Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Stiller, brief UCLA attendee. Fockers aside, I’ll still watch Zoolander whenever/wherever.

*****

• LSU OC Steve Kragthorpe is stepping down as LSU’s offensive coordinator, but will continue to coach QBs after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. This is awful. The absolute best to him and his.

• The first USA Today Coaches’ Poll is out. You can’t imagine how much it means. Mostly because it means nothing.

• Parlazed Rutgers DL Eric LeGrand spoke to SportsCenter about his recovery. Always awesome.

• The B1G will go to nine conference games in 2017. Let’s all take a moment to remember Eastern Michigan.

• Texas WR Malcolm WIlliams is leaving the Longhorns.

• Butch Davis offered a UNC scholarship (written) to his QB son Drew before he got let go. Naturally, UNC chancellor Holden Thorp committed an NCAA violation talking about how mad it made him.

• UNC DL Brandon Willis just likes the road, man.

• Purdue has new, über plain uniforms. About right.

• Four Big East teams open camp today. ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has quick hitters.

• She does the same for BYU, which I have taken to phonetically pronouncing “Bayou” out loud just to spice things up.

• The Iron Bowl is being used to arrest deadbeat dads (complete with a fun soundtrack!). Really.

• Rivals has DL rankings. SALTINESS ABOUND.

• Auburn may utilize a redshirt freshman RB who checks in around three bills. DO IT.

• SI.com contributor George Schroeder examines Larry Scott’s ability to further expand the Pac-12.

• South Carolina isn’t down with the Twitter. #SadTweet is a real thing.

• Dr Saturday‘s Pac-12 Week continues with the Oregon schools and hot seats. #SadNeuFace

• Trans-conference robbery is a real thing!

• USC practice opened up last night. We could be setting our watches to Baxter Time for at least a few quarters, at which point he’ll probably just wander off somewhere.

• Rivals has a Big East preview. Where have I seen this before? That’s right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dude traveling the world, six frames at a time.

Enjoy your Friday. Shirts increasing in volume next week, buy now to tell your friends you bought when it was cool.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Mark Ennis from BigEastCoastBias.com about expectations at West Virginia, the Tino Sunseri Experiment in Pitt’s new offense, USF’s progression as a major football program, UConn’s mantra for 2011, and prop bets for his own wedding.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the always-dreamy Harry Hamlin, Yale graduate. Excuse me, after last night, it’s Big Dog, Yale graduate (NSFW language).

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks with paralyzed Rutgers player Eric LeGrand about kickoffs.

• Nebraska QB signee Bubba Starling is still figuring out if he wants to take $7.5 million from the Kansas City Royals. Good one!

• Syracuse WR Marcus Sales is quite serious about the drugs that may or may not belong to him in his vehicle. Felony drug charges now exist for Sales.

• Illinois LB Ashante Williams has been suspended indefinitely. So So Indef.

• You were all probably wondering if Terrelle Pryor‘s high school mentor was cleared three years ago of improper booster behavior, right?. Good news for all.

• Fox Sports Houston talks the 2011 schedule of… Houston. I know, right?

• Need a little Holgorsen to get your August started? Of course you do.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Georgia, a team with numbers in all of the right places (except the pesky W-L columns).

• UCF coach George O’Leary just wants to be liked. By everyone.

• More B1G team previews and conference forecasting are now available (FREE) as Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday concludes B1G Week.

• Penn State QB Paul Jones (former 5*) will miss 2011 with academic issues.

• USC is the latest Rivals team preview. Again, these Rivals previews would be a good place to start learning about more than just the QB’s name when you talk about a team (ahem, anonymous TV analysts).

• Michigan DC Greg Mattison is getting bizzay in Ann Arbor. I’m so in touch.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an older lady being thrown about and terrified in Corvette. Always funny.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cTR9Ak6X9U

Enjoy your Monday. Support the Verbal.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Missouri State (then SW Missouri St) attendee, just-announced Community actor, and all-around good thespian John Goodman.

*****

• Big 12 Media Day was full of Longhorn Network fun.

• Former Alabama WR Julio Jones was a man of many suits, just like we all were in college. No big deal.

• South Carolina QB coach G.A. Mangus really had to go. Like REALLY.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy looks ahead to September 17, the ACC‘s day of reckoning. Dun dun DUN.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner updates the Pac-12′s search for a network partner. Let’s assume for now that The Solid Verbal is out of the running.

• The NCAA will hold a summit to talk about proprietary TV networks. Probably a good idea.

• CBS Sports has a new feature called Rapid Reports with quick breaking news for the bigger CFB programs. And Maryland. (press cmnd-D shortly)

• To those that said ESPN being involved in the Longhorn Network would affect their own Texas coverage… you have a point (via EDSBS).

• Missouri coach Gary Pinkel isn’t a fan of the Longhorn Network.

• Take a look at Texas DC Manny Diaz’s defense. He’s crafty.

• Texas coach Mack Brown talks about protecting QBs. He ends up saying very little.

• ESPN has choice Big 12 Media Day quotes and storylines. Also, OSU coach Mike Gundy‘s hair looks darker.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich has a Day 2 ACC media day notebook. Punting is somehow involved.

• Boston College coach Frank Spaziani talks the ‘stache. He’s the best.

