Ty and Dan talk with Lowell Galindo from Longhorn Network about the Mack Brown’s future at Texas, Texas A&M’s move to the SEC, non-traditional powers rising up in the Big 12, and public perception of the network.

Ty and Dan break down the impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, Michigan’s triumph over Ohio State, the Heisman credentials of Montee Ball, UCLA’s march to Pac-12 South glory, and all the other action from Rivalry Week.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Methodist Ladies College attendee Isla Fisher. She was also perdy on Bored to Death this week.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy thinks Penn State could have a hard time finding an enthusiastic bowl invite.

• CBS’s Bruce Feldman ranks the country’s top ten freshmen.

• Urban Meyer wants no part of the Arizona job.

• Arkansas WR/PR Joe Adams is eternally trolling on special teams.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller takes a closer look at new Washington State QB Connor Halliday.

• Butch Davis had no idea that former assistant John Blake was chummy with an agent. Mmhmm.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has power rankings in which he compares his top 25 teams to early MTV videos. It’s just too bad he couldn’t squeeze Texas in for the RATT track. Oh well.

• A little late (on my part), but The Wiz has Week 11 snapshots.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday has a Best of Times/Worst of Times update. Guess where Maryland ended up?

• Yahoo!!!!!! also has a Week 12 viewer’s guide. Convenient.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the reel of an acrobatic stuntman. Conservatively, I don’t think I could execute any more than 30% of what he does here.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQgFxDSqft4

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan recap the so-called “Game of the Century” between LSU and Alabama and wonder whether other television options might’ve been a better choice. Plus, thoughts on the other Week 10 action and more listener voice messages.

Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Whenever it is that I get my own TV network, ordering episodes of Playwatch, a show that exclusively features college football coaches running in slow motion for uncomfortable periods of time, will be job one. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Ty and Dan welcome Bruce Feldman back to the show to discuss Clemson’s ceiling, the looming LSU-Alabama showdown, Urban Meyer-to-Penn State rumors, the misunderstood Mike Gundy, and a host of other hot topics in college football.  Plus, your e-mails and voice messages, and a Week 7 Preview.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Steve Jobs, Reed College attendee.

*****

• Oregon beat Cal. LaMichael James‘s elbow popped out before James himself popped it back in. He’s more of a man than you or I will ever be.

• Cal fans react to the third quarter Oregon onslaught.

• TCU is going to the Big 12. Probably.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd has a weekend watch list and other such musings.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer says there’s nothing quite like Texas football. Well okay, then.

• Watch Western Michigan. They’re not that bad. Seriously.

• Stanford‘s punter has a pretty boring job.

• ESPN‘s bloggers have things to watch.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans profiles Texas OC Bryan Harsin.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly answers your questions.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a never-before-aired “Here’s to the Crazy Ones” Apple ad narrated by Steve Jobs.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rwsuXHA7RA

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan make their Week 6 Picks, talk about Missouri’s potential move to the SEC, discuss Michigan’s defense, and debate whether Clemson is 2010 Auburn in disguise.

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

We’ve exclusively been given a pre-release clip of Rick Neuheisel Football for the NES. The action appears to only be from the first half of a game, but you should get a pretty good idea of what the game involves. Stay tuned for further release info!

Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy, alumnus of the road, that’s what. Also he sings Black Eyed Peas songs way better than anyone else.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd says Texas overplayed its hand with the Longhorn Network. Dennis Dodd would be correct.

• Louisville will see your two-headed QB monster and raise you a triple.

• UCLA lost its center to sweet lady ganja for a game.

• LSU WR Russell Shepard will now sit three games.

• Arizona State will black out Friday night.

• ESPN‘s bloggers are very specific about what they want you to watch this weekend. Don’t cross them.

• Said bloggers also do some old fashion predictin’.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall has a Week One Alphabetical. Get silly, folks.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder says Baylor just wants to make sure Baylor gets taken care of.

• Rick Neuheisel may be the only one who cares at UCLA. About right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for More than Me, a documentary about comedian Jim Breuer taking his 84-year-old dad on the road with him.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVaQBSKHvfw

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk about Texas A&M’s move to the SEC, Mark Richt’s hot seat, poor sportsmanship, and all the important action ahead in the second week of the season.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Christine Taylor, Allentown PA native. She’s also, by my count, the only person to ever appear in “Hey Dude,” “Zoolander,” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Amazing.

*****

• Texas A&M is going to the SEC, just as long as the Big 12 doesn’t get too lawsuit-happy (which they probably are).

• The HATERZ still doubt Boise State, says CBS’s Dennis Dodd.

• Tommy Rees is officially your new starting Notre Dame QB.

• Starting Oklahoma State S Johnny Thomas is ineligible for the 2011 season.

• Four suspended Ohio State players are back. FINALLY.

• Florida didn’t show much against Florida Atlantic. Well, yeah.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff says Mississippi State can’t get too excited about Auburn’s run D. Ok, it can get a little excited.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has a B1G stock report. He’s quite impressed by what Penn State did against Indiana State. Somebody has to be.

• Texas has young RBs who may or may not get stonewalled by older men on Saturday vs BYU.

• The Marshall Lobbestael era (six or so weeks worth) begins (again) for Washington State. Woo.

• Georgia‘s probably in on the spread offense.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples compares college football teams to TV shows. Or something, I’m lost.

• The Wiz has the best screengrabs of the week. This is quietly one of my favorite things about college football every year.

• USC RB Marc Tyler is back and he now has a shiny new merit badge for silence.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter and family are probably unhappy with Lane Kiffin.

• Oklahoma RB Jonathan MIller is done with Norman. Done.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Louis CK talking about George Carlin. Kind of perfect.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R37zkizucPU

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU graduate and Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof. This mention is to serve as a reminder that I still hold a grudge.

*****

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has a week one wrap. Get your knowledge on.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has week one number dissection. Get some more knowledge on.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new College Football Overtime in which he has the common sense to call the Pac-12 horrible after week one.

• In cased you missed it last night, Maryland wore crazy Medieval Times uniforms AND scored a FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN doing so. (and beat Miami)

• Tennessee has a new crimson-y AD.

• Reading this Heisman Watch collection will only hurt your brain.

• ESPN has conference power rankings. It’s what they do.

• Texas WR Marquise Goodwin is coming back to the Longhorns after saying he would redshirt to focus on track. The Garrett Gilbert Effect!

• SI.com’s Holly Anderson (Peete) has week one judginess.

• Nick Saban still doesn’t have a “starting quarterback” per se.

• Florida DT Shariff Floyd is still ineligible (for now).

• Ole Miss RB Brandon Bolden will miss a few weeks with a fractured ankle. Bad times.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris and LB Kiko Alonso are still suspended for the time being.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of acceptable NSFW words, at least within the context of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. (NSFW)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Vs78Gh085M

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former dental student Sofía Vergara. She’ll soon return to all of our lives in wondrous HD. 

*****

• Texas A&M absolutely did not send the Big 12 a withdrawl letter. Update: They almost assuredly will.

• Top incoming Oklahoma freshman WR Trey Metoyer will be academically ineligible this season. Just between you and me, they’ll be fine.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff profiles Mississippi State’s linebackers. Apparently, the key for them is “working hard.” Thanks for the insight, fellas.

• Ohio State released its first depth chart with a big “OR” between Joe Bauserman and Braxton Miller at QB. Why they can’t just sew the two of them together and try to beat the system that way is beyond me.

• Florida has a depth chart. Sharif Floyd at DE seems mildly unfair.

• News and notes from the Big East. Presented without further comment.

• Fearless SEC predictions are available. Such courage.

• Texas has a depth chart. It was released during a six hour Longhorn Network depth chart special. Also, Mack Brown says “more unique” in an attached video, which, of course, isn’t an actual phrase.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall previews the Big 12. Pie charts are heavily leaned on.

• Things are getting colorful for Maryland at their home opener. Good luck with all of that.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has bowl projections. It’s just that time.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has 15 impact freshmen. He calls it the Freshman 15, because, well, you get it.

• Lawyerin’ is now a thing with LSU and Jordan Jefferson.

• LSU is down a starting guard. Knees are total jerks.

• A new Rivals 100 is out. Adjust your Tuesdays.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features hilarious August injuries. It really was a great month for funny pain.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZvL58nBC68

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty talks with Bryan Fischer from CBSSports.com about the possibility of Texas A&M leaving for the SEC, potential moves for Missouri and Virginia Tech, and the impact that conference realignment could have on the college football landscape.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by San Francisco State Dana Carvey, whose “Critic’s Choice” standup special still holds up. Also, read an oral history of his old variety show. And chop some broccoli.

*****

• OU OLB Travis Lewis will miss eight weeks after breaking his toe. He’s expected to tackle everyone in the hospital. Twice.

• You’ll start rooting for Tulsa QB G.J. Kinne in 3..2..1…

• A limited James Rodgers is practicing for Oregon State. Scary.

• More details about the arrest of Texas S Christian Scott have come out. Not good.

• More Dr Saturday SEC Week lurve. Jump on it.

• Rivals has a Texas A&M preview in which they appear to be just as confused about the Aggie possibilities as we all are.

• EDSBS contributor Anonymous IV at Mono Lake has a new system of college football taxonomy. Have fun with this.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders if Arkansas can be the next Auburn. I’ll do you one better and tell you if they are with absolute certainty in mid-December.

• ESPN quickly runs down conference Heisman candidates and Nick Foleses.

• ESPN‘s bloggers give out QB superlatives. FINALLY, some attention for QBs on ESPN.

• Previewing LSU might be what sends SB Nation’s Bill Connelly completely over the edge.

• Ole Miss is going to slowly flatten all of their best footballs.

• Virginia has one enormous player and many smaller ones who will hit you with flags.

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill will make you clean a horse stall. He won’t think twice about it, either.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features Gabe, today’s bulldog of the day.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tcJws5xM8s

Enjoy your Wednesday. Get the look!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan preview the Big 12 with David Ubben from ESPN.com and talk about the injury to Oklahoma’s Travis Lewis, new coaches at Texas, confidence in Mike Sherman, his alma mater, Missouri, and much much more.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college person Marisa Miller, who appears on Camera Guy Dave’s show, The Daily Habit. He’s now Producer Dave. Take pity on him.

*****

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno suffered shoulder and hip injuries after being run over during practice yesterday. Not cool, WR just doing his job like he’s supposed to, not cool.

• SI.com dares to go inside the private world of Urban Meyer. It appears there are more smiles (and mustaches) there than in the Urban Meyer public world.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has UCLA practice notes. Mine will be coming out here shortly. His are far more informative.

• Texas S Christian Scott was arrested for misdemeanor assault. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. (etc)

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Texas and comes to the conclusion that he has no idea what to think. Perfect.

• Upcoming guest and ESPN Big 12 blogger David Ubben ranks conference LBs.

• He then breaks down Big 12 QB competition, which isn’t the same now that Kansas’s Kale Pick is now a WR. RIP Most Unfortunate Last Name for a QB.

• The Pac-12 only has one QB battle (UCLA). “Battle” may be too strong a word for anything happening in Westwood right now.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff does the same in the SEC. DRAMA.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel and Andy Staples have ten reasons to be excited about college football. Number 11? Staples/Mandel collabo column. Duh.

• ESPN has interviews with conference commissioners. They’re as exciting as you think they are.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s Rob Moseley has an Oregon practice update.

• Georgia LB Jarvis Jones has been cleared by the NCAA.

• It’s SEC Week in DrSaturdayville. Read, absorb, learn.

• Nebraska has a WR/QB. I’m officially calling the position a “Qwibber” (QWBR).

• Rivals previews the Pokes. Yee-haw.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is world record parallel parking. Yes, that exists.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeFNunnYiKY

Enjoy your Tuesday. Fashion!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michael McKean, the only Carnegie Mellon graduate to also be a member of Spinal Tap. Beat that.

*****

• Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher‘s son is battling a rare blood disorder. Strong wishes from the Click Chorus.

• Arizona State LB Vontaze Burfict blew up a teammate. Quick, everybody act surprised.

• Michigan WR Darryl Stonum has been forced to redshirt this year after a DUI plea. Ty thinks it’s laughable to compare the situation to Michael Floyd‘s, which is true, it appears Michigan may desire a higher standard under Brady Hoke. Apples and golden oranges.

• The Longhorn Network contract is analyzed by Outkick the Coverage’s Clay Travis. Allegedly.

• It’s QB John Brantley‘s turn in Florida. Again.

• Nebraska QB Bubba Starling, who definitely is playing baseball and not football, didn’t practice and isn’t on the roster. So other than that…

• ESPN is all-accessing Florida. Photographs!

• Fox Sports’s Andrew Astleford profiles Missouri QB James Franklin, who may do the unthinkable and finish in the top half of some Big 12 passing categories, eclipsing the immortal standard set my Blaine Gabbert.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has been saving his West Virginia preview for a special occasion. Or today, either way.

• Boise State has gotten around the Mountain West‘s unfair blue-on-blue ban. Brilliant.

