Ty and Dan decide to break down the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl from all angles with the help of Robert Rosenthal from ALionEye.com and Larry Brown from LarryBrownSports.com.  Plus, previews and picks for a slew of other bowl games

Ty and Dan run through all the action from Conference Championship Week, break down the looming rematch between LSU and Alabama, take a quick glance at their favorite bowl match-ups, and debate another rousing rendition of the Dr. Pepper halftime throwing contest.  Plus, your Week 14 Reverbs.

Ty and Dan break down the impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, Michigan’s triumph over Ohio State, the Heisman credentials of Montee Ball, UCLA’s march to Pac-12 South glory, and all the other action from Rivalry Week.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Alison Brie, proud California Institute of the Arts graduate, and, for my money, one of the better ways to begin a weekend.

*****

• CBS‘s Brett McMurphy and Bruce Feldman have week 8 picks.

• Things got interesting before last night’s UCLA/Arizona halftime in a fake ref/streaking/brawl kind of way.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly makes you smarter every time. Take advantage.

• Free Connolly USC/ND preview. Just that easy.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg talks to Nebraska LB Lavonte David.

• ESPN‘s bloggers debate USC vs Notre Dame. When two unranked rivals meet, YOU THROW THE RECORDS OUT.

• Ditto for Stanford/Washington.

• ESPN‘s bloggers tell you what to watch, and that’s final.

• SI.com has a midseason All-American team (and Miami RB Lamar Miller).

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday takes an unbeaten snapshot.

• The fine Doc Sat folk also have the good, bad, and the ugliness.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a Euro/crazy mouth version of Led Zeppelin. Ker-azy.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxcCC2g1Ke0

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Milhouse van Houten, who may no longer exist after the spring. More like Thrillhouse, amiright?

*****

• Alabama and LSU haven’t even played once yet and CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders if they could play again in the BCS National Championship. He sees things.

• USC‘s defense is good to go, says coordinator possibly not watching USC games.

• ESPN B1G blogger Brian Bennett believes in Michigan, or at least offers reasons as to why you should.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff and UCLA’s Rick Neuheisel are headed in “different directions.”

• The trailer for a new ESPNU documentary about the first SEC Championship game. Looks pretty excellent actually.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says the Big 12 should just let Mizzou go to greener, more SEC-like pastures.

• Staples also has power rankings in the tune of Star Wars. Yep.

• LSU CB Tyrann Mathieu is down with his “honey badger” nickname. Of course he is.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the new iPhone announcement, but in 90 easy seconds. This should be how life works always.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgnSuRxPQG8

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

We’ve exclusively been given a pre-release clip of Rick Neuheisel Football for the NES. The action appears to only be from the first half of a game, but you should get a pretty good idea of what the game involves. Stay tuned for further release info!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Goddard College graduate William H. Macy. I miss Fargo. I think I’m going to go watch Fargo. 

*****

• Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops got PAID.

• Stanford LB Shayne Skov is out for the season after tearing his ACL vs Arizona Saturday. Sad mohawk.

• UCLA will start Richard Brehaut vs Oregon State. Apparently, despite warnings from concerned fans everywhere, this game will still happen.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel thinks it’s time for Notre Dame to go conference HAM on college football.

• The Sugar Bowl has been a-bribin’.

• South Carolina received a notice of allegations outlining alleged illegal player benefits.

• ESPN‘s bloggers reminisce about the weekend that was. Again, probably the best Road Test Weekend EVER.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly aligns conference pods and draws comparisons to politicians. It’s all too much for me to handle at once.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a simple remix of movies to include Tom Selleck’s mustache. I’m fine with this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxhqVrbixZc

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy, alumnus of the road, that’s what. Also he sings Black Eyed Peas songs way better than anyone else.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd says Texas overplayed its hand with the Longhorn Network. Dennis Dodd would be correct.

• Louisville will see your two-headed QB monster and raise you a triple.

• UCLA lost its center to sweet lady ganja for a game.

• LSU WR Russell Shepard will now sit three games.

• Arizona State will black out Friday night.

• ESPN‘s bloggers are very specific about what they want you to watch this weekend. Don’t cross them.

• Said bloggers also do some old fashion predictin’.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall has a Week One Alphabetical. Get silly, folks.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder says Baylor just wants to make sure Baylor gets taken care of.

• Rick Neuheisel may be the only one who cares at UCLA. About right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for More than Me, a documentary about comedian Jim Breuer taking his 84-year-old dad on the road with him.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVaQBSKHvfw

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan kick off their fourth season as hosts of The Solid Verbal by reviewing the news of the week, reading a handful of Verballer messages, and previewing the biggest games of 2011′s opening weekend.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vassar attendee Anthony Bourdain. If you haven’t seen this week’s No Reservations in Cajun country, you must hate food. Or have other, more interesting things to do with your time.

*****

• Texas A&M will apply to leave the Big 12. Hurray.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd likes Oklahoma as a wire-to-wire #1 team. Or he just needed to write a column.

• Eight Miami players have been suspended for the season opener at Maryland. Guess Jacory Harris‘s confidence will have to wait another week.

• Oklahoma State is down two players for their opener Saturday. They’ll be fine.

• Joe Bauserman is your new Ohio State starting QB. It’s the sort of news that makes you gently nod your head and quietly say, “That’s reasonable” to yourself.

• SmartFootball’s Chris Brown breaks down the “inverted veer/dash read.” You may have seen it run by such undefeated teams as TCU and Auburn. Good enough.

• ESPN has “Sweet Beginnings,” which is either a series of profiles about new players and coaches, or an uncomfortable foray into graphic stories of passion.

• UCLA will play two QBs against Houston. It’s just what they do.

• Wondering about B1G Leaders? Wonder no more.

• Ditto Legends.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples talks Jarrett Lee.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel works overtime.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is John Kransinski and Alec Baldwin and their tomfoolery. Worth it for 9-1-2.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EUTEPFq5iQ

Enjoy your Wednesday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Longhorn Network mascot McConaughey. Big week for him.

*****

• Miami QB Jacory Harris thinks he’ll be playing in a week. I imagine it’ll be just that easy.

• Also, Harris admires penguins, so there’s that.

• ESPN has conference power rankings. They got the SWAC all wrong. Typical.

• Texas A&M has around a week left before they’re OUT (maybe).

• ESPN’s Ted Miller advises against counting Rick Neuheisel out. The Solid Verbal’s Dan Rubenstein says do whatever you want.

• ESPN’s Ivan Maisel profiles Stanford coach David Shaw and David Shaw’s dad. Aw.

• The Daily says Texas A&M is screwing everything up for everyone. About right.

• LSU‘s 2010 offense totally wasn’t Gary Crowton‘s fault, confirms Gary Crowton.

• SI.com’s Richard Deitsch leads a CFB TV roundtable. Interesting stuff.

• Oregon‘s starting a RS freshman at center against LSU‘s defensive line. Pray for mojo.

• USC LB Chris Galippo is healed and 100%. Translation, he’s feeling better and at around 78%.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an adorable baby jaguar. Feels right.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWkIMUfamxI

Enjoy your Monday. IT’S GAME WEEK.

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Ty and Dan talk with Ted Miller from ESPN.com about the newly-expanded Pac-12, the immediate impact of Utah and Colorado, USC’s defense, Arizona State’s role as frontrunner, Stanford without Jim Harbaugh, and Oregon’s chances of repeating.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the number one Miami fan (and graduate) in national TV news, Chuck Todd. I’ll bet he’s working for the weekend.

*****

• The death penalty has not been broached by the NCAA re: Miami.

• There is no NCAA realignment summit, according to NCAA president Mark Emmert. That’s what they want you to think.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris will miss some time (and possibly BC‘s opener) after undergoing knee surgery. This hits close to home — we feel what Spaziani feels.

• Miami coach Al Golden wanted a little heads up, that’s all.

• LSU coach Les Miles now says WR Russell Shepard could possibly sit out the Oregon game after all while his compliance issue gets sorted out. Oops.

• Florida released a statement indicating that their players mentioned in the Yahoo! Miami report are cleared to play. Whew.

• Same goes for Kansas State’s Brown brothers, they of paper and high school fame.

• ESPN’s Chris Low asks Auburn QB questions. I’d answer, but my lawyer has advised me against any such action.

• Wisconsin AD and former coach Barry Alvarez (and son) lost over a million dollars to the Ponzi scheme of former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro.

• Former Miami AD Paul Dee wanted the guillotine dropped on USC. He has some ‘splaining to do.

• I apparently went to the wrong UCLA practice.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews the “invisible” USC Trojans.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder has a Pac-12 preview.

• Central Florida has mail!

• Penn State still needs a quarterback.

• Nebraska CB Alfonzo Dennard has a bum leg. Not an actual bum’s leg, but rather just an injury. I’m positive you needed that clarification.

• TCU QB Casey Pachall (“Pa-ha” is what I’m told) has a bum shoulder. This one ACTUALLY IS a bum’s shoulder.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy dancing with a bottle opener in front of a cheetah mural. A senior citizen makes a cameo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkdIVJ3Nngo

Enjoy your Thursday. Support support support. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Because I find it tiresome when people attempt to talk about a subject without seeing it up close and forming an (occasionally) informed opinion, I decided to brave the 77 degree (!) heat and the immortal 405 freeway and make my way to beautiful Westwood, CA to catch UCLA as they opened fall practice Monday afternoon.

I expected energy, urgency, fire, and unreasonable parking prices. What I got was a reprimanding tweet from the UCLA athletic department about my tweeting re: warm-up music … and unreasonable parking prices. Here is my story:

On my way to UCLA on the 405 freeway (South). At first glance, it appears to be any other freeway in a major city. Don’t be fooled — it has been, is, and will always represent all that is evil in Los Angeles.

Nine dollars to park on UCLA‘s campus from 3:30-5:00 PM. If the Bruins are even average this year, you’ll be able to get into the Rose Bowl for less in November. I’m the sucker in this equation.

At first glance, the Bruins are as talented a 3-on-3 (no pad) pistol football team as anyone in the country. Guaranteed.

On every campus, a football coach exists that, at one point, noticed that Stone Cold Steve Austin existed, and felt thusly inspired. This is the Westwood incarnate.

Say what you will (and I will) about UCLA‘s football team, but their hydration staff (left side) is second to none — quick reactions with shoulder straps and cases of water –all while wearing professionally pressed khakis in 77 degree weather (with a breeze!). I hope the scholarship office is taking notice.

No need to adjust your display settings, Big Joseph Fauria (TE #8) is 8’2″ tall. In a perfect world (with a decent, healthy QB), he’d be unguardable in the seam. We do not live in that world.

You can knock UCLA‘s staff all you want, but as brief joggers, they’re as fundamentally sound as any group of middle-aged coaches in America. Period.

The UCLA defensive line simulated snaps against trash cans. After some brief struggles, they DOMINATED the slow-moving barrels. Salty.

The cans needed a much needed break after some intense drilling. Read that back, if that’s not the best (originally unintentional) “That’s What She Said,” well, I’ll try for a better one next time.

The media was ABSOLUTELY ABUZZ mid-practice. Also, I meant to write CASUALLY LEAVING THEIR EQUIPMENT POINTING AT NOTHING instead of ABSOLUTELY ABUZZ.

I noticed a lot of terrific backpedaling. When you hear an announcer compliment the Bruins‘ ability to backpedal this fall, you’ll know where you heard it first.

The eye in the sky. You can’t imagine how much *golden* backpedaling footage he got.

The QBs huddle and discuss what I assume are the latest in orthopedic surgery trends.

It’s not often you get to see somebody stretching their quad in the foreground and (I’m assuming) a Sim City-esque power plant in the background. (There’s no way I’m right about this)

The camera was put on shed duty. My goodness, if anything exciting happened with UCLA Football and that shed, KABC was getting a gangbusters exclusive.

Rick Neuheisel is in the yellow hat. I’ll paraphrase when I tell you that he was displeased with underthrown, dropped balls in QB drills.

My oddly obese shadow makes a 2011 win prediction for the Bruins. Harsh.

The fan energy on the field was downright electric.

He warmed up with the third string OL. Showed flashes.

When you combined the weather, the polite fan reactions, and the quiet nature of the players themselves, it wasn’t unlike watching a college football practice in The Hamptons. Even I was surprised to see the players snacking on delicate crustinis during water breaks.

Enough was enough, time to wander around the constant UCLA construction and get back to my car before being charged $47 for getting back too late. This was behind the in-renovation Pauley Pavillion.

WAIT! I got my loud, passionate sports fix after all! Thanks, nearby UCLA rec rugby game!

Aaaand a ten minute wait on Wilshire just for the right to sit on the 405 once again. CBS’s Bryan Fischer probably reacted to this best.

Go fight win. See you again soon.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college person Marisa Miller, who appears on Camera Guy Dave’s show, The Daily Habit. He’s now Producer Dave. Take pity on him.

*****

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno suffered shoulder and hip injuries after being run over during practice yesterday. Not cool, WR just doing his job like he’s supposed to, not cool.

• SI.com dares to go inside the private world of Urban Meyer. It appears there are more smiles (and mustaches) there than in the Urban Meyer public world.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has UCLA practice notes. Mine will be coming out here shortly. His are far more informative.

• Texas S Christian Scott was arrested for misdemeanor assault. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. (etc)

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Texas and comes to the conclusion that he has no idea what to think. Perfect.

• Upcoming guest and ESPN Big 12 blogger David Ubben ranks conference LBs.

• He then breaks down Big 12 QB competition, which isn’t the same now that Kansas’s Kale Pick is now a WR. RIP Most Unfortunate Last Name for a QB.

