Ty and Dan talk with Spencer Hall about Will Muschamp’s early marks, LSU-Alabama, the Big Ten, “We” Bombs, and a college football version of The Truman Show.  Plus, picks for all the big action during Week Eight.

Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oregon attendee and Always Sunny in Philadelphia star Kaitlin Olson. Welcome back to teevee, horrible people.

*****

• LSU squashed Mississippi State under their thumb last night. Not pretty.

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is out of the hospital and ready for action (maybe).

• ESPN’s David Ubben talks Iowa State and upward trending.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett chats with Michigan State QB Kirk Cousins ahead of tomorrow’s Notre Dame game.

• Oklahoma‘s regents are meeting on Monday. This passes for news, apparently.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson previews tonight’s Boise State-Toledo matchup.

• Cal coach Jeff Tedford was reprimanded for speaking poorly of officials.

• SI.com’s Jordan Conn profiles FIU’s T.Y. Hilton. T.Y. Hildenbrandt is very excited.

• The Wiz has a prognostication wrap of writers from across the country.

• Maryland‘s down two receivers for the West Virginia game.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features The Dude and some sweet, sweet soul.

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Macalester College (go Scots!) alum and Friday Night Lights co-creator Peter Berg. Here’s to hoping he goes home with some hardware Sunday night.

*****

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is still in the hospital. Here’s to hoping he comes out soon and does so bigger, stronger, faster, etc. KILL!

• Mississippi State hosts LSU tonight. SB Nation’s Bill Connelly seeks to make you wiser about the whole affair.

• SI.com’s Maggie Gray talks to Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher ahead of Saturday night’s Oklahoma game.

• Bob and Mark Stoops meet up again Saturday night. CBS’s Brett McMurphy gets all up in the brotherhood.

• Arizona WR Juron Criner is questionable vs Stanford, due to a complete lack of an appendix.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles walk-on Oklahoma starting RB Dominique Whaley. Walk-on power! (©Andy Staples)

• Big Daddy’s excited for Saturday’s Nebraska game.

• ESPN‘s bloggers will tell you what to watch this weekend AND YOU WILL LIKE IT. Now finish your vegetables.

• Predictions are also available, should you choose to accept.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers your questions in text form.

• Ohio State is down an edge rusher (their really good one).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best taxidermy commercial you’ll see all morning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJP1DphOWPs

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan talk about Texas A&M’s move to the SEC, Mark Richt’s hot seat, poor sportsmanship, and all the important action ahead in the second week of the season.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Christine Taylor, Allentown PA native. She’s also, by my count, the only person to ever appear in “Hey Dude,” “Zoolander,” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Amazing.

*****

• Texas A&M is going to the SEC, just as long as the Big 12 doesn’t get too lawsuit-happy (which they probably are).

• The HATERZ still doubt Boise State, says CBS’s Dennis Dodd.

• Tommy Rees is officially your new starting Notre Dame QB.

• Starting Oklahoma State S Johnny Thomas is ineligible for the 2011 season.

• Four suspended Ohio State players are back. FINALLY.

• Florida didn’t show much against Florida Atlantic. Well, yeah.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff says Mississippi State can’t get too excited about Auburn’s run D. Ok, it can get a little excited.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has a B1G stock report. He’s quite impressed by what Penn State did against Indiana State. Somebody has to be.

• Texas has young RBs who may or may not get stonewalled by older men on Saturday vs BYU.

• The Marshall Lobbestael era (six or so weeks worth) begins (again) for Washington State. Woo.

• Georgia‘s probably in on the spread offense.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples compares college football teams to TV shows. Or something, I’m lost.

• The Wiz has the best screengrabs of the week. This is quietly one of my favorite things about college football every year.

• USC RB Marc Tyler is back and he now has a shiny new merit badge for silence.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter and family are probably unhappy with Lane Kiffin.

• Oklahoma RB Jonathan MIller is done with Norman. Done.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Louis CK talking about George Carlin. Kind of perfect.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R37zkizucPU

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oregon alumnus and sometime entrepreneur Phil Knight. Felt right.

*****

• Mississippi State rolled Memphis. Pretty numbers can be found next to the names of Bulldog QB Chris Relf and RB Vic Ballard.

• Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson and the Badgers had a fun Thursday night in Madison.

• CBS’s (!) Bruce Feldman has weekend picks. He began by missing the exact Wisconsin score by two points. Good start.

• USC secondary coach WIllie Mack Garza resigned. “NCAA probe” and “Willie Lyles” are two names that a report mentioned. Oops.

• Kentucky played Western Kentucky. Let’s just forget it ever happened.

• Syracuse‘s path to the national championship just got a little clearer.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall wrote this yesterday. SB Nation’s Spencer Hall wrote this. Not fair.

• ESPN‘s bloggers debate international free trade trends. Just kidding, it’s just Boise St -- Georgia.

• Connor Shaw will (maybe?) start at QB for South Carolina against ECU tomorrow. This can only end well, right?

• Ohio State is getting their suspension on. Feels like old times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples talks to LSU coach Les Miles in moving pictures.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa is listed as “questionable” for tomorrow’s game at Boston College.

