing display put on in Ohio State’s Pryor-less spring game. He was, however, smitten with Jim Tressel’s boots.

• Rich Rodriguez spoke to CBS Sports bloggers about various football and personal topics. I didn’t read everything, so I’ll just assume he accuses most of the Michigan athletic department of being furries.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with Wisconsin’s running backs. West Coast Kevin may be right in openly wondering why we’ve never seen Rittenberg’s legs. The smart money is on him as a hovering Big-10 blogger.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller very politely points out that UCLA wasn’t very good in its spring game Saturday night.

He also accidentally becomes half of the greatest college football video screengrab of all time while interviewing USC defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin.

• FoxSports’s Lisa Horne reviews USC’s spring game. She was impressed by the secondary, which had the ideal assignment of playing against USC’s passing game.

• Oregon has specific spring game uniforms that feature camouflage and military-type ribbons. I’m given credit for the picture, even though I’m always roughly 850 miles from the Oregon locker room at all times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at Texas A&M and wonders if the winning belief is strong in College Station. He also rips six east Texas BBQ shacks for having too many vinegar molecules in their sauce. Perfectionist, that Staples.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it up for the first time this spring. He doesn’t seem to be as in love with Oregon as others might be at this point, which clearly points to him being a HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden, the Danny Almonte of Big 12 QBs.

• A site has been created with the sole purpose of trying to get Cam Newton to take a lie detector test. Newton would in turn receive one million dollars for answer four questions related to his recruitment. Must be nice to have so much disposable income without the cares of perspective, rational behavior, or basic intelligence.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Our Idiot Brother.” Paul Rudd’s sweater makes me giggle.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oglpsxVjRY

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Harvard grad Paul Pfeiffer, the true star (along with his hamster, Wheezer) of The Wonder Years, now available on Netflix streaming. Boom.

*****

• Texas played their annual Orange and White game yesterday. I watched QB Garrett Gilbert throw a dumb pick, saw QB Case McCoy look decent, and then fell asleep. The Statesman and Burnt Orange Nation fill in the rest. ESPN has video.

Speaking of which, the new ESPN/Texas venture, The Longhorn Network, has a logo and a site. You won’t believe this, but they got Matthew McConaughey to record a short video promo. Presumably shirtless.

• Michigan and Notre Dame will be wearing throwback jerseys this year when they meet each other. I assume the uniform choice will be representative of better times for both programs. This could mean a decidedly 1996 look.

• Smart Football delves into the Dana Holgorsen madness. This time it’s West Virginia’s coach-in-waiting say it takes three days-ish to install a good offense. Ok then.

• The Big East held scrimmages this weekend. ESPN’s Brian Bennett has the “story.”

• Virginia held a spring game. ESPN’s Heather Dinich has a short breakdown of the game and an extensive one about the various wines and cheeses available outside.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno offers up some Penn State spring thoughts.

• LSU‘s QB depth stands thusly: Jefferson, Lee, Mettenberger.

• Fox Sports Arizona profiles ASU QB Brock Osweiler, a passer who has, so far, been best evaluated as “not as good as Steven Threet.” I’m quoting life.

• SI’s Jordan Conn profiles new Colorado coach Jon Embree. Apparently, Embree loves the process of building success and hates superfluous H’s.

• Rivals rates the five best assistant hires in each BCS conference. All the BUZZ is free!

• Central Arkansas sees your plain green turf or your trying-too-hard blue/red turf and raises you purple and gray stripes. Ca-ching.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is raw, dirty, public sax.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaoLU6zKaws

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Sterling Mallory Archer. I know not of his formal education, I just know that he gave me the line “…like the Pelé of anal” and that’s more than enough.

*****
• An arrest was made after it was confirmed that somebody had poisoned the soil at Toomer’s Corner, the historic section of oak trees on Auburn‘s campus. Harvey Updyke, an Alabama fan who confirmed his responsibility on the Paul Finebaum Show, was arrested yesterday and held on a charge of criminal mischief.

Leaving voicemails for an Auburn turfgrass management professor’s also didn’t help Updyke’s cause.

SI’s Andy Staples explains why all college football fans should be concerned.

Here’s a candid shot.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd looks at 25 things to watch this spring. I didn’t see NBC’s “Perfect Couples” listed anywhere here.