• The Pac-12 only has one QB battle (UCLA). “Battle” may be too strong a word for anything happening in Westwood right now.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff does the same in the SEC. DRAMA.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel and Andy Staples have ten reasons to be excited about college football. Number 11? Staples/Mandel collabo column. Duh.

• ESPN has interviews with conference commissioners. They’re as exciting as you think they are.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s Rob Moseley has an Oregon practice update.

• Georgia LB Jarvis Jones has been cleared by the NCAA.

• It’s SEC Week in DrSaturdayville. Read, absorb, learn.

• Nebraska has a WR/QB. I’m officially calling the position a “Qwibber” (QWBR).

• Rivals previews the Pokes. Yee-haw.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is world record parallel parking. Yes, that exists.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeFNunnYiKY

Enjoy your Tuesday. Fashion!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Stiller, brief UCLA attendee. Fockers aside, I’ll still watch Zoolander whenever/wherever.

*****

• LSU OC Steve Kragthorpe is stepping down as LSU’s offensive coordinator, but will continue to coach QBs after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. This is awful. The absolute best to him and his.

• The first USA Today Coaches’ Poll is out. You can’t imagine how much it means. Mostly because it means nothing.

• Parlazed Rutgers DL Eric LeGrand spoke to SportsCenter about his recovery. Always awesome.

• The B1G will go to nine conference games in 2017. Let’s all take a moment to remember Eastern Michigan.

• Texas WR Malcolm WIlliams is leaving the Longhorns.

• Butch Davis offered a UNC scholarship (written) to his QB son Drew before he got let go. Naturally, UNC chancellor Holden Thorp committed an NCAA violation talking about how mad it made him.

• UNC DL Brandon Willis just likes the road, man.

• Purdue has new, über plain uniforms. About right.

• Four Big East teams open camp today. ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has quick hitters.

• She does the same for BYU, which I have taken to phonetically pronouncing “Bayou” out loud just to spice things up.

• The Iron Bowl is being used to arrest deadbeat dads (complete with a fun soundtrack!). Really.

• Rivals has DL rankings. SALTINESS ABOUND.

• Auburn may utilize a redshirt freshman RB who checks in around three bills. DO IT.

• SI.com contributor George Schroeder examines Larry Scott’s ability to further expand the Pac-12.

• South Carolina isn’t down with the Twitter. #SadTweet is a real thing.

• Dr Saturday‘s Pac-12 Week continues with the Oregon schools and hot seats. #SadNeuFace

• Trans-conference robbery is a real thing!

• USC practice opened up last night. We could be setting our watches to Baxter Time for at least a few quarters, at which point he’ll probably just wander off somewhere.

• Rivals has a Big East preview. Where have I seen this before? That’s right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dude traveling the world, six frames at a time.

Enjoy your Friday. Shirts increasing in volume next week, buy now to tell your friends you bought when it was cool.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by USC attendee Ron Howard, who had a similar run-in with TMZ to Marc Tyler’s, only his was way more graphic.

*****

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly gave his first extensive comments since Yahoo!‘s most recent Will Lyles story. Not much was said.

• Alabama *officially* has nothing to do with T-Town Menswear, the outfitter that definitely didn’t do anything wrong with current and former Tide players.

• The Mountain West has arbitrarily decided that Boise State can’t wear their all-blues at home. Because really, what you want to do when you lose your biggest team and gain a new signature team, you’d like alienate the new guys as soon as possible.

• Former Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor has a clearer path to the NFL’s Supplemental Draft — the Buckeyes want nothing to do with him.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck will only play one more year for Stanford, surprising no one.

• UCLA QB Brett Hundley will be out for about a month after tearing meniscus in his right knee. The Bruins is exactly on schedule.

• Florida RB (and noted sprinter) Jeff Demps will play football this fall. Quickly.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks to Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops at Big 12 media day about losing. Exciting stuff.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has decided robots are the way to go for college football. It’s all fun and games until the video replay machine kills somebody.

• ESPN has choice quotes and storylines from Big 12 media day (Day 2). Lapel pins wowed the masses.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller is all up in Stanford QB Andrew Luck’s beard. And I don’t blame him.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt talks to ESPN’s Chris Fowler al fresco.

• Clemson QB Tajh Boyd got in an early dig on South Carolina. I like.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly loves him some pig sooie.

• I see what you did there, Georgia Tech. Clever.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has a Minnesota preview. It includes a painful MarQueis Gray pun (but is otherwise very good).

(Michigan and Iowa are also ready for knowledge-gaining)

• Rivals has a West Virginia preview. I’m choosing to pronounced probable star WR Ivan McCartney “Ee-vahn,” mostly because I can.

• Tate Forcier is going to San Jose State (this week).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Baylor QB Robert Griffin not giving a crap. Go to 2:12 mark. (via Dr Sat)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAmEJ6qLN6Y

Enjoy your Wednesday. Drape yourself in fine cloth. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Miami attendee and Curb You Enthusiasm mainstay Jeff Garlin. Here’s to hoping that, at one point, Garlin yelled out, “IT’S ALL ABOUT DA U!”

*****

• Former Georgia coach Jim Donnan is accused of profiting off of a Ponzi scheme. I, I, I just have nothing.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy thinks that if USF is FOR REALZ about succeeding in college football they need to leave Raymond James Stadium. For. Ev. Er.

• Everybody, this is Russell Wilson … Russell, this is everybody. Hurray!

• Is Cal coach Jeff Tedford going and making things so complicated? Maybe?

• Today’s July 18th, which means two things — 1. It’s Vin Diesel‘s birthday, and 2. B1G specialist rankings ARE OUT.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller reviews Pac-12 linebackers. We’re all grateful he led off with ASU MLB Vontaze Burfict, not only because it’s deserved, but also because the safety of Ted’s family was probably at stake.

• Former Georgia Tech C Sean Bedford wrote an open letter to the NCAA that ended with him saying they could pry his 1999 ACC championship ring from his “cold, dead finger.” Well okay then!

• Years after Larry Coker allegedly only used Rivals to recruit, he’s bringing college football to San Antonio.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Oklahoma State. There’s a pretty good chance new OC Todd Monken is taking notes.

• Former Michigan WR Desmond Howard led a new class into the College Football Hall of Fame. Humbly.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel profiles Michigan coach Brady Hoke.

• As per my understanding of photography and art, Wyoming will be wearing giant, oversized helmets this fall.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has a very specific set of WAC predictions.

• Georgia‘s loading up on touted recruits. Probably wise.

• Rivals profiles first-year starting QBs who could maybe (potentially) win some games.

• UCLA is getting Vanderbilt CB Jamie Graham, which is pretty much the final puzzle piece for the Bruins.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is what happens when water jet packs don’t, um, jet.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=he2a4xK8ctk

Enjoy your Monday. Today’s Solid Verbal Apparel Day!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Southern Miss graduate Jimmy Buffett, who’s responsible for all of this excellent Mike Leach-Key West stuff. Good enough.

****

• Paralyzed Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand stood up. AWESOME.

• Ohio State AD Gene Smith figures everything’s cool now in Columbus. Ok then.

• It appears that Georgia Tech may have violated some NCAA rules. You have three options — stay tuned for more, stop paying attention, or keep the ball yourself.

• The NCAA isn’t done with Auburn. Allegedly.

• West Virginia OG Josh Jenkins will miss the 2011 season after undergoing knee surgery.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer profiles compliance. Pretty much the sexiest thing of the entire offseason.

• Football Study Hall has adjusted strengths of schedule. I don’t know if Bill Connelly has kids, but if he does, I have a feeling he’s constantly disappointed with their F/+ rating.

• ESPN debates what motivates the SEC and B1G. The piece is accompanied by one of the most attractive pictures ever to be featured on ESPN.

• Now that you know how secondaries in the Big 12 are ranked (in July), you may move on with your day.

• John Legend likes Ohio State. The universe just balanced out a little. “Take that, talented guy who dates supermodels!”

• Fox Sports West profiles USC WR Brice Butler.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly contends that Oregon State has misplaced aggression, which is one of the worst types of aggressions there is.

• Syracuse coach Doug Marrone is an outstanding human.

• They’re dropping like flies in Tempe. Slutty, slutty flies.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it and then talks with Maryland coach Randy Edsall. The multiple hustles continue!

• The sweatervest is alive and well in Ohio.

• Utah OC Norm Chow will make $500,000 to not coach at UCLA. Good gig if you can get it.

• Rivals looks back at all of the 5-stars of the “Rivals” era. You’ll learn who wins “Best Five Star” at the upcoming Rivies.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Seth Meyers monologging (sp?) at the ESPYs last night. I didn’t watch the whole thing. Mostly because I wanted to do something else.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGrq5RJ-wYw

Enjoy your Thursday. Shirts!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mary-Louise Parker, former North Carolina School of the Arts student. And Weeds star. And … I lost my train of thought. She probably doesn’t know about Butch Davis’s troubles, and I don’t care.

*****

• North Carolina pretty much broke every rule. Total bad boys of the ACC, for sure.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel thinks UNC coach Butch Davis will survive. Basically, he’s a T1000.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks to Oregon coach Chip Kelly about the Ducks‘ ongoing situation with the NCAA. Win the Dodd.

• ESPN ranks Big 12 WRs/TEs and then SEC DBs. Trust me, you can’t overstate how huge the DBs are in the south.

• ESPN then ranks Big 10 QBs. Michigan QB Denard Robinson is apparently the best they’ve got.

• Pitt officially welcomed Ohio State LB transfer Ejuan Price into their awaiting arms.

• Auburn got blung (past tense of a new verb).

• Football Study Hall cracks open the UNC door and notices that things got better as games went on. Also, things could potentially get much worse.

• New lesson: Always give Rick Ross credit in your tweets.

• Oklahoma St is building a $16 million practice facility. Psh, I bet they don’t even have an organic juice bar built in.

• Rivals talks to former Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez.

• Ohio State president Gordon Gee stood before a group of nuns and apologized for using “Little Sisters of the Poor” in vain. Whattaguy.

• UCLA OL Stan Hasiak is academically ineligible, which I believe brings him to seven strikes.

• LSU coach Les Miles pretty much owns an 8-foot basketball hoop. His young daughter stood no chance.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Tom Hanks doing an impromptu weather report. For Spanish-speaking TV.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeOG5tN-Hu8

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy MORE things.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former UCLA attendee and noted insane person Nicolas Cage. It’s about time.

*****

• Does Ohio State AD Gene Smith want to hire private detectives to tail Buckeye football players? Um, possibly.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd has ten facts about the Rose Bowl. My weird Rose Bowl fact: It’s the best place to see a game in January, but probably the worst September through December.

• North Carolina players have accrued over $13,000 in parking tickets. That sort of thing requires a professional-level ability to never, ever give a shit.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris is at a non-Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony crossroads, says the Register-Guard’s George Schroeder.

• MGOBLOG compares Ohio St to USC. In a completely reasonable, unbiased way. Mostly.

• After an unfortunate reference to Aaron Douglas (removed shortly after posting), ESPN’s Edward Aschoff ranks SEC offensive lines.

• The ACC is very happy with their dainty debutante schedule, thank you very much.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg ranks Big Ten running backs. He separates Wisconsin‘s two headed monster, which is a testament to just how cruel and unusual Adam Rittenberg truly is.

• Colorado C Mike Iltis is retiring due to both injury and academic concerns, making him the 18th player to leave the Colorado program this offseason. That doesn’t feel like a normal number, does it?

• Lost Letterman ranks college football’s top transfers. I hope Kansas State RB Bryce Brown makes the list again in two years.

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik was kind of surprised he was hired two years ago, too.

• Incoming Ohio St linebacker Ejuan Price requests permission to become “Former Ohio St linebacker Ejuan Price.”

• Notre Dame is getting a network. You probably won’t watch it.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a completely insane remix of The View. I have no idea, either.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLR614kge4w

Enjoy your Friday. Buy apparel.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UC Riverside alum and Hangover Part 2 actress Jamie Chung. Chung is attractive and UCR is known has the Highlanders and their bear mascot has a half blue face to honor William Wallace. No part of that sentence was invented in any way.

*****

• Former Ohio State WR Ray Small sold his Buckeye memorabilia while still enrolled and on the team. I just hope Jim Tressel doesn’t fire E. Gordon Gee. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg puts it into context.

• USC‘s appeal of the NCAA‘s 2010 decision was straight Mutumbo’d. Remember USC’s 2004 BCS title? Wrong, you don’t.

• Is the Big East expanding? Could they add another school in Texas or the service academies? Find out next time on “Maybe?”!!

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel explains why Alabama is his preseason #1. He surmises that their outstanding good players will impact their fortunes.

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen and WVU AD Oliver Luck agreed that Holgorsen’s mystery actions were “inappropriate.” Stop with the teasing already, Morgantown.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt appears to be selling his lake house because he’s a charitable human being. I’m ok with this.

• LSU is “oozing” with talent. DC John Chavis illustrates this, um, accurately in the attached photo.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff addresses SEC QB battles. Apparently, nobody knows who’s going to throw for a crapload of INTs in Oxford yet.

• Fox Sports, with an assist from a photo gallery of ACC cheerleaders, profiles new Clemson QB Tajh Boyd, Boyd, by all accounts, had a mostly horrific spring, though it’s oddly not mentioned here at all. But the cheerleaders definitely are.

• Football Study Hall has your stinkin’ numbers right here, UCLA. And they really are quite stinkin’.

• A high school freshman has eight major verbal scholarship offers. This can only end well.

• Indiana football is going to be different this time. Honest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a clip from last night’s amazing NCAA South Park (via EDSBS).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVfiaVM0ap8

Enjoy your Thursday

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Hugh Grant, Oxford graduate. He is awarded this honor because apparently, two important people are getting married in England this week. Also, Grant is foppish. I think somebody actually invented the word “foppish” to describe Grant.