• Alabama‘s going with two QBs tomorrow. Fancy.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features a slingshot slip ‘n slide that launches people into a lake. I’m in.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShFAeNdiEiA

Enjoy your Friday. AND COLLEGE FOOTBALL SATURDAY!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former dental student Sofía Vergara. She’ll soon return to all of our lives in wondrous HD. 

*****

• Texas A&M absolutely did not send the Big 12 a withdrawl letter. Update: They almost assuredly will.

• Top incoming Oklahoma freshman WR Trey Metoyer will be academically ineligible this season. Just between you and me, they’ll be fine.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff profiles Mississippi State’s linebackers. Apparently, the key for them is “working hard.” Thanks for the insight, fellas.

• Ohio State released its first depth chart with a big “OR” between Joe Bauserman and Braxton Miller at QB. Why they can’t just sew the two of them together and try to beat the system that way is beyond me.

• Florida has a depth chart. Sharif Floyd at DE seems mildly unfair.

• News and notes from the Big East. Presented without further comment.

• Fearless SEC predictions are available. Such courage.

• Texas has a depth chart. It was released during a six hour Longhorn Network depth chart special. Also, Mack Brown says “more unique” in an attached video, which, of course, isn’t an actual phrase.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall previews the Big 12. Pie charts are heavily leaned on.

• Things are getting colorful for Maryland at their home opener. Good luck with all of that.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has bowl projections. It’s just that time.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has 15 impact freshmen. He calls it the Freshman 15, because, well, you get it.

• Lawyerin’ is now a thing with LSU and Jordan Jefferson.

• LSU is down a starting guard. Knees are total jerks.

• A new Rivals 100 is out. Adjust your Tuesdays.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features hilarious August injuries. It really was a great month for funny pain.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZvL58nBC68

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Andy Staples from SI.com and preview the upcoming SEC season, Alabama’s defense, Mark Richt’s job security, Stephen Garcia’s leadership, LSU’s questions, and Kentucky’s non-existent offense.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by mustachio’d NYU attendee Sarah Silverman. Lady mustaches have yet to bore me.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks SEC commissioner Mike Slive’s hopes and dreams for change in the SEC. If you read between the lines, dropping football as a conference sports seems like a real possibility.

• …And SEC coaches aren’t fans of hopes and dreams.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks the NCAA will listen to Mike Slive and then not listen.

• The EYE also has choice SEC Media Day quotes and summaries from Steve Spurrier, Will Muschamp, Bobby Petrino, and Dan Mullen.

• ESPN has their own choice SEC quotes and moments.

• The NCAA‘s investigation into Auburn and the recruitment of Cam Newton continually has new life. Good thing coach Gene Chizik admonished an NCAA enforcement official at a rules meeting a few weeks ago. Whew!

• Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Or not.

• I hope you’re sitting down … LSU received outdated recruiting video from Will Lyles.

• Former (briefly) Florida RB and current Auburn RB Mike Blakely had his appeal to immediately play for the Tigers denied.

• Florida RB Jeff Demps is still considering a pro track career, which is good because he’s generally the fastest sprinting human in college.

• Texas talks Longhorn Network, which is going to be totally fair, you guys.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner examines the forthcoming Pac-12 Network. He thinks things will finally be coming up Milhouse (Time Warner)!

• How will the B1G respond to Mike Slive. Slowly?

• Big 12 position rankings are FINALLY here, and they’re brought to you by Texas, because legally, every sentence that contains “Big 12” must also contain “Texas.”

• Big East tight ends are ranked. If you knew all of these players, you’re either gifted, nerdy, or run the Big East Coast Bias blog.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Wisconsin, who now have an adjusted loss to UNLV. Cheer up Rebel fans, you now have a math win!

• SI.com’s Tim Layden reminisces about the best team he ever covered, the 1995 Nebraska squad, a team that still gives Steve Spurrier occasional night terrors.

• Auburn has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars … defending allegations tied to the recruitment of Cam Newton.

• North Texas is riding Green Lantern Fever, which, of course, doesn’t exist. And UTEP is doing everything they can to remind you just which sport they play.

• ESPN’s commentator assignments for the 2011 season have been released. Things just got a little bit more Hawkins in here.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Steve Nash being awesome at parking.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXFF5_GIsV0

Enjoy your Thursday. New shirts soon.

***Follow me on the Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former New York School of Visual Arts right tackle Fred Armisen. He also gave a commencement speech.

*****

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris took a leisurely drive (in a dubiously rented car with a suspended license) somewhere in the 118 mph range and state police apparently frowned upon it. Whatever.

• Ohio State introduced new (interim) head coach Luke Fickell. He was asked fair questions and gave back nothing but cliches. Have fun, Columbus media.

• Former Ohio St QB Terrelle Pryor signed yesterday with Drew Rosenhaus and they’ll address the media at 2 PM ET. It promises to be definitely-miss TV.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall plays indoor football with an actual semi-pro team. His spleen is still MIA.