• Michigan St DT Jerel Worthy has immortalized his disdain for the Maize and Blue.

• Wrap up Pac-12 Week with Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday.

• Virginia Tech gets the latest Rivals preview treatment. LUNCHPAILS!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the (DECIDEDLY NSFW) trailer for The Sitter.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYvj9J0GLsU

Enjoy your Monday. Clothing is purchasable.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Stiller, brief UCLA attendee. Fockers aside, I’ll still watch Zoolander whenever/wherever.

*****

• LSU OC Steve Kragthorpe is stepping down as LSU’s offensive coordinator, but will continue to coach QBs after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. This is awful. The absolute best to him and his.

• The first USA Today Coaches’ Poll is out. You can’t imagine how much it means. Mostly because it means nothing.

• Parlazed Rutgers DL Eric LeGrand spoke to SportsCenter about his recovery. Always awesome.

• The B1G will go to nine conference games in 2017. Let’s all take a moment to remember Eastern Michigan.

• Texas WR Malcolm WIlliams is leaving the Longhorns.

• Butch Davis offered a UNC scholarship (written) to his QB son Drew before he got let go. Naturally, UNC chancellor Holden Thorp committed an NCAA violation talking about how mad it made him.

• UNC DL Brandon Willis just likes the road, man.

• Purdue has new, über plain uniforms. About right.

• Four Big East teams open camp today. ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has quick hitters.

• She does the same for BYU, which I have taken to phonetically pronouncing “Bayou” out loud just to spice things up.

• The Iron Bowl is being used to arrest deadbeat dads (complete with a fun soundtrack!). Really.

• Rivals has DL rankings. SALTINESS ABOUND.

• Auburn may utilize a redshirt freshman RB who checks in around three bills. DO IT.

• SI.com contributor George Schroeder examines Larry Scott’s ability to further expand the Pac-12.

• South Carolina isn’t down with the Twitter. #SadTweet is a real thing.

• Dr Saturday‘s Pac-12 Week continues with the Oregon schools and hot seats. #SadNeuFace

• Trans-conference robbery is a real thing!

• USC practice opened up last night. We could be setting our watches to Baxter Time for at least a few quarters, at which point he’ll probably just wander off somewhere.

• Rivals has a Big East preview. Where have I seen this before? That’s right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dude traveling the world, six frames at a time.

Enjoy your Friday. Shirts increasing in volume next week, buy now to tell your friends you bought when it was cool.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Penn State graduate (and Notre Dame fan) Ty Hildenbrandt. With this morning’s Michael Floyd news, today is his Independence Day.

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd has been officially reinstated by Brian Kelly. I’ll bet he learned his lesson.

• Miami OT Seantrel Henderson may miss the 2011 season (or a large chunk thereof) after he undergoes back surgery next week. We’re gonna need a bigger table.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy has a post-Big East media day profile of West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen. Only read this if you want to know more about Mike Leach’s sweat pants.

• Virginia Tech OT Blake DeChristopher will miss the next 4-6 weeks with a wonky boob. And that’s how you do a painful injury a complete disservice.

• EDSBS has the least watchable teams in recent CFB history. I’m still not over his Paul Wulff descriptions.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly makes with the Penn State previewing.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has quick things-to-know on Pac-12 teams.

• The Big East may expand again. I learned this from looking into Ivan Maisel‘s steely eyes.

• Texas and Oklahoma fans brought knives to a knife fight (at Applebee’s). Luckily, the magical phrase, “ruptured scrotum” is nowhere to be found here.

• Rivals ranks receiving corps. They really dropped the ball with Arkansasat #1. <-- Comedy.

• SI.com’s Ben Glicksman says Penn State needs somebody to throw the ball to their own team. Crazy, I know.

• Listen to a fun interview with Mike Leach. Psh, like any of them aren’t.

• Memphis is so edgy.

• Central Michigan is so maroon.

• Continue reading Dr Saturday’s Pac-12 week. Become smarter. Rinse repeat.

• Crap, the Solid Verbal preseason poster was going to look EXACTLY like Florida’s. Back to the drawing board.

• Rivals previews South Carolina. This is your last chance to read this.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a mariachi band serenading a beluga whale. Because it is, that’s why.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS_6-IwMPjM

Enjoy your Wednesday. Shop, don’t drop.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Duke graduate Retta, who drives (easily) the best car on Parks and Recreation. We forgive her for her Blue Devil-dom.

*****

• No Big 12 proprietary networks can broadcast high school games for a year. Hear that, Cyclone Network? Exactly.

• South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia is officially back. No party is safe.

• It’s been too long without an EDSBS Fulmer Cupdate. Now it’s been like three seconds.

• The Big 12 has enough receivers to rank the best ten. Garrett Gilbert has some ‘splaining to do.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa‘s Heisman campaign (including branded dumbbells!) starts now. Or when his shredded achilles fully heals, whichever comes first… and then it starts!!!!

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has a Clemson preview. I had big expectations for this one after starting out strong, but it faded pretty quickly.

• Media members ate well at Big East media day. Whew.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney profiles Louisville RB Victor Anderson, he of “What ever happened to Victor Anderson” fame.

• The most uncomfortable media day hundred seconds of your day now exist. I got through about 31 seconds.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday has begun Pac-12 week in the Grand Canyon State.

• Maryland‘s going to have new uniforms. Calling it now — camo turtle print.

• Smart Football has highlights, clips, and insights from Mike Leach’s “Swing your Sword.”

• Rivals ranks backfields. The top two are way out west where they don’t even know how to play REAL football.

• Rivals has a Michigan State preview, which features the dreamy Kirk Cousins. (SNAP OUT OF IT RUBENSTEIN)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is your introduction to Chief Shark Officer Andy Samberg. Backflip!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8zdCHp8P9Q

Enjoy your Tuesday. Commerce!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mila Kunis. She has a movie out. I feel like this is enough.

*****

• North Carolina DC Everett Withers is now the interim coach of the Tar Heels. As Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday notes, the good news is that Withers oversaw the “worst statistical defense in Big Ten history. Woo.

• North Carolina‘s AD peacedthefugout.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall profiles the demise of Butch Davis. Management speak is abound.

• Mr. Hall also has everything you need to know about yesterday’s B1G media day. It’s the funniest thing you’ll read today.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini spoke at relative length about the 2011 season and Nebraska’s B1G introduction.

• ESPN has B1G media day notes. They’re not nearly as funny as the above link.

• Jerry Kill. That’s all.

• Fox Sports Ohio looks at Ohio State coach Luke Fickell’s day yesterday. And the HATERZ.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer looks at Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott and how the Pac-12 Networks came about. My hypothesis? He isn’t Tom Hanson.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks ahead at the Pac-12′s business model (straight cash homey).

• USC QB Matt Barkley goes Irish, and it’s fantastic.

• ESPN anonymously ranks Big 12 RBs. Fozzy checks in at #10.

• ESPN blogger screengrabs are just the best.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelsen profiles Syracuse LB Adam Harris. It includes the quote, “I didn’t dislike Cornell by any means…” Liar.

• The Big East has some major DBs. And defensive backs.

• The Sporting News’s Matt Hayes profiles ASU LB Vontaze Burfict. Everyone read it before it’s too late…

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday previews Penn State and their QBs who will stop at nothing to make sure every pass is caught by somebody on the field.

• Former Nebraska QB Cody Green has landed at Tulsa. He noted, “Wait, where’d everyone go?”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features the finest physical injuries of the past 29 days. Huzzah!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrYQpMeHmMY

Enjoy your Friday/summer fashions!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Missouri State (then SW Missouri St) attendee, just-announced Community actor, and all-around good thespian John Goodman.

*****

• Big 12 Media Day was full of Longhorn Network fun.

• Former Alabama WR Julio Jones was a man of many suits, just like we all were in college. No big deal.

• South Carolina QB coach G.A. Mangus really had to go. Like REALLY.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy looks ahead to September 17, the ACC‘s day of reckoning. Dun dun DUN.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner updates the Pac-12′s search for a network partner. Let’s assume for now that The Solid Verbal is out of the running.

• The NCAA will hold a summit to talk about proprietary TV networks. Probably a good idea.

• CBS Sports has a new feature called Rapid Reports with quick breaking news for the bigger CFB programs. And Maryland. (press cmnd-D shortly)

• To those that said ESPN being involved in the Longhorn Network would affect their own Texas coverage… you have a point (via EDSBS).

• Missouri coach Gary Pinkel isn’t a fan of the Longhorn Network.

• Take a look at Texas DC Manny Diaz’s defense. He’s crafty.

• Texas coach Mack Brown talks about protecting QBs. He ends up saying very little.

• ESPN has choice Big 12 Media Day quotes and storylines. Also, OSU coach Mike Gundy‘s hair looks darker.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich has a Day 2 ACC media day notebook. Punting is somehow involved.

• Boston College coach Frank Spaziani talks the ‘stache. He’s the best.

• Unofficial preseason B1G polls are out. Gobble ‘em up!

• ESPNU’s Tom Luginbill has recruit summaries from something called “Gridiron Kings.”

• Is Clemson coach Dabo Swinney already running out of time? Perhaps, says Fox Sports South’s Andrew Jones.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly doesn’t have a preview today. But if he did, it’d be South Carolina. I’m such a prankster.

• Paralyzed Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand is awesome.

• It’s B1G Week for Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday. Go get yourself some learnin’.

• Michigan’s too good for non-Notre Dame non-conference road trips. Not everyone can be men.

• Former top Miami S recruit Latwan Anderson will be making his way to Cincinnati.

• Rivals previews BYU. Fact: If you read all of the previews Rivals and Dr. Saturday do, you’re somewhere between 10-15x more informed than almost everyone on TV. Do it!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is my favorite scene from The Big Lebowski (N-S-F-W). Sometimes, I just need it. Happy Birthday, Keeerrrttt1!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPo9OBrIOi4

Enjoy your Tuesday. Get flossy.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Mike Leach about his new book, the circumstances that led to his firing at Texas Tech, his thoughts on Craig James, ESPN and Bruce Feldman, his future coaching ambitions, and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Virginia Hoo (attendee), Talladega Nights actress, and all-around good looking person Leslie Bibb.

*****

• Ohio State apparently did NOT fail to monitor their student-athletes. CBS’s Bryan Fischer is STEAMED.

• Tennessee has recommended two years of probation for its crimes against NCAA humanity under former basketball coach Bruce Pearl and former football coach Lane Kiffin. A lot of probing.

• The Big 12 has media days today and tomorrow. Texas will be holding its own party and it’s going to be way cooler than the party you guys are throwing.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy speaks with the most fashionably casual conference commissioner of them all, the ACC’s John Swofford. Even his last name sounds like an exceedingly comfortable polo shirt.

• Florida DB Matt Elam has been cited for underage alcohol possession, thus dragging Florida‘s sterling name through the mud. For shame.

• CBS’s Mr. CFB briefly profiles Florida St QB E.J. Manuel. FINALLY, Florida State gets some preseason ink.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday rips open the ACC with conference notes, defining games, and previews during ACC Week.

• ESPN humbly submits an anonymous Mountain West prediction.

• I don’t know what ESPN’s Heather Dinich and Pat Forde talk about here, I just know Forde does not look impressed by your camera equipment. An ACC notebook is also present.

• Fox Sports also seems to think that Florida State kinda, sorta needs to win one for the Atlantic Coast.

• An All-SEC preseason team exists.

• LSU WR Russell Shepard isn’t suspended, but may have some sort of compliance issue to address. Or something.

• FoxSports has a Big 12 preview. And it’s fully stocked with (Texas A&M RB) Christine Michael references. Well, one.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Iowa. He anticipates the sound of a record suddenly being stopped on a turntable. Ree-rr!

• SI.com’s Jordan Conn profiles star South Carolina WR Alshon Jeffrey. It’s good, but not nearly as promising as SI.com’s Alshon Jeffrey profiling South Carolina WR Jordan Conn (as I originally envisioned).

• Colorado’s poster schedule is brought to you by Verizon, so if you don’t like it, Verizon customer service will tell you to go straight to hell.

• Rivals profiles woefully under-appreciated BC RB Montel Harris.

• Smart Football’s Chris Brown talks first half two point conversions. He’s anti.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best pre-NASCAR race prayer ever.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J74y88YuSJ8

Enjoy your Monday. Stay clothed.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Chip Brown from OrangeBloods.com about the controversy surrounding the Longhorn Network, the future of the Big 12 conference, expectations for Texas A&M, and the Texas QB derby.  Plus, Verballer messages and the Mount Rushmore of 1990s female television characters.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by mustachio’d NYU attendee Sarah Silverman. Lady mustaches have yet to bore me.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks SEC commissioner Mike Slive’s hopes and dreams for change in the SEC. If you read between the lines, dropping football as a conference sports seems like a real possibility.

• …And SEC coaches aren’t fans of hopes and dreams.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks the NCAA will listen to Mike Slive and then not listen.

• The EYE also has choice SEC Media Day quotes and summaries from Steve Spurrier, Will Muschamp, Bobby Petrino, and Dan Mullen.