*****

• Ohio State officially received its notice of allegations from the NCAA, who are total HATERZ.

• More Florida players favor herbal remedies. Oh and pot. Lots of pot.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini signed a new contract a few weeks ago. I was sworn to secrecy, but one major incentive includes provisions for a curved hat bill that surpasses all geometric laws.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi wasn’t exactly wowed by the passing display put on in Ohio State’s Pryor-less spring game. He was, however, smitten with Jim Tressel’s boots.

• Rich Rodriguez spoke to CBS Sports bloggers about various football and personal topics. I didn’t read everything, so I’ll just assume he accuses most of the Michigan athletic department of being furries.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with Wisconsin’s running backs. West Coast Kevin may be right in openly wondering why we’ve never seen Rittenberg’s legs. The smart money is on him as a hovering Big-10 blogger.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller very politely points out that UCLA wasn’t very good in its spring game Saturday night.

He also accidentally becomes half of the greatest college football video screengrab of all time while interviewing USC defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin.

• FoxSports’s Lisa Horne reviews USC’s spring game. She was impressed by the secondary, which had the ideal assignment of playing against USC’s passing game.

• Oregon has specific spring game uniforms that feature camouflage and military-type ribbons. I’m given credit for the picture, even though I’m always roughly 850 miles from the Oregon locker room at all times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at Texas A&M and wonders if the winning belief is strong in College Station. He also rips six east Texas BBQ shacks for having too many vinegar molecules in their sauce. Perfectionist, that Staples.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it up for the first time this spring. He doesn’t seem to be as in love with Oregon as others might be at this point, which clearly points to him being a HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden, the Danny Almonte of Big 12 QBs.

• A site has been created with the sole purpose of trying to get Cam Newton to take a lie detector test. Newton would in turn receive one million dollars for answer four questions related to his recruitment. Must be nice to have so much disposable income without the cares of perspective, rational behavior, or basic intelligence.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Our Idiot Brother.” Paul Rudd’s sweater makes me giggle.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oglpsxVjRY

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Columbia alum Art Garfunkel. Why? Just look at him. He’s Art Garfunkel, damnit.

*****

• Ohio State AD Gene Smith talks about his “nightmare” situation with Jim Tressel.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart has ten burning SEC questions. If the burning continues tomorrow morning for Mr. Barnhart, I recommend a trip to a physician for antibiotics and a stern talking-to about life decisions.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel isn’t thinking happy thoughts about Auburn‘s immediate future. HATERZ!!

• Former Alabama RB Mark Ingram is your NCAA 12 cover model, beating out Auburn’s Nick Fairley and two overvalued NFL Draft prospects.

• Iowa State coach Paul Rhoads punches a moose. AC-TING!!

• If you guessed “deer antler” as the source of a secret supplement that Auburn players used last year to supposedly heal faster, you have chosen wisely.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson visited TCU and has some double dashes to report.

• She also got some voice time with Boise State coach Chris Petersen. The usual topics were broached.

• Iowa State doesn’t quite seem to have a QB yet. Here’s to hoping I don’t have to copy/paste that in early October.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg visits Wisconsin and spends most of his space explaining why the Badgers can’t really complete a pass yet.

• Fox Sports’s Lisa Horne profiles incoming UCLA freshman QB Brett Hundley. Apparently, he has a magnificent smile.

• Don’t drop USC QB Matt Barkley‘s passes or run the wrong route. Just… don’t.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa‘s achilles is coming along nicely. You know, for an achilles that completely exploded.

• New San Diego State coach Rocky Long isn’t a fan of Boise State’s blue turf. Boohoo.

• South Carolina hearts Phil Collins.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is proof that, even if you don’t like the Foo Fighters, a giant band playing in a random guy’s garage is always cool.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWciVk_-5eo

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU alumnus and brief Social Network actress Rooney Mara, one of the more eligible ladies anyone will come across. And by that I mean STRAIGHT. CASH. HOMEY.

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd remains suspended from the team (pending unknown Chip/Brian Kellyian hurdles), but will be allowed to enroll in school this fall. About right.

• Rivals is now considered to be a “scouting service” under new NCAA bylaws, meaning coaches and programs can no longer subscribe to the “service.” And in a quieter story, Bill Plaschke is no longer considered to be “credible columnist,” so it’s a violation for any fan to read his work Noted.

• Purdue K Carson WIggs nailed a 67 yard FG in the spring game. All 738 attendees got quite a show.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks LSU’s patience in Jordan Jefferson is fleeting. In tough times, though, it’s always important to think of the innocent, affected interceptions. They didn’t do anything wrong.

• And the Valley Shook has thoughts on LSU’s spring game. They’re feeling something weird in their pants when they watch the Tiger DBs. Acceptable.

• ESPN’s David Ubben visits Stillwater and gets a lot of Weeden.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller dapperly speaks to Stanford coach David Shaw.

• Illinois is trying to find a few great linebackers. Ok, pretty good. Ok, decent. Ok, willing.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has Florida spring game notes. It’s even painful to read.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Iowa notes. Vandenberg ahoy!

• Georgia OT Trinton Sturdivant tore an ACL for the THIRD TIME. Awful.

• USC WR Markeith Ambles simply didn’t show up at Saturday practice. Check the roof!

• Tim Tebow has a statue in front of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. It’s going to be weird for everyone when his furry sex dungeon is exposed. Perhaps I’ve said too much. Rawr.

• Fox Sports Florida profiles probable starting Florida State DE Bjorn Werner, a large powerful German dude. Advantage Noles.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder goes old school and profiles Arkansas QB Tyler Wilson. This has “Excuse to go to some BBQ place in Arkansas” written all over it.

• Purdue changed up their mascot, Purdue Pete, almost entirely because they’re incredibly lame.

• Colorado QB Tyler Hansen had a solid spring game for Colorado. In Buffalo-ese, this is otherworldly.

• Rivals takes an early look at 2011 scheduling. DO NOT READ THIS, COACHES!

• Oklahoma WR Justin McCay self-reported an injury. The Sonner spring game line is now off the board.

• “UCLA football player” is the new Spinal Tap drummer.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an adjusted Miley Cyrus song with terrible lip reading (on purpose).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii5IUihNuno

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Reese Witherspoon, one time Stanford student. Perhaps she was bummed that we had Jeff Tedford on and had a glorious time talking Cal football. It’s fine, Reese, we know where your heart really is.

*****

• Michigan State OT Arthur Ray is again practicing after the 2007 removal of a cancerous tumor from his leg. We wish him many healthy pancakes.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer visits Fort Worth to break down TCU’s revamped roster. I really did think the use of “revamped” would sound better than it did.

Speaking of which, take a look at TCU’s Rose Bowl ring. It’s essentially a bejeweled golf ball.

• Do you have the CBS Sports Network (formerly CBS College Sports)? Do you like Mountain West games? Have I got news for you!

• Bruins Nation breaks down the Pac-12 TV contract possibilities. Every single time the word “Fox” appears in print when people discuss this story, it bums me out just a little bit.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has notes on Stanford’s defense. I couldn’t find anything on LB Chase Thomas practicing the ol’ fake knee injury. Look harder, Miller. Look harder.

• Yahoo!!!!’s Dr. Saturday turns his QB focus to Darron Thomas, booger-pick and all.

• ESPN’s David Ubben predicts the Big 12′s 1000-yd rushers. A Bryce Brown sighting!

• ESPN’s Chris Low does the same for the SEC, but only lists Alabama RB Trent Richardson at #2. Do you not understand that he may in fact be better than Mark Ingram? Sheesh.

• Cal WR Tevin Carter left the Bears and returned home, the assumption being that Carter has no interest in continuing a football career elsewhere.

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney talks spring football. And classic American hairstyles.

• Mr SEC has the details of alleged payments and inappropriate contact between an Alabama booster and LB signee Brent Calloway. Fun.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the fake Windows 7 commercial with a storm trooper.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr04FBKPS9E

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Pat Sajak, Columbia College (Chicago) alumnus. I condsidered using him alongside Trebek in last week’s video, but there’s just too much damn clapping and crazy sounds behind his voice. Gotta keep it clean, Wheel.

*****
• Touted UCF QB signee DaMarcus Smith asked for his release just a few weeks after signing day. This is after a last-minute switch to UCF from Louisville. I’m guessing Smith is the annoying guy at the table who asks for a couple more minutes while everyone else is ready to order. Twice.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer previews Oregon’s spring. He has the audacity to use the word “Yruretagoyena.”

• Penn State DE Pete Massaro tore his ACL and will miss the 2011 season. And this is after WR Curtis Drake broke his leg last week.

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel signed things last week while weird looking people looked on. There’s no way this series of photographs can be described more accurately.

• Things are a-changin’ in Minnesota. KILLLLLL.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller attended a Utah practice and now he thinks he knows everything. Ok, he knows enough for six solid bullet points.

He also lists Pac-12 QB depth charts.

• Urban Meyer goes to a Notre Dame practice and watches them hit each in close confines. Settle down.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Nebraska practice bullet points. Only four, though. Point Miller.

• Lane Kiffin, actor.

• Football Study Hall statifies the Houston Cougars. You knew this was coming. Statify!

• FX will show a weekly game this fall from a pool of Pac-12, Big 12, and Conference USA games. Game changer. Something else.

• The Pac-12 is considering Sunday games if the NFL lockout continues. Fun.

• Illinois is having a series of practices this spring. Rivals’s Tom Dienhart confirms this.

• Rivals also previews UCLA and Rutgers. Yes, this is the meat of the Click Chorus.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best 90s Internet warning video I’ve seen all day. I now know that mustachioed sleeveless men are skeevy. Saved me a lot of time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yo_24bC_cM

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Travis Barker, alumnus of no college or university. With that said, he still has a hell of a tat hookup in Columbus.

*****

• As of now, Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has been suspended two games (Akron and Toledo) and fined $250,000 by his bosses for knowingly playing ineligible players and not fully disclosing his knowledge of their memorabilia sales. The NCAA is yet to fully investigate this and arbitrarily reach a decision of their own.

Here is THE Ohio State documentation and submission to the NCAA. Included is the email proof of knowledge by Tressel.

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach had such high hopes for Tressel.

• UCLA DT Brandon Willis is transferring to North Carolina after committing to Tennessee, enrolling at North Carolina, then transferring to UCLA. We’re all excited to see him exhaust his eligibility without actually ever becoming eligible to play.

• The Huntsville, AL radio host who said he had tapes of Cecil Newton got canned for not actually having them. Oops.

• CBS Sports is priming for Washington State’s spring. Same goes for you, Missouri.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at the questions that Virginia Tech and the ACC face in 2011. Some things you can’t unsee.

• Who are the ten best receivers in the SEC? ESPN’s Chris Low knows. EXCLUSIVE!!

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich went to a Miami practice and all I got were these bullet points.

• Some notes from Texas spring practice. Summary: Nobody knows much right now.

• Fox Sports Southwest examines the questions surrounding TCU’s spring and beyond. I’ll go out on a limb and say some Horned Frog will still wear smeared warpaint as eyeblack.

• An early look at the best non-conference games of 2011. And because it’s Fox, there’s a link in the middle to a site asking, “Are the girls of the SEC the hottest?” Not a joke.

• The Internet has demanded more Wyoming football players showing a camera around their homes and Wyoming football players have delivered.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jackass for Girls.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgwTU9-a_3I

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Ted Miller from ESPN.com about the addition of Utah and Colorado to the Pac-12, the personality of Chip Kelly, a Locker-less Washington, and the hot seat in Westwood.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ronnie from Jersey Shore. I assume he’s pro Monmouth in the budding QB mixtape feud.

*****

• Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville received a raise of $500,000 — an upsetting detail to the school’s faculty members, who recently were forced to take pay cuts. And agree to comb Tuberville’s fine silver hair once a week. Excessive.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel speaks with former current UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has a primer for Stanford’s spring. It purports that QB Andrew Luck is competent. I’m taking a wait-and-see approach.

• Monmouth QB Alex Tanney put together his own trick throw mixtape and claims to be better than UConn QB Johnny McEntee. Can’t we settle this like the American Gladiators would — on an elaborate TV set? C’mon, like CBS College Sports doesn’t have a 30 minute block to fill at some point…

• The NCAA will try to understand “recruiting.” And not a moment too soon!

• Former Oklahoma RB and subject of “The Best There Never Was” Marcus Dupree is now a wrassler. This can only end well.

• SB Nation’s Andy Hutchins is slowly releasing his Top 25. The good news? Central Florida is still Central Florida.

• ESPN’s Chris Low previews the SEC East and the SEC West. And then Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never 3D. Snaps!!

• ESPN’s Ted Miller explains the home field tiebreaker for the new Pac-12 championship game. It’s exactly how you imagined it to be, unless you made the leap that I did, and imagined an elaborate lingerie game to settle it. <—Perv.

Miller also profiles new Colorado coach Jon Embree, who is “Colorado to the core.” I know this because the profile includes a picture of Embree standing in front of mountains. To the core!

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray suffered a minor ankle injury that will almost assuredly not affect his playing career at all.

• It’s the offseason, so that can only mean one thing for Penn State — DANCING!!

• Cal may wear white helmets for a game in 2011, just like Stanford always does. Draaaaaama!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a baby getting drunk and destroying a bar full of puppets. Because why not, right?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cds7lSHawAw

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan examine the strange case of “Al from Dadeville,” the ballad of Rick Neuheisel, and the various assistant coaching hires around the country.  Plus, listener messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by SI Swimsuit model, Mrs. Dan Rubenstein. Or Kate Upton. I um, er, uh, I just, I. Oh bother. Let’s just assume she’s interested in college football, ok?