• An excerpt from the 2010-2011 College Basketball Prospectus entitled “The Trouble with Amateurism.” Go get yer learnin’ on. Seriously.

• ESPN’s Chris Low ranks SEC QBs. It’s a two and a half men situation. (The half is Relf, not Jefferson, by the way)

• Nebraska AD Tom Osborne never really liked the Big 12. Rapscallion.

• Penn St QB Robert Bolden is still (as of now) enrolled at Penn St. So there you go.

• Football Study Hall thinks Notre Dame has a chance to go HAM on their schedule. Also, I’m using the term “HAM” as often as possible since learning its meaning.

• Giant sports agency IMG is getting in on the 7-on-7 game. Of course.

• Hawaii REALLY didn’t want to honor a scholarship offer.

• Florida Atlantic safety Cortez Ash was arrested for stealing 400 pounds of copper, or around $1,200 dollars worth. They were THIS close to running the most kickass counterfeit penny ring in all of Indian River County. Damn.

• The NCAA is inviting 50 school presidents to a retreat. Emmert’s taking care of the mallows.

• Rivals has position-specific rankings for the recruiting class of 2012.

• NC State QB Mike Glennon is profiled. He’s tall.

• Florida St kicker Dustin Hopkins takes on a Florida St women’s soccer player in a kicking challenge. An uncomfortable microphone and two superfluous minutes are involved.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Conan’s commencement speech to the Dartmouth class of 2011. Finally, Ivy League kids catch a break.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmDYXaaT9sA

Enjoy your Tuesday. Buy things at our store.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alum Christine Lakin, who played on Al on ABC’s Step by Step. Wanna feel old? She’s 32 (but still has it!). (ahem, Christine: solidverbal@gmail.com)

*****

• The lawyer of Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor questions 90% of the SI story. I’m feeling even better about the article already.

• Similarly, lawsuits are being threatened over SI’s investigative piece. I have a feeling the follow up to this story will include the phrase, “never materialized.”

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen is now clear on the expectations the school and the state have no the whole “not getting tossed out of casinos” thing.

• Former Notre Dame and current Montana QB Nate Montana (get it?!?!) was arrested for suspected DUI. Not cool.

• Penn State OC Jay Paterno says athletes are already getting paid dozens of dollars an hour for the work they put in athletically. Of course, his math is all poorly constructed and he leaves out revenue figures for schools. Other than that, bang-up job, sir.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples argues that, while Steve Spurrier‘s plan won’t happen, it’s an important step towards a payment discussion.

• Maryland and Connecticut each had offensive footprints last season. Football Study Hall takes you inside the magic.

• Tim Tebow was on The Daily Show. Bloomin’ Onions were implied.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson answers some basic TCU/Big East questions. It’s all she can do to not say TCU is going to swallow up USF.

• Former Georgia RB Washaun Ealey has transferred to Jacksonville State. Gentlemen, get your moving violation ticket pads rrrreeeaadddyyyy!!!

• Will Ohio State‘s recruits hang around? Fox Sports’s Zac (no K, no H) Johnson further pontificates.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) tries to crack the SEC Lion King Twitter code. I’m so lost.

• Some quick thoughts on noisemakers on the SEC by EDSBS fanposter “RaginCajunRebel.” Remember to get sucked into the amazing comment vortex.

• Former Michigan QB Tate Forcier visited San Jose State. Come for the football, stay for the obscene burritos.

• Mel Kiper is totally down with high school 7on7 tournaments. Just so you know.

• Hot/Cold Yes/No UCF QB recruit DeMarcus Smith has chosen to stick with UCF. This is actually news.

• The purple and gray field at Central Arkansas is coming along just fine, thank you.

• Arizona needs snitches ASAP.

*****

Today’ s Video of the Day is Orson Welles sleepwalking through a commercial shoot. I could watch this forever and ever.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFevH5vP32s

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Hugh Grant, Oxford graduate. He is awarded this honor because apparently, two important people are getting married in England this week. Also, Grant is foppish. I think somebody actually invented the word “foppish” to describe Grant.

*****

• Ohio State officially received its notice of allegations from the NCAA, who are total HATERZ.

• More Florida players favor herbal remedies. Oh and pot. Lots of pot.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini signed a new contract a few weeks ago. I was sworn to secrecy, but one major incentive includes provisions for a curved hat bill that surpasses all geometric laws.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi wasn’t exactly wowed by the passing display put on in Ohio State’s Pryor-less spring game. He was, however, smitten with Jim Tressel’s boots.

• Rich Rodriguez spoke to CBS Sports bloggers about various football and personal topics. I didn’t read everything, so I’ll just assume he accuses most of the Michigan athletic department of being furries.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with Wisconsin’s running backs. West Coast Kevin may be right in openly wondering why we’ve never seen Rittenberg’s legs. The smart money is on him as a hovering Big-10 blogger.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller very politely points out that UCLA wasn’t very good in its spring game Saturday night.

He also accidentally becomes half of the greatest college football video screengrab of all time while interviewing USC defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin.

• FoxSports’s Lisa Horne reviews USC’s spring game. She was impressed by the secondary, which had the ideal assignment of playing against USC’s passing game.

