Ty and Dan talk about the B1G Ten’s playoff proposal, the “new” Nebraska, hostesses in recruiting, and annoying exchange rates.

Ty and Dan break down the impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, Michigan’s triumph over Ohio State, the Heisman credentials of Montee Ball, UCLA’s march to Pac-12 South glory, and all the other action from Rivalry Week.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan debate the true definition of “Clemsoning,” break down the laser arm of Andrew Luck, and discuss all the Week 9 action.

Ty and Dan rehash college football’s eighth week and discuss Kirk Cousins’ Hail Mary, James Franklin’s casual dress Saturday, Clemson’s chances of going unbeaten, and Nick Foles… in a winning effort!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Alison Brie, proud California Institute of the Arts graduate, and, for my money, one of the better ways to begin a weekend.

*****

• CBS‘s Brett McMurphy and Bruce Feldman have week 8 picks.

• Things got interesting before last night’s UCLA/Arizona halftime in a fake ref/streaking/brawl kind of way.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly makes you smarter every time. Take advantage.

• Free Connolly USC/ND preview. Just that easy.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg talks to Nebraska LB Lavonte David.

• ESPN‘s bloggers debate USC vs Notre Dame. When two unranked rivals meet, YOU THROW THE RECORDS OUT.

• Ditto for Stanford/Washington.

• ESPN‘s bloggers tell you what to watch, and that’s final.

• SI.com has a midseason All-American team (and Miami RB Lamar Miller).

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday takes an unbeaten snapshot.

• The fine Doc Sat folk also have the good, bad, and the ugliness.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a Euro/crazy mouth version of Led Zeppelin. Ker-azy.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxcCC2g1Ke0

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Whenever it is that I get my own TV network, ordering episodes of Playwatch, a show that exclusively features college football coaches running in slow motion for uncomfortable periods of time, will be job one. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Ty and Dan talk with Adam Hoge (Buckys5thQuarter.com) and Brandon Vogel (Big Red Network and CBSSports.com) about this weekend’s Big Ten showdown between Wisconsin and Nebraska.

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Macalester College (go Scots!) alum and Friday Night Lights co-creator Peter Berg. Here’s to hoping he goes home with some hardware Sunday night.

*****

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is still in the hospital. Here’s to hoping he comes out soon and does so bigger, stronger, faster, etc. KILL!

• Mississippi State hosts LSU tonight. SB Nation’s Bill Connelly seeks to make you wiser about the whole affair.

• SI.com’s Maggie Gray talks to Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher ahead of Saturday night’s Oklahoma game.

• Bob and Mark Stoops meet up again Saturday night. CBS’s Brett McMurphy gets all up in the brotherhood.

• Arizona WR Juron Criner is questionable vs Stanford, due to a complete lack of an appendix.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles walk-on Oklahoma starting RB Dominique Whaley. Walk-on power! (©Andy Staples)

• Big Daddy’s excited for Saturday’s Nebraska game.

• ESPN‘s bloggers will tell you what to watch this weekend AND YOU WILL LIKE IT. Now finish your vegetables.

• Predictions are also available, should you choose to accept.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers your questions in text form.

• Ohio State is down an edge rusher (their really good one).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best taxidermy commercial you’ll see all morning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJP1DphOWPs

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Reed College attendee Steve Jobs. Fare thee well, sir.

*****

• Tennessee S Janzen Jackson is out in Knoxville after multiple failed drug tests. Things got a little happier in SEC receiver meetings.

• LSU QB Jordan Jefferson had his home searched by police, who took DNA swabs and looked for evidence in connection to Jefferson’s alleged role in a Baton Rouge bar fight last week.

• Purdue QB Rob Henry tore an ACL, which means he’s a Purdue offensive skill position player.

• The Big East needs points and they need ‘em bad.

• Former Oregon RB Lache Seastrunk has already begun practicing with Baylor. Inspiring times for 5th string RBs everywhere.

• Florida gets the Bill Connelly treatment at SB Nation.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart takes a tour of the fall’s games that will determine the 2011 BCS champion. And Nebraska-Wisconsin.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag and SI.com’s Andy Staples has a new Mark Cuban CFB column. Stew and Andy with the ol’ SI 1-2!!

• Something called All-Access: Oklahoma aired on ESPN earlier this week. There were highlights.

• Big East Week is getting out of control at Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday.

• Touted Oregon freshman TE Colt Lyerla will play this year. A lot.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Nebraska jersey unboxing porn. It’s a very specific fetish.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZvJ-uEduqM

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by noted boat captain and laddy mag officer Hugh Hefner. He also is quite familiar with what Oskee Wow Wow means. I-L-L.

*****

• Four LSU players (including QB Jordan Jefferson) will be questioned soon about their alleged involvement in a bar fight. Well played, LSU, never let Oregon and the Pac-12 one-up the SEC with anything.

• NC State DT J.R. Sweezy is out six weeks after breaking his foot. Shame, he’s the captain of the All Real-Name-Sounds-Like-A-Nickname team.

• CBS’s Eric Sorenson has schedule grades. Kudos for the “F-” addition.

• Oregon RB Lache Seastrunk, a once-touted prospect and current central person in the ongoing Will Lyles saga, has decided to transfer, possibly to Baylor. Worth it!

• Nebraska‘s studying up for the B1G.

• ESPN‘s conference bloggers have bowl projections, just in case it had been too long without reading the words “Meineke Car Care” on a sports site.

• Notre Dame will name a starting QB tomorrow. The lathering sound you hear is coming from Eastern PA.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Alabama, proving he’ll preview any team, no matter how small or well-dressed they may be.

• Georgia has new uniforms for Week 1′s Boise State game.

• Is there a Taiwanese animation to accompany the Miami-Nevin Shapiro story? You tell me.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney previews the Mountain West. Hoping he didn’t wear blue on blue when he wrote it. Scandal.

• Celebrate former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro with new, comfortable attire!

• Rivals has the top ten flaws in college football. ACTUAL football flaws.

• “Boston College RB” is the new “Spinal Tap drummer.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is what you get when you combine a former fighter pilot who is now well into his 70s, a video camera, and a frank talk about boners.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGJ1zTMEupw

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the number one Miami fan (and graduate) in national TV news, Chuck Todd. I’ll bet he’s working for the weekend.

*****

• The death penalty has not been broached by the NCAA re: Miami.

• There is no NCAA realignment summit, according to NCAA president Mark Emmert. That’s what they want you to think.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris will miss some time (and possibly BC‘s opener) after undergoing knee surgery. This hits close to home — we feel what Spaziani feels.

• Miami coach Al Golden wanted a little heads up, that’s all.

• LSU coach Les Miles now says WR Russell Shepard could possibly sit out the Oregon game after all while his compliance issue gets sorted out. Oops.

• Florida released a statement indicating that their players mentioned in the Yahoo! Miami report are cleared to play. Whew.

• Same goes for Kansas State’s Brown brothers, they of paper and high school fame.

• ESPN’s Chris Low asks Auburn QB questions. I’d answer, but my lawyer has advised me against any such action.

• Wisconsin AD and former coach Barry Alvarez (and son) lost over a million dollars to the Ponzi scheme of former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro.

• Former Miami AD Paul Dee wanted the guillotine dropped on USC. He has some ‘splaining to do.

• I apparently went to the wrong UCLA practice.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews the “invisible” USC Trojans.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder has a Pac-12 preview.

• Central Florida has mail!

• Penn State still needs a quarterback.

• Nebraska CB Alfonzo Dennard has a bum leg. Not an actual bum’s leg, but rather just an injury. I’m positive you needed that clarification.

• TCU QB Casey Pachall (“Pa-ha” is what I’m told) has a bum shoulder. This one ACTUALLY IS a bum’s shoulder.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy dancing with a bottle opener in front of a cheetah mural. A senior citizen makes a cameo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkdIVJ3Nngo

Enjoy your Thursday. Support support support. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Stewart Mandel from SI.com about expectations for Ohio State, Wisconsin’s unfamiliar role as favorite, Penn State’s quarterback questions, the addition of Nebraska, and other Big Ten topics.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by SUNY-Buffalo graduate and film mogul Harvey Weinstein. A little birdie told me that The Weinstein Company is interested in optioning The Solid Verbal story. That little birdie? Me.

*****

• The NCAA isn’t done with Ohio State. Or are they? No, they’re not.

• Your monthly Texas A&M-to-the-SEC rumor (this time with a double shot of Governor Rick Perry) is now ready for you. Careful, it’s hot.

• Boise State AD Gene Bleymaier is no more in the Treasure Valley. Ok, he’ll still probably be in the area, but somebody new will be occupying his office.

• Missouri DT Sheldon Richardson has finally been cleared to practice for the Tigers, though he may still go to USC. Or not. Or so.

• Cincinnati AD Mike Thomas will accept the same position at Illinois. Things just got a whole lot more orange.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall previewed every SEC game, I’m assuming because he hates sanity.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has Big East practice reports. Most importantly, cursing and Tweeting is out at Pitt.

• ESPN checks in with second-year coaches.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno returned to practice with his arm in a sling and his body in a golf cart.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Boise State. Spoiler: The numbers love ‘em.

• South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier doesn’t want his players swearing. He’s the only one allowed.

• Is Cal‘s offense too hard for young players? Sure, that must be it, you all are just too dumb to understand.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a mailbag AND a Dodge Stratus.

• College football and MS Paint (penises) will never, ever get old.

• Dr Saturday‘s SEC Week keeps on keeping on.

• Georgia Tech OT Phil Smith has been suspended for two games for rule breakage.

• Former Nebraska RB Ahman Green will be roaming sidelines for the Big Ten Network this fall. My only connection to this is that I once accidentally walked in on two people (neither of which were Ahman Green) attempting to make babies in the basement of a building he lived in in Omaha. This has nothing to do with anything.

• 2012 Auburn QB commit Zeke Pike is already thrilled to prod Alabama fans on Twitter. This will only end in mutual respect and peaceful thoughts.

• Rivals previews Nebraska, without any of the Ahman Green insight I provided above. Lame.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Paul Rudd’s marketing genius.

Enjoy your Thursday. Enjoy your style.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college person Marisa Miller, who appears on Camera Guy Dave’s show, The Daily Habit. He’s now Producer Dave. Take pity on him.

*****

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno suffered shoulder and hip injuries after being run over during practice yesterday. Not cool, WR just doing his job like he’s supposed to, not cool.

• SI.com dares to go inside the private world of Urban Meyer. It appears there are more smiles (and mustaches) there than in the Urban Meyer public world.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has UCLA practice notes. Mine will be coming out here shortly. His are far more informative.

• Texas S Christian Scott was arrested for misdemeanor assault. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. (etc)

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Texas and comes to the conclusion that he has no idea what to think. Perfect.

• Upcoming guest and ESPN Big 12 blogger David Ubben ranks conference LBs.

• He then breaks down Big 12 QB competition, which isn’t the same now that Kansas’s Kale Pick is now a WR. RIP Most Unfortunate Last Name for a QB.

• The Pac-12 only has one QB battle (UCLA). “Battle” may be too strong a word for anything happening in Westwood right now.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff does the same in the SEC. DRAMA.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel and Andy Staples have ten reasons to be excited about college football. Number 11? Staples/Mandel collabo column. Duh.

• ESPN has interviews with conference commissioners. They’re as exciting as you think they are.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s Rob Moseley has an Oregon practice update.

• Georgia LB Jarvis Jones has been cleared by the NCAA.

• It’s SEC Week in DrSaturdayville. Read, absorb, learn.

• Nebraska has a WR/QB. I’m officially calling the position a “Qwibber” (QWBR).

• Rivals previews the Pokes. Yee-haw.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is world record parallel parking. Yes, that exists.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeFNunnYiKY

Enjoy your Tuesday. Fashion!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michael McKean, the only Carnegie Mellon graduate to also be a member of Spinal Tap. Beat that.

*****

• Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher‘s son is battling a rare blood disorder. Strong wishes from the Click Chorus.

• Arizona State LB Vontaze Burfict blew up a teammate. Quick, everybody act surprised.

• Michigan WR Darryl Stonum has been forced to redshirt this year after a DUI plea. Ty thinks it’s laughable to compare the situation to Michael Floyd‘s, which is true, it appears Michigan may desire a higher standard under Brady Hoke. Apples and golden oranges.

• The Longhorn Network contract is analyzed by Outkick the Coverage’s Clay Travis. Allegedly.

• It’s QB John Brantley‘s turn in Florida. Again.

• Nebraska QB Bubba Starling, who definitely is playing baseball and not football, didn’t practice and isn’t on the roster. So other than that…

• ESPN is all-accessing Florida. Photographs!

• Fox Sports’s Andrew Astleford profiles Missouri QB James Franklin, who may do the unthinkable and finish in the top half of some Big 12 passing categories, eclipsing the immortal standard set my Blaine Gabbert.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has been saving his West Virginia preview for a special occasion. Or today, either way.

• Boise State has gotten around the Mountain West‘s unfair blue-on-blue ban. Brilliant.

• Michigan St DT Jerel Worthy has immortalized his disdain for the Maize and Blue.

• Wrap up Pac-12 Week with Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday.

• Virginia Tech gets the latest Rivals preview treatment. LUNCHPAILS!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the (DECIDEDLY NSFW) trailer for The Sitter.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYvj9J0GLsU

Enjoy your Monday. Clothing is purchasable.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the always-dreamy Harry Hamlin, Yale graduate. Excuse me, after last night, it’s Big Dog, Yale graduate (NSFW language).

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks with paralyzed Rutgers player Eric LeGrand about kickoffs.

• Nebraska QB signee Bubba Starling is still figuring out if he wants to take $7.5 million from the Kansas City Royals. Good one!

• Syracuse WR Marcus Sales is quite serious about the drugs that may or may not belong to him in his vehicle. Felony drug charges now exist for Sales.

• Illinois LB Ashante Williams has been suspended indefinitely. So So Indef.

• You were all probably wondering if Terrelle Pryor‘s high school mentor was cleared three years ago of improper booster behavior, right?. Good news for all.

• Fox Sports Houston talks the 2011 schedule of… Houston. I know, right?

• Need a little Holgorsen to get your August started? Of course you do.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Georgia, a team with numbers in all of the right places (except the pesky W-L columns).

• UCF coach George O’Leary just wants to be liked. By everyone.

• More B1G team previews and conference forecasting are now available (FREE) as Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday concludes B1G Week.

• Penn State QB Paul Jones (former 5*) will miss 2011 with academic issues.