• Mark Cuban created an LLC to back up his plans to present an alternative to the current college football postseason. And now Oxford is involved, as in England Oxford.

• North Carolina fullback Devon Ramsay will be eligible to play in 2011 after playing only four games in 2010 before being suspended by the NCAA. Oh, and it appears he didn’t do anything wrong. Oops.

• ESPN’s bloggers have spring previews. I suspect the B1G Ten’s Adam Rittenberg may be getting paid by the bullet point.

B1G Ten — Legends and Leaders divisions.

Pac-12 — North and South divisions.

• The Big 12′s David Ubben looks at the conference’s QB situations.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett speaks with West Virginia coach-in-waiting Dana Holgersen. You want goofy offensive coordinator smiles? Oh I GOT goofy smiles.

• Former Rutgers QB Tom Savage will now be known as current Arizona QB Tom Savage. A special note for Mr. Savage: The guy with the steaming face is your coach.

• Illinois’s Ron Zook and Boise State’s Chris Petersen now have something in common — they both got raises yesterday. This is the end of their venn diagram.

• Oregon RB Dontae Williams is opting to transfer. Williams redshirted in 2010. Worry not, Duck fans, the backfield goes about five-deep at the moment. Such problems…

• The NCAA isn’t just investigating Cam Newton‘s Auburn recruitment, but also the recruitment of OL Greg Robinson and WR Travon Reed, both of Thibodaux, LA. Tick tock…

• SB Nation’s Ted Glover speaks with new Minnesota coach Jerry Kill. KILLLLLL!!!!

• 247 Sports/SI.com has handpicked the first 5-star recruits of the 2012 class. It includes an “Andrus,” a “Dorial,” and a “Gunner.” NICE.

• Arizona State‘s first “Sparky” is a pretty excellent human being.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Arthur.” Katy Perry’s husband is involved.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtTVquZ2TFk

Enjoy your Friday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Miami resident Anna Kournikova, who I assume will never be the same now that Tate Forcier is headed to her adopted hometown.

*****

• Tate Forcier decided to take his talents to South Beach after he claims Michigan AD Dave Brandon wouldn’t meet with him (though Brandon tried to reschedule). Now Forcier needs to find a new head towel.

• Oklahoma State hired Jacksonville Jaguars QB coach Todd Monken to be their new OC, the job vacated by new West Virginia OC/HC-in-Waiting Dana Holgersen. So if you’ve been enjoying the David Gerrard magic in Jacksonville, things are only getting … similar in Stillwater.

• Utah OC Norm Chow will make less money in Salt Lake City than he did at UCLA. I think he’ll be ok.

• ESPN lists their top 25 recruiters. Not a surprise, but most of the coaches coach for teams who have had at least some success over the years. And Clemson.

SI (24/7 Sports) does something similar.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with colleague David Ubben about Nebraska moving to the B1G Ten.

• Ivan Maisel is buzzing now that it’s the offseason. It isn’t nearly as titillating as it sounds.

• Wisconsin agreed to a Rose Bowl rematch against TCU in its home opener. TCU said, “Not so much.”

• A few Virginia players look to be a fightin’ bunch.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a post-signing day podcast. He totally stole Andy Staples from us, a guy he never would’ve known if it weren’t for The Solid Verbal. Pshhh.

• Speaking of which, SI.com’s Andy Staples does his best Captain Hindsight, and re-ranks the 2008 recruiting classes.

• Backup Notre Dame QB Nate Montana appears to be considering Montana (birthrite!!!) as a potential transfer destination. So says The Missoulian, my current favorite Montana-based newspaper.

• Rivals has a list of 250 high school juniors who could, quite possibly, be very good.

• Rivals also has a preview of Conference USA’s spring. FINALLY.

(Other conferences are also apparently available)

• ASU QB Steven Threet continues to recover from concussions suffered in 2010 and is thus doubtful for spring practice.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a kitty jumping around in super slow-mo set to happy music.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1vpB6h3ek4

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Iowa alumnus and Willy Wonka himself, Gene Wilder. As far as I know, Wilder never faced serious workout-related kidney overuse. Damn, now I need some chocolate.

*****

• A dozen Iowa players were hospitalized with rhabdomyalysis, a kidney condition that stems from, essentially, working out too much and overexerting the kidneys. Iowa Football: We Piss Excellence … and Dirty Brownish Urine.

