Ty and Dan break down the impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, Michigan’s triumph over Ohio State, the Heisman credentials of Montee Ball, UCLA’s march to Pac-12 South glory, and all the other action from Rivalry Week.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Methodist Ladies College attendee Isla Fisher. She was also perdy on Bored to Death this week.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy thinks Penn State could have a hard time finding an enthusiastic bowl invite.

• CBS’s Bruce Feldman ranks the country’s top ten freshmen.

• Urban Meyer wants no part of the Arizona job.

• Arkansas WR/PR Joe Adams is eternally trolling on special teams.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller takes a closer look at new Washington State QB Connor Halliday.

• Butch Davis had no idea that former assistant John Blake was chummy with an agent. Mmhmm.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has power rankings in which he compares his top 25 teams to early MTV videos. It’s just too bad he couldn’t squeeze Texas in for the RATT track. Oh well.

• A little late (on my part), but The Wiz has Week 11 snapshots.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday has a Best of Times/Worst of Times update. Guess where Maryland ended up?

• Yahoo!!!!!! also has a Week 12 viewer’s guide. Convenient.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the reel of an acrobatic stuntman. Conservatively, I don’t think I could execute any more than 30% of what he does here.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQgFxDSqft4

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan recap the so-called “Game of the Century” between LSU and Alabama and wonder whether other television options might’ve been a better choice. Plus, thoughts on the other Week 10 action and more listener voice messages.

Ty and Dan debate the true definition of “Clemsoning,” break down the laser arm of Andrew Luck, and discuss all the Week 9 action.

Ty and Dan rehash college football’s eighth week and discuss Kirk Cousins’ Hail Mary, James Franklin’s casual dress Saturday, Clemson’s chances of going unbeaten, and Nick Foles… in a winning effort!

Ty and Dan talk with Spencer Hall about Will Muschamp’s early marks, LSU-Alabama, the Big Ten, “We” Bombs, and a college football version of The Truman Show.  Plus, picks for all the big action during Week Eight.

Whenever it is that I get my own TV network, ordering episodes of Playwatch, a show that exclusively features college football coaches running in slow motion for uncomfortable periods of time, will be job one. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Ty and Dan welcome Bruce Feldman back to the show to discuss Clemson’s ceiling, the looming LSU-Alabama showdown, Urban Meyer-to-Penn State rumors, the misunderstood Mike Gundy, and a host of other hot topics in college football.  Plus, your e-mails and voice messages, and a Week 7 Preview.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Ty and Dan make their Week 6 Picks, talk about Missouri’s potential move to the SEC, discuss Michigan’s defense, and debate whether Clemson is 2010 Auburn in disguise.

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Ty Hildenbrandt and Dan Rubenstein take a closer look at impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, poke fun at Texas A&M’s pass defense, and devise a diabolical scheme to fix South Carolina’s quarterback problem. Plus, another batch of listener Reverbs and another tale of Nick Foles’ performance… in a losing effort, of course.

Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan talk about Texas A&M’s move to the SEC, Mark Richt’s hot seat, poor sportsmanship, and all the important action ahead in the second week of the season.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Christine Taylor, Allentown PA native. She’s also, by my count, the only person to ever appear in “Hey Dude,” “Zoolander,” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Amazing.

*****

• Texas A&M is going to the SEC, just as long as the Big 12 doesn’t get too lawsuit-happy (which they probably are).

• The HATERZ still doubt Boise State, says CBS’s Dennis Dodd.

• Tommy Rees is officially your new starting Notre Dame QB.

• Starting Oklahoma State S Johnny Thomas is ineligible for the 2011 season.

• Four suspended Ohio State players are back. FINALLY.

• Florida didn’t show much against Florida Atlantic. Well, yeah.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff says Mississippi State can’t get too excited about Auburn’s run D. Ok, it can get a little excited.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has a B1G stock report. He’s quite impressed by what Penn State did against Indiana State. Somebody has to be.

• Texas has young RBs who may or may not get stonewalled by older men on Saturday vs BYU.

• The Marshall Lobbestael era (six or so weeks worth) begins (again) for Washington State. Woo.

• Georgia‘s probably in on the spread offense.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples compares college football teams to TV shows. Or something, I’m lost.

• The Wiz has the best screengrabs of the week. This is quietly one of my favorite things about college football every year.

• USC RB Marc Tyler is back and he now has a shiny new merit badge for silence.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter and family are probably unhappy with Lane Kiffin.

• Oklahoma RB Jonathan MIller is done with Norman. Done.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Louis CK talking about George Carlin. Kind of perfect.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R37zkizucPU

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan lick their wounds after Notre Dame and Oregon suffer losses, but power through a full hour and recap all the significant Week One action.

Ty and Dan kick off their fourth season as hosts of The Solid Verbal by reviewing the news of the week, reading a handful of Verballer messages, and previewing the biggest games of 2011′s opening weekend.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Minka Kelly. Gentlemen, start your engines.

*****

• Arrest warrants for second degree battery (felony) have been issued for QB Jordan Jefferson and LB Josh Johns. Not good.

• Eight Miami players are currently ineligible, including QB Jacory Harris. Time to grease some NCAA wheels, Hurricane boosters.

• LSU WR Russell Shepard has been suspended indefinitely for a “compliance” issue surrounding the NCAA‘s investigation of Will Lyles.

• SMU says it’s ready for some Big 12 football. Cute.

• Pac-12 players talk about ASU LB Vontaze Burfict. They’re all wisely very careful with their words.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson profiles the San Diego State backfield.

• Chip Kelly and Les Miles filmed (separate) ESPN Gameday commercials. I give the acting nod to Kelly here.

• Oregon and Boise State have new NIke Pro Combat uniforms. And they’re weird and great.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel falls in love with five unranked teams.

• Another Arizona defender is out for the year, this time it’s CB Jonathan McKnight. Brutal.

• JoePa is a Skyping machine. I’m told the kids LOVE the Skype.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is OK Go covering the Muppets theme song.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiMZa8flyYY

Enjoy your Friday. (And one more Saturday without football)

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the number one Miami fan (and graduate) in national TV news, Chuck Todd. I’ll bet he’s working for the weekend.

*****

• The death penalty has not been broached by the NCAA re: Miami.

• There is no NCAA realignment summit, according to NCAA president Mark Emmert. That’s what they want you to think.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris will miss some time (and possibly BC‘s opener) after undergoing knee surgery. This hits close to home — we feel what Spaziani feels.

• Miami coach Al Golden wanted a little heads up, that’s all.

• LSU coach Les Miles now says WR Russell Shepard could possibly sit out the Oregon game after all while his compliance issue gets sorted out. Oops.

• Florida released a statement indicating that their players mentioned in the Yahoo! Miami report are cleared to play. Whew.

• Same goes for Kansas State’s Brown brothers, they of paper and high school fame.

• ESPN’s Chris Low asks Auburn QB questions. I’d answer, but my lawyer has advised me against any such action.

• Wisconsin AD and former coach Barry Alvarez (and son) lost over a million dollars to the Ponzi scheme of former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro.

• Former Miami AD Paul Dee wanted the guillotine dropped on USC. He has some ‘splaining to do.

• I apparently went to the wrong UCLA practice.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews the “invisible” USC Trojans.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder has a Pac-12 preview.

• Central Florida has mail!

• Penn State still needs a quarterback.

• Nebraska CB Alfonzo Dennard has a bum leg. Not an actual bum’s leg, but rather just an injury. I’m positive you needed that clarification.

• TCU QB Casey Pachall (“Pa-ha” is what I’m told) has a bum shoulder. This one ACTUALLY IS a bum’s shoulder.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy dancing with a bottle opener in front of a cheetah mural. A senior citizen makes a cameo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkdIVJ3Nngo

Enjoy your Thursday. Support support support. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Stewart Mandel from SI.com about expectations for Ohio State, Wisconsin’s unfamiliar role as favorite, Penn State’s quarterback questions, the addition of Nebraska, and other Big Ten topics.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by SUNY-Buffalo graduate and film mogul Harvey Weinstein. A little birdie told me that The Weinstein Company is interested in optioning The Solid Verbal story. That little birdie? Me.

*****

• The NCAA isn’t done with Ohio State. Or are they? No, they’re not.

• Your monthly Texas A&M-to-the-SEC rumor (this time with a double shot of Governor Rick Perry) is now ready for you. Careful, it’s hot.

• Boise State AD Gene Bleymaier is no more in the Treasure Valley. Ok, he’ll still probably be in the area, but somebody new will be occupying his office.

• Missouri DT Sheldon Richardson has finally been cleared to practice for the Tigers, though he may still go to USC. Or not. Or so.

• Cincinnati AD Mike Thomas will accept the same position at Illinois. Things just got a whole lot more orange.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall previewed every SEC game, I’m assuming because he hates sanity.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has Big East practice reports. Most importantly, cursing and Tweeting is out at Pitt.

• ESPN checks in with second-year coaches.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno returned to practice with his arm in a sling and his body in a golf cart.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Boise State. Spoiler: The numbers love ‘em.

• South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier doesn’t want his players swearing. He’s the only one allowed.

• Is Cal‘s offense too hard for young players? Sure, that must be it, you all are just too dumb to understand.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a mailbag AND a Dodge Stratus.

• College football and MS Paint (penises) will never, ever get old.

• Dr Saturday‘s SEC Week keeps on keeping on.

• Georgia Tech OT Phil Smith has been suspended for two games for rule breakage.

• Former Nebraska RB Ahman Green will be roaming sidelines for the Big Ten Network this fall. My only connection to this is that I once accidentally walked in on two people (neither of which were Ahman Green) attempting to make babies in the basement of a building he lived in in Omaha. This has nothing to do with anything.

• 2012 Auburn QB commit Zeke Pike is already thrilled to prod Alabama fans on Twitter. This will only end in mutual respect and peaceful thoughts.

• Rivals previews Nebraska, without any of the Ahman Green insight I provided above. Lame.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Paul Rudd’s marketing genius.

Enjoy your Thursday. Enjoy your style.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college person Marisa Miller, who appears on Camera Guy Dave’s show, The Daily Habit. He’s now Producer Dave. Take pity on him.

*****

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno suffered shoulder and hip injuries after being run over during practice yesterday. Not cool, WR just doing his job like he’s supposed to, not cool.

• SI.com dares to go inside the private world of Urban Meyer. It appears there are more smiles (and mustaches) there than in the Urban Meyer public world.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has UCLA practice notes. Mine will be coming out here shortly. His are far more informative.

• Texas S Christian Scott was arrested for misdemeanor assault. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. (etc)

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Texas and comes to the conclusion that he has no idea what to think. Perfect.

• Upcoming guest and ESPN Big 12 blogger David Ubben ranks conference LBs.

• He then breaks down Big 12 QB competition, which isn’t the same now that Kansas’s Kale Pick is now a WR. RIP Most Unfortunate Last Name for a QB.

• The Pac-12 only has one QB battle (UCLA). “Battle” may be too strong a word for anything happening in Westwood right now.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff does the same in the SEC. DRAMA.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel and Andy Staples have ten reasons to be excited about college football. Number 11? Staples/Mandel collabo column. Duh.

• ESPN has interviews with conference commissioners. They’re as exciting as you think they are.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s Rob Moseley has an Oregon practice update.

• Georgia LB Jarvis Jones has been cleared by the NCAA.

• It’s SEC Week in DrSaturdayville. Read, absorb, learn.

• Nebraska has a WR/QB. I’m officially calling the position a “Qwibber” (QWBR).

• Rivals previews the Pokes. Yee-haw.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is world record parallel parking. Yes, that exists.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeFNunnYiKY

Enjoy your Tuesday. Fashion!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Penn State graduate (and Notre Dame fan) Ty Hildenbrandt. With this morning’s Michael Floyd news, today is his Independence Day.

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd has been officially reinstated by Brian Kelly. I’ll bet he learned his lesson.

• Miami OT Seantrel Henderson may miss the 2011 season (or a large chunk thereof) after he undergoes back surgery next week. We’re gonna need a bigger table.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy has a post-Big East media day profile of West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen. Only read this if you want to know more about Mike Leach’s sweat pants.

• Virginia Tech OT Blake DeChristopher will miss the next 4-6 weeks with a wonky boob. And that’s how you do a painful injury a complete disservice.