• Unofficial preseason B1G polls are out. Gobble ‘em up!

• ESPNU’s Tom Luginbill has recruit summaries from something called “Gridiron Kings.”

• Is Clemson coach Dabo Swinney already running out of time? Perhaps, says Fox Sports South’s Andrew Jones.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly doesn’t have a preview today. But if he did, it’d be South Carolina. I’m such a prankster.

• Paralyzed Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand is awesome.

• It’s B1G Week for Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday. Go get yourself some learnin’.

• Michigan’s too good for non-Notre Dame non-conference road trips. Not everyone can be men.

• Former top Miami S recruit Latwan Anderson will be making his way to Cincinnati.

• Rivals previews BYU. Fact: If you read all of the previews Rivals and Dr. Saturday do, you’re somewhere between 10-15x more informed than almost everyone on TV. Do it!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is my favorite scene from The Big Lebowski (N-S-F-W). Sometimes, I just need it. Happy Birthday, Keeerrrttt1!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPo9OBrIOi4

Enjoy your Tuesday. Get flossy.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Southern Miss graduate Jimmy Buffett, who’s responsible for all of this excellent Mike Leach-Key West stuff. Good enough.

****

• Paralyzed Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand stood up. AWESOME.

• Ohio State AD Gene Smith figures everything’s cool now in Columbus. Ok then.

• It appears that Georgia Tech may have violated some NCAA rules. You have three options — stay tuned for more, stop paying attention, or keep the ball yourself.

• The NCAA isn’t done with Auburn. Allegedly.

• West Virginia OG Josh Jenkins will miss the 2011 season after undergoing knee surgery.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer profiles compliance. Pretty much the sexiest thing of the entire offseason.

• Football Study Hall has adjusted strengths of schedule. I don’t know if Bill Connelly has kids, but if he does, I have a feeling he’s constantly disappointed with their F/+ rating.

• ESPN debates what motivates the SEC and B1G. The piece is accompanied by one of the most attractive pictures ever to be featured on ESPN.

• Now that you know how secondaries in the Big 12 are ranked (in July), you may move on with your day.

• John Legend likes Ohio State. The universe just balanced out a little. “Take that, talented guy who dates supermodels!”

• Fox Sports West profiles USC WR Brice Butler.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly contends that Oregon State has misplaced aggression, which is one of the worst types of aggressions there is.

• Syracuse coach Doug Marrone is an outstanding human.

• They’re dropping like flies in Tempe. Slutty, slutty flies.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it and then talks with Maryland coach Randy Edsall. The multiple hustles continue!

• The sweatervest is alive and well in Ohio.

• Utah OC Norm Chow will make $500,000 to not coach at UCLA. Good gig if you can get it.

• Rivals looks back at all of the 5-stars of the “Rivals” era. You’ll learn who wins “Best Five Star” at the upcoming Rivies.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Seth Meyers monologging (sp?) at the ESPYs last night. I didn’t watch the whole thing. Mostly because I wanted to do something else.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGrq5RJ-wYw

Enjoy your Thursday. Shirts!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chicago State attendee Kanye West. “College Graduate” or “Ph.D Candidate” just doesn’t have the same ring for a huge hip-hop album, does it?

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd got probation in his DUI case. I wonder how he’s going to celebrate.

• New Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson talks about his commitment to the Badgers. It’s about 30% as exciting as you think it’ll be.

• Wisconsin getting QB Russell Wilson somehow affects Oregon State, because the Beavers you see, at one point, had a shot in Madison this year.

• Two Alabama players have been suspended and each of them has an awesome name.

• ESPN ranks Big East WRs. Rutgers apparently has the best corps, which of course makes no sense.

• UNC DE Quinton Coples should be good to go. Sorry, ACC.

• ESPN then ranks B1G OL, which, if memory serves, is all of them.

• Rivals is counting down all 120 teams. Get yourself knowledge’d up.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly is selling on Arizona. The troublesome detail of them replacing nearly all of their big people worries him/everyone.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi appears on the CBS College Football Podcast. We will bury you, CBS. (or link to your podcast with writers we like)

• Oklahoma CB Tony Jefferson really knows how to put things into perspective.

• LSU has received less attention for its dealings with Willie Lyles than Oregon has. LSUFreek explains why. Kind of.

(I hope I inspired this.)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the Mission Impossible 17 trailer. I just can’t quit you, Brad Bird.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0LQnQSrC-g

Enjoy your Wednesday. Dress yourself.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Steve Buscemi, former OLB for the Lee Strasberg Film and Theater Institute football team. Ok that was a joke … he played left guard.

*****

• Beyond the emails, former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel probably had a kick-ass text messaging plan. Go unlimited or go home, son.

• Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton resigned this morning. You’d think he’d be given a longer leash after BOTH of his hires of coaches in revenue sports ran afoul of the NCAA and can be considered thorough Tennessee failures. Sheesh.

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart asked local reporters for dirt on OC/CIW Dana Holgorsen in the days before he was hired, leading to the recent leaks that Holgorsen was asked to leave casinos early in the morning. Fall camp is going to be FUN.

• WVU AD Oliver Luck gave an interview to 93.7 The Fan in Pittsburgh this morning. Here are some quotes.