• College football conferences made a record $170 million from bowls in 2010-11. That’s like pre-hooker Charlie Sheen money, right there.

• Ohio State hired Florida RB coach Stan Drayton to coach Buckeye WRs. Mr. Drayton, please turn in your playbook and oversized wristband.

• ESPN’s David Ubben reviews the recruiting needs of the Big 12. It wasn’t fair of him, given their conference movement and recent turmoil, to put up a giant “EVERYTHING” next to Colorado.

• ESPN’s Joe Schad reports that Tate Forcier is considering nine different schools for his impending transfer — three of which are FCS programs. Didn’t expect to see Florida A&M in the Forcier sweepstakes, but now they’re who I’m rooting for. Rattler Up!

• Former Florida DB Will Hill claimed a hacker took over his Twitter account and somehow it was the fault of “some blogger” for posting the choice tweets. I don’t see how there could be any holes in this story.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel explains how USC coach Lane Kiffin is dancing around the school’s NCAA sanctions.

• Former touted West Virginia QB Barry Brunetti decided to transfer a few weeks ago and now we can all have a great Wednesday knowing he will be taking his talents to Oxford, MS to play for Ole Miss.

• Rich Rodriguez will serve as an analyst for CBS College Sports on National Signing Day. Yep.

• Texas A&M’s AD Bill Byrne is being a Longhorn Network buzzkill. As he should be.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Seinfeld. But serious.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z14_-En-JTk

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community’s Gillian Jacobs. She attended Juilliard, which has no football team. But if they did, I’m sure they’d be admirably in-step and still probably better than Arizona.

*****

• Maryland, in coach Ralph Friedgen‘s last game as the Terps’ coach, demolished ECU in the Military Bowl. Maryland RB Da’Rel Scott may still be running.

And star Maryland WR Torrey Smith is running to the NFL Draft.

• Baylor essentially played a home game in the Texas Bowl … and got ZOOK’d by Illinois 38-14. And the only thing I can think about is how bad Texas truly must be to have lost to this Baylor team in Austin.

• Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon just isn’t fair anymore. And after last night’s Alamo Bowl, Mike Stoops’s seat just isn’t chilly anymore.

Here’s Blackmon being left open, because, well, I don’t know why.

• The NCAA responded to criticisms that their discipline is doled out inconsistently by issuing a statement that amounted to, “Nuh-uh.”

• The five suspended Ohio State players have “pledged” to come back in 2011. If they didn’t, they would’ve had to (gasp!) miss playing in the Sugar Bowl.

• The Air Raid is dead in Lubbock. RIP.

• SmartFootball examines defensive adjustments to the spread. It’ll make you feel all smart and stuff.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers are it again with their newfangled keys and previews to today’s bowl games:

Pinstripe — Keys + Preview

Armed Forces — Keys … Preview

Music City — Keys … Preview

Holiday — Keys + Preview

• SI.com’s Andy Staples is already bored with the 2010 season and has moved on to previewing 2011. Just wait until we shock everyone and drop our 2014 preview. That’s what I thought.

• Is Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez long for Lincoln? I have no idea. And neither does anyone else.

• West Virginia QB Geno Smith led the Mountaineers to a season-ending top 25 ranking with a fractured foot. What did YOU do this fall? Pathetic.

• Now that he’s in a city where it’s socially acceptable to admit it, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly REALLY likes his new boots.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features an angry child, an innocent backpack, and a fragile window. Even if your math skills are sub-par, you should probably see where this is going.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNsXm99VT2Y

Enjoy your Thursday + Armed Forces + Pinstripe + Music City + Holiday bowls!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by high-school dropout and possible rules-violating Iowa booster Demi Moore, who is probably glad she learned Marcus Coker’s name just before last night’s Insight Bowl.

*****

• Iowa, led by RB Marcus Coker‘s huge game, flatted Missouri 27-24 in the Insight Bowl. The new goal in Iowa City is now preventing Coker’s name from ever ending up in the same sentence as “drug house” or “violating the team’s substance policy.”

• NC State gradually got by West Virginia 23-7 in a Champs Sports Bowl nearly devoid of sound offensive gameplanning or execution.