• EDSBS has the least watchable teams in recent CFB history. I’m still not over his Paul Wulff descriptions.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly makes with the Penn State previewing.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has quick things-to-know on Pac-12 teams.

• The Big East may expand again. I learned this from looking into Ivan Maisel‘s steely eyes.

• Texas and Oklahoma fans brought knives to a knife fight (at Applebee’s). Luckily, the magical phrase, “ruptured scrotum” is nowhere to be found here.

• Rivals ranks receiving corps. They really dropped the ball with Arkansasat #1. <-- Comedy.

• SI.com’s Ben Glicksman says Penn State needs somebody to throw the ball to their own team. Crazy, I know.

• Listen to a fun interview with Mike Leach. Psh, like any of them aren’t.

• Memphis is so edgy.

• Central Michigan is so maroon.

• Continue reading Dr Saturday’s Pac-12 week. Become smarter. Rinse repeat.

• Crap, the Solid Verbal preseason poster was going to look EXACTLY like Florida’s. Back to the drawing board.

• Rivals previews South Carolina. This is your last chance to read this.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a mariachi band serenading a beluga whale. Because it is, that’s why.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS_6-IwMPjM

Enjoy your Wednesday. Shop, don’t drop.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the always-dreamy Harry Hamlin, Yale graduate. Excuse me, after last night, it’s Big Dog, Yale graduate (NSFW language).

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks with paralyzed Rutgers player Eric LeGrand about kickoffs.

• Nebraska QB signee Bubba Starling is still figuring out if he wants to take $7.5 million from the Kansas City Royals. Good one!

• Syracuse WR Marcus Sales is quite serious about the drugs that may or may not belong to him in his vehicle. Felony drug charges now exist for Sales.

• Illinois LB Ashante Williams has been suspended indefinitely. So So Indef.

• You were all probably wondering if Terrelle Pryor‘s high school mentor was cleared three years ago of improper booster behavior, right?. Good news for all.

• Fox Sports Houston talks the 2011 schedule of… Houston. I know, right?

• Need a little Holgorsen to get your August started? Of course you do.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Georgia, a team with numbers in all of the right places (except the pesky W-L columns).

• UCF coach George O’Leary just wants to be liked. By everyone.

• More B1G team previews and conference forecasting are now available (FREE) as Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday concludes B1G Week.

• Penn State QB Paul Jones (former 5*) will miss 2011 with academic issues.

• USC is the latest Rivals team preview. Again, these Rivals previews would be a good place to start learning about more than just the QB’s name when you talk about a team (ahem, anonymous TV analysts).

• Michigan DC Greg Mattison is getting bizzay in Ann Arbor. I’m so in touch.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an older lady being thrown about and terrified in Corvette. Always funny.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cTR9Ak6X9U

Enjoy your Monday. Support the Verbal.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Bryan Cranston, LA Valley College attendee and star of Breaking Bad, which I’m about to start (and probably be insufferable about).

*****

• ESPN’s Pat Forde asks: “Why can’t I write a column about pay-for-play?”

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy goes to Provo and profiles BYU and their independence. His hair appears to be short enough to be welcomed by the locals.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday projects CUSA, which is a lot easier to write than “Conference USA.” Consider that your introduction to “CUSA.”

• Miami coach Al Golden is getting a lot of “yes” on the recruiting trail.

• West Virginia apparently frowns on the whole armed robbery thing. Prudes.

• ESPN continues to look ahead to impact games, including ones in early December. I imagine these previews will hold up perfectly.

• “Michigan AD Dave Brandon Talks Branding.” OF COURSE HE DOES IT’S IN HIS NAME.

• ESPN previews Pac-12 DEs. It all comes down to the good, the bad, and the Arizona.

• Silas Redd is a running back for Penn State. That’s what I learned.

• The Big East has special teams. That have special teams.

• Who’re the best corners in the B1G? I don’t know, but if you take away that apostrophe in the first word of the question, it becomes funnier and less sensical.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews a Shaky-less Utah. Just isn’t the same anymore.

• Ohio State fans definitely aren’t crazy.

• Rivals previews Iowa. Y’heard it hear first: this is QB James Van Der Beek‘s time.

• South Carolina WR Bryce Sherman takes to the Twitter to announce that he’s GONE. Well, he’s staying, but gone from the team. Something like that.

• Oklahoma State will unveil new uniforms in a couple weeks that will include any number of combinations. Where have I heard this story before?

• South Carolina has new uniforms. I think.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Deadspin editor AJ Daulerio trying to replicate Dock Ellis’s acid-fueled no hitter. It’s a bit NSFW.

Enjoy your Wednesday. The store!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Schwartz, Union College (Schenectady!) graduate. He was good doing shorts for ESPN and is now great occasionally on Parks and Rec. Also, his hair is eerily similar to mine.

*****

• Terrelle Pryor pulled a Jason Giambi and apologized for nothing in particular. Sports!

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy looks at how the tornadoes that hit Alabama brought a little bit of humanity to the Iron Bowl. Just a little.

• Pitt and Penn St will start playing each other again in five years. By that time, Ty and I will either be THE voices of college football or we’ll be long gone with the money we’ve slowly laundered from everyone that has ever listened to the show.

• Texas lost WR Greg Timmons to a nasty case of no longer wanting to play for Texas.

• Free agent QB Russell Wilson should be deciding on a 2011 destination soon. You know, for grad school.

• The CBS Sports Network, which will forever be a triple digit channel, has hired Rich Rodriguez to be a full time analyst.

• Football Study Hall aims at Ole Miss. And Dairy Queen. Just read it.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich looks at Week 3 of the ACC slate. My calendar also says today is June 15, if you’re curious.

• SEC running backs are ranked. No joke to be had here, the conference is filthy is backs.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg chats with Michigan St coach Mark Dantonio.

• New West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen went skydiving yesterday. And almost exploded.

• Oh, you thought The Wiz was done rolling out the financial reports from the bowl games. Too silly.

• Rivals’s's’s's’s Tom Dienhart looks at the biggest scheme changes of the offseason.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features two seals being released into the wild. And wouldn’t you know it, right after they were released, things got super romantic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgJbqyQN164

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy stuff!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former New York School of Visual Arts right tackle Fred Armisen. He also gave a commencement speech.

*****

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris took a leisurely drive (in a dubiously rented car with a suspended license) somewhere in the 118 mph range and state police apparently frowned upon it. Whatever.

• Ohio State introduced new (interim) head coach Luke Fickell. He was asked fair questions and gave back nothing but cliches. Have fun, Columbus media.

• Former Ohio St QB Terrelle Pryor signed yesterday with Drew Rosenhaus and they’ll address the media at 2 PM ET. It promises to be definitely-miss TV.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall plays indoor football with an actual semi-pro team. His spleen is still MIA.

• An excerpt from the 2010-2011 College Basketball Prospectus entitled “The Trouble with Amateurism.” Go get yer learnin’ on. Seriously.

• ESPN’s Chris Low ranks SEC QBs. It’s a two and a half men situation. (The half is Relf, not Jefferson, by the way)

• Nebraska AD Tom Osborne never really liked the Big 12. Rapscallion.

• Penn St QB Robert Bolden is still (as of now) enrolled at Penn St. So there you go.

• Football Study Hall thinks Notre Dame has a chance to go HAM on their schedule. Also, I’m using the term “HAM” as often as possible since learning its meaning.

• Giant sports agency IMG is getting in on the 7-on-7 game. Of course.

• Hawaii REALLY didn’t want to honor a scholarship offer.

• Florida Atlantic safety Cortez Ash was arrested for stealing 400 pounds of copper, or around $1,200 dollars worth. They were THIS close to running the most kickass counterfeit penny ring in all of Indian River County. Damn.

• The NCAA is inviting 50 school presidents to a retreat. Emmert’s taking care of the mallows.

• Rivals has position-specific rankings for the recruiting class of 2012.

• NC State QB Mike Glennon is profiled. He’s tall.

• Florida St kicker Dustin Hopkins takes on a Florida St women’s soccer player in a kicking challenge. An uncomfortable microphone and two superfluous minutes are involved.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Conan’s commencement speech to the Dartmouth class of 2011. Finally, Ivy League kids catch a break.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmDYXaaT9sA

Enjoy your Tuesday. Buy things at our store.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college attendee Matthew Broderick, who has the distinct honor of now being 25 years removed from his best work AND being married to Sarah Jessica Parker. I just made myself sad for no reason.

*****

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart officially resigned, making OC/brief coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen the new Mountaineer head coach.

• Did Jim Tressel and Ohio State receive a warning email about alleged Buckeye memorabilia seller Dennis Talbott in 2007? Some say probably.

• Wisconsin WR Nick Toon commented on possible QB transfer Russell Wilson. NOT COOL (if you care about dumb secondary NCAA violations).

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik got PAID. Oversized leather jackets for everyone!

• SI.com’s Andy Staples suggests that perhaps West Virginia didn’t handle the whole “coach-in-waiting” thing properly. How dare he.

• Don’t pretend like LSUFreek wasn’t ready for Stewart/Holgo ’11.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has a roundup of the weekend’s non-AQ excitement. Summary: Houston QB Case Keenum‘s got a wife, Wyoming‘s got a HS kid starting at QB, etc.

• Nebraska QB transfer Cody Green is looking at Big 12 schools. You don’t just pass up a chance to sometimes play on regional Fox Sports networks, you guys.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich is totally down with Virginia Tech’s 2011 defense. Way out on a limb there, Heather.

• Did Ohio State players get free golf? I’ll say………… “yes.”

• Penn St coach Joe Paterno uses an iMac bigger than Joe Paterno to skype with recruits. COMETOPENNSTATE (signs off accidentally).

• Notre Dame and Michigan will play under the lights in Michigan Stadium wearing retro uniforms. Michigan wins the thread war.

• Former Ohio St coach Jim Tressel says “Thanks but no thanks” to the mandatory coaching seminar he would’ve had to attend if he were still coaching.

• Florida St coach Jimbo Fisher really wants to do this commercial. Really, he does. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a performance from last night’s Tony Awards from “The Book of Mormon,” the musical written by the South Park guys, which i kind of need to see immediately.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tggtPHDmrR8

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alum Christine Lakin, who played on Al on ABC’s Step by Step. Wanna feel old? She’s 32 (but still has it!). (ahem, Christine: solidverbal@gmail.com)

*****

• The lawyer of Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor questions 90% of the SI story. I’m feeling even better about the article already.

• Similarly, lawsuits are being threatened over SI’s investigative piece. I have a feeling the follow up to this story will include the phrase, “never materialized.”

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen is now clear on the expectations the school and the state have no the whole “not getting tossed out of casinos” thing.

• Former Notre Dame and current Montana QB Nate Montana (get it?!?!) was arrested for suspected DUI. Not cool.

• Penn State OC Jay Paterno says athletes are already getting paid dozens of dollars an hour for the work they put in athletically. Of course, his math is all poorly constructed and he leaves out revenue figures for schools. Other than that, bang-up job, sir.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples argues that, while Steve Spurrier‘s plan won’t happen, it’s an important step towards a payment discussion.

• Maryland and Connecticut each had offensive footprints last season. Football Study Hall takes you inside the magic.

• Tim Tebow was on The Daily Show. Bloomin’ Onions were implied.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson answers some basic TCU/Big East questions. It’s all she can do to not say TCU is going to swallow up USF.

• Former Georgia RB Washaun Ealey has transferred to Jacksonville State. Gentlemen, get your moving violation ticket pads rrrreeeaadddyyyy!!!

• Will Ohio State‘s recruits hang around? Fox Sports’s Zac (no K, no H) Johnson further pontificates.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) tries to crack the SEC Lion King Twitter code. I’m so lost.

• Some quick thoughts on noisemakers on the SEC by EDSBS fanposter “RaginCajunRebel.” Remember to get sucked into the amazing comment vortex.

• Former Michigan QB Tate Forcier visited San Jose State. Come for the football, stay for the obscene burritos.

• Mel Kiper is totally down with high school 7on7 tournaments. Just so you know.

• Hot/Cold Yes/No UCF QB recruit DeMarcus Smith has chosen to stick with UCF. This is actually news.

• The purple and gray field at Central Arkansas is coming along just fine, thank you.

• Arizona needs snitches ASAP.