• Top incoming Nebraska QB Bubba Starling was taken 5th overall in the MLB Draft. I believe Steve Miller said it best.

• Tommy Tuberville is an increasingly silly man.

• Mike Leach is an increasingly logical and bright man.

• Football Study Hall pumps out an Arizona State preview. ASU LB Vontaze Burfict just murdered Football Study Hall.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers review the 2010 ESPNU 150 selections after their freshman years. The SEC appears to have a lot of entries.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson talks to Rutgers coach Greg Schiano. I wonder if Rutgers fans still say things to each other like, “Hey remember 2006? That was AWESOME.”

• The Mountain West has a new logo. Oh and this is their time. Or something.

• Georgia is excited for new enormous NT John Jenkins.

• Former USC RB coach Todd McNair, the coach at the center of the NCAA‘s investigation of Reggie Bush, is formally suing the NCAA for “libel, slander, tortious interference with prospective economic advantage, tortious interference with contractual relations, breach of contract, negligence and declaratory relief.” That kind of thing.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has officially stopped sleeping and has moved on to slamming the SEC over banning graduates from other programs from transferring to an SEC school and playing immediately. Also, he lists the top 25 jobs in college football.

• USC MLB Devon Kennard is now USC DE Devon Kennard.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of the greatest movie threats ever. You better watch (language NSFW fo-sho) …

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbIlLmCID5g

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by somebody named Blake Lively, who apparently is now a fake naked person who may or may not coincidentally have a movie coming out soon. Crazy how that works.

*****

• The SEC spring meetings began and oversigning was the topic du jour.

• Kansas DC Carl Torbush decided to retire to devote his attention to battling “low grade prostate cancer.” Let’s hope for a swift, speedy Torbushian recovery.

• ESPN’s Mark May has spelling credibility! <— I don’t know what “credibility” means.

• Deadspin’s Tommy Craggs very intelligently argues that Jim Tressel is a “symptom, not the disease.”

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly studies Rutgers. Our sympathies.

• Incoming Oregon LB Tyson Coleman was chased down (on bike) and arrested by police after ditching an unopened can of 4Loko. Yep.

• SEC coaches react to Jim Tressel’s resignation. I’m not sure Houston Nutt actually knows what happened. Seriously.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall eulogizes Jim Tressel. Oh don’t act surprised that there’s a “suck it” reference in the first paragraph.

• Texas compliance is for real.

• Top incoming South Carolina recruit Jadeveon Clowney is most likely eligible. Hurray!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jon Stewart tap dancing on Sarah Palin.

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the newly single Arnold Schwarzenegger, a University of Wisconsin-Superior correspondence graduate and lover of all things derriere.

*****

• After receiving an extension, Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald will be continuing his reign of efficient spread passing terror through at least 2020. TERROR.

• Georgia RB Washaun Ealey will soon be (other team) RB after being granted his unconditional release from Georgia. If he becomes dominant wherever he goes, I’m calling dibs now on a nickname of “The Moving Violation.”

• Missouri QB Tyler Gabbert (younger brother of Sunshine Gabbert) announced his intention to transfer, with Clemson, according to his father, as a possible landing spot. Despite no college passing attempts, Mel Kiper already lists him on the big board.

• Four Miami players of minimal consequence are transferring. Oh well.

• Football Study Hall gets down and dirty with Duke. Not pretty.

• TCU doesn’t return a ton, but they’ve done enough to warrant a spring wrap from ESPN. It’s to be expected that MLB Tank Carder will hunt you down if you don’t click the link.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday examines TressellBall. What, you thought you were done with Craig Krenzel? NEVER!!

• Earlier in the offseason, Rutgers added former Pitt and Cal offensive coordinator Frank Cignetti to install an actual offense. For those expect an immediate impact, take a slow look at that resumé once again.

• USC WR Brice Butler announced his decision to transfer before announcing his decision to remain a Trojan. Without any knowledge to support this, due credit should be given to USC’s new on-campus Chick-fil-A. Works wonders.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Rafael Nadal getting fancy between his legs. Never hesitate to send me trick tennis shots. Never.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mevFnV5rCuI

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Brian Bennett from ESPN.com about Charlie Strong’s impact at Louisville, Greg Schiano’s stock at Rutgers, Dana Holgorsen’s arrival at West Virginia, and overall parity in the Big East.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Pat Sajak, Columbia College (Chicago) alumnus. I condsidered using him alongside Trebek in last week’s video, but there’s just too much damn clapping and crazy sounds behind his voice. Gotta keep it clean, Wheel.

*****
• Touted UCF QB signee DaMarcus Smith asked for his release just a few weeks after signing day. This is after a last-minute switch to UCF from Louisville. I’m guessing Smith is the annoying guy at the table who asks for a couple more minutes while everyone else is ready to order. Twice.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer previews Oregon’s spring. He has the audacity to use the word “Yruretagoyena.”

• Penn State DE Pete Massaro tore his ACL and will miss the 2011 season. And this is after WR Curtis Drake broke his leg last week.

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel signed things last week while weird looking people looked on. There’s no way this series of photographs can be described more accurately.

• Things are a-changin’ in Minnesota. KILLLLLL.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller attended a Utah practice and now he thinks he knows everything. Ok, he knows enough for six solid bullet points.