• The CEO of the Sugar Bowl lobbied for the suspended Ohio State players to play in his bowl to protect “the integrity” of his game. Ohio State is expected to release a statement after the Sugar Bowl kicks them out of bed and gives them cab fare.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is either moderately interested in the Maryland job or wants Zuckerburg money to be an offensive coordinator at Auburn.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have information aplenty for today’s games:

Military Bowl — Preview … Keys

Texas Bowl — Preview … Keys

Alamo Bowl — Both

• Miami QB Jacory Harris will probably start against Notre Dame in the Sun Bowl. Now we can all exhale.

• Former Florida coach Urban Meyer is “seriously considering” an analyst’s role at ESPN. How will everyone in his family get in a word when there’s only so much airtime to go around?

• Mississippi State QB Chris Relf will wear the number of late teammate Nick Bell in the Gator Bowl.

• West Virginia RB Shawne Altson signed into Facebook at halftime of yesterday’s Champs Sports Bowl. OMG LOLZ.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best scenes from Pixar movies cut together. Makes you wish you were a computer-generated underdog.

Enjoy your Wednesday + Military Bowl + Texas Bowl + Alamo Bowl!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Seth Galifianakis, brother of Zach and proud NC State graduate. Go Wolfpack!

*****

• Air Force beat Georgia Tech in the Triple Option Bowl in a game that can best be described as “14-7.” If anything, it was a victory for football purists — those who still aren’t fully on board with newfangled ideas like “the forward pass.”

Even Air Force‘s falcon briefly left the action in Shreveport.

• Sue Paterno, wife of Penn State coach Joe, is fighting back against rumors that her husband is in poor health and retiring in a week.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor will not, no matter his future plans, play in the Bucks’ first five games. A current high school senior probably will.

• North Carolina RB Anthony Elzy won’t play in the Music City Bowl because of “failing to meet his obligations as a student athlete.” Great, now the Music City Bowl means NOTHING.

• Four Florida players will miss the Gator Bowl after undergoing various surgeries. I’m calling it now — Muschamp-sponsored bionic limb introductions. Scandal!

• ESPN‘s bloggers are hard at work doing what they always do:

Insight Bowl — Keys … Preview

Champs Sports — Keys … Preview

• Texas Tech WR Adam James was upset about playing time under former coach Mike Leach. Things are WAY better now.

• Arizona had some famous former Wildcats call up the Alamo Bowl and talk up their school. Oh and they were all basketball players. Bowls!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a random video of Craig Ferguson singing and dancing with a guy in a tuxedo, three bikini girls, a robot skeleton, and an S&M dude. Why not?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwkK5-ibYcw

Enjoy your Tuesday + Champs Sports Bowl + Insight Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Legends of the Hidden Temple, a show that obviously foretold Big Ten happenings years into the future. Spooky.

*****

—Join The Solid Verbal Bowl Pick ‘Em Here—

• LSU discovered some LSU violations and have punished themselves. Raise your hand if you thought nonsensical offensive playcalling was an actual violation. Who knew?

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson tells you all you need to know about this weekend’s bowl action — New Mexico, New Orleans, and the uSomething Humanitarian.

• There may be upwards of … wait for it … thousands of people attending the New Mexico Bowl.

• The Big Ten may be willing to take back that whole “Legends” and “Leaders” thing. And I suppose we’re all just supposed to pretend that this magical week never happened, right? Psh.

• Former Tennessee freshman All-American OT Aaron Douglas will play at Alabama in 2011. And just like that, Alabama FINALLY catches a break on the recruiting trail.

• West Virginia AD Oliver Luck likes head coach Bill Stewart but he doesn’t like like him.

• Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand, who was paralyzed in an October game, now has some feeling in his hands. This is outstanding.

• SB Nation kindly asks that you sidle up to the Week 1 Bowl Buffet.

• BCS Director Bill Hancock doesn’t see Mark Cuban ending the BCS. SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks Cuban is on the right track.

•••••

Today’s Video of the Day honors tomorrow’s New Mexico Bowl by celebrating the legacy of college football coverage in the “Land of Enchantment” by honoring Rob Stone’s classic descent into pepper hell.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvK2Y1hv9mY

Enjoy your Friday + Bowl Weekend.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney, who, in an elaborate rouse, may be systematically taking down the Big Ten. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

*****

• Maryland OC James Franklin should soon become Vanderbilt’s next head coach. Adjust your day accordingly.

