Ty and Dan run through all the action from Conference Championship Week, break down the looming rematch between LSU and Alabama, take a quick glance at their favorite bowl match-ups, and debate another rousing rendition of the Dr. Pepper halftime throwing contest.  Plus, your Week 14 Reverbs.

Ty and Dan recap the so-called “Game of the Century” between LSU and Alabama and wonder whether other television options might’ve been a better choice. Plus, thoughts on the other Week 10 action and more listener voice messages.

Ty and Dan debate the true definition of “Clemsoning,” break down the laser arm of Andrew Luck, and discuss all the Week 9 action.

Ty and Dan talk with Dan Wetzel from Yahoo! Sports about BCS doomsday scenarios, Fiesta Bowl debauchery, Bill Hancock, Andrew Luck, and the Fake Dan Beebe.

Ty and Dan rehash college football’s eighth week and discuss Kirk Cousins’ Hail Mary, James Franklin’s casual dress Saturday, Clemson’s chances of going unbeaten, and Nick Foles… in a winning effort!

Ty and Dan talk with Spencer Hall about Will Muschamp’s early marks, LSU-Alabama, the Big Ten, “We” Bombs, and a college football version of The Truman Show.  Plus, picks for all the big action during Week Eight.

Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Ty and Dan welcome Bruce Feldman back to the show to discuss Clemson’s ceiling, the looming LSU-Alabama showdown, Urban Meyer-to-Penn State rumors, the misunderstood Mike Gundy, and a host of other hot topics in college football.  Plus, your e-mails and voice messages, and a Week 7 Preview.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Ty Hildenbrandt and Dan Rubenstein take a closer look at impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, poke fun at Texas A&M’s pass defense, and devise a diabolical scheme to fix South Carolina’s quarterback problem. Plus, another batch of listener Reverbs and another tale of Nick Foles’ performance… in a losing effort, of course.

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan talk about Texas A&M’s move to the SEC, Mark Richt’s hot seat, poor sportsmanship, and all the important action ahead in the second week of the season.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Christine Taylor, Allentown PA native. She’s also, by my count, the only person to ever appear in “Hey Dude,” “Zoolander,” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Amazing.

*****

• Texas A&M is going to the SEC, just as long as the Big 12 doesn’t get too lawsuit-happy (which they probably are).

• The HATERZ still doubt Boise State, says CBS’s Dennis Dodd.

• Tommy Rees is officially your new starting Notre Dame QB.

• Starting Oklahoma State S Johnny Thomas is ineligible for the 2011 season.

• Four suspended Ohio State players are back. FINALLY.

• Florida didn’t show much against Florida Atlantic. Well, yeah.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff says Mississippi State can’t get too excited about Auburn’s run D. Ok, it can get a little excited.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has a B1G stock report. He’s quite impressed by what Penn State did against Indiana State. Somebody has to be.

• Texas has young RBs who may or may not get stonewalled by older men on Saturday vs BYU.

• The Marshall Lobbestael era (six or so weeks worth) begins (again) for Washington State. Woo.

• Georgia‘s probably in on the spread offense.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples compares college football teams to TV shows. Or something, I’m lost.

• The Wiz has the best screengrabs of the week. This is quietly one of my favorite things about college football every year.

• USC RB Marc Tyler is back and he now has a shiny new merit badge for silence.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter and family are probably unhappy with Lane Kiffin.

• Oklahoma RB Jonathan MIller is done with Norman. Done.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Louis CK talking about George Carlin. Kind of perfect.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R37zkizucPU

Enjoy your Wednesday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vassar attendee Anthony Bourdain. If you haven’t seen this week’s No Reservations in Cajun country, you must hate food. Or have other, more interesting things to do with your time.

*****

• Texas A&M will apply to leave the Big 12. Hurray.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd likes Oklahoma as a wire-to-wire #1 team. Or he just needed to write a column.

• Eight Miami players have been suspended for the season opener at Maryland. Guess Jacory Harris‘s confidence will have to wait another week.

• Oklahoma State is down two players for their opener Saturday. They’ll be fine.

• Joe Bauserman is your new Ohio State starting QB. It’s the sort of news that makes you gently nod your head and quietly say, “That’s reasonable” to yourself.

• SmartFootball’s Chris Brown breaks down the “inverted veer/dash read.” You may have seen it run by such undefeated teams as TCU and Auburn. Good enough.

• ESPN has “Sweet Beginnings,” which is either a series of profiles about new players and coaches, or an uncomfortable foray into graphic stories of passion.

• UCLA will play two QBs against Houston. It’s just what they do.

• Wondering about B1G Leaders? Wonder no more.

• Ditto Legends.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples talks Jarrett Lee.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel works overtime.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is John Kransinski and Alec Baldwin and their tomfoolery. Worth it for 9-1-2.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EUTEPFq5iQ

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan preview the Big 12 with David Ubben from ESPN.com and talk about the injury to Oklahoma’s Travis Lewis, new coaches at Texas, confidence in Mike Sherman, his alma mater, Missouri, and much much more.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college person Marisa Miller, who appears on Camera Guy Dave’s show, The Daily Habit. He’s now Producer Dave. Take pity on him.

*****

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno suffered shoulder and hip injuries after being run over during practice yesterday. Not cool, WR just doing his job like he’s supposed to, not cool.

• SI.com dares to go inside the private world of Urban Meyer. It appears there are more smiles (and mustaches) there than in the Urban Meyer public world.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has UCLA practice notes. Mine will be coming out here shortly. His are far more informative.

• Texas S Christian Scott was arrested for misdemeanor assault. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. (etc)

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Texas and comes to the conclusion that he has no idea what to think. Perfect.

• Upcoming guest and ESPN Big 12 blogger David Ubben ranks conference LBs.

• He then breaks down Big 12 QB competition, which isn’t the same now that Kansas’s Kale Pick is now a WR. RIP Most Unfortunate Last Name for a QB.

• The Pac-12 only has one QB battle (UCLA). “Battle” may be too strong a word for anything happening in Westwood right now.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff does the same in the SEC. DRAMA.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel and Andy Staples have ten reasons to be excited about college football. Number 11? Staples/Mandel collabo column. Duh.

• ESPN has interviews with conference commissioners. They’re as exciting as you think they are.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s Rob Moseley has an Oregon practice update.

• Georgia LB Jarvis Jones has been cleared by the NCAA.

• It’s SEC Week in DrSaturdayville. Read, absorb, learn.

• Nebraska has a WR/QB. I’m officially calling the position a “Qwibber” (QWBR).

• Rivals previews the Pokes. Yee-haw.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is world record parallel parking. Yes, that exists.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeFNunnYiKY

Enjoy your Tuesday. Fashion!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brooklyn Decker, anonymous North Carolina fan and actress(ish) in a new movie called Battleship. Based on Battleship the board game. I blame everyone but her for how horrible it’ll be.

*****

• Butch Davis is out at North Carolina. Not totally unexpected, but the timing is such that UNC must REALLY not want anything to do with him. Interesting.

SI.com’s Andy Staples has questions. Such a sleuth.

Was it the whole cheating thing? Maybe?

ESPN’s Heather Dinich reviews possible UNC interim candidates.

• Gunner Kiel, the nation’s unanimous #1 HS QB prospect chose … Indiana. How many times do you think IU coach Kevin Wilson used the word “Bradford” during conversations? 71,000? 73,000?

• The Pac-12 Network was expected. We got Pac-12 NetworkS. In a year, you won’t be able to avoid Jeff Tedford‘s face. So, yeah.

• Oklahoma State has new uniforms. The gray lids have a fan in me.

• When Oregon WR coach Scott Frost leaves Eugene for Nebraska (or whoever gives him an OC job), they’ll be worse off.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has Pac-12 media day notes. I learned that Washington‘s large people are dented.

• ESPN’s David Ubben does the same with the Big 12. Iowa State appears to be tapping the breaks on the whole “tough non-conference schedule” thing.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff profiles Vanderbilt QB Larry Smith, currently Nashville’s most sacked college QB!

• The new voice of FIU football is … former CNN anchor Rick Sanchez? Okeedoke.

• Clay Travis says air conditioning is responsible for Florida sports dominance. Not to be outdone, it’s also responsible for some of my most dominant naps.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Missouri. Don’t tell anyone, but they’re defense has gotten, at times, scary good.

• Thought you knew the rules? Good, now forget everything — SI.com’s Andy Staples has you covered.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it and suggests that Washington could be better sans Jake Locker, something I’ve been saying for at least 10-15 minutes.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday goes green and previews Michigan State. Because they wear green. Brilliant.

• They’re also seeing red as they preview Nebraska. God, I’m so on today.

• Georgia LB (and USC transfer) Jarvis Jones will miss the 2011 season with a shoulder injury.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the next sports to take the world by storm — I call it kicky jumpy mini-volleyball, or KJMV. Sign up now!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ljb6Mne8Mfc

Enjoy your Thursday. Thread up.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Missouri State (then SW Missouri St) attendee, just-announced Community actor, and all-around good thespian John Goodman.

*****

• Big 12 Media Day was full of Longhorn Network fun.

• Former Alabama WR Julio Jones was a man of many suits, just like we all were in college. No big deal.

• South Carolina QB coach G.A. Mangus really had to go. Like REALLY.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy looks ahead to September 17, the ACC‘s day of reckoning. Dun dun DUN.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner updates the Pac-12′s search for a network partner. Let’s assume for now that The Solid Verbal is out of the running.

• The NCAA will hold a summit to talk about proprietary TV networks. Probably a good idea.

• CBS Sports has a new feature called Rapid Reports with quick breaking news for the bigger CFB programs. And Maryland. (press cmnd-D shortly)

• To those that said ESPN being involved in the Longhorn Network would affect their own Texas coverage… you have a point (via EDSBS).

• Missouri coach Gary Pinkel isn’t a fan of the Longhorn Network.

• Take a look at Texas DC Manny Diaz’s defense. He’s crafty.

• Texas coach Mack Brown talks about protecting QBs. He ends up saying very little.

• ESPN has choice Big 12 Media Day quotes and storylines. Also, OSU coach Mike Gundy‘s hair looks darker.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich has a Day 2 ACC media day notebook. Punting is somehow involved.

• Boston College coach Frank Spaziani talks the ‘stache. He’s the best.

• Unofficial preseason B1G polls are out. Gobble ‘em up!

• ESPNU’s Tom Luginbill has recruit summaries from something called “Gridiron Kings.”

• Is Clemson coach Dabo Swinney already running out of time? Perhaps, says Fox Sports South’s Andrew Jones.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly doesn’t have a preview today. But if he did, it’d be South Carolina. I’m such a prankster.

• Paralyzed Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand is awesome.

• It’s B1G Week for Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday. Go get yourself some learnin’.

• Michigan’s too good for non-Notre Dame non-conference road trips. Not everyone can be men.

• Former top Miami S recruit Latwan Anderson will be making his way to Cincinnati.

• Rivals previews BYU. Fact: If you read all of the previews Rivals and Dr. Saturday do, you’re somewhere between 10-15x more informed than almost everyone on TV. Do it!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is my favorite scene from The Big Lebowski (N-S-F-W). Sometimes, I just need it. Happy Birthday, Keeerrrttt1!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPo9OBrIOi4

Enjoy your Tuesday. Get flossy.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Mike Leach about his new book, the circumstances that led to his firing at Texas Tech, his thoughts on Craig James, ESPN and Bruce Feldman, his future coaching ambitions, and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Miami attendee and Curb You Enthusiasm mainstay Jeff Garlin. Here’s to hoping that, at one point, Garlin yelled out, “IT’S ALL ABOUT DA U!”

*****

• Former Georgia coach Jim Donnan is accused of profiting off of a Ponzi scheme. I, I, I just have nothing.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy thinks that if USF is FOR REALZ about succeeding in college football they need to leave Raymond James Stadium. For. Ev. Er.

• Everybody, this is Russell Wilson … Russell, this is everybody. Hurray!

• Is Cal coach Jeff Tedford going and making things so complicated? Maybe?

• Today’s July 18th, which means two things — 1. It’s Vin Diesel‘s birthday, and 2. B1G specialist rankings ARE OUT.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller reviews Pac-12 linebackers. We’re all grateful he led off with ASU MLB Vontaze Burfict, not only because it’s deserved, but also because the safety of Ted’s family was probably at stake.

• Former Georgia Tech C Sean Bedford wrote an open letter to the NCAA that ended with him saying they could pry his 1999 ACC championship ring from his “cold, dead finger.” Well okay then!

• Years after Larry Coker allegedly only used Rivals to recruit, he’s bringing college football to San Antonio.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Oklahoma State. There’s a pretty good chance new OC Todd Monken is taking notes.

• Former Michigan WR Desmond Howard led a new class into the College Football Hall of Fame. Humbly.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel profiles Michigan coach Brady Hoke.

• As per my understanding of photography and art, Wyoming will be wearing giant, oversized helmets this fall.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has a very specific set of WAC predictions.

• Georgia‘s loading up on touted recruits. Probably wise.

• Rivals profiles first-year starting QBs who could maybe (potentially) win some games.