He also lists Pac-12 QB depth charts.

• Urban Meyer goes to a Notre Dame practice and watches them hit each in close confines. Settle down.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Nebraska practice bullet points. Only four, though. Point Miller.

• Lane Kiffin, actor.

• Football Study Hall statifies the Houston Cougars. You knew this was coming. Statify!

• FX will show a weekly game this fall from a pool of Pac-12, Big 12, and Conference USA games. Game changer. Something else.

• The Pac-12 is considering Sunday games if the NFL lockout continues. Fun.

• Illinois is having a series of practices this spring. Rivals’s Tom Dienhart confirms this.

• Rivals also previews UCLA and Rutgers. Yes, this is the meat of the Click Chorus.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best 90s Internet warning video I’ve seen all day. I now know that mustachioed sleeveless men are skeevy. Saved me a lot of time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yo_24bC_cM

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Tufts University student Jessica Biel. Fun Fact: I once saw her execute a perfect flip throw-in during a club soccer game like twelve years ago. More Fun Facts: Tufts is known as the Jumbos, wears baby blue, and went 1-7 last year. They basically own Hamilton.

*****
• Oregon is willing to comply with any questions the NCAA has regarding their use of recruiting services. While they’re at it, I wouldn’t be completely against the NCAA forcing Oregon to institute quality late night food establishments on 13th St. Do what needs to be done, guys.

• ESPN’s David Ubben recaps a somewhat eventful weekend in the Big 12 (Iowa State arrests!). Excuse me, eventful for early March.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa is still healing from his achilles injury. I have the video to prove it. Fine, ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has the video.

• Virginia Tech went to the Orange Bowl — yaaaay!!!! Virginia Tech lost $1.6 million doing so — awwwww!!!

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer visited Rutgers and talked to coach Greg Schiano about the progress of paralyzed DT Eric LeGrand and the future of Rutgers football.

• If there’s an NFL lockout, playing on Sundays could maybe sort of become a college football option, but probably kind of.

• Tim Tebow and Urban Meyer get caught up in the forbidden dance at Disneyworld.

• Washington players have been exercising. Good idea, guys.

• Rivals’s Mike Huguenin (pronounced An-der-son) looks at problematic 2011 defensive position situations.

• Rivals also previews Utah going into the spring. This includes the casual inclusion of a possible new QB named “Griff.”

• Virginia fans took Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow” and made it “Blue and Orange.” It’s so much worse than you think it is.

• A former Auburn basketball player also threw his proverbial rap hat into the ring with a Toomer’s Corner video. I get that people want to express their feelings through music, but wher are the emo and/or rockabilly versions?

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is “The President’s Speech.”

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnxNnJYziMY

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter here.

Because it’s much easier to just list things than figuring out a cohesive narrative, I organized a chaotic National Signing Day into three thoroughly unoriginal categories.

The Good

Florida State
Certain words come to mind when looking at the players Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher signed, but I’ll go with “unfair.” Depth on both lines has been exponentially secured for years to come and speed has been added to both the offensive and defensive backfields to further load (all from FL) what looks to be the ACC Atlantic division favorite for years to come. Despite all of this, the first thing I think about? E.J. Manuel better not screw this up.

Isiah Crowell
What’s better than announcing your commitment to the big school in your home state (Georgia)? Doing it with a puppy, that’s what. Shrewd.

Urban Meyer
Here’s what we want from our analysts – homework, opinions, and an ability to articulate both of these things in a clear, concise manner. Urban Meyer intimately knew what he was talking about (having recruited most of the prospects he spoke of), took clear positions, and seemed natural doing so 4-5 hours into an all-day broadcast.

USC
There are a lot of reasons why USC is an attractive place to play – location, opportunity, academics, tradition, and exposure come to mind. I’m not sure the promise of development, college coaching success, and program stability fall into that list, which is why the Trojans nabbing ten Rivals 100 players is all the more impressive. Somebody smarter than I now needs to place all this potential in “Potential Transfers,” “Potential Troublemakers,” and “Potential Somehow Reached” columns.

DeAnthony Thomas
Come on, you had to be expecting this here.

This VW Commercial
I saw it yesterday, so it counts.

The Bad

Iron Bowl Pressures
Noted prospects Brent Calloway (OLB) and Cyrus Kouandjio (OT) struggled with their decisions between Alabama and Auburn (and possibly New Mexico or Iowa in Cyrus K’s case) to the point that Calloway had to go into hiding before announcing (Alabama) and Kouandjio developed a nervous tick and couldn’t sleep in the days leading up to Signing Day. I’m assuming the daily phone calls from coaches and ‘round-the-clock harassment from competing fanbases didn’t particularly help. Cut to Kouandjio, despite announcing for Auburn, not sending in his letter of intent, as he remains unsure.

Savon Huggins + Michael Eubank
Two dumb announcement strategies (Huggins to Rutgers, Eubank to ASU) — picking up a hat and either putting it on or almost putting it on before deciding to don another school’s headwear. Weak.

Rick Neuheisel
Go to UCLA. Walk around campus any time of the year. If Rick Neuheisel can’t attract (alleged) top football talent to either stay home in LA or come to LA anymore, he’s doing it wrong. Well, he’s doing it wrong.