• More on the Big Ten’s outstanding PR Monday. I’m still confused as to which division is “Grandpa” and which is “Grandma.”

• After winning the Heisman, Auburn QB Cam Newton took his talents to the Ed Sullivan Theater and presented Letterman’s Top Ten list.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is officially staying put. And for his efforts, he’s getting a little something extra.

• Iowa suspended RB Adam Robinson. Oh, and RB Jewel Hampton has decided to transfer. One more thing — everybody in Iowa City may be a drug enthusiast. DEVELOPING…

• Texas RB coach Major Applewhite will not be coaching at Florida this season. Unless, of course, he is. Which he isn’t.

• Nobody knows what’s going on with Bill Stewart and West Virginia. One thing is certain though — Jack Bogaczyk’s byline picture is way too big.

• The Meineke Car Care Bowl will become the Belk Bowl next year. I don’t know what “Belk” is, so I’ll just assume Charlotte’s bowl is being sponsored by the underside of a pygmy horse.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall ranks the new coaching hires. And then it just spins off into a frantic rhyming nightmare, per usual.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples does much of the same, but his column includes new Miami coach Al Golden standing next to Sebastian, Miami’s mascot — and they don’t look entirely unlike each other. I like it.

• How Florida AD Jeremy Foley convinced Will Muschamp to come to Gainesville. So. Many. Wristbands.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy doing everything better than I can. This is what “cool” is.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the late Leslie Nielsen, who was simply funnier than almost everyone else.

*****

• Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen isn’t going to Florida. Unless he is. In which case, Florida would just keep offering him more and more money. C’mon guys, this isn’t chicken science here.

• The best players in the country won awards last night. I’ve got to admit, in the picture, Auburn DT Nick Fairley looks casual and charming, I may be in the process of getting won over by him after all.

Editor’s Note: Nick Fairley sensed Dan typing his name and appeared out of nowhere, drove Dan into a wall, and ruptured six disks in Dan’s back.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Oregon RB LaMichael James in the wake of the Ducks’ star winning the Doak Walker Award and attending Saturday’s Heisman ceremony as a finalist.

• Last night, Gameday’s Lee Corso was honored by ESPN at their College Football Awards. Long, but a well-done piece for one of the more likable fellows in college football.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is thinking over Vanderbilt’s reported $3 million offer to become the Commodores‘ new head coach. And if Malzahn declines, it’s going to James Franklin, Maryland’s OC. And if Franklin decides against it, they’re going with an adjunct sociology professor who needs the hours.

• Kentucky QB Mike Hartline was arrested for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and an allegation of assault. But the bowls, Mike, WHY WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE BOWLSSSSSSS!?!?

• Newly former Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt will coach the Panthers in the BBVA Compass Bowl, but like the rest of us, he’s just not sure what a BBVA Compass Bowl is.

• Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney tells teams from non-AQ conferences, “You will eat your vegetables, and you will like them, damnit!!”

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall breaks down yesterday’s USA Today op-ed column from BCS Dear Leader Bill Hancock.

• Penn State QB Kevin Newsome will probably soon be Another School QB Kevin Newsome. The same can be said for West Virginia’s Barry Brunetti. (via Dr. Saturday)

• Should Texas coach Mack Brown hire Mike Leach to run Texas’s offense? Richard Justice of the Houston Chronicle seems to think so, and if there’s anything I’ve learned while writing for literally dozens of people, it’s that you always listen to somebody who’s last name is JUSTICE.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a new movie in which Hugh Jackman apparently trains and promotes robots fighting each other in a steel cage. I … just … wow.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAhQA5gT62w

Enjoy your Friday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by legendary horse trainer and Arizona graduate (Major: Race Track Industry!) Bob Baffert, though I have no idea if he follows college football and has a horse in the race when it comes to Friday’s game at Oregon. You see what I did there? Comedy.

*****

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini apologized for his behavior and confirmed Taylor Martinez’s continued presence on the Huskers. He reiterated, “NBgHJ RN3GL JDaF K77GN&#*@3&* %&#$@(adf*#@!!”