*****

Today’ s Video of the Day is Orson Welles sleepwalking through a commercial shoot. I could watch this forever and ever.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFevH5vP32s

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan fly solo and discuss the ongoing Ohio State scandal, Phil Steele’s preseason All-American team, the SEC meetings, NCAA ’12, Florida State’s chances of a title, 5k races, and desolate western Pennsylvania.

Today’s college town restaurant/bar recommendations takes us to a remote Pennsylvania oasis on Interstate 80, known to all as Penn State University, and to a much smaller subset as Ty Hildenbrandt’s alma mater. Indeed, State College was my home for four of the best years of my life, and along the way, I learned a thing or two about the local flavor.  Verballer Ryan will pinch hit with a few suggestions as well.

The Penn State Creamery

How cool is it that Penn State actually has its own on-campus creamery?  During my days as a student, the Creamery was located in an older building; now, it has its own state of the art structure about a block or so closer to Beaver Stadium.  In the words of Verballer Ryan: “The best ice cream in the world.  This is not up for debate. Favorite flavors depend on your taste, of course, but ‘Alumni Swirl’ (vanilla ice cream with swiss mocha chips & blueberry swirl), ‘Happy Happy Joy Joy’ (coconut ice cream with roasted almonds and chocolate chips) and ‘Death by Chocolate’ (chocolate ice cream with chocolate flakes, fudge pieces, and chocolate swirl) are all amazing.”

I would also add that ‘Peachy Paterno’ is a crowd favorite.

Cafe 210 West

There is no better place to celebrate a great college atmosphere than on the front patio at Cafe 210 West.  When national broadcasters roll into State College, you can always count on some b-roll footage of the Cafe making its way onto the telecast.  As with most of the popular spots in town, the Cafe gets packed, especially on football weekends.  Your best bet for a good time is to stop by for lunch on a Friday afternoon after you roll into town — hang out on the front patio along College Avenue, enjoy some great food, and take down a Long Island Iced Tea (or five).  If you do find yourself lingering here at night, you’ll be able to take in some live music in the back of the bar.  A local group — JR & Natalie — has played here for years and is pretty popular among the students (or, at least, used to be).  JR has gone through a number of female vocalists over the years and remains the only musician in America insistent upon covering “Strawberry Wine” by Deana Carter, at least once per show, for no good reason.

The Original Waffle Shop

Again, the words of Verballer Ryan: “The ultimate hangover cure. Great, buttery omelettes,fluffy pancakes, perfectly done home fries and yes, those waffles, with about as good a calorie-to-cost ratio as you’ll find. Three things to know: Do NOT go the one one downtown — the “originals” are both about a four-minute drive from campus; they only take cash.  And if you get there on a weekend morning after about 8:45 (especially on the Sunday after a home football game) be prepared to wait. It’ll be worth it.”

The Rathskeller

In the land of dingy, dirty, college bars, the Skeller may be king.  That said, it’s been a Penn State landmark dating back to 1933, and according to something called Complex Magazine, it’s the 15th best college bar in the country.  This place has a rowdy charm to it in that it sells cases of ponies to patrons and looks the other way when drunkards revel atop tables.  A fun place to go with a group of guys, but not so much with the missus if you’re looking for a quiet meal.  On a more personal note, the Skeller has intrinsic value to me for two reasons: (1) It was here that I spiked my cell phone to the ground, shattering it into a million pieces, after Notre Dame lost to BYU in the opening week of the 2004 season; (2) It was also here that I cornered former defensive back Rich Gardner and asked him if he had stolen the awkward speech he gave on diamonds in a Speech Communications class that we shared.

The Diner

Home of the famous Grilled Stickies, The Diner is another State College staple, and a popular late night option if you’re not feeling the one-dollar pizza slices at Canyon Pizza.  I’ve always been a glutton for the mac and cheese here, which contains enough calories to kill a small horse.

Otto’s Pub & Brewery

From Verballer Ryan: “About an eight-minute drive from campus, a really good brew-pub that usually has a half-dozen of its own beers on tap, along with a solid menu (sandwiches, burgers, and brick-oven pizzas) made almost exclusively with local meat and produce. Special mention here for Elk Creek Cafe & Ale Works, which isn’t in State College — it’s about a 30-minute drive to the one-stoplight town of Millheim, and you’ll pass Amish buggies along the way — but the craft beer and locally grown food are absolutely worth the trip.”

For what it’s worth, I made reservations and went here for my graduation dinner along with 10 other people.  We couldn’t have been happier with the service and quality of the food/beer.  Would definitely recommend this to anybody, especially those staying in hotels along North Atherton Street.

Baby’s

As the website says, it’s not just a diner, it’s an American experience.  Baby’s is an old-fashioned eatery, with a neat little 1950s thing going on.  It’s a stone cold lock that anyone over the age of 55 will love this place due to the atmosphere, and if you’re looking for a cheap place to get a good burger, you might want to check it out as well.  I’ve always been partial to the “Whimpy Basket,” which is two smaller cheeseburgers and fries for $4.39.

Mad Mex

Mad Mex is a small Mexican chain restaurant with nine locations across Pennsylvania and Ohio, perhaps none as vibrant or popular as the one in State College.  Stop by for a giant margarita, which is deceptively strong.  (Mama Hildenbrandt once decided to take down one of these despite the fact that she doesn’t really drink.  That worked out swimmingly.)  Mad Mex has progressively become a go-to spot for much of the student body over the last decade or so.

Other hotspots:

• The Deli – Good food and strong mixed drinks.
• The Corner Room – Another nice breakfast spot in State College.
• The Saloon – Go for the signature “Monkey Boy” pitchers, not for the uncomfortable trough in the men’s bathroom
• The Gingerbread Man – Just because this used to be my favorite hangout back in the day.  Apparently, its not cool anymore and the crowd has shifted down the street to The Lions Den, which is a great place to go if “crowded to the point of a fire hazard” is your style.

View State College Bar / Restaurant Recommendations in a larger map

Ty and Dan talk with Chris Brown from SmartFootball.com about turnover among offensive assistants in college football and the impact new philosophies will have on their respective teams.

Ty and Dan talk with Mike Hall from Big Ten Network about the conference’s offseason storylines, the impact his network has had on college football, and his unconventional path to becoming an anchor.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Adam “Pac-Man” Jones, West Virginia attendee and noted rainmaker. Former Fiesta Bowl CEO John Junker is seething with jealousy.

*****

• The Fiesta Bowl was fined ONE MILLION DOLLARS for their minor corruption snafus, but will stay in the BCS. That’s a lot of complimentary 2015 tortilla chips with my name on ‘em.

• If the NFL lockout sticks, get ready for more four-hour college football games. This according to the people that would make money from the six minute commercial breaks.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd has decided, before even a single game broadcast, that Urban Meyer on TV isn’t right. But who replaces him in the booth? My guess — Bob Stoops.

• If you’re keeping score at home, it’s been almost three and a half years since Joe Paterno has visited a recruit. And now he’ll be traveling less. Scary to think about how good Penn State will be with an acting head coach.

• Former Florida CB Janoris Jenkins will be playing out his eligibility at North Alabama, whatever that is.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett wraps the Big East spring. Long live Tino v. Geno in the backyard.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers emails. He feels good about the SEC. And there you have it.

• Clemson has no interest in Missouri QB transfer Tyler Gabbert. It’s because of the kids, you see.

• Thirty percent of Virginia Tech players will receive new helmets that actually help to guard against concussions. Always good.

• Iowa has verbally offered a 15 year old (who hasn’t played a down of varsity football) a scholarship. What could possibly go wrong?

• Rivals profiles Cal QB Zach Maynard, the Buffalo transfer who’s competing for the Bears’ starting job. Oh and his little brother is Cal‘s “star” WR.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day reinforces what we already all knew — jetpacks are awesome.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4CX-8Eo_6I

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the dreamy former locks of Michael Bolton, who were unable to star in the Lonely Island’s newest video with Bolton himself. It is not known if Bolton has ever graduated from anywhere, nor is it cared.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd has a post-spring top 25 and includes Auburn. Apparently he knows something we don’t about the potential 2-man spread that Philip Lutzenkirchen and Michael Dyer will be running. Cute.

• Ohio State has again come under the compliance microscope, this time for deals on used cars from local dealerships. I can’t seem to shake the image of Buckeye players using Columbus as a giant gifting suite, so I’ll just go with that for now.

• Michigan WR Darryl Stonum was arrested for driving under the influence.

• Memphis QB Ryan Williams is now officially Miami QB Ryan Williams, though all 6’6″ and 225 lbs of him will be sitting out this fall, joining Ty and me as talented athletes not allowed to play college football in the coming months.

• Is Texas QB Garrett Gilbert going to start once again for the Longhorns? It’s a “probably maybe” at this point and I’m quoting myself there as I react to what The Statesman’s Kirk Bohls thinks.

• ESPN’s David Ubben has a post-spring Big Twen wrap that includes power rankings, though I would argue that the word “power” isn’t nearly as accurate a word as anything lesser would be.

• Penn State should get decent play from its defensive tackles. So there’s that.

• The first numbered Rivals 100 is out. Know that this will change when Rivals sees which schools agree and disagree with their rankings. They’re sluts like that.

• SB Nation’s stat deity Bill Connelly cuddles up to Indiana football. Somebody had to.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder profiles Oklahoma offensive coordinator Josh Heupel. He’s expected to mastermind a season of great hope marred by a loss to a lesser team on the road at night.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a talking dog, no big deal.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiHIZl4RNB4

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Danny Pudi, whose Abed “character” admirably (and scientifically) calculated who was indeed the boss on “Who’s the Boss on last night’s Community. Play on, player. Play on.

*****

• The Pac-12 is having discussions with Fox, ESPN, NBC/Comcast, and Turner, with a figure of $2.3 buh-buh-billion dollars being thrown around for a ten year commitment. I’ll say it again, I’ll quit The Solid Verbal RIGHT NOW. No questions asked. If need be, I can even arrange the kidnapping of Ty. I can do it. Let’s do this thing.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd speaks with Penn State assistant Jay Paterno about the terrors 7-on-7 tournaments and its effect on recruiting. Of course there’s always possibility that the passing schemes at these camps overwhelm the Nittany Lion playbook.

• USC‘s got a whole lotta offensive line woes goin’ on.

• New Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is ruthless when comes to efficiency. The latest victim? The Killstache. RIP.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff previews tomorrow’s Ole Miss spring game.

• Aschoff does the same with Georgia, but with more allusions to moving violations.

• Tomorrow is a big Big East spring game day. Damn and it falls on the same calendar square as Dan Rubenstein Violent Nap Day.

• Wisconsin RB Zach Brown is an angry man, but in a good way. Like a dairy-fed Charles Bronson.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett interviews new Pitt coach Todd Graham. If you listen to yesterday’s show, you’ll be horrified at the statistics cited here.

• Five-star class of 2011 DT Delvon Simmons officially signed with Texas Tech after skipping out on North Carolina. He had long expressed a desire to play in a city a bit more nowheresy.

• As good as Alabama appears to look this fall, QB is still very much a question. As is, “How do we make this Brent Calloway story go away?”

• Fox Sports Ohio handicaps the Ohio State interim QB race. Jim Tressel appears to be covering up where he’s leaning.

• Vanderbilt OL coach Herb Hand CAN TAKE A HIT.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says Big 12 commissioner Dan Beebe is on the right path financially with the Big Twenelve.

• Texas A&M recruiting letters have, well, flair.

• EDSBS is raising money for an outstanding organization. If the mood strikes, stop by and help out.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is one of the better examples of everyone having an ability to do something outstanding. This girl sounds like animals. Her collection of birds is a revelation.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcVFM4X7OSg

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kate Upton because, damnit, she Dougies for Arash Markazi. And appears on Jimmy Traina’s podcast. And looks like Kate Upton.

*****

• Former Auburn OL Chaz Ramsey, who was interviewed on the HBO special about money and NCAA athletes, will speak to the NCAA about his allegations of under-the-table payments and ticket sales.

• After falling to 4th on the depth chart, Ole Miss QB Nathan Stanley will transfer. This makes it a perfect 10 players to leave Oxford since the end of 2010. I blame the Tom Kite Black Bear.

• The Big 12 has a new TV deal with Fox Sports worth a little over a billion (with a “b”) dollars to show all Big 12 sporting evens, including every football game that ESPN/ABC or school-operated channels won’t. To clarify, this even includes any Kansas/Iowa State matchups.

ESPN’s David Ubben reacts.