Class Rankings
A constant focus of the coverage, even though it’s impossible to realistically compare one group to another when schools have such varying recruiting styles and needs. The silver lining here is almost everyone agreed on a mix of the three or five schools who brought in the most bountiful haul. Even CBS’s Tom Lemming finally put his long-known Notre Dame bias behind him and agreed that … oh jeez, did he really do this again?

License Plate Decisions
Todd Peat, a defensive tackle from Arizona, who by all means may be a terrific human being, chose Nebraska over Arizona State after spotting a Nebraska license plate in his home state, which he interpreted as a sign to choose the Huskers over the hometown Sun Devils. This begs the question — how did he not see Arizona plates in Tempe???

The Uncomfortable

A Different Chris Carter

Ohio State received one less letter of intent than expected after giant OL recruit Chris Carter was arrested for “sexual imposition,” allegedly lying to girls about measuring them for ROTC uniforms. Excuse me, THE “sexual imposition.”

Mitch Mustain, Amateur Pharmacist
Well, that ends that story. Mitch Mustain: Signing Day to Signing Day.

Hokeriguez
Rich Rodriguez took part in an interview of new Michigan coach Brady Hoke. I couldn’t have been the only one to hear the Curb your Enthusiasm theme in the back of my head while watching this, right?

*****
Follow me on Twitter at @Dan_Rubenstein.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community star, The Soup host, and Washington alumnus Joel McHale, who certainly must hope a redshirt year served some good with Nick Montana.

*****

• Urban Meyer is joining ESPN. I’m on board — smart people being given microphones is generally a good thing. SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) and Spencer Hall discuss.

• With Signing Day tomorrow, Rivals.com sat their writers around a proverbial roundtable to discuss various topics. Today’s thoughts on the Egyption uprising were particularly provocative.

• Rivals also looks at which incoming redshirt freshmen could make the biggest impact in 2011. If Washington QB Nick Montana is even half the QB Jake Locker was, well, they’ll be in serious trouble.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks Jadeveon Clowney is going to be very good for an SEC school. Such courage.

• Florida president Bernie Machen wrote a mini-column for SI.com about oversigning. He’s against it.

• Purdue is now banned from recruiting at a Tampa, FL high school after pulling a scholarship offer to WR A.J. King, who requires knee surgery.

• Four years ago, ESPN named their 150 top high school prospects. See how they fared in college. Or not. It’s up to you, really.

• Scout.com has a “Road to Signing Day” blog where you can follow all of your favorite recruiting stories. And some you just can’t stand.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at Texas coach Mack Brown and 2011 Texas Longhorn recruiting success. If conventional recruiting wisdom is correct, though, Texas will be hit hard in 2012, the recruiting cycle that began during the 2010 season. But probably not.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at the best recruiting classes of the decade. A one-armed Glenn Dorsey still gives me goosebumps.

• Rutgers QB Tom Savage will now be allowed to transfer within the state of Florida. I have a feeling we’ll soon be hearing Savage’s name in the same sentence as “national championship” soon — as in “Miami couldn’t have possibly won this national championship if they signed Rutgers castoff Tom Savage.”

• And finally, no more scooters for Maryland.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for a documentary about Lemmy from Motorhead, entitled, “Lemmy.” I’m particularly excited for Triple H’s insight.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-_Ol3XT6F0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Bryan Fischer from CBSSports.com to discuss all the latest recruiting news, National Signing Day, and how to balance bathroom breaks with prospect announcements.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Salma Hayek, alum of Universidad Iberoamericana, a school once again completely screwed by the BCS.

*****

• The East-West Shrine Game apparently happened. Here are some players that allegedly, even though there’s four years of tape on them, improved their stock playing in a haphazard, second-tier all star game.

• Two freshman Oklahoma starters (WR Kenny Stills, S Tony Jefferson) were arrested for misdemeanor DUI and “interference with the official process” respectively. Oh to be 19 and in Norman, OK.

• UCLA finally bought out OC Norm Chow, who was officially named to the same position by Utah. The Bruins hired former 49ers OC Mike Johnson, who can now tell budding recruits that they can be the next Alex Smith.

• Former Miami coach Randy Shannon interviewed for UCLA’s defensive coordinator position.

• USC finally made its appeal to the NCAA, which will undoubtedly result in something inconsistent with every other decision the NCAA makes.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich reviews the recruiting needs of each ACC team, which officially kicks off the two nerdiest weeks of the college football year.

• Now that that’s out of the way, here’s more nerdery with Michigan coach Brady Hoke working overtime to keep the Wolverines’ recruiting class together.

• Rutgers QB Tom Savage is transferring, but coach Greg Schiano won’t let his backup QB haunt him at a school that doesn’t play Rutgers ever. Sucka!

• Cal OC Andy Ludwig will take the same position at San Diego State. In a statement, Ludwig said, “I will call a dive, then a bubble screen, then a regular screen pass.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is yesterday’s Fat Guy TD. If I ever don’t post a Fat Guy TD, know that SolidVerbal.com has been compromised.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AegmORvD28

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Legends of the Hidden Temple, a show that obviously foretold Big Ten happenings years into the future. Spooky.