• Oregon has specific spring game uniforms that feature camouflage and military-type ribbons. I’m given credit for the picture, even though I’m always roughly 850 miles from the Oregon locker room at all times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at Texas A&M and wonders if the winning belief is strong in College Station. He also rips six east Texas BBQ shacks for having too many vinegar molecules in their sauce. Perfectionist, that Staples.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it up for the first time this spring. He doesn’t seem to be as in love with Oregon as others might be at this point, which clearly points to him being a HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden, the Danny Almonte of Big 12 QBs.

• A site has been created with the sole purpose of trying to get Cam Newton to take a lie detector test. Newton would in turn receive one million dollars for answer four questions related to his recruitment. Must be nice to have so much disposable income without the cares of perspective, rational behavior, or basic intelligence.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Our Idiot Brother.” Paul Rudd’s sweater makes me giggle.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oglpsxVjRY

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the excellent Aisha Tyler, Dartmouth graduate and Archer (season finale tonight) voicestress.

*****

• UMass is joining the MAC. Forget everything you know.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart eulogizes the great career of legendary UNC broadcaster Woody Durham. No snark here — very little in sports is ever cooler than a old, trusted play by play guy.

• Harvey Updyke, the Alabama fan who poisoned the trees at Auburn‘s Toomer’s Corner, was attacked at a gas station after a court hearing. S-E-C! S-E-C!

• Virginia Tech is playing around with defensive line depth. DT Antoine Hopkins appears to be a name to remember, though unfortunately, it’ll probably get used with the word “lunch pail” and “blue collar.”

• The attorney general from the state of Utah is suing the BCS over the organization’s alleged status as an “illegal monopoly.” This will only end in almost nobody caring.

• Minnesota is all about tempo. Low and slow it is not.

• Northwestern and Stanford have agreed to a series of games. Most people are looking at this from a perspective of two esteemed academic institutions meeting, which is good enough for me.

• Michigan State‘s next step? Staying good every year, at least until being throttled by an SEC team on New Years.

• Speaking of which. Fox Sports Detroit profiles OL Arthur Ray, who, if there’s any justice in the world, should be flattening people come September.

• Oh and now you’re going to tell me cocaine trafficking should be off-limits for Duke linebackers?

• Touted high school QB Zeke Pike committed to Auburn. Zeke!

• Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen is doing a swell job in Starkville. This is all going to be quite uncomfortable when he leaves in the next two years.

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez has separated himself from the pack, at least for now. Sort of.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Terri” which looks good and makes me want to wear pajamas. Well, more.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpUzuZGiPho

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on AdultFriendFinder.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Travis Barker, alumnus of no college or university. With that said, he still has a hell of a tat hookup in Columbus.

*****

• As of now, Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has been suspended two games (Akron and Toledo) and fined $250,000 by his bosses for knowingly playing ineligible players and not fully disclosing his knowledge of their memorabilia sales. The NCAA is yet to fully investigate this and arbitrarily reach a decision of their own.

Here is THE Ohio State documentation and submission to the NCAA. Included is the email proof of knowledge by Tressel.

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach had such high hopes for Tressel.

• UCLA DT Brandon Willis is transferring to North Carolina after committing to Tennessee, enrolling at North Carolina, then transferring to UCLA. We’re all excited to see him exhaust his eligibility without actually ever becoming eligible to play.

• The Huntsville, AL radio host who said he had tapes of Cecil Newton got canned for not actually having them. Oops.

• CBS Sports is priming for Washington State’s spring. Same goes for you, Missouri.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at the questions that Virginia Tech and the ACC face in 2011. Some things you can’t unsee.

• Who are the ten best receivers in the SEC? ESPN’s Chris Low knows. EXCLUSIVE!!

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich went to a Miami practice and all I got were these bullet points.

• Some notes from Texas spring practice. Summary: Nobody knows much right now.

• Fox Sports Southwest examines the questions surrounding TCU’s spring and beyond. I’ll go out on a limb and say some Horned Frog will still wear smeared warpaint as eyeblack.

• An early look at the best non-conference games of 2011. And because it’s Fox, there’s a link in the middle to a site asking, “Are the girls of the SEC the hottest?” Not a joke.

• The Internet has demanded more Wyoming football players showing a camera around their homes and Wyoming football players have delivered.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jackass for Girls.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgwTU9-a_3I

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Yale dropout Claire Danes. You know what they didn’t invent at Yale? The Facebook. And yes, I just saw The Social Network again, why?

*****

• Yahoo!!!!!! and ESPN are reporting that Oregon paid recruiting services, reported it in their financial statements, but are not being investigated by the NCAA for doing so, at least not as of now.

SI’s Andy Staples actually has firsthand experience with these camps and services and weighs in.

I’m warning you now, though, your favorite older columnists will or have already turned into Helen Lovejoy over the ordeal.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa is healing. Woo.

• Former Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt disagrees with the Panthers being singled out by the SI crime story and defends his discipline record. Methinks, Dave, methinks.

• Michigan blog “Maize ‘n Brew” debriefs the Rich Rodriguez era.