• USC is the latest Rivals team preview. Again, these Rivals previews would be a good place to start learning about more than just the QB’s name when you talk about a team (ahem, anonymous TV analysts).

• Michigan DC Greg Mattison is getting bizzay in Ann Arbor. I’m so in touch.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an older lady being thrown about and terrified in Corvette. Always funny.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cTR9Ak6X9U

Enjoy your Monday. Support the Verbal.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mila Kunis. She has a movie out. I feel like this is enough.

*****

• North Carolina DC Everett Withers is now the interim coach of the Tar Heels. As Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday notes, the good news is that Withers oversaw the “worst statistical defense in Big Ten history. Woo.

• North Carolina‘s AD peacedthefugout.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall profiles the demise of Butch Davis. Management speak is abound.

• Mr. Hall also has everything you need to know about yesterday’s B1G media day. It’s the funniest thing you’ll read today.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini spoke at relative length about the 2011 season and Nebraska’s B1G introduction.

• ESPN has B1G media day notes. They’re not nearly as funny as the above link.

• Jerry Kill. That’s all.

• Fox Sports Ohio looks at Ohio State coach Luke Fickell’s day yesterday. And the HATERZ.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer looks at Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott and how the Pac-12 Networks came about. My hypothesis? He isn’t Tom Hanson.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks ahead at the Pac-12′s business model (straight cash homey).

• USC QB Matt Barkley goes Irish, and it’s fantastic.

• ESPN anonymously ranks Big 12 RBs. Fozzy checks in at #10.

• ESPN blogger screengrabs are just the best.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelsen profiles Syracuse LB Adam Harris. It includes the quote, “I didn’t dislike Cornell by any means…” Liar.

• The Big East has some major DBs. And defensive backs.

• The Sporting News’s Matt Hayes profiles ASU LB Vontaze Burfict. Everyone read it before it’s too late…

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday previews Penn State and their QBs who will stop at nothing to make sure every pass is caught by somebody on the field.

• Former Nebraska QB Cody Green has landed at Tulsa. He noted, “Wait, where’d everyone go?”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features the finest physical injuries of the past 29 days. Huzzah!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrYQpMeHmMY

Enjoy your Friday/summer fashions!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brooklyn Decker, anonymous North Carolina fan and actress(ish) in a new movie called Battleship. Based on Battleship the board game. I blame everyone but her for how horrible it’ll be.

*****

• Butch Davis is out at North Carolina. Not totally unexpected, but the timing is such that UNC must REALLY not want anything to do with him. Interesting.

SI.com’s Andy Staples has questions. Such a sleuth.

Was it the whole cheating thing? Maybe?

ESPN’s Heather Dinich reviews possible UNC interim candidates.

• Gunner Kiel, the nation’s unanimous #1 HS QB prospect chose … Indiana. How many times do you think IU coach Kevin Wilson used the word “Bradford” during conversations? 71,000? 73,000?

• The Pac-12 Network was expected. We got Pac-12 NetworkS. In a year, you won’t be able to avoid Jeff Tedford‘s face. So, yeah.

• Oklahoma State has new uniforms. The gray lids have a fan in me.

• When Oregon WR coach Scott Frost leaves Eugene for Nebraska (or whoever gives him an OC job), they’ll be worse off.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has Pac-12 media day notes. I learned that Washington‘s large people are dented.

• ESPN’s David Ubben does the same with the Big 12. Iowa State appears to be tapping the breaks on the whole “tough non-conference schedule” thing.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff profiles Vanderbilt QB Larry Smith, currently Nashville’s most sacked college QB!

• The new voice of FIU football is … former CNN anchor Rick Sanchez? Okeedoke.

• Clay Travis says air conditioning is responsible for Florida sports dominance. Not to be outdone, it’s also responsible for some of my most dominant naps.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Missouri. Don’t tell anyone, but they’re defense has gotten, at times, scary good.

• Thought you knew the rules? Good, now forget everything — SI.com’s Andy Staples has you covered.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it and suggests that Washington could be better sans Jake Locker, something I’ve been saying for at least 10-15 minutes.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday goes green and previews Michigan State. Because they wear green. Brilliant.

• They’re also seeing red as they preview Nebraska. God, I’m so on today.

• Georgia LB (and USC transfer) Jarvis Jones will miss the 2011 season with a shoulder injury.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the next sports to take the world by storm — I call it kicky jumpy mini-volleyball, or KJMV. Sign up now!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ljb6Mne8Mfc

Enjoy your Thursday. Thread up.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by mustachio’d NYU attendee Sarah Silverman. Lady mustaches have yet to bore me.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks SEC commissioner Mike Slive’s hopes and dreams for change in the SEC. If you read between the lines, dropping football as a conference sports seems like a real possibility.

• …And SEC coaches aren’t fans of hopes and dreams.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks the NCAA will listen to Mike Slive and then not listen.

• The EYE also has choice SEC Media Day quotes and summaries from Steve Spurrier, Will Muschamp, Bobby Petrino, and Dan Mullen.

• ESPN has their own choice SEC quotes and moments.

• The NCAA‘s investigation into Auburn and the recruitment of Cam Newton continually has new life. Good thing coach Gene Chizik admonished an NCAA enforcement official at a rules meeting a few weeks ago. Whew!

• Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Or not.

• I hope you’re sitting down … LSU received outdated recruiting video from Will Lyles.

• Former (briefly) Florida RB and current Auburn RB Mike Blakely had his appeal to immediately play for the Tigers denied.

• Florida RB Jeff Demps is still considering a pro track career, which is good because he’s generally the fastest sprinting human in college.

• Texas talks Longhorn Network, which is going to be totally fair, you guys.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner examines the forthcoming Pac-12 Network. He thinks things will finally be coming up Milhouse (Time Warner)!

• How will the B1G respond to Mike Slive. Slowly?

• Big 12 position rankings are FINALLY here, and they’re brought to you by Texas, because legally, every sentence that contains “Big 12” must also contain “Texas.”

• Big East tight ends are ranked. If you knew all of these players, you’re either gifted, nerdy, or run the Big East Coast Bias blog.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Wisconsin, who now have an adjusted loss to UNLV. Cheer up Rebel fans, you now have a math win!

• SI.com’s Tim Layden reminisces about the best team he ever covered, the 1995 Nebraska squad, a team that still gives Steve Spurrier occasional night terrors.

• Auburn has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars … defending allegations tied to the recruitment of Cam Newton.

• North Texas is riding Green Lantern Fever, which, of course, doesn’t exist. And UTEP is doing everything they can to remind you just which sport they play.

• ESPN’s commentator assignments for the 2011 season have been released. Things just got a little bit more Hawkins in here.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Steve Nash being awesome at parking.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXFF5_GIsV0

Enjoy your Thursday. New shirts soon.

***Follow me on the Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Lindsay Sloane, college career unknown. I do know that she went to the same high school as Matt Cassell, she’s briefly in Horrible Bosses and will be in something called “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy.” I enjoy Lindsay Sloane.

*****

• ESPN‘s suing Ohio State for the most valuable commodity of all — INFORMATION.

• Eleven Warriors has the requests from various CFB media for Ohio State documents. My brain is imploding.

• Excerpts from Mike Leach‘s new book, Swing your Sword can be found on Yahoo’s The PostGame (red period).

• Georgia OL Brent Benedict is transferring to Virginia Tech. Once those cows greet you as you drive into Blacksburg, IT’S OVER.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly tries to understand Cincinnati.

• The day has finally come — ESPN RANKS B1G SECONDARIES!!!!!!

• ESPN is previewing impact games well ahead of kickoff and about three weeks ahead of fall camp. And I’m reading them.

• The toxicology reports from the death of Oklahoma LB Austin Box have been released.

• Fox Sports Detroit previews B1G QBs. If you get distracted, there are photographs of random attractive Detroit citizens to take your mind off of football.

• Things were even fishier than we probably even thought with the way ESPN’s Craig James handled the whole “I’m gonna get a coach fired” situation.

• Arizona State doesn’t stop working at 5:00. They try to sell season ticket packages to see a team in an outdated, half-empty stadium at all hours of the night. (via Dr Sat)

• I didn’t even know this existed, but SI.com has recruiting rundowns by 24/7′s Barton Simmons. Start reading ‘em, especially when they’re about Oregon not hurting in the short term on the recruiting trail.

• The Wiz has Army’s 2011 poster schedule. Not pictured: Patti LaBelle.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris, after being absent from some summer workouts (presumably to work on not driving 118 mph) is back working out with the team voluntarily.

• Kansas City Royals OF Bubba Starling is in Lincoln, NE.

• Washington will play San Diego State and LSU next year. Husky games just got way more attractive (physically).

• Oh don’t pretend like you didn’t see a Randy Edsall-inspired ice cream flavor coming.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is part one of a documentary about the recent Tuscaloosa tornado. A giant basketball player is prominently involved.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kevin James, SUNY Cortland attendee. I swear to you, he used to be a funny stand-up. I promise.

*****

• For the first time, Ohio St AD Gene Smith admits that he asked Jim Tressel to resign. I’m guessing “asked” is probably a kind word for “told.” Just guessing though.

• There might not be an NFL season again. Or something.

• B1G commissioner Jim Delaney wouldn’t mind the conference going rogue. Or off the grid. Either one sounds cool.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has a recruiting notebook. I’ll bet it has rad, hand-drawn band logos all over it. Total badass.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris has slowly started paying back the $8500 he owes in traffic fines. As always, money be green.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett speaks with Indiana’s Kevin Wilson. Intensely.

• Big East safeties are ranked. By and large, they outperformed all Big East doorknobs. Nailed it.

• Former Nebraska QB Cody Green might visit USC. A private word to Cody — eating at Chano’s at 1 AM will seem like a fine idea until the next morning.

• Fox Sports Ohio lists “giant killers.” If they did crazy, petite killers, Casey Anthony would’ve been a shoe-in.

• Trust me, LSU QB Jordan Jefferson is a sure-thing to have a great year. I haven’t a single question about him.

• Rivals profiles Hawaii QB Bryant Moniz.

• Washington RB Deontae Cooper tore his ACL. Again.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jake Gyllenhaal vs Wild. Ty apparently loves this stuff.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Snaibcz1-mo

Enjoy your Friday. Purchase!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Regis Philbin, who apparently attended and graduated from Notre Dame. Who knew?

*****

• If you’re the last person who hasn’t read it, here’s Yahoo!’s Will Lyles/Oregon story.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer ponders independence and major football programs.

• The body of Purdue RB Sean Matti was found in a Lake in Indiana. Unspeakably tragic.

• Former UNC DE Mike McAdoo is suing UNC and the NCAA for reinstatement. Nancy Grace is outraged.

• Illinois DL Chris Jones was charged with battery. At least he didn’t have cocaine on him like the last time he was arrested, right?

• Alabama QB A.J. McCarron has a sizable sternum tat. Reason for concern?

• SI.com’s Andy Staples brings the noise with his Cheating for Dummies column.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly includes Yo La Tengo in his USF preview. Also, Bill Connelly never stops.

• Neither does Rivals’s's’s's’s UCF preview, apparently.

• South Carolina DE Jadeveon Clowney is officially a South Carolina DE. Must’ve been waiting for all of the AP results to come back.

• Want Rich Rodriguez’s Michigan house? Sure you do! (via Dr Sat)

• Auburn needs a QB. Soon.

• The Big East has defensive lines, so ESPN feels compelled to rank them.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett echoes what we talked about last week — new Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson is good, but the greatness talk needs to be scaled back.

• The B1G has LBs. But you knew that already.

• A giant combine/tournament is going on on the Nike campus in Portland. ESPN has first-day stories.

• Cincinnati QB Chazz Anderson (DOUBLE Z!) has transferred to Buffalo. RIP multiple Chaz(z)es in the Big East.

• Georgia assistant recruiting coordinator Charles Canton got the hell out of Athens. Peculiar?

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at the B1G challenges ahead for Nebraska.

• Vanderbilt decided to pull a Stanford and recruit smart kids that can also play football.

• Maryland OL Justin Lewis is now persona non grata in College Park, MD.

• Top incoming Texas DT Quincy Russell failed to qualify for the Longhorns.

• Incoming Alabama RB Dee Hart may have torn an ACL. Or maybe not.

• Rivals profiles new Texas Tech DC Chad Glasgow, who promises to be better than the last guy, Chad Edinburgh.

• The Longhorn Network is getting two 2011 Texas games. Hurray!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is mustachio’d monkeys being fascinated by an iPod touch. Of course.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nP73LFhcKY

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy clothing!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former New York School of Visual Arts right tackle Fred Armisen. He also gave a commencement speech.

*****

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris took a leisurely drive (in a dubiously rented car with a suspended license) somewhere in the 118 mph range and state police apparently frowned upon it. Whatever.

• Ohio State introduced new (interim) head coach Luke Fickell. He was asked fair questions and gave back nothing but cliches. Have fun, Columbus media.

• Former Ohio St QB Terrelle Pryor signed yesterday with Drew Rosenhaus and they’ll address the media at 2 PM ET. It promises to be definitely-miss TV.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall plays indoor football with an actual semi-pro team. His spleen is still MIA.

• An excerpt from the 2010-2011 College Basketball Prospectus entitled “The Trouble with Amateurism.” Go get yer learnin’ on. Seriously.

• ESPN’s Chris Low ranks SEC QBs. It’s a two and a half men situation. (The half is Relf, not Jefferson, by the way)

• Nebraska AD Tom Osborne never really liked the Big 12. Rapscallion.

• Penn St QB Robert Bolden is still (as of now) enrolled at Penn St. So there you go.

• Football Study Hall thinks Notre Dame has a chance to go HAM on their schedule. Also, I’m using the term “HAM” as often as possible since learning its meaning.

• Giant sports agency IMG is getting in on the 7-on-7 game. Of course.

• Hawaii REALLY didn’t want to honor a scholarship offer.

• Florida Atlantic safety Cortez Ash was arrested for stealing 400 pounds of copper, or around $1,200 dollars worth. They were THIS close to running the most kickass counterfeit penny ring in all of Indian River County. Damn.

• The NCAA is inviting 50 school presidents to a retreat. Emmert’s taking care of the mallows.

• Rivals has position-specific rankings for the recruiting class of 2012.

• NC State QB Mike Glennon is profiled. He’s tall.