*****

• UCLA hired a defensive coordinator. It’s former USF and Cincinnati DC Joe Tresey, who just happened to be coaching defensive backs for the UFL’s Omaha Nighthawks. Can somebody say “coaching pipeline?”

• EDSBS has a list of the 35 coaches Maryland REALLY wanted ahead of Randy Edsall. WARNING: Ruffin McNeill‘s Ass-Belly Sweat is a mental image that won’t soon leave you.

• USF coach Skip Holtz sat down with ESPN’s Brian Bennett for an extensive interview. I didn’t read it in its entirety, but to be safe, just assume that there are hidden messages in Holtz’s answers leading to buried treasure.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich previews the spring for ACC teams in BOTH the Coastal and Atlantic divisions. Mid-February knowledge bombs aplenty.

• ESPN’s David Ubben does the same for the Big 12. With no byline, though, I can only presume… unless, oh no, WHERE’S HEATHER DINICH?!?!

• Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer hired son Shane Beamer to coach running backs. Here’s to hoping giant headphones get grandfathered in.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans has a behind-the-scenes look at Jadeveon Clowney’s recruitment. I’ll save you some time, it’s mostly about Clowney’s nonstop drive to perform well on his AP tests.

• Randy Shannon politely declined an offer to become Maryland‘s defensive coordinator. Oh, and you WOULD pay $1.5 million for the right to call plays for the Terps?

• There’s a possibility that the 13 hospitalized Iowa players could transfer and play immediately in 2011. I’m sure if it comes to pass, coach Kirk Ferentz will try to convince them to stay … six days after they decide to leave.

• Auburn players offer only the most competitive rates for paper-writing. Good for them.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart lists the ten programs he’s most excited to see this spring. Rivals also has primers for each conference.

• Kegs ‘n Eggs has the spring schedules for everyone.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, at its essence, pure swagg.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4T__lCzZgk

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Miami resident Anna Kournikova, who I assume will never be the same now that Tate Forcier is headed to her adopted hometown.

*****

• Tate Forcier decided to take his talents to South Beach after he claims Michigan AD Dave Brandon wouldn’t meet with him (though Brandon tried to reschedule). Now Forcier needs to find a new head towel.

• Oklahoma State hired Jacksonville Jaguars QB coach Todd Monken to be their new OC, the job vacated by new West Virginia OC/HC-in-Waiting Dana Holgersen. So if you’ve been enjoying the David Gerrard magic in Jacksonville, things are only getting … similar in Stillwater.

• Utah OC Norm Chow will make less money in Salt Lake City than he did at UCLA. I think he’ll be ok.

• ESPN lists their top 25 recruiters. Not a surprise, but most of the coaches coach for teams who have had at least some success over the years. And Clemson.

SI (24/7 Sports) does something similar.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with colleague David Ubben about Nebraska moving to the B1G Ten.

• Ivan Maisel is buzzing now that it’s the offseason. It isn’t nearly as titillating as it sounds.

• Wisconsin agreed to a Rose Bowl rematch against TCU in its home opener. TCU said, “Not so much.”

• A few Virginia players look to be a fightin’ bunch.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a post-signing day podcast. He totally stole Andy Staples from us, a guy he never would’ve known if it weren’t for The Solid Verbal. Pshhh.

• Speaking of which, SI.com’s Andy Staples does his best Captain Hindsight, and re-ranks the 2008 recruiting classes.

• Backup Notre Dame QB Nate Montana appears to be considering Montana (birthrite!!!) as a potential transfer destination. So says The Missoulian, my current favorite Montana-based newspaper.

• Rivals has a list of 250 high school juniors who could, quite possibly, be very good.

• Rivals also has a preview of Conference USA’s spring. FINALLY.

(Other conferences are also apparently available)

• ASU QB Steven Threet continues to recover from concussions suffered in 2010 and is thus doubtful for spring practice.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a kitty jumping around in super slow-mo set to happy music.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1vpB6h3ek4

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Cameron Diaz, everyone’s new favorite popcorn dispenser. Diaz did not attend an institution of higher learning. I see nothing wrong with this.

*****

• Tennessee S Janzen Jackson “withdrew” from school to address personal issues. Vols coach Derek Dooley appears to expect him to be back at some point.

Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday examines the legacy of Lane Kiffin’s Tennessee class.

• UCLA rescinded its DC job offer to Rocky Seto after he posted the good news on Facebook. UCLA fans then rushed to create fake Rick Neuheisel accounts and post “I’m still the head coach!”

• Georgia RB Washaun Ealey is suspended from all team activities. (checks watch) Right on time.

• ESPN’s David Ubben speaks with Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville about Red Raider recruiting. Yes, it’s the offseason.

• Ohio State recruit Chris Carter will not be charged for fondling. Whew.

• Scout looks at which incoming freshmen could have the most dramatic immediate impact with their respective teams. You won’t believe this, but they all have five stars next to their names.

• Former Miami coach Randy Shannon will reportedly interview for the now-vacant DC job at Maryland. The right way.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the greatest slip n’ slide ever created. Its slipperiness allows you to slide. Brilliant!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF_OQuu3Ap0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oklahoma alumnus Olivia Munn. I could be wrong, but head to head, I’m going with the Sooner recruiting class of 2011 to outlast Munn’s NBC show, “Perfect Couples.”

*****

• Rich Rodriguez talks about his time in Ann Arbor with CBS’s Dennis Dodd. If you can believe it, he’s a bit defensive. See what I did there? Nailed it.

• Alabama had a dance team girl retrieve faxed-in letters of intent during Alabama’s live video stream Wednesday. She was wearing her uniform and is attractive. Dun dun DUN.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini celebrated the Huskers’ great class on Signing Day by not holding a press conference and getting rid of some the staff members that brought in the 2011 class. Buzzkill.

• Florida QBs Trey Burton and Jordan Reed are no longer QBs in OC Charlie Weis’s offense.

• Undecided QB recruit Jacoby Brissett (West Palm Beach, FL) is rumored to be announcing for Florida tonight. And he would be a QB in OC Charlie Weis‘s offense.

• UCLA QB Kevin Prince is still hurt. I copy/pasted that sentence from an item in October.

• The list of players invited to the NFL Combine has been released. Upon first glance, I noticed the oversight of no Lafayette Leopards. They’ll make you pay, NFL, they’ll make you pay.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers analyze the recruiting cycle for the various teams and conferences they cover. I now know BYU has an incoming OT named Ryker Mathews, who is now my favorite incoming BYU OT.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has updated his too-early Top 25 after Signing Day. We can now all exhale.

• ESPN/ABC analyst Bob Griese retired from broadcasting after a 30 year career calling games. Now it’s just time to relax and enjoy life. And tacos.

• Touted 2011 OT recruit Cyrus Kouandjio still doesn’t know where he’s going to sign. I say we give the kid a break — have you ever had ONLY two years to make A decision. Exactly, back off.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) looks at how the roster of new coaches fared on their first Signing Day.

• The Class of 2011 is soooooo earlier this week. SB Nation’s Andy Hutchins looks to 2012.

• Auburn has behind-the-scenes video from Wednesday. Gene Chizik is a RIOT.

• Ditto for Illinois, though it appears there may have been technological snafus. Yeah, I said “snafus.”

• New SDSU coach Rocky Long is not a fan of BYU.

• Mitch Mustain will NOT be charged with selling prescription narcotics. Whew.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy wakeboarding through cranberries. Damnit, now I need some Ocean Spray.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGf6earGAOc

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Brandon Huffman from Scout.com and Chris Pool of ESPN and Scouts, Inc. to discuss all the action from National Signing Day, including the rise of Oregon and Auburn, the fall of UCLA, the marathon coverage by ESPNU, and thunder snow.

Because it’s much easier to just list things than figuring out a cohesive narrative, I organized a chaotic National Signing Day into three thoroughly unoriginal categories.

The Good

Florida State
Certain words come to mind when looking at the players Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher signed, but I’ll go with “unfair.” Depth on both lines has been exponentially secured for years to come and speed has been added to both the offensive and defensive backfields to further load (all from FL) what looks to be the ACC Atlantic division favorite for years to come. Despite all of this, the first thing I think about? E.J. Manuel better not screw this up.

Isiah Crowell
What’s better than announcing your commitment to the big school in your home state (Georgia)? Doing it with a puppy, that’s what. Shrewd.

Urban Meyer
Here’s what we want from our analysts – homework, opinions, and an ability to articulate both of these things in a clear, concise manner. Urban Meyer intimately knew what he was talking about (having recruited most of the prospects he spoke of), took clear positions, and seemed natural doing so 4-5 hours into an all-day broadcast.

USC
There are a lot of reasons why USC is an attractive place to play – location, opportunity, academics, tradition, and exposure come to mind. I’m not sure the promise of development, college coaching success, and program stability fall into that list, which is why the Trojans nabbing ten Rivals 100 players is all the more impressive. Somebody smarter than I now needs to place all this potential in “Potential Transfers,” “Potential Troublemakers,” and “Potential Somehow Reached” columns.

DeAnthony Thomas
Come on, you had to be expecting this here.

This VW Commercial
I saw it yesterday, so it counts.

The Bad

Iron Bowl Pressures
Noted prospects Brent Calloway (OLB) and Cyrus Kouandjio (OT) struggled with their decisions between Alabama and Auburn (and possibly New Mexico or Iowa in Cyrus K’s case) to the point that Calloway had to go into hiding before announcing (Alabama) and Kouandjio developed a nervous tick and couldn’t sleep in the days leading up to Signing Day. I’m assuming the daily phone calls from coaches and ‘round-the-clock harassment from competing fanbases didn’t particularly help. Cut to Kouandjio, despite announcing for Auburn, not sending in his letter of intent, as he remains unsure.

Savon Huggins + Michael Eubank
Two dumb announcement strategies (Huggins to Rutgers, Eubank to ASU) — picking up a hat and either putting it on or almost putting it on before deciding to don another school’s headwear. Weak.

Rick Neuheisel
Go to UCLA. Walk around campus any time of the year. If Rick Neuheisel can’t attract (alleged) top football talent to either stay home in LA or come to LA anymore, he’s doing it wrong. Well, he’s doing it wrong.

Class Rankings
A constant focus of the coverage, even though it’s impossible to realistically compare one group to another when schools have such varying recruiting styles and needs. The silver lining here is almost everyone agreed on a mix of the three or five schools who brought in the most bountiful haul. Even CBS’s Tom Lemming finally put his long-known Notre Dame bias behind him and agreed that … oh jeez, did he really do this again?

License Plate Decisions
Todd Peat, a defensive tackle from Arizona, who by all means may be a terrific human being, chose Nebraska over Arizona State after spotting a Nebraska license plate in his home state, which he interpreted as a sign to choose the Huskers over the hometown Sun Devils. This begs the question — how did he not see Arizona plates in Tempe???

The Uncomfortable

A Different Chris Carter

Ohio State received one less letter of intent than expected after giant OL recruit Chris Carter was arrested for “sexual imposition,” allegedly lying to girls about measuring them for ROTC uniforms. Excuse me, THE “sexual imposition.”

Mitch Mustain, Amateur Pharmacist
Well, that ends that story. Mitch Mustain: Signing Day to Signing Day.

Hokeriguez
Rich Rodriguez took part in an interview of new Michigan coach Brady Hoke. I couldn’t have been the only one to hear the Curb your Enthusiasm theme in the back of my head while watching this, right?

*****
Follow me on Twitter at @Dan_Rubenstein.

Ty and Dan are joined by Bryan Fischer from CBSSports.com to discuss all the latest recruiting news, National Signing Day, and how to balance bathroom breaks with prospect announcements.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by William and Mary alumnus Patton Oswalt. The Tribe went 8-4 and pretty much run the Colonial Conference. And I think Oswalt is funnier than other Tribe alumnus Mike Tomlin.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks, in light of the Iowa hospitalizations, heads should roll in Iowa City. CBS’s Adam Jacobi expands on everything on his own Black Heart Gold Pants (Iowa) blog.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer continues to update his “Eye on Recruiting” blog with the latest news, visits, and commitments. And it’s all freeeeeeeeeeeeee.

• There’s a rumor going around that Mike Leach could be Oklahoma State’s new offensive coordinator. ESPN’s David Ubben examines that rumor.

• Nebraska and Taylor Martinez‘s dad Casey ended their apparel licensing deal. Casey Martinez claims he initiated discussions, as he’s already made hundreds of millions of dollars from the deal and didn’t want to be a distraction to his son. Or that’s not it at all.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples kindly asks Mark Zuckerberg to shut down Facebook for the good of recruiting fans.

• UCLA’s LT Sean Sheller was granted a sixth year of eligibility — not because of a previous injury, the NCAA just felt bad for UCLA. Ok that’s not true at all.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday examines winning percentage and recruiting rankings. It goes pretty much as expected.

• Former touted USC WR Brice Butler is transferring, a Trojan rite of passage.

• Michigan coach Brady Hoke has started strong on the recruiting trail. In looking at Hoke, I’m not sure there’s any other way. He’s large.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Patton Oswalt telling a barf bag story on Conan. Exquisite.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Ty and Dan welcome back Bruce Feldman from ESPN to discuss all the offseason coaching news and his thoughts on Brady Hoke, Mack Brown, Will Muschamp, Rick Neuheisel, and Mike Leach.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Salma Hayek, alum of Universidad Iberoamericana, a school once again completely screwed by the BCS.

*****

• The East-West Shrine Game apparently happened. Here are some players that allegedly, even though there’s four years of tape on them, improved their stock playing in a haphazard, second-tier all star game.

• Two freshman Oklahoma starters (WR Kenny Stills, S Tony Jefferson) were arrested for misdemeanor DUI and “interference with the official process” respectively. Oh to be 19 and in Norman, OK.