• UCLA is getting Vanderbilt CB Jamie Graham, which is pretty much the final puzzle piece for the Bruins.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is what happens when water jet packs don’t, um, jet.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=he2a4xK8ctk

Enjoy your Monday. Today’s Solid Verbal Apparel Day!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Bryan Cranston, LA Valley College attendee and star of Breaking Bad, which I’m about to start (and probably be insufferable about).

*****

• ESPN’s Pat Forde asks: “Why can’t I write a column about pay-for-play?”

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy goes to Provo and profiles BYU and their independence. His hair appears to be short enough to be welcomed by the locals.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday projects CUSA, which is a lot easier to write than “Conference USA.” Consider that your introduction to “CUSA.”

• Miami coach Al Golden is getting a lot of “yes” on the recruiting trail.

• West Virginia apparently frowns on the whole armed robbery thing. Prudes.

• ESPN continues to look ahead to impact games, including ones in early December. I imagine these previews will hold up perfectly.

• “Michigan AD Dave Brandon Talks Branding.” OF COURSE HE DOES IT’S IN HIS NAME.

• ESPN previews Pac-12 DEs. It all comes down to the good, the bad, and the Arizona.

• Silas Redd is a running back for Penn State. That’s what I learned.

• The Big East has special teams. That have special teams.

• Who’re the best corners in the B1G? I don’t know, but if you take away that apostrophe in the first word of the question, it becomes funnier and less sensical.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews a Shaky-less Utah. Just isn’t the same anymore.

• Ohio State fans definitely aren’t crazy.

• Rivals previews Iowa. Y’heard it hear first: this is QB James Van Der Beek‘s time.

• South Carolina WR Bryce Sherman takes to the Twitter to announce that he’s GONE. Well, he’s staying, but gone from the team. Something like that.

• Oklahoma State will unveil new uniforms in a couple weeks that will include any number of combinations. Where have I heard this story before?

• South Carolina has new uniforms. I think.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Deadspin editor AJ Daulerio trying to replicate Dock Ellis’s acid-fueled no hitter. It’s a bit NSFW.

Enjoy your Wednesday. The store!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan join back up and chat about Russell Wilson’s transfer to Wisconsin, Oregon’s shady situation, the veteran leadership of Stephen Garcia, and the beautiful irony of Chris Hansen.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kentucky alum and superfan, Ashley Judd, who is probably paying part of John Calipari’s eventually-vacated contract extension.

*****

• Two Georgia players are now on the (in)eligibility radar. I pasted that from an earlier item.

• In dealing with NCAA inquiries, Oregon has retained the services of a law firm and attorney that writers themselves call “The Cleaner.”

• UNC released the names of the players who accrued the hundreds of parking tickets. Former WR Greg Little “had 93 tickets on multiple vehicles with nine different license plates.” Prolific.

• USF OL Danous Estenor heroically picks up cars. No big deal.

• Former NC St QB Russell Wilson will announce his 2011 destination today. He will then appear on College Football Live. Adjust your schedule accordingly. Or don’t, whatever.

• ESPN’s Craig James appears to have become awfully political for an analyst not supposed to be publicly political.

• ESPN has Big East OL rankings, ACC OL rankings, and B1G OL rankings. Don’t blame me when conference OL rankings come up at a cocktail party and you have nothing to say.

• Something called “T-Woolf” will take the field for Michigan in a couple months. I warned you.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Michigan State while also conceding that the Spartans didn’t deserve to beat Alabama in the Capital One Bowl. Whew.

• Vanderbilt has sneakily begun the recruiting season in strong fashion. Do yo’ thang, Coach Hand. Do yo’ thang.

• Former Alabama RB Corey Grant will transfer to Auburn to be in Gus Malzahn’s spread system. Apparently, he thinks Gus Malzahn will be in Auburn next fall. Cute.

• Florida DE Chris Martin will once again transfer. Frequent flyer miles up the wazoo.

• Pitt will take on its 48th B1G transfer, this time it’s Wisconsin RB Zach Brown.

• How Oklahoma State got $165 million from T. Boone Pickens. I imagine one of the ways was a promise of absolutely no swift boats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the worst cat DJ ever. Pretty much a no-talent.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HA5WVjMBX8

Enjoy your Monday. Buy tees!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mary-Louise Parker, former North Carolina School of the Arts student. And Weeds star. And … I lost my train of thought. She probably doesn’t know about Butch Davis’s troubles, and I don’t care.

*****

• North Carolina pretty much broke every rule. Total bad boys of the ACC, for sure.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel thinks UNC coach Butch Davis will survive. Basically, he’s a T1000.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks to Oregon coach Chip Kelly about the Ducks‘ ongoing situation with the NCAA. Win the Dodd.

• ESPN ranks Big 12 WRs/TEs and then SEC DBs. Trust me, you can’t overstate how huge the DBs are in the south.

• ESPN then ranks Big 10 QBs. Michigan QB Denard Robinson is apparently the best they’ve got.

• Pitt officially welcomed Ohio State LB transfer Ejuan Price into their awaiting arms.

• Auburn got blung (past tense of a new verb).

• Football Study Hall cracks open the UNC door and notices that things got better as games went on. Also, things could potentially get much worse.

• New lesson: Always give Rick Ross credit in your tweets.

• Oklahoma St is building a $16 million practice facility. Psh, I bet they don’t even have an organic juice bar built in.

• Rivals talks to former Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez.

• Ohio State president Gordon Gee stood before a group of nuns and apologized for using “Little Sisters of the Poor” in vain. Whattaguy.

• UCLA OL Stan Hasiak is academically ineligible, which I believe brings him to seven strikes.

• LSU coach Les Miles pretty much owns an 8-foot basketball hoop. His young daughter stood no chance.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Tom Hanks doing an impromptu weather report. For Spanish-speaking TV.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeOG5tN-Hu8

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy MORE things.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by JJ Abrams, Sarah Lawrence alumnus and Super 8 director. And yes Sarah Lawrence actually has an equestrian team.

*****

• Former Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor and his lawyer have threatened legal action against ESPN for “bogus” reports. Guess what isn’t happening? Actual legal action.

• The photographer implicated as the person paying Pryor for memorabilia, Dennis Talbott, has denied any wrongdoing and any payment to Pryor. Hm, where should conventional wisdom fall here?

• Also, this Dennis Talbott fellow is alleged to have had a ginormous, unregistered Ohio State memorabilia business. Mmhmm.

• Jim Tressel‘s still on the hook for that 250k fine.

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart is reportedly being bought out as we speak. Damn, Holgorsen DOES move fast.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin will have a chat with the NCAA this weekend. Hopefully, for Kiffin’s sake, the NCAA promotes an atmosphere of tasty refreshments during these meetings.

• ESPN’s David Ubben reviews Big 12 Heisman contenders. I go all Justin Blackmon all the time here.

• ESPN Stats and Info break down the Heisman chances of QBs in their different QB groups. Here’s pro-style, spread, and dual threat.

• Fox Sports Detroit goes game by game with Michigan’s 2011 schedule.

• SI’s Don Banks speaks with NFL scouts about Terrelle Pryor’s NFL prospects. It’s not glowing.

• USC S Patrick Hall has torn an ACL for the second time and will miss the 2011 season.

• EA Sports held a demo for NCAA ’12 at E3. (Goosebumps)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is elephants going bonkers. Woah.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4Wmic8JapM

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Hugh Grant, Oxford graduate. He is awarded this honor because apparently, two important people are getting married in England this week. Also, Grant is foppish. I think somebody actually invented the word “foppish” to describe Grant.

*****

• Ohio State officially received its notice of allegations from the NCAA, who are total HATERZ.

• More Florida players favor herbal remedies. Oh and pot. Lots of pot.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini signed a new contract a few weeks ago. I was sworn to secrecy, but one major incentive includes provisions for a curved hat bill that surpasses all geometric laws.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi wasn’t exactly wowed by the passing display put on in Ohio State’s Pryor-less spring game. He was, however, smitten with Jim Tressel’s boots.

• Rich Rodriguez spoke to CBS Sports bloggers about various football and personal topics. I didn’t read everything, so I’ll just assume he accuses most of the Michigan athletic department of being furries.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with Wisconsin’s running backs. West Coast Kevin may be right in openly wondering why we’ve never seen Rittenberg’s legs. The smart money is on him as a hovering Big-10 blogger.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller very politely points out that UCLA wasn’t very good in its spring game Saturday night.

He also accidentally becomes half of the greatest college football video screengrab of all time while interviewing USC defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin.

• FoxSports’s Lisa Horne reviews USC’s spring game. She was impressed by the secondary, which had the ideal assignment of playing against USC’s passing game.

• Oregon has specific spring game uniforms that feature camouflage and military-type ribbons. I’m given credit for the picture, even though I’m always roughly 850 miles from the Oregon locker room at all times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at Texas A&M and wonders if the winning belief is strong in College Station. He also rips six east Texas BBQ shacks for having too many vinegar molecules in their sauce. Perfectionist, that Staples.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it up for the first time this spring. He doesn’t seem to be as in love with Oregon as others might be at this point, which clearly points to him being a HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden, the Danny Almonte of Big 12 QBs.

• A site has been created with the sole purpose of trying to get Cam Newton to take a lie detector test. Newton would in turn receive one million dollars for answer four questions related to his recruitment. Must be nice to have so much disposable income without the cares of perspective, rational behavior, or basic intelligence.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Our Idiot Brother.” Paul Rudd’s sweater makes me giggle.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oglpsxVjRY

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kate Upton because, damnit, she Dougies for Arash Markazi. And appears on Jimmy Traina’s podcast. And looks like Kate Upton.

*****

• Former Auburn OL Chaz Ramsey, who was interviewed on the HBO special about money and NCAA athletes, will speak to the NCAA about his allegations of under-the-table payments and ticket sales.

• After falling to 4th on the depth chart, Ole Miss QB Nathan Stanley will transfer. This makes it a perfect 10 players to leave Oxford since the end of 2010. I blame the Tom Kite Black Bear.

• The Big 12 has a new TV deal with Fox Sports worth a little over a billion (with a “b”) dollars to show all Big 12 sporting evens, including every football game that ESPN/ABC or school-operated channels won’t. To clarify, this even includes any Kansas/Iowa State matchups.

ESPN’s David Ubben reacts.

• Arizona State and Washington State have new uniforms. I’m grading Wazzu a bit higher on this one. Gray gets the nod.

• ESPN’s David Ubben visits Stillwater to get the straight poop on Oklahoma State. Pyongyang awaits your thoughts, sir.

• Northwestern and Notre Dame are going to play each other. They’ll fight over the Mandel-Hildenbrandt Cup.

• Kentucky QB Morgan Newton is once again starting. Let’s hope that sentence isn’t vacated.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg files notes from Ann Arbor. Like most of us, he’s captivated by QB Denard Robinson‘s effortless smile.

• How are things at QB in Berkeley? Good? Average? Uncomfortable? I have no idea.

• Want to know what USC QB Matt Barkley sees (other than possible rooftop shenanigans)? Fox Sports West straps on. A camera.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples profiles Keyshawn Johnson’s 7-on-7 team and training program, which definitely isn’t AAU football. Definitely not.

• You know that new Purdue Pete brought in to be less scary to the kiddies? Already done in West Lafayette.

• A former BYU professor explores Cougar athletes (mainly football players) and honor code violations.

• Rivals profiles Florida State QB EJ Manuel because it’s April and that’s what you do in April.

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden‘s mom has no idea where her son will be going to school this fall. Perhaps a phone call is in order.

• EDSBS has an updated Howard Schnellenberger Top 25. Suspenders are just CRUISING.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for Rise of The Planet of the Apes. Damn you James Franco!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqyKYrDta_E

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

We stumbled upon the very first North Korean broadcast of a college football game, and it happens to be the 2010 Oklahoma/Oklahoma State game. Don’t be alarmed by the censorship, propaganda, or production value … it’s still football!

(Note: The translation is literal and must be almost completely incorrect.)

Enjoy!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU alumnus and brief Social Network actress Rooney Mara, one of the more eligible ladies anyone will come across. And by that I mean STRAIGHT. CASH. HOMEY.

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd remains suspended from the team (pending unknown Chip/Brian Kellyian hurdles), but will be allowed to enroll in school this fall. About right.

• Rivals is now considered to be a “scouting service” under new NCAA bylaws, meaning coaches and programs can no longer subscribe to the “service.” And in a quieter story, Bill Plaschke is no longer considered to be “credible columnist,” so it’s a violation for any fan to read his work Noted.

• Purdue K Carson WIggs nailed a 67 yard FG in the spring game. All 738 attendees got quite a show.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks LSU’s patience in Jordan Jefferson is fleeting. In tough times, though, it’s always important to think of the innocent, affected interceptions. They didn’t do anything wrong.

• And the Valley Shook has thoughts on LSU’s spring game. They’re feeling something weird in their pants when they watch the Tiger DBs. Acceptable.

• ESPN’s David Ubben visits Stillwater and gets a lot of Weeden.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller dapperly speaks to Stanford coach David Shaw.

• Illinois is trying to find a few great linebackers. Ok, pretty good. Ok, decent. Ok, willing.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has Florida spring game notes. It’s even painful to read.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Iowa notes. Vandenberg ahoy!

• Georgia OT Trinton Sturdivant tore an ACL for the THIRD TIME. Awful.

• USC WR Markeith Ambles simply didn’t show up at Saturday practice. Check the roof!