• Auburn lost around $600,000 on the BCS Championship game. Shouldn’t have bet the over, guys.

• John Bond, the former Mississippi State QB in the middle of the Cecil/Cam Newton ordeal says the recently-released audiotape is “not authentic.” Dun dun DUNNNN.

• Washington RB John Fogerson was arrested Thursday for marijuana possession and resisting arrest. And by that I mean he ran away. Brave.

• Clemson enters a new era with new QB Tajh Boyd. Prediction: 8-4 will somehow feel fresh in 2011 for the Tigers.

• CBS Sports columnists pick their favorite stadiums. The Coliseum comes in at number ten, which tells me that nobody CBS Sports has never been to The Coliseum. Expensive/inconvenient parking! No comfort! Bad sight lines! Top ten!

• EDSBS Fulmer Cup Update? EDSBS Fulmer Cup Update!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the new video for the The Strokes single “Under Cover of Darkness.” Beyond it being a good song, it was a good reminder that music videos somehow still exist.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_l09H-3zzgA

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Washington graduate Anna Faris. She’s attractive, in a new movie that seems like it could be good, and is married to Andy Dwyer. Good enough for me.

*****

• Iowa released a statement reacting to Sports Illustrated’s story regarding the criminal histories of college football players. In conclusion, some Iowa players got drunk before they turned 21.

• Boise State did the same and noted that of the 16 reported offenses, “three have been dismissed, six were traffic related, five were alcohol related, one was for trespassing and one was for battery.” So it looks like the Broncos will press on in lieu of the horrors SI is reporting.

• Additionally, SI‘s story singled out Pitt as a program with players responsible for a number of crimes. And then the story of Pitt OL Fernando Diaz getting tased four times as he resisted arrest came out. Oops.

• After offseason review and the hiring of former NFL VP of Officiating Mike Pereira as a consultant, the Pac-12 has rid itself of 11 referees. Exciting.

• Arizona WR Bug Wright is no longer part of the team. He looked to be a crucial member of a squad expected to be ranked early and then fade late in 2011.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller wraps up the  Pac-12‘s performance at the NFL Scouting Combine. It’s mostly about large people.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett quickly profiles second year Louisville coach Charlie Strong. Lou-uh-vull.

• UConn is down some cash after winning the Big East and failing to convince its fans that the Fiesta Bowl is worth the hassle. Pretty airtight logic.

• A Cecil Newton audio recording has been released, though the term “audio” is open to interpretation.

• New NCAA president Mark Emmert is open to a playoff. This means nothing.

• Did Iowa‘s rhabdo outbreak scare off five-star OT Cyrus Kouandjio from signing with the Hawkeyes? No, it’d be the whole “living in Iowa” thing that did that.

• The new ESPN/Texas network has hired production executives. Adjust your day accordingly.

• Purdue has a new Nike uniform that looks a lot like a Purdue uniform.

• Want to know where Nebraska DE Cameron Meredith stands politically? Wonder no more.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a gut being hit by a pellets from an airsoft gun at 1280 frames per second. It’s transfixing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWQC9AFAr0

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Billy Crystal, esteemed NYU graduate. We all miss his hostmanship. One time, somebody misheard the name of the show as “The Solid Purple” and assumed we only covered NYU Violet sports. They don’t have a football team, but it’s still a pretty brilliant spinoff idea.

*****

• Sports Illustrated and CBS News published an investigation of the criminal histories of college football players. Apparently, a percentage of players have them.

EDSBS’s Spencer Hall reacts with questions about context. Pesky.

• ESPN radio host Colin Cowherd says a school (confirmed to him as Oregon) will be hit with major recruiting violations. CollegeFootballTalk says it’s not the Ducks.

• NFL agent Gary Wichard, who found himself at the center of last year UNC investigation, must turn over financial records to NCAA investigators, per a new search warrant.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers had a second knee surgery. If you’re outside of the west coast, you’ve probably only seen him for a second and a half, and unfortunately, that may be all you get.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles Oklahoma and Bob Stoops. Sorry, did that deserve “BREAKING” before it? I can never tell.

• ESPN‘s bloggers issue five (and only five) questions about the ACC, Big 12, and Pac-12 springs, respectively. But it’d be better if it was disrespectively.

• Former B1G Ten players participated in the NFL Scouting Combine. Here is a collection of numbers.

• ESPN’s Chris Low contends that SEC players in the Combine were fast. Low also comes to the defense of Nick Fairley. FINALLY!

• Fox Sports reviews the top 12 offseason QB battles. Information!

• Conference USA appears to be the prettiest girl at this week’s TV Rights Dance.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Iowa RB Marcus Coker and also, reviews names to learn this spring.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart tries to make his way back into your heart by creating conference all-star staffs. I see no listing for a Steele, Lexington re: all-star staffs.

He also profiles Mississippi State and West Coast Kevin’s boy, Chris Relf.

• Paul Finebaum is photoshopped into Ghost molding the Nick Saban statue. Boom.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dubbed Two a Half Men / Charlie Sheen interview mash-up.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtMSvZ7Mwow

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter here.