• ESPN has their own choice SEC quotes and moments.

• The NCAA‘s investigation into Auburn and the recruitment of Cam Newton continually has new life. Good thing coach Gene Chizik admonished an NCAA enforcement official at a rules meeting a few weeks ago. Whew!

• Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Or not.

• I hope you’re sitting down … LSU received outdated recruiting video from Will Lyles.

• Former (briefly) Florida RB and current Auburn RB Mike Blakely had his appeal to immediately play for the Tigers denied.

• Florida RB Jeff Demps is still considering a pro track career, which is good because he’s generally the fastest sprinting human in college.

• Texas talks Longhorn Network, which is going to be totally fair, you guys.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner examines the forthcoming Pac-12 Network. He thinks things will finally be coming up Milhouse (Time Warner)!

• How will the B1G respond to Mike Slive. Slowly?

• Big 12 position rankings are FINALLY here, and they’re brought to you by Texas, because legally, every sentence that contains “Big 12” must also contain “Texas.”

• Big East tight ends are ranked. If you knew all of these players, you’re either gifted, nerdy, or run the Big East Coast Bias blog.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Wisconsin, who now have an adjusted loss to UNLV. Cheer up Rebel fans, you now have a math win!

• SI.com’s Tim Layden reminisces about the best team he ever covered, the 1995 Nebraska squad, a team that still gives Steve Spurrier occasional night terrors.

• Auburn has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars … defending allegations tied to the recruitment of Cam Newton.

• North Texas is riding Green Lantern Fever, which, of course, doesn’t exist. And UTEP is doing everything they can to remind you just which sport they play.

• ESPN’s commentator assignments for the 2011 season have been released. Things just got a little bit more Hawkins in here.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Steve Nash being awesome at parking.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXFF5_GIsV0

Enjoy your Thursday. New shirts soon.

***Follow me on the Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about the launch of his new site (OutkickTheCoverage.com) and his thoughts on a hodgepodge of SEC topics in the midst of Media Days.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Regis Philbin, who apparently attended and graduated from Notre Dame. Who knew?

*****

• If you’re the last person who hasn’t read it, here’s Yahoo!’s Will Lyles/Oregon story.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer ponders independence and major football programs.

• The body of Purdue RB Sean Matti was found in a Lake in Indiana. Unspeakably tragic.

• Former UNC DE Mike McAdoo is suing UNC and the NCAA for reinstatement. Nancy Grace is outraged.

• Illinois DL Chris Jones was charged with battery. At least he didn’t have cocaine on him like the last time he was arrested, right?

• Alabama QB A.J. McCarron has a sizable sternum tat. Reason for concern?

• SI.com’s Andy Staples brings the noise with his Cheating for Dummies column.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly includes Yo La Tengo in his USF preview. Also, Bill Connelly never stops.

• Neither does Rivals’s's’s's’s UCF preview, apparently.

• South Carolina DE Jadeveon Clowney is officially a South Carolina DE. Must’ve been waiting for all of the AP results to come back.

• Want Rich Rodriguez’s Michigan house? Sure you do! (via Dr Sat)

• Auburn needs a QB. Soon.

• The Big East has defensive lines, so ESPN feels compelled to rank them.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett echoes what we talked about last week — new Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson is good, but the greatness talk needs to be scaled back.

• The B1G has LBs. But you knew that already.

• A giant combine/tournament is going on on the Nike campus in Portland. ESPN has first-day stories.

• Cincinnati QB Chazz Anderson (DOUBLE Z!) has transferred to Buffalo. RIP multiple Chaz(z)es in the Big East.

• Georgia assistant recruiting coordinator Charles Canton got the hell out of Athens. Peculiar?

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at the B1G challenges ahead for Nebraska.

• Vanderbilt decided to pull a Stanford and recruit smart kids that can also play football.

• Maryland OL Justin Lewis is now persona non grata in College Park, MD.

• Top incoming Texas DT Quincy Russell failed to qualify for the Longhorns.

• Incoming Alabama RB Dee Hart may have torn an ACL. Or maybe not.

• Rivals profiles new Texas Tech DC Chad Glasgow, who promises to be better than the last guy, Chad Edinburgh.

• The Longhorn Network is getting two 2011 Texas games. Hurray!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is mustachio’d monkeys being fascinated by an iPod touch. Of course.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nP73LFhcKY

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy clothing!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Dan talks with SI.com’s Richard Deitsch about media coverage of college football, the broad reach of ESPN, and the Longhorn Network.

Dan talks with ESPN.com’s Bruce Feldman about recent college football news and his new book with Mike Leach, “Swing Your Sword.” It can’t be stressed enough how good the show has gotten since Ty left for Hawaii. Ok, it’s taken back — it can’t be stressed how good this show is because of Bruce Feldman. Enjoy!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Boy Meets World actress Danielle Fishel. She apparently hosted some show thereafter. The important thing to remember here is that we went to the same high school. And our high school is terrible at football.

*****

• Oregon All-American CB/PR Cliff Harris has been suspended indefinitely in the wake of his driving citation and other outstanding (in a bad way) fines. He’ll miss, at the very least, the LSU game. Say what you will, but Chip Kelly is now probably the Anti-Tressel of the moment.

• ESPN’s Chris Low ranks SEC wide receivers. An innocent enough list until you realize who will be throwing to these guys. And that would be mostly unproven people.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich gets in on the position ranking hustle and trots out ACC quarterback rankings. Randy Edsall is in charge of #1. I don’t feel good about this.

• Add “saggy pants” to the list of awesome things happening right now for New Mexico football.

• Kegs ‘n Eggs has Bodog Heisman odds. Notre Dame QB Dayne Crist checks in at NotGonnaHappen to 1.

• Football Study Hall does its best to figure out Cal. I don’t think they’ll ever be the same.

• Michigan St is ready to prove the doubters wrong. Unless the doubters live Tuscaloosa, AL. You guys were totally right.

• Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott is, alongside his Big 10 and SEC brethren, also looking into athletes getting a little more scratch.

• The new Longhorn Network will mostly feature Mack Brown doing and saying things.

• Former Miami RB Storm Johnson can transfer anywhere he wants to, so long as it’s not a college or university in the United States.

• Two Kansas football players are taking on other KU athletes at their own sports. This time it’s women’s soccer. The video is a little long but if you start at around the five minute mark you won’t be sorry. Unless you hate comedy.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is terrific advice to graduates of any age — keep on dancing!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WCgKEukISs

Enjoy your Thursday. Buy stuff, etc.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Schwartz, Union College (Schenectady!) graduate. He was good doing shorts for ESPN and is now great occasionally on Parks and Rec. Also, his hair is eerily similar to mine.

*****

• Terrelle Pryor pulled a Jason Giambi and apologized for nothing in particular. Sports!

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy looks at how the tornadoes that hit Alabama brought a little bit of humanity to the Iron Bowl. Just a little.

• Pitt and Penn St will start playing each other again in five years. By that time, Ty and I will either be THE voices of college football or we’ll be long gone with the money we’ve slowly laundered from everyone that has ever listened to the show.

• Texas lost WR Greg Timmons to a nasty case of no longer wanting to play for Texas.

• Free agent QB Russell Wilson should be deciding on a 2011 destination soon. You know, for grad school.

• The CBS Sports Network, which will forever be a triple digit channel, has hired Rich Rodriguez to be a full time analyst.

• Football Study Hall aims at Ole Miss. And Dairy Queen. Just read it.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich looks at Week 3 of the ACC slate. My calendar also says today is June 15, if you’re curious.

• SEC running backs are ranked. No joke to be had here, the conference is filthy is backs.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg chats with Michigan St coach Mark Dantonio.

• New West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen went skydiving yesterday. And almost exploded.

• Oh, you thought The Wiz was done rolling out the financial reports from the bowl games. Too silly.

• Rivals’s's’s's’s Tom Dienhart looks at the biggest scheme changes of the offseason.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features two seals being released into the wild. And wouldn’t you know it, right after they were released, things got super romantic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgJbqyQN164

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy stuff!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by a small, attractive person that responds to Hayden Panettiere, a non-college attendee. She was also in Remember the Titans and is apparently dating former Colorado WR Scotty McKnight. That’s football-ish.

*****

• Hold on to your seats … Terrelle Pryor is done at Ohio State after making a statement to that effect through his lawyer.

• Further, Pryor is now alleged to have earned tens of thousands of dollars signing autographs. Or maybe it was just his mom signing autographs, who knows.

• USC was stripped of its 2004 BCS title. Just think, in ten years, people will look back and say, “I have no idea what a BCS title is.”

• North Carolina received, “almost a year” after the stories originally began trickling out, a letter of inquiry from the NCAA. At least all those players got bottle service out of this whole thing.

• Colt McCoy‘s wife calling into a terrible radio show is somehow news.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Kentucky, and on second thought, they lost to Charleston Southern. Woops.

• Mizzou players are helping out with the Joplin tornado cleanup. The pictures are downright terrifying. (via edsbs)

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff smells some SEC upsets. And also sweet, sweet SEC bourbon.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett rounds up various Terrelle Pryor reactions from the Internetz.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples tells Ohio State fans to maybe simmer down a tad if they know what’s good for them.

• The new issue of Sports Illustrated has an extensive profile of Stanford QB Andrew Luck. Spoiler: He’s a bright dude.

• Rivals profiles Norm Chow and his return to Utah. Because he used to coach in that state, you see.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Infinite Shampoo. Simple. Effective. Insane.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PKQE8FM2Uw

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by somebody named Blake Lively, who apparently is now a fake naked person who may or may not coincidentally have a movie coming out soon. Crazy how that works.

*****

• The SEC spring meetings began and oversigning was the topic du jour.

• Kansas DC Carl Torbush decided to retire to devote his attention to battling “low grade prostate cancer.” Let’s hope for a swift, speedy Torbushian recovery.

• ESPN’s Mark May has spelling credibility! <— I don’t know what “credibility” means.

• Deadspin’s Tommy Craggs very intelligently argues that Jim Tressel is a “symptom, not the disease.”

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly studies Rutgers. Our sympathies.

• Incoming Oregon LB Tyson Coleman was chased down (on bike) and arrested by police after ditching an unopened can of 4Loko. Yep.

• SEC coaches react to Jim Tressel’s resignation. I’m not sure Houston Nutt actually knows what happened. Seriously.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall eulogizes Jim Tressel. Oh don’t act surprised that there’s a “suck it” reference in the first paragraph.

• Texas compliance is for real.

• Top incoming South Carolina recruit Jadeveon Clowney is most likely eligible. Hurray!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jon Stewart tap dancing on Sarah Palin.

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Chris Brown from SmartFootball.com about turnover among offensive assistants in college football and the impact new philosophies will have on their respective teams.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the dreamy former locks of Michael Bolton, who were unable to star in the Lonely Island’s newest video with Bolton himself. It is not known if Bolton has ever graduated from anywhere, nor is it cared.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd has a post-spring top 25 and includes Auburn. Apparently he knows something we don’t about the potential 2-man spread that Philip Lutzenkirchen and Michael Dyer will be running. Cute.

• Ohio State has again come under the compliance microscope, this time for deals on used cars from local dealerships. I can’t seem to shake the image of Buckeye players using Columbus as a giant gifting suite, so I’ll just go with that for now.

• Michigan WR Darryl Stonum was arrested for driving under the influence.

• Memphis QB Ryan Williams is now officially Miami QB Ryan Williams, though all 6’6″ and 225 lbs of him will be sitting out this fall, joining Ty and me as talented athletes not allowed to play college football in the coming months.

• Is Texas QB Garrett Gilbert going to start once again for the Longhorns? It’s a “probably maybe” at this point and I’m quoting myself there as I react to what The Statesman’s Kirk Bohls thinks.

• ESPN’s David Ubben has a post-spring Big Twen wrap that includes power rankings, though I would argue that the word “power” isn’t nearly as accurate a word as anything lesser would be.

• Penn State should get decent play from its defensive tackles. So there’s that.

• The first numbered Rivals 100 is out. Know that this will change when Rivals sees which schools agree and disagree with their rankings. They’re sluts like that.

• SB Nation’s stat deity Bill Connelly cuddles up to Indiana football. Somebody had to.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder profiles Oklahoma offensive coordinator Josh Heupel. He’s expected to mastermind a season of great hope marred by a loss to a lesser team on the road at night.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a talking dog, no big deal.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiHIZl4RNB4

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCSB graduate Dan Harmon, creator of Community, which made me laugh more than anything else did last night. It’s gotten unbearably easy to make it into this spot. Oh well.

*****
• Toomer’s Corner poisoner Harvey Updyke was attacked a couple of days ago after a hearing, so naturally he called into the Paul Finebaum show yesterday. It was all very much absurd and amazing. SB Nation’s Holly Anderson summarizes.

• Alabama coach Nick Saban recruits thoroughly. ESPN’s Jamie Newberg foolishly thinks he can enter the Saban recruiting world and not come back scarred and alone.