*****

—Join The Solid Verbal Bowl Pick ‘Em Here—

• LSU discovered some LSU violations and have punished themselves. Raise your hand if you thought nonsensical offensive playcalling was an actual violation. Who knew?

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson tells you all you need to know about this weekend’s bowl action — New Mexico, New Orleans, and the uSomething Humanitarian.

• There may be upwards of … wait for it … thousands of people attending the New Mexico Bowl.

• The Big Ten may be willing to take back that whole “Legends” and “Leaders” thing. And I suppose we’re all just supposed to pretend that this magical week never happened, right? Psh.

• Former Tennessee freshman All-American OT Aaron Douglas will play at Alabama in 2011. And just like that, Alabama FINALLY catches a break on the recruiting trail.

• West Virginia AD Oliver Luck likes head coach Bill Stewart but he doesn’t like like him.

• Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand, who was paralyzed in an October game, now has some feeling in his hands. This is outstanding.

• SB Nation kindly asks that you sidle up to the Week 1 Bowl Buffet.

• BCS Director Bill Hancock doesn’t see Mark Cuban ending the BCS. SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks Cuban is on the right track.

•••••

Today’s Video of the Day honors tomorrow’s New Mexico Bowl by celebrating the legacy of college football coverage in the “Land of Enchantment” by honoring Rob Stone’s classic descent into pepper hell.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvK2Y1hv9mY

Enjoy your Friday + Bowl Weekend.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vanilla Ice. I have no idea if he’s a fan of Miami football and/or Randy Shannon, but I can no longer hear anyone say “A1A” without yelling out, “Beachfront Avenue!!!” so I’m sliding him in today.

*****

• TCU is joining the Big East and it will join in all sports (after the 2011-12 academic year). It’s about time -- Coach Gary Patterson can finally tell Texas kids they’ll get to play on Thursday nights in Piscataway, NJ. Where do I sign?

• Miami fired coach Randy Shannon and won’t hire Jon Gruden. Unless they will, which they almost certainly will not.

• Michigan AD Dave Brandon is yet to evaluate coach Rich Rodriguez’s performance, but will do so in about a month. Most important Insight Bowl ever?

• The newest BCS standings are out. Northern Illinois is ranked higher than Florida, Texas, USC, and Georgia.

• Florida DL coach and former Iowa State head coach Dan McCarney is the new head coach at North Texas. Always happy for a “Dan” getting hired.

• You know how Ty and have said that Nebraska‘s fanbase was probably the nicest, most respectful fan base in college football? Well, they’re no longer making the rest of us look bad anymore — I present to you … Nebraska psychopaths!!

• The American Football Coaches Association has an All-American team. I bet they also have delicious pot lucks, go-kart races, and crazy slumber parties with scary stories. Or I’m just imagining that. But yeah right, it’s pretty much true.

• Cal DL coach Tosh Lupoi was suspended for instructing a player to fake an injury against Oregon. Because position coaches going rogue and instituting an individual position game plan without consulting anyone else sounds complete plausible. Mr. Lupoi, here comes the bus, we’re just going to give you a light shove and be on our way.

• Indiana coach Bill Lynch was fired and is now just plain ol’ citizen Bill Lynch.

• Vanderbilt coach Robbie Caldwell will step aside now that his interim year has concluded. That sound you’re hearing is some very excited (or terrified) turkeys.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will fix the Gators by recruiting “tough” players. He then added, “What? Coach Addazio has a lot of heavy furniture that’s not just going to move itself out of the building.”

• USC coach Lane Kiffin explains how USC did what Tulsa couldn’t — lose to Notre Dame.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some especially powerful power rankings and particularly project-y bowl projections. Whatever, you try thinking of two different adjectives to use in a sentence.

• Oklahoma State CB Brodrick Brown played a little game against Oklahoma called “just the tip.” Oh wait, I see what I did there.

• Florida DB Dee Finley has some constructive criticism for Gator fans. And by “constructive,” I mean “thoroughly misspelled demands of mass suicide.”

• Oregon State DT Stephen Paea has power running through his veins. Oh and lots and lots of cortisone.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at new money in his newest College Football Overtime. ***Spoiler*** Texas is old money.

• The Wiz has the snapshots of the week. A disappointed fan in full-costume is featured, which is obviously the best kind of disappointed fan.

• An Auburn fan, celebrating the Tigers’ Iron Bowl win, tackled a snowman, and then did a dainty little celebration. I’m as surprised as you are. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, well, I really have no idea what is or what happens, but it’s right below this sentence.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC60iSTUmRE

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Billings, MT Mayor Tom Hanel. I needlessly insulted his fine town (below) and am thus making it up to him and his town here. Tom is the one with the mustache.

*****

• Ohio State president E. Gordon Gee doesn’t like Boise State or TCU and doesn’t think there should ever be a system to put them on equal footing, mostly because he thinks their schedules are undeserving. And as SI.com’s Andy Staples notes, Ohio State should be congratulated on their 59th ranked schedule, a whopping NINE spots ahead of Boise’s 68th.

• Former Ohio State LB Chris Spielman is shocked at how bad Michigan’s defense truly is, but likes QB Denard Robinson a lot. I think the combination of these two thoughts works out to a compliment.