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about Lane Kiffin, quarterbacks in the SEC, the bear population in Mississippi, and tattoos.  Plus, what the F is the Internet?

He is a graduate of the University of Ottowa and Today’s Chorus sponsor. Who is Alex Trebek? (see what I did there?)

*****

• Purdue WR Keith Smith has been denied a sixth year of eligibility.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall is terrified/mildly aroused (terrifoused?) at the new Nick Saban statue that will soon be found on Alabama’s campus.

• The Wall Street Journal is intrigued by SEC oversigning. My favorite sentence? “Sometimes, however, the math simply goes awry.”

• Michigan QB Denard Robinson appeared on Jeopardy! last night. For realsies.

• ESPN’s Chris Low reviews both the weekend and yesterday’s performance by the SEC at the NFL Scouting Combine. It all means very little.

• Ditto for ESPN’s Ted Miller and the Pac-12.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach (BAH) has eleven spring storylines to follow. It only involves noteworthy or recently successful teams. Amazing.

• Here’s a glance at Ole Miss‘s new mascot head. Tom Kite is already gushing over the headwear.

• Was Cam Newton in the room when Cecil Newton was allegedly recorded on tape talking about pricing? I have no idea.

• Stanford‘s just cruising along, thanks.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart puts together a (99% west coast-free!) dream team staff. His two DL dream team coaches were the front line of defenses that finished 7th in the Pac-10 and 7th in the SEC against the run last year. Wonderful.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jimmy Kimmel guiding supremely attractive women onto exercise balls. And then they hump the balls.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKekcHMiVVg

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by South Carolina native Vanna White. I can’t imagine she’s happy after Jadeveon Clowney chose the Gamecocks over her own Atlanta Institute of Fashion. Also, White is only the sixth Chorus sponsor to have both “lesbian affair” and knitting” in the same Wikipedia “Personal Life” section.

*****

• Prized DE recruit Jadeveon Clowney announced that he will be attending South Carolina (over Alabama or Clemson) this fall. And 5-7 other yet-to-be-determined recruits will be told they’ll be leaving on their own accord soon. Exciting times!

Oh, and there are eligibility questions.

Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at where this puts South Carolina.

Who wrote about Clowney committing to a sandwich? I’ll tell you who — Spencer Hall of EDSBS, that’s who! Oh ok, that makes sense.

• Arizona State RB Deantre Lewis was shot this past weekend, but apparently avoided any serious injury. That’s a pretty great second part of a sentence to write.

• The Pac-12 has hired former VP of Officiating for the NFL Mike Pereira to overhaul their officiating program. Pac-12 officiating blogs are collectively abuzz.

• 2010 was awful for Texas. Important people anonymously tell us what happened. And now there are MS Paint penises to show you the Longhorns’ offseason in detail. Of course there are.

• ESPN’s bloggers compile valentines to various teams from readers. I’m operating under the assumption that most of the Big East entries are written by made-up people.

Similarly, from the bloggers themselves, there are also valentines and  heartbreakers . Get it? HAHAHAHAH kinda.

• Seattle Seahawks secondary coach Jerry Gray signed with Texas in the same capacitiy for a bit, but has now left to become the DC for the Tennessee Titans. In response, recently-hired Arizona DB coach Duane Akina is going back to Texas to coach the secondary, the same position he held last year. Hurray!

• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is officially getting paid. The right way.

• The latest from the Sam Keller/EA Sports lawsuit. Ty is expected to be brought to the stand to complain about Not Jeremiah Masoli‘s presence on the Oregon roster in the 2011 incarnation.

• Phil Steele has a Top 10 for 2011. It seems like just yesterday that he was the only forecaster with Oregon out of the top 60 before their 2009 Pac-10 championship season and Rose Bowl run. I may have stammered and argued poorly, but I won!!

• The Wiz has an excellent new unsanctioned Mississippi State billboard.

• Do you want to see Justin Bieber answer his phone after his MIke Gundy ringtone goes off? I kinda did.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Weezer performing the full State Farm Insurance song. And it’s probably better than most of their last three albums.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaaHevyxvvA

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Andy Staples to discuss recruiting wars in the SEC, the re-emergence of Florida State, and God’s Power Offor’s other profession.  Plus, a full boat of Verballer e-mails from the last few weeks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Pawnee, Indiana’s Ron Swanson. Back tonight! Which reminds me, I need breakfast.

*****

• Michigan QB Tate Forcier announced his transfer via Twitter, 140 characters at a time. And the release still isn’t nearly as entertaining as his brother’s transfer from UCLA. FACT.

• Wisconsin may lose their offensive coordinator Paul Chryst to Jim Harbaugh and the 49ers. This is now slow inching towards giant white offensive lineman porn.

• This year’s TCU-Boise State game may get moved from Fort Worth to Boise. Just because screw you TCU, that’s why.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart confirmed that former Louisville coach Steve Kragthorpe will take over as LSU’s offensive coordinator.

• A Mississippi State cheerleader appeared in Playboy and has now spoken about it with SB Nation. It’s all very exciting.