• Tim Tebow has a statue in front of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. It’s going to be weird for everyone when his furry sex dungeon is exposed. Perhaps I’ve said too much. Rawr.

• Fox Sports Florida profiles probable starting Florida State DE Bjorn Werner, a large powerful German dude. Advantage Noles.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder goes old school and profiles Arkansas QB Tyler Wilson. This has “Excuse to go to some BBQ place in Arkansas” written all over it.

• Purdue changed up their mascot, Purdue Pete, almost entirely because they’re incredibly lame.

• Colorado QB Tyler Hansen had a solid spring game for Colorado. In Buffalo-ese, this is otherworldly.

• Rivals takes an early look at 2011 scheduling. DO NOT READ THIS, COACHES!

• Oklahoma WR Justin McCay self-reported an injury. The Sonner spring game line is now off the board.

• “UCLA football player” is the new Spinal Tap drummer.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an adjusted Miley Cyrus song with terrible lip reading (on purpose).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii5IUihNuno

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Harvard grad Paul Pfeiffer, the true star (along with his hamster, Wheezer) of The Wonder Years, now available on Netflix streaming. Boom.

*****

• Texas played their annual Orange and White game yesterday. I watched QB Garrett Gilbert throw a dumb pick, saw QB Case McCoy look decent, and then fell asleep. The Statesman and Burnt Orange Nation fill in the rest. ESPN has video.

Speaking of which, the new ESPN/Texas venture, The Longhorn Network, has a logo and a site. You won’t believe this, but they got Matthew McConaughey to record a short video promo. Presumably shirtless.

• Michigan and Notre Dame will be wearing throwback jerseys this year when they meet each other. I assume the uniform choice will be representative of better times for both programs. This could mean a decidedly 1996 look.

• Smart Football delves into the Dana Holgorsen madness. This time it’s West Virginia’s coach-in-waiting say it takes three days-ish to install a good offense. Ok then.

• The Big East held scrimmages this weekend. ESPN’s Brian Bennett has the “story.”

• Virginia held a spring game. ESPN’s Heather Dinich has a short breakdown of the game and an extensive one about the various wines and cheeses available outside.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno offers up some Penn State spring thoughts.

• LSU‘s QB depth stands thusly: Jefferson, Lee, Mettenberger.

• Fox Sports Arizona profiles ASU QB Brock Osweiler, a passer who has, so far, been best evaluated as “not as good as Steven Threet.” I’m quoting life.

• SI’s Jordan Conn profiles new Colorado coach Jon Embree. Apparently, Embree loves the process of building success and hates superfluous H’s.

• Rivals rates the five best assistant hires in each BCS conference. All the BUZZ is free!

• Central Arkansas sees your plain green turf or your trying-too-hard blue/red turf and raises you purple and gray stripes. Ca-ching.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is raw, dirty, public sax.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaoLU6zKaws

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan are joined by Jake Trotter from The Oklahoman to discuss Oklahoma as the preseason No. 1 team, the future of the Big 12, and annual Bob Stoops coaching rumors.  Plus, Verballer e-mails.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Cambridge alum Vin Diesel, who to his credit, has been in roughly 17 different-same movies, with another coming out next month.

*****

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel, you just got outed as allegedly having knowledge of your players selling memorabilia and misleading the NCAA, what are you going to do next? Hello? Jim?

Summary from The Columbus Dispatch’s Ken Gordon and Tim May.

SI.com’s Stewart Mandel reacts and predicts much more to come. And yes I know that sentence sounds.

• In the wake of a video intern’s death last season, Notre Dame has banned all hydraulic lifts from the football program.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck declared for the NFL draft after all.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel addresses pressing B1G Ten questions. Also featured on the page — Stewart and Andy Staples on video discussing the conference with music that can best be described as the soundtrack to a CSI autopsy. Yes!

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd finishes a story about 7on7 tournaments with the term “flesh-peddling.” This is probably all you need to know.

• Is Craig James as popular as he says he is in West Texas? EDSBS’s Spencer Hall says, “Eh, not so much.”

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett speaks with Syracuse coach Doug Marrone about, among other things, the perils of winning. This tells me Marrone is a good college football coach.

• ASU RB Deantre Lewis is expected to participate in spring practice after being shot in the arse a month ago. I think I’d still be in a fetal position if I were him.

• Rivals’s Olin Buchanon looks at key position situations for Oklahoma this spring. Olin up!

• Cincinnati coaches want to get their players in better shape to run a fast-paced offense. They then put (yep!) ESPN’s Brian Bennett through the rigors.

• Oklahoma State kicked off spring practice and new OC Todd Monken is all about learning. Good on him.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is former senator Alan Simpson proving that he is the oldest person alive. Not in age, just in being old.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZstxpTBqL0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by South Carolina native Vanna White. I can’t imagine she’s happy after Jadeveon Clowney chose the Gamecocks over her own Atlanta Institute of Fashion. Also, White is only the sixth Chorus sponsor to have both “lesbian affair” and knitting” in the same Wikipedia “Personal Life” section.

*****

• Prized DE recruit Jadeveon Clowney announced that he will be attending South Carolina (over Alabama or Clemson) this fall. And 5-7 other yet-to-be-determined recruits will be told they’ll be leaving on their own accord soon. Exciting times!

Oh, and there are eligibility questions.

Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at where this puts South Carolina.

Who wrote about Clowney committing to a sandwich? I’ll tell you who — Spencer Hall of EDSBS, that’s who! Oh ok, that makes sense.

• Arizona State RB Deantre Lewis was shot this past weekend, but apparently avoided any serious injury. That’s a pretty great second part of a sentence to write.

• The Pac-12 has hired former VP of Officiating for the NFL Mike Pereira to overhaul their officiating program. Pac-12 officiating blogs are collectively abuzz.

• 2010 was awful for Texas. Important people anonymously tell us what happened. And now there are MS Paint penises to show you the Longhorns’ offseason in detail. Of course there are.

• ESPN’s bloggers compile valentines to various teams from readers. I’m operating under the assumption that most of the Big East entries are written by made-up people.

Similarly, from the bloggers themselves, there are also valentines and  heartbreakers . Get it? HAHAHAHAH kinda.

• Seattle Seahawks secondary coach Jerry Gray signed with Texas in the same capacitiy for a bit, but has now left to become the DC for the Tennessee Titans. In response, recently-hired Arizona DB coach Duane Akina is going back to Texas to coach the secondary, the same position he held last year. Hurray!

• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is officially getting paid. The right way.

• The latest from the Sam Keller/EA Sports lawsuit. Ty is expected to be brought to the stand to complain about Not Jeremiah Masoli‘s presence on the Oregon roster in the 2011 incarnation.

• Phil Steele has a Top 10 for 2011. It seems like just yesterday that he was the only forecaster with Oregon out of the top 60 before their 2009 Pac-10 championship season and Rose Bowl run. I may have stammered and argued poorly, but I won!!

• The Wiz has an excellent new unsanctioned Mississippi State billboard.

• Do you want to see Justin Bieber answer his phone after his MIke Gundy ringtone goes off? I kinda did.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Weezer performing the full State Farm Insurance song. And it’s probably better than most of their last three albums.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaaHevyxvvA

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Miami resident Anna Kournikova, who I assume will never be the same now that Tate Forcier is headed to her adopted hometown.

*****

• Tate Forcier decided to take his talents to South Beach after he claims Michigan AD Dave Brandon wouldn’t meet with him (though Brandon tried to reschedule). Now Forcier needs to find a new head towel.

• Oklahoma State hired Jacksonville Jaguars QB coach Todd Monken to be their new OC, the job vacated by new West Virginia OC/HC-in-Waiting Dana Holgersen. So if you’ve been enjoying the David Gerrard magic in Jacksonville, things are only getting … similar in Stillwater.

• Utah OC Norm Chow will make less money in Salt Lake City than he did at UCLA. I think he’ll be ok.

• ESPN lists their top 25 recruiters. Not a surprise, but most of the coaches coach for teams who have had at least some success over the years. And Clemson.

SI (24/7 Sports) does something similar.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with colleague David Ubben about Nebraska moving to the B1G Ten.

• Ivan Maisel is buzzing now that it’s the offseason. It isn’t nearly as titillating as it sounds.

• Wisconsin agreed to a Rose Bowl rematch against TCU in its home opener. TCU said, “Not so much.”

• A few Virginia players look to be a fightin’ bunch.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a post-signing day podcast. He totally stole Andy Staples from us, a guy he never would’ve known if it weren’t for The Solid Verbal. Pshhh.

• Speaking of which, SI.com’s Andy Staples does his best Captain Hindsight, and re-ranks the 2008 recruiting classes.

• Backup Notre Dame QB Nate Montana appears to be considering Montana (birthrite!!!) as a potential transfer destination. So says The Missoulian, my current favorite Montana-based newspaper.

• Rivals has a list of 250 high school juniors who could, quite possibly, be very good.

• Rivals also has a preview of Conference USA’s spring. FINALLY.

(Other conferences are also apparently available)

• ASU QB Steven Threet continues to recover from concussions suffered in 2010 and is thus doubtful for spring practice.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a kitty jumping around in super slow-mo set to happy music.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1vpB6h3ek4

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by William and Mary alumnus Patton Oswalt. The Tribe went 8-4 and pretty much run the Colonial Conference. And I think Oswalt is funnier than other Tribe alumnus Mike Tomlin.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks, in light of the Iowa hospitalizations, heads should roll in Iowa City. CBS’s Adam Jacobi expands on everything on his own Black Heart Gold Pants (Iowa) blog.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer continues to update his “Eye on Recruiting” blog with the latest news, visits, and commitments. And it’s all freeeeeeeeeeeeee.

• There’s a rumor going around that Mike Leach could be Oklahoma State’s new offensive coordinator. ESPN’s David Ubben examines that rumor.

• Nebraska and Taylor Martinez‘s dad Casey ended their apparel licensing deal. Casey Martinez claims he initiated discussions, as he’s already made hundreds of millions of dollars from the deal and didn’t want to be a distraction to his son. Or that’s not it at all.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples kindly asks Mark Zuckerberg to shut down Facebook for the good of recruiting fans.

• UCLA’s LT Sean Sheller was granted a sixth year of eligibility — not because of a previous injury, the NCAA just felt bad for UCLA. Ok that’s not true at all.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday examines winning percentage and recruiting rankings. It goes pretty much as expected.

• Former touted USC WR Brice Butler is transferring, a Trojan rite of passage.

• Michigan coach Brady Hoke has started strong on the recruiting trail. In looking at Hoke, I’m not sure there’s any other way. He’s large.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Patton Oswalt telling a barf bag story on Conan. Exquisite.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by University of Arizona graduate Garry Shandling because I just remembered how much I love The Larry Sanders Show, and to a lesser extent The Mike Stoops Show. ANGER!!!

*****

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers list the top 10 moments from their respective conferences. It’s a collection of moments that made me sit back and think, “Hey I remember when I thought that moment mattered.”

• Auburn WR Darvin Adams is skipping his senior season to go to the NFL. You may remember him best as somebody you hadn’t heard of until Cam Newton started throwing the ball to him.

• Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden threw for a bajillion yards and did so with a ruptured tendon in his thumb. Which is almost as impressive as Texas QB Garrett Gilbert playing the entire year with only Texas players around him.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel runs down who has and who will be without returning, experienced talent. If I’m to infer correctly, UCLA is worse off for having Rick Neuheisel return.

• With National Signing Day approaching, Rivals looks back at their 2010 five-star class.

• A guy built a brick by brick replica of Ohio State’s Horseshoe out of Legos. Impressive, but you should see his fully-functioning Lego girlfriend.

• CBS Sports’s Bryan Fischer has a new recruiting blog on the site, “Eye on Recruiting.” It’s a good way to stay up to date without feeling your creepiest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best possible alternative to 3D — complete loss over the use of one’s eyelids. Hurray!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uef17zOCDb8

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Cecil Newton, a beacon of entrepreneurial spirit. I don’t like to use the word “hero” often, so I won’t here.

*****

• An array of hyper-talented players are hanging around college to (most likely) avoid NFL collective bargaining issues. Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd and Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon were yesterday’s surprises. Today’s? LSU QB Jordan Jefferson! Dun dun DUNNNNN!!!!

• Brady Hoke was introduced as Michigan’s new coach, after following what appears to be the best path to getting a great job — slave away as an assistant, then make a traditionally horrible team decent. Or be Monte Kiffin’s son.

QB Denard Robinson is undecided about how pumped he may or may not be.

MGoBlog’s Brian Cook has some thoughts.

• Tulsa’s Todd Graham is the new Pitt coach. And before you get excited about a big fancy Tulsa offense coming to Pitt, he’s a defensive guy who hired good offensive minds at a Conference USA school. So there’s that.

• UCLA has apparently parted ways with OC Norm Chow, who will apparently end up at Utah. The Bruins, meanwhile, are rumored to be hiring now former 49ers OC Michael Johnson. It’s at any point now that Rick Neuheisel will harmlessly take out an insurance policy against a 2-10 UCLA season.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rate the best/worst of this year’s bowl performances. Surprise! Nebraska appears in multiple “worst” entries.