• Colorado apparently thinks LSU Coach Les Miles is worth pursuing. Kind of sad when the fake long-shot rumor you’re floating to make yourself sound important involves Les Miles. I take that back — there’s nothing “kind of” about it.

• Nebraska DC Carl Pelini is sorry now, too.

• Who argues and makes a bigger spectacle of himself — Bob or Mike Stoops? The Wall Street Journal took the time to find out. It’s pretty close, but Mike’s facial-redness factor has really taken him to new heights.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell us what to watch and make some predictions. Here’s a guarantee: I predict there will be massive intestinally-driven DVR pausing across the country on Friday. Take that as you will.

• Here is this week’s regional ESPN/ABC map, so you can see what games are where. Residents of Billings, Montana — screwed again. The first time of course was simply having to be in BIllings, Montana. Actually, I take that back, it’s probably awesome in Montana. Now I feel bad. Here’s looking at you, Billings!

• GOOD NEWS: Eric LeGrand, the paralyzed Rutgers player, is breathing on his own and is not as paralyzed as he previously had been. Great things.

This news is essentially the opposite of any headline involving E. Gordon Gee.

• Clemson RB Andre Ellington is a game-time decision against South Carolina.

• Former Oregon coach and current ESPN broadcaster Mike Bellotti talks punt-blocking. PASSION!

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno will be back next year. Hey, Lavar Arrington isn’t going to coach himself.

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray says he’s pain-free (knee, sternum) and will be good to go against Georgia Tech Saturday night. The game plan remains unchanged — throw it up to #8.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart interviews TCU coach Gary Patterson. Patterson gives his Fort Worth food and bar recommendations. Ok, he doesn’t, but we need them, Verballers. Where you at?

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley plays in a completely fair and just way. Just ask his teammates.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter, fresh off his 4th strike suspension, should be reinstated for the Notre Dame game. Whew.

• USC QB Matt Barkley hasn’t been practicing, but hopes to play against Notre Dame. He’s already started locking onto his receivers a few days ahead of kickoff, so things seem promising.

• The New York Times is all up in Cecil Newton’s church business grill.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is SNL’s Jay Pharoah (not Natalie Portman) on Letterman. I think I’ve already posted a video of him, but good impressions are really hard to do and he’s going STRONG with Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, and President Obama.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQ4CoxiGrY

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Robert Redford, former Colorado student and bartender at The Sink in Boulder. He’s also ready for new football leadership for the Buffs and I just made that up.

*****

• Florida coach Urban Meyer Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is reporting that Auburn QB Cam Newton had “three different instances of academic cheating” during his time at Florida. I put quotes around Evans’s words, because I didn’t write them. That would be cheating. Ahem.

It’s ok, though, Auburn fans have Newton’s back. And Mark Schlabach‘s front. And Pedro Gomez‘s brief torso. They’re angry.

• After officially being told of the school’s coaching change, Colorado coach Dan Hawkins is now private citizen Dan Hawkins. Though the story is in Boulder, Kansas is THE current team that’s so mind-blowingly bad that a coach can be fired for losing to you. Rock Chalk, indeed.

Oh, and Dan Hawkins was all like “Peace out, MF’ers!”

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez is expected to start against Kansas this weekend. His ankle is improved and he should have a very productive quarter.

Also, Nebraska‘s using the same sandwich board technique Oregon and Oklahoma State use to send in plays.

• Cincinnati QB Zach Collaros is also expected to start at West Virginia. Good news for Bearcats fans, bad news for Big East Chas/Chazz-out fans.

• Wisconsin RB John Clay is questionable against Indiana due to a knee injury. Damn, looks like some other big dude will have to carry the ball 27 times for 141 yards. Gosh.

• Texas coach Mack Brown is not ready to give up on QB Garrett Gilbert. Cute.

• EDSBS has this week’s “Best in Class.” Just once I’d like this to be about Donald Trump ranking college football stories in terms of classiness. “Colorado blowing that lead? That’s definitely not claaaaaaaaaaaassssy.”

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers rewind and fast forward, and then accidentally DVR a rerun of The Gilmore Girls, watch anyway, and come to realize it’s not that bad at all.

• Washington AD Scott Woodward “clarifies” his “remarks” about Oregon and issues a non-apology. Seems like he did a lot of soul-searching and a fair amount of pants-pooping before deciding to come forward with an “I’m sorry you were offended”-type statement.

• I enjoy first-time LSU visitor stories. SB Nation’s Andrew Sharp did a much better job with his than I did with mine.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney with this week’s Heisman Watch. What do you guys think of him having LSU’s Drake Nevis at #1? Just kidding it’s the standard QB/RB/WR, the only players that REALLY matter.

• SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) lurves him some Texas in the newest “This Week in Schadenfraude.” It features crying and swearing, etc. Good times.

• Noted Mexican cuisine expert Rick Bayless offers up his recipe for bacon guacamole. This has nothing to do with college football, but this week’s games seem mostly anti-climactic and guacamole is, as always, climactic.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of newly-minted TBS host Conan O’Brien. In India.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIZCtDJtFPw

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Willie Nelson, former Baylor student. Does anybody dislike Willie Nelson? He may secretly be one of the most universally-liked people in America. And now his college football team is playing well. Actually, I don’t know if he follows football, but I like to think he does. Because I just flat out like the guy.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Utah’s recent success. I got kind of sick of reading about all the “Solid Verbal Bump” stuff with Whittingham, but other than that, it’s a good read.