• Arizona State and Washington State have new uniforms. I’m grading Wazzu a bit higher on this one. Gray gets the nod.

• ESPN’s David Ubben visits Stillwater to get the straight poop on Oklahoma State. Pyongyang awaits your thoughts, sir.

• Northwestern and Notre Dame are going to play each other. They’ll fight over the Mandel-Hildenbrandt Cup.

• Kentucky QB Morgan Newton is once again starting. Let’s hope that sentence isn’t vacated.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg files notes from Ann Arbor. Like most of us, he’s captivated by QB Denard Robinson‘s effortless smile.

• How are things at QB in Berkeley? Good? Average? Uncomfortable? I have no idea.

• Want to know what USC QB Matt Barkley sees (other than possible rooftop shenanigans)? Fox Sports West straps on. A camera.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples profiles Keyshawn Johnson’s 7-on-7 team and training program, which definitely isn’t AAU football. Definitely not.

• You know that new Purdue Pete brought in to be less scary to the kiddies? Already done in West Lafayette.

• A former BYU professor explores Cougar athletes (mainly football players) and honor code violations.

• Rivals profiles Florida State QB EJ Manuel because it’s April and that’s what you do in April.

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden‘s mom has no idea where her son will be going to school this fall. Perhaps a phone call is in order.

• EDSBS has an updated Howard Schnellenberger Top 25. Suspenders are just CRUISING.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for Rise of The Planet of the Apes. Damn you James Franco!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqyKYrDta_E

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Cal pole vaulter Allison Stokke, who I can only imagine is beyond excited to listen to our brand spankin’ new Jeff Tedford interview.

*****

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart is sick and GOT-DANG tired of all the messes off the field in college football and proposes five simple steps to clean up the game.

• Ole Miss QB Randall Mackey has turned the corner after struggling with his voice in the huddle. Good on him.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff did something entirely human to seal the deal with a recruit across the country.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno is none too pleased with his offensive line. Oh and also that incessant rock and roll racket.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg visits with Ohio State. I’m sure they love the attention.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich profiles new Virigina Tech QB Logan Thomas and the expectations surrounding his ascent to starter. And then she herself says he could be a mix of Tyrod Taylor and Cam Newton, so there’s that.

• Some mini-facts from the most recent scrimmages of Boston College and Miami have now seen the light of day.

• Colorado kicker Justin Castor isn’t a fan of Dan Hawkins nearly as much as he is, well, not a fan of Dan Hawkins.

• Yesterday was Colorado and today is Utah in Ted Miller‘s Pac-12 food odyssey.

• Scout.com has released its initial Scout 300 rankings for the 2012 class. #1 QB? Guy named Gunner. No big deal. Gunner.

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray wears a European Carry-all. It’s European!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the same sink prank done three straight years. To the same guy (language NSFW).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnHIkS0T9HQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Harvard grad Paul Pfeiffer, the true star (along with his hamster, Wheezer) of The Wonder Years, now available on Netflix streaming. Boom.

*****

• Texas played their annual Orange and White game yesterday. I watched QB Garrett Gilbert throw a dumb pick, saw QB Case McCoy look decent, and then fell asleep. The Statesman and Burnt Orange Nation fill in the rest. ESPN has video.

Speaking of which, the new ESPN/Texas venture, The Longhorn Network, has a logo and a site. You won’t believe this, but they got Matthew McConaughey to record a short video promo. Presumably shirtless.

• Michigan and Notre Dame will be wearing throwback jerseys this year when they meet each other. I assume the uniform choice will be representative of better times for both programs. This could mean a decidedly 1996 look.

• Smart Football delves into the Dana Holgorsen madness. This time it’s West Virginia’s coach-in-waiting say it takes three days-ish to install a good offense. Ok then.

• The Big East held scrimmages this weekend. ESPN’s Brian Bennett has the “story.”

• Virginia held a spring game. ESPN’s Heather Dinich has a short breakdown of the game and an extensive one about the various wines and cheeses available outside.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno offers up some Penn State spring thoughts.

• LSU‘s QB depth stands thusly: Jefferson, Lee, Mettenberger.

• Fox Sports Arizona profiles ASU QB Brock Osweiler, a passer who has, so far, been best evaluated as “not as good as Steven Threet.” I’m quoting life.

• SI’s Jordan Conn profiles new Colorado coach Jon Embree. Apparently, Embree loves the process of building success and hates superfluous H’s.

• Rivals rates the five best assistant hires in each BCS conference. All the BUZZ is free!

• Central Arkansas sees your plain green turf or your trying-too-hard blue/red turf and raises you purple and gray stripes. Ca-ching.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is raw, dirty, public sax.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaoLU6zKaws

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Pat Sajak, Columbia College (Chicago) alumnus. I condsidered using him alongside Trebek in last week’s video, but there’s just too much damn clapping and crazy sounds behind his voice. Gotta keep it clean, Wheel.

*****
• Touted UCF QB signee DaMarcus Smith asked for his release just a few weeks after signing day. This is after a last-minute switch to UCF from Louisville. I’m guessing Smith is the annoying guy at the table who asks for a couple more minutes while everyone else is ready to order. Twice.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer previews Oregon’s spring. He has the audacity to use the word “Yruretagoyena.”

• Penn State DE Pete Massaro tore his ACL and will miss the 2011 season. And this is after WR Curtis Drake broke his leg last week.

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel signed things last week while weird looking people looked on. There’s no way this series of photographs can be described more accurately.

• Things are a-changin’ in Minnesota. KILLLLLL.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller attended a Utah practice and now he thinks he knows everything. Ok, he knows enough for six solid bullet points.

He also lists Pac-12 QB depth charts.

• Urban Meyer goes to a Notre Dame practice and watches them hit each in close confines. Settle down.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Nebraska practice bullet points. Only four, though. Point Miller.

• Lane Kiffin, actor.

• Football Study Hall statifies the Houston Cougars. You knew this was coming. Statify!

• FX will show a weekly game this fall from a pool of Pac-12, Big 12, and Conference USA games. Game changer. Something else.

• The Pac-12 is considering Sunday games if the NFL lockout continues. Fun.

• Illinois is having a series of practices this spring. Rivals’s Tom Dienhart confirms this.

• Rivals also previews UCLA and Rutgers. Yes, this is the meat of the Click Chorus.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best 90s Internet warning video I’ve seen all day. I now know that mustachioed sleeveless men are skeevy. Saved me a lot of time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yo_24bC_cM

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Morehead State attendee and perennial game show host  Chuck Woolery. The Eagles are in the tournament and won’t stop breaking hearts until, well, possibly today.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Stanford QB Andrew Luck. What I learned: He’s seen ZZ Top LIVE, which only partially explains his neckbeard.

• Five-star UNC defensive tackle signee Delvon Simmons has officially been released from his scholarship and will transfer elsewhere. It’s almost as if taking an official visit to the school and meeting your position coach face to face is meaningful. Almost.

• The Pac-12 decided to welcome itself to college sports by filming a bouncy music video. It’s about as good/bad as you think it is.

• Alabama blog Roll Bama Roll previews the Tide’s defensive backfield. I’m guessing they’ll be just fine.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney previews Notre Dame’s spring, along with the springs of other notable non-BCS conference schools. Somebody had to.

• Oh like you’ve never tried to steal a bathing suit by wearing it under your pants? Ole Miss!

• Rivals previews Penn State. “Never count out a Paterno-coached team,” they say, which makes it easier to count out Penn State.

• Rivals also previews Syracuse. You don’t just ignore the Pinstripe Bowl champ, ok?

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Tom Green in Afghanistan. Bum.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLuHMB438gc

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Adam Jacobi about Iowa’s path forward, Ohio State’s turmoil and Words With Friends.  Plus, a very special presentation from Tim Hyland of About.com.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Maryland alum Jim Henson, the late creator of the Muppets. I don’t doubt for a second that he’d like the Terps’ new uniforms.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd looks at the BCS’s tax-exempt status. Crap, The Solid Verbal may be next.

• Iowa WR Marvin McNutt will miss spring practice after having both shoulder and thumb surgery. I’m assuming an Iowa player missing time without the reason including the word “test” is a relief.

• The NFL Scouting Combine is ongoing. Here are some top performers. Surf around for all times. Man, I miss using the word “surf” when talking about the Interwebz.

• Miami AD Kirby Hocutt is leaving for the same position at Texas Tech. He blames his family. Harsh.

• The trees at Auburn’s Toomer’s Corner have a fightin’ chance. Now I’m imagining trees fighting each other, and it … is … AWESOME.

• Georgia RB Washaun Ealey has been reinstated after two weeks. Possibly the most crucial two weeks of the college football year.

• Want to know what’s going on with Penn State QB Rob Bolden and him possibly transferring? This video of him offers few answers.

• Maryland has new uniforms that may or may not look like tight racing jumpsuits.

• Florida State blog Tomahawk Nation takes a statistical look at 2010′s first-year defensive coordinators. East Carolina‘s got some ‘splainin to do. Or they’re just not good at the whole “defense” thing.

• Rivals looks at ten offseason offensive line storylines. That sentence was more difficult to type than I anticipated when I started.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the preview for Riverdale, a non-existant Archie movie.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=djRAiiFlCy8

Enjoy your Monday.

With Dan feeling under the weather, Ty talks with Uncle Joe Colarusso about the BCS, Cam Newton and NFL combines, and then plows through the inbox with East Coast Elliott, who introduces a strange name game, disses Charlie Weis, and seals his deal for a trip to hell with talk of his Dead League.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ronnie from Jersey Shore. I assume he’s pro Monmouth in the budding QB mixtape feud.

*****

• Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville received a raise of $500,000 — an upsetting detail to the school’s faculty members, who recently were forced to take pay cuts. And agree to comb Tuberville’s fine silver hair once a week. Excessive.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel speaks with former current UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has a primer for Stanford’s spring. It purports that QB Andrew Luck is competent. I’m taking a wait-and-see approach.

• Monmouth QB Alex Tanney put together his own trick throw mixtape and claims to be better than UConn QB Johnny McEntee. Can’t we settle this like the American Gladiators would — on an elaborate TV set? C’mon, like CBS College Sports doesn’t have a 30 minute block to fill at some point…

• The NCAA will try to understand “recruiting.” And not a moment too soon!

• Former Oklahoma RB and subject of “The Best There Never Was” Marcus Dupree is now a wrassler. This can only end well.

• SB Nation’s Andy Hutchins is slowly releasing his Top 25. The good news? Central Florida is still Central Florida.

• ESPN’s Chris Low previews the SEC East and the SEC West. And then Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never 3D. Snaps!!

• ESPN’s Ted Miller explains the home field tiebreaker for the new Pac-12 championship game. It’s exactly how you imagined it to be, unless you made the leap that I did, and imagined an elaborate lingerie game to settle it. <—Perv.

Miller also profiles new Colorado coach Jon Embree, who is “Colorado to the core.” I know this because the profile includes a picture of Embree standing in front of mountains. To the core!

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray suffered a minor ankle injury that will almost assuredly not affect his playing career at all.

• It’s the offseason, so that can only mean one thing for Penn State — DANCING!!

• Cal may wear white helmets for a game in 2011, just like Stanford always does. Draaaaaama!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a baby getting drunk and destroying a bar full of puppets. Because why not, right?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cds7lSHawAw

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan examine the strange case of “Al from Dadeville,” the ballad of Rick Neuheisel, and the various assistant coaching hires around the country.  Plus, listener messages.

Ty and Dan talk with David Jones from The Patriot-News about Penn State’s quarterback quandary, the overall direction of the program, expectations moving forward, and the possibility that Joe Paterno could be still be coaching in 2012(!)  Plus, Ty’s completely gratuitous theory for getting a new basketball coach in State College .

Ty and Dan are joined by Brandon Huffman from Scout.com and Chris Pool of ESPN and Scouts, Inc. to discuss all the action from National Signing Day, including the rise of Oregon and Auburn, the fall of UCLA, the marathon coverage by ESPNU, and thunder snow.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NBC News’s Chris Hansen, a proud Michigan State graduate who takes down pedophiles. I assume he was too busy trapping horrible people to watch the Capitol One Bowl. Speaking of pedophiles…

*****

• Charlie Weis is Florida’s new offensive coordinator. Brace yourself for eight solid months of people overanalyzing that sentence.

Oh and Seattle Seahawks DL coach Dan Quinn takes over the other side of the ball as Florida‘s defensive coordinator.