• Miami is hiring Seattle Seahawks QB coach Jedd Fisch to be their offensive coordinator. If anybody has a strong opinion regarding this, they’re probably lying.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has an early 2011 top 25. It just doesn’t feel like mid-January without unwarranted Oklahoma inflation, does it?

• Nike is running an Oregon Ducks ad in local papers today. It’s neon-y.

• LSU OC Gary Crowton looks to be headed to Maryland. BREAKING: Maryland will hate their offense in 2012 after a year of false hope.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel responds to reader mail for the last time (this season).

• The Wiz has the salaries of bowl CEOs. You know, the guys that put on these games for the student-athletes and the fans and heroically take the leftover hundreds of thousands of dollars.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nice little compilation of product placement in movies. This item is brought to you by Dr. Pepper. Too obvious?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wACBAu9coUU

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community’s Gillian Jacobs. She attended Juilliard, which has no football team. But if they did, I’m sure they’d be admirably in-step and still probably better than Arizona.

*****

• Maryland, in coach Ralph Friedgen‘s last game as the Terps’ coach, demolished ECU in the Military Bowl. Maryland RB Da’Rel Scott may still be running.

And star Maryland WR Torrey Smith is running to the NFL Draft.

• Baylor essentially played a home game in the Texas Bowl … and got ZOOK’d by Illinois 38-14. And the only thing I can think about is how bad Texas truly must be to have lost to this Baylor team in Austin.

• Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon just isn’t fair anymore. And after last night’s Alamo Bowl, Mike Stoops’s seat just isn’t chilly anymore.

Here’s Blackmon being left open, because, well, I don’t know why.

• The NCAA responded to criticisms that their discipline is doled out inconsistently by issuing a statement that amounted to, “Nuh-uh.”

• The five suspended Ohio State players have “pledged” to come back in 2011. If they didn’t, they would’ve had to (gasp!) miss playing in the Sugar Bowl.

• The Air Raid is dead in Lubbock. RIP.

• SmartFootball examines defensive adjustments to the spread. It’ll make you feel all smart and stuff.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers are it again with their newfangled keys and previews to today’s bowl games:

Pinstripe — Keys + Preview

Armed Forces — Keys … Preview

Music City — Keys … Preview

Holiday — Keys + Preview

• SI.com’s Andy Staples is already bored with the 2010 season and has moved on to previewing 2011. Just wait until we shock everyone and drop our 2014 preview. That’s what I thought.

• Is Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez long for Lincoln? I have no idea. And neither does anyone else.

• West Virginia QB Geno Smith led the Mountaineers to a season-ending top 25 ranking with a fractured foot. What did YOU do this fall? Pathetic.

• Now that he’s in a city where it’s socially acceptable to admit it, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly REALLY likes his new boots.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features an angry child, an innocent backpack, and a fragile window. Even if your math skills are sub-par, you should probably see where this is going.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNsXm99VT2Y

Enjoy your Thursday + Armed Forces + Pinstripe + Music City + Holiday bowls!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by high-school dropout and possible rules-violating Iowa booster Demi Moore, who is probably glad she learned Marcus Coker’s name just before last night’s Insight Bowl.

*****

• Iowa, led by RB Marcus Coker‘s huge game, flatted Missouri 27-24 in the Insight Bowl. The new goal in Iowa City is now preventing Coker’s name from ever ending up in the same sentence as “drug house” or “violating the team’s substance policy.”

• NC State gradually got by West Virginia 23-7 in a Champs Sports Bowl nearly devoid of sound offensive gameplanning or execution.

• The CEO of the Sugar Bowl lobbied for the suspended Ohio State players to play in his bowl to protect “the integrity” of his game. Ohio State is expected to release a statement after the Sugar Bowl kicks them out of bed and gives them cab fare.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is either moderately interested in the Maryland job or wants Zuckerburg money to be an offensive coordinator at Auburn.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have information aplenty for today’s games:

Military Bowl — Preview … Keys

Texas Bowl — Preview … Keys

Alamo Bowl — Both

• Miami QB Jacory Harris will probably start against Notre Dame in the Sun Bowl. Now we can all exhale.

• Former Florida coach Urban Meyer is “seriously considering” an analyst’s role at ESPN. How will everyone in his family get in a word when there’s only so much airtime to go around?

• Mississippi State QB Chris Relf will wear the number of late teammate Nick Bell in the Gator Bowl.

• West Virginia RB Shawne Altson signed into Facebook at halftime of yesterday’s Champs Sports Bowl. OMG LOLZ.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best scenes from Pixar movies cut together. Makes you wish you were a computer-generated underdog.

Enjoy your Wednesday + Military Bowl + Texas Bowl + Alamo Bowl!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Seth Galifianakis, brother of Zach and proud NC State graduate. Go Wolfpack!

*****

• Air Force beat Georgia Tech in the Triple Option Bowl in a game that can best be described as “14-7.” If anything, it was a victory for football purists — those who still aren’t fully on board with newfangled ideas like “the forward pass.”

Even Air Force‘s falcon briefly left the action in Shreveport.

• Sue Paterno, wife of Penn State coach Joe, is fighting back against rumors that her husband is in poor health and retiring in a week.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor will not, no matter his future plans, play in the Bucks’ first five games. A current high school senior probably will.

• North Carolina RB Anthony Elzy won’t play in the Music City Bowl because of “failing to meet his obligations as a student athlete.” Great, now the Music City Bowl means NOTHING.

• Four Florida players will miss the Gator Bowl after undergoing various surgeries. I’m calling it now — Muschamp-sponsored bionic limb introductions. Scandal!

• ESPN‘s bloggers are hard at work doing what they always do:

Insight Bowl — Keys … Preview

Champs Sports — Keys … Preview

• Texas Tech WR Adam James was upset about playing time under former coach Mike Leach. Things are WAY better now.

• Arizona had some famous former Wildcats call up the Alamo Bowl and talk up their school. Oh and they were all basketball players. Bowls!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a random video of Craig Ferguson singing and dancing with a guy in a tuxedo, three bikini girls, a robot skeleton, and an S&M dude. Why not?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwkK5-ibYcw

Enjoy your Tuesday + Champs Sports Bowl + Insight Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Dunder Mifflin’s Toby Flenderson, who doesn’t look completely unlike Florida AD Jeremy Foley. Whatever, I didn’t want to give too much effort in choosing a Chorus sponsor today and this fit.

*****

• Urban Meyer stepped down as the coach of Florida yesterday so he can spend more time with his family. And there’s no way he’ll ever coach again or change his mind at a certain point. Unless, of course, he does.

The presumed candidates include names previously associated with both the school and Meyer, big names around football, and my own nominee — James from GatorsFirst.com. Because he puts the Gators FIRST.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall offered an initial reaction.

• ESPN’s Erin Andrews (Gator alumnus) reacts to Meyer’s resignation.

• Utah DE Christian Cox is promising a Ute win over Boise State in the Las Vegas Bowl. I may now watch the game just to see if the senior makes plays and we get to hear a lot of, “So much Cox!!” or “Cox comes up big!!” Ok I’ll stop.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor said he’d “dominate” if he had chosen to attend a school that, you know, was eager to take advantage of his otherworldly athletic talents.

• The Miami Herald reported that Nebraska granted coach Bo Pelini permission to speak with the Hurricanes about their head coaching vacancy, while Pelini and Nebraska deny everything.

• Speaking of which, Nebraska DT Baker Steinkuhler was cited for suspicion of a DUI and will be put on ice for the Holiday Bowl. See what I did there? I’ve been waiting all year for Baker Steinkuhler to be newsworthy, and frankly, I nailed it.

• Mike Leach will take any of your available jobs.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have all-conference teams. Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon was awarded a spot at 7 different offensive positions on the Big 12 list and I’m not sure you’re in any sort of position to question this.

• Iowa WR Derrell Johnson-Koulianos was officially charged with “keeping a drug house.” Some people go to the Hamptons, some to Aspen, and now, I suppose, Iowa City.

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley won the Lombardi Award, the trophy given to the nation’s top lineman. He was gracious in accepting the honor and then drove his helmet into the other nominees.

• BCS Dear Leader Bill Hancock wrote an op-ed piece in today’s USA Today defending the wonderful BCS.

• Former Oregon cheerleader Katelynn Johnson travels for a Fox Sports video segment, and you’re not going to believe this, but they had her play mud football. It’s like a much less sexy “SI Tour Guy.”

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag and addresses BCS modifications.

• I’ll be honest — one of the great things about being an Oregon fan in Los Angeles is that I’m far, far away from a lot of Duck fans. This guy included.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is fast food turned into sushi. BACONBACONBACONBACON.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXjxHQQxcLw

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought you by Maryland alumnus Larry David, who, because I need another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, needs to avoid any and all scooters.

*****

• Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen has not spoken with Urban Meyer about a position at Florida. But he has been have late night IM sessions with whoever “UrbzTeebz4lyfe” is. Totes.

• Nebraska fans are not pleased with OC Shawn Watson. Apparently, an offense that produces yards, first downs, and points against bad teams, but stops doing so good ones agitates people who invest a questionable amount of their emotions into college football. <— I’m one of you.

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Brian Cook unearths some rock solid schadenfraude. And hey, there’s Bo Pelini featured prominently!

• The Sports Business Journal has a chart of all the gifts that bowl games give to their participants. The Meineke Car Care Bowl didn’t disclose, so we’ll just assume everyone’s getting jewel-encrusted mufflers.

• CBS Sports’s Adam Jacobi reacts to Indiana hiring Oklahoma OC Kevin Wilson. His analysis is a bit more detailed than my reaction of, “Oh.”

• Miami has candidates in mind for their vacant head coaching job. Super! Congrats! Out of this world!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall writes a column listing things that caught his attention and they just happen to be in alphabetical order. The name of the column is “The Alphabetical” — wait a second…

• Utah QB Jordan Wynn will miss both the Utes’ bowl game against Boise State and spring practice after having shoulder surgery.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans wasn’t thrilled with the 2010 college football season. Sounds like he needs a year of being reassigned to the NFL to put things in perspective.

• The wacky Lee Corso mascot head has been recovered and two former Oregon students (not graduates, ahem) were cited for felony theft. I’ve always said it — if you’re going down for felony theft, go down doing it stealing an ironically large mascot head of a below-average former coach/charismatic morning show host. Always.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) reviews the Heisman finalist field. I haven’t been paying attention lately, but I still think Denard Robinson edges out Terrelle Pryor and Taylor Martinez.

• The Football Writers Association of America (FWAA) voted Oregon coach Chip Kelly as their coach of the year, awarding him the Eddie Robinson Coach of the Year award. No big deal.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel reveals this year’s seeded 16-team playoff. I have no arguments or qualms of any sort.

• The lines are out for the bowl games. If Chris the Capper doesn’t win our bowl pool, you’ll know he’s a complete fraud. Or a talented handicapper who did extremely well during the regular season and HITS A WALL WHEN IT COUNTS. Your move, Capper.

• New Colorado coach Jon Embree has a staff and a lot of them, well, were already there. That makes it easy — no nametags.

• Former Georgia QB Zach Mettenberger is now an LSU Tiger. Because really, the place to hone the craft of quarterbacking is and will always be Baton Rouge, LA.

• Teddy Bridgewater, the QB jewel of Miami’s 2011 recruiting class, has decommitted from Miami and opened up his recruitment. He’s expected to take visits with his close friend Tommy Tunnelmountain. Nailed it!!

• Scooters are taking out Maryland players one by one. Scary.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a little old, but still great. Law school applicants, please take note.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMvARy0lBLE

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you Nike founder Phil Knight. Thanks, Phil.

*****

• The official bowl schedule is out. I think we all remember where we were for our first Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl.

• The final coaches poll was released, and thus, we finally get to see each coach’s final ballot. It’s even more dumb and biased than we’ve thought all along. Hip hip.

• USC fans fought with UCLA fans because a football hit a car during the pre-game tailgate. It ended with stabbing. Officially, Reggie Bush is being blamed.

• Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer gets up, gets up, and gets down. (via edsbs)

• The AP’s Mark Long reports there are rumors Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen is being “eyed” by Florida. Or is using Florida to get, as Ty puts it, an eleventy billion dollar raise from the Cowboys.

• This has nothing to do with anything, but the first few paragraphs of this old CNN/SI profile of Dan Kendra are amazing.

• Given that the regular season is over, ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some pretty definitive power rankings. Oh and bowl overviews. And they’ve collectively made the finest guacamole of anybody ever featured here.

• The Texas Longhorns’ season, in MS Paint.

• And on that note, Texas OC Greg Davis officially resigned and two position coaches retired. Now Texas will go undefeated in 2011. Like for definitely.

• Ole Miss DT Jerrell Powe is going to play in the National Football League. Well, I guess we also thought that about Jevan Snead, so I’ll wait until April to say any more.

• Wisconsin‘s student paper named names. Of students bright enough to sell overpriced bowl tickets in what I’m assuming will be lousy seats in an uncomfortable stadium. Who wants to watch a game from an angle that makes it impossible to see Bret Bielema tasting blood?

• Word from Pullman, WA is Washington State is bringing back coach Paul Wulff. At least that’s what I can make of all those dots and dashes.

• USC student-agent Teague (Teague!!) Egan is now, thanks to NFLPA decertification, just a student. Oh, and a horrible person.