• QB Zach Mettenberger went to Georgia. Then he transferred. Now he’s going to LSU. And he looks like this.

• It’s the offseason, a perfect time for a refresher on EDSBS‘s Fulmer Cup rules and regulations.

• Texas Tech needed to drop one non-conference game to make room for a ninth Big 12 game, and, I hope you’re sitting down for this, they dropped a road game at TCU.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel spoke with Mike Leach and explains why Leach’s baggage (as long as it exists) will stand in the way of future employment.

• The Oregon cheerleaders shot a calendar. The Wiz has video.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Aziz Ansari’s version of the Parks and Recreation intro. I like this show.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NBC News’s Chris Hansen, a proud Michigan State graduate who takes down pedophiles. I assume he was too busy trapping horrible people to watch the Capitol One Bowl. Speaking of pedophiles…

*****

• Charlie Weis is Florida’s new offensive coordinator. Brace yourself for eight solid months of people overanalyzing that sentence.

Oh and Seattle Seahawks DL coach Dan Quinn takes over the other side of the ball as Florida‘s defensive coordinator.

• UConn coach Randy Edsall is now Maryland coach Randy Edsall. It’s not a “splash hire” nearly as much as it is a leaf gently swaying in the wind before it delicately slides into place atop a silent pond.

• The team favored to win the Rose Bowl … won the Rose Bowl.

• Alabama got healthy and promptly beat up on Michigan State. Circle of life.

• New Pitt coach Mike Haywood is now former Pitt coach Mike Haywood (undefeated!) after he was charged with domestic violence.

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney has fired two offensive coaches after noticing that his team was sans football-moving abilities.

• Ohio St QB Terrelle Pryor has made an enemy in ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit. And that would be after Pryor received three moving violations in three shady loaner car deals. And a shady tattoo investigation. And breaking NCAA rules for selling jerseys and awards. Well played.

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden is joining Penn State QB Kevin Newsome on the transfer train. Prospects take note — it’s a good idea to actually take into account what type of offense is run at your school of choice.

• UConn RB Jordan Todman, the nation’s second leading rusher, declared for the NFL Draft. Sounds about right.

• UCF got a little punchy before during the on-field Liberty Bowl celebration.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have Orange Bowl previews, keys, and more!. Huzzah!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall channels his inner Jim Delaney in reviewing the Big 10‘s Saturday performance. It’s not pretty.

And then the real Jim Delaney channeled his inner Jim Delaney.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says Michigan‘s Gator Bowl performance against Mississippi State should spell the end of days for Rich Rodriguez.

• The Wiz has front pages from newspapers from around the country. I checked, he didn’t get any Beetle Bailey screencaps. Bah.

• BCS TV ratings are either amazing or horrible.

• If you attended the TicketCity Bowl, you probably had awesome seats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is polar bears playing with spy cameras. Obviously.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT0O2RyxnkY

Enjoy your Monday + Orange Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Alison Brie, who, with yesterday’s sponsor Gillian Jacobs, is stars on Community. And she’s on Mad Men. And … sorry, I lost my train of thought. Happy New Years!

*****

• North Carolina absorbed an admirable performance from Tennessee and Vol QB Tyler Bray, took advantage of a last-second clock reversal, and beat the Vols in two overtimes to win the Music City Bowl. So now we know that North Carolina is probably better than Tennessee. Yes!

• Washington cared and played well. Nebraska not so much. 19-7 Huskies.

• A throwaway touchdown celebration of a simple salute is basically everything that’s wrong with college football. And thus, Syracuse beats Kansas State.

• Army beat SMU. Lesson: Don’t invite teams to your bowl because you think they’ll sell tickets and be happy to spend the holidays at home. They won’t and they don’t.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James announced that he’ll return to the Ducks next year. When he heard the news, Jeff Tedford instinctively fell to the ground.

• Michigan QB Tate Forcier was ruled academically ineligible for the Gator Bowl. Note to future interviewees boasting about how hard it is to flunk out if you’re a football player: Just … don’t.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers get their previews and keys on:

Meineke Car Care — Keys … Preview

Chick-fil-A — Keys … Preview

Liberty — Keys … Preview

Sun — Keys … Preview

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel offers up his last mailbag of the year. If you enjoy depressing facts about bowl ticket guarantees, it’s the feel good column of the year.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck says he may stay in school. This actually seems plausible.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a series of feel-good “fails” from this past month. Injuries aplenty!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvqs0qr0Ulo

Enjoy your Friday + New Years + MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL!!!!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by high-school dropout and possible rules-violating Iowa booster Demi Moore, who is probably glad she learned Marcus Coker’s name just before last night’s Insight Bowl.

*****

• Iowa, led by RB Marcus Coker‘s huge game, flatted Missouri 27-24 in the Insight Bowl. The new goal in Iowa City is now preventing Coker’s name from ever ending up in the same sentence as “drug house” or “violating the team’s substance policy.”

• NC State gradually got by West Virginia 23-7 in a Champs Sports Bowl nearly devoid of sound offensive gameplanning or execution.