• If you at all watched Utah after mid-October, it should come as no surprise that the Utes’ defense was ahead of the offense during the spring game. The SLC Punk may need to start warming up his arm.

• Top RB recruit Jonathan Gray has selected … TEXAS!! Do you believe in Miracles? … YES!!

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney hosted a Clemson Fantasy Camp. Oh sure, it’s all middle aged fun and games until #95 falls down the hill. Fine, that was fun too.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller reports that USC coach Lane Kiffin is ready to be judged by his winning. As opposed to what exactly before?

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has a pleasant conversation with probably Wisconsin QB Jon Budamayr. At first glance, his name appears fun to say. I’ll keep you posted.

• Fox Sports Midwest tries to make sense of Blaine Gabbert’s run at QB for Mizzou. To my unprofessional, untrained eye, he always looked above average, but never worthy of elite conversations. That’s why they pay me the big bucks.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has had it UP TO HERE with the BCS’s threats regarding their anti-trust lawsuit. UP TO HERE!

• Michigan CB Cullen Christian is leaving Ann Arbor, making him the 47th defensive back to leave in two years. Hurts.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a Super Mario proposal. As in marriage proposal. I always approve of dorklove. Always.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_CxFnKrMBw

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan are joined by John Ourand from Sports Business Journal to discuss monster television deals in college football, increasing demand for live sports programming, the profitability of bowl games, and the strategy behind going/staying Independent.  Plus, Verballer voice messages, e-mails, and much more.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Harvard grad Paul Pfeiffer, the true star (along with his hamster, Wheezer) of The Wonder Years, now available on Netflix streaming. Boom.

*****

• Texas played their annual Orange and White game yesterday. I watched QB Garrett Gilbert throw a dumb pick, saw QB Case McCoy look decent, and then fell asleep. The Statesman and Burnt Orange Nation fill in the rest. ESPN has video.

Speaking of which, the new ESPN/Texas venture, The Longhorn Network, has a logo and a site. You won’t believe this, but they got Matthew McConaughey to record a short video promo. Presumably shirtless.

• Michigan and Notre Dame will be wearing throwback jerseys this year when they meet each other. I assume the uniform choice will be representative of better times for both programs. This could mean a decidedly 1996 look.

• Smart Football delves into the Dana Holgorsen madness. This time it’s West Virginia’s coach-in-waiting say it takes three days-ish to install a good offense. Ok then.

• The Big East held scrimmages this weekend. ESPN’s Brian Bennett has the “story.”

• Virginia held a spring game. ESPN’s Heather Dinich has a short breakdown of the game and an extensive one about the various wines and cheeses available outside.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno offers up some Penn State spring thoughts.

• LSU‘s QB depth stands thusly: Jefferson, Lee, Mettenberger.

• Fox Sports Arizona profiles ASU QB Brock Osweiler, a passer who has, so far, been best evaluated as “not as good as Steven Threet.” I’m quoting life.

• SI’s Jordan Conn profiles new Colorado coach Jon Embree. Apparently, Embree loves the process of building success and hates superfluous H’s.

• Rivals rates the five best assistant hires in each BCS conference. All the BUZZ is free!

• Central Arkansas sees your plain green turf or your trying-too-hard blue/red turf and raises you purple and gray stripes. Ca-ching.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is raw, dirty, public sax.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaoLU6zKaws

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Harvard alum Rivers Cuomo. I’ve never said this until now, but a pretty significant part of me wants to destroy his sweater. Whew, that felt right.

*****

• Pac-12 TV rights hit the open market today. Here’s a rundown of the favorites to land conference media rights. I’m positive by the time all is said and done, I’ll be watching Oregon games on Oprah‘s third regional network in standard definition.

• Noted shady person Willie Lyles allegedly asked Texas A&M $80,000 to deliver Patrick Peterson. Peterson and his father were outraged and denied any association with Lyles. And then a Rivals reporter confirmed THREE YEARS AGO that Peterson and his father went to Houston specifically to visit Lyles. Whoops indeed!

• Well then, Ohio State blog Eleven Warriors looks … different today.

• ESPN’s David Ubben made the trek to College Station and returns with Texas A&M practice notes. Because it’s his job, that’s why.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg does the same in Evanston for Northwestern, but uses bullet points. Ohyoufancyhuh?

• When Nebraska plays a team with a decent defense, their offense is going to be way better. Srsly, you guys.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at Cal’s offense and the news that coach Jeff Tedford is once again in control.

• It seems that New Mexico coach Mike Locksley can finally be terminated and not be paid a quadrillion dollars. Advanced economics!

• Colorado QB Tyler Hansen implies that there perhaps, maybe, kind of, sort of, probably was a touch of nepotism in former coach Dan Hawkins playing QB Cody Hawkins so much. Intriguing.

• Verbie-nominated Tweeter and Ole Miss DE Kentrell Lockett has been granted a sixth year of eligibility. #excitement

• Rivals previews Ohio State’s spring. Quiet quiet quiet.

• The Texas spring game will be on ESPN. The secrety secrets will be exposed!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is our ol’ pal at SI.com, Andy Staples, talkin’ jorts.

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan are joined by Jake Trotter from The Oklahoman to discuss Oklahoma as the preseason No. 1 team, the future of the Big 12, and annual Bob Stoops coaching rumors.  Plus, Verballer e-mails.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Georgia alum Kyle Chandler. He was Coach Taylor on Friday Night Lights and stars in JJ Abrams’s “Super 8.” Clear eyes, etc.

*****

—> JOIN THE SOLID VERBAL NCAA POOL <—

• Four Auburn football players were arrested and charged with robbery. Excuse me, four FORMER Auburn players were arrested and charged with robbery. Fulmer Cup implications are here.

• It just would be the offseason without the annual Michigan State arrests — this time, though, the Spartan players tried something new and were arrested for assault and eluding police IN ASPEN. Gentlemen Spartans!

• Georgia coach Mark Richt is used to his seat being warmed by loving Georgia fans.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller examines Colorado’s depth. Sadly, he hasn’t been the same since.

• LSU is looking for an “offense,” whatever that is.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans looks at the different persons of interest and trends regarding recruiting services in a four part series. You can either read it yourself or have a stripper read an audio version to you.

• Barry Switzer is surprised you’d even call what Jim Tressel did “cheating.”

• SI.com’s Andy Staples asks SEC questions. The more I watch the accompanying videos, the more I think “Stew n’ Andy” should be a sitcom after “Meet the Browns” on TBS. <– Meant as a compliment.

• According to the Columbus Dispatch and Bob Hunter‘s giant byline picture, ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit moved to Nashville to get away from a small percentage of Ohio State fans we’ll call “The Crazies.”

• Is Miami OT Seantrel Henderson suspended for Miami’s opener at Maryland? Yes? No? Possibly? Anyone?

• UNC CB Charles Brown, who missed the 2010 season due to the school’s mass agent-connected suspensions, will sit out the Heels’ opener before becoming eligible to play.

• The NCAA sees Yahoo!!!!! reports as “supernaturally good at uncovering NCAA violations.” I think this means Charles Robinson has heat vision, though my reading comprehension is pretty low.

• Arkansas should probably be quite good this year. Rivals has the deets. That may be the hippest sentence I’ll ever write.

• Is Connor Wood outperforming the other Texas QBs during spring practice? The view from the  blimp that the Statesman’s Kirk Bohls rented indicates “possibly.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Zach Galifianakis preparing for his Mr. T sketch on SNL.

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Travis Barker, alumnus of no college or university. With that said, he still has a hell of a tat hookup in Columbus.

*****

• As of now, Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has been suspended two games (Akron and Toledo) and fined $250,000 by his bosses for knowingly playing ineligible players and not fully disclosing his knowledge of their memorabilia sales. The NCAA is yet to fully investigate this and arbitrarily reach a decision of their own.

Here is THE Ohio State documentation and submission to the NCAA. Included is the email proof of knowledge by Tressel.

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach had such high hopes for Tressel.

• UCLA DT Brandon Willis is transferring to North Carolina after committing to Tennessee, enrolling at North Carolina, then transferring to UCLA. We’re all excited to see him exhaust his eligibility without actually ever becoming eligible to play.

• The Huntsville, AL radio host who said he had tapes of Cecil Newton got canned for not actually having them. Oops.

• CBS Sports is priming for Washington State’s spring. Same goes for you, Missouri.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at the questions that Virginia Tech and the ACC face in 2011. Some things you can’t unsee.

• Who are the ten best receivers in the SEC? ESPN’s Chris Low knows. EXCLUSIVE!!

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich went to a Miami practice and all I got were these bullet points.

• Some notes from Texas spring practice. Summary: Nobody knows much right now.

• Fox Sports Southwest examines the questions surrounding TCU’s spring and beyond. I’ll go out on a limb and say some Horned Frog will still wear smeared warpaint as eyeblack.

• An early look at the best non-conference games of 2011. And because it’s Fox, there’s a link in the middle to a site asking, “Are the girls of the SEC the hottest?” Not a joke.

• The Internet has demanded more Wyoming football players showing a camera around their homes and Wyoming football players have delivered.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jackass for Girls.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgwTU9-a_3I

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Washington graduate Anna Faris. She’s attractive, in a new movie that seems like it could be good, and is married to Andy Dwyer. Good enough for me.

*****

• Iowa released a statement reacting to Sports Illustrated’s story regarding the criminal histories of college football players. In conclusion, some Iowa players got drunk before they turned 21.

• Boise State did the same and noted that of the 16 reported offenses, “three have been dismissed, six were traffic related, five were alcohol related, one was for trespassing and one was for battery.” So it looks like the Broncos will press on in lieu of the horrors SI is reporting.

• Additionally, SI‘s story singled out Pitt as a program with players responsible for a number of crimes. And then the story of Pitt OL Fernando Diaz getting tased four times as he resisted arrest came out. Oops.

• After offseason review and the hiring of former NFL VP of Officiating Mike Pereira as a consultant, the Pac-12 has rid itself of 11 referees. Exciting.

• Arizona WR Bug Wright is no longer part of the team. He looked to be a crucial member of a squad expected to be ranked early and then fade late in 2011.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller wraps up the  Pac-12‘s performance at the NFL Scouting Combine. It’s mostly about large people.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett quickly profiles second year Louisville coach Charlie Strong. Lou-uh-vull.

• UConn is down some cash after winning the Big East and failing to convince its fans that the Fiesta Bowl is worth the hassle. Pretty airtight logic.

• A Cecil Newton audio recording has been released, though the term “audio” is open to interpretation.

• New NCAA president Mark Emmert is open to a playoff. This means nothing.

• Did Iowa‘s rhabdo outbreak scare off five-star OT Cyrus Kouandjio from signing with the Hawkeyes? No, it’d be the whole “living in Iowa” thing that did that.

• The new ESPN/Texas network has hired production executives. Adjust your day accordingly.

• Purdue has a new Nike uniform that looks a lot like a Purdue uniform.

• Want to know where Nebraska DE Cameron Meredith stands politically? Wonder no more.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a gut being hit by a pellets from an airsoft gun at 1280 frames per second. It’s transfixing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWQC9AFAr0

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you, once again, by Natalie Portman. I’m told she’ll pregnantly win an Oscar on Sunday. I can’t imagine that there’s any other reason to watch in earnest.

*****

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel fires a shot across the bow at Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton, the man responsible for hiring coaches accusing of violating NCAA rules in both of the school’s major revenue sports.

• If Stanford QB Andrew Luck gets dinged up this fall, he’s still getting PAID.

• Atlanta DE prospect Lorenzo Mauldin accepted an offer to play for South Carolina. And then the day before Signing Day, the school told him, “Not so much.” SEC Football!!!!!

• Texas coach Mack Brown closed spring practice to observers. Prediction: QB Garrett Gilbert will somehow still throw it to the wrong color jersey at some point.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer kicked it with new Miami coach Al Golden. God, my descriptions are so hip.

• USC hired a new WR coach. His name is Ted Gilmore and here to say … he hopes QB Matt Barkley stops staring down his new receivers so much.

• New Texas OC Bryan Harsin had an offer for more years and more money from Les Miles to perform the same job at LSU. Unfortunately, it required coaching at LSU.

• ASU QB Steven Threet is stepping away from football due to suffering multiple concussions. Smart dude.

• California Golden Blogs created a formula called QB Score as a new way of measuring passing efficiency, which concentrates on generating yards against not generating turnovers. I don’t fully understand it, but Cal QB Brock Mansion is well into the negatives, so it feels right.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples reveals his all two-star team. I assume a jar of BBQ sauce or a rib bib gets shipped to each member in their goody bag.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson previews the springs for some notable non-AQ teams.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett does the same for Notre Dame.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Baylor’s “Mr Indispensible,” QB Robert Griffin.

• Wonderful Terrific Monds II is officially a Buffalo Bull. Awesome?