• UCLA finally bought out OC Norm Chow, who was officially named to the same position by Utah. The Bruins hired former 49ers OC Mike Johnson, who can now tell budding recruits that they can be the next Alex Smith.

• Former Miami coach Randy Shannon interviewed for UCLA’s defensive coordinator position.

• USC finally made its appeal to the NCAA, which will undoubtedly result in something inconsistent with every other decision the NCAA makes.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich reviews the recruiting needs of each ACC team, which officially kicks off the two nerdiest weeks of the college football year.

• Now that that’s out of the way, here’s more nerdery with Michigan coach Brady Hoke working overtime to keep the Wolverines’ recruiting class together.

• Rutgers QB Tom Savage is transferring, but coach Greg Schiano won’t let his backup QB haunt him at a school that doesn’t play Rutgers ever. Sucka!

• Cal OC Andy Ludwig will take the same position at San Diego State. In a statement, Ludwig said, “I will call a dive, then a bubble screen, then a regular screen pass.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is yesterday’s Fat Guy TD. If I ever don’t post a Fat Guy TD, know that SolidVerbal.com has been compromised.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AegmORvD28

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Lance Armstrong — (alleged) doping cyclist, (former) Kate Hudson chauffeur, and (current) fan of the Texas Longhorns and, presumably, their new network.

*****

• The University of Texas and ESPN will team up for some sort of 20 yr/$300m network. I don’t know you fill all that airtime around one school, but I think we can all agree the world will be a better place if ladychaps make it to air.

• Former Florida DB Will Hill is excellent at Twitter.

• Michigan has added Baltimore Ravens DC Greg Mattison to its staff in the same capacity. Always smart to jump on a low-bar opportunity.

• Pitt coach Todd Graham is filling out his staff with multiple former Michigan coaches. The newest is TE coach Todd Dews. Yep, It’s that kind of Wednesday.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has the latest in a “soap opera” involving a below average LA college football program. Which one, you ask? Click and find out!

• SI.com’s Andy Staples wrote an All-Name column, revealing God’s Power Offer to the world. About time.

• All five suspended Ohio State players will be back in 2011. The Capital One Bowl is PUMPED.

• The Wiz has his ten favorite “classless” moments of the year.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is fighter planes doing fighter plane stuff. Bew bew!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEe3xfWfkG8

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by University of Arizona graduate Garry Shandling because I just remembered how much I love The Larry Sanders Show, and to a lesser extent The Mike Stoops Show. ANGER!!!

*****

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers list the top 10 moments from their respective conferences. It’s a collection of moments that made me sit back and think, “Hey I remember when I thought that moment mattered.”

• Auburn WR Darvin Adams is skipping his senior season to go to the NFL. You may remember him best as somebody you hadn’t heard of until Cam Newton started throwing the ball to him.

• Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden threw for a bajillion yards and did so with a ruptured tendon in his thumb. Which is almost as impressive as Texas QB Garrett Gilbert playing the entire year with only Texas players around him.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel runs down who has and who will be without returning, experienced talent. If I’m to infer correctly, UCLA is worse off for having Rick Neuheisel return.

• With National Signing Day approaching, Rivals looks back at their 2010 five-star class.

• A guy built a brick by brick replica of Ohio State’s Horseshoe out of Legos. Impressive, but you should see his fully-functioning Lego girlfriend.

• CBS Sports’s Bryan Fischer has a new recruiting blog on the site, “Eye on Recruiting.” It’s a good way to stay up to date without feeling your creepiest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best possible alternative to 3D — complete loss over the use of one’s eyelids. Hurray!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uef17zOCDb8

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Cecil Newton, a beacon of entrepreneurial spirit. I don’t like to use the word “hero” often, so I won’t here.

*****

• An array of hyper-talented players are hanging around college to (most likely) avoid NFL collective bargaining issues. Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd and Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon were yesterday’s surprises. Today’s? LSU QB Jordan Jefferson! Dun dun DUNNNNN!!!!

• Brady Hoke was introduced as Michigan’s new coach, after following what appears to be the best path to getting a great job — slave away as an assistant, then make a traditionally horrible team decent. Or be Monte Kiffin’s son.

QB Denard Robinson is undecided about how pumped he may or may not be.

MGoBlog’s Brian Cook has some thoughts.

• Tulsa’s Todd Graham is the new Pitt coach. And before you get excited about a big fancy Tulsa offense coming to Pitt, he’s a defensive guy who hired good offensive minds at a Conference USA school. So there’s that.

• UCLA has apparently parted ways with OC Norm Chow, who will apparently end up at Utah. The Bruins, meanwhile, are rumored to be hiring now former 49ers OC Michael Johnson. It’s at any point now that Rick Neuheisel will harmlessly take out an insurance policy against a 2-10 UCLA season.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rate the best/worst of this year’s bowl performances. Surprise! Nebraska appears in multiple “worst” entries.

• Miami is hiring Seattle Seahawks QB coach Jedd Fisch to be their offensive coordinator. If anybody has a strong opinion regarding this, they’re probably lying.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has an early 2011 top 25. It just doesn’t feel like mid-January without unwarranted Oklahoma inflation, does it?

• Nike is running an Oregon Ducks ad in local papers today. It’s neon-y.

• LSU OC Gary Crowton looks to be headed to Maryland. BREAKING: Maryland will hate their offense in 2012 after a year of false hope.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel responds to reader mail for the last time (this season).

• The Wiz has the salaries of bowl CEOs. You know, the guys that put on these games for the student-athletes and the fans and heroically take the leftover hundreds of thousands of dollars.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nice little compilation of product placement in movies. This item is brought to you by Dr. Pepper. Too obvious?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wACBAu9coUU

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Orange Bowl color analyst Jon Gruden. THIS GUY was a backup QB for Dayton in the early 80s.

*****

• Stanford shellacked Virginia Tech last night in the Orange Bowl. QB Andrew Luck was accurate, the line opened up gigantic running lanes, and coach Jim Harbaugh ducked questions about his future and asked that reporters please RESPECT THE PROCESS.

The Detroit Free Press is reporting Harbaugh’s future will come down to Stanford and the NFL — no Michigan plans.

And Michigan should be deciding on coach Rich Rodriguez’s fate shortly. Dun dun DUNNNNN.

In pro-Virginia Tech news, QB Tyrod Taylor did this.

• The Sugar Bowl is tonight. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has keys for Ohio State and ESPN’s Chris Low has keys for Arkansas. The rest of their coverage can be found here.

• Iowa RB Adam Robinson has been dismissed by Iowa. This comes after (wait for it…) he was arrested on marijuana possession charges. Who knows what kind of societal dangers he could’ve presented on MARIJUANA!!*

*Of course I have no idea if this is specifically why he was kicked off the team, he could also have been an awful human to everybody around him.

• LSU RB Stevan Ridley has been academically cleared to play in Friday’s Cotton Bowl. LSU‘s offense is expected to remain free of any direction or identity.

• MIssouri QB Blaine Gabbert declared for the NFL Draft. Makes sense. Indiana’s Tandon Doss, also declared. Less sense.

• The Big 10 was swept on Saturday. This video probably doesn’t make it any easier, midwesterners.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin is boring and “unemotional.” And?

• If you believe outstanding MS Paint comics, Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops may have sent his rival’s best coach to Florida.

• Former BYU OC Robert Anae will now run the offense for Mike Stoops at Arizona. I assume loudly.

• Pitt has to hire a coach. And, uh, soon.

• UCLA LB Akeem Ayers has declared for the NFL Draft. He’s the one that somehow did this.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart looks at how Oregon and Auburn may react to not playing for five weeks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features Top Gear launching a Mini Cooper over a ski jump. Of course it is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEebpG6P0SY

Enjoy your Tuesday + Sugar Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you, in honor of today’s Independence Bowl by “Broken Arrow,” the greatest of all the Air Force movies that happen to star John Travolta and Christian Slater of all time. Or the worst.

*****

• Last night, FIU beat Toledo 34-32 in the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl. The game involved a hook-and-ladder to save 4th and 17, a RB named “Adonis,” and enthusiasm from the broadcast team that can only be defined as “slightly above-average.”

FIU coach Mario Cristobol was pleased.

• Hawaii got killed by Tulsa Friday night in the Hawaii Bowl. Turnovers were prominently involved.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt suspended three players for the Liberty Bowl — RB Caleb King and two backups — for academic issues. Somehow, some way, the Liberty Bowl MUST GO ON.

• Georgia Tech plays Air Force in the Independence Bowl later today. They themselves will also be without three players for the first half (curfew infraction) and four others because of academic issues. Apparently in the state of Georgia, being academically ineligible for lower-level bowl games is the new black.

• ESPN also has keys and previews for tonight’s Independence Bowl. It’s all very exciting.

• Texas Tech DC James Willis may or may not be the new DC at Florida. But he probably is. I think. Ok, I have no idea.

• TCU and Wisconsin went to Disneyland. No report yet on which players got pineapple whips, the single best dessert to be had at The Happiest Place on Earth.

• A post Splash Mountain reaction from Wisconsin QB Scott Tolzien and TCU QB Andy Dalton. (via Dr. Sat)

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday ranks the best plays of the 2010 season. A good list, but a little too UCLA-heavy for my tastes.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nice collection of people getting injured due to snow and similar inclimate weather. Hilarity ensues.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAYexv4lnaY

Enjoy your Monday + Independence Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alumnus Sean Astin, aka Rudy, aka the guy from Encino Man, aka a hobbit of some sort. I imagine even Rudy isn’t thrilled with Rick Neuheisel’s wily offseason panic-fest.

*****

• Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen was named ACC Coach of the year a few weeks ago. The reward for his efforts? A nice cool can of Take the Buyout, You’re Fired.

He has yet to take a sip.

• Oh and Mike Leach will be the Terps’ next coach. Or he won’t. Either way.

• Three bowls happened. Yahoo!!!!! has the specifics.

• Troy‘s punter looks a bit different. Or the same if you’re a punter who could also be a bouncer and/or paper towel spokesmodel.

• It now appears that Tennessee DC Justin WIlcox is the favorite to replace Will Muschamp as Texas’s defensive coordinator. Big wristband to fill.

Enjoy the Texas coaching search in MS Paint. (via EDSBS)

• New Miami coach Al Golden is retaining some of former coach Randy Shannon’s assistants.

• UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel doesn’t even know the meaning of retaining. Ok, he probably does, but he also knows the meaning of “scapegoat” and “turd-polishing.”

• Oklahoma RB Roy Finch will miss the Fiesta Bowl with a stress fracture in his foot. The injury that RB DeMarco Murrary will suffer is still to be determined.

• Iowa DC Norm Parker, who missed a good part of the year due to some health issues (including having his foot amputated) will be back next season. Big time.

• Touted prep QB and one time Miami commit Teddy Bridgewater (all-name lock) will be taking his talents to Louisville.

• Auburn will definitely win the national championship. Just ask a local sporting goods stores.

• BYU killed UTEP. And one Cougar assistant brought a winning attitude to his nose.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a victory for large men everywhere. Ohmigod he’s gonna go!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyMBPDch9As

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you Nike founder Phil Knight. Thanks, Phil.

*****

• The official bowl schedule is out. I think we all remember where we were for our first Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl.

• The final coaches poll was released, and thus, we finally get to see each coach’s final ballot. It’s even more dumb and biased than we’ve thought all along. Hip hip.

• USC fans fought with UCLA fans because a football hit a car during the pre-game tailgate. It ended with stabbing. Officially, Reggie Bush is being blamed.

• Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer gets up, gets up, and gets down. (via edsbs)

• The AP’s Mark Long reports there are rumors Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen is being “eyed” by Florida. Or is using Florida to get, as Ty puts it, an eleventy billion dollar raise from the Cowboys.

• This has nothing to do with anything, but the first few paragraphs of this old CNN/SI profile of Dan Kendra are amazing.

• Given that the regular season is over, ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some pretty definitive power rankings. Oh and bowl overviews. And they’ve collectively made the finest guacamole of anybody ever featured here.

• The Texas Longhorns’ season, in MS Paint.

• And on that note, Texas OC Greg Davis officially resigned and two position coaches retired. Now Texas will go undefeated in 2011. Like for definitely.

• Ole Miss DT Jerrell Powe is going to play in the National Football League. Well, I guess we also thought that about Jevan Snead, so I’ll wait until April to say any more.

• Wisconsin‘s student paper named names. Of students bright enough to sell overpriced bowl tickets in what I’m assuming will be lousy seats in an uncomfortable stadium. Who wants to watch a game from an angle that makes it impossible to see Bret Bielema tasting blood?

• Word from Pullman, WA is Washington State is bringing back coach Paul Wulff. At least that’s what I can make of all those dots and dashes.

• USC student-agent Teague (Teague!!) Egan is now, thanks to NFLPA decertification, just a student. Oh, and a horrible person.

• Oregon play by play announcer Jerry Allen gets emotional during the last few seconds of Saturday’s Civil War. And if you know anything about Jerry Allen, you know that the fact that he was aware of the game clock status is something to celebrate.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel picks through the BCS storylines in this week’s College Football Overtime.

• Lee Corso‘s wacky mascot head has disappeared. Some clues have surfaced, but mostly, this story has made me want to dance to some Basement Jaxx.

• The Wiz has the week in shapshots, the week in video, and the new Colorado coaches arriving.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch.

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan review a handful of conference championship games and dissect a bunch of projected bowl pairings.

Ty and Dan take a look at the NCAA’s ruling on Cam Newton, TCU’s move to the Big East, E. Gordon Gee’s stupid comments, and the Miami coaching vacancy.  Plus, Verballer voice messages, e-mails and locks of the week.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Top Chef host (new season starts tonight) and Clark University alumnus Padma Lakshmi. Clark doesn’t have a football program, but damnit, just look at her.