• Oregon play by play announcer Jerry Allen gets emotional during the last few seconds of Saturday’s Civil War. And if you know anything about Jerry Allen, you know that the fact that he was aware of the game clock status is something to celebrate.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel picks through the BCS storylines in this week’s College Football Overtime.

• Lee Corso‘s wacky mascot head has disappeared. Some clues have surfaced, but mostly, this story has made me want to dance to some Basement Jaxx.

• The Wiz has the week in shapshots, the week in video, and the new Colorado coaches arriving.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch.

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan review a handful of conference championship games and dissect a bunch of projected bowl pairings.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Bucknell student Kevin Bacon. He seems like an intense guy — no way is he happy about the 1-11 season the Bison suffered through, BUT they did lose to Lafayette, so naturally, I’m fine with it.

*****

• Arizona kicker Alex Zendejas had two extra points blocked by Arizona State DE James Brooks — one to win it in regulation and one to tie it in double OT. The Wildcats lost and Mike Stoops‘s head is still yet to be recovered.

• Chip Brown of OrangeBloods.com is saying Texas OC Greg Davis will “be replaced.” The nation awaits with bated breath for a new coordinator to find new ways for QB Garrett Gilbert to throw passes into triple coverage.

• NCAA president Mark Emmert defends the Cam Newton decision. It would’ve been much easier if Emmert simply asked, “Hey, what’s that behind you?” and then took off.

• Jim Delaney and Larry Scott, commissioners of the Big 10 and Pac 10, respectively, aren’t thrilled with the Cam Newton ruling. Cam Newton, meanwhile, may be pleased with the ruling, but I assume he’s too busy studying a soon-to-be-vacated gameplan.

• Though he injured his knee against Oklahoma State, Oklahoma RB DeMarco Murray will play tomorrow against Nebraska.

• Whichever team loses the ACC championship game will play in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. So there’s that.

• Syracuse will be playing in the Pinstripe Bowl at Yankee Stadium. Derek Jeter is expected to attend … to the needs of Minka Kelly on some tropical island somewhere.

• Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez played some Josh Groban for the departing seniors at the team banquet last night while pleading for his job. Yep.

• Former Colorado coach Dan Hawkins got a couple mil’ for his troubles (to not coach the Buffs). That’ll do.

• Jon Embree, former Colorado player/coach and current Washington Redskins tight ends coach, has been offered the Colorado head coaching job. Unless he hasn’t been. But he probably has been.

• New Mexico coach Mike Locksley will, due to the always-inspirational situation of his bosses not wanting to buy him out, be back next year.

• Oregon State will be wearing throwback uniforms tomorrow that are, well, kinda awesome.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder (SVBFF) profiles Oregon QB Darron Thomas. What? Like I wasn’t going to link this?

• The Wiz flips through the notebooks of reporters across the country.

• The latest lines for this week’s games. What’s a guy gotta do to lay some paper on Bethune Cookman?

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of Kevin Bacon’s biggest fan, Kevin Bacon. Hey, sometimes you just gotta cut loose.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyQb192-CPQ

Enjoy your Friday + (your last) College Football Saturday.

Ty and Dan take a look at the NCAA’s ruling on Cam Newton, TCU’s move to the Big East, E. Gordon Gee’s stupid comments, and the Miami coaching vacancy.  Plus, Verballer voice messages, e-mails and locks of the week.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vanilla Ice. I have no idea if he’s a fan of Miami football and/or Randy Shannon, but I can no longer hear anyone say “A1A” without yelling out, “Beachfront Avenue!!!” so I’m sliding him in today.

*****

• TCU is joining the Big East and it will join in all sports (after the 2011-12 academic year). It’s about time -- Coach Gary Patterson can finally tell Texas kids they’ll get to play on Thursday nights in Piscataway, NJ. Where do I sign?

• Miami fired coach Randy Shannon and won’t hire Jon Gruden. Unless they will, which they almost certainly will not.

• Michigan AD Dave Brandon is yet to evaluate coach Rich Rodriguez’s performance, but will do so in about a month. Most important Insight Bowl ever?

• The newest BCS standings are out. Northern Illinois is ranked higher than Florida, Texas, USC, and Georgia.

• Florida DL coach and former Iowa State head coach Dan McCarney is the new head coach at North Texas. Always happy for a “Dan” getting hired.

• You know how Ty and have said that Nebraska‘s fanbase was probably the nicest, most respectful fan base in college football? Well, they’re no longer making the rest of us look bad anymore — I present to you … Nebraska psychopaths!!

• The American Football Coaches Association has an All-American team. I bet they also have delicious pot lucks, go-kart races, and crazy slumber parties with scary stories. Or I’m just imagining that. But yeah right, it’s pretty much true.

• Cal DL coach Tosh Lupoi was suspended for instructing a player to fake an injury against Oregon. Because position coaches going rogue and instituting an individual position game plan without consulting anyone else sounds complete plausible. Mr. Lupoi, here comes the bus, we’re just going to give you a light shove and be on our way.

• Indiana coach Bill Lynch was fired and is now just plain ol’ citizen Bill Lynch.

• Vanderbilt coach Robbie Caldwell will step aside now that his interim year has concluded. That sound you’re hearing is some very excited (or terrified) turkeys.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will fix the Gators by recruiting “tough” players. He then added, “What? Coach Addazio has a lot of heavy furniture that’s not just going to move itself out of the building.”

• USC coach Lane Kiffin explains how USC did what Tulsa couldn’t — lose to Notre Dame.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some especially powerful power rankings and particularly project-y bowl projections. Whatever, you try thinking of two different adjectives to use in a sentence.

• Oklahoma State CB Brodrick Brown played a little game against Oklahoma called “just the tip.” Oh wait, I see what I did there.

• Florida DB Dee Finley has some constructive criticism for Gator fans. And by “constructive,” I mean “thoroughly misspelled demands of mass suicide.”

• Oregon State DT Stephen Paea has power running through his veins. Oh and lots and lots of cortisone.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at new money in his newest College Football Overtime. ***Spoiler*** Texas is old money.

• The Wiz has the snapshots of the week. A disappointed fan in full-costume is featured, which is obviously the best kind of disappointed fan.

• An Auburn fan, celebrating the Tigers’ Iron Bowl win, tackled a snowman, and then did a dainty little celebration. I’m as surprised as you are. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, well, I really have no idea what is or what happens, but it’s right below this sentence.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC60iSTUmRE

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan break down a wild weekend that saw a monster upset by Nevada, a triumphant victory for Auburn, and a defining loss for Rich Rodriguez against Ohio State.  Plus, wackiness in the Big 12, closure in the ACC, and a host of listener Reverbs.

Ty and Dan deliver a super-sized episode, chock full of analysis for all the week’s biggest rivalries, listener e-mails and voice messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by legendary horse trainer and Arizona graduate (Major: Race Track Industry!) Bob Baffert, though I have no idea if he follows college football and has a horse in the race when it comes to Friday’s game at Oregon. You see what I did there? Comedy.

*****

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini apologized for his behavior and confirmed Taylor Martinez’s continued presence on the Huskers. He reiterated, “NBgHJ RN3GL JDaF K77GN&#*@3&* %&#$@(adf*#@!!”

• An Indiana prosecutor is investigating a sexual assault claim against a Notre Dame football player by a woman who died in early September in an apparent suicide.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James left the Cal game with an apparent leg injury and appeared on crutches in a walking boot post-game. He apparently practiced full-go yesterday and should be fine against Arizona on Friday. Upon hearing the news, Cal DT Aaron Tipoti instinctively fell to the ground.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck, Boise State’s Kellen Moore, and Auburn’s Cam Newton are your Davey O’Brien Award finalists. All well and good, but who’s up for this year’s Ken O’Brien? Oh, it appears to be only Garrett Gilbert.

• Speaking of which, Wisconsin RB John Clay, despite managing only 42 rushing yards (due to injury) in November, is a Doak Walker Award finalist. CBS Sports’s Adam Jacoby (correctly) takes issue.

• EDSBS’s Doug Gillett prefers to disagree with you regarding the biggest college football rivalries.

• ESPN’s Gameday will be in Stillwater for Saturday’s Bedlam game, forgoing the excellent idea to have Lt. Jim Dangle be the celebrity picker at Boise State/Nevada on Friday.

• The LA Times’ TJ Simers says it’s not looking good for UCLA OC Norm Chow. But Rick Neuheisel is doing a bang-up job!!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett compares Pitt RB Dion Lewis to West Virginia RB Noel Devine, two backs who have fallen in line with the Big East’s library-quiet presence this season.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris, the Eagles’ one offensive bright spot, could be out 3-6 weeks with torn meniscus. Plug in Kuechly!!

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rewind and fast forward. Because they’ve done so every week and it’s why they get paid Cecil Newton money.

• Want to see this week’s most famous golf cart? Of course you kind of do! (Impressive upholstery)

• Arizona will be down a receiver (suspension) for Friday’s Oregon game. And so will Oregon (injury). Both rock solid names, though.

• Oregon‘s building a new HQ for its football program. It’s expected to be inexpensive, modest, and devoid of any flash. Ahem.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) goes A through Y, and then just for kicks, goes to Z in this week’s Alphabetical. I enjoyed you best, Yale.

• Similarly, SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) tackles some schadenfraude.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney casts an updated Heisman vote because … actually, I really have no idea why.

• This week’s college football lines. Las Vegans (word?) seem to like the Crimson Tide of Alabama.

• This week’s screengrabs of the week (via The Wiz).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is almost guaranteed to make you a vegetarian (if yesterday’s didn’t) or some sort of bloodthirsty maniac. It’s essentially every kind of edible animal combined to form a delicious super-meal called TurBaconEpic. With extra bacon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xc5wIpUenQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan talk about LSU’s close call, Nebraska’s dud, a potential Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl, and the ongoing Dillon Baxter Experiment at USC.

Ty & Dan discuss the latest in the Cam Newton pay-for-play situation and the need to renovate Husky Stadium, and break down all the Week 12 action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Nick Nolte, crazy person and former Arizona State student (and football player). It’s still yet to be decided if Nolte is the acting world’s Vontaze Burfict or Burfict is ASU’s Nolte. In any case, be careful around either of these two.

*****

• The FBI has quietly been involved with Auburn QB Cam Newton‘s pay-for-play case and interviewed John Bond, the former Mississippi State QB who was told of Newton’s MSU asking price of $180,000. ¡Federales!

• Arizona State coach Dennis Erickson was fined for criticizing officials over a call they made on LB Vontaze Burfict. As a coach, one clearly has to have his players’ back, but really, we’re defending The Walking Personal Foul here?

• Orangebloods’s Chip Brown has a Texas status update. As far as the coaches are concerned, it’s more “Greg Davis is Single” than “It’s Complicated.”

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley won’t be suspended for the Iron Bowl against Alabama next week. Excuse me while I go invest in whichever company sells the most MRI and CT Scan equipment to the southeastern states.

• Purdue WR Keith Smith is looking to be granted a sixth year of eligibility via a medical hardship waiver. He tore his ACL and MCL in Purdue’s second game of the season against Western Illinois. So, you know, at least the game meant something.

• Apparently, Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is coming under fire for running up the score against Indiana. I like that Bielema’s response amounts to, “Hey, your job is to stop us and you couldn’t even stop our scrubs. Also, you’re all pansy MFers.” I like this. He’s like a reverse Bob Stoops.

• Miami QB Stephen Morris will start this Saturday when the Hurricanes host Virginia Tech. With a wall of up to 13,000 Miami fans behind him, no less.

• Iowa State QB Austen Arnaud‘s career is over after after sustaining multiple knee injuries against Colorado. His left knee requires “total reconstruction.”

• The Biletnikoff Award (WR) finalists were announced. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but it reminded me of how stacked the country is with great receivers. Not that any of them are touching Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon, but I can appreciate their efforts.

• Illinois coach Ron Zook doesn’t want to talk about a bowl game. Only he really, really does. Also, it sounds like he’s about six years behind on his cough drop cycle.

• NC State LB Nate Irving is angered by running backs. And probably deserves 30-40 yards for this anger. (via edsbs)

• “Not much can be done” about Oregon‘s opponents faking injuries, according to ESPN’s Ted Miller. It’s pretty much a waiting game — eventually, though, the testes drop.

Supposedly, a Cal source confirmed that “injuries” were part of the game plan.

• “Our fans are better than the Aggies’ fans,” says Nebraska coach Bo Pelini. I’ve been to both Lincoln and College Station, and, uh, yep.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Neil Young (Jimmy Fallon) and Bruce Springsteen (Bruce Springsteen) covering the song, “Whip my Hair.” If you’re unfamiliar with the song, you probably lead a rewarding, successful life. If you are familiar with the song, you know that it means music is dead. This version, though, is awesome.

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan go through all the Week 11 action and break down Oregon’s close win on the road against Cal.

Ty and Dan analyze the latest on the Cam Newton situation in light of recent comments by purported associate Kenny Rogers.  Plus, e-mails, voice messages and Week 11 picks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Carrabba, aka Dashboard Confessional, aka guy who attended Florida Atlantic. The Owls play Florida next year, which is actually not very emo at all. Let us all celebrate the fact that Howard Schnellenberger and Chris Carrabba are associated with the same institution.