• The Wiz has the complete list of NFL Combine odds. Of course he does.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an exploration into the habitat of the Wyoming offensive lineman.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=haBv3g15mGU

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan talk with Kirk Bohls from the Austin American-Statesman about Mack Brown’s struggles in 2010, the overhaul of the Texas coaching staff, and the impact of losing a BCS Championship game.

Ty and Dan examine the strange case of “Al from Dadeville,” the ballad of Rick Neuheisel, and the various assistant coaching hires around the country.  Plus, listener messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by South Carolina native Vanna White. I can’t imagine she’s happy after Jadeveon Clowney chose the Gamecocks over her own Atlanta Institute of Fashion. Also, White is only the sixth Chorus sponsor to have both “lesbian affair” and knitting” in the same Wikipedia “Personal Life” section.

*****

• Prized DE recruit Jadeveon Clowney announced that he will be attending South Carolina (over Alabama or Clemson) this fall. And 5-7 other yet-to-be-determined recruits will be told they’ll be leaving on their own accord soon. Exciting times!

Oh, and there are eligibility questions.

Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at where this puts South Carolina.

Who wrote about Clowney committing to a sandwich? I’ll tell you who — Spencer Hall of EDSBS, that’s who! Oh ok, that makes sense.

• Arizona State RB Deantre Lewis was shot this past weekend, but apparently avoided any serious injury. That’s a pretty great second part of a sentence to write.

• The Pac-12 has hired former VP of Officiating for the NFL Mike Pereira to overhaul their officiating program. Pac-12 officiating blogs are collectively abuzz.

• 2010 was awful for Texas. Important people anonymously tell us what happened. And now there are MS Paint penises to show you the Longhorns’ offseason in detail. Of course there are.

• ESPN’s bloggers compile valentines to various teams from readers. I’m operating under the assumption that most of the Big East entries are written by made-up people.

Similarly, from the bloggers themselves, there are also valentines and  heartbreakers . Get it? HAHAHAHAH kinda.

• Seattle Seahawks secondary coach Jerry Gray signed with Texas in the same capacitiy for a bit, but has now left to become the DC for the Tennessee Titans. In response, recently-hired Arizona DB coach Duane Akina is going back to Texas to coach the secondary, the same position he held last year. Hurray!

• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is officially getting paid. The right way.

• The latest from the Sam Keller/EA Sports lawsuit. Ty is expected to be brought to the stand to complain about Not Jeremiah Masoli‘s presence on the Oregon roster in the 2011 incarnation.

• Phil Steele has a Top 10 for 2011. It seems like just yesterday that he was the only forecaster with Oregon out of the top 60 before their 2009 Pac-10 championship season and Rose Bowl run. I may have stammered and argued poorly, but I won!!

• The Wiz has an excellent new unsanctioned Mississippi State billboard.

• Do you want to see Justin Bieber answer his phone after his MIke Gundy ringtone goes off? I kinda did.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Weezer performing the full State Farm Insurance song. And it’s probably better than most of their last three albums.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaaHevyxvvA

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Brandon Huffman from Scout.com and Chris Pool of ESPN and Scouts, Inc. to discuss all the action from National Signing Day, including the rise of Oregon and Auburn, the fall of UCLA, the marathon coverage by ESPNU, and thunder snow.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community star, The Soup host, and Washington alumnus Joel McHale, who certainly must hope a redshirt year served some good with Nick Montana.

*****

• Urban Meyer is joining ESPN. I’m on board — smart people being given microphones is generally a good thing. SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) and Spencer Hall discuss.

• With Signing Day tomorrow, Rivals.com sat their writers around a proverbial roundtable to discuss various topics. Today’s thoughts on the Egyption uprising were particularly provocative.

• Rivals also looks at which incoming redshirt freshmen could make the biggest impact in 2011. If Washington QB Nick Montana is even half the QB Jake Locker was, well, they’ll be in serious trouble.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks Jadeveon Clowney is going to be very good for an SEC school. Such courage.

• Florida president Bernie Machen wrote a mini-column for SI.com about oversigning. He’s against it.

• Purdue is now banned from recruiting at a Tampa, FL high school after pulling a scholarship offer to WR A.J. King, who requires knee surgery.

• Four years ago, ESPN named their 150 top high school prospects. See how they fared in college. Or not. It’s up to you, really.

• Scout.com has a “Road to Signing Day” blog where you can follow all of your favorite recruiting stories. And some you just can’t stand.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at Texas coach Mack Brown and 2011 Texas Longhorn recruiting success. If conventional recruiting wisdom is correct, though, Texas will be hit hard in 2012, the recruiting cycle that began during the 2010 season. But probably not.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at the best recruiting classes of the decade. A one-armed Glenn Dorsey still gives me goosebumps.

• Rutgers QB Tom Savage will now be allowed to transfer within the state of Florida. I have a feeling we’ll soon be hearing Savage’s name in the same sentence as “national championship” soon — as in “Miami couldn’t have possibly won this national championship if they signed Rutgers castoff Tom Savage.”

• And finally, no more scooters for Maryland.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for a documentary about Lemmy from Motorhead, entitled, “Lemmy.” I’m particularly excited for Triple H’s insight.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-_Ol3XT6F0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kansas alum Rob Riggle, who I imagine is excited for long lost brother Bret Bielema’s hefty pay increase at Wisconsin. They look very similar … in the faaaaaace!!! Somewhat.

*****

• The Senior Bowl happened. If you missed, here’s a recap to remind you why it was worth missing.

• All the Iowa players hospitalized for rhabdomyolysis treatment have now been released. Safe and speedy, etc.

• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema officially got paid. Goofy Bielema Smile!!

• Pore over the up-to-the-hour recruiting updates on Bryan Fischer’s CBS blog. Today’s was co-written by CBS’s Charlie Sheen — the college football information is accurate, but the hookers are gratuitous, and frankly, a bit clichéd by now.

• Top Nebraska QB recruit Bubba Starling also happens to be Baseball America’s number one high school baseball prospect, which will ultimately mean he has to make a decision. You know what’s better than not being guaranteed a million guaranteed dollars? A million dollars.

• With Wednesday’s Signing Day fast approaching, ESPN’s Bryan Bennett addresses the recruiting needs of Notre Dame and the Big East. He somehow failed to mention the need for the conference to recruit “college football fans.”

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich looks at the past recruiting evaluations of the All-ACC team. It makes it hard to tell if ACC coaches are terrible OL recruiters or all have amazing OL coaches. I don’t know if I care enough to research any further.

• ESPN’s Jamie Newberg examines the SEC recruiting haul ahead of signing day. He even includes everyone’s cap numbers. Thorough.

• Clemson LB Brandon Maye up and left the Tigers. After finding a graduate program not offered at Clemson, he’ll play his senior year in 2011 elsewhere. All signs point to him being a hell of a park ranger wherever he goes.

• Fox Sports’s Adam Caplan reviews the QBs from Saturday’s Senior Bowl. And Jake Locker. (I keeeeedd!!!)

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall looks at Texas‘s recruiting success in the midst of the school’s coaching attrition. Spoiler: The success is still successful.

• Top USC recruit DeAnthony Thomas visited Oregon on the sly this past weekend and may have changed his pledge from the Trojans to the Ducks. This is a neutral sentence about me being impartial about this news story.

• Did new Indiana coach Kevin WIlson yell at dorm RAs for ignoring him? Yes, yes he did.

• Rivals.com won’t officially report a commitment until a letter of intent is signed. Thanks, Seantrel.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Washington Wizards fans dunking poorly attempting layups. And then not.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDAfFvddDo4

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Bryan Fischer from CBSSports.com to discuss all the latest recruiting news, National Signing Day, and how to balance bathroom breaks with prospect announcements.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Iowa alumnus and Willy Wonka himself, Gene Wilder. As far as I know, Wilder never faced serious workout-related kidney overuse. Damn, now I need some chocolate.

*****

• A dozen Iowa players were hospitalized with rhabdomyalysis, a kidney condition that stems from, essentially, working out too much and overexerting the kidneys. Iowa Football: We Piss Excellence … and Dirty Brownish Urine.

• College football conferences made a record $170 million from bowls in 2010-11. That’s like pre-hooker Charlie Sheen money, right there.

• Ohio State hired Florida RB coach Stan Drayton to coach Buckeye WRs. Mr. Drayton, please turn in your playbook and oversized wristband.

• ESPN’s David Ubben reviews the recruiting needs of the Big 12. It wasn’t fair of him, given their conference movement and recent turmoil, to put up a giant “EVERYTHING” next to Colorado.

• ESPN’s Joe Schad reports that Tate Forcier is considering nine different schools for his impending transfer — three of which are FCS programs. Didn’t expect to see Florida A&M in the Forcier sweepstakes, but now they’re who I’m rooting for. Rattler Up!

• Former Florida DB Will Hill claimed a hacker took over his Twitter account and somehow it was the fault of “some blogger” for posting the choice tweets. I don’t see how there could be any holes in this story.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel explains how USC coach Lane Kiffin is dancing around the school’s NCAA sanctions.

• Former touted West Virginia QB Barry Brunetti decided to transfer a few weeks ago and now we can all have a great Wednesday knowing he will be taking his talents to Oxford, MS to play for Ole Miss.

• Rich Rodriguez will serve as an analyst for CBS College Sports on National Signing Day. Yep.

• Texas A&M’s AD Bill Byrne is being a Longhorn Network buzzkill. As he should be.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Seinfeld. But serious.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z14_-En-JTk

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan welcome back Bruce Feldman from ESPN to discuss all the offseason coaching news and his thoughts on Brady Hoke, Mack Brown, Will Muschamp, Rick Neuheisel, and Mike Leach.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brittany Snow, who is on some new NBC legal show. She has no alma mater. Two strikes, but I’m not sure I care.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles the nation’s richest non-bowl team.

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has cred coming out of his vest, yo.

• Everything you ever wanted to know about USC’s NCAA appeal.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers make up to-do lists for their respective conferences. Job #1 for the SEC? Finally stop being so bashful about showing conference pride.

• A Texas appeals court threw out Mike Leach’s breach of contract lawsuit against Texas Tech.

• TCU safeties coach Chad Glasgow is Texas Tech’s new defensive coordinator.

• 2 Live Crew’s Uncle Luke is the new DC at Miami Northwestern High School. This can only end well.

• Arkansas is building new facilities to the tune of $35 million. Woooooooo Piggggggg Players Lounge.

• The Wiz (now in full color Comic Sans!) has conference bowl records against the spread and straight up. Did I mention the Comic Sans?

• With National Signing Day around the corner, Scout has its final “Scout 300″ and Rivals its “Rivals 100.” Just know that by clicking around, you’re only further hurting the feelings of every poor kid that tried to block Jadeveon Clowney.

• Georgia received two blue chip commitments yesterday. They both seemed excited about the prospect of playing for a team with a disappointing ceiling.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features two cellists hammering out “Smooth Criminal.” Culture!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlVbEclPj4c

Enjoy your Friday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Lance Armstrong — (alleged) doping cyclist, (former) Kate Hudson chauffeur, and (current) fan of the Texas Longhorns and, presumably, their new network.

*****

• The University of Texas and ESPN will team up for some sort of 20 yr/$300m network. I don’t know you fill all that airtime around one school, but I think we can all agree the world will be a better place if ladychaps make it to air.

• Former Florida DB Will Hill is excellent at Twitter.

• Michigan has added Baltimore Ravens DC Greg Mattison to its staff in the same capacity. Always smart to jump on a low-bar opportunity.

• Pitt coach Todd Graham is filling out his staff with multiple former Michigan coaches. The newest is TE coach Todd Dews. Yep, It’s that kind of Wednesday.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has the latest in a “soap opera” involving a below average LA college football program. Which one, you ask? Click and find out!

• SI.com’s Andy Staples wrote an All-Name column, revealing God’s Power Offer to the world. About time.

• All five suspended Ohio State players will be back in 2011. The Capital One Bowl is PUMPED.

• The Wiz has his ten favorite “classless” moments of the year.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is fighter planes doing fighter plane stuff. Bew bew!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEe3xfWfkG8

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by University of Arizona graduate Garry Shandling because I just remembered how much I love The Larry Sanders Show, and to a lesser extent The Mike Stoops Show. ANGER!!!

*****

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers list the top 10 moments from their respective conferences. It’s a collection of moments that made me sit back and think, “Hey I remember when I thought that moment mattered.”

• Auburn WR Darvin Adams is skipping his senior season to go to the NFL. You may remember him best as somebody you hadn’t heard of until Cam Newton started throwing the ball to him.

• Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden threw for a bajillion yards and did so with a ruptured tendon in his thumb. Which is almost as impressive as Texas QB Garrett Gilbert playing the entire year with only Texas players around him.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel runs down who has and who will be without returning, experienced talent. If I’m to infer correctly, UCLA is worse off for having Rick Neuheisel return.

• With National Signing Day approaching, Rivals looks back at their 2010 five-star class.

• A guy built a brick by brick replica of Ohio State’s Horseshoe out of Legos. Impressive, but you should see his fully-functioning Lego girlfriend.