• Florida St kicker Dustin Hopkins takes on a Florida St women’s soccer player in a kicking challenge. An uncomfortable microphone and two superfluous minutes are involved.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Conan’s commencement speech to the Dartmouth class of 2011. Finally, Ivy League kids catch a break.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmDYXaaT9sA

Enjoy your Tuesday. Buy things at our store.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college attendee Matthew Broderick, who has the distinct honor of now being 25 years removed from his best work AND being married to Sarah Jessica Parker. I just made myself sad for no reason.

*****

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart officially resigned, making OC/brief coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen the new Mountaineer head coach.

• Did Jim Tressel and Ohio State receive a warning email about alleged Buckeye memorabilia seller Dennis Talbott in 2007? Some say probably.

• Wisconsin WR Nick Toon commented on possible QB transfer Russell Wilson. NOT COOL (if you care about dumb secondary NCAA violations).

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik got PAID. Oversized leather jackets for everyone!

• SI.com’s Andy Staples suggests that perhaps West Virginia didn’t handle the whole “coach-in-waiting” thing properly. How dare he.

• Don’t pretend like LSUFreek wasn’t ready for Stewart/Holgo ’11.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has a roundup of the weekend’s non-AQ excitement. Summary: Houston QB Case Keenum‘s got a wife, Wyoming‘s got a HS kid starting at QB, etc.

• Nebraska QB transfer Cody Green is looking at Big 12 schools. You don’t just pass up a chance to sometimes play on regional Fox Sports networks, you guys.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich is totally down with Virginia Tech’s 2011 defense. Way out on a limb there, Heather.

• Did Ohio State players get free golf? I’ll say………… “yes.”

• Penn St coach Joe Paterno uses an iMac bigger than Joe Paterno to skype with recruits. COMETOPENNSTATE (signs off accidentally).

• Notre Dame and Michigan will play under the lights in Michigan Stadium wearing retro uniforms. Michigan wins the thread war.

• Former Ohio St coach Jim Tressel says “Thanks but no thanks” to the mandatory coaching seminar he would’ve had to attend if he were still coaching.

• Florida St coach Jimbo Fisher really wants to do this commercial. Really, he does. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a performance from last night’s Tony Awards from “The Book of Mormon,” the musical written by the South Park guys, which i kind of need to see immediately.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tggtPHDmrR8

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Mike Nobler, the video director for Nebraska football, about managing video data for coaches, tagging a massive database of plays, the impact of new capabilities on pre-game preparation, and the next frontier for technology in the college game.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Steve Buscemi, former OLB for the Lee Strasberg Film and Theater Institute football team. Ok that was a joke … he played left guard.

*****

• Beyond the emails, former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel probably had a kick-ass text messaging plan. Go unlimited or go home, son.

• Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton resigned this morning. You’d think he’d be given a longer leash after BOTH of his hires of coaches in revenue sports ran afoul of the NCAA and can be considered thorough Tennessee failures. Sheesh.

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart asked local reporters for dirt on OC/CIW Dana Holgorsen in the days before he was hired, leading to the recent leaks that Holgorsen was asked to leave casinos early in the morning. Fall camp is going to be FUN.

• WVU AD Oliver Luck gave an interview to 93.7 The Fan in Pittsburgh this morning. Here are some quotes.

• Top incoming Nebraska QB Bubba Starling was taken 5th overall in the MLB Draft. I believe Steve Miller said it best.

• Tommy Tuberville is an increasingly silly man.

• Mike Leach is an increasingly logical and bright man.

• Football Study Hall pumps out an Arizona State preview. ASU LB Vontaze Burfict just murdered Football Study Hall.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers review the 2010 ESPNU 150 selections after their freshman years. The SEC appears to have a lot of entries.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson talks to Rutgers coach Greg Schiano. I wonder if Rutgers fans still say things to each other like, “Hey remember 2006? That was AWESOME.”

• The Mountain West has a new logo. Oh and this is their time. Or something.

• Georgia is excited for new enormous NT John Jenkins.

• Former USC RB coach Todd McNair, the coach at the center of the NCAA‘s investigation of Reggie Bush, is formally suing the NCAA for “libel, slander, tortious interference with prospective economic advantage, tortious interference with contractual relations, breach of contract, negligence and declaratory relief.” That kind of thing.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has officially stopped sleeping and has moved on to slamming the SEC over banning graduates from other programs from transferring to an SEC school and playing immediately. Also, he lists the top 25 jobs in college football.

• USC MLB Devon Kennard is now USC DE Devon Kennard.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of the greatest movie threats ever. You better watch (language NSFW fo-sho) …

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbIlLmCID5g

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel. In the back of my mind, you’re getting the 24-style silent clock countdown treatment. Good night, sweet prince (of alleged corruption).

*****

Ahem…

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has officially coached his last game for the Buckeyes after resigning amid pressure from those around him at the university. Interim head coach Luke Fickell keeps the tag, but now with more games tacked on.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor is the subject of an investigation by both Ohio State and the NCAA regarding his ever-expanding car collection and other illegal benefits allegedly received.

• SI’s George Dohrmann conducted an investigation into the scope of the benefits that Ohio State players had come to receive during the Tressel era.

• Ohio State blog Eleven Warriors thoroughly analyzes the above investigation in the expected partisan manner they should have.

• Oh and ESPN analyst Urban Meyer will not pursue any filled jobs for this fall. Good for him.

• Current and former Buckeyes react to the news. Former Buckeye WR Ray Small was particularly poignant.

• ESPN’s Bruce Feldman throws out some replacement ideas.

• Finally, some reactions — Yahoo!!!!!”s Dan Wetzel expects snowballing … Fox Sports’s Bruce Hooley talks about Tressel losing his cred … SI.com’s Andy Staples says it’s all his fault … CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders how OSU AD Gene Smith is surviving.

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgersen has actually been involved in at least six “alcohol-related incidents” in the past six months. And no, he doesn’t seem like a good guy to party with.

• Remember that random elite DL recruit from Florida who announced for New Mexico last year? He’s done with New Mexico.

• South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia was quietly reinstated by Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier. Shhhhh.

• Nebraska QB Cody Green is transferring out of Lincoln. Boise State is a name that has surfaced. Ugh, which probably means that he’ll have a good shot into developing into a complete QB. Meh.

• SEC spring meetings begin today. ESPN’s Chris Low has a preview. It’s like rock and roll but the exact opposite.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is straightforward and to the point — May Failures (I refuse to use the word “fail” as a noun).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrO-qVywKD0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Mike Hall from Big Ten Network about the conference’s offseason storylines, the impact his network has had on college football, and his unconventional path to becoming an anchor.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you once again by NC State alumnus Zach Galafianakis, star of Between Two Ferns and other things that may come out soon.

*****

• Ole Miss dismissed DE Delvin Jones and LB Clarence Jackson after they were arrested for public drunkenness. It was not the first trouble either had been in. I know, right?

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd proposes an idea to have Auburn-Alabama scrimmage in August to raise money for tornado relief. It’s such a good idea that it isn’t even his. Don’t worry, no credit was given.

• Illinois AD Ron Guenther announced his formal retirement. To be safe, Ron Zook better get a letter of rec sooner rather than later.

• ESPN College Gameday will begin the season at the Oregon-LSU game in Dallas. A victory for those that prefer their pre-game college football coverage in a sterile, safe setting. YES!

• Cal coach Jeff Tedford reminisced about the old days at Fresno State. I can’t wait until some ranked team cockily strides into Fresno and loses — I’m never going to stop with the, “You don’t come into the SJV talking that mess!” jokes. Never.

• Nebraska AD Tom Osborne backs Jim Tressel in the Ohio State coach’s ongoing struggle. Whenever a former coach who famously started a player right after that player threw a woman down a flight of stairs calls, YOU LISTEN.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has a tidy SEC spring wrap. He tries dutifully to say nice things about LSU QB Jordan Jefferson.

• Minnesota gets the Football Outsiders treatment. Summary: If they’re going to win, it’ll be because of the offense.

• Anchor of Gold has a Vanderbilt offensive preview. More on this later.

• Oregon‘s OL gets a boost with the return of C Hamani Stevens, who left the school to complete a Mormon mission. Of course, he hasn’t put on pads in two years, he’s not in Eugene or enrolled in the school, so let’s all temper our collective excitement for now.

• New Florida WR Ja’Juan Story likes to poop and listen to Katy Perry.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the preview for the NBC show, “The Playboy Club.” It’s all the sexiness of Playboy and the early 60s mixed with the horrible development and generally misguided sensibilities of NBC.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-dnE5NtJDs

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Salma Hayek. It’s Cinco de Mayo. She’s from Mexico. My logic is very tidy.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Bryan Fischer examines the new Pac-12 media rights deal. He does everything he can not to let it slip that everyone in the conference somehow now has a condition in which their pupils now take the shape of dollar signs.

• The US Department of Justice has officially become involved with the BCS, sending the NCAA a simple question — why isn’t there a playoff? Officially, the NCAA has resonded with, “Well, I, um, er, you see…” Psh, amateurs (allegedly).

• ESPN’s Ted Miller speaks with Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott. Things were going swimmingly until Mr. Scott made it monsoon over an ashamed, yet accepting Miller.

• EA Sports is in the clear after a US District Court dismissed former UCLA basketball player Ed O’Bannon’s lawsuit against the company. No word yet on how this affects Ty’s desire to ask uncomfortable questions to Russ Kiniry.

• EDSBS has updated Fulmer Cup rankings. Welcome back, Oregon!

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg uses the word “brand” to look at Nebraska’s role in college football. I’ll let that speak for itself.

He also looks at what he learned this spring in the B1G Ten. He implies that Jerry Kill may be spicy, whatever that means.

• It seems as if football players either like to or need to get high to get through 3-5 years at an SEC school. They may even bake it right into casseroles at the cafeterias.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans takes five of the bigger stories in college football and re-summarizes them. We all have quotas.

• Oklahoma is getting new state of the art dorms. Everything sounds positive, but the nondescript white-shadowy people shown in the picture give me pause.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connolly goes in-depth with Iowa State. I don’t know what it all means, but I feel a bit smarter for it all.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel checks in with a decidedly Tressel-free mailbag.

• Washington‘s starting QB is officially not Joe Montana’s kid and is officially Keith Price.

• Arizona State girls ran around in their underwear. I’m not exactly sure why, but if I had to guess, I would think Fox Sports had something to do with it.

*****

Today’s VIdeo of the Day is a short film done by Damon Lindelof, one of Lost’s head writers. It involves farting and Nazis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu9SIDBEYgQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by high school graduate and folk legend James Taylor. He’s had countless hits, a career that’s spanned decades, and most importantly, he kind of looks like Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott. At times this week, I’ve secretly wanted Larry Scott to break down into an acoustic “Sweet Baby James” during conference media announcements, but perhaps I’ve said too much.

*****

• All of the particulars of the Pac-12′s new media deal have now been released. ESPN and Fox will pay a combined $250 million/year for the right to broadcast football and basketball games, with a yet-to-be-determined Pac-12 proprietary network (TV and digital) showing everything else. Everybody appears excited, but I’ll hold off until I see a schedule and Fox Sports production value, thanks.

• Boise State self-imposed sanctions over violations that would make your head tilt slightly askew. The sanctions include three fewer football practices and three fewer scholarships. They really hit themselves where it slightly pricks for a second or two.

• Former NC St QB Russell Wilson is a free agent. Where should he go? I think we all know the answer — Lehigh. Next question.

• Who’s going to throw for 3k yards in the B1G Ten? Pretty much everyone other than Taylor Martinez, that’s who.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has a post-spring Top 25. Florida State is #3 so you KNOW he knows what he’s doing. Or something.

• Washington State QB Jeff Tuel is out for blood. I like Jeff Tuel.

• Fox Sports Southwest runs down the new Big Twen coordinators. And as always, because it’s Fox, there are pictures of girls.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Uma Thurman + ginger ale. And it’s really odd.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Tc7ZB4ywUI

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Hugh Grant, Oxford graduate. He is awarded this honor because apparently, two important people are getting married in England this week. Also, Grant is foppish. I think somebody actually invented the word “foppish” to describe Grant.

*****

• Ohio State officially received its notice of allegations from the NCAA, who are total HATERZ.

• More Florida players favor herbal remedies. Oh and pot. Lots of pot.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini signed a new contract a few weeks ago. I was sworn to secrecy, but one major incentive includes provisions for a curved hat bill that surpasses all geometric laws.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi wasn’t exactly wowed by the passing display put on in Ohio State’s Pryor-less spring game. He was, however, smitten with Jim Tressel’s boots.

• Rich Rodriguez spoke to CBS Sports bloggers about various football and personal topics. I didn’t read everything, so I’ll just assume he accuses most of the Michigan athletic department of being furries.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with Wisconsin’s running backs. West Coast Kevin may be right in openly wondering why we’ve never seen Rittenberg’s legs. The smart money is on him as a hovering Big-10 blogger.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller very politely points out that UCLA wasn’t very good in its spring game Saturday night.

He also accidentally becomes half of the greatest college football video screengrab of all time while interviewing USC defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin.

• FoxSports’s Lisa Horne reviews USC’s spring game. She was impressed by the secondary, which had the ideal assignment of playing against USC’s passing game.

• Oregon has specific spring game uniforms that feature camouflage and military-type ribbons. I’m given credit for the picture, even though I’m always roughly 850 miles from the Oregon locker room at all times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at Texas A&M and wonders if the winning belief is strong in College Station. He also rips six east Texas BBQ shacks for having too many vinegar molecules in their sauce. Perfectionist, that Staples.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it up for the first time this spring. He doesn’t seem to be as in love with Oregon as others might be at this point, which clearly points to him being a HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden, the Danny Almonte of Big 12 QBs.

• A site has been created with the sole purpose of trying to get Cam Newton to take a lie detector test. Newton would in turn receive one million dollars for answer four questions related to his recruitment. Must be nice to have so much disposable income without the cares of perspective, rational behavior, or basic intelligence.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Our Idiot Brother.” Paul Rudd’s sweater makes me giggle.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oglpsxVjRY

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the excellent Aisha Tyler, Dartmouth graduate and Archer (season finale tonight) voicestress.

*****

• UMass is joining the MAC. Forget everything you know.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart eulogizes the great career of legendary UNC broadcaster Woody Durham. No snark here — very little in sports is ever cooler than a old, trusted play by play guy.

• Harvey Updyke, the Alabama fan who poisoned the trees at Auburn‘s Toomer’s Corner, was attacked at a gas station after a court hearing. S-E-C! S-E-C!