*****

• Jon Gruden will apparently meet with Miami AD Kirby Hocutt today. I’m still not sure this happens and isn’t just a leverage ploy for an NFL job, but hey, I’m only ALWAYS right*.

*Except when I’m wrong.

• Donald Trump sent Miami president Donna Shalala another note recommending Mike Leach. Also, Mike Leach is recommending Mike Leach.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff isn’t sure if he’ll be back next season. It’s hard to tell — you know, because of the continued losing — but WSU has actually gotten better and could come close to a bowl next year. This makes me think that thse school is ready to scrap the whole thing and start over.

• Texas A&M has accepted a bid to play in the Cotton Bowl, where, presumably, they’d play Alabama or LSU and Colby Caillet will awkwardly serenade Mike Sherman. To honor the Aggies’ improved 2010 bowl bid, I’m wearing a regular ol’ t-shirt.

• More on USC student-agent Teague Egan (real name!) from The Wiz. Try making it through this without throwing up a little in your mouth. You don’t win a prize, but you do get the satisfaction of knowing a little bit of your soul has been chipped away.

• Nevada lost some dollars by beating Boise State.

• Clemson QB Kyle Parker will play in the Tigers’ bowl game. Not sure what Clemson did to deserve this, but take the information as you will.

• Florida‘s had a bad year. In all of it is proudly edited together here.

• Air Force coach Troy Calhoun isn’t interested in the Colorado job. And if Colorado hires former coach Bill McCartney, it will appear as if the school isn’t interested either.

• Florida State improved because it’s big dudes are good. OL Rodney Hudson is one of those big dudes.

• Illinois QB Nathan Scheelhaase is a redshirt freshman and isn’t completely horrible.

• The All-Mountain West teams are out and they’re … pretty much what you’d expect.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin says QB Matt Barkley will play against UCLA and points out that anonymous Pac-10 coaches are rooting for him against UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel.

• SB Nation’s Jon Bois takes to hating and appreciating kickers.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has bowl projections. I totally called Texas A&M to the Cotton Bowl a few items up!

• If Auburn doesn’t make QB Cam Newton available to the media ahead of the Saturday’s SEC championship, they’ll be fined. So weird to think about Auburn having to pay for Cam Newton. Hm.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features people getting hurt and humiliated in amusing fashion.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDg7CiHAPqg

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan break down a wild weekend that saw a monster upset by Nevada, a triumphant victory for Auburn, and a defining loss for Rich Rodriguez against Ohio State.  Plus, wackiness in the Big 12, closure in the ACC, and a host of listener Reverbs.

Ty and Dan deliver a super-sized episode, chock full of analysis for all the week’s biggest rivalries, listener e-mails and voice messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by legendary horse trainer and Arizona graduate (Major: Race Track Industry!) Bob Baffert, though I have no idea if he follows college football and has a horse in the race when it comes to Friday’s game at Oregon. You see what I did there? Comedy.

*****

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini apologized for his behavior and confirmed Taylor Martinez’s continued presence on the Huskers. He reiterated, “NBgHJ RN3GL JDaF K77GN&#*@3&* %&#$@(adf*#@!!”

• An Indiana prosecutor is investigating a sexual assault claim against a Notre Dame football player by a woman who died in early September in an apparent suicide.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James left the Cal game with an apparent leg injury and appeared on crutches in a walking boot post-game. He apparently practiced full-go yesterday and should be fine against Arizona on Friday. Upon hearing the news, Cal DT Aaron Tipoti instinctively fell to the ground.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck, Boise State’s Kellen Moore, and Auburn’s Cam Newton are your Davey O’Brien Award finalists. All well and good, but who’s up for this year’s Ken O’Brien? Oh, it appears to be only Garrett Gilbert.

• Speaking of which, Wisconsin RB John Clay, despite managing only 42 rushing yards (due to injury) in November, is a Doak Walker Award finalist. CBS Sports’s Adam Jacoby (correctly) takes issue.

• EDSBS’s Doug Gillett prefers to disagree with you regarding the biggest college football rivalries.

• ESPN’s Gameday will be in Stillwater for Saturday’s Bedlam game, forgoing the excellent idea to have Lt. Jim Dangle be the celebrity picker at Boise State/Nevada on Friday.

• The LA Times’ TJ Simers says it’s not looking good for UCLA OC Norm Chow. But Rick Neuheisel is doing a bang-up job!!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett compares Pitt RB Dion Lewis to West Virginia RB Noel Devine, two backs who have fallen in line with the Big East’s library-quiet presence this season.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris, the Eagles’ one offensive bright spot, could be out 3-6 weeks with torn meniscus. Plug in Kuechly!!

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rewind and fast forward. Because they’ve done so every week and it’s why they get paid Cecil Newton money.

• Want to see this week’s most famous golf cart? Of course you kind of do! (Impressive upholstery)

• Arizona will be down a receiver (suspension) for Friday’s Oregon game. And so will Oregon (injury). Both rock solid names, though.

• Oregon‘s building a new HQ for its football program. It’s expected to be inexpensive, modest, and devoid of any flash. Ahem.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) goes A through Y, and then just for kicks, goes to Z in this week’s Alphabetical. I enjoyed you best, Yale.

• Similarly, SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) tackles some schadenfraude.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney casts an updated Heisman vote because … actually, I really have no idea why.

• This week’s college football lines. Las Vegans (word?) seem to like the Crimson Tide of Alabama.

• This week’s screengrabs of the week (via The Wiz).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is almost guaranteed to make you a vegetarian (if yesterday’s didn’t) or some sort of bloodthirsty maniac. It’s essentially every kind of edible animal combined to form a delicious super-meal called TurBaconEpic. With extra bacon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xc5wIpUenQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brooklyn Decker, the wife of Nebraska fan Andy Roddick. She probably doesn’t have an opinion of angry Pelinis or Texas A&M ball-grabbin’, but she’s, uh, sorry, I lost my train of thought.

*****

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini was and probably still is steaming mad at everyone involved in Saturday’s loss at Texas A&M. And according to CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd, the guy who has a problem with everyone probably has some problems himself. I swear I came to this same life lesson while watching “The Hills” three years ago. Let’s continue.

• Despite rumors to the contrary, ESPN’s Joe Schad reports Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez is still a Cornhusker. Hard to tell if Bo Pelini is happy about this. And in other news, defensive coordinator Carl Pelini no likey shiny camera.

On top of all of that, their boss isn’t happy with either of them, and TE Ben Cotton got flagged for just wanting his balls back.

• Notre Dame LB Manti Te’o will play against USC this weekend with a busted honker. Until I see otherwise, I’ll just assume he got Marcia Brady’d.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin is “extremely hopeful” that QB Matt Barkley can play against Notre Dame with a high ankle sprain (X-rays showed no bone breaks). And just for kicks, Kiffin joked about how much of a disaster it would be to start some poor walk-on guy. HA, stupid walk-on, working hard and trying to earn a scholarship. LAME!!

• Former Oregon coach and current ESPN broadcaster Mike Bellotti withdrew his name from the Colorado coaching search. And in no way is it about the money or them looking in a different direction and him saving face. Couldn’t possibly be either of those two completely true reasons.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers issue some conference race updates, bowl projections, and power rankings. And then they break down last night’s AMAs. Not a surprise — Big East blogger Brian Bennett is NOT happy with Ke$ha.

• UCLA QB Richard Brehaut should be able to practice today after suffering from concussion-like symptoms during last Thursday’s Washington game. Because really, the right thing to do would be to rush a scrambled brain back to the field for your meaningless final games. Bra-Vo.

• In case you missed it, Illinois RB Mikel LeShoure went for 300 against Northwestern at Wrigley Field. And folks, Dan Persa doesn’t play defense.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck wants no part of your tackling efforts. Muahahaha.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel peers over the TCU/Boise State fence in his newest College Football Overtime column and looks at the other teams that are in line to the ol’ BCS screwjob. Essentially it’s one long implied middle finger at the Big East.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter was ruled ineligible by USC after riding around in a golf cart with an agent that USC had already told not to give rides to players. And now, there definitely isn’t a group of pictures of other USC players at a party thrown by that agent. Definitely not.

• EDSBS’s Holly Anderson (Peete) gives out stickers because stickers are cool. Everyone knows that.

• Oregon State fans are camping out to buy Civil War tickets. It’s hard to tell how bothersome the 28,782 fans (that show up) really can get for a big game, but I’d guess if they filled the stadium to its 45,000+ capacity, it’ll at least be a touch inconvenient for a spell.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart gives out Week 12 awards. Right now, Dienhart gets my award for best Week 12 awards column. So meta.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a Thanksgiving alternative that absolutely nobody should ever try. Or everyone. I keep going back and forth.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIzzx2OolfI

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan talk about LSU’s close call, Nebraska’s dud, a potential Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl, and the ongoing Dillon Baxter Experiment at USC.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Georgia State student Julia Roberts. Alabama may have the money, championships, tradition, and name recognition, but they don’t have the star of “Eat Pray Love.” Take that, Tide. Take that.

*****

• UCLA lost at Washington last night in a rather unimpressive showing. UCLA fans, much like Sammi Sweetheart, are DONE.

• Alabama mercilessly tickled first-year team Georgia State last night. Good for you, Alabama, finally standing up for the big guy.

• Due to safety issues, only one end zone will be used during Saturday’s Northwestern/Illinois tilt. This only adds to the rumors of an all-time QB and six-Mississippi count being instituted for the game. Here are similar jokes.

• Hawaii is probably becoming a Mountain West football school and joining something called the Big West in other sports. This appears to be the final nail in WAC Commissioner Karl Benson‘s “2010 Sportsman of the Year” coffin.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will be back in 2011. Apparently this is an actual story. Also an actual story — Appalachian State runs Urban Meyer’s offense … and plays Urban Meyer this weekend.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter was hospitalized for an “unspecified illness and dehydration.” We hope he has a speedy recovery from whatever it is that’s NEVER dehydration.

• Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen will be back next season coaching the Terps. I’ll file this under “Interesting CFB Story that isn’t Cam Newton/BCS,” as that’s where everyone else seems to be filing things.

• Boise State play Georgia at the Georgia Dome to open the 2011 season. Since it seems so far away, the only real effect this has is to remind me that there’s no Chick fil-A nearby. Thanks a lot, guys.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers select their conference’s best rivalry of the decade. Not a surprise to be found here.

• The Oregonian’s Ken Goe says Mike Bellotti can do a lot better than Colorado. Snap.

• Purdue DE Ryan Kerrigan is not a Nagurski Award finalist and this upsets CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd. Which isn’t nearly as bad as upsetting Ryan Kerrigan. You wouldn’t like Kerrigan when he’s angry.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel examines the coaches and ex-coaches that will be looked at for new jobs this offseason. Texas OC Greg Davis looks like the frontrunner for Calabasas High School‘s expected coordinator vacancy. Well, if he interviews well.

• SI’s JoePo likes JoePa. I’ve been waiting for so long to write that.

• Oklahoma has approximately 17 scholarship kickers and they don’t really like any of them. Oops.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a compilation of people introducing themselves. It’s better than my introduction implies.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEBIw0hHadk

Enjoy your Friday + College Football Saturday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by James Lipton, host of Inside the Actor’s Studio. I couldn’t locate where/if he attended college, but I’ve actually become pretty excited about the upcoming appearance of Cal’s defensive line on his show. ACTING!!

*****

• Florida coach Urban Meyer expects Steve Addazio to remain in place as the Gators’ offensive coordinator next season. And yes, that’s good news for Gator fans who can’t stand to see supremely fast athletes getting the football in space. That would be the final frontier.

• Wisconsin coach Brett Bielema is going to keep on scoring and it’s pretty clear he doesn’t care what you or Dickie V think. Fine by me.

• Penn State RB Silas Redd was cited for disorderly conduct at 4:13 am, a fancy way of saying he was taking a leak in public. Since Ty blessed Redd as his favorite NIttany Lion RB this week, I think we can conclude that the Hildenbrandt Reverse Jinx is alive and well.

• SB*Nation’s Spencer Hall spoke with ESPN’s Rece Davis about Rece Davis-type topics.

• EDSBS’s Holly Anderson (Peete) gives out some rad stickers to college football names. Even Dan Hawkins (who was actually AT Saturday’s Colorado game) gets in on the action.

• Washington QB Jake Locker “expects” to play against UCLA Thursday night. Adjust your Thursday accordingly. And watch a new episode of The Office or something. Man, Archer needs to come back like yesterday.

• Boston College’s Luke Kuechly is an outstanding LB, but since he doesn’t play for TCU or Oregon or Auburn and he couldn’t personally jump somebody in the BCS rankings, he doesn’t matter. La-la-la I can’t heeeeaaaarrrr youuuuuu.

Ok, Yahoo!!!!!!!! also thinks he matters.

• Fanhouse’s Clay Travis thoroughly explains why Auburn QB Cam Newton will 100% be ineligible. Finally, SOMEBODY starts writing about the SEC.

• Staying on Clay, Wisconsin RB John Clay may sit this week (@ Michigan) after missing last week’s Indiana game. This changes nothing.

• Utah, once thought to be a legitimate top 10 team, embarrassed itself and hurt TCU with its loss to Notre Dame. That’s right, Mountain West Conference credibility has been hurt because of a loss to a depressing team like Notre Dame.

• A predominantly SEC-centric writer and a non-AQ writer predict bowl matchups. Penn State-Florida could theoretically happen, which would ultimately require a Spencer Hall/Ty Hildenbrandt live play predictor showdown.

• Cal defensive linemen are prone to spontaneous cramps. And below-average acting. Cal Football: We may not win, but we’ll go down acting like toddlers.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the definitive lesson on catching wild turtles in Kentucky. I defy you to do better.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn8EQ0azXpQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan get together on Halloween and recap the Week 9 action, including solid road wins by Oregon and Auburn and tough road losses for Michigan State and Missouri.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Foot Locker. Why? Because it’s the most successful shoe store ever started by a referee with no hands, that’s why.