• CBS Sports’s Bryan Fischer has a new recruiting blog on the site, “Eye on Recruiting.” It’s a good way to stay up to date without feeling your creepiest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best possible alternative to 3D — complete loss over the use of one’s eyelids. Hurray!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uef17zOCDb8

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Orange Bowl color analyst Jon Gruden. THIS GUY was a backup QB for Dayton in the early 80s.

*****

• Stanford shellacked Virginia Tech last night in the Orange Bowl. QB Andrew Luck was accurate, the line opened up gigantic running lanes, and coach Jim Harbaugh ducked questions about his future and asked that reporters please RESPECT THE PROCESS.

The Detroit Free Press is reporting Harbaugh’s future will come down to Stanford and the NFL — no Michigan plans.

And Michigan should be deciding on coach Rich Rodriguez’s fate shortly. Dun dun DUNNNNN.

In pro-Virginia Tech news, QB Tyrod Taylor did this.

• The Sugar Bowl is tonight. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has keys for Ohio State and ESPN’s Chris Low has keys for Arkansas. The rest of their coverage can be found here.

• Iowa RB Adam Robinson has been dismissed by Iowa. This comes after (wait for it…) he was arrested on marijuana possession charges. Who knows what kind of societal dangers he could’ve presented on MARIJUANA!!*

*Of course I have no idea if this is specifically why he was kicked off the team, he could also have been an awful human to everybody around him.

• LSU RB Stevan Ridley has been academically cleared to play in Friday’s Cotton Bowl. LSU‘s offense is expected to remain free of any direction or identity.

• MIssouri QB Blaine Gabbert declared for the NFL Draft. Makes sense. Indiana’s Tandon Doss, also declared. Less sense.

• The Big 10 was swept on Saturday. This video probably doesn’t make it any easier, midwesterners.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin is boring and “unemotional.” And?

• If you believe outstanding MS Paint comics, Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops may have sent his rival’s best coach to Florida.

• Former BYU OC Robert Anae will now run the offense for Mike Stoops at Arizona. I assume loudly.

• Pitt has to hire a coach. And, uh, soon.

• UCLA LB Akeem Ayers has declared for the NFL Draft. He’s the one that somehow did this.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart looks at how Oregon and Auburn may react to not playing for five weeks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features Top Gear launching a Mini Cooper over a ski jump. Of course it is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEebpG6P0SY

Enjoy your Tuesday + Sugar Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kelly Kapowski. Why? Because Chip Kelly is your AP Coach of the Year and his name has Kelly in it. Shouldn’t even have to explain these anymore.

*****

• Louisville edged Southern Miss in last night’s Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl. See? Dance-brawls DO matter!

• The Cardinals may have been able to ultimately stop Southern Miss, but they didn’t stop this ridiculous catch by QB Austin Davis. Yes, QB.

The band was unimpressed.

• Utah WR Devonte Christopher flipped the script and called Boise State “Girlse State.” I see what you did there!

• Let’s be serious — here’s what to look for and here are some keys for tonight’s Las Vegas Bowl matchup of Girlse State and Utah. Comedy after all!!

• LSU RB Stevan Ridley was ruled academically ineligible to play in the Cotton Bowl. Advanced Biomedical Engineering is a BITCH.

• Tennessee coach Derek Dooley is still getting a handle on Facebook. Accidentally poking every SEC coach is no way to make friends.

• Puppets sing/rap about Notre Dame. Slow news day? Why do you ask? (via edsbs)

• Assistant coaches who perform well are making good money. Also, assistant coaches at Texas are making good money.

• Oregon’s Chip Kelly is the AP Coach of the Year. Clearly emotionally overwhelmed, Kelly issued a touching statement of, “So?”

• Nobody really wants to travel to mediocre bowl games (redundant, I know).

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno turned 84 yesterday. What? WHAT? WHATTTTT?????

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a song from The Lonely Island and Akon. They say “penis” a lot and Blake Lively is there. Woo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

Enjoy your Wednesday + Las Vegas Bowl.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alumnus Sean Astin, aka Rudy, aka the guy from Encino Man, aka a hobbit of some sort. I imagine even Rudy isn’t thrilled with Rick Neuheisel’s wily offseason panic-fest.

*****

• Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen was named ACC Coach of the year a few weeks ago. The reward for his efforts? A nice cool can of Take the Buyout, You’re Fired.

He has yet to take a sip.

• Oh and Mike Leach will be the Terps’ next coach. Or he won’t. Either way.

• Three bowls happened. Yahoo!!!!! has the specifics.

• Troy‘s punter looks a bit different. Or the same if you’re a punter who could also be a bouncer and/or paper towel spokesmodel.

• It now appears that Tennessee DC Justin WIlcox is the favorite to replace Will Muschamp as Texas’s defensive coordinator. Big wristband to fill.

Enjoy the Texas coaching search in MS Paint. (via EDSBS)

• New Miami coach Al Golden is retaining some of former coach Randy Shannon’s assistants.

• UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel doesn’t even know the meaning of retaining. Ok, he probably does, but he also knows the meaning of “scapegoat” and “turd-polishing.”

• Oklahoma RB Roy Finch will miss the Fiesta Bowl with a stress fracture in his foot. The injury that RB DeMarco Murrary will suffer is still to be determined.

• Iowa DC Norm Parker, who missed a good part of the year due to some health issues (including having his foot amputated) will be back next season. Big time.

• Touted prep QB and one time Miami commit Teddy Bridgewater (all-name lock) will be taking his talents to Louisville.

• Auburn will definitely win the national championship. Just ask a local sporting goods stores.

• BYU killed UTEP. And one Cougar assistant brought a winning attitude to his nose.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a victory for large men everywhere. Ohmigod he’s gonna go!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyMBPDch9As

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney, who, in an elaborate rouse, may be systematically taking down the Big Ten. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

*****

• Maryland OC James Franklin should soon become Vanderbilt’s next head coach. Adjust your day accordingly.

• More on the Big Ten’s outstanding PR Monday. I’m still confused as to which division is “Grandpa” and which is “Grandma.”

• After winning the Heisman, Auburn QB Cam Newton took his talents to the Ed Sullivan Theater and presented Letterman’s Top Ten list.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is officially staying put. And for his efforts, he’s getting a little something extra.

• Iowa suspended RB Adam Robinson. Oh, and RB Jewel Hampton has decided to transfer. One more thing — everybody in Iowa City may be a drug enthusiast. DEVELOPING…

• Texas RB coach Major Applewhite will not be coaching at Florida this season. Unless, of course, he is. Which he isn’t.

• Nobody knows what’s going on with Bill Stewart and West Virginia. One thing is certain though — Jack Bogaczyk’s byline picture is way too big.

• The Meineke Car Care Bowl will become the Belk Bowl next year. I don’t know what “Belk” is, so I’ll just assume Charlotte’s bowl is being sponsored by the underside of a pygmy horse.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall ranks the new coaching hires. And then it just spins off into a frantic rhyming nightmare, per usual.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples does much of the same, but his column includes new Miami coach Al Golden standing next to Sebastian, Miami’s mascot — and they don’t look entirely unlike each other. I like it.

• How Florida AD Jeremy Foley convinced Will Muschamp to come to Gainesville. So. Many. Wristbands.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy doing everything better than I can. This is what “cool” is.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan talk about Cam Newton’s miserable Heisman speech and the Big Ten’s laughable press conference before bringing Andy Staples back to discuss all the coaching moves in the world of college football.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly, who I saw on a Texas sideline once (but didn’t take this picture). Mack Brown has since blamed them for this season’s slide.

*****

• Since we last spoke, everybody has hired a new coach (image via). Ahem:

Florida convinced Texas DC Will Muschamp (and his wristband) to leave the Austin Tire Fire for the Gainesville Tire Fire. EDSBS’s Spencer Hall reacts and makes it about blowfish sushi. Of course he does.

Miami hired Solid Verbal Guest (and Temple coach) Al Golden. He once hosted a training video.

Northern Illinois hired Wisconsin DC Dave Doeren.

Vanderbilt seemed to have hired Auburn OC Gus Malzahn, but he’s apparently not in any sort of need of $3 million. Or something.

• Arkansas essentially re-hired coach Bobby Petrino and made it so only Qatar State can buy him out.

• Auburn QB Cam Newton deservedly won the Heisman Trophy and is a consensus All-American.

Butttttt, the Football Writers Association of America did an independent investigation, proved and confirmed that Newton knew about his father’s solicitation the entire time, and subsequently left him off their Harumph Harumph Almost All-American team. I just can’t find a link of their findings yet. Rest assured, though, I will!!!!!

• Despite what he insisted, Urban Meyer may not be the picture of good health.

• I don’t know if I’m pumped or bummed out by this screengrab of Cam Newton and LaMichael James. James is also not impressed by flying Dumbos.

• Hawaii is officially a Mountain West team. So there’s that.

• The Big Ten, in unveiling its new logo and division names, revealed themselves to be exactly what we mostly thought they were — uh, dorks.

• ESPN’s Pat Forde says Texas coach Mack Brown has an uphill battle this offseason, as he needs to hire two new coordinators. Part of the application has leaked and obviously, if you want one of those jobs, certainly check the box next to, “Comfortable under bus?”

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno can’t hear you. But he can run the day-to-day of and make important decisions instantly for a gigantic football program. Yep.

• Navy beat Army again. You’re probably pumped if you own a peacoat.

• Nike will unveil new bowl uniforms for TCU, Boise State, Florida, and, if you can believe it, Oregon.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of lightning bolts.

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the late Leslie Nielsen, who was simply funnier than almost everyone else.

*****

• Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen isn’t going to Florida. Unless he is. In which case, Florida would just keep offering him more and more money. C’mon guys, this isn’t chicken science here.

• The best players in the country won awards last night. I’ve got to admit, in the picture, Auburn DT Nick Fairley looks casual and charming, I may be in the process of getting won over by him after all.

Editor’s Note: Nick Fairley sensed Dan typing his name and appeared out of nowhere, drove Dan into a wall, and ruptured six disks in Dan’s back.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Oregon RB LaMichael James in the wake of the Ducks’ star winning the Doak Walker Award and attending Saturday’s Heisman ceremony as a finalist.

• Last night, Gameday’s Lee Corso was honored by ESPN at their College Football Awards. Long, but a well-done piece for one of the more likable fellows in college football.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is thinking over Vanderbilt’s reported $3 million offer to become the Commodores‘ new head coach. And if Malzahn declines, it’s going to James Franklin, Maryland’s OC. And if Franklin decides against it, they’re going with an adjunct sociology professor who needs the hours.

• Kentucky QB Mike Hartline was arrested for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and an allegation of assault. But the bowls, Mike, WHY WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE BOWLSSSSSSS!?!?

• Newly former Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt will coach the Panthers in the BBVA Compass Bowl, but like the rest of us, he’s just not sure what a BBVA Compass Bowl is.

• Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney tells teams from non-AQ conferences, “You will eat your vegetables, and you will like them, damnit!!”

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall breaks down yesterday’s USA Today op-ed column from BCS Dear Leader Bill Hancock.

• Penn State QB Kevin Newsome will probably soon be Another School QB Kevin Newsome. The same can be said for West Virginia’s Barry Brunetti. (via Dr. Saturday)

• Should Texas coach Mack Brown hire Mike Leach to run Texas’s offense? Richard Justice of the Houston Chronicle seems to think so, and if there’s anything I’ve learned while writing for literally dozens of people, it’s that you always listen to somebody who’s last name is JUSTICE.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a new movie in which Hugh Jackman apparently trains and promotes robots fighting each other in a steel cage. I … just … wow.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAhQA5gT62w

Enjoy your Friday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Bill Cosby, who received a gold medal from something called the National Football Foundation for playing briefly for Temple 50 years ago. No word on how upset he may or may not be about the Owls getting jobbed out of a bowl. Jobbed I say!

*****

• Dave Wannstedt and ‘stache are done coaching at Pitt (but both stay on in a non-coaching role within the athletic department). It’s unclear if it’s termination, resignation, or retirement, but he’s done. And so is star WR Jonathan Baldwin, who declared for the NFL Draft. Offensive coordinator Frank Cignetti takes over and, depending on which stats are important to you, has led offenses at both Pitt and Cal to offensive seasons that fall between average and below average.

• Iowa WR Derrell Johnson-Koulianos is a full-on drug enthusiast. Say goodbye to DJK.

• I don’t know Boise State president Bob Kustra, but I like the fact that he’s willing to go the extra mile to start a feud.

• Speaking of which, Boise State OC Bryan Harsin is being looked at to run Texas’s offense. Perfect, now they just need to start recruiting players who care about “effort.”

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall reviews some of the bowl announcer pairings. He compares Matt Millen to an inexperienced oboe player and it made sense at the time.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have final conference overviews. It’s essentially them saying the same things they’ve been saying (a good thing) all season long, but now they just, uh, do it again.

• USC may buy its own stadium. In typical LA Coliseum fashion, news on this has been pretty quiet so far.

• This week’s split-SI cover. I don’t know the actual ramifications of a double-jinx, I just know that somebody owes me Coke (a-Cola, DJK).