• Virginia Tech is playing around with defensive line depth. DT Antoine Hopkins appears to be a name to remember, though unfortunately, it’ll probably get used with the word “lunch pail” and “blue collar.”

• The attorney general from the state of Utah is suing the BCS over the organization’s alleged status as an “illegal monopoly.” This will only end in almost nobody caring.

• Minnesota is all about tempo. Low and slow it is not.

• Northwestern and Stanford have agreed to a series of games. Most people are looking at this from a perspective of two esteemed academic institutions meeting, which is good enough for me.

• Michigan State‘s next step? Staying good every year, at least until being throttled by an SEC team on New Years.

• Speaking of which. Fox Sports Detroit profiles OL Arthur Ray, who, if there’s any justice in the world, should be flattening people come September.

• Oh and now you’re going to tell me cocaine trafficking should be off-limits for Duke linebackers?

• Touted high school QB Zeke Pike committed to Auburn. Zeke!

• Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen is doing a swell job in Starkville. This is all going to be quite uncomfortable when he leaves in the next two years.

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez has separated himself from the pack, at least for now. Sort of.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Terri” which looks good and makes me want to wear pajamas. Well, more.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpUzuZGiPho

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on AdultFriendFinder.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michigan alum Rich Eisen, who, if the NFL lockout continues, could find himself with a lot of time to enjoy Michigan Stadium’s new video board.

*****

• Iowa DB Willie Lowe, one of the Hawkeye players who suffered from rhabdomyolysis, asked for his release from the program.

• Arizona State took a big hit with star CB Omar Bolden and WR TJ Simpson both going down with torn ACLs. They’ll still beat Arizona.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich predicts 1,000 yd ACC running backs and has now decided to include my new favorite, Wake Forest RB Josh Harris. ‘Bout time.

• TCU has new uniforms and helmets.

• ESPN’s Chris Low has an Arkansas status update. As far as I can tell, the Hogs and RB Knile Davis are In a Relationship. See what I did there?

• A Pac-12 Network is a “done deal” for 2012. I’m already aimlessly sending out my resumé.

• More of those Ohio State gold pants medallions have hit the open market … on the History Channel. Cool?

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has some observations from Buckeye practice in Columbus. Quick, somebody check his pockets for gold pants!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett does the same from Pitt. He seems keen on coach Todd Graham.

• Fox Sports Florida looks at the new ways Gator coach Will Muschamp is running the Gators. I didn’t read the whole thing, but I assume this involves “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” sing-a-longs in the locker room.

• Rivals profiles new Baylor DC Phil Bennett and previews Kansas State’s spring.

• Nebraska turned down the Big Ten Network‘s offer to broadcast their spring game for fear that somebody would study the tape. Hark!

• Michigan is installing a new ginormous video board in Michigan Stadium. It’s expected to work well for awhile but still need some rebuilding.

• Ole Miss‘s new black bear mascot met with children. They weren’t all thrilled.

• Oregon DE Terrell Turner is out for the spring with a leg injury. You may remember him from such video situations as “towering over Ty and laughing.”

• The Name of the Year bracket is finally up!!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the new music video from The Lonely Island, containing language that’s nowhere near safe for your work.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N24fVEJyQKM

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Harvard alum Rivers Cuomo. I’ve never said this until now, but a pretty significant part of me wants to destroy his sweater. Whew, that felt right.

*****

• Pac-12 TV rights hit the open market today. Here’s a rundown of the favorites to land conference media rights. I’m positive by the time all is said and done, I’ll be watching Oregon games on Oprah‘s third regional network in standard definition.

• Noted shady person Willie Lyles allegedly asked Texas A&M $80,000 to deliver Patrick Peterson. Peterson and his father were outraged and denied any association with Lyles. And then a Rivals reporter confirmed THREE YEARS AGO that Peterson and his father went to Houston specifically to visit Lyles. Whoops indeed!

• Well then, Ohio State blog Eleven Warriors looks … different today.

• ESPN’s David Ubben made the trek to College Station and returns with Texas A&M practice notes. Because it’s his job, that’s why.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg does the same in Evanston for Northwestern, but uses bullet points. Ohyoufancyhuh?

• When Nebraska plays a team with a decent defense, their offense is going to be way better. Srsly, you guys.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at Cal’s offense and the news that coach Jeff Tedford is once again in control.

• It seems that New Mexico coach Mike Locksley can finally be terminated and not be paid a quadrillion dollars. Advanced economics!

• Colorado QB Tyler Hansen implies that there perhaps, maybe, kind of, sort of, probably was a touch of nepotism in former coach Dan Hawkins playing QB Cody Hawkins so much. Intriguing.

• Verbie-nominated Tweeter and Ole Miss DE Kentrell Lockett has been granted a sixth year of eligibility. #excitement

• Rivals previews Ohio State’s spring. Quiet quiet quiet.

• The Texas spring game will be on ESPN. The secrety secrets will be exposed!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is our ol’ pal at SI.com, Andy Staples, talkin’ jorts.

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is (again) brought to you by Tommy Lee, brief Nebraska drummer, and longtime strip club enthusiast. Who would’ve thought that yesterday would’ve brought the Fiesta Bowl CEO and Lee one step closer?

*****

• Fiesta Bowl CEO John Junker was fired for being laughably corrupt — using bowl funds to, among other things, underwrite strip club excursions, golf vacations, and political contribution reimbursements. If you’re going to go out, this is the way to go.

• Four former Auburn players spoke with HBO about the pay-for-play scheme they were involved in while in school. Just warning you — the uninformed manufactured reaction-outrage from sportswriters is much worse than anything in this story.

SB Nation has a good summary of the madness.

• Florida State‘s spring is primed. If they’re good this year, get ready for as many “Manuel/Manual” puns as you can handle.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has eyes everywhere, and this case they’re his as he attends a Colorado practice and sends in some bullet points.

• Here’s an early look at ESPN’s game broadcast schedule. It appears that the Auburn spring game is only offered via pay-per-view.

• Nebraska DT Jared Crick will miss spring practice because of a knee injury. Think nothing of it, rest of B1G Ten.

• Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt literally has a circle of trust. Literally.

• Oregon practice opened yesterday. RB Lache Seastrunk was faster than everyone.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a heated argument between twin babies that can’t yet form words or sentences.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JmA2ClUvUY

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan are joined by Jake Trotter from The Oklahoman to discuss Oklahoma as the preseason No. 1 team, the future of the Big 12, and annual Bob Stoops coaching rumors.  Plus, Verballer e-mails.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Pat Sajak, Columbia College (Chicago) alumnus. I condsidered using him alongside Trebek in last week’s video, but there’s just too much damn clapping and crazy sounds behind his voice. Gotta keep it clean, Wheel.

*****
• Touted UCF QB signee DaMarcus Smith asked for his release just a few weeks after signing day. This is after a last-minute switch to UCF from Louisville. I’m guessing Smith is the annoying guy at the table who asks for a couple more minutes while everyone else is ready to order. Twice.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer previews Oregon’s spring. He has the audacity to use the word “Yruretagoyena.”

• Penn State DE Pete Massaro tore his ACL and will miss the 2011 season. And this is after WR Curtis Drake broke his leg last week.

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel signed things last week while weird looking people looked on. There’s no way this series of photographs can be described more accurately.

• Things are a-changin’ in Minnesota. KILLLLLL.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller attended a Utah practice and now he thinks he knows everything. Ok, he knows enough for six solid bullet points.

He also lists Pac-12 QB depth charts.

• Urban Meyer goes to a Notre Dame practice and watches them hit each in close confines. Settle down.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Nebraska practice bullet points. Only four, though. Point Miller.

• Lane Kiffin, actor.

• Football Study Hall statifies the Houston Cougars. You knew this was coming. Statify!

• FX will show a weekly game this fall from a pool of Pac-12, Big 12, and Conference USA games. Game changer. Something else.

• The Pac-12 is considering Sunday games if the NFL lockout continues. Fun.

• Illinois is having a series of practices this spring. Rivals’s Tom Dienhart confirms this.

• Rivals also previews UCLA and Rutgers. Yes, this is the meat of the Click Chorus.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best 90s Internet warning video I’ve seen all day. I now know that mustachioed sleeveless men are skeevy. Saved me a lot of time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yo_24bC_cM

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community’s Yvette Nicole Brown, a proud Akron graduate who should be watching the Zips upset Notre Dame today. You laughed yesterday at my Morehead State reference and look what happened. Don’t doubt me! Or the Zips!

*****

• The NCAA upheld the suspensions of five Ohio State players for selling memorabilia, and then Buckeye coach Jim Tressel self-extended his own suspension to five gamesfor not disclosing knowledge. Who would’ve thunk it would’ve all happened during day one of the NCAA Tournament? Amazing!

Oh and the NCAA hasn’t ruled on Tressel yet so it’s all just PR at this point. Still amazing!

SI’s Andy Staples writes about this using more words than I’m willing to give you for free.

• FINALLY, somebody writes something about Florida’s spring.

• NBC Miami is reporting that up to six Miami players will be suspended for their home opener against Maryland. This story seems to agree with the earlier OT Seantrel Henderson rumor.

• GQ says LSU fans are the tenth worst in all of sports. The picture they chose to illustrate this, well, doesn’t.

• ESPN’s David Ubben bullet points what he saw in Columbia during Missouri’s spring practice. The word “Gabbert” is tossed around quite a bit, whatever that means.

• EDSBS has a condiment bracket. This has nothing to do with college football and everything to do with condiments. Oh and it’s mostly incorrect.

• An Auburn blog is outraged with an off-air Paul Finebaum speech in which he (hark!) seems very much pro-Alabama.

• Rivals Primers: Florida State and Arizona. All Some Stoopseseses must go!!

• Hey Nebraska players, don’t get fat. Thanks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is movie titles said aloud in movies. Jumanji!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V1sYNvKZt8

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Adam Jacobi about Iowa’s path forward, Ohio State’s turmoil and Words With Friends.  Plus, a very special presentation from Tim Hyland of About.com.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU alum Aubrey Plaza. Ugh, whatever.

*****

• The other man in the Yahoo!!!!!! recruiting service story, Baron Flenory, opens up about his former recruiting service and defends allegations of steering kids to Oregon. Scandal!

• CBS Sports’s Adam Jacobi previews Nebraska’s spring. He’s as optimistic as anyone can be over spring practice.

• Speaking of which, here’s vintage Nebraska video inspiration. Go to seven minutes in and soak it all in. And by “it,” I mean an insane Christian Peter (via edsbs).

• South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia has been suspended for the start of spring practice for disciplinary reasons stemming from having two girls in his hotel room pre-Chick fil A Bowl. I’m outraged.

• Missouri has to replace QB Blaine Gabbert. Luckily, they have pro surfer Laird Hamilton to make the tough QB decisions.

• Things are going to be “blue collar” at Florida, says new Florida coach Will Muschamp. Terrific. I hope this means the coach will operate a crane or do some welding before and after games.

• Is Iowa under-signing? Possibly.

• The lawyer who tipped off Ohio State coach Jim Tressel is receiving death threats. I can’t imagine why Kirk Herbstreit wanted to leave such a beautiful place.

• Rivals previews North Carolina’s spring. They do the same for NC State, only it links to the UNC page. Well-played!

• Colorado QB Tyler Hanson is doing an admirable job so far this spring, according to a guy named “Rip.”

• The first look EA Sports’s NCAA ’12. Sports Nerd Pr0n!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best ukelele Journey cover ever done by an Israeli-born troubadour. Trust me.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Boston College alum Amy Poehler. She’ll probably never come down from the high associated with this specific achievement.

*****

• The lawyer who tipped off Ohio State coach Jim Tressel to the activities and associations of five of his players has been identified. He seems, well, interesting.

• Florida practices are closed to everyone. Intrigue! Or just inconvenience and undeserved self-importance after a bad year.

• Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson can get sassy.

• Boise State hosted the Oklahoma coaching staff. “Hey remember when we came back with the hook and… yeah.”

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Charles Robinson isn’t done breaking hearts.

• ESPN’s Chris Low gets all sorts of detailed about Georgia’s spring.

• Oregon State could look relatively different (see: possibly no Rodgerseseses) this fall.

• Easy classes for Stanford athletes will be harder to find after a “courses of interest” list has been discontinued. Poor, poor Stanford kids.

• Things on offense may get a bit “simpler” at Nebraska.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel got off easy when he received his Big 12 preview assignment and saw that he only had to look at ten questions.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday issues a first glance at Nevada going forward. And then a second, third, and fourth. He’s thorough.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart examines LSU. SPOILER: Everything looks pretty good except for the most important position.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall advises the NCAA on how to govern social media. Sex, drugs, and Satan are all in there.

• SB Nation has a new stat-minded football blog. Huzzah!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a 1982 Advertiser Promotion Tape from MTV. Radical.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlQntJI8UPE

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Washington graduate Anna Faris. She’s attractive, in a new movie that seems like it could be good, and is married to Andy Dwyer. Good enough for me.

*****

• Iowa released a statement reacting to Sports Illustrated’s story regarding the criminal histories of college football players. In conclusion, some Iowa players got drunk before they turned 21.

• Boise State did the same and noted that of the 16 reported offenses, “three have been dismissed, six were traffic related, five were alcohol related, one was for trespassing and one was for battery.” So it looks like the Broncos will press on in lieu of the horrors SI is reporting.

• Additionally, SI‘s story singled out Pitt as a program with players responsible for a number of crimes. And then the story of Pitt OL Fernando Diaz getting tased four times as he resisted arrest came out. Oops.

• After offseason review and the hiring of former NFL VP of Officiating Mike Pereira as a consultant, the Pac-12 has rid itself of 11 referees. Exciting.

• Arizona WR Bug Wright is no longer part of the team. He looked to be a crucial member of a squad expected to be ranked early and then fade late in 2011.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller wraps up the  Pac-12‘s performance at the NFL Scouting Combine. It’s mostly about large people.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett quickly profiles second year Louisville coach Charlie Strong. Lou-uh-vull.

• UConn is down some cash after winning the Big East and failing to convince its fans that the Fiesta Bowl is worth the hassle. Pretty airtight logic.

• A Cecil Newton audio recording has been released, though the term “audio” is open to interpretation.

• New NCAA president Mark Emmert is open to a playoff. This means nothing.

• Did Iowa‘s rhabdo outbreak scare off five-star OT Cyrus Kouandjio from signing with the Hawkeyes? No, it’d be the whole “living in Iowa” thing that did that.