• MGoBlog’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) reacts to the news that Michigan may escape the NCAA’s wrath. The next step is now escaping the wrath of average Big 10 offensive lines. One step at a time.

• South Florida beat Rutgers last night. And now you know.

• This week’s Baylor/Oklahoma State tilt means something for the first time in a long time. “Honest, mister!” says ESPN’s David Ubben.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell you what to watch and make Saturday predictions. I’ll tell you what not to watch, predict something. and I’ll do it all in one sentence. SNL will be painfully unfunny.

• Miami RB Damien Berry won’t play against Maryland because he’s “banged up.” That sentence took longer than usual to type, as even my fingers have sense how boring the ACC has become.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is just kickin’ it with Mike Leach in Key West. Seems fun and possibly a bit terrifying.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) writes about TCU/Utah and the BCS.

• Alabama WR Julio Jones faces LSU CB Patrick Peterson on Saturday. And they’ll probably just neutralize each other during a 13-11 game. Yay.

• After missing a few weeks with a knee injury, Arizona QB Nick Foles will start for the Wildcats against Stanford on Saturday. His hair remains day to day.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Ellen DeGeneres scaring people. This falls under the never-not-funny-unless-it-happens-to-you category. We need to get Ty famous and on Ellen’s show.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by proud Minnesota resident, Prince. There’s no indication that he pays any attention to the Golden Gophers and their recent dismissal of Tim Brewster, but perhaps the Gophers can turn their disappointing season around by purifying themselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

*****

• Rutgers defensive tackle Eric LaGrand was paralyzed during the Scarlet Knights’ game against Rutgers. It’s an unimaginable horror, so if you’re so inclined, do send him your well wishes.

• Minnesota coach Tim Brewster was relieved of his duties (heh, duties) after the Gophers’ loss to Purdue. But not before receiving another extensions. Gopher up!

• Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett suffered a concussion during Saturday’s loss to Auburn. Even though his “symptoms are improving,” Arkansas fans are still using the Freedom of Information Act to get the doctor’s license plate number and Facebook password. Just because.

• BCS standings are out. Unless you host a terrible sports radio show and need to fill 4-5 hours, this probably doesn’t affect your life.

Ok, it affects Dr. Jerry Palm’s life and we like Dr. Jerry Palm.

• ABC’s Brent Musberger kinda/sorta mentioned Spencer Hall’s blog on the air. We of course would welcome “The Verbally Solid” casually referenced at any point, but only on BYU-TV — wouldn’t want our site flooded or anything.

• A Texas fan documented his trip to Lincoln, NE for the Nebraska game, but only used MS Paint to do so. I love this so much.

Warning: There are cartoon penises.

Related: Taylor Martinez is still the starter at Nebraska, at least for this week.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers take a look at the conference races and issue their weekly power rankings. Once done with those, the group stepped aside and let Big 12 specialist David Ubben take the stage and rock an acoustic Earth, Wind, and Fire cover. Groove it.

• ESPN has some bowl projections. Should both teams win enough, I’m excited to see how Alabama/TCU gets avoided.

• Cal fan and Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz wasn’t too optimistic before Saturday’s USC game. See, you can never let white guy dreads fool you, some of those guys pay attention to, you know, stuff.

• The new UGa loves some giant bags of ice.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel chimes in with his College Football Overtime.

Solid Verbal Behind the Scenes: Stew was a welcome guest into the world of Saturday’s Verbacon celebration in Lincoln. He enthusiastically chatted up Husker fans with us, dropping some knowledge bombs, and withstood a personal space assault from large, well-meaning Husker fan who couldn’t recommend Armen Katayen’s book enough.

Here are some SI.com pictures of Saturday’s action.

• Kentucky Everything Randall Cobb isn’t a fan of the fans.

• A referee during the Florida/Mississippi State game ruled a field goal good and then didn’t. That about covers it.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a first person view of what it’s like to parachute into Michigan Stadium. This is probably cool if you enjoy heights. In my case, let’s just say my feet are sweatier than they were before I started watching this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnJX2FiW-ik

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan discuss Cincy’s chances of repeating, Pitt’s monster receiver, West Virginia’s matchup with LSU, and the right way to say “Louisville.”

Ty and Dan recap all the action on National Signing Day, examining winners, losers and bizarre names that slipped through the cracks.

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Website: www.solidverbal.com

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Ty and Dan talk with David Fox from Rivals.com about the Big East’s national profile, the impact of Greg Paulus on Syracuse’s football team, the trajectory of the West Virginia program, and the impact fantasy players in the conference. Plus, multiple voice messages and a MONSTER mailbag to help kill your Friday in celebration of the Solid Verbal being spotlighted by iTunes! (Episode 53)

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan recap their college fantasy football draft and discuss how it differs from more conventional fantasy leagues.  Plus, SI.com’s Stewart Mandel stops by to chat about the Coaches’ Poll, USC’s potential QB controversy, and which coach he’d pick to give a best man’s speech.  And, of course, your wacky e-mail messages.  (Episode #51)

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com