• Oregon WR D.J. Davis honored late Notre Dame video operator Declan Sullivan last Friday.

• Rivals has All-American teams. Even though Auburn DT Nick Fairley was awarded first team honors, he still suplexed the majority of the Rivals editorial staff. Just because.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a Ford Fiesta driven by professional driver Ken Block. I’m worried about the integrity of the tires.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TshFWSsrn8

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you Nike founder Phil Knight. Thanks, Phil.

*****

• The official bowl schedule is out. I think we all remember where we were for our first Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl.

• The final coaches poll was released, and thus, we finally get to see each coach’s final ballot. It’s even more dumb and biased than we’ve thought all along. Hip hip.

• USC fans fought with UCLA fans because a football hit a car during the pre-game tailgate. It ended with stabbing. Officially, Reggie Bush is being blamed.

• Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer gets up, gets up, and gets down. (via edsbs)

• The AP’s Mark Long reports there are rumors Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen is being “eyed” by Florida. Or is using Florida to get, as Ty puts it, an eleventy billion dollar raise from the Cowboys.

• This has nothing to do with anything, but the first few paragraphs of this old CNN/SI profile of Dan Kendra are amazing.

• Given that the regular season is over, ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some pretty definitive power rankings. Oh and bowl overviews. And they’ve collectively made the finest guacamole of anybody ever featured here.

• The Texas Longhorns’ season, in MS Paint.

• And on that note, Texas OC Greg Davis officially resigned and two position coaches retired. Now Texas will go undefeated in 2011. Like for definitely.

• Ole Miss DT Jerrell Powe is going to play in the National Football League. Well, I guess we also thought that about Jevan Snead, so I’ll wait until April to say any more.

• Wisconsin‘s student paper named names. Of students bright enough to sell overpriced bowl tickets in what I’m assuming will be lousy seats in an uncomfortable stadium. Who wants to watch a game from an angle that makes it impossible to see Bret Bielema tasting blood?

• Word from Pullman, WA is Washington State is bringing back coach Paul Wulff. At least that’s what I can make of all those dots and dashes.

• USC student-agent Teague (Teague!!) Egan is now, thanks to NFLPA decertification, just a student. Oh, and a horrible person.

• Oregon play by play announcer Jerry Allen gets emotional during the last few seconds of Saturday’s Civil War. And if you know anything about Jerry Allen, you know that the fact that he was aware of the game clock status is something to celebrate.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel picks through the BCS storylines in this week’s College Football Overtime.

• Lee Corso‘s wacky mascot head has disappeared. Some clues have surfaced, but mostly, this story has made me want to dance to some Basement Jaxx.

• The Wiz has the week in shapshots, the week in video, and the new Colorado coaches arriving.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch.

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Bucknell student Kevin Bacon. He seems like an intense guy — no way is he happy about the 1-11 season the Bison suffered through, BUT they did lose to Lafayette, so naturally, I’m fine with it.

*****

• Arizona kicker Alex Zendejas had two extra points blocked by Arizona State DE James Brooks — one to win it in regulation and one to tie it in double OT. The Wildcats lost and Mike Stoops‘s head is still yet to be recovered.

• Chip Brown of OrangeBloods.com is saying Texas OC Greg Davis will “be replaced.” The nation awaits with bated breath for a new coordinator to find new ways for QB Garrett Gilbert to throw passes into triple coverage.

• NCAA president Mark Emmert defends the Cam Newton decision. It would’ve been much easier if Emmert simply asked, “Hey, what’s that behind you?” and then took off.

• Jim Delaney and Larry Scott, commissioners of the Big 10 and Pac 10, respectively, aren’t thrilled with the Cam Newton ruling. Cam Newton, meanwhile, may be pleased with the ruling, but I assume he’s too busy studying a soon-to-be-vacated gameplan.

• Though he injured his knee against Oklahoma State, Oklahoma RB DeMarco Murray will play tomorrow against Nebraska.

• Whichever team loses the ACC championship game will play in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. So there’s that.

• Syracuse will be playing in the Pinstripe Bowl at Yankee Stadium. Derek Jeter is expected to attend … to the needs of Minka Kelly on some tropical island somewhere.

• Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez played some Josh Groban for the departing seniors at the team banquet last night while pleading for his job. Yep.

• Former Colorado coach Dan Hawkins got a couple mil’ for his troubles (to not coach the Buffs). That’ll do.

• Jon Embree, former Colorado player/coach and current Washington Redskins tight ends coach, has been offered the Colorado head coaching job. Unless he hasn’t been. But he probably has been.

• New Mexico coach Mike Locksley will, due to the always-inspirational situation of his bosses not wanting to buy him out, be back next year.

• Oregon State will be wearing throwback uniforms tomorrow that are, well, kinda awesome.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder (SVBFF) profiles Oregon QB Darron Thomas. What? Like I wasn’t going to link this?

• The Wiz flips through the notebooks of reporters across the country.

• The latest lines for this week’s games. What’s a guy gotta do to lay some paper on Bethune Cookman?

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of Kevin Bacon’s biggest fan, Kevin Bacon. Hey, sometimes you just gotta cut loose.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyQb192-CPQ

Enjoy your Friday + (your last) College Football Saturday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vanilla Ice. I have no idea if he’s a fan of Miami football and/or Randy Shannon, but I can no longer hear anyone say “A1A” without yelling out, “Beachfront Avenue!!!” so I’m sliding him in today.

*****

• TCU is joining the Big East and it will join in all sports (after the 2011-12 academic year). It’s about time -- Coach Gary Patterson can finally tell Texas kids they’ll get to play on Thursday nights in Piscataway, NJ. Where do I sign?

• Miami fired coach Randy Shannon and won’t hire Jon Gruden. Unless they will, which they almost certainly will not.

• Michigan AD Dave Brandon is yet to evaluate coach Rich Rodriguez’s performance, but will do so in about a month. Most important Insight Bowl ever?

• The newest BCS standings are out. Northern Illinois is ranked higher than Florida, Texas, USC, and Georgia.

• Florida DL coach and former Iowa State head coach Dan McCarney is the new head coach at North Texas. Always happy for a “Dan” getting hired.

• You know how Ty and have said that Nebraska‘s fanbase was probably the nicest, most respectful fan base in college football? Well, they’re no longer making the rest of us look bad anymore — I present to you … Nebraska psychopaths!!

• The American Football Coaches Association has an All-American team. I bet they also have delicious pot lucks, go-kart races, and crazy slumber parties with scary stories. Or I’m just imagining that. But yeah right, it’s pretty much true.

• Cal DL coach Tosh Lupoi was suspended for instructing a player to fake an injury against Oregon. Because position coaches going rogue and instituting an individual position game plan without consulting anyone else sounds complete plausible. Mr. Lupoi, here comes the bus, we’re just going to give you a light shove and be on our way.

• Indiana coach Bill Lynch was fired and is now just plain ol’ citizen Bill Lynch.

• Vanderbilt coach Robbie Caldwell will step aside now that his interim year has concluded. That sound you’re hearing is some very excited (or terrified) turkeys.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will fix the Gators by recruiting “tough” players. He then added, “What? Coach Addazio has a lot of heavy furniture that’s not just going to move itself out of the building.”

• USC coach Lane Kiffin explains how USC did what Tulsa couldn’t — lose to Notre Dame.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some especially powerful power rankings and particularly project-y bowl projections. Whatever, you try thinking of two different adjectives to use in a sentence.

• Oklahoma State CB Brodrick Brown played a little game against Oklahoma called “just the tip.” Oh wait, I see what I did there.

• Florida DB Dee Finley has some constructive criticism for Gator fans. And by “constructive,” I mean “thoroughly misspelled demands of mass suicide.”

• Oregon State DT Stephen Paea has power running through his veins. Oh and lots and lots of cortisone.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at new money in his newest College Football Overtime. ***Spoiler*** Texas is old money.

• The Wiz has the snapshots of the week. A disappointed fan in full-costume is featured, which is obviously the best kind of disappointed fan.

• An Auburn fan, celebrating the Tigers’ Iron Bowl win, tackled a snowman, and then did a dainty little celebration. I’m as surprised as you are. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, well, I really have no idea what is or what happens, but it’s right below this sentence.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC60iSTUmRE

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan break down a wild weekend that saw a monster upset by Nevada, a triumphant victory for Auburn, and a defining loss for Rich Rodriguez against Ohio State.  Plus, wackiness in the Big 12, closure in the ACC, and a host of listener Reverbs.

Ty and Dan deliver a super-sized episode, chock full of analysis for all the week’s biggest rivalries, listener e-mails and voice messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by legendary horse trainer and Arizona graduate (Major: Race Track Industry!) Bob Baffert, though I have no idea if he follows college football and has a horse in the race when it comes to Friday’s game at Oregon. You see what I did there? Comedy.

*****

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini apologized for his behavior and confirmed Taylor Martinez’s continued presence on the Huskers. He reiterated, “NBgHJ RN3GL JDaF K77GN&#*@3&* %&#$@(adf*#@!!”

• An Indiana prosecutor is investigating a sexual assault claim against a Notre Dame football player by a woman who died in early September in an apparent suicide.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James left the Cal game with an apparent leg injury and appeared on crutches in a walking boot post-game. He apparently practiced full-go yesterday and should be fine against Arizona on Friday. Upon hearing the news, Cal DT Aaron Tipoti instinctively fell to the ground.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck, Boise State’s Kellen Moore, and Auburn’s Cam Newton are your Davey O’Brien Award finalists. All well and good, but who’s up for this year’s Ken O’Brien? Oh, it appears to be only Garrett Gilbert.

• Speaking of which, Wisconsin RB John Clay, despite managing only 42 rushing yards (due to injury) in November, is a Doak Walker Award finalist. CBS Sports’s Adam Jacoby (correctly) takes issue.

• EDSBS’s Doug Gillett prefers to disagree with you regarding the biggest college football rivalries.

• ESPN’s Gameday will be in Stillwater for Saturday’s Bedlam game, forgoing the excellent idea to have Lt. Jim Dangle be the celebrity picker at Boise State/Nevada on Friday.

• The LA Times’ TJ Simers says it’s not looking good for UCLA OC Norm Chow. But Rick Neuheisel is doing a bang-up job!!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett compares Pitt RB Dion Lewis to West Virginia RB Noel Devine, two backs who have fallen in line with the Big East’s library-quiet presence this season.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris, the Eagles’ one offensive bright spot, could be out 3-6 weeks with torn meniscus. Plug in Kuechly!!

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rewind and fast forward. Because they’ve done so every week and it’s why they get paid Cecil Newton money.

• Want to see this week’s most famous golf cart? Of course you kind of do! (Impressive upholstery)

• Arizona will be down a receiver (suspension) for Friday’s Oregon game. And so will Oregon (injury). Both rock solid names, though.

• Oregon‘s building a new HQ for its football program. It’s expected to be inexpensive, modest, and devoid of any flash. Ahem.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) goes A through Y, and then just for kicks, goes to Z in this week’s Alphabetical. I enjoyed you best, Yale.

• Similarly, SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) tackles some schadenfraude.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney casts an updated Heisman vote because … actually, I really have no idea why.

• This week’s college football lines. Las Vegans (word?) seem to like the Crimson Tide of Alabama.

• This week’s screengrabs of the week (via The Wiz).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is almost guaranteed to make you a vegetarian (if yesterday’s didn’t) or some sort of bloodthirsty maniac. It’s essentially every kind of edible animal combined to form a delicious super-meal called TurBaconEpic. With extra bacon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xc5wIpUenQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan talk about LSU’s close call, Nebraska’s dud, a potential Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl, and the ongoing Dillon Baxter Experiment at USC.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Nick Nolte, crazy person and former Arizona State student (and football player). It’s still yet to be decided if Nolte is the acting world’s Vontaze Burfict or Burfict is ASU’s Nolte. In any case, be careful around either of these two.

*****

• The FBI has quietly been involved with Auburn QB Cam Newton‘s pay-for-play case and interviewed John Bond, the former Mississippi State QB who was told of Newton’s MSU asking price of $180,000. ¡Federales!

• Arizona State coach Dennis Erickson was fined for criticizing officials over a call they made on LB Vontaze Burfict. As a coach, one clearly has to have his players’ back, but really, we’re defending The Walking Personal Foul here?

• Orangebloods’s Chip Brown has a Texas status update. As far as the coaches are concerned, it’s more “Greg Davis is Single” than “It’s Complicated.”

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley won’t be suspended for the Iron Bowl against Alabama next week. Excuse me while I go invest in whichever company sells the most MRI and CT Scan equipment to the southeastern states.

• Purdue WR Keith Smith is looking to be granted a sixth year of eligibility via a medical hardship waiver. He tore his ACL and MCL in Purdue’s second game of the season against Western Illinois. So, you know, at least the game meant something.

• Apparently, Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is coming under fire for running up the score against Indiana. I like that Bielema’s response amounts to, “Hey, your job is to stop us and you couldn’t even stop our scrubs. Also, you’re all pansy MFers.” I like this. He’s like a reverse Bob Stoops.