• The new ESPN/Texas network has hired production executives. Adjust your day accordingly.

• Purdue has a new Nike uniform that looks a lot like a Purdue uniform.

• Want to know where Nebraska DE Cameron Meredith stands politically? Wonder no more.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a gut being hit by a pellets from an airsoft gun at 1280 frames per second. It’s transfixing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWQC9AFAr0

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by South Carolina native Vanna White. I can’t imagine she’s happy after Jadeveon Clowney chose the Gamecocks over her own Atlanta Institute of Fashion. Also, White is only the sixth Chorus sponsor to have both “lesbian affair” and knitting” in the same Wikipedia “Personal Life” section.

*****

• Prized DE recruit Jadeveon Clowney announced that he will be attending South Carolina (over Alabama or Clemson) this fall. And 5-7 other yet-to-be-determined recruits will be told they’ll be leaving on their own accord soon. Exciting times!

Oh, and there are eligibility questions.

Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at where this puts South Carolina.

Who wrote about Clowney committing to a sandwich? I’ll tell you who — Spencer Hall of EDSBS, that’s who! Oh ok, that makes sense.

• Arizona State RB Deantre Lewis was shot this past weekend, but apparently avoided any serious injury. That’s a pretty great second part of a sentence to write.

• The Pac-12 has hired former VP of Officiating for the NFL Mike Pereira to overhaul their officiating program. Pac-12 officiating blogs are collectively abuzz.

• 2010 was awful for Texas. Important people anonymously tell us what happened. And now there are MS Paint penises to show you the Longhorns’ offseason in detail. Of course there are.

• ESPN’s bloggers compile valentines to various teams from readers. I’m operating under the assumption that most of the Big East entries are written by made-up people.

Similarly, from the bloggers themselves, there are also valentines and  heartbreakers . Get it? HAHAHAHAH kinda.

• Seattle Seahawks secondary coach Jerry Gray signed with Texas in the same capacitiy for a bit, but has now left to become the DC for the Tennessee Titans. In response, recently-hired Arizona DB coach Duane Akina is going back to Texas to coach the secondary, the same position he held last year. Hurray!

• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is officially getting paid. The right way.

• The latest from the Sam Keller/EA Sports lawsuit. Ty is expected to be brought to the stand to complain about Not Jeremiah Masoli‘s presence on the Oregon roster in the 2011 incarnation.

• Phil Steele has a Top 10 for 2011. It seems like just yesterday that he was the only forecaster with Oregon out of the top 60 before their 2009 Pac-10 championship season and Rose Bowl run. I may have stammered and argued poorly, but I won!!

• The Wiz has an excellent new unsanctioned Mississippi State billboard.

• Do you want to see Justin Bieber answer his phone after his MIke Gundy ringtone goes off? I kinda did.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Weezer performing the full State Farm Insurance song. And it’s probably better than most of their last three albums.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaaHevyxvvA

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brooklyn Decker, whose husband is a Nebraska fan. The B1G Ten just got an attractiveness boost!

*****

• The NCAA Rules Committee is recommending new rules. You know now that I think about it, I was having a little too much time watching college football.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall helps Jadeveon Clowney pick a school. All class, all the time, that Hall.

• SmartFootball’s Chris Brown looks at red-zone options for pass first, airraid offenses. Smart.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller gets a Colorado primer from ESPN’s David Ubben. Writing “Colorado primer” makes me think it’s either a crazy sexual act or the best sandwich nobody’s heard of.

• ESPN’s Ubben also speaks with Big 12 (10) commissioner Dan Beebe. He never mentions Ty’s sound effect. Weak.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples writes that high school football 7on7 camps and tournaments are inching closer and closer to basketball’s AAU system. But with pink socks.

• SportsbyBrooks reviews Alabama LB/asst head coach Sal Sunseri‘s recruiting techniques.

KTBS (Shreveport) reporter Rick Rowe produced a four-part special on the recruitment of DE prospect Jermauria Rasco (featuring Sunseri).

• Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt definitely doesn’t oversign recruiting classes. Oh wait, I wrote that sentence incorrectly. Can YOU figure out where?

• Unless he gets PAID to play baseball, Nebraska QB signee Bubba Starling plans to play football. Sounds about right.

• A caller to Paul Finebaum‘s radio show was having a heart attack while he called. Probably over Kenneth Cole’s spring line.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nine year old from Tanzania recapping “Commando.” Only way it should be.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLix4QPL3tY

Enjoy your Friday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Miami resident Anna Kournikova, who I assume will never be the same now that Tate Forcier is headed to her adopted hometown.

*****

• Tate Forcier decided to take his talents to South Beach after he claims Michigan AD Dave Brandon wouldn’t meet with him (though Brandon tried to reschedule). Now Forcier needs to find a new head towel.

• Oklahoma State hired Jacksonville Jaguars QB coach Todd Monken to be their new OC, the job vacated by new West Virginia OC/HC-in-Waiting Dana Holgersen. So if you’ve been enjoying the David Gerrard magic in Jacksonville, things are only getting … similar in Stillwater.

• Utah OC Norm Chow will make less money in Salt Lake City than he did at UCLA. I think he’ll be ok.

• ESPN lists their top 25 recruiters. Not a surprise, but most of the coaches coach for teams who have had at least some success over the years. And Clemson.

SI (24/7 Sports) does something similar.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with colleague David Ubben about Nebraska moving to the B1G Ten.

• Ivan Maisel is buzzing now that it’s the offseason. It isn’t nearly as titillating as it sounds.

• Wisconsin agreed to a Rose Bowl rematch against TCU in its home opener. TCU said, “Not so much.”

• A few Virginia players look to be a fightin’ bunch.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a post-signing day podcast. He totally stole Andy Staples from us, a guy he never would’ve known if it weren’t for The Solid Verbal. Pshhh.

• Speaking of which, SI.com’s Andy Staples does his best Captain Hindsight, and re-ranks the 2008 recruiting classes.

• Backup Notre Dame QB Nate Montana appears to be considering Montana (birthrite!!!) as a potential transfer destination. So says The Missoulian, my current favorite Montana-based newspaper.

• Rivals has a list of 250 high school juniors who could, quite possibly, be very good.

• Rivals also has a preview of Conference USA’s spring. FINALLY.

(Other conferences are also apparently available)

• ASU QB Steven Threet continues to recover from concussions suffered in 2010 and is thus doubtful for spring practice.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a kitty jumping around in super slow-mo set to happy music.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1vpB6h3ek4

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Jennifer Aniston. She didn’t go to college, but she did appear on NC State alum Zach Galifianakis’s talk show. That’s good enough.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd wonders why the ACC can put so many players in the NFL but can’t win BCS games. He also frames the column around Al Groh, but doesn’t make the “Sub-par coaches keep big jobs” point. Oops.

• Ole Miss WR Jesse Grandy is transferring to be closer to home.

• The Pac 12 is having issues acquiring Pac12.com. Because of a Tupac Shakur fan. Of course.

• SEC QB positions are available. Ole Miss is expected to bring in Hezekiah Masoli, Jeremiah’s twin brother with slightly different facial hair.

• Virginia lost backup RB Torrey Mack to academics. This is crucial information.

• ESPN’s Chris Low “kicks it” with SEC commissioner Mike Slive. Word.

• Scout looks at some names of note from the Class of 2012. It includes somebody named “Gunner.” I’m all in.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel is excited to see what Notre Dame can do with top-shelf DL talent. Me? I’m excited for a new era of 9-3 Notre Dame teams getting to BCS games over more deserving 11-1 teams. Woo!

• Nebraska has an offensive coordinator. His name is Shawn Watson. The Lincoln Journal Star has chosen to profile a potential replacement. Cold.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a trick shot (throw) mixtape from Johnny McEntee. It serves almost no football purpose, but neither does UCLA and we still love watching them.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0WMd0Y6hIw

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Farley, who apparently loved the Green Bay Packers. And Paul McCartney.

*****

• Top OT recruit Cyrus Kouandjio signed with Alabama after all. Auburn fans are claiming recruiting shenanigans, which is funny because Auburn fans are claiming recruiting shenanigans.

This includes the daughter of former Auburn coach Pat Dye, who herself was active on Kouandjio’s Facebook page. Classy.

• ESPN’s Desmond Howard and CBS’s Phil Simms had to separated over Simms’s anger over Howard’s tweets re: Simms’s son, Tennessee QB Matt Simms. It’s all very exciting.

• According to ESPN’s Joe Schad, former Michigan QB Tate Forcier is down to five lucky schools. It’s like The Bachelor but with an undersized, overrated, pouty QB.

• Nebraska is trying to hire former QB and current Oregon WR coach Scott Frost to an open offensive coaching position. He’s apparently well-liked by Huskers coach Bo Pelini, which seems to make him the only one right now.

• There are new assistants in the B1G Ten. Rejoice!

• Touted Florida QB recruit Jacoby Brissett made a decision (Florida) and faxed in his LOI. Beeeeeee dooooooooo buuunnnnnn bunnn krrrrrrrrrrr shhhhhhhhhh. That’s what a fax machine kind of sounds like.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel tries to figure out what exactly Alabama coach Nick Saban is talking about when he addresses the Tide’s funny little oversigning habit.

• Some Ole Miss fans aren’t giving up the Colonel Reb fight. And they’ve taken to the streets! Ok, billboards.

• USC DL coach Ed Orgeron is the subject of an NCAA investigation. Of all the coaching staffs of all the teams in college football…

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Christina Aguilera’s Super Bowl national anth. What? If she can skip parts, so can I.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=byWqsfP1eKo

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oklahoma alumnus Olivia Munn. I could be wrong, but head to head, I’m going with the Sooner recruiting class of 2011 to outlast Munn’s NBC show, “Perfect Couples.”

*****

• Rich Rodriguez talks about his time in Ann Arbor with CBS’s Dennis Dodd. If you can believe it, he’s a bit defensive. See what I did there? Nailed it.

• Alabama had a dance team girl retrieve faxed-in letters of intent during Alabama’s live video stream Wednesday. She was wearing her uniform and is attractive. Dun dun DUN.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini celebrated the Huskers’ great class on Signing Day by not holding a press conference and getting rid of some the staff members that brought in the 2011 class. Buzzkill.

• Florida QBs Trey Burton and Jordan Reed are no longer QBs in OC Charlie Weis’s offense.

• Undecided QB recruit Jacoby Brissett (West Palm Beach, FL) is rumored to be announcing for Florida tonight. And he would be a QB in OC Charlie Weis‘s offense.

• UCLA QB Kevin Prince is still hurt. I copy/pasted that sentence from an item in October.

• The list of players invited to the NFL Combine has been released. Upon first glance, I noticed the oversight of no Lafayette Leopards. They’ll make you pay, NFL, they’ll make you pay.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers analyze the recruiting cycle for the various teams and conferences they cover. I now know BYU has an incoming OT named Ryker Mathews, who is now my favorite incoming BYU OT.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has updated his too-early Top 25 after Signing Day. We can now all exhale.

• ESPN/ABC analyst Bob Griese retired from broadcasting after a 30 year career calling games. Now it’s just time to relax and enjoy life. And tacos.

• Touted 2011 OT recruit Cyrus Kouandjio still doesn’t know where he’s going to sign. I say we give the kid a break — have you ever had ONLY two years to make A decision. Exactly, back off.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) looks at how the roster of new coaches fared on their first Signing Day.

• The Class of 2011 is soooooo earlier this week. SB Nation’s Andy Hutchins looks to 2012.

• Auburn has behind-the-scenes video from Wednesday. Gene Chizik is a RIOT.

• Ditto for Illinois, though it appears there may have been technological snafus. Yeah, I said “snafus.”

• New SDSU coach Rocky Long is not a fan of BYU.

• Mitch Mustain will NOT be charged with selling prescription narcotics. Whew.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy wakeboarding through cranberries. Damnit, now I need some Ocean Spray.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGf6earGAOc

Enjoy your Friday.

Because it’s much easier to just list things than figuring out a cohesive narrative, I organized a chaotic National Signing Day into three thoroughly unoriginal categories.

The Good

Florida State
Certain words come to mind when looking at the players Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher signed, but I’ll go with “unfair.” Depth on both lines has been exponentially secured for years to come and speed has been added to both the offensive and defensive backfields to further load (all from FL) what looks to be the ACC Atlantic division favorite for years to come. Despite all of this, the first thing I think about? E.J. Manuel better not screw this up.

Isiah Crowell
What’s better than announcing your commitment to the big school in your home state (Georgia)? Doing it with a puppy, that’s what. Shrewd.

Urban Meyer
Here’s what we want from our analysts – homework, opinions, and an ability to articulate both of these things in a clear, concise manner. Urban Meyer intimately knew what he was talking about (having recruited most of the prospects he spoke of), took clear positions, and seemed natural doing so 4-5 hours into an all-day broadcast.

USC
There are a lot of reasons why USC is an attractive place to play – location, opportunity, academics, tradition, and exposure come to mind. I’m not sure the promise of development, college coaching success, and program stability fall into that list, which is why the Trojans nabbing ten Rivals 100 players is all the more impressive. Somebody smarter than I now needs to place all this potential in “Potential Transfers,” “Potential Troublemakers,” and “Potential Somehow Reached” columns.

DeAnthony Thomas
Come on, you had to be expecting this here.

This VW Commercial
I saw it yesterday, so it counts.

The Bad

Iron Bowl Pressures
Noted prospects Brent Calloway (OLB) and Cyrus Kouandjio (OT) struggled with their decisions between Alabama and Auburn (and possibly New Mexico or Iowa in Cyrus K’s case) to the point that Calloway had to go into hiding before announcing (Alabama) and Kouandjio developed a nervous tick and couldn’t sleep in the days leading up to Signing Day. I’m assuming the daily phone calls from coaches and ‘round-the-clock harassment from competing fanbases didn’t particularly help. Cut to Kouandjio, despite announcing for Auburn, not sending in his letter of intent, as he remains unsure.

Savon Huggins + Michael Eubank
Two dumb announcement strategies (Huggins to Rutgers, Eubank to ASU) — picking up a hat and either putting it on or almost putting it on before deciding to don another school’s headwear. Weak.

Rick Neuheisel
Go to UCLA. Walk around campus any time of the year. If Rick Neuheisel can’t attract (alleged) top football talent to either stay home in LA or come to LA anymore, he’s doing it wrong. Well, he’s doing it wrong.