And because Florida State plays tonight. That’s also why.

*****

• A Notre Dame student/video assistant was tragically killed when the tower he was filming practice from was knocked over by tremendous winds. He posted updates on Twitter beforehand, it’s pretty haunting.

• Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon will be suspended for one game following Monday’s DUI arrest. Because the only real way to send a message that drunkenly driving 92 MPH in the middle of the night is unacceptable on your team is missing three hours of football.

• The Big 12 suspended Nebraska LB Eric Martin for what it perceived to be a helmet to helmet hit against Oklahoma State. Later, after careful review, the Big 12 also decided to suspend most of Boise State‘s secondary.

• Shirts are now available revealing Texas OC Greg Davis’s most secret offensive plays. Rejoice!

• Because successful college football coaches will be far too busy breaking down film to dress up in Halloween costumes this weekend, Michigan Zone imagines the possibilities.

• ESPN Radio announcer Dave LaMont gets a wee bit angry during Saturday’s Florida Atlantic game. And by that, I mean he challenges an entire press box to a fight. Good times.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers demand you watch for certain storylines in Saturday’s games. They then politely predict some outcomes. And finally, they have a pretty big question about some inconsistencies in “The Shattering.”

• Interested to see how SB Nation bloggers voted in their own top 25? Didn’t think so. But if so, SB Nation’s Brian Cook makes sense of it.

• UCLA bloggers have raised a fair amount of money for little Bruin fan battling cancer. They’re still looking to raise more money, so if you have a few bucks laying around, help a young fan stay healthy enough to watch as much college football as possible.

• SB Nation’s Avinash Kunnath walks you through the Pac-10 race as it unfolds during the second half of the season. It’s a handy, simple guide to have, since so many of the national outlets can be so overwhelming and go into so much detail when discussing the Pac-10. Lay off, guys, ok?

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel takes a peek inside the mailbag and he ends up talking about Applebees apparently giving him stomach issues. I think we’re all happy that Stewart’s still alive, actually.

• SI.com wants you to submit questions for Washington QB Jake Locker. Feel free to use any of these:

1. How soft are Mel Kiper’s hands?

2. Kirk Herbstreit says you look really good in your uniform, is this weird for you to hear?

3. How long do you expect the transition to take once you switch to linebacker at the next level? (joke!) (maybe!)

4. Is there any truth to the rumor that you’re legally changing your name to “Jake Locker Overthrows Him”

5. How good are you at hitting a curveball?

• ESPN put in a bid to run Texas’s proposed new network. Man, can you imagine how much the Longhorns are going to be GRILLED with all those investigative journalists having all that access? Oowee!!

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden has now passed a concussion test. I never understood why so much weight is put on the SATs and ACTs when so many (not all) college football players take the easiest major and have a ton of tutoring. Why not just give them concussion tests pre-concussions while they’re still in high school? I’m yet to hear a good answer against this — mostly because I thought of this four seconds ago.

• Here’s every Florida offensive play from the 2010 season. It’s kind of boring and slightly depressing. Perfect!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a young man breaking his leg. In face paint. Jumping around awkwardly on a stage in front of thousands of people. It’s not graphic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkE2BTjYFGQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Regis Philbin, who, in rooting for Notre Dame Saturday, is unequivocally anti-United States Navy. But probably for stomach-stomping. That rascal.

*****

• Tennessee coach Derek Dooley compared his team to the Germans in World War II. Improperly.

• Notre Dame lost to Navy on Saturday, but only if cheap stomach-stomps aren’t worth 20 points apiece.

• Michigan State CB Chris Rucker drove recklessly, which violated his probation, and landed him in the clink for about a week. You’ll notice a particularly witty line in the linked story about his “new teammates at Ingham County Jail.” It should be noted that those serving time alongside Rucker are not actual “teammates,” but rather, other randomly incarcerated people. Hope that’s now clear.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer isn’t too pleased with much these days, and that includes Gator practices.

• Texas A&M QB Jerrod Johnson may be close to losing his job to backup Ryan Tannehill. I get the feeling that a bunch of guys in camo are shrugging and find this to be reasonable.

• UCLA suspended two more players for violating team rules. I assume in this case that means they’ve been consistently blocking well and running crisp routes.

• Michigan QB Denard Robinson should be good to go against Penn State on Saturday. Unfortunately for Michigan, it’s no longer a month that ends in “-tember.”

• With Matt Simms hobbled by a sore knee, true freshman Tyler Bray has been taking the majority of practice snaps for Tennessee. Derek Dooley looked at it as being very similar to when the Mongols invaded Helsinki. Or something.

• CBS Sports’s Dr. Jerry Palm says Boise State should probably get used to the waiting game. But that’s the hardest part, Jerry. The hardest part.

• Fox Sports’s Peter Schrager says Texas and Cal are examples of how “crazy” this season has been. Except that Cal has been dancing on the fence that separates “wildly inconsistent” and “just kinda bad” for years now. Beating below-average teams at home and losing to decent ones on the road isn’t confounding.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans calls in on the ThayerLine to recap the weekend action. And because it’s Fox Sports, there’s cleavage, Tom Arnold, and penis jokes. Or so I’m assuming.

• How deep does SB Nation’s Spencer Hall roll? Try 26 deep in this week’s Alphabetical.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) and SI.com’s Cory McCartney debate the pros and cons of various free trade regulations. Ok, just kidding, they mostly repeat themselves (and each other) while discussing the Heisman on their respective sites.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day looks at how neat nature truly is. Really, it’s Neature.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm3JodBR-vs

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan talk about Mizzou’s big win, the rise of Auburn, and Navy’s dismantling of Notre Dame. Plus, Verballers ReVerbs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Arizona State attendee Jimmy Kimmel. It hasn’t happened yet, but if his show ever overwhelms him while on the air, expect the Sun Devil in him to take over, as he’ll flop around faking an injury in hopes that a mercy commercial break will be cut to. Go Sun Devils!

*****

• #1 Oregon beat #463 UCLA last night. Soundly.

ESPN’s Ted Miller was there and evaluated the goings-on.

Statistics were compiled and published. Just like Florida‘s offense but with more digits everywhere.

The Ducks used giant placards with hieroglyphics to call plays. Some of those placards had pictures of ESPN personalities on them, much to the amusement of ESPN personalities.

UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel was not amused by any of the above.

• The Pac-Twen division and championship game details have been set. Now let’s see if people will be able to watch the games on their newfangled picture boxes.

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd is questionable for tomorrow’s Navy game. Somebody has to say it — hamstrings are giant a-holes.

• If you’re a fan of Bruce Hornsby‘s piano playing, original lyrics railing against the BCS, and slow motion clips of college football games from the past decade, I may just have a link for you.

• Maryland OT Pete DeSouza hurt himself riding a scooter. Unfortunately, I read this article while riding on my scooter and am now myself injured. Meta-scooting is a bitch.

• The Big Tenelve is changing its championship tiebreaker rules, presumably after Texas was left out of the conference championship game in 2008. I’d love to be on board with this, but it’s become increasingly difficult to feel bad for Texas after they let whatever it was that Oregon beat last night run them up and down the field.

• Oklahoma WR Dejuan Miller will miss the remainder of the season after he tore meniscus in his right knee. The recovery time is about five months, but Miller should be back on the sideline in no time to see the Sooners start losing to inferior teams*.

* ©Bob Stoops.

• A National Guardsman (and Michigan fan) got onto the field with two unloaded M16 assault rifles. It really is a blow to Michigan’s sterling reputation as a state not having crazy backwoods militia types who care too much about college football. Oh. Wait.

• Auburn QB Cameron Newton admits that, despite his success and happiness at Auburn, his heart is still at Florida. This shouldn’t be taken the wrong way — he wanted to finish what he started in Gainesville with the friends he made during his time there. Well, there if Dan Mullen were still there. Let’s not go crazy.

• Two Arizona State football players stole laptops, an XBox, and some XBox games from a dorm room. It’s now officially the most national video exposure the ASU football program has received all season. Pac-10 TV deal!!

• SI.com’s Austin Murphy profiles Auburn QB Cam Newton. As you’d expect from an SI magazine feature writer, the words read good. Doi.

The site also has a midseason report predicting various end of the season outcomes. Apparently, they all still believe in rainbows, unicorns, and Boise State securing a national title berth. And SVBFF George Schroeder loves teams from the state of Oklahoma. Oowee.

• USC may run the some form of the spread offense next year. It’s October 22 and USC is talking about overhauling next year’s offense. Still, some brahs are stoked.

• Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett has been cleared to play against Ole Miss tomorrow after suffering a concussion during last week’s Auburn game. This understandably came as a relief to Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino, who couldn’t offer a quote, as he was running to catch a flight. Wait, did he say where he was going? Oh no … not again!!!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day honors the simultaneous existence of Skittles and bowling college.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjEnVfFmFtA

Enjoy your Friday + College Football Saturday.

Dan breaks down all the offbeat action from Week 7 including Steve Addazio’s playcalling, Nebraska’s proclivity for all things ‘drop’, the ways to stop Cam Newton, and tips on how to meet… European men.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=feWqfFFmnxs

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alum and Academy Award winning composer John Williams. It truly does speak to the man’s talent how much better UCLA game film appears to be when the Indiana Jones theme is played simultaneously.

*****

• UCLA plays Oregon tonight. Bruin fans are pretty confident. In Oregon’s abilities to destroy them without mercy.

Duck fans are happy to stomp some weasel, because, you see, we’ve altered Rick Neuheisel’s name to read “Neu-weasel” because of his weasel-y tactics while at Colorado and Washington. They don’t call Eugene, OR the birthplace of modern comedy … at all.

• TCU coach Gary Patterson, on the sideline of the SMU game last month, went after the team doctor who told him that star RB Ed Wesley had a concussion. The word “hero” is thrown around too much these days, but this story really makes you sit back and realize that the first part of this sentence has nothing to do with anything.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers college football mail. I wonder if he has a name for his readers/fans like we do with “verballers.” I suppose I could just ask him myself, but I’d rather just pontificate here. The obvious choice is, of course, calling them “fandels,” but I’ll let the process work itself out organically.

• Heralded (get it?) Miami freshman safety Latwan Anderson left the football team to concentrate on track and field, his actual scholarship sport. He appears to be done with football, and to be fair, it can’t be a coincidence that this is happening just as the House of Run podcast is blowing up.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers make their predictions for the weekend and focus in on what to watch. And then, they teach you how to get some killer splash action.

• Illinois DT Corey Liuget (pronounced LEGIT) was homesick. So Liuget told his mom, “I think I’m going to come ba-” and his mom was all like, “uh uh” and he was all like, “but…” and then she was all like, “uh uh.” And now he’s breaking people into multiple parts if they happen to linger in the offensive backfield. Legit.

• UConn QB Cody Endres has been suspended for the remainder of the season for an “undisclosed violation of school policy.” Just the price you pay when you steal the mascot from those jerks at Valley High.

Ittttt’s alllllright, cuz I’m Saved by the Bell! (piano)

• The Big 10 crown will be decided on the field in in Iowa City. Where the grass is green and the girls are … eh, not bad.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) runs down the goings-on in the world of non-AQ-ville. Because somebody has to.

• Texas A&M University President Dr. R. Bowen Loftin, well, just taught you how to Dougie.

• Syracuse fans raised enough money (with some left over) to bring 32 kids from the local Boys and Girls club to an Orange game — complete with shirts, food, and other goodies. Very cool. Your move, every other team.

• The recruiting class of 2011 was cool… in like 2008. 24/7 Sports (247 Sports?) has released their list of the Top 247 members of the class of 2012.

• Florida WR Chris Rainey may play next weekend when the Gators take on Georgia in “The World’s Largest Outdoor Formerly Meaningful Game.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of Legos in cool places. Because Legos are pretty awesome. Duh.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Marge Simpson, voiced by Julie Kavner, San Diego State alumnus. And if we’ve learned anything from The Simpsons, it’s that biased replay officiating WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

*****

• North Texas head coach Todd Dodge is out as the coach of the Mean Green. He was a decorated high school coach who made the rare move straight to a FBS head coaching job. This is why it’s rare.

• ESPN’s Ted MIller profiles new Arizona starting QB Matt Scott and then explains that Rick Neuheisel is still trying to figure out his own team, let alone their opponents. This isn’t going to end well.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) watches the Heisman Trophy from afar, like she’s in a college football Rockwell song.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has power rankings. Whenever I read this, I listen to Kanye West’s “Power” and pretend that Andy writes these in an effort to get back at his college girlfriend who dumped him at a Harvard bar.

And yes, I enjoyed “The Social Network.”

• The controversy over the replay officials in the now two week old BYU-San Diego State contest is still ongoing. The Mountain West has changed replay official rules and the Aztecs’ radio analyst seems rather displeased with the efforts of Cougar players to be not racist, horrible people.

• Tomorrow night’s contest between Oregon and UCLA will be the national ESPN game and it will be filmed in three dimensions. If you plan on attending the game, Oregon has politely requested that you don your finest lightning yellow evening wear.

• Alabama is getting a giant Australian dude.

• Wisconsin head coach Bret Bielema calls the Badgers’ brand of straight-ahead power football… “American football.” Fact: Anything out of the shotgun is for commies.

• ESPN LA’s Arash Markazi chronicles former USC WR Mike Williams‘s journey from top draft pick to productive NFL player. It seems there was a lot of napping and tater tot pizza in between.