• Miami QB Stephen Morris will start this Saturday when the Hurricanes host Virginia Tech. With a wall of up to 13,000 Miami fans behind him, no less.

• Iowa State QB Austen Arnaud‘s career is over after after sustaining multiple knee injuries against Colorado. His left knee requires “total reconstruction.”

• The Biletnikoff Award (WR) finalists were announced. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but it reminded me of how stacked the country is with great receivers. Not that any of them are touching Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon, but I can appreciate their efforts.

• Illinois coach Ron Zook doesn’t want to talk about a bowl game. Only he really, really does. Also, it sounds like he’s about six years behind on his cough drop cycle.

• NC State LB Nate Irving is angered by running backs. And probably deserves 30-40 yards for this anger. (via edsbs)

• “Not much can be done” about Oregon‘s opponents faking injuries, according to ESPN’s Ted Miller. It’s pretty much a waiting game — eventually, though, the testes drop.

Supposedly, a Cal source confirmed that “injuries” were part of the game plan.

• “Our fans are better than the Aggies’ fans,” says Nebraska coach Bo Pelini. I’ve been to both Lincoln and College Station, and, uh, yep.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Neil Young (Jimmy Fallon) and Bruce Springsteen (Bruce Springsteen) covering the song, “Whip my Hair.” If you’re unfamiliar with the song, you probably lead a rewarding, successful life. If you are familiar with the song, you know that it means music is dead. This version, though, is awesome.

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Farley (Marquette ’86), who is WAY funnier than Nick Fairley. He also wears little coats in a much more convincing fashion.

*****

• Auburn pulled away late from Georgia to remain undefeated. Both The Wiz and SportsbyBrooks have irrefutable video evidence that Auburn DT Nick Fairley would be satisfied if and only if Aaron Murray was unable to walk until scientific advancements allowed him to do so. Oh and his drive to injure only kicked in when Murray was far out of the play and defenseless.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt will not be the next Colorado coach. Or maybe he will, who knows.

• Three Southern Miss players were shot in a nightclub and subsequently hospitalized. They remain in fair condition.

• TCU offensive line coach Eddie Williamson suffered a heart attack in the first quarter of Saturday’s game against San Diego State. Actually, while we’re at it, will somebody check on Prolate Spheroid Sam?

• Due to concerns over head injuries, Texas RB Tre’ Newton has decided to give up football. Probably the smartest move he’ll ever make. Godspeed.

• Boise State MLB Byron Hout is out for the remainder of the year after breaking a foot against Idaho.

• Illinois plays Northwestern at Wrigley Field this week. It’s a game the BCS would rather you not care about, as it’ll be interesting to watch just because it’ll be interesting to watch. Here’s what one of the end zones looks like. Deliberate human injury seems so likely that it’s already been nicknamed “The Nick Fairley Side.”

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have conference race updates. Not too interesting, but we’re throwing our support behind Syracuse in the Big East. Not that we can actually see the games, but we’re all in on Doug Marrone. So in the spirit of Ty’s recent reverse jinx success … Go Pitt!

Oh, and there’s also power rankings, which aren’t nearly as cool as our soon-to-be-created Thunderskull Rankings. Which would you rather read? Exactly.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new College Football Overtime. You probably thought you were just getting Regulation Mandel, and then, WHAM, overtime!!

• The AP’s Ralph Russo is exhausted by the BCS. Perhaps the column of the weekend.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of inspirational speeches from movies. It’s only two minutes long, but whoever’s in the next cubicle over is DONE.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wRkzCW5qI

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan go through all the Week 11 action and break down Oregon’s close win on the road against Cal.

Ty and Dan analyze the latest on the Cam Newton situation in light of recent comments by purported associate Kenny Rogers.  Plus, e-mails, voice messages and Week 11 picks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Carrabba, aka Dashboard Confessional, aka guy who attended Florida Atlantic. The Owls play Florida next year, which is actually not very emo at all. Let us all celebrate the fact that Howard Schnellenberger and Chris Carrabba are associated with the same institution.

*****

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez expects himself to be 100% for Kansas on Saturday. He then added, “But 44% would do the trick, it’s Kansas, right?” Ohnohedinnnnt. No, he didn’t.

• The University of Texas regents gave their OK to the future Texas-centric TV network. I’m pretty excited to never, ever watch this unless absolutely forced to. Wouldn’t it have been easier just to call it CBS College Sports Southwest?

• Mississippi State contacted the SEC regarding the recruitment of Cam Newton back in January. “Ruh roh!!” That’s me as Scooby Doo reacting. Why? I have no idea.

• Colorado interim coach Brian Cabral speaks. It’s much easier to coach a football team that way.

• Next year, Florida will play Florida Atlantic, UAB, and Furman. Alabama will play Kent State, North Texas, and Georgia Southern. No decisions have been made yet, but given their salaries, you just KNOW Urban Meyer and Nick Saban will be wearing some beautiful dresses.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers tell you what to watch and make game predictions. I looked, and there’s actual text under the headline “What to Watch in the Big East.” Credibility = Gone.

• Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen breaks down one of the many plays I’ll be using during my Thanksgiving flag football game. Just gotta figure out how to make it work for limited-contact 4 on 4.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall alphabetizes. It’s harder than you think.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel (SVBFF) projects all of the bowl matchups. I’m calling it right now: this year’s Meineke Car Care Bowl will be the best Meineke Car Care Bowl of the year!!

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has pictures of Yankee Stadium and Wrigley Field as they prepare to host Notre Dame/Army and Illinois/Northwestern.

• Alabama RB Trent Richardson is a maybe for Mississippi State. So to those of you trying to figure out if he’ll underwhelm with 63 yards or 77 yards, you’ll have to keep on guessing. But he’s totally better than Mark Ingram. Trust me.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is gameplay of NES’s ExciteBike. I don’t know why, I just remember really liking this game immensely. And then overheating constantly. Grrrrr.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=543dG0EWcYM

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Robert Redford, former Colorado student and bartender at The Sink in Boulder. He’s also ready for new football leadership for the Buffs and I just made that up.

*****

• Florida coach Urban Meyer Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is reporting that Auburn QB Cam Newton had “three different instances of academic cheating” during his time at Florida. I put quotes around Evans’s words, because I didn’t write them. That would be cheating. Ahem.

It’s ok, though, Auburn fans have Newton’s back. And Mark Schlabach‘s front. And Pedro Gomez‘s brief torso. They’re angry.

• After officially being told of the school’s coaching change, Colorado coach Dan Hawkins is now private citizen Dan Hawkins. Though the story is in Boulder, Kansas is THE current team that’s so mind-blowingly bad that a coach can be fired for losing to you. Rock Chalk, indeed.

Oh, and Dan Hawkins was all like “Peace out, MF’ers!”

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez is expected to start against Kansas this weekend. His ankle is improved and he should have a very productive quarter.

Also, Nebraska‘s using the same sandwich board technique Oregon and Oklahoma State use to send in plays.

• Cincinnati QB Zach Collaros is also expected to start at West Virginia. Good news for Bearcats fans, bad news for Big East Chas/Chazz-out fans.

• Wisconsin RB John Clay is questionable against Indiana due to a knee injury. Damn, looks like some other big dude will have to carry the ball 27 times for 141 yards. Gosh.

• Texas coach Mack Brown is not ready to give up on QB Garrett Gilbert. Cute.

• EDSBS has this week’s “Best in Class.” Just once I’d like this to be about Donald Trump ranking college football stories in terms of classiness. “Colorado blowing that lead? That’s definitely not claaaaaaaaaaaassssy.”

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers rewind and fast forward, and then accidentally DVR a rerun of The Gilmore Girls, watch anyway, and come to realize it’s not that bad at all.

• Washington AD Scott Woodward “clarifies” his “remarks” about Oregon and issues a non-apology. Seems like he did a lot of soul-searching and a fair amount of pants-pooping before deciding to come forward with an “I’m sorry you were offended”-type statement.

• I enjoy first-time LSU visitor stories. SB Nation’s Andrew Sharp did a much better job with his than I did with mine.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney with this week’s Heisman Watch. What do you guys think of him having LSU’s Drake Nevis at #1? Just kidding it’s the standard QB/RB/WR, the only players that REALLY matter.

• SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) lurves him some Texas in the newest “This Week in Schadenfraude.” It features crying and swearing, etc. Good times.

• Noted Mexican cuisine expert Rick Bayless offers up his recipe for bacon guacamole. This has nothing to do with college football, but this week’s games seem mostly anti-climactic and guacamole is, as always, climactic.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of newly-minted TBS host Conan O’Brien. In India.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIZCtDJtFPw

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by awful human being Ted Bundy, graduate of the University of Washington, a non-embarrassing academic institution.

*****
• CBS cameras caught LSU coach Les Miles eating grass during the Alabama game. Apparently it wasn’t the first time. This singular act is why college football is light years beyond the NFL.

• This week’s BCS Standings are out. You know they’re legit when an exceedingly average Kansas State team checks in at #24.

• The Denver Post is reporting that Dan Hawkins job at Colorado is safe “for now.” It should be noted that a hacker installed a macro in the computers at The Denver Post that changes the words “absolute dust” to “safe.” Just for giggles.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno won his 400th game. Word from State College, PA was that the coach celebrated quietly with family and a printout of the names and positions of his current starters. He’ll have it memorized by bowl time, damnit.

• Washington Athletic Director Scott Woodward watched his school lose AGAIN to Oregon, but took the time to call the academics at Oregon an embarrassment. And now a brief non-sanctioned Oregon rebuttal.

1. Woodward probably poops his pants all the time. I don’t know if this is true or not, but my subpar Oregon education never came with a manual explaining whether or not it’s ethical to imply who is and is not a Mr. Poopypants.

2. Woodward is the athletic director at Washington and has nothing to do with how good or bad Washington’s academics is or is not. Your revenue sports are (at best) average, your football stadium is dumpy, and you send out Jake Locker postcards. Congratulations.

• There was an exciting end to a game between two anonymous unranked teams.

• The Pac Twen announced its 2011 schedule. And you thought the next 23 seconds of your life would be uneventful. Ha!

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel, in his weekly College Football Overtime column,  implies that the SEC would be better served just shutting down football as a conference sport. Or it’s the usual column reviewing the week in college football. I can never tell.

• CBS Sports’s Eric Sorensen grids it up, giving awards to teams, people, and abstract concepts. Everyone will treasure these forever.

• CBS Sports’s Dr. Jerry Palm says the TCU-Boise State battle is “far from done.” Seriously, it’s in the title, why would I make that up?

• EDSBS has power rankings that go on distracted tangents quicker than … ooh I could go for an English muffin. How good are those nooks and crannies?

• LSUFreek has Nick Saban peeing in a bathroom next to a tiger. You may think he’s just putting Saban’s head into a scene from “The Hangover,” but really that’s exactly what’s going on. Kudos, Mr. College Education.

• Another Florida freshman may be in the doghouse. This one is DT Dominique Easley. He’ll either be the best Florida DT ever or will be off the team by December. There’s no in-between.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers have conference race updates. We at The Solid Verbal vehemently disagree with the notion that Texas is last in the Big 12 South, as Texas is still very much Texas.

*Note to Ty, if I knew how to autotune, I would produce no less than 17 electronic dance hits with you saying, “Texas is still Texas.” And the chorus would include, “speaking of pedophiles.”

• The Wiz (aka The Kingmaker) has local and national Week 11 reactions and the week’s snapshots. Texas fans seem bummed. Mack Brown Karma is a BITCH.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an outstanding trick play (via The Wiz).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UIdI8khMkw

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan discuss a crazy week of high-scoring action and a very important statement win by TCU.  Plus, Reverbs and poking more fun at Ty’s locks.

Ty and Dan discuss the breaking news about Cam Newton’s recruitment, play voice messages, read e-mails and break down all the Week 10 action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Will Ferrell, because sometimes it just feels right when somebody as successful and talented as he is, roots for USC and is repeatedly disappointed. I think we’re all just assuming USC’s season is karma for Land of the Lost, anyway.

*****

• The new BCS standings have been released. As have the new polls. I’ve got to agree with the coaches here — screw NC State, how dare they beat Florida State, have the same record, and expect to be ranked ahead of them. Totally lame.

CBS Sports’s Dr. Jerry Palm goes deeper to explain what it all meeeeeaaaaannnns.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd says Texas is past the stage of “laying down.” This makes me think the Dennis Dodd has been actively watching Texas football this season. Kudos.

• Auburn football players love both Halloween, and clearly, their own junk pressed up against tight-fitting clothing.

Yahoo!!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has video.

• Michigan State lost to Iowa. Again and again and again and again.

• Clemson Clemson’d to Boston College. Woops.

• Miami QB Jacory Harris was hit hard at Virginia. You read that correctly.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers file conference race updates. I was a bit disappointed when I learned that this wasn’t Heather Dinich waxing poetic on how people of different cultural backgrounds are getting along in the coastal states.

The bloggers also