• UConn coach Randy Edsall is now Maryland coach Randy Edsall. It’s not a “splash hire” nearly as much as it is a leaf gently swaying in the wind before it delicately slides into place atop a silent pond.

• The team favored to win the Rose Bowl … won the Rose Bowl.

• Alabama got healthy and promptly beat up on Michigan State. Circle of life.

• New Pitt coach Mike Haywood is now former Pitt coach Mike Haywood (undefeated!) after he was charged with domestic violence.

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney has fired two offensive coaches after noticing that his team was sans football-moving abilities.

• Ohio St QB Terrelle Pryor has made an enemy in ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit. And that would be after Pryor received three moving violations in three shady loaner car deals. And a shady tattoo investigation. And breaking NCAA rules for selling jerseys and awards. Well played.

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden is joining Penn State QB Kevin Newsome on the transfer train. Prospects take note — it’s a good idea to actually take into account what type of offense is run at your school of choice.

• UConn RB Jordan Todman, the nation’s second leading rusher, declared for the NFL Draft. Sounds about right.

• UCF got a little punchy before during the on-field Liberty Bowl celebration.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have Orange Bowl previews, keys, and more!. Huzzah!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall channels his inner Jim Delaney in reviewing the Big 10‘s Saturday performance. It’s not pretty.

And then the real Jim Delaney channeled his inner Jim Delaney.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says Michigan‘s Gator Bowl performance against Mississippi State should spell the end of days for Rich Rodriguez.

• The Wiz has front pages from newspapers from around the country. I checked, he didn’t get any Beetle Bailey screencaps. Bah.

• BCS TV ratings are either amazing or horrible.

• If you attended the TicketCity Bowl, you probably had awesome seats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is polar bears playing with spy cameras. Obviously.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT0O2RyxnkY

Enjoy your Monday + Orange Bowl!

Ty and Dan discuss coaching moves at Maryland, Pittsburgh and (potentially) Michigan and haphazardly offer grades for various bowl teams.  Plus, previews for the remaining seven games, including the BCS Championship.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Seth Galifianakis, brother of Zach and proud NC State graduate. Go Wolfpack!

*****

• Air Force beat Georgia Tech in the Triple Option Bowl in a game that can best be described as “14-7.” If anything, it was a victory for football purists — those who still aren’t fully on board with newfangled ideas like “the forward pass.”

Even Air Force‘s falcon briefly left the action in Shreveport.

• Sue Paterno, wife of Penn State coach Joe, is fighting back against rumors that her husband is in poor health and retiring in a week.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor will not, no matter his future plans, play in the Bucks’ first five games. A current high school senior probably will.

• North Carolina RB Anthony Elzy won’t play in the Music City Bowl because of “failing to meet his obligations as a student athlete.” Great, now the Music City Bowl means NOTHING.

• Four Florida players will miss the Gator Bowl after undergoing various surgeries. I’m calling it now — Muschamp-sponsored bionic limb introductions. Scandal!

• ESPN‘s bloggers are hard at work doing what they always do:

Insight Bowl — Keys … Preview

Champs Sports — Keys … Preview

• Texas Tech WR Adam James was upset about playing time under former coach Mike Leach. Things are WAY better now.

• Arizona had some famous former Wildcats call up the Alamo Bowl and talk up their school. Oh and they were all basketball players. Bowls!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a random video of Craig Ferguson singing and dancing with a guy in a tuxedo, three bikini girls, a robot skeleton, and an S&M dude. Why not?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwkK5-ibYcw

Enjoy your Tuesday + Champs Sports Bowl + Insight Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michigan alum Lucy Liu, who, all things considered, is probably pretty happy with the Christmas Eve Columbus, OH is having.

*****

• San Diego State had their way with Navy 35-14 in last night’s Poinsettia Bowl. SDSU RB Ronnie HIllman is now officially an enemy of the state after what he did to our brave Naval Forces.

• Once again, Ohio State suspended five players for selling awards, rings, and jerseys, including QB Terrelle Pryor, RB Dan Herron, and WR Devier Posey. They’ll sit, if back, for the first five games of 2011, but will be allowed (HURRAY!!) in this year’s Sugar Bowl against Arkansas.

SI.com’s Stewart Mandel says it only helps to support the thought that NCAA‘s punishments are arbitrary and inconsistent. SI.com’s Andy Staples believes the players in question should cut bait and turn pro.

ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg examines the impact of the suspensions.

• Rumors are swirling that Penn State coach Joe Paterno will retire after the Outback Bowl. I’m as stunned as you are.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson expects sufficient offensive fireworks in tonight’s Hawaii Bowl. Fair enough.

• USC‘s appeal to the NCAA will happen January 22 in Indianapolis. Without knowing exactly what USC will present to defend itself, expect the NCAA’s response to be devoid of any reason, precedent, or consistency.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of amusing things that are somewhat related to Christmas.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmbkk_sXnD0

Enjoy your Friday + Hawaii Bowl + Holidays!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kelly Kapowski. Why? Because Chip Kelly is your AP Coach of the Year and his name has Kelly in it. Shouldn’t even have to explain these anymore.

*****

• Louisville edged Southern Miss in last night’s Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl. See? Dance-brawls DO matter!

• The Cardinals may have been able to ultimately stop Southern Miss, but they didn’t stop this ridiculous catch by QB Austin Davis. Yes, QB.

The band was unimpressed.

• Utah WR Devonte Christopher flipped the script and called Boise State “Girlse State.” I see what you did there!

• Let’s be serious — here’s what to look for and here are some keys for tonight’s Las Vegas Bowl matchup of Girlse State and Utah. Comedy after all!!

• LSU RB Stevan Ridley was ruled academically ineligible to play in the Cotton Bowl. Advanced Biomedical Engineering is a BITCH.

• Tennessee coach Derek Dooley is still getting a handle on Facebook. Accidentally poking every SEC coach is no way to make friends.

• Puppets sing/rap about Notre Dame. Slow news day? Why do you ask? (via edsbs)

• Assistant coaches who perform well are making good money. Also, assistant coaches at Texas are making good money.

• Oregon’s Chip Kelly is the AP Coach of the Year. Clearly emotionally overwhelmed, Kelly issued a touching statement of, “So?”

• Nobody really wants to travel to mediocre bowl games (redundant, I know).

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno turned 84 yesterday. What? WHAT? WHATTTTT?????

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a song from The Lonely Island and Akon. They say “penis” a lot and Blake Lively is there. Woo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

Enjoy your Wednesday + Las Vegas Bowl.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly, who I saw on a Texas sideline once (but didn’t take this picture). Mack Brown has since blamed them for this season’s slide.

*****

• Since we last spoke, everybody has hired a new coach (image via). Ahem:

Florida convinced Texas DC Will Muschamp (and his wristband) to leave the Austin Tire Fire for the Gainesville Tire Fire. EDSBS’s Spencer Hall reacts and makes it about blowfish sushi. Of course he does.

Miami hired Solid Verbal Guest (and Temple coach) Al Golden. He once hosted a training video.

Northern Illinois hired Wisconsin DC Dave Doeren.

Vanderbilt seemed to have hired Auburn OC Gus Malzahn, but he’s apparently not in any sort of need of $3 million. Or something.

• Arkansas essentially re-hired coach Bobby Petrino and made it so only Qatar State can buy him out.

• Auburn QB Cam Newton deservedly won the Heisman Trophy and is a consensus All-American.

Butttttt, the Football Writers Association of America did an independent investigation, proved and confirmed that Newton knew about his father’s solicitation the entire time, and subsequently left him off their Harumph Harumph Almost All-American team. I just can’t find a link of their findings yet. Rest assured, though, I will!!!!!

• Despite what he insisted, Urban Meyer may not be the picture of good health.

• I don’t know if I’m pumped or bummed out by this screengrab of Cam Newton and LaMichael James. James is also not impressed by flying Dumbos.

• Hawaii is officially a Mountain West team. So there’s that.

• The Big Ten, in unveiling its new logo and division names, revealed themselves to be exactly what we mostly thought they were — uh, dorks.

• ESPN’s Pat Forde says Texas coach Mack Brown has an uphill battle this offseason, as he needs to hire two new coordinators. Part of the application has leaked and obviously, if you want one of those jobs, certainly check the box next to, “Comfortable under bus?”

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno can’t hear you. But he can run the day-to-day of and make important decisions instantly for a gigantic football program. Yep.

• Navy beat Army again. You’re probably pumped if you own a peacoat.

• Nike will unveil new bowl uniforms for TCU, Boise State, Florida, and, if you can believe it, Oregon.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of lightning bolts.

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan review a handful of conference championship games and dissect a bunch of projected bowl pairings.

Ty and Dan break down a wild weekend that saw a monster upset by Nevada, a triumphant victory for Auburn, and a defining loss for Rich Rodriguez against Ohio State.  Plus, wackiness in the Big 12, closure in the ACC, and a host of listener Reverbs.

Ty and Dan deliver a super-sized episode, chock full of analysis for all the week’s biggest rivalries, listener e-mails and voice messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Billings, MT Mayor Tom Hanel. I needlessly insulted his fine town (below) and am thus making it up to him and his town here. Tom is the one with the mustache.

*****

• Ohio State president E. Gordon Gee doesn’t like Boise State or TCU and doesn’t think there should ever be a system to put them on equal footing, mostly because he thinks their schedules are undeserving. And as SI.com’s Andy Staples notes, Ohio State should be congratulated on their 59th ranked schedule, a whopping NINE spots ahead of Boise’s 68th.

• Former Ohio State LB Chris Spielman is shocked at how bad Michigan’s defense truly is, but likes QB Denard Robinson a lot. I think the combination of these two thoughts works out to a compliment.

• Colorado apparently thinks LSU Coach Les Miles is worth pursuing. Kind of sad when the fake long-shot rumor you’re floating to make yourself sound important involves Les Miles. I take that back — there’s nothing “kind of” about it.

• Nebraska DC Carl Pelini is sorry now, too.

• Who argues and makes a bigger spectacle of himself — Bob or Mike Stoops? The Wall Street Journal took the time to find out. It’s pretty close, but Mike’s facial-redness factor has really taken him to new heights.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell us what to watch and make some predictions. Here’s a guarantee: I predict there will be massive intestinally-driven DVR pausing across the country on Friday. Take that as you will.

• Here is this week’s regional ESPN/ABC map, so you can see what games are where. Residents of Billings, Montana — screwed again. The first time of course was simply having to be in BIllings, Montana. Actually, I take that back, it’s probably awesome in Montana. Now I feel bad. Here’s looking at you, Billings!

• GOOD NEWS: Eric LeGrand, the paralyzed Rutgers player, is breathing on his own and is not as paralyzed as he previously had been. Great things.

This news is essentially the opposite of any headline involving E. Gordon Gee.

• Clemson RB Andre Ellington is a game-time decision against South Carolina.

• Former Oregon coach and current ESPN broadcaster Mike Bellotti talks punt-blocking. PASSION!

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno will be back next year. Hey, Lavar Arrington isn’t going to coach himself.

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray says he’s pain-free (knee, sternum) and will be good to go against Georgia Tech Saturday night. The game plan remains unchanged — throw it up to #8.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart interviews TCU coach Gary Patterson. Patterson gives his Fort Worth food and bar recommendations. Ok, he doesn’t, but we need them, Verballers. Where you at?

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley plays in a completely fair and just way. Just ask his teammates.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter, fresh off his 4th strike suspension, should be reinstated for the Notre Dame game. Whew.

• USC QB Matt Barkley hasn’t been practicing, but hopes to play against Notre Dame. He’s already started locking onto his receivers a few days ahead of kickoff, so things seem promising.

• The New York Times is all up in Cecil Newton’s church business grill.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is SNL’s Jay Pharoah (not Natalie Portman) on Letterman. I think I’ve already posted a video of him, but good impressions are really hard to do and he’s going STRONG with Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, and President Obama.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQ4CoxiGrY

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan talk about LSU’s close call, Nebraska’s dud, a potential Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl, and the ongoing Dillon Baxter Experiment at USC.

Ty & Dan discuss the latest in the Cam Newton pay-for-play situation and the need to renovate Husky Stadium, and break down all the Week 12 action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by James Lipton, host of Inside the Actor’s Studio. I couldn’t locate where/if he attended college, but I’ve actually become pretty excited about the upcoming appearance of Cal’s defensive line on his show. ACTING!!