*****

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez expects himself to be 100% for Kansas on Saturday. He then added, “But 44% would do the trick, it’s Kansas, right?” Ohnohedinnnnt. No, he didn’t.

• The University of Texas regents gave their OK to the future Texas-centric TV network. I’m pretty excited to never, ever watch this unless absolutely forced to. Wouldn’t it have been easier just to call it CBS College Sports Southwest?

• Mississippi State contacted the SEC regarding the recruitment of Cam Newton back in January. “Ruh roh!!” That’s me as Scooby Doo reacting. Why? I have no idea.

• Colorado interim coach Brian Cabral speaks. It’s much easier to coach a football team that way.

• Next year, Florida will play Florida Atlantic, UAB, and Furman. Alabama will play Kent State, North Texas, and Georgia Southern. No decisions have been made yet, but given their salaries, you just KNOW Urban Meyer and Nick Saban will be wearing some beautiful dresses.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers tell you what to watch and make game predictions. I looked, and there’s actual text under the headline “What to Watch in the Big East.” Credibility = Gone.

• Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen breaks down one of the many plays I’ll be using during my Thanksgiving flag football game. Just gotta figure out how to make it work for limited-contact 4 on 4.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall alphabetizes. It’s harder than you think.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel (SVBFF) projects all of the bowl matchups. I’m calling it right now: this year’s Meineke Car Care Bowl will be the best Meineke Car Care Bowl of the year!!

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has pictures of Yankee Stadium and Wrigley Field as they prepare to host Notre Dame/Army and Illinois/Northwestern.

• Alabama RB Trent Richardson is a maybe for Mississippi State. So to those of you trying to figure out if he’ll underwhelm with 63 yards or 77 yards, you’ll have to keep on guessing. But he’s totally better than Mark Ingram. Trust me.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is gameplay of NES’s ExciteBike. I don’t know why, I just remember really liking this game immensely. And then overheating constantly. Grrrrr.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=543dG0EWcYM

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Natalie Portman. I don’t really need to explain further, but she went to Harvard, who had the audacity to beat Lafayette last month. She’s also in some new movie with rule-breaking Iowa booster Ashton-Something. I forgive her.

*****

• ESPN’s Joe Schad is reporting that both Cam and Cecil Newton admitted to a “pay for play plan” during phone calls, and that Cam himself apologized to recruiters at Mississippi State because the “money was too much” at Auburn to pass up.

SportsbyBrooks is convinced somebody is lying.

• Ole Miss QB Jeremiah Masoli suffered a concussion against Louisiana-Lafayette and is questionable against Tennessee.

• Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops said nothing seemed out of the ordinary to him while the Sooners recruited Cam Newton. Of course, how much credibility does Stoops have out ON THE ROAD? Exactly.

• CBS Sports’s Adam Jacobi spoke with Jack Arute and Mike Leach. Out loud.

• Oregon (backup) QB Nate Costa is out for the season after suffering a career-ending knee injury on a botched play. This is the fourth major knee surgery for Costa, inching him closer on the punch card to that coveted free sandwich.

• Iowa RB Adam Robinson is expected to play this week against Northwestern after missing last week’s Indiana game with a possible concussion.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) reviews last night’s outstanding 30for30 documentary, “The Best There Never Was” about former Oklahoma RB Marcus Dupree.

• Florida State QB Christian Ponder missed practice yesterday due to a right elbow injury.

• Colorado fired Dan Hawkins partly because an embarrassing Kansas comeback was a clear last straw. SI.com’s Joe Posnanski celebrates a pretty great Kansas win.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel, along with other SI staffers, sits down with NCAA President Mark Emmert. On video. IN your computer.

• The Wiz has the last 30 years of Michigan trick plays.

• Minnesota evidently has San Diego State coach Brady Hoke on their short list of coaching candidates.

• Penn State has named Matt McGloin the new starter at QB. Coach Joe Paterno even went as far as learning his name, so you know it’s for real.

• Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen has been amazing for the Cowboys. This means he’s either gone after the year or it’s time for STRAIGHT. CASH. HOMEY.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an apology from Bundaberg Rum over an insensitive commercial. I don’t know why, but I forgive them.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRvE_fNW_N0

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Robert Redford, former Colorado student and bartender at The Sink in Boulder. He’s also ready for new football leadership for the Buffs and I just made that up.

*****

• Florida coach Urban Meyer Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is reporting that Auburn QB Cam Newton had “three different instances of academic cheating” during his time at Florida. I put quotes around Evans’s words, because I didn’t write them. That would be cheating. Ahem.

It’s ok, though, Auburn fans have Newton’s back. And Mark Schlabach‘s front. And Pedro Gomez‘s brief torso. They’re angry.

• After officially being told of the school’s coaching change, Colorado coach Dan Hawkins is now private citizen Dan Hawkins. Though the story is in Boulder, Kansas is THE current team that’s so mind-blowingly bad that a coach can be fired for losing to you. Rock Chalk, indeed.

Oh, and Dan Hawkins was all like “Peace out, MF’ers!”

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez is expected to start against Kansas this weekend. His ankle is improved and he should have a very productive quarter.

Also, Nebraska‘s using the same sandwich board technique Oregon and Oklahoma State use to send in plays.

• Cincinnati QB Zach Collaros is also expected to start at West Virginia. Good news for Bearcats fans, bad news for Big East Chas/Chazz-out fans.

• Wisconsin RB John Clay is questionable against Indiana due to a knee injury. Damn, looks like some other big dude will have to carry the ball 27 times for 141 yards. Gosh.

• Texas coach Mack Brown is not ready to give up on QB Garrett Gilbert. Cute.

• EDSBS has this week’s “Best in Class.” Just once I’d like this to be about Donald Trump ranking college football stories in terms of classiness. “Colorado blowing that lead? That’s definitely not claaaaaaaaaaaassssy.”

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers rewind and fast forward, and then accidentally DVR a rerun of The Gilmore Girls, watch anyway, and come to realize it’s not that bad at all.

• Washington AD Scott Woodward “clarifies” his “remarks” about Oregon and issues a non-apology. Seems like he did a lot of soul-searching and a fair amount of pants-pooping before deciding to come forward with an “I’m sorry you were offended”-type statement.

• I enjoy first-time LSU visitor stories. SB Nation’s Andrew Sharp did a much better job with his than I did with mine.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney with this week’s Heisman Watch. What do you guys think of him having LSU’s Drake Nevis at #1? Just kidding it’s the standard QB/RB/WR, the only players that REALLY matter.

• SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) lurves him some Texas in the newest “This Week in Schadenfraude.” It features crying and swearing, etc. Good times.

• Noted Mexican cuisine expert Rick Bayless offers up his recipe for bacon guacamole. This has nothing to do with college football, but this week’s games seem mostly anti-climactic and guacamole is, as always, climactic.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of newly-minted TBS host Conan O’Brien. In India.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIZCtDJtFPw

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan discuss a crazy week of high-scoring action and a very important statement win by TCU.  Plus, Reverbs and poking more fun at Ty’s locks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Willie Nelson, former Baylor student. Does anybody dislike Willie Nelson? He may secretly be one of the most universally-liked people in America. And now his college football team is playing well. Actually, I don’t know if he follows football, but I like to think he does. Because I just flat out like the guy.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Utah’s recent success. I got kind of sick of reading about all the “Solid Verbal Bump” stuff with Whittingham, but other than that, it’s a good read.

• MGoBlog’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) reacts to the news that Michigan may escape the NCAA’s wrath. The next step is now escaping the wrath of average Big 10 offensive lines. One step at a time.

• South Florida beat Rutgers last night. And now you know.

• This week’s Baylor/Oklahoma State tilt means something for the first time in a long time. “Honest, mister!” says ESPN’s David Ubben.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell you what to watch and make Saturday predictions. I’ll tell you what not to watch, predict something. and I’ll do it all in one sentence. SNL will be painfully unfunny.

• Miami RB Damien Berry won’t play against Maryland because he’s “banged up.” That sentence took longer than usual to type, as even my fingers have sense how boring the ACC has become.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is just kickin’ it with Mike Leach in Key West. Seems fun and possibly a bit terrifying.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) writes about TCU/Utah and the BCS.

• Alabama WR Julio Jones faces LSU CB Patrick Peterson on Saturday. And they’ll probably just neutralize each other during a 13-11 game. Yay.

• After missing a few weeks with a knee injury, Arizona QB Nick Foles will start for the Wildcats against Stanford on Saturday. His hair remains day to day.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Ellen DeGeneres scaring people. This falls under the never-not-funny-unless-it-happens-to-you category. We need to get Ty famous and on Ellen’s show.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Foot Locker. Why? Because it’s the most successful shoe store ever started by a referee with no hands, that’s why.

And because Florida State plays tonight. That’s also why.

*****

• A Notre Dame student/video assistant was tragically killed when the tower he was filming practice from was knocked over by tremendous winds. He posted updates on Twitter beforehand, it’s pretty haunting.

• Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon will be suspended for one game following Monday’s DUI arrest. Because the only real way to send a message that drunkenly driving 92 MPH in the middle of the night is unacceptable on your team is missing three hours of football.

• The Big 12 suspended Nebraska LB Eric Martin for what it perceived to be a helmet to helmet hit against Oklahoma State. Later, after careful review, the Big 12 also decided to suspend most of Boise State‘s secondary.

• Shirts are now available revealing Texas OC Greg Davis’s most secret offensive plays. Rejoice!

• Because successful college football coaches will be far too busy breaking down film to dress up in Halloween costumes this weekend, Michigan Zone imagines the possibilities.

• ESPN Radio announcer Dave LaMont gets a wee bit angry during Saturday’s Florida Atlantic game. And by that, I mean he challenges an entire press box to a fight. Good times.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers demand you watch for certain storylines in Saturday’s games. They then politely predict some outcomes. And finally, they have a pretty big question about some inconsistencies in “The Shattering.”

• Interested to see how SB Nation bloggers voted in their own top 25? Didn’t think so. But if so, SB Nation’s Brian Cook makes sense of it.

• UCLA bloggers have raised a fair amount of money for little Bruin fan battling cancer. They’re still looking to raise more money, so if you have a few bucks laying around, help a young fan stay healthy enough to watch as much college football as possible.

• SB Nation’s Avinash Kunnath walks you through the Pac-10 race as it unfolds during the second half of the season. It’s a handy, simple guide to have, since so many of the national outlets can be so overwhelming and go into so much detail when discussing the Pac-10. Lay off, guys, ok?

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel takes a peek inside the mailbag and he ends up talking about Applebees apparently giving him stomach issues. I think we’re all happy that Stewart’s still alive, actually.

• SI.com wants you to submit questions for Washington QB Jake Locker. Feel free to use any of these:

1. How soft are Mel Kiper’s hands?

2. Kirk Herbstreit says you look really good in your uniform, is this weird for you to hear?

3. How long do you expect the transition to take once you switch to linebacker at the next level? (joke!) (maybe!)

4. Is there any truth to the rumor that you’re legally changing your name to “Jake Locker Overthrows Him”

5. How good are you at hitting a curveball?

• ESPN put in a bid to run Texas’s proposed new network. Man, can you imagine how much the Longhorns are going to be GRILLED with all those investigative journalists having all that access? Oowee!!

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden has now passed a concussion test. I never understood why so much weight is put on the SATs and ACTs when so many (not all) college football players take the easiest major and have a ton of tutoring. Why not just give them concussion tests pre-concussions while they’re still in high school? I’m yet to hear a good answer against this — mostly because I thought of this four seconds ago.

• Here’s every Florida offensive play from the 2010 season. It’s kind of boring and slightly depressing. Perfect!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a young man breaking his leg. In face paint. Jumping around awkwardly on a stage in front of thousands of people. It’s not graphic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkE2BTjYFGQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by USC alum Joe Francis. Yep, he went to USC. The University of Southern California. In Los Angeles. The Trojans. USC. Fight on.

*****

• Boise State beat up on Louisiana Tech last night, or as SEC fans recall, “Boise State pathetically scraped by Louisiana Tech.”

• Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon was arrested on a DUI complaint in Texas while driving home from Monday night’s Dallas Cowboys game, marking the first time Blackmon’s been caught from behind this season.

• Wounded: Wisconsin RT Josh Oglesby is out for the year after undergoing knee surgery, Penn State QB Robert Bolden is not expected to suit up against Michigan after he failed a concussion test, and because of a sore knee, Cincinnati QB Zach Collaros‘s status is still uncertain vs Syracuse.

• A convicted killer chose “Boomer Sooner” as his last words before his execution. While unusual, it was even more rare for the warden to respond with “Statue of Liberty!!”

• USC WR Markeith Ambles has been suspended indefinitely for repeated tardiness.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini is looking to shake up the team’s pregame routine. And thus, we bid farewell to Nebraska receivers dipping their hands in construction-grade cement an hour before kickoff.

• The EagleBank Bowl will now be known as The Military Bowl. I apologize for throwing a wrench into what you thought would be a normal Wednesday.

• SI.com‘s Andy Staples issues power rankings. And firmly believes his presence affects the outcome of games. Looks like all the Solid Verbal appearances may finally be going to his head.

• Oregon will probably be wearing silver cleats at USC on Saturday. And for those keeping score, I’ll be the one in the Coliseum crowd secretly and inexplicably gushing over them. I’m weird.