• Are you a Nebraska fan? Do you need help dealing with your emotions post-loss? Do you refuse to eat soap? This call center may be for you.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is for video nerds. Apparently you can securely strap a small HD camera to yourself as you do extreme things. I’m still editing the footage shot on one of these from Verbacon. Wait until you see how it looked from an extreme first person POV what driving I-80 at speeds up to 76 MPH looked like, what zooming around a tailgate at 11 AM drinking Bud Light felt like, and what a stadium reacting to dump drops sounded like. Amazing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo3M6EB8kmk

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Missouri alum Sheryl Crow. She appears to be so happy DE Aldon Smith is coming back for the Oklahoma game that she’s gone full-on eagle. At least until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard.

*****

• Kansas coach Turner Gill may be sitting on a chair that has grown increasingly warm. I still remember the good ol’ days when getting blasted by 52 after having two weeks to plan for a rivalry game at home bought you some time.

Those were the dayyyyyyyyyys.

• USC and UCLA may make more money from the Pac Twen until a revenue threshold is reached. Damn, I thought today’s secret phrase was going to be “revenue threshold” and balloons and streamers would fly down after I typed it. But no, it’s just me staring at bagel crumbs and wondering “what if” to myself.

• The behavior of Florida WR Chris Rainey could be due to symptoms of a concussion. But probably not. I’ll wait for the Iron Eagle to weigh in.

• Missouri DE Aldon Smith will be back for Saturday’s Oklahoma game. Cut to Landry Jones frantically looking for a ruptured mustache on the Missouri turf.

• All Last Name First Namer and BYU WR O’Neill Chambers has been kicked off of the team due to “disciplinary reasons.” It’s now up to you, McKay Jacobson, to carry the Last Name First Name torch.

• UCLA QB Kevin Prince either won’t play or won’t be at 100% when the Bruins face Oregon in Eugene Thursday night. Anybody that’s seen UCLA play this year has no idea what this means.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney has Auburn QB Cam Newton atop his current Heisman rankings. The pick makes sense, as it’s been an enjoyable Heisman prediction ride this year — a veritable “Who’s Who” of first year starting QBs who will fade down the stretch.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rewind and fast forward all of their respective conference news. They also join ESPN’s Erin Andrews in a big group breaking down all of the coolest dance grooves.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall rolls through the alphabet. Wouldn’t it be crazy to invent a new letter? Spanish has “ñ,” “ll,” and “ch.” I’m thinking about a possible “th” or “rr,” trademarking them, getting crazy rich, and then buying some new shoes. Thoughts?

• The GMAC Bowl, ACCORDING TO THE SLC PUNK, JEREMY FROM SALT LAKE, will now be known as the GoDaddy.com Bowl. So now you’ll know what’s going on when you’re watching something else in late December.

• SB Nation’s Brian Cook looks at schadenfreude. Is it a coincidence that ESPN reporter Joe Schad‘s entire last name starts this word?!?!?!?!? Probably.

• “What if Terrelle Pryor had gone to Michigan?” Fanhouse’s John Walters asks. “He’d have experience passing to nobody, running behind a nonexistent offensive line, and watching a porous defense from the sideline,” Dan Rubenstein answers.

• Are you interested in a Nebraska fan eating soap after losing a bet with a Texas fan? Really? You are? That says something.

• The Wiz checks in with some week 7 snapshots. Not pictured: Me eating five different types of potato preparations in Lincoln on Friday.

*****

Today’s VIdeo of the Day is apparently not intended to be funny. Really, it isn’t. If such a term existed, this would be one of the great all-time videos that isn’t a parody but is way funnier than any parody could be. I give you, “The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men.”

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eizw1SbtAQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Jenn Sterger, who, as a Florida State grad, must be pleased with how Mark Stoops has handled the D. Whatever happened to her?

*****

• Alabama WR Julio Jones broke his hand in the first half of Saturday’s South Carolina game. He had surgery the following day to have a screw inserted. Psh, like his hand isn’t already made of bionic parts already.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers is officially out for the remainder of the season after his knee injury at Arizona on Saturday. He’s a small dude, but as a Duck/football fan, I’m equally terrified and excited every time he plays. But mostly terrified.

• The Rose Bowl, the best/worst stadium in college football, is getting a $152 million dollar renovation. To be honest, I’m going to miss their original Gameboy-sized video screen, 20 minute waits in the entrance tunnels, and hot benches. Oh no wait, no I’m not. Huzzah!

• Three UCLA starters will be suspended for next Thursday’s Oregon game. Discipline is admirable, but only sending 8 guys out there against the #2 team in the country? Risky.

• Houston QB Case Keenum will apply for a medical hardship waiver after blowing out his knee against UCLA a few weeks ago. He’s also expected to summarily beg Dana Holgorsen to come back to the Cougars, which is the only way this story matters.

• The Pac-10 is working on splitting up into divisions in preparation for Utah and Colorado. Stanford and Cal are causing problems. Nerds!

• Two Washington State RS freshmen were growing dozens of pot plants in their rented house. Police said that growing that many plants was a “big deal.” The players are agreed, but their high five attempts with police were immediately rebuffed. (via SbB)

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall ranks some college football announcers, submits his weekly Alphabetical column, while Holly Anderson (Peete) doles out some classy stickers.

• The season is about 40% done, so why not hammer out some Heisman thoughts? SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete), SI.com’s Cory McCartney, and ESPN’s team of randoms are happy to oblige. Yahoo!!!!!!!! takes it one step further and ranks just about everybody by position.

• The Week in Schadenfreude from SVBFF and SB Nation’s Brian Cook. God help us all if this column becomes terrible and we all delight in its failure. That’s what’s called a double-meta blackhole. What does it meeeeaaaannnnn?

• Smart Football’s Chris Brown has his Smart Notes up, which looks at the key types of plays that led to wins. I feel smarter just linking to this.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers look back at the first half of the season and do a quick rewind/fast forward. Thankfully, they also finally show us how to properly trim spare ribs prior to cooking. Find the flap!

• Lost in the hilari-depressing USC season is the breakout performance of true freshman WR Robert Woods, who finished with over 200 yards receiving in the Trojans’ loss at Stanford. Quite simply, dude be fast.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a perfect commercial for Stella Artois, directed by Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola. It’s too early for beer, Dan. It’s too early for beer.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pq8u2orRLU

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Warren Buffett, Nebraska’s wealthiest investor/Husker fan. Word has begun leaking that he has been unable sleep due to the exciting combination of Taylor Martinez running read veer options and, obviously, Verbacon. So typical.

*****

• North Carolina‘s Marvin Austin (DT), Robert Quinn (DE), and Greg Little (WR) have all been lost due to their involvement with an agent and the benefits they each received. Austin was dismissed, with Quinn and Little ruled permanently ineligible. Even more importantly, Marvin Austin is no longer the Dan Rubenstein College Football Crush. This is now on loop.

• As you now know, LSU coach Les Miles called a fake FG that ultimately led to the Gators’ demise. It worked even better in 2007.

• Oregon RB and return specialist Kenjon Barner was released from a hospital in Pullman, WA after sustaining a big-hit concussion on a kick return against Washington State.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers, just back from a concussion, suffered a bad knee injury. There’s video, but it isn’t pleasant. The good news is he’s apparently eligible for a medical hardship waiver. Human reaction: Good. Duck reaction: Damn.

• Saturday box score analysis, courtesy of SB Nation and Yahoo!’s Dr. Saturday. I’m still waiting to hear back regarding inquiry regarding the newly formed MAC-themed Dr. Tuesday/Wednesday blog. Fingers crossed.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel drops knowledge bombs covering the college football landscape, and even mentions, thanks to fantasy football and the downfall of Marvin Austin, my new college football crush: Justin Blackmon. I hope this doesn’t sound like hyperbole, but in Dana Holgorson’s offense, he’s essentially a combination of Michael Crabtree and Blanca from Street Fighter II.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples ponders the rest of the SEC season after Alabama’s loss at South Carolina. ***Spoiler*** Everyone’s going to lose to somebody at some point in the SEC the rest of the way, and Alabama will still probably win the West. Ok fine, if the Tide decide to hand it off to Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson.

• LSUFreek is the best college football animated Gif artist (you heard me) on the planet, and should other planets have football leagues attached to academic institutions, he probably already photoshops heads of personalities in that league onto their art and cinema.

• A Michigan fan swears a lot while watching the Wolverines lose to Michigan State. Language is salty and NSFW, unless you work in some sort of F*ck Factory. And if you do, get back to f*ckin’ work, you f*ckin’ slacker. (via EDSBS)

• Speaking of which, Michigan themselves got “Lloydballed” by the Spartans. I hadn’t read that term until this morning, at which point, I just stared at the text and laughed at its simple genius.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers give conference power rankings, helmet stickers, a list of what they learned, and get in a group dance-fight. What? Sometimes you just have to dance-fight.

• Here are this week’s opening lines.

• The Wiz has the Screengrabs O’ the Week. Brock Huard possibly teases Mike Bellotti’s right nipple in one of them. Not a joke.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck tackled USC CB Shareece Wright after the Trojan recovered a fumble. Excuse me, I believe the correct term is “laidimthefuggout.”‘

• Adidas is introducing new “TECHFIT” jerseys for, among other teams, UCLA, Tennessee, Michigan, and Notre Dame. I hereby demand an ND jersey for Ty, as he will feel lighter and faster while pacing over the Irish letting another subpar team climb back into a game. Demand!

Also, RIP Wallace.

Today’s Video of the Day is The Simpsons über-dark couch sequence opening last night, storyboarded by Banksy, the popular street artist. I enjoyed the dolphin head.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DX1iplQQJTo

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan delve into a few voice messages and some e-mails, and discuss their picks for Week Six.

Ty and Dan review all the Week Five action and talk about another fabulous performance by Denard Robinson.

Ty and Dan plow through voice messages and emails before previewing the first slate of October games in the 2010 college football season.

Ty and Dan replay all the Week Four action, including impressive wins by SEC teams, letdown showings by the Big 12, and the dawning of a special new Big Ten tradition.

Ty and Dan make their picks for all the Week Four action and discuss Vegas as a possible location for a Pac-12 title game, suspicious BCS finances, and a host of Verballer messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Elizabeth Berkley, who attended UCLA. At first she was SO excited about Kevin Prince and the Bruin offense, but now she’s … SO scared.

*****

• Rick Neuheisel has done a pretty terrible job at UCLA. The Daily News and Los Angeles Times concur. It’s also worth noting that the UCLA QB job is now considered to be open – which is something like saying a half woman/half lizard is now single and looking for love. But she was really attractive before the lizard experiment went horribly, horribly wrong. Ok, I’ll stop now.

Here’s the coach giving his traditional postgame pep talk to the crowd. Woo?

• ESPN‘s CFB bloggers put together their “What We Learned” and their weekly power rankings. The Solid Verbal’s bloggers put ESPN’s bloggers’ links online, are eating cereal, and trying to remember why Chelsea Handler is considered to be funny.

• Purdue WR Keith Smith is going through tests to see the the extent of a knee injury suffered Saturday. Smith is an All Big Ten WR and Purdue’s biggest offensive weapon. #sadpurduepeteface

• This week’s AP/Coaches polls are out and here’s how specific AP voters saw things. ***Spoiler Alert*** Scott Wolf of the LA Daily News may have had his ballot stolen by both Mack Brown and Les Miles.

• More and more, thanks to x-mo replay (and The Wiz), we get to see breakaway runners drop the ball while celebrating a couple of feet before the goal line. I’m usually not in favor of extreme punishment in such cases, but if a referee saw an Oregon player do it at a key time, I wouldn’t put up a fight if the player lost his scholarship and/or was sentenced to 5-10 at a Panamanian prison.

• The betting lines are out for this week’s slate of games, aka “Other than Some Interesting Pac-10 non-conference games, it’s Straight Garbage Until Conference Games.”

• Colorado won’t be joining the Pac Twen until 2012. Even though it seems far away, there’s already a buzz about the TV contract for Washington State/Colorado games, which promises to be the first major college football matchup to be broadcast solely on a closed-circuit middle school feed in a particularly rural part of Uruguay.

• EDSBS gave out some weekly “Best in Class” awards using stickers awarded to children. It made me want grapes. And recess handball.

Today’s Video of the Day celebrates the return of the new TV season. More specifically, The Amazing Race, which I’ll watch from time to time. Because there’s always a chance something wonderful like this happens:

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan talk with ESPN’s Ted Miller about the impact of the NCAA’s penalties on USC, Oregon’s QB battle, Jake Locker’s prospects for 2010, and Nick Foles’ hairstyle.

Ty and Dan sift through a massive amount of listener feedback, delving into Tommy Tuberville’s comments on the Big 12, team affiliations, fantasy college football, and, of course, Russian spies.  Plus, with only two months until college football kicks off… it’s officially the preseason!

Ty and Dan take a gander at the Pac-10, including USC’s prospects under Lane Kiffin, Oregon’s quarterback quandary, Stanford’s post-Gerhart era and Washington State’s, uh… yeah, we got nothing.  Plus, a lively batch of Verballer messages.

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Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan recap all the action on National Signing Day, examining winners, losers and bizarre names that slipped through the cracks.

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Ty and Dan are joined by a sleep-deprived Clay Travis to sort through the mayhem that began with Pete Carroll leaving USC and ended with Lane Kiffin scorning Tennessee. Plus, a recap of the BCS Championship, voice messages, and e-mails.

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Ty and Dan examine the firing of Charlie Weis and the resignation of Bobby Bowden, as well as the wacky week in college football. Plus, voice messages and a winner in the Solid Verbal fantasy league!

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Ty and Dan plow through a cornucopia of voicemails, e-mails, week 12 news and week 13 picks due to the Thanksgiving holiday and their live broadcast this Saturday at 3pm ET.  Tune in at SolidVerbal.com or Livestream.com/solidverbal.

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Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: www.solidverbal.com