Class Rankings
A constant focus of the coverage, even though it’s impossible to realistically compare one group to another when schools have such varying recruiting styles and needs. The silver lining here is almost everyone agreed on a mix of the three or five schools who brought in the most bountiful haul. Even CBS’s Tom Lemming finally put his long-known Notre Dame bias behind him and agreed that … oh jeez, did he really do this again?

License Plate Decisions
Todd Peat, a defensive tackle from Arizona, who by all means may be a terrific human being, chose Nebraska over Arizona State after spotting a Nebraska license plate in his home state, which he interpreted as a sign to choose the Huskers over the hometown Sun Devils. This begs the question — how did he not see Arizona plates in Tempe???

The Uncomfortable

A Different Chris Carter

Ohio State received one less letter of intent than expected after giant OL recruit Chris Carter was arrested for “sexual imposition,” allegedly lying to girls about measuring them for ROTC uniforms. Excuse me, THE “sexual imposition.”

Mitch Mustain, Amateur Pharmacist
Well, that ends that story. Mitch Mustain: Signing Day to Signing Day.

Hokeriguez
Rich Rodriguez took part in an interview of new Michigan coach Brady Hoke. I couldn’t have been the only one to hear the Curb your Enthusiasm theme in the back of my head while watching this, right?

*****
Follow me on Twitter at @Dan_Rubenstein.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kansas alum Rob Riggle, who I imagine is excited for long lost brother Bret Bielema’s hefty pay increase at Wisconsin. They look very similar … in the faaaaaace!!! Somewhat.

*****

• The Senior Bowl happened. If you missed, here’s a recap to remind you why it was worth missing.

• All the Iowa players hospitalized for rhabdomyolysis treatment have now been released. Safe and speedy, etc.

• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema officially got paid. Goofy Bielema Smile!!

• Pore over the up-to-the-hour recruiting updates on Bryan Fischer’s CBS blog. Today’s was co-written by CBS’s Charlie Sheen — the college football information is accurate, but the hookers are gratuitous, and frankly, a bit clichéd by now.

• Top Nebraska QB recruit Bubba Starling also happens to be Baseball America’s number one high school baseball prospect, which will ultimately mean he has to make a decision. You know what’s better than not being guaranteed a million guaranteed dollars? A million dollars.

• With Wednesday’s Signing Day fast approaching, ESPN’s Bryan Bennett addresses the recruiting needs of Notre Dame and the Big East. He somehow failed to mention the need for the conference to recruit “college football fans.”

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich looks at the past recruiting evaluations of the All-ACC team. It makes it hard to tell if ACC coaches are terrible OL recruiters or all have amazing OL coaches. I don’t know if I care enough to research any further.

• ESPN’s Jamie Newberg examines the SEC recruiting haul ahead of signing day. He even includes everyone’s cap numbers. Thorough.

• Clemson LB Brandon Maye up and left the Tigers. After finding a graduate program not offered at Clemson, he’ll play his senior year in 2011 elsewhere. All signs point to him being a hell of a park ranger wherever he goes.

• Fox Sports’s Adam Caplan reviews the QBs from Saturday’s Senior Bowl. And Jake Locker. (I keeeeedd!!!)

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall looks at Texas‘s recruiting success in the midst of the school’s coaching attrition. Spoiler: The success is still successful.

• Top USC recruit DeAnthony Thomas visited Oregon on the sly this past weekend and may have changed his pledge from the Trojans to the Ducks. This is a neutral sentence about me being impartial about this news story.

• Did new Indiana coach Kevin WIlson yell at dorm RAs for ignoring him? Yes, yes he did.

• Rivals.com won’t officially report a commitment until a letter of intent is signed. Thanks, Seantrel.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Washington Wizards fans dunking poorly attempting layups. And then not.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDAfFvddDo4

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by William and Mary alumnus Patton Oswalt. The Tribe went 8-4 and pretty much run the Colonial Conference. And I think Oswalt is funnier than other Tribe alumnus Mike Tomlin.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks, in light of the Iowa hospitalizations, heads should roll in Iowa City. CBS’s Adam Jacobi expands on everything on his own Black Heart Gold Pants (Iowa) blog.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer continues to update his “Eye on Recruiting” blog with the latest news, visits, and commitments. And it’s all freeeeeeeeeeeeee.

• There’s a rumor going around that Mike Leach could be Oklahoma State’s new offensive coordinator. ESPN’s David Ubben examines that rumor.

• Nebraska and Taylor Martinez‘s dad Casey ended their apparel licensing deal. Casey Martinez claims he initiated discussions, as he’s already made hundreds of millions of dollars from the deal and didn’t want to be a distraction to his son. Or that’s not it at all.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples kindly asks Mark Zuckerberg to shut down Facebook for the good of recruiting fans.

• UCLA’s LT Sean Sheller was granted a sixth year of eligibility — not because of a previous injury, the NCAA just felt bad for UCLA. Ok that’s not true at all.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday examines winning percentage and recruiting rankings. It goes pretty much as expected.

• Former touted USC WR Brice Butler is transferring, a Trojan rite of passage.

• Michigan coach Brady Hoke has started strong on the recruiting trail. In looking at Hoke, I’m not sure there’s any other way. He’s large.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Patton Oswalt telling a barf bag story on Conan. Exquisite.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Cecil Newton, a beacon of entrepreneurial spirit. I don’t like to use the word “hero” often, so I won’t here.

*****

• An array of hyper-talented players are hanging around college to (most likely) avoid NFL collective bargaining issues. Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd and Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon were yesterday’s surprises. Today’s? LSU QB Jordan Jefferson! Dun dun DUNNNNN!!!!

• Brady Hoke was introduced as Michigan’s new coach, after following what appears to be the best path to getting a great job — slave away as an assistant, then make a traditionally horrible team decent. Or be Monte Kiffin’s son.

QB Denard Robinson is undecided about how pumped he may or may not be.

MGoBlog’s Brian Cook has some thoughts.

• Tulsa’s Todd Graham is the new Pitt coach. And before you get excited about a big fancy Tulsa offense coming to Pitt, he’s a defensive guy who hired good offensive minds at a Conference USA school. So there’s that.

• UCLA has apparently parted ways with OC Norm Chow, who will apparently end up at Utah. The Bruins, meanwhile, are rumored to be hiring now former 49ers OC Michael Johnson. It’s at any point now that Rick Neuheisel will harmlessly take out an insurance policy against a 2-10 UCLA season.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rate the best/worst of this year’s bowl performances. Surprise! Nebraska appears in multiple “worst” entries.

• Miami is hiring Seattle Seahawks QB coach Jedd Fisch to be their offensive coordinator. If anybody has a strong opinion regarding this, they’re probably lying.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has an early 2011 top 25. It just doesn’t feel like mid-January without unwarranted Oklahoma inflation, does it?

• Nike is running an Oregon Ducks ad in local papers today. It’s neon-y.

• LSU OC Gary Crowton looks to be headed to Maryland. BREAKING: Maryland will hate their offense in 2012 after a year of false hope.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel responds to reader mail for the last time (this season).

• The Wiz has the salaries of bowl CEOs. You know, the guys that put on these games for the student-athletes and the fans and heroically take the leftover hundreds of thousands of dollars.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nice little compilation of product placement in movies. This item is brought to you by Dr. Pepper. Too obvious?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wACBAu9coUU

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Alison Brie, who, with yesterday’s sponsor Gillian Jacobs, is stars on Community. And she’s on Mad Men. And … sorry, I lost my train of thought. Happy New Years!

*****

• North Carolina absorbed an admirable performance from Tennessee and Vol QB Tyler Bray, took advantage of a last-second clock reversal, and beat the Vols in two overtimes to win the Music City Bowl. So now we know that North Carolina is probably better than Tennessee. Yes!

• Washington cared and played well. Nebraska not so much. 19-7 Huskies.

• A throwaway touchdown celebration of a simple salute is basically everything that’s wrong with college football. And thus, Syracuse beats Kansas State.

• Army beat SMU. Lesson: Don’t invite teams to your bowl because you think they’ll sell tickets and be happy to spend the holidays at home. They won’t and they don’t.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James announced that he’ll return to the Ducks next year. When he heard the news, Jeff Tedford instinctively fell to the ground.

• Michigan QB Tate Forcier was ruled academically ineligible for the Gator Bowl. Note to future interviewees boasting about how hard it is to flunk out if you’re a football player: Just … don’t.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers get their previews and keys on:

Meineke Car Care — Keys … Preview

Chick-fil-A — Keys … Preview

Liberty — Keys … Preview

Sun — Keys … Preview

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel offers up his last mailbag of the year. If you enjoy depressing facts about bowl ticket guarantees, it’s the feel good column of the year.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck says he may stay in school. This actually seems plausible.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a series of feel-good “fails” from this past month. Injuries aplenty!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvqs0qr0Ulo

Enjoy your Friday + New Years + MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL!!!!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community’s Gillian Jacobs. She attended Juilliard, which has no football team. But if they did, I’m sure they’d be admirably in-step and still probably better than Arizona.

*****

• Maryland, in coach Ralph Friedgen‘s last game as the Terps’ coach, demolished ECU in the Military Bowl. Maryland RB Da’Rel Scott may still be running.

And star Maryland WR Torrey Smith is running to the NFL Draft.

• Baylor essentially played a home game in the Texas Bowl … and got ZOOK’d by Illinois 38-14. And the only thing I can think about is how bad Texas truly must be to have lost to this Baylor team in Austin.

• Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon just isn’t fair anymore. And after last night’s Alamo Bowl, Mike Stoops’s seat just isn’t chilly anymore.

Here’s Blackmon being left open, because, well, I don’t know why.

• The NCAA responded to criticisms that their discipline is doled out inconsistently by issuing a statement that amounted to, “Nuh-uh.”

• The five suspended Ohio State players have “pledged” to come back in 2011. If they didn’t, they would’ve had to (gasp!) miss playing in the Sugar Bowl.

• The Air Raid is dead in Lubbock. RIP.

• SmartFootball examines defensive adjustments to the spread. It’ll make you feel all smart and stuff.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers are it again with their newfangled keys and previews to today’s bowl games:

Pinstripe — Keys + Preview

Armed Forces — Keys … Preview

Music City — Keys … Preview

Holiday — Keys + Preview

• SI.com’s Andy Staples is already bored with the 2010 season and has moved on to previewing 2011. Just wait until we shock everyone and drop our 2014 preview. That’s what I thought.

• Is Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez long for Lincoln? I have no idea. And neither does anyone else.

• West Virginia QB Geno Smith led the Mountaineers to a season-ending top 25 ranking with a fractured foot. What did YOU do this fall? Pathetic.

• Now that he’s in a city where it’s socially acceptable to admit it, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly REALLY likes his new boots.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features an angry child, an innocent backpack, and a fragile window. Even if your math skills are sub-par, you should probably see where this is going.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNsXm99VT2Y

Enjoy your Thursday + Armed Forces + Pinstripe + Music City + Holiday bowls!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUGp33r12OI

This is Ty preparing to meet me in a bar in Omaha, NE for Verbacon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R92zeDshyVM

The above video was taken by Camera Guy Dave before I went into the bar where Ty, Dave, and Brandon from the Big Red Network were waiting for me. This is my brief, somewhat awkward adventure.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Dunder Mifflin’s Toby Flenderson, who doesn’t look completely unlike Florida AD Jeremy Foley. Whatever, I didn’t want to give too much effort in choosing a Chorus sponsor today and this fit.

*****

• Urban Meyer stepped down as the coach of Florida yesterday so he can spend more time with his family. And there’s no way he’ll ever coach again or change his mind at a certain point. Unless, of course, he does.

The presumed candidates include names previously associated with both the school and Meyer, big names around football, and my own nominee — James from GatorsFirst.com. Because he puts the Gators FIRST.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall offered an initial reaction.

• ESPN’s Erin Andrews (Gator alumnus) reacts to Meyer’s resignation.

• Utah DE Christian Cox is promising a Ute win over Boise State in the Las Vegas Bowl. I may now watch the game just to see if the senior makes plays and we get to hear a lot of, “So much Cox!!” or “Cox comes up big!!” Ok I’ll stop.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor said he’d “dominate” if he had chosen to attend a school that, you know, was eager to take advantage of his otherworldly athletic talents.

• The Miami Herald reported that Nebraska granted coach Bo Pelini permission to speak with the Hurricanes about their head coaching vacancy, while Pelini and Nebraska deny everything.

• Speaking of which, Nebraska DT Baker Steinkuhler was cited for suspicion of a DUI and will be put on ice for the Holiday Bowl. See what I did there? I’ve been waiting all year for Baker Steinkuhler to be newsworthy, and frankly, I nailed it.

• Mike Leach will take any of your available jobs.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have all-conference teams. Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon was awarded a spot at 7 different offensive positions on the Big 12 list and I’m not sure you’re in any sort of position to question this.

• Iowa WR Derrell Johnson-Koulianos was officially charged with “keeping a drug house.” Some people go to the Hamptons, some to Aspen, and now, I suppose, Iowa City.

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley won the Lombardi Award, the trophy given to the nation’s top lineman. He was gracious in accepting the honor and then drove his helmet into the other nominees.

• BCS Dear Leader Bill Hancock wrote an op-ed piece in today’s USA Today defending the wonderful BCS.

• Former Oregon cheerleader Katelynn Johnson travels for a Fox Sports video segment, and you’re not going to believe this, but they had her play mud football. It’s like a much less sexy “SI Tour Guy.”

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag and addresses BCS modifications.

• I’ll be honest — one of the great things about being an Oregon fan in Los Angeles is that I’m far, far away from a lot of Duck fans. This guy included.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is fast food turned into sushi. BACONBACONBACONBACON.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXjxHQQxcLw

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought you by Maryland alumnus Larry David, who, because I need another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, needs to avoid any and all scooters.

*****

• Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen has not spoken with Urban Meyer about a position at Florida. But he has been have late night IM sessions with whoever “UrbzTeebz4lyfe” is. Totes.

• Nebraska fans are not pleased with OC Shawn Watson. Apparently, an offense that produces yards, first downs, and points against bad teams, but stops doing so good ones agitates people who invest a questionable amount of their emotions into college football. <— I’m one of you.

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Brian Cook unearths some rock solid schadenfraude. And hey, there’s Bo Pelini featured prominently!

• The Sports Business Journal has a chart of all the gifts that bowl games give to their participants. The Meineke Car Care Bowl didn’t disclose, so we’ll just assume everyone’s getting jewel-encrusted mufflers.