• A Notre Dame student wants the student body to storm the field after the Irish lose to Utah to celebrate the worst senior class in the school’s history. This is even bumming me out. Ok, but not totally.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel is noticing that top high school football players are going to a wider variety of schools. Death to traditional powers! Death to exclamation points.

• Deadspin got ahold of the secret instructions Washington State fans pass around when sending each other the giant Cougar flag that’s waved in every Gameday long shot. NERDS!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is people doing awesome things. Because people are awesome. I know because the title says so.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo0Cazxj_yc

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan talk about Mizzou’s big win, the rise of Auburn, and Navy’s dismantling of Notre Dame. Plus, Verballers ReVerbs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Arizona State attendee Jimmy Kimmel. It hasn’t happened yet, but if his show ever overwhelms him while on the air, expect the Sun Devil in him to take over, as he’ll flop around faking an injury in hopes that a mercy commercial break will be cut to. Go Sun Devils!

*****

• #1 Oregon beat #463 UCLA last night. Soundly.

ESPN’s Ted Miller was there and evaluated the goings-on.

Statistics were compiled and published. Just like Florida‘s offense but with more digits everywhere.

The Ducks used giant placards with hieroglyphics to call plays. Some of those placards had pictures of ESPN personalities on them, much to the amusement of ESPN personalities.

UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel was not amused by any of the above.

• The Pac-Twen division and championship game details have been set. Now let’s see if people will be able to watch the games on their newfangled picture boxes.

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd is questionable for tomorrow’s Navy game. Somebody has to say it — hamstrings are giant a-holes.

• If you’re a fan of Bruce Hornsby‘s piano playing, original lyrics railing against the BCS, and slow motion clips of college football games from the past decade, I may just have a link for you.

• Maryland OT Pete DeSouza hurt himself riding a scooter. Unfortunately, I read this article while riding on my scooter and am now myself injured. Meta-scooting is a bitch.

• The Big Tenelve is changing its championship tiebreaker rules, presumably after Texas was left out of the conference championship game in 2008. I’d love to be on board with this, but it’s become increasingly difficult to feel bad for Texas after they let whatever it was that Oregon beat last night run them up and down the field.

• Oklahoma WR Dejuan Miller will miss the remainder of the season after he tore meniscus in his right knee. The recovery time is about five months, but Miller should be back on the sideline in no time to see the Sooners start losing to inferior teams*.

* ©Bob Stoops.

• A National Guardsman (and Michigan fan) got onto the field with two unloaded M16 assault rifles. It really is a blow to Michigan’s sterling reputation as a state not having crazy backwoods militia types who care too much about college football. Oh. Wait.

• Auburn QB Cameron Newton admits that, despite his success and happiness at Auburn, his heart is still at Florida. This shouldn’t be taken the wrong way — he wanted to finish what he started in Gainesville with the friends he made during his time there. Well, there if Dan Mullen were still there. Let’s not go crazy.

• Two Arizona State football players stole laptops, an XBox, and some XBox games from a dorm room. It’s now officially the most national video exposure the ASU football program has received all season. Pac-10 TV deal!!

• SI.com’s Austin Murphy profiles Auburn QB Cam Newton. As you’d expect from an SI magazine feature writer, the words read good. Doi.

The site also has a midseason report predicting various end of the season outcomes. Apparently, they all still believe in rainbows, unicorns, and Boise State securing a national title berth. And SVBFF George Schroeder loves teams from the state of Oklahoma. Oowee.

• USC may run the some form of the spread offense next year. It’s October 22 and USC is talking about overhauling next year’s offense. Still, some brahs are stoked.

• Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett has been cleared to play against Ole Miss tomorrow after suffering a concussion during last week’s Auburn game. This understandably came as a relief to Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino, who couldn’t offer a quote, as he was running to catch a flight. Wait, did he say where he was going? Oh no … not again!!!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day honors the simultaneous existence of Skittles and bowling college.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjEnVfFmFtA

Enjoy your Friday + College Football Saturday.

Ty and Dan make their picks for Week 8 and discuss the Pac-12 division decision, the new Rose Bowl sponsor, and the notion of taking an automatic weapon into a crowded stadium (instead of buying a ticket).  Plus, Verballer e-mails.

Ty and Dan do their first show since meeting face-to-face in Lincoln, Nebraska and rehash VerbaCon 2010 as well as the other action during Week 7.

Ty and Dan preview all the Week Seven action on the eve of their first ever meeting in Nebraska for Verbacon 2010.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Jenn Sterger, who, as a Florida State grad, must be pleased with how Mark Stoops has handled the D. Whatever happened to her?

*****

• Alabama WR Julio Jones broke his hand in the first half of Saturday’s South Carolina game. He had surgery the following day to have a screw inserted. Psh, like his hand isn’t already made of bionic parts already.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers is officially out for the remainder of the season after his knee injury at Arizona on Saturday. He’s a small dude, but as a Duck/football fan, I’m equally terrified and excited every time he plays. But mostly terrified.

• The Rose Bowl, the best/worst stadium in college football, is getting a $152 million dollar renovation. To be honest, I’m going to miss their original Gameboy-sized video screen, 20 minute waits in the entrance tunnels, and hot benches. Oh no wait, no I’m not. Huzzah!

• Three UCLA starters will be suspended for next Thursday’s Oregon game. Discipline is admirable, but only sending 8 guys out there against the #2 team in the country? Risky.

• Houston QB Case Keenum will apply for a medical hardship waiver after blowing out his knee against UCLA a few weeks ago. He’s also expected to summarily beg Dana Holgorsen to come back to the Cougars, which is the only way this story matters.

• The Pac-10 is working on splitting up into divisions in preparation for Utah and Colorado. Stanford and Cal are causing problems. Nerds!

• Two Washington State RS freshmen were growing dozens of pot plants in their rented house. Police said that growing that many plants was a “big deal.” The players are agreed, but their high five attempts with police were immediately rebuffed. (via SbB)

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall ranks some college football announcers, submits his weekly Alphabetical column, while Holly Anderson (Peete) doles out some classy stickers.

• The season is about 40% done, so why not hammer out some Heisman thoughts? SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete), SI.com’s Cory McCartney, and ESPN’s team of randoms are happy to oblige. Yahoo!!!!!!!! takes it one step further and ranks just about everybody by position.

• The Week in Schadenfreude from SVBFF and SB Nation’s Brian Cook. God help us all if this column becomes terrible and we all delight in its failure. That’s what’s called a double-meta blackhole. What does it meeeeaaaannnnn?

• Smart Football’s Chris Brown has his Smart Notes up, which looks at the key types of plays that led to wins. I feel smarter just linking to this.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers look back at the first half of the season and do a quick rewind/fast forward. Thankfully, they also finally show us how to properly trim spare ribs prior to cooking. Find the flap!

• Lost in the hilari-depressing USC season is the breakout performance of true freshman WR Robert Woods, who finished with over 200 yards receiving in the Trojans’ loss at Stanford. Quite simply, dude be fast.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a perfect commercial for Stella Artois, directed by Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola. It’s too early for beer, Dan. It’s too early for beer.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pq8u2orRLU

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Warren Buffett, Nebraska’s wealthiest investor/Husker fan. Word has begun leaking that he has been unable sleep due to the exciting combination of Taylor Martinez running read veer options and, obviously, Verbacon. So typical.

*****

• North Carolina‘s Marvin Austin (DT), Robert Quinn (DE), and Greg Little (WR) have all been lost due to their involvement with an agent and the benefits they each received. Austin was dismissed, with Quinn and Little ruled permanently ineligible. Even more importantly, Marvin Austin is no longer the Dan Rubenstein College Football Crush. This is now on loop.

• As you now know, LSU coach Les Miles called a fake FG that ultimately led to the Gators’ demise. It worked even better in 2007.

• Oregon RB and return specialist Kenjon Barner was released from a hospital in Pullman, WA after sustaining a big-hit concussion on a kick return against Washington State.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers, just back from a concussion, suffered a bad knee injury. There’s video, but it isn’t pleasant. The good news is he’s apparently eligible for a medical hardship waiver. Human reaction: Good. Duck reaction: Damn.

• Saturday box score analysis, courtesy of SB Nation and Yahoo!’s Dr. Saturday. I’m still waiting to hear back regarding inquiry regarding the newly formed MAC-themed Dr. Tuesday/Wednesday blog. Fingers crossed.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel drops knowledge bombs covering the college football landscape, and even mentions, thanks to fantasy football and the downfall of Marvin Austin, my new college football crush: Justin Blackmon. I hope this doesn’t sound like hyperbole, but in Dana Holgorson’s offense, he’s essentially a combination of Michael Crabtree and Blanca from Street Fighter II.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples ponders the rest of the SEC season after Alabama’s loss at South Carolina. ***Spoiler*** Everyone’s going to lose to somebody at some point in the SEC the rest of the way, and Alabama will still probably win the West. Ok fine, if the Tide decide to hand it off to Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson.

• LSUFreek is the best college football animated Gif artist (you heard me) on the planet, and should other planets have football leagues attached to academic institutions, he probably already photoshops heads of personalities in that league onto their art and cinema.

• A Michigan fan swears a lot while watching the Wolverines lose to Michigan State. Language is salty and NSFW, unless you work in some sort of F*ck Factory. And if you do, get back to f*ckin’ work, you f*ckin’ slacker. (via EDSBS)

• Speaking of which, Michigan themselves got “Lloydballed” by the Spartans. I hadn’t read that term until this morning, at which point, I just stared at the text and laughed at its simple genius.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers give conference power rankings, helmet stickers, a list of what they learned, and get in a group dance-fight. What? Sometimes you just have to dance-fight.

• Here are this week’s opening lines.

• The Wiz has the Screengrabs O’ the Week. Brock Huard possibly teases Mike Bellotti’s right nipple in one of them. Not a joke.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck tackled USC CB Shareece Wright after the Trojan recovered a fumble. Excuse me, I believe the correct term is “laidimthefuggout.”‘

• Adidas is introducing new “TECHFIT” jerseys for, among other teams, UCLA, Tennessee, Michigan, and Notre Dame. I hereby demand an ND jersey for Ty, as he will feel lighter and faster while pacing over the Irish letting another subpar team climb back into a game. Demand!

Also, RIP Wallace.

Today’s Video of the Day is The Simpsons über-dark couch sequence opening last night, storyboarded by Banksy, the popular street artist. I enjoyed the dolphin head.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DX1iplQQJTo

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan review all the Week Five action and talk about another fabulous performance by Denard Robinson.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Rashida Jones (Parks and Recreation), who has a part in “The Social Network,” opening today. She’s also a Harvard alumnus, though I have no idea if she cares that the Crimson play THE Lafayette Leopards tomorrow. Oh, and she’s also perdy.

*****

Remember to listen to the latest podcast (iTunes link) for Saturday’s game previews + news/emails/voicemails. Also, don’t forget to look directly to the right of this sentence for Saturday’s TV schedule.

• Oklahoma State needed four Jerrod Johnson interceptions, but they put away Texas A&M with a last second field goal, set up by a … Jerrod Johnson interception. Here’s what we learned:

1. Neither of these teams will win the Big 12

2. The Cowboys’ Justin Blackmon is the best WR in the conference

3. Heavy ropes give Craig James trouble

• UNC safety Da’Norris Searcy has been cleared to play for the Tar Heels against East Carolina tomorrow. Hey, a guy’s gotta make a living, right?

• Purdue QB Robert Marve is out for the year with a torn ACL -- his second season ending knee ligament injury in 18 months.

• Smart Football’s Chris Brown writes about Cam Newton/Denard Robinson and their respective offenses for Yahoo’s Dr. Saturday. Knowledge bombs are dropped with little to no abandon. Read it. Now. Go.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson looks at the great start the service academies have had this fall. Impressive, but I’m still claiming hidden bayonets are playing a prominent role.

• Yahoo’s Dr Saturday looks at Saturday’s lines and some possible upsets. Take the under of five of “Minutes Dan watches the Notre Dame -- Boston College Slapfight.”

• Fanhouse’s Clay Travis catches up with former Alabama WR Tyrone Prothro, who’s five years removed from his horrific leg injury against Florida.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall walks through Baton Rouge on game day. And then sits down and watches football. Saturday’s are awesome. In fact, every day should be one.

Today’s Video of the Day is the music video for the 2010 edition of “I Love my Ducks.” Joey Harrington is in it. I’m linking because I too love my Ducks. And my Joey Harrington.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_P1PPy7FTo

Enjoy your Friday + College Football Saturday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Dr. Ken Jeong (The Hangover, Community, Kaiser Permanente), who received his medical degree from North Carolina. On now-infamous agent Gary Wichard’s dime. Ok there’s no proof of that. Or is there? No there isn’t.

*****

• Yahoo Sports saddled up, did their best Lester Freamon, followed some North Carolina money and now UNC appears to be, as the cast of Laguna Beach: The Real O.C. would say, “dunzo.” Settle down, Tar Heels, you were always a women’s soccer school, anyway.

Yahooooooooo! also provides copies of documents and an easy guide to the cast of characters involved.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers went on a group vacation and shot a cool compilation video of their adventures on the nation’s water slides. Orrrrrr they tell you what to watch and predict what will happen during Saturday’s action. Only one of these stories is true.