• An Indiana prosecutor is investigating a sexual assault claim against a Notre Dame football player by a woman who died in early September in an apparent suicide.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James left the Cal game with an apparent leg injury and appeared on crutches in a walking boot post-game. He apparently practiced full-go yesterday and should be fine against Arizona on Friday. Upon hearing the news, Cal DT Aaron Tipoti instinctively fell to the ground.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck, Boise State’s Kellen Moore, and Auburn’s Cam Newton are your Davey O’Brien Award finalists. All well and good, but who’s up for this year’s Ken O’Brien? Oh, it appears to be only Garrett Gilbert.

• Speaking of which, Wisconsin RB John Clay, despite managing only 42 rushing yards (due to injury) in November, is a Doak Walker Award finalist. CBS Sports’s Adam Jacoby (correctly) takes issue.

• EDSBS’s Doug Gillett prefers to disagree with you regarding the biggest college football rivalries.

• ESPN’s Gameday will be in Stillwater for Saturday’s Bedlam game, forgoing the excellent idea to have Lt. Jim Dangle be the celebrity picker at Boise State/Nevada on Friday.

• The LA Times’ TJ Simers says it’s not looking good for UCLA OC Norm Chow. But Rick Neuheisel is doing a bang-up job!!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett compares Pitt RB Dion Lewis to West Virginia RB Noel Devine, two backs who have fallen in line with the Big East’s library-quiet presence this season.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris, the Eagles’ one offensive bright spot, could be out 3-6 weeks with torn meniscus. Plug in Kuechly!!

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rewind and fast forward. Because they’ve done so every week and it’s why they get paid Cecil Newton money.

• Want to see this week’s most famous golf cart? Of course you kind of do! (Impressive upholstery)

• Arizona will be down a receiver (suspension) for Friday’s Oregon game. And so will Oregon (injury). Both rock solid names, though.

• Oregon‘s building a new HQ for its football program. It’s expected to be inexpensive, modest, and devoid of any flash. Ahem.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) goes A through Y, and then just for kicks, goes to Z in this week’s Alphabetical. I enjoyed you best, Yale.

• Similarly, SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) tackles some schadenfraude.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney casts an updated Heisman vote because … actually, I really have no idea why.

• This week’s college football lines. Las Vegans (word?) seem to like the Crimson Tide of Alabama.

• This week’s screengrabs of the week (via The Wiz).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is almost guaranteed to make you a vegetarian (if yesterday’s didn’t) or some sort of bloodthirsty maniac. It’s essentially every kind of edible animal combined to form a delicious super-meal called TurBaconEpic. With extra bacon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xc5wIpUenQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Robert Redford, former Colorado student and bartender at The Sink in Boulder. He’s also ready for new football leadership for the Buffs and I just made that up.

*****

• Florida coach Urban Meyer Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is reporting that Auburn QB Cam Newton had “three different instances of academic cheating” during his time at Florida. I put quotes around Evans’s words, because I didn’t write them. That would be cheating. Ahem.

It’s ok, though, Auburn fans have Newton’s back. And Mark Schlabach‘s front. And Pedro Gomez‘s brief torso. They’re angry.

• After officially being told of the school’s coaching change, Colorado coach Dan Hawkins is now private citizen Dan Hawkins. Though the story is in Boulder, Kansas is THE current team that’s so mind-blowingly bad that a coach can be fired for losing to you. Rock Chalk, indeed.

Oh, and Dan Hawkins was all like “Peace out, MF’ers!”

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez is expected to start against Kansas this weekend. His ankle is improved and he should have a very productive quarter.

Also, Nebraska‘s using the same sandwich board technique Oregon and Oklahoma State use to send in plays.

• Cincinnati QB Zach Collaros is also expected to start at West Virginia. Good news for Bearcats fans, bad news for Big East Chas/Chazz-out fans.

• Wisconsin RB John Clay is questionable against Indiana due to a knee injury. Damn, looks like some other big dude will have to carry the ball 27 times for 141 yards. Gosh.

• Texas coach Mack Brown is not ready to give up on QB Garrett Gilbert. Cute.

• EDSBS has this week’s “Best in Class.” Just once I’d like this to be about Donald Trump ranking college football stories in terms of classiness. “Colorado blowing that lead? That’s definitely not claaaaaaaaaaaassssy.”

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers rewind and fast forward, and then accidentally DVR a rerun of The Gilmore Girls, watch anyway, and come to realize it’s not that bad at all.

• Washington AD Scott Woodward “clarifies” his “remarks” about Oregon and issues a non-apology. Seems like he did a lot of soul-searching and a fair amount of pants-pooping before deciding to come forward with an “I’m sorry you were offended”-type statement.