• CBS Sports’s Adam Jacobi reacts to Indiana hiring Oklahoma OC Kevin Wilson. His analysis is a bit more detailed than my reaction of, “Oh.”

• Miami has candidates in mind for their vacant head coaching job. Super! Congrats! Out of this world!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall writes a column listing things that caught his attention and they just happen to be in alphabetical order. The name of the column is “The Alphabetical” — wait a second…

• Utah QB Jordan Wynn will miss both the Utes’ bowl game against Boise State and spring practice after having shoulder surgery.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans wasn’t thrilled with the 2010 college football season. Sounds like he needs a year of being reassigned to the NFL to put things in perspective.

• The wacky Lee Corso mascot head has been recovered and two former Oregon students (not graduates, ahem) were cited for felony theft. I’ve always said it — if you’re going down for felony theft, go down doing it stealing an ironically large mascot head of a below-average former coach/charismatic morning show host. Always.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) reviews the Heisman finalist field. I haven’t been paying attention lately, but I still think Denard Robinson edges out Terrelle Pryor and Taylor Martinez.

• The Football Writers Association of America (FWAA) voted Oregon coach Chip Kelly as their coach of the year, awarding him the Eddie Robinson Coach of the Year award. No big deal.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel reveals this year’s seeded 16-team playoff. I have no arguments or qualms of any sort.

• The lines are out for the bowl games. If Chris the Capper doesn’t win our bowl pool, you’ll know he’s a complete fraud. Or a talented handicapper who did extremely well during the regular season and HITS A WALL WHEN IT COUNTS. Your move, Capper.

• New Colorado coach Jon Embree has a staff and a lot of them, well, were already there. That makes it easy — no nametags.

• Former Georgia QB Zach Mettenberger is now an LSU Tiger. Because really, the place to hone the craft of quarterbacking is and will always be Baton Rouge, LA.

• Teddy Bridgewater, the QB jewel of Miami’s 2011 recruiting class, has decommitted from Miami and opened up his recruitment. He’s expected to take visits with his close friend Tommy Tunnelmountain. Nailed it!!

• Scooters are taking out Maryland players one by one. Scary.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a little old, but still great. Law school applicants, please take note.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMvARy0lBLE

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan review a handful of conference championship games and dissect a bunch of projected bowl pairings.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Bucknell student Kevin Bacon. He seems like an intense guy — no way is he happy about the 1-11 season the Bison suffered through, BUT they did lose to Lafayette, so naturally, I’m fine with it.

*****

• Arizona kicker Alex Zendejas had two extra points blocked by Arizona State DE James Brooks — one to win it in regulation and one to tie it in double OT. The Wildcats lost and Mike Stoops‘s head is still yet to be recovered.

• Chip Brown of OrangeBloods.com is saying Texas OC Greg Davis will “be replaced.” The nation awaits with bated breath for a new coordinator to find new ways for QB Garrett Gilbert to throw passes into triple coverage.

• NCAA president Mark Emmert defends the Cam Newton decision. It would’ve been much easier if Emmert simply asked, “Hey, what’s that behind you?” and then took off.

• Jim Delaney and Larry Scott, commissioners of the Big 10 and Pac 10, respectively, aren’t thrilled with the Cam Newton ruling. Cam Newton, meanwhile, may be pleased with the ruling, but I assume he’s too busy studying a soon-to-be-vacated gameplan.

• Though he injured his knee against Oklahoma State, Oklahoma RB DeMarco Murray will play tomorrow against Nebraska.

• Whichever team loses the ACC championship game will play in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. So there’s that.

• Syracuse will be playing in the Pinstripe Bowl at Yankee Stadium. Derek Jeter is expected to attend … to the needs of Minka Kelly on some tropical island somewhere.

• Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez played some Josh Groban for the departing seniors at the team banquet last night while pleading for his job. Yep.

• Former Colorado coach Dan Hawkins got a couple mil’ for his troubles (to not coach the Buffs). That’ll do.

• Jon Embree, former Colorado player/coach and current Washington Redskins tight ends coach, has been offered the Colorado head coaching job. Unless he hasn’t been. But he probably has been.

• New Mexico coach Mike Locksley will, due to the always-inspirational situation of his bosses not wanting to buy him out, be back next year.

• Oregon State will be wearing throwback uniforms tomorrow that are, well, kinda awesome.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder (SVBFF) profiles Oregon QB Darron Thomas. What? Like I wasn’t going to link this?

• The Wiz flips through the notebooks of reporters across the country.

• The latest lines for this week’s games. What’s a guy gotta do to lay some paper on Bethune Cookman?

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of Kevin Bacon’s biggest fan, Kevin Bacon. Hey, sometimes you just gotta cut loose.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyQb192-CPQ

Enjoy your Friday + (your last) College Football Saturday.

Ty and Dan take a look at the NCAA’s ruling on Cam Newton, TCU’s move to the Big East, E. Gordon Gee’s stupid comments, and the Miami coaching vacancy.  Plus, Verballer voice messages, e-mails and locks of the week.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Clemson alumnus and new Entertainment Tonight host Nancy O’Dell. There’s no way she’s happy about the way Kyle Parker’s season turned out, but she’ll be excited to learn that I saw her a few years ago at an outdoor mall and she was very perdy.

*****

• Boise State kicker Kyle Brotzman is getting harassed by Bronco fans. Good to know people are taking time out of their day to try to make a guy feel worse about something that’s going to haunt him forever. I’m fine with the offenders being forced to watch Chris Peterson sign a gigantic contract with Michigan on a 110″ TV on an endless loop.

Or perhaps I’ve said too much.

(But kudos to these people)

• Nebraska may play two quarterbacks against Oklahoma on Saturday. And if neither of them are a healthy Taylor Martinez, it’s not going to be so good.

• Ahead of Saturday’s SEC championship game, South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia is dinged up to the point that the game can’t currently be wagered on.

• EDSBS’s Doug Gillett grades this week’s championship games in this week’s CFB Buyer’s Guide.

• Could Temple coach Al Golden be the next coach at Vanderbilt? The Tennesseean seems to think that he maybe kinda sorta is being considered.

• Clemson QB Kyle Parker is pretty much dunzo***.

***Copyright: Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County.

• This year’s All-Big Ten teams were announced. Yeah, I know, I spit out my coffee too.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller calmly explains why Stanford is better than you think they are. I happen to agree, but Ted left out the jam-packed stadium and hordes of attractive females. Oh wait.

• Alabama fired the employees responsible for playing “Son of a Preacher Man” and “Take the Money and Run” before the Auburn game (for Cam Newton). The good news, of course, is Alabama has never and will never be caught paying for recruits. Never ever ever.

• Is there a single person responsible for the continued growth and presence of the BCS? Brooks from, you guessed it, SportsbyBrooks says indeed there is.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day ESPN’s Erin Andrews giving you a tour of the Gameday bus. I thought Corso’s sex swings were unnecessary, but hey, you can’t judge. (via Hot Clicks)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NnMGsz9ZU4

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vanilla Ice. I have no idea if he’s a fan of Miami football and/or Randy Shannon, but I can no longer hear anyone say “A1A” without yelling out, “Beachfront Avenue!!!” so I’m sliding him in today.

*****

• TCU is joining the Big East and it will join in all sports (after the 2011-12 academic year). It’s about time -- Coach Gary Patterson can finally tell Texas kids they’ll get to play on Thursday nights in Piscataway, NJ. Where do I sign?

• Miami fired coach Randy Shannon and won’t hire Jon Gruden. Unless they will, which they almost certainly will not.

• Michigan AD Dave Brandon is yet to evaluate coach Rich Rodriguez’s performance, but will do so in about a month. Most important Insight Bowl ever?

• The newest BCS standings are out. Northern Illinois is ranked higher than Florida, Texas, USC, and Georgia.

• Florida DL coach and former Iowa State head coach Dan McCarney is the new head coach at North Texas. Always happy for a “Dan” getting hired.

• You know how Ty and have said that Nebraska‘s fanbase was probably the nicest, most respectful fan base in college football? Well, they’re no longer making the rest of us look bad anymore — I present to you … Nebraska psychopaths!!

• The American Football Coaches Association has an All-American team. I bet they also have delicious pot lucks, go-kart races, and crazy slumber parties with scary stories. Or I’m just imagining that. But yeah right, it’s pretty much true.

• Cal DL coach Tosh Lupoi was suspended for instructing a player to fake an injury against Oregon. Because position coaches going rogue and instituting an individual position game plan without consulting anyone else sounds complete plausible. Mr. Lupoi, here comes the bus, we’re just going to give you a light shove and be on our way.

• Indiana coach Bill Lynch was fired and is now just plain ol’ citizen Bill Lynch.

• Vanderbilt coach Robbie Caldwell will step aside now that his interim year has concluded. That sound you’re hearing is some very excited (or terrified) turkeys.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will fix the Gators by recruiting “tough” players. He then added, “What? Coach Addazio has a lot of heavy furniture that’s not just going to move itself out of the building.”

• USC coach Lane Kiffin explains how USC did what Tulsa couldn’t — lose to Notre Dame.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some especially powerful power rankings and particularly project-y bowl projections. Whatever, you try thinking of two different adjectives to use in a sentence.

• Oklahoma State CB Brodrick Brown played a little game against Oklahoma called “just the tip.” Oh wait, I see what I did there.

• Florida DB Dee Finley has some constructive criticism for Gator fans. And by “constructive,” I mean “thoroughly misspelled demands of mass suicide.”

• Oregon State DT Stephen Paea has power running through his veins. Oh and lots and lots of cortisone.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at new money in his newest College Football Overtime. ***Spoiler*** Texas is old money.

• The Wiz has the snapshots of the week. A disappointed fan in full-costume is featured, which is obviously the best kind of disappointed fan.

• An Auburn fan, celebrating the Tigers’ Iron Bowl win, tackled a snowman, and then did a dainty little celebration. I’m as surprised as you are. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, well, I really have no idea what is or what happens, but it’s right below this sentence.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC60iSTUmRE

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan break down a wild weekend that saw a monster upset by Nevada, a triumphant victory for Auburn, and a defining loss for Rich Rodriguez against Ohio State.  Plus, wackiness in the Big 12, closure in the ACC, and a host of listener Reverbs.

Ty and Dan deliver a super-sized episode, chock full of analysis for all the week’s biggest rivalries, listener e-mails and voice messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Billings, MT Mayor Tom Hanel. I needlessly insulted his fine town (below) and am thus making it up to him and his town here. Tom is the one with the mustache.

*****

• Ohio State president E. Gordon Gee doesn’t like Boise State or TCU and doesn’t think there should ever be a system to put them on equal footing, mostly because he thinks their schedules are undeserving. And as SI.com’s Andy Staples notes, Ohio State should be congratulated on their 59th ranked schedule, a whopping NINE spots ahead of Boise’s 68th.

• Former Ohio State LB Chris Spielman is shocked at how bad Michigan’s defense truly is, but likes QB Denard Robinson a lot. I think the combination of these two thoughts works out to a compliment.

• Colorado apparently thinks LSU Coach Les Miles is worth pursuing. Kind of sad when the fake long-shot rumor you’re floating to make yourself sound important involves Les Miles. I take that back — there’s nothing “kind of” about it.

• Nebraska DC Carl Pelini is sorry now, too.

• Who argues and makes a bigger spectacle of himself — Bob or Mike Stoops? The Wall Street Journal took the time to find out. It’s pretty close, but Mike’s facial-redness factor has really taken him to new heights.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell us what to watch and make some predictions. Here’s a guarantee: I predict there will be massive intestinally-driven DVR pausing across the country on Friday. Take that as you will.

• Here is this week’s regional ESPN/ABC map, so you can see what games are where. Residents of Billings, Montana — screwed again. The first time of course was simply having to be in BIllings, Montana. Actually, I take that back, it’s probably awesome in Montana. Now I feel bad. Here’s looking at you, Billings!

• GOOD NEWS: Eric LeGrand, the paralyzed Rutgers player, is breathing on his own and is not as paralyzed as he previously had been. Great things.

This news is essentially the opposite of any headline involving E. Gordon Gee.

• Clemson RB Andre Ellington is a game-time decision against South Carolina.

• Former Oregon coach and current ESPN broadcaster Mike Bellotti talks punt-blocking. PASSION!

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno will be back next year. Hey, Lavar Arrington isn’t going to coach himself.

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray says he’s pain-free (knee, sternum) and will be good to go against Georgia Tech Saturday night. The game plan remains unchanged — throw it up to #8.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart interviews TCU coach Gary Patterson. Patterson gives his Fort Worth food and bar recommendations. Ok, he doesn’t, but we need them, Verballers. Where you at?

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley plays in a completely fair and just way. Just ask his teammates.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter, fresh off his 4th strike suspension, should be reinstated for the Notre Dame game. Whew.

• USC QB Matt Barkley hasn’t been practicing, but hopes to play against Notre Dame. He’s already started locking onto his receivers a few days ahead of kickoff, so things seem promising.

• The New York Times is all up in Cecil Newton’s church business grill.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is SNL’s Jay Pharoah (not Natalie Portman) on Letterman. I think I’ve already posted a video of him, but good impressions are really hard to do and he’s going STRONG with Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, and President Obama.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQ4CoxiGrY

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by legendary horse trainer and Arizona graduate (Major: Race Track Industry!) Bob Baffert, though I have no idea if he follows college football and has a horse in the race when it comes to Friday’s game at Oregon. You see what I did there? Comedy.

*****

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini apologized for his behavior and confirmed Taylor Martinez’s continued presence on the Huskers. He reiterated, “NBgHJ RN3GL JDaF K77GN&#*@3&* %&#$@(adf*#@!!”

• An Indiana prosecutor is investigating a sexual assault claim against a Notre Dame football player by a woman who died in early September in an apparent suicide.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James left the Cal game with an apparent leg injury and appeared on crutches in a walking boot post-game. He apparently practiced full-go yesterday and should be fine against Arizona on Friday. Upon hearing the news, Cal DT Aaron Tipoti instinctively fell to the ground.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck, Boise State’s Kellen Moore, and Auburn’s Cam Newton are your Davey O’Brien Award finalists. All well and good, but who’s up for this year’s Ken O’Brien? Oh, it appears to be only Garrett Gilbert.

• Speaking of which, Wisconsin RB John Clay, despite managing only 42 rushing yards (due to injury) in November, is a Doak Walker Award finalist. CBS Sports’s Adam Jacoby (correctly) takes issue.