*****

• Florida coach Urban Meyer expects Steve Addazio to remain in place as the Gators’ offensive coordinator next season. And yes, that’s good news for Gator fans who can’t stand to see supremely fast athletes getting the football in space. That would be the final frontier.

• Wisconsin coach Brett Bielema is going to keep on scoring and it’s pretty clear he doesn’t care what you or Dickie V think. Fine by me.

• Penn State RB Silas Redd was cited for disorderly conduct at 4:13 am, a fancy way of saying he was taking a leak in public. Since Ty blessed Redd as his favorite NIttany Lion RB this week, I think we can conclude that the Hildenbrandt Reverse Jinx is alive and well.

• SB*Nation’s Spencer Hall spoke with ESPN’s Rece Davis about Rece Davis-type topics.

• EDSBS’s Holly Anderson (Peete) gives out some rad stickers to college football names. Even Dan Hawkins (who was actually AT Saturday’s Colorado game) gets in on the action.

• Washington QB Jake Locker “expects” to play against UCLA Thursday night. Adjust your Thursday accordingly. And watch a new episode of The Office or something. Man, Archer needs to come back like yesterday.

• Boston College’s Luke Kuechly is an outstanding LB, but since he doesn’t play for TCU or Oregon or Auburn and he couldn’t personally jump somebody in the BCS rankings, he doesn’t matter. La-la-la I can’t heeeeaaaarrrr youuuuuu.

Ok, Yahoo!!!!!!!! also thinks he matters.

• Fanhouse’s Clay Travis thoroughly explains why Auburn QB Cam Newton will 100% be ineligible. Finally, SOMEBODY starts writing about the SEC.

• Staying on Clay, Wisconsin RB John Clay may sit this week (@ Michigan) after missing last week’s Indiana game. This changes nothing.

• Utah, once thought to be a legitimate top 10 team, embarrassed itself and hurt TCU with its loss to Notre Dame. That’s right, Mountain West Conference credibility has been hurt because of a loss to a depressing team like Notre Dame.

• A predominantly SEC-centric writer and a non-AQ writer predict bowl matchups. Penn State-Florida could theoretically happen, which would ultimately require a Spencer Hall/Ty Hildenbrandt live play predictor showdown.

• Cal defensive linemen are prone to spontaneous cramps. And below-average acting. Cal Football: We may not win, but we’ll go down acting like toddlers.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the definitive lesson on catching wild turtles in Kentucky. I defy you to do better.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn8EQ0azXpQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan go through all the Week 11 action and break down Oregon’s close win on the road against Cal.

Ty and Dan analyze the latest on the Cam Newton situation in light of recent comments by purported associate Kenny Rogers.  Plus, e-mails, voice messages and Week 11 picks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Natalie Portman. I don’t really need to explain further, but she went to Harvard, who had the audacity to beat Lafayette last month. She’s also in some new movie with rule-breaking Iowa booster Ashton-Something. I forgive her.

*****

• ESPN’s Joe Schad is reporting that both Cam and Cecil Newton admitted to a “pay for play plan” during phone calls, and that Cam himself apologized to recruiters at Mississippi State because the “money was too much” at Auburn to pass up.

SportsbyBrooks is convinced somebody is lying.

• Ole Miss QB Jeremiah Masoli suffered a concussion against Louisiana-Lafayette and is questionable against Tennessee.

• Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops said nothing seemed out of the ordinary to him while the Sooners recruited Cam Newton. Of course, how much credibility does Stoops have out ON THE ROAD? Exactly.

• CBS Sports’s Adam Jacobi spoke with Jack Arute and Mike Leach. Out loud.

• Oregon (backup) QB Nate Costa is out for the season after suffering a career-ending knee injury on a botched play. This is the fourth major knee surgery for Costa, inching him closer on the punch card to that coveted free sandwich.

• Iowa RB Adam Robinson is expected to play this week against Northwestern after missing last week’s Indiana game with a possible concussion.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) reviews last night’s outstanding 30for30 documentary, “The Best There Never Was” about former Oklahoma RB Marcus Dupree.

• Florida State QB Christian Ponder missed practice yesterday due to a right elbow injury.

• Colorado fired Dan Hawkins partly because an embarrassing Kansas comeback was a clear last straw. SI.com’s Joe Posnanski celebrates a pretty great Kansas win.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel, along with other SI staffers, sits down with NCAA President Mark Emmert. On video. IN your computer.

• The Wiz has the last 30 years of Michigan trick plays.

• Minnesota evidently has San Diego State coach Brady Hoke on their short list of coaching candidates.

• Penn State has named Matt McGloin the new starter at QB. Coach Joe Paterno even went as far as learning his name, so you know it’s for real.

• Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen has been amazing for the Cowboys. This means he’s either gone after the year or it’s time for STRAIGHT. CASH. HOMEY.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an apology from Bundaberg Rum over an insensitive commercial. I don’t know why, but I forgive them.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRvE_fNW_N0

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by awful human being Ted Bundy, graduate of the University of Washington, a non-embarrassing academic institution.

*****
• CBS cameras caught LSU coach Les Miles eating grass during the Alabama game. Apparently it wasn’t the first time. This singular act is why college football is light years beyond the NFL.

• This week’s BCS Standings are out. You know they’re legit when an exceedingly average Kansas State team checks in at #24.

• The Denver Post is reporting that Dan Hawkins job at Colorado is safe “for now.” It should be noted that a hacker installed a macro in the computers at The Denver Post that changes the words “absolute dust” to “safe.” Just for giggles.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno won his 400th game. Word from State College, PA was that the coach celebrated quietly with family and a printout of the names and positions of his current starters. He’ll have it memorized by bowl time, damnit.

• Washington Athletic Director Scott Woodward watched his school lose AGAIN to Oregon, but took the time to call the academics at Oregon an embarrassment. And now a brief non-sanctioned Oregon rebuttal.

1. Woodward probably poops his pants all the time. I don’t know if this is true or not, but my subpar Oregon education never came with a manual explaining whether or not it’s ethical to imply who is and is not a Mr. Poopypants.

2. Woodward is the athletic director at Washington and has nothing to do with how good or bad Washington’s academics is or is not. Your revenue sports are (at best) average, your football stadium is dumpy, and you send out Jake Locker postcards. Congratulations.

• There was an exciting end to a game between two anonymous unranked teams.

• The Pac Twen announced its 2011 schedule. And you thought the next 23 seconds of your life would be uneventful. Ha!

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel, in his weekly College Football Overtime column,  implies that the SEC would be better served just shutting down football as a conference sport. Or it’s the usual column reviewing the week in college football. I can never tell.

• CBS Sports’s Eric Sorensen grids it up, giving awards to teams, people, and abstract concepts. Everyone will treasure these forever.

• CBS Sports’s Dr. Jerry Palm says the TCU-Boise State battle is “far from done.” Seriously, it’s in the title, why would I make that up?

• EDSBS has power rankings that go on distracted tangents quicker than … ooh I could go for an English muffin. How good are those nooks and crannies?

• LSUFreek has Nick Saban peeing in a bathroom next to a tiger. You may think he’s just putting Saban’s head into a scene from “The Hangover,” but really that’s exactly what’s going on. Kudos, Mr. College Education.

• Another Florida freshman may be in the doghouse. This one is DT Dominique Easley. He’ll either be the best Florida DT ever or will be off the team by December. There’s no in-between.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers have conference race updates. We at The Solid Verbal vehemently disagree with the notion that Texas is last in the Big 12 South, as Texas is still very much Texas.

*Note to Ty, if I knew how to autotune, I would produce no less than 17 electronic dance hits with you saying, “Texas is still Texas.” And the chorus would include, “speaking of pedophiles.”

• The Wiz (aka The Kingmaker) has local and national Week 11 reactions and the week’s snapshots. Texas fans seem bummed. Mack Brown Karma is a BITCH.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an outstanding trick play (via The Wiz).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UIdI8khMkw

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan discuss a crazy week of high-scoring action and a very important statement win by TCU.  Plus, Reverbs and poking more fun at Ty’s locks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michigan alumnus James Earl Jones. I don’t know how he feels about mgoblog’s general support of Rich Rodriguez, but I felt like posting a picture of the most famous Jones-voiced role, Darth Vader, and thus, I did. Oh and the second most famous would obviously be Mustafa from the Lion King. Another time, Verballers.

*****

• The Big East unanimously voted to become a 10-team football conference. It’s noted that the “obvious” choice is Villanova, while the sneaky pick would, of course, be Alabama.

• Mississippi State DE Nick Bell tragically passed away Tuesday after battling cancer. Thoughts, of course, are with anyone and everyone that knew Bell.

• The Nittany Lion has been dismissed. Or at least the guy inside of him. Wait, that sounded wrong. Ok, I’ll stop.

• LSU Freek checks in with a Bama Hell March. It’s great fun. (via EDSBS)

• Tony Barnhart of CBS Sports and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution thinks Georgia DC Todd Grantham should be suspended for his choke gesture. I have no opinion, other than amazement at the fact that Tony Barnhart is six yards wide in his photograph.

• MGoBlog’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) presents the “Tenuous Case for Keeping Rich Rodriguez.”

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has QB updates on Penn State, Purdue, and Indiana. Whew.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson echoes an email that currently sits in the Avery Labels Inbox (first product I saw) — Hawaii is playing extremely well (7-2. 5-0, 6 W in a row) and their game at Boise State this weekend should be ginormous.

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez should be good to go for Iowa State on Saturday. Those of you with the most neutral accents should be pleased.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin may have overreacted and pressed a bit when Oregon started scoring quickly. It’s nothing to be ashamed of — every first-time PS3/XBOX gamer does the same thing.

Kiffin also, according to RB Marc Tyler, may have single-handedly lost the game for the Trojans. Woops.

• Fox Sports’s Lisa Horne reviews some under-the-radar players. Keep in mind that Ty and I have already discussed most of these guys over the course of the season, but I always enjoy seeing SDSU RB Ronnie Hillman and WSU WR Marquess Wilson get some lurve.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s George Schroeder (SVBFF) talks to former Oregon coach Rich Brooks about the Ducks’ climb to the top of the college football mountain.

• You’re not going to believe this, but in the coincidence of all coincidences, a Boise State player is being accused of a cheap shot. I know, right? Crazy.

• Following a concussion to Miami QB Jacory Harris, (freshman) QB Stephen Morris is the probable starter for the Canes against Maryland on Saturday.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is John Wall doing the “Dougie.” I have no idea why I like this dance so much, but I do. The dream scenario is getting a “Dougie” video from Doug Flutie. Make it happen!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pry6Cp0kSO0

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan get together on Halloween and recap the Week 9 action, including solid road wins by Oregon and Auburn and tough road losses for Michigan State and Missouri.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Scarlett Johansson, because, well, damnit it just is.

*****

• The latest from Notre Dame regarding the accident with the video assistant. The school has commenced their expected backpedaling.

Fox Sports’s Jason Whitlock thinks the accident should spell Brian Kelly’s exit from the school.

• ESPN has a “Firsthand Account of Life as a College Football Video Coordinator.”

• Michigan State CB Chris Rucker has been reinstated by Spartans coach Mark Dantonio, following a short jail sentence for violating his probation with a DWI. I love that warm, fuzzy feeling I get after reading stories like these.

• Oregon has been quite good this year, but has had some momentary issues on the road. After noticing this, Lane Kiffin immediately pointed out that USC has had issues both on the road AND at home. So there.

• The CFB experts at CBS Sports make their picks for the weekend. No spread, no explanation, just logos. It appears that the only prerequisite for being an “expert” at CBS is having a goatee or being bald, or some sort of combination thereof.

• Matt McGloin will start for Penn State tomorrow. Prediction: We’ll look back on Oct. 30, 2010 as the day Matt McGloin became the greatest college QB in the history of the game.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers go with a Halloween theme while looking at difference conference stories. Just kidding, that’d be crazy lame, right?

• NC State beat Florida State last night in a battle some are calling, “Another Game in Which Two Solid Verbal Coaching Guests Played Each Other.” Pretty accurate if you ask me.

• Something called WhatIf Sports ran hundreds of simulations of tomorrow’s games and posted the results. What does it meeeeeaaannn?

• Remember Choose Your Own Adventure (CYOA to those of us in the know)? SB Nation’s Spencer Hall does, and runs some CYOA game with Auburn. <-- Click link to continue.