• I enjoy first-time LSU visitor stories. SB Nation’s Andrew Sharp did a much better job with his than I did with mine.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney with this week’s Heisman Watch. What do you guys think of him having LSU’s Drake Nevis at #1? Just kidding it’s the standard QB/RB/WR, the only players that REALLY matter.

• SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) lurves him some Texas in the newest “This Week in Schadenfraude.” It features crying and swearing, etc. Good times.

• Noted Mexican cuisine expert Rick Bayless offers up his recipe for bacon guacamole. This has nothing to do with college football, but this week’s games seem mostly anti-climactic and guacamole is, as always, climactic.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of newly-minted TBS host Conan O’Brien. In India.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIZCtDJtFPw

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan talk about Mizzou’s big win, the rise of Auburn, and Navy’s dismantling of Notre Dame. Plus, Verballers ReVerbs.

Ty and Dan make their picks for Week 8 and discuss the Pac-12 division decision, the new Rose Bowl sponsor, and the notion of taking an automatic weapon into a crowded stadium (instead of buying a ticket).  Plus, Verballer e-mails.

Ty & Dan discuss the allegations against West Virginia, Florida’s non-conference schedule, Ty’s crush on Brian Kelly, and the town of Moscow, Idaho.  Plus, voice messages, e-mails and news about the Solid Verbal Fantasy League, Pick’em pool, and VerbaCon 2010.

Ty and Dan discuss Cincy’s chances of repeating, Pitt’s monster receiver, West Virginia’s matchup with LSU, and the right way to say “Louisville.”

Ty and Dan talk with West Virginia coach Bill Stewart about the strength of the Big East, the value of Thursday night games and social media’s impact on recruiting.

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan kick it old school by flying solo with an extravaganza of voice messages, e-mails and week nine picks.  Plus, a quick game of “overrated/underrated”, more additions to pool of potential Solid Verbal host cities, and some secret news on the life and times of Dan Rubenstein.

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan delve into all the week five action, including tick-tack celebration penalties, Miami’s big win and Cal’s disappearing act.  Plus, voice messages, e-mails, Facebook chatter and more thoughts on the Solid Verbal host city in 2010.

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan talk with David Fox from Rivals.com about the Big East’s national profile, the impact of Greg Paulus on Syracuse’s football team, the trajectory of the West Virginia program, and the impact fantasy players in the conference. Plus, multiple voice messages and a MONSTER mailbag to help kill your Friday in celebration of the Solid Verbal being spotlighted by iTunes! (Episode 53)

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan talk with Spencer Hall from Every Day Should Be Saturday about a myriad of topics, including Mike Leach’s thoughts on the NFL Draft, the best Twitter feeds among college coaches, the disaster of SEC regional sports networks, and the glory of West Virginia.

E-mail the show: solidverbal@gmail.com
Subscribe to show: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
Follow us on the Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/solidverbal

Ty and Dan discuss the demise of Tony Franklin as Auburn offensive coordinator as well as a host of other hard-hitting issues, such as:

• The tailgating / sun dress scene in Morgantown, WV and lack of little brown jugs
• Preparations for the Solid Verbal Combine
• USC’s shellacking of Oregon on Saturday night
• The wonders of NCAA ’09 and how it is ruining their lives
• The strange lack of respect for the Big 12 and the Red River Shootout
• Picks for this week’s games, against the spread, that are doomed to fail

E-mail the show at solidverbal@gmail.com or call and leave a voice message at 206-426-3252

Ty and Dan inch ever-so-close to the elusive “Phil Steele Threshold” of 25 subscribers while talking about a wide array of random topics, including:

• Dan’s trip to The Swamp in Gainesville, FL and his impressions of seeing Tim Tebow up close
• Ty’s attempt at the Brent Musburger Drinking Game
• Jimmy Clausen’s ridiculous, Shawn Michaels-style haircut
• The Lou Holtz “I Have A Dream” Scenario of East Carolina vs. Notre Dame for the BCS title
• Bill Stewart compared to Russell Brand
• The Jake Locker Controversy compared to the Knowshon Moreno Highlight Controversy
• Thoughts on calling star quarterbacks and leaving them threatening messages
• Weekend previews

Podcast feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com
E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com