• EDSBS’s Doug Gillett prefers to disagree with you regarding the biggest college football rivalries.

• ESPN’s Gameday will be in Stillwater for Saturday’s Bedlam game, forgoing the excellent idea to have Lt. Jim Dangle be the celebrity picker at Boise State/Nevada on Friday.

• The LA Times’ TJ Simers says it’s not looking good for UCLA OC Norm Chow. But Rick Neuheisel is doing a bang-up job!!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett compares Pitt RB Dion Lewis to West Virginia RB Noel Devine, two backs who have fallen in line with the Big East’s library-quiet presence this season.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris, the Eagles’ one offensive bright spot, could be out 3-6 weeks with torn meniscus. Plug in Kuechly!!

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rewind and fast forward. Because they’ve done so every week and it’s why they get paid Cecil Newton money.

• Want to see this week’s most famous golf cart? Of course you kind of do! (Impressive upholstery)

• Arizona will be down a receiver (suspension) for Friday’s Oregon game. And so will Oregon (injury). Both rock solid names, though.

• Oregon‘s building a new HQ for its football program. It’s expected to be inexpensive, modest, and devoid of any flash. Ahem.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) goes A through Y, and then just for kicks, goes to Z in this week’s Alphabetical. I enjoyed you best, Yale.

• Similarly, SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) tackles some schadenfraude.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney casts an updated Heisman vote because … actually, I really have no idea why.

• This week’s college football lines. Las Vegans (word?) seem to like the Crimson Tide of Alabama.

• This week’s screengrabs of the week (via The Wiz).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is almost guaranteed to make you a vegetarian (if yesterday’s didn’t) or some sort of bloodthirsty maniac. It’s essentially every kind of edible animal combined to form a delicious super-meal called TurBaconEpic. With extra bacon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xc5wIpUenQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brooklyn Decker, the wife of Nebraska fan Andy Roddick. She probably doesn’t have an opinion of angry Pelinis or Texas A&M ball-grabbin’, but she’s, uh, sorry, I lost my train of thought.

*****

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini was and probably still is steaming mad at everyone involved in Saturday’s loss at Texas A&M. And according to CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd, the guy who has a problem with everyone probably has some problems himself. I swear I came to this same life lesson while watching “The Hills” three years ago. Let’s continue.

• Despite rumors to the contrary, ESPN’s Joe Schad reports Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez is still a Cornhusker. Hard to tell if Bo Pelini is happy about this. And in other news, defensive coordinator Carl Pelini no likey shiny camera.

On top of all of that, their boss isn’t happy with either of them, and TE Ben Cotton got flagged for just wanting his balls back.

• Notre Dame LB Manti Te’o will play against USC this weekend with a busted honker. Until I see otherwise, I’ll just assume he got Marcia Brady’d.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin is “extremely hopeful” that QB Matt Barkley can play against Notre Dame with a high ankle sprain (X-rays showed no bone breaks). And just for kicks, Kiffin joked about how much of a disaster it would be to start some poor walk-on guy. HA, stupid walk-on, working hard and trying to earn a scholarship. LAME!!

• Former Oregon coach and current ESPN broadcaster Mike Bellotti withdrew his name from the Colorado coaching search. And in no way is it about the money or them looking in a different direction and him saving face. Couldn’t possibly be either of those two completely true reasons.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers issue some conference race updates, bowl projections, and power rankings. And then they break down last night’s AMAs. Not a surprise — Big East blogger Brian Bennett is NOT happy with Ke$ha.

• UCLA QB Richard Brehaut should be able to practice today after suffering from concussion-like symptoms during last Thursday’s Washington game. Because really, the right thing to do would be to rush a scrambled brain back to the field for your meaningless final games. Bra-Vo.

• In case you missed it, Illinois RB Mikel LeShoure went for 300 against Northwestern at Wrigley Field. And folks, Dan Persa doesn’t play defense.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck wants no part of your tackling efforts. Muahahaha.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel peers over the TCU/Boise State fence in his newest College Football Overtime column and looks at the other teams that are in line to the ol’ BCS screwjob. Essentially it’s one long implied middle finger at the Big East.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter was ruled ineligible by USC after riding around in a golf cart with an agent that USC had already told not to give rides to players. And now, there definitely isn’t a group of pictures of other USC players at a party thrown by that agent. Definitely not.

• EDSBS’s Holly Anderson (Peete) gives out stickers because stickers are cool. Everyone knows that.

• Oregon State fans are camping out to buy Civil War tickets. It’s hard to tell how bothersome the 28,782 fans (that show up) really can get for a big game, but I’d guess if they filled the stadium to its 45,000+ capacity, it’ll at least be a touch inconvenient for a spell.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart gives out Week 12 awards. Right now, Dienhart gets my award for best Week 12 awards column. So meta.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a Thanksgiving alternative that absolutely nobody should ever try. Or everyone. I keep going back and forth.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIzzx2OolfI

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan talk about LSU’s close call, Nebraska’s dud, a potential Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl, and the ongoing Dillon Baxter Experiment at USC.

Ty & Dan discuss the latest in the Cam Newton pay-for-play situation and the need to renovate Husky Stadium, and break down all the Week 12 action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Nick Nolte, crazy person and former Arizona State student (and football player). It’s still yet to be decided if Nolte is the acting world’s Vontaze Burfict or Burfict is ASU’s Nolte. In any case, be careful around either of these two.

*****

• The FBI has quietly been involved with Auburn QB Cam Newton‘s pay-for-play case and interviewed John Bond, the former Mississippi State QB who was told of Newton’s MSU asking price of $180,000. ¡Federales!

• Arizona State coach Dennis Erickson was fined for criticizing officials over a call they made on LB Vontaze Burfict. As a coach, one clearly has to have his players’ back, but really, we’re defending The Walking Personal Foul here?

• Orangebloods’s Chip Brown has a Texas status update. As far as the coaches are concerned, it’s more “Greg Davis is Single” than “It’s Complicated.”

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley won’t be suspended for the Iron Bowl against Alabama next week. Excuse me while I go invest in whichever company sells the most MRI and CT Scan equipment to the southeastern states.

• Purdue WR Keith Smith is looking to be granted a sixth year of eligibility via a medical hardship waiver. He tore his ACL and MCL in Purdue’s second game of the season against Western Illinois. So, you know, at least the game meant something.

• Apparently, Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is coming under fire for running up the score against Indiana. I like that Bielema’s response amounts to, “Hey, your job is to stop us and you couldn’t even stop our scrubs. Also, you’re all pansy MFers.” I like this. He’s like a reverse Bob Stoops.

• Miami QB Stephen Morris will start this Saturday when the Hurricanes host Virginia Tech. With a wall of up to 13,000 Miami fans behind him, no less.

• Iowa State QB Austen Arnaud‘s career is over after after sustaining multiple knee injuries against Colorado. His left knee requires “total reconstruction.”

• The Biletnikoff Award (WR) finalists were announced. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but it reminded me of how stacked the country is with great receivers. Not that any of them are touching Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon, but I can appreciate their efforts.

• Illinois coach Ron Zook doesn’t want to talk about a bowl game. Only he really, really does. Also, it sounds like he’s about six years behind on his cough drop cycle.

• NC State LB Nate Irving is angered by running backs. And probably deserves 30-40 yards for this anger. (via edsbs)

• “Not much can be done” about Oregon‘s opponents faking injuries, according to ESPN’s Ted Miller. It’s pretty much a waiting game — eventually, though, the testes drop.

Supposedly, a Cal source confirmed that “injuries” were part of the game plan.

• “Our fans are better than the Aggies’ fans,” says Nebraska coach Bo Pelini. I’ve been to both Lincoln and College Station, and, uh, yep.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Neil Young (Jimmy Fallon) and Bruce Springsteen (Bruce Springsteen) covering the song, “Whip my Hair.” If you’re unfamiliar with the song, you probably lead a rewarding, successful life. If you are familiar with the song, you know that it means music is dead. This version, though, is awesome.

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan go through all the Week 11 action and break down Oregon’s close win on the road against Cal.

Ty and Dan analyze the latest on the Cam Newton situation in light of recent comments by purported associate Kenny Rogers.  Plus, e-mails, voice messages and Week 11 picks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Carrabba, aka Dashboard Confessional, aka guy who attended Florida Atlantic. The Owls play Florida next year, which is actually not very emo at all. Let us all celebrate the fact that Howard Schnellenberger and Chris Carrabba are associated with the same institution.

*****

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez expects himself to be 100% for Kansas on Saturday. He then added, “But 44% would do the trick, it’s Kansas, right?” Ohnohedinnnnt. No, he didn’t.

• The University of Texas regents gave their OK to the future Texas-centric TV network. I’m pretty excited to never, ever watch this unless absolutely forced to. Wouldn’t it have been easier just to call it CBS College Sports Southwest?

• Mississippi State contacted the SEC regarding the recruitment of Cam Newton back in January. “Ruh roh!!” That’s me as Scooby Doo reacting. Why? I have no idea.

• Colorado interim coach Brian Cabral speaks. It’s much easier to coach a football team that way.

• Next year, Florida will play Florida Atlantic, UAB, and Furman. Alabama will play Kent State, North Texas, and Georgia Southern. No decisions have been made yet, but given their salaries, you just KNOW Urban Meyer and Nick Saban will be wearing some beautiful dresses.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers tell you what to watch and make game predictions. I looked, and there’s actual text under the headline “What to Watch in the Big East.” Credibility = Gone.

• Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen breaks down one of the many plays I’ll be using during my Thanksgiving flag football game. Just gotta figure out how to make it work for limited-contact 4 on 4.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall alphabetizes. It’s harder than you think.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel (SVBFF) projects all of the bowl matchups. I’m calling it right now: this year’s Meineke Car Care Bowl will be the best Meineke Car Care Bowl of the year!!

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has pictures of Yankee Stadium and Wrigley Field as they prepare to host Notre Dame/Army and Illinois/Northwestern.

• Alabama RB Trent Richardson is a maybe for Mississippi State. So to those of you trying to figure out if he’ll underwhelm with 63 yards or 77 yards, you’ll have to keep on guessing. But he’s totally better than Mark Ingram. Trust me.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is gameplay of NES’s ExciteBike. I don’t know why, I just remember really liking this game immensely. And then overheating constantly. Grrrrr.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=543dG0EWcYM

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Robert Redford, former Colorado student and bartender at The Sink in Boulder. He’s also ready for new football leadership for the Buffs and I just made that up.

*****

• Florida coach Urban Meyer Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is reporting that Auburn QB Cam Newton had “three different instances of academic cheating” during his time at Florida. I put quotes around Evans’s words, because I didn’t write them. That would be cheating. Ahem.

It’s ok, though, Auburn fans have Newton’s back. And Mark Schlabach‘s front. And Pedro Gomez‘s brief torso. They’re angry.

• After officially being told of the school’s coaching change, Colorado coach Dan Hawkins is now private citizen Dan Hawkins. Though the story is in Boulder, Kansas is THE current team that’s so mind-blowingly bad that a coach can be fired for losing to you. Rock Chalk, indeed.

Oh, and Dan Hawkins was all like “Peace out, MF’ers!”

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez is expected to start against Kansas this weekend. His ankle is improved and he should have a very productive quarter.

Also, Nebraska‘s using the same sandwich board technique Oregon and Oklahoma State use to send in plays.

• Cincinnati QB Zach Collaros is also expected to start at West Virginia. Good news for Bearcats fans, bad news for Big East Chas/Chazz-out fans.

• Wisconsin RB John Clay is questionable against Indiana due to a knee injury. Damn, looks like some other big dude will have to carry the ball 27 times for 141 yards. Gosh.

• Texas coach Mack Brown is not ready to give up on QB Garrett Gilbert. Cute.

• EDSBS has this week’s “Best in Class.” Just once I’d like this to be about Donald Trump ranking college football stories in terms of classiness. “Colorado blowing that lead? That’s definitely not claaaaaaaaaaaassssy.”

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers rewind and fast forward, and then accidentally DVR a rerun of The Gilmore Girls, watch anyway, and come to realize it’s not that bad at all.

• Washington AD Scott Woodward “clarifies” his “remarks” about Oregon and issues a non-apology. Seems like he did a lot of soul-searching and a fair amount of pants-pooping before deciding to come forward with an “I’m sorry you were offended”-type statement.

• I enjoy first-time LSU visitor stories. SB Nation’s Andrew Sharp did a much better job with his than I did with mine.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney with this week’s Heisman Watch. What do you guys think of him having LSU’s Drake Nevis at #1? Just kidding it’s the standard QB/RB/WR, the only players that REALLY matter.

• SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) lurves him some Texas in the newest “This Week in Schadenfraude.” It features crying and swearing, etc. Good times.

• Noted Mexican cuisine expert Rick Bayless offers up his recipe for bacon guacamole. This has nothing to do with college football, but this week’s games seem mostly anti-climactic and guacamole is, as always, climactic.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of newly-minted TBS host Conan O’Brien. In India.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIZCtDJtFPw

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan discuss a crazy week of high-scoring action and a very important statement win by TCU.  Plus, Reverbs and poking more fun at Ty’s locks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Hollywood super-producer Joel Silver. Not only did he attend THE Lafayette College, but he also invented ultimate frisbee, which, as a sport, met it’s apex when this happened. Thank you and you’re welcome. Down with Colgate!! (the school, not the toothpaste)

*****

• Auburn QB Cam Newton or somebody Cam Newton is allegedly associated with is being investigated by the NCAA for the alleged acceptance of money on the QB’s behalf, in exchange for Newton’s football services. Mississippi State appear to be the whistle-blowers. <-- Please don’t sue The Solid Verbal.

The New York Times and ESPN have the story, and SB Nation has an update timeline.

SI.com’s Stewart Mandel and Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel offers their initial reactions. Mandel also has a mailbag and Andy Dalton on his podcast. Only listen after you’ve downloaded The Solid Verbal at least six times.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans and SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) are asking if Heisman voters should steer clear of Cam Newton. That was fast.

That’s all I’m going to link to about Newton today, but if you have any further questions, SI.com has conveniently set up an easy system.

• Virginia Tech beat Georgia Tech last night (video highlight). Yellowjackets QB Josh Nesbitt is out for the year with a broken right forearm, but could be back for a bowl game.

• The weekly check-in from Fake Lou Holtz. I’m still not tired of this.

• ESPN’s David Ubben titled a profile, “A Tale of Two Helus.” Of course I’m going to link to it.

• The Wiz has game predictions from a variety of national w