• If 7,294 college football writers write columns this week about USC QB Matt Barkley being overlooked, doesn’t that sort of defeat the purpose? SI.com’s Stewart Mandel is 7,295.

• Florida WR Chris Rainey has officially been cleared to play against Georgia tomorrow. Time to (run the) dive (for two yards)!

• Here’s this week’s regional ABC/ESPN map. If you live in North Dakota, want to see Oregon/USC, and don’t have cable or the Internet, you’re pretty much SOL. Wait, how are you reading this, then? Eerie.

• The NFL Draft-niks are cooling on Washington QB Jake Locker. Looks like they finally got around to watching some game tape from the past few years.

• Missouri plays defense very well. Honest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of bullet-time surfing in Malaysia — or as we like to call it here, Verbacon 2011.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlZPmABrLu8

Enjoy your Friday + College Football Saturday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Foot Locker. Why? Because it’s the most successful shoe store ever started by a referee with no hands, that’s why.

And because Florida State plays tonight. That’s also why.

*****

• A Notre Dame student/video assistant was tragically killed when the tower he was filming practice from was knocked over by tremendous winds. He posted updates on Twitter beforehand, it’s pretty haunting.

• Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon will be suspended for one game following Monday’s DUI arrest. Because the only real way to send a message that drunkenly driving 92 MPH in the middle of the night is unacceptable on your team is missing three hours of football.

• The Big 12 suspended Nebraska LB Eric Martin for what it perceived to be a helmet to helmet hit against Oklahoma State. Later, after careful review, the Big 12 also decided to suspend most of Boise State‘s secondary.

• Shirts are now available revealing Texas OC Greg Davis’s most secret offensive plays. Rejoice!

• Because successful college football coaches will be far too busy breaking down film to dress up in Halloween costumes this weekend, Michigan Zone imagines the possibilities.

• ESPN Radio announcer Dave LaMont gets a wee bit angry during Saturday’s Florida Atlantic game. And by that, I mean he challenges an entire press box to a fight. Good times.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers demand you watch for certain storylines in Saturday’s games. They then politely predict some outcomes. And finally, they have a pretty big question about some inconsistencies in “The Shattering.”

• Interested to see how SB Nation bloggers voted in their own top 25? Didn’t think so. But if so, SB Nation’s Brian Cook makes sense of it.

• UCLA bloggers have raised a fair amount of money for little Bruin fan battling cancer. They’re still looking to raise more money, so if you have a few bucks laying around, help a young fan stay healthy enough to watch as much college football as possible.

• SB Nation’s Avinash Kunnath walks you through the Pac-10 race as it unfolds during the second half of the season. It’s a handy, simple guide to have, since so many of the national outlets can be so overwhelming and go into so much detail when discussing the Pac-10. Lay off, guys, ok?

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel takes a peek inside the mailbag and he ends up talking about Applebees apparently giving him stomach issues. I think we’re all happy that Stewart’s still alive, actually.

• SI.com wants you to submit questions for Washington QB Jake Locker. Feel free to use any of these:

1. How soft are Mel Kiper’s hands?

2. Kirk Herbstreit says you look really good in your uniform, is this weird for you to hear?

3. How long do you expect the transition to take once you switch to linebacker at the next level? (joke!) (maybe!)

4. Is there any truth to the rumor that you’re legally changing your name to “Jake Locker Overthrows Him”

5. How good are you at hitting a curveball?

• ESPN put in a bid to run Texas’s proposed new network. Man, can you imagine how much the Longhorns are going to be GRILLED with all those investigative journalists having all that access? Oowee!!

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden has now passed a concussion test. I never understood why so much weight is put on the SATs and ACTs when so many (not all) college football players take the easiest major and have a ton of tutoring. Why not just give them concussion tests pre-concussions while they’re still in high school? I’m yet to hear a good answer against this — mostly because I thought of this four seconds ago.

• Here’s every Florida offensive play from the 2010 season. It’s kind of boring and slightly depressing. Perfect!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a young man breaking his leg. In face paint. Jumping around awkwardly on a stage in front of thousands of people. It’s not graphic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkE2BTjYFGQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

Dan flies solo (what does this meeeeeean?) and lines up a fierce triple play of college football guests with Clay Travis from AOL Fanhouse, Brian Cook from MGoBlog.com, and friend of the show and House of Run podcast host “West Coast Kevin.”

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by USC alum Joe Francis. Yep, he went to USC. The University of Southern California. In Los Angeles. The Trojans. USC. Fight on.

*****

• Boise State beat up on Louisiana Tech last night, or as SEC fans recall, “Boise State pathetically scraped by Louisiana Tech.”

• Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon was arrested on a DUI complaint in Texas while driving home from Monday night’s Dallas Cowboys game, marking the first time Blackmon’s been caught from behind this season.

• Wounded: Wisconsin RT Josh Oglesby is out for the year after undergoing knee surgery, Penn State QB Robert Bolden is not expected to suit up against Michigan after he failed a concussion test, and because of a sore knee, Cincinnati QB Zach Collaros‘s status is still uncertain vs Syracuse.

• A convicted killer chose “Boomer Sooner” as his last words before his execution. While unusual, it was even more rare for the warden to respond with “Statue of Liberty!!”

• USC WR Markeith Ambles has been suspended indefinitely for repeated tardiness.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini is looking to shake up the team’s pregame routine. And thus, we bid farewell to Nebraska receivers dipping their hands in construction-grade cement an hour before kickoff.

• The EagleBank Bowl will now be known as The Military Bowl. I apologize for throwing a wrench into what you thought would be a normal Wednesday.

• SI.com‘s Andy Staples issues power rankings. And firmly believes his presence affects the outcome of games. Looks like all the Solid Verbal appearances may finally be going to his head.

• Oregon will probably be wearing silver cleats at USC on Saturday. And for those keeping score, I’ll be the one in the Coliseum crowd secretly and inexplicably gushing over them. I’m weird.

• A Notre Dame student wants the student body to storm the field after the Irish lose to Utah to celebrate the worst senior class in the school’s history. This is even bumming me out. Ok, but not totally.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel is noticing that top high school football players are going to a wider variety of schools. Death to traditional powers! Death to exclamation points.

• Deadspin got ahold of the secret instructions Washington State fans pass around when sending each other the giant Cougar flag that’s waved in every Gameday long shot. NERDS!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is people doing awesome things. Because people are awesome. I know because the title says so.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo0Cazxj_yc

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Regis Philbin, who, in rooting for Notre Dame Saturday, is unequivocally anti-United States Navy. But probably for stomach-stomping. That rascal.

*****

• Tennessee coach Derek Dooley compared his team to the Germans in World War II. Improperly.

• Notre Dame lost to Navy on Saturday, but only if cheap stomach-stomps aren’t worth 20 points apiece.

• Michigan State CB Chris Rucker drove recklessly, which violated his probation, and landed him in the clink for about a week. You’ll notice a particularly witty line in the linked story about his “new teammates at Ingham County Jail.” It should be noted that those serving time alongside Rucker are not actual “teammates,” but rather, other randomly incarcerated people. Hope that’s now clear.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer isn’t too pleased with much these days, and that includes Gator practices.

• Texas A&M QB Jerrod Johnson may be close to losing his job to backup Ryan Tannehill. I get the feeling that a bunch of guys in camo are shrugging and find this to be reasonable.

• UCLA suspended two more players for violating team rules. I assume in this case that means they’ve been consistently blocking well and running crisp routes.

• Michigan QB Denard Robinson should be good to go against Penn State on Saturday. Unfortunately for Michigan, it’s no longer a month that ends in “-tember.”

• With Matt Simms hobbled by a sore knee, true freshman Tyler Bray has been taking the majority of practice snaps for Tennessee. Derek Dooley looked at it as being very similar to when the Mongols invaded Helsinki. Or something.

• CBS Sports’s Dr. Jerry Palm says Boise State should probably get used to the waiting game. But that’s the hardest part, Jerry. The hardest part.

• Fox Sports’s Peter Schrager says Texas and Cal are examples of how “crazy” this season has been. Except that Cal has been dancing on the fence that separates “wildly inconsistent” and “just kinda bad” for years now. Beating below-average teams at home and losing to decent ones on the road isn’t confounding.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans calls in on the ThayerLine to recap the weekend action. And because it’s Fox Sports, there’s cleavage, Tom Arnold, and penis jokes. Or so I’m assuming.

• How deep does SB Nation’s Spencer Hall roll? Try 26 deep in this week’s Alphabetical.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) and SI.com’s Cory McCartney debate the pros and cons of various free trade regulations. Ok, just kidding, they mostly repeat themselves (and each other) while discussing the Heisman on their respective sites.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day looks at how neat nature truly is. Really, it’s Neature.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm3JodBR-vs

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan make their picks for Week 8 and discuss the Pac-12 division decision, the new Rose Bowl sponsor, and the notion of taking an automatic weapon into a crowded stadium (instead of buying a ticket).  Plus, Verballer e-mails.

Ty and Dan review all the Week Six action and break down the losses by Alabama, Arizona and Michigan as well as the wins by LSU, Auburn and Oregon.  Plus, another rousing rendition of Saturday ReVerbs.

Today’s Click Chorus is brought to you by Leslie Knope, Deputy Parks Director for the city of Pawnee, Indiana. It’s Thursday and I miss Parks and Rec. And Ron Swanson. And Mouse Rat. And sweet, sweet April Ludgate. At least there’s (possible) quality Big 12 quality football to be had. Sighhhhh.

*****

• Since Ty and I record on Sundays and Thursdays, we should (operative word) preview the Thursday game on Sundays. We always forget. So here’s my Nebraska/Kansas State preview: Kansas State covers +11. Thursday night games on the road are tough, and is good as Taylor Martinez is/will be, Kansas State should, to some extent, be able to control the clock. It’ll be fairly low-scoring and Nebraska will win close. And Oregon transfer Chris Harper continues his torrid receiving pace by catching a ball. A ball.

• Michigan runs a lot, and they do it with their QB, ol’ what’s-his-name. Now here are 11,000 words on that by mgoblog.

• BYU head coach Bronco Mendenhall will take over the defense, following the termination of defensive coordinator Jaime Hill. I’m still all-in on budding All-Rubenstein RB Ronnie Hillman of San Diego State in two days. Future Bernard Pierce!

• The fellers at Rocky Top Talk explain the 3-4 defense. It was almost as good as the time they went over basic scheme differences and responsibilities on College Football Live, except that CFL never even dares to go this far into relevancy.

• ESPN‘s bloggers tell you what to watch this weekend and make their game predictions. There’s also a pretty intriguing video of the Big 10′s Adam Rittenburg c-walk battling the ACC’s Heather Dinich. Word.

• With Colorado playing Mizzou this week, ESPN has a feature on the twentieth anniversary of the fifth down. Slightly off-topic: I don’t miss the scads of belly buttons college football had to offer in the early 90s. Blech.

• Illinois defensive coordinator Vic Koenning reviews the progress of the 2010 Illini defense. Or as they’ll be known after getting Penn State’s offense on Saturday, the 1985 Chicago Bears.

• The first BCS Rankings will be released on Sunday. Which means the Harris poll is also making its 2010 debut. This, of course, makes Sunday the worst day of the college football season.

• Alabama coach Nick Saban got pissy when reporters asked him about his pre-season agent-pimp remarks, now that John Blake, a now former assistant coach, is an alleged pimp broker. And nobody stuttered.

• New Mexico State hasn’t won any games, and now the student population is looking to abstain from giving the Aggies what they really want -- sweet, sweet Aggie intercourse. What happens in Las Cruces, well, gets reported on by SportsbyBrooks.

• LSU will win the national championship. Spencer Hall’s soul has been compromised.

• Iowa defensive coordinator Norm Parker had his right foot amputated due to complications from Diabetes. Well wishes, speedy recovery, and hopes of continued badassery out of Iowa City, etc.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney profiles Nevada QB Colin Kaepernick, a simple baseball player running the pistol offense to near-perfection. I’m Tom Rinaldi, EEEESSSSPPPNNNNNNN.

• Penn State may use more of backup QB Kevin Newsome to help jumpstart their offense. Another useful tool to help jumpstart the offense? An offense.

• Florida State’s defense is improving. I think. Probably.