• Boise State’s Winston Venable was suspended for a half for a hit on Oregon State’s James Rodgers that was deemed helmet to helmet. Or as it’s called in Boise, “fundamentals.”

• SI.com has a triumvirate of college football links: Andy Staples profiles new Oklahoma State offensive coordinator Dana Holgorsen, Stewart Mandel ruffles through the mail, and Jon Wertheim (normally a tennis guy) profiles a Nebraska assistant that has more money than you or me. Unless Mark Zuckerberg is reading this. If so, what up Mark?

• Touted freshman Miami OT Seantrel Henderson may start for the Hurricanes this Saturday. In three dimensions!

• After benching incumbent Dave Shinskie, Boston College will start true freshman QB Chase Rettig against Notre Dame. Suddenly, with all of the different storylines taking shape, this could be one of the more interesting pillowfights of the weekend.

• Everybody’s going to play everybody in the Big 12 next year. For those of you craving yearly Iowa State-Baylor action, your time has come.

• Injured Michigan DB Troy Woolfolk used Google Images to prove his identity after being pulled over and forgetting his driver’s license. Because I’m thorough with my research, you should also know that when you look up “Troy Woolfolk” in Google Images, a first person shot of boobs in a bikini shows up. Just a disgusting act.

Today’s Video of the Day is, possibly for the first time, a football video. It’s Division III football!!!!!!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-tXkV1_8fk

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Rick Sanchez, the CNN anchor who likes college football so much that he, well, gets torn apart by Jon Stewart (go to 6:20).

*****

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney and ESPN‘s scrappy group of bloggers weigh in on the Heisman race. Cal QB Kevin Riley checks in at 947th and 835th, respectively.

• Alabama QB Greg McElroy has some sore tender bits after Saturday’s Arkansas game.

• Sports Illustrated released this week’s cover, which will hopefully lead to more people arguing that Boise State doesn’t play anyone, and if they played in another conference, they’d be a three-win team. MAX.

• Yahoo’s (!) Matt Hinton loves Auburn’s awesome (and possibly dangerous) pregame tradition. I’ve always wondered if the eagle has ever pooped while swooping around. A swoop-and-poop, if you will. Please let me know at solidverbal@gmail.com, with the subject line “Swoop-and-Poop.”

• Oklahoma State defensive coaches are giving candy bars to top practice performers. I have no objection to this, but it’s the first time I can remember football players being rewarded like puppies remembering to tinkle outside.

• SB Nation contributor (and mgoblog editor) (and SVBFF) Brian Cook breaks down The Week in Schadenfreude.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples offers up his latest college football power rankings. Spare ribs check in at #2, #7, and #14.

• Florida WR Chris Rainey agreed to a misdemeanor plea deal in his aggravated stalking case. It doesn’t seem like Florida fans are too concerned, now that they’ve discovered BURTON-PORN!!!

• A storm was brewing at Kansas State on Saturday. Not in a metaphoric way. Just an actual storm.

• Perhaps wheelchair seating should be moved, uh, away from right on top of the field of play.

• The lines for this week’s games are out. This is a reminded to pay extra special attention to Ty’s picks against the spread. And then run like hell.

Today’s Video of the Day is an instructional video for the New Yorker iPad app, done by Jason Schwartzman. I like his ringtone.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKr-E7J-6pQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan make their picks for all the Week Four action and discuss Vegas as a possible location for a Pac-12 title game, suspicious BCS finances, and a host of Verballer messages.

Ty and Dan welcome Chip Brown from OrangeBloods.com back to the show to discuss Dan Beebe’s mysterious money source, the threat of Baylor, the ballad of Dan Hawkins, the Garrett Gilbert era, and a Cover-3 far more formidable than any defense.

Ty and Dan talk with Texas recruit and Oklahoma State commit J.W. Walsh about the hectic nature of recruiting, being selected as an Elite 11 quarterback, how priorities factor in when picking a school, and his opinions on drawn-out recruiting announcements.

Ty and Dan take a closer look at the Big 12 conference and talk about Texas A&M as a potential sleeper, Oklahoma as an offensive juggernaut, Nebraska as a legitimate contender, and much much more.  Plus, news of a Friday special edition episode for your listening pleasure.

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
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Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan review the bowl action (and their lackluster picks) since their last podcast, read some listener messages, and wonder what’s going on with Boise State cheerleaders.

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E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan return from a brief respite to reflect upon the Mike Leach and Urban Meyer stories, as well as the bowl games that have already been played.  Plus, picks for the 18 games between now and next week’s podcast.

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E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan examine the firing of Charlie Weis and the resignation of Bobby Bowden, as well as the wacky week in college football. Plus, voice messages and a winner in the Solid Verbal fantasy league!

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Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: www.solidverbal.com

Ty recaps his trip to South Bend and laments Notre Dame’s eighth consecutive loss to USC; Dan talks about his brief getaway to Vegas.  Plus, voice messages and a review of all the week’s action.

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Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan bring back Chip Brown from OrangeBloods.com and ESPN Radio 1530 in Austin to discuss this week’s Red River Rivalry.  Plus, voice messages, e-mails and week 7 previews as before another Road Trip Weekend for the Solid Verbal Crew.  *Note* This show was recorded on Wednesday.

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E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan are joined by Josh McCuistion from SoonerScoop.com to discuss Sam Bradford’s visit to Dr. James Andrews, the reputation of the Big 12, and the possibility of non-BCS team playing for the BCS Championship.  Plus, voice messages, e-mails, and the beginning of the open competition for The Solid Verbal’s host city in 2010.

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E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan review the second week of the 2009 college football season despite Ty’s emphatic request to talk about anything OTHER than the Notre Dame – Michigan game.  Plus, taunting voice messages, a recap of the college fantasy league, and a quick rundown of the Solid Verbal pick’em pool.

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan review college football’s first week of action and examine Chip Kelly’s catastrophic start, Notre Dame’s shutout, Ohio State’s scare, and other notable stories from around the country. Plus, a recap of the Solid Verbal Fantasy League and the hotly-contested pick ‘em pool.

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/solidverbal
E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan get fired up for the 2009 season by making their picks for the major games of the week.  Plus, voice messages, your e-mail, and painful discussion about the anti-Charlie Weis billboard.  Well, painful for Ty, anyway. (Episode 56)

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E-mail: solidverbal@gmail.com
Voicemail: 206-338-1784
Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Throughout August we will be counting down the top 25 teams (as listed here) going into the 2009 season. Today, in my return from the Canadian wilderness, I make the proverbial trip to Stillwater to examine why it is that an orange cowboy with a giant head shoots off an annoyingly loud rifle every 19 seconds. I’m told this signifies something good happening, but if you’ve ever seen or heard this, you, like me, have your doubts.

First Impression

Unless the thought new money in college football bothers you, there’s very little not to like about Oklahoma State. They run a fairly wide open offensive system with exciting, likable skill players, and just to keep games interesting, they don’t tackle very many people when they play decent teams. On a certain level, you’ve gotta admire that sort of dedication to giving fans as many shootouts as possible. Respek.

I suppose one of the reasons why Oklahoma State seems so likable to me is that they’re basically a slightly less polished/physical version of Oregon. The tradition isn’t necessarily there, money flows throughout everything OSU, but the difference is that the Cowboys have a local recruiting base, which means Okie State probably has a higher ceiling than the Ducks, no matter what happened in last year’s Holiday Bowl. It should be interesting to see what the Cowboys can do in a brutal conference now that they’re approaching an even financial playing field.

Last Year

Look at that! 7-0! A win over Mizzou in Columbia! Bring it Big 12 South! Ok .. slow down just a little, please.

There’s little doubt that OSU was a top 20 school after the 2008 season, but there’s still the pesky reality of a team needing to beat somebody to be a somebody. The Cowboys played five teams that finished in the Top 25, and went 1-4. Not acceptable.

The games against Texas and Oregon were both particularly winnable, while the ones against Texas Tech and Oklahoma were, well, not. Really, though, of all the Cowboys’  games against ranked teams, they had only Oklahoma in Stillwater, which should be noted.

People

Well, I’m assuming by now that people are familiar with the Cowboys’ big three of QB Zac Robinson, WR Dez Bryant, and RB Kendall Hunter. All are in the top tier at their positions in the conference, if not nationally. You could argue about a dropoff between Robinson and Bradford/McCoy in the Big 12, but going into the season, I see them in the same group.

Beyond the star skill players, OT Russell Okung returns to lock down the left side of the line, and two senior LBs, Andre Sexton and Patrick Levine are solid, but unspectacular. The big loss on offense, other than a starting guard, is losing TE Brandon Pettigrew, who was by far OSU’s second best receiving option. The combination of Dez Bryant’s ability to stretch the field and Pettigrew’s consistent performance underneath was lethal.

The big weakness last season was a major lack of defensive consistency, which in no small part can be traced to the Cowboys inability to pressure the QB. It appears that new defensive coordinator Bill Young sees this as job one, so stay tuned. If OSU can get stops, they’re on equal footing with Texas and Oklahoma. Plain and simple.

This Year

Thanks to teams a la Texas Tech, Big 12 scheduling can sometimes take justified hits. Well, Oklahoma State shall take no such hit as they open against Georgia in Stillwater. They dropped the game in Athens two years ago, but both teams were in very different places. Nationally speaking, it’s make or break for both teams right out of the chute.

The rest of the non-conference is pretty respectable. Houston and Rice (both bowl winners) should both be decent wins in Stillwater and Grambling State should be a walkover. That said, I’m never a fan of teams just nesting and spending September at home. Not so ballsy, Cowboys.

On that same note, the Fightin’ Gundys stay in Stillwater for every meaningful Big 12 game before they go to Norman on November 28th. This isn’t to say, though, that Texas A&M or Baylor can’t sneak up on the Cowboys -- anything’s possible when your defense can’t get consistent stops.

It appears that a worst case scenario going into the Texas game on Halloween would have the Cowboys at 6-1 or 5-2. Because they gave the ‘Horns all they could handle in Austin last season, there’s at least some reason to believe that OSU can make the leap this season if they’re firing on all cylinders.

Until Oklahoma, the schedule is dotted with ideal matchups (Texas Tech and Colorado at home), with the only road game @Iowa State.

Far be it for me to pick against Oklahoma in Norman, so I won’t. Despite what should be another Sooner win, ten wins isn’t wholly unreasonable, especially given the schedule.

Conclusion

In a conference dominated by offense, any contender needs to have a passable defense to even dream about a BCS berth. The skill players are great, the line is really good, the defense needs to make a big leap. Once again, you need to stop somebody. Anybody.

Oklahoma State is at their crossroads. Are they more than big numbers and star skill players? Are they Texas Tech North (all offense, occasional forays into conference contention)?

Most good teams have leap years, I see this as being that year for OSU. They’ve tweaked their D with a new coordinator and they should be able to hang with everyone offensively. Even more importantly, Mike Gundy will finish the year as more than just That Press Conference Guy. Huge.

Prediction

10-2. Oklahoma and a team TBD beats the Cowboys. I’ll go with Colorado in one of those tricky November Thursday night games.

Dez Bryant Highlights Set to Music About Hos

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ5uPJGwscU

-Dan

Throughout August, we will be counting down the top 25 teams (as listed here) going into the 2009 season.  Today, we travel deep within SEC territory to Athens, Georgia, a place that hates Ty Hildenbrandt and will have its opportunity to seek barbaric revenge when he visits on September 26th.

First Impressions

Two seasons ago, I penned the following line regarding Georgia football in an effort to draw a parallel between the Bulldogs and the great WWF star “The Ultimate Warrior“:

Hulk Hogan once described The Ultimate Warrior as a “flat character.” Is that not Georgia? Other than a wild touchdown celebration against Florida, the Dawgs have no real defining characteristics. Likewise, they continually fall short of being THE team to beat in college football, content on going 8-4, 9-3, or 10-2 every season.

Never in my life have I been so afraid.  This statement resonated throughout Dawg Nation like a crying baby in a crowded church.  And I was inundated, relentlessly, with messages from angry fans, all of whom contested every syllable of the three sentences I had inadvertently used to launch a pseudo-controversy.  It was undoubtedly the closest I had ever come to being beaten by an angry mob while attempting a joke about a once-superstar in an imaginary sport.

It was then that I realized what Georgia football was all about.  Though I stand by those initial statements — Georgia still hasn’t gotten over that proverbial hump on the national stage — I realize that Georgia sees it differently.  Georgia doesn’t lower its standards when it falls short; if anything, it raises them.  (And its fans sure as hell didn’t appreciate me poking a stick in their wound.)

That’s where we’re at with the Dawgs in 2009.  Only a year ago, this team was loaded for bear with Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno on offense, and a preseason No. 1 ranking to its credit.  But as losses amassed against Alabama, Florida and Georgia Tech, it became clear that Georgia was somewhat overrated.  It also became clear that Georgia, at least under Mark Richt, thrives better when it can fly under the radar.  And, well, hello 2009.

As Stafford and Moreno were both first round NFL picks, and the focus in the SEC has shifted to teams such as Florida, Alabama, LSU and Ole Miss, Georgia again finds itself lurking in the weeds, perhaps an upset or two away from making an improbable run.

Last Year

Georgia started the 2008 season as the preseason No. 1 team in the country behind Matthew Stafford‘s arm, and Kn