Today’s Video of the Day is ThunderBusters, which appears to be either a mashup of AC/DC and Ghostbusters. Or I’m tripping balls right now and this is all in my head. Is this real life?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiH1wNmZTII

Enjoy your Thursday.

As part of SolidVerbal.com’s continued efforts to infuse your life with an obscene amount of college football randomness, we are pleased to introduce the Thursday Proverbs, a new spot with no format or function, but plenty of room to explore the studio space. Mainly because the Solid Verbal Allentown studio is my old bedroom.

There’s an enormously popular song on the radio right now with Rihanna and Eminem. In it, Rihanna sticks to her standard boilerplate of singing a quick verse in exchange for, presumably, eleventy billion dollars. In the same song, Eminem also threatens to tie a woman to a bed and set a house on fire, which, for Eminem, feels about right. As far as I can tell, this song brings nothing new to the table. But they won’t stop playing it.

In college football, THAT song is Denard Robinson.  Metaphorically-speaking, of course.  The burning house is located in Chapel Hill.

It seems like we find ourselves in the same position every year.  There is always an overplayed storyline in the world of college sports, and here at The Solid Verbal, we couldn’t help but fall victim to it in 2010.  Last Thursday’s show was even titled in Denard’s honor.  But when a guy has over 1,900 total yards in only five games, we almost have no choice.

Regardless, the question remains: Just how good is Denard Robinson?  There seems to be plenty of debate among Verballers…

Regardless of where you stand, Robinson has been historically impressive thus far.  And while Mr. Robinson hasn’t exactly been playing against the ’85 Bears, it seems most telling that he’s maintained the same level of dominance every time he’s been on the field.  This isn’t debatable.  The only other player in the country about whom we can say the same might be Oregon’s LaMichael James.  Even preseason Heisman frontrunners like Terrelle Pryor and Ryan Mallett have had hiccups thus far.

Of course, this will all become irrelevant when Robinson snaps a leg… not from a gruesome hit, mind you, but from general atrophy, in Week 10.  Sooner or later, you’d have to assume it’ll happen.  Part of the intrigue about “Shoelace” is how Rich Rodriguez uses him, which bears a striking resemblance  to the way most people used QB Eagles in Tecmo Super Bowl.  He’s putting up video game numbers mainly because he’s being used like a video game superstar.  Unfortunately for Rich Rod, injuries in real-life don’t have a setting you can toggle and the difficulty level won’t stay on “varsity” all season long.

Saturday’s contest against in-state rival Michigan State should serve as a helpful barometer for gauging just how good Denard and his team really are.

Raucous E-mails We Won’t Have Time to Read

From Inge in North Carolina:

Hey guys, I am a big Finebaum listener on iTunes and was randomly
looking around for other college football podcasts. I saw The Solid
verbal on the podcast “menu” and decided to download ya’ll and give it
a shot. To my surprise, I loved your show. Both my parents are
graduates of the University of Alabama. I actually went to Auburn. So
Ty, I understand your Penn State/Notre Dame thing as I am and always
have been a huge Alabama fan despite attending Auburn. You guys keep
up the great work, as I am very “picky” about sports talk I listen to,
and your show is great. I would really appreciate one or both of you
e-mailing me back just to let me know this message got to the right
place. You have a “lifetime” listener in myself and I would love to
somehow be interactive with your show as a “voice in the South”. I
look forward to hearing back from you soon and KUDOS on the show.

Yes indeed, Inge, your message arrived at the proper inbox thanks to the wonders of our now-functional contact form on SolidVerbal.com, which had previously been shut down by crazy, spam-wielding Nigerians looking for Dan Beebe’s mysterious source of money.  And believe me, it’s to our surprise as well that you enjoyed our show, because, well, we usually make at least one gratuitous porn reference each episode.  So, thank you for your support.  But, we do need to talk.  Paul Finebaum is our unspoken enemy, even though he has never wronged us and, by all accounts, is wildly successful.  Listening to both is like rooting for both Batman and The Joker.  Therefore, the only solution is to bring you on-board as our official representation to the Finebaum Show.  You already know the vernacular.  You already know the nuances.  This already has an Avatar-like feel to it, except we can’t guarantee you $100 million for your services.  LET US KNOW.

From SilverBritches Stephen at the University of Georgia:

You were looking for possible names for your new segment where callers leave you voice mails during the games they are watching.  I would like to put forth the following nomination:

Verbal Vomit

It ties into you’re name, as well as alluding to the notion that callers are likely going to be highly emotional when they call in and spew forth whatever they are feeling at the moment.  On the downside… it’s a bit disgusting.  But really, that’s nothing when you realize we’re talking about a sport where Georgia loses to Colorado- THAT is truly disgusting.

Aside of the fact that this name is abhorrently wrong, I regret to inform you that the rights to this name are already owned by every Joe Kines interview ever.  Thanks anyway…

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkNT28g6YBU

From Jason in Seattle:

When does one know one pays too much attention to college football?  For instance, when you walk out of your local hardware store on Saturday morning thinking “man the hardware store kid looks a lot like Andrew Luck” -- have things gotten out of hand?

Good news: you’re still well within the “normal” range for an adult male.  In fact, on a one-to-five scale (five being the worst), your hardware store stunt is about a two.  For your reference, I’ve included a quick reference chart with some quick examples:

On This Day In Solid Verbal History…

Well… two years ago around this day in Solid Verbal history, Dan and I embarked on something our infamous Solid Verbal Combine, a five-event video series that we conducted after reached something called the “Phil Steele Threshold,” which was really just a catchy nickname for “40 subscribers to the podcast.”  (Eventually, we did get Phil Steele on the program, despite our continued jokes pitting him against adult film icon Lex Steele.)

The first athletic contest was a 40-yard dash:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE10rrw_f8I

To this day, I contest the results of this race.  Not only was I running in sub-freezing temperatures at the time, but I was also forced to re-run the dash several times due to camera malfunctions.  The video clip at the end of me standing by a tree conveniently cuts off before I burst into a episode of dry heaves.  One day, we’re going to re-run this race.

Verballer Spotlight

A few friends of the program you should check out:

• House of Run -- Speaking of running… West Coast Kevin started a podcast about that very subject, and is in the process of building a healthy following.
• Top Cheddar -- Jamie, the author of the site, is not only a huge supporter of The Solid Verbal, but also the owner of a brand spankin’ new Solid Verbal Shirt.
• Track the Bet - “Chris the Capper,” a new addition to our Thursday episodes is the owner and operator of this site, which, yes, tracks your bets.  I haven’t been entering my picks into this system since ignorance is bliss when it comes to poor game analysis.

We’ll refine this spot over the coming weeks, so keep checking back.  In the meantime, thanks for your continued support and feel free to get in touch either by e-mail or by dialing 206-338-1784.

Ty and Dan review all the Week Five action and talk about another fabulous performance by Denard Robinson.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncNs6DBJ58Y

This week, Ty and Dan make up their own random prop bets and, in doing so, simultaneously provide a limited amount of useful analysis and revolutionize modern web entertainment as we know it. Enjoy!

Ty and Dan plow through voice messages and emails before previewing the first slate of October games in the 2010 college football season.

Ty and Dan replay all the Week Four action, including impressive wins by SEC teams, letdown showings by the Big 12, and the dawning of a special new Big Ten tradition.

Ty and Dan make their picks for all the Week Four action and discuss Vegas as a possible location for a Pac-12 title game, suspicious BCS finances, and a host of Verballer messages.

Ty and Dan talk about a wild evening slate of Week 3 games and dissect all the other action from Saturday.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FrQLvw0giw

At some point, these will be posted in a more timely manner, but hey, they’re free. This week, as always, I look at last weekend’s action, clown around a bit, and record at too high a resolution for my computer to handle. You just wait until 2013 when I get this all figured out!

Ty and Dan walk through all the action from Week Two, including the one-day collapse of the ACC, Oklahoma’s barnstorming of Florida State, and curious movies featuring Barn Owls.

Ty and Dan talk about Tennessee showering seminars, their “Heisman Bust” movie idea, and the big games headed into a monster weekend of college football. Plus, e-mails and a voicemail poking fun at Tom Hammond.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Jennifer Aniston, whose father attended Penn State. I have no idea if he cares about the Alabama game, but hey look, there’s Jennifer Aniston! Also, his real name is Yannis Anastassakis, so that’s kinda cool. Go State!

*****

• Tennessee coach Derek Dooley is appalled by his team’s lack of “shower discipline.” Why hasn’t anyone reached out to Bill O’Reilly for a quote? ALWAYS LOOFAH!!!!

• ESPN‘s team of CFB bloggers (including SVBFF Ted Miller) tell you what to look for in this week’s matchups. Surprisingly, none of the writers mentioned “a shocking amount of full-frontal nudity.” I think I just find the phrase “full frontal nudity” to be always funny. Let’s move on.

• The Wiz, aka Jay Christiansen, aka Big Daddy Knowledge Bombs, interviewed ESPN analyst Desmond Howard. Howard had some pretty strong and well-researched opinions about the current state of international free trade agreements and the ongoing tensions between North and South Korea.

• North Dakota State beat Kansas in Lawrence, KS. ND St coach Craig Bohl then turned around and said he was concerned about his team playing in its first hostile environment of the season. At Northern Iowa. Awesome. (via EDSBS)

• Alabama RB Mark Ingram won’t play on Saturday against Penn State – he’s either got too much work left in the lab on a biochemical engineering project, or his knee still hurts. One of the two.

• SI published a column from Jeff Benedict, a Southern Virginia english professor, examining the recent uptick in crimes committed by college football players. While he did next to no research about the LaMichael James case, he also doesn’t make many points other than “crimes are bad” and “football players should be punished.” Soooooo there’s that.

• Vince Young‘s mom is not interested in her son receiving Reggie Bush’s Heisman. She also wants everyone to “leave Reggie Bush alone.” And Britney too – leave her alooooooone!!

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd writes about Penn State QB Robert Bolden‘s uncle – a diehard Alabama fan. I’m sure you see where this is going.

• No city watched the Boise State/Virginia Tech game more than Birmingham, AL. And nobody does it better. Ladies and gentlemen, Carly Simon!

Note: I’m in a weird mood today.

• Terrelle Pryor is telling Ohio State fans to avoid booing LeBron James at Saturday’s Miami game. Dan Rubenstein is telling them not to listen to Terrelle Pryor.

• SI’s Andy Staples and Fanhouse’s Clay Travis both wrote about the AJ Green jersey situation. And how it all makes perfect sense.

Today’s Video of the Day, for no real reason, is Vanilla Ice and “Go Ninja Go” from TMNT 2. You’re welcome.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Ty and Dan announce the details of their affiliation with theScore Radio, channel 98 on Sirius radio, and delve into all the week’s action with Fanhouse’s Clay Travis.

Ty and Dan delve into the week’s headlines, voice messages, e-mails, and, at long last, previews for the first week of the 2010 college football season!

Ty and Dan put together a pair of interviews with SI.com’s Stewart Mandel and USCFootball.com’s Ryan Abraham. Plus, news about the new website, the pick’em pool, and of course the Solid Verbal t-shirt sale!

Ty and Dan mix it up on the final Thursday before the start of the 2010 season by talking about NBC’s Notre Dame coverage, the increasing turmoil in Chapel Hill and the stigma of team logo tattoos.  Plus, your voice messages, emails, and info on how to order the t-shirt!

Ty and Dan talk with Teddy Greenstein of the Chicago Tribune about his frenetic week of expansion reporting, the Big Ten’s ultimate decision to add Nebraska, the future divisions of the conference, and the timeless “stine” vs. “steen” debate.

Ty and Dan dive into an overflowing inbox and discuss 7-on-7 football, why Mitch Mustain should transfer, and the approximate number of 15-year olds a grown man could simultaneously defeat before being overwhelmed and crushed.

Ty and Dan sift through a massive amount of listener feedback, delving into Tommy Tuberville’s comments on the Big 12, team affiliations, fantasy college football, and, of course, Russian spies.  Plus, with only two months until college football kicks off… it’s officially the preseason!

Ty and Dan grasp for college football news with feverish conference expansion talk seemingly in the past.  E-mails, voice messages and piling on Lane Kiffin.

Ty and Dan welcome back Sports Illustrated’s Stewart Mandel to discuss the post-Tebow SEC, the crazy ACC Coastal Division, the quarterbacks of the Big East, the Lost finale, and the next step for The Mandel Initiative.