• The CEO of the Sugar Bowl lobbied for the suspended Ohio State players to play in his bowl to protect “the integrity” of his game. Ohio State is expected to release a statement after the Sugar Bowl kicks them out of bed and gives them cab fare.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is either moderately interested in the Maryland job or wants Zuckerburg money to be an offensive coordinator at Auburn.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have information aplenty for today’s games:

Military Bowl — Preview … Keys

Texas Bowl — Preview … Keys

Alamo Bowl — Both

• Miami QB Jacory Harris will probably start against Notre Dame in the Sun Bowl. Now we can all exhale.

• Former Florida coach Urban Meyer is “seriously considering” an analyst’s role at ESPN. How will everyone in his family get in a word when there’s only so much airtime to go around?

• Mississippi State QB Chris Relf will wear the number of late teammate Nick Bell in the Gator Bowl.

• West Virginia RB Shawne Altson signed into Facebook at halftime of yesterday’s Champs Sports Bowl. OMG LOLZ.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best scenes from Pixar movies cut together. Makes you wish you were a computer-generated underdog.

Enjoy your Wednesday + Military Bowl + Texas Bowl + Alamo Bowl!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Sienna Miller, noted Pittsburgh non-fan. She’s yet to comment on the Mike Haywood hire.

*****

• Pitt has hired former Miami (OH) coach Mike Haywood to be their next coach. A ticker tape parade is somehow yet to be announced.

• To take down the BCS, Mark Cuban wants to personally fund a college football playoff. And he went to Indiana, a school that doesn’t even have a football program!!

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers examine what specifically happened to bad teams that led them to a bowl-less winter. It’s the feel-good series of the holiday season.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples, in comparing Cam Newton‘s case to Mississippi State basketball player Renardo Sidney, implies the NCAA may be hypocritical. Also, if you look closely at the column, Staples secretly inserts a killer dry rub recipe in code.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel ranks the seasons of the past 26 Heisman winners. Eric Crouch is pretty much dead to him.

• UConn fans aren’t buying Fiesta Bowl tickets.

Did you find the secret inconsistency in that last sentence? If you said, “There are no UConn fans,” you’re correct!!

• Here’s your breakdown of which conference’s referees will be calling which bowl games. I apologize in advance on behalf of the west coast for whatever happens in the Fiesta Bowl.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Grandmama. I miss grandmama.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=thbUkBW_ftM

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the late Leslie Nielsen, who was simply funnier than almost everyone else.

*****

• Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen isn’t going to Florida. Unless he is. In which case, Florida would just keep offering him more and more money. C’mon guys, this isn’t chicken science here.

• The best players in the country won awards last night. I’ve got to admit, in the picture, Auburn DT Nick Fairley looks casual and charming, I may be in the process of getting won over by him after all.

Editor’s Note: Nick Fairley sensed Dan typing his name and appeared out of nowhere, drove Dan into a wall, and ruptured six disks in Dan’s back.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Oregon RB LaMichael James in the wake of the Ducks’ star winning the Doak Walker Award and attending Saturday’s Heisman ceremony as a finalist.

• Last night, Gameday’s Lee Corso was honored by ESPN at their College Football Awards. Long, but a well-done piece for one of the more likable fellows in college football.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is thinking over Vanderbilt’s reported $3 million offer to become the Commodores‘ new head coach. And if Malzahn declines, it’s going to James Franklin, Maryland’s OC. And if Franklin decides against it, they’re going with an adjunct sociology professor who needs the hours.

• Kentucky QB Mike Hartline was arrested for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and an allegation of assault. But the bowls, Mike, WHY WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE BOWLSSSSSSS!?!?

• Newly former Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt will coach the Panthers in the BBVA Compass Bowl, but like the rest of us, he’s just not sure what a BBVA Compass Bowl is.

• Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney tells teams from non-AQ conferences, “You will eat your vegetables, and you will like them, damnit!!”

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall breaks down yesterday’s USA Today op-ed column from BCS Dear Leader Bill Hancock.

• Penn State QB Kevin Newsome will probably soon be Another School QB Kevin Newsome. The same can be said for West Virginia’s Barry Brunetti. (via Dr. Saturday)

• Should Texas coach Mack Brown hire Mike Leach to run Texas’s offense? Richard Justice of the Houston Chronicle seems to think so, and if there’s anything I’ve learned while writing for literally dozens of people, it’s that you always listen to somebody who’s last name is JUSTICE.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a new movie in which Hugh Jackman apparently trains and promotes robots fighting each other in a steel cage. I … just … wow.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAhQA5gT62w

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty & Dan discuss the latest in the Cam Newton pay-for-play situation and the need to renovate Husky Stadium, and break down all the Week 12 action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Nick Nolte, crazy person and former Arizona State student (and football player). It’s still yet to be decided if Nolte is the acting world’s Vontaze Burfict or Burfict is ASU’s Nolte. In any case, be careful around either of these two.

*****

• The FBI has quietly been involved with Auburn QB Cam Newton‘s pay-for-play case and interviewed John Bond, the former Mississippi State QB who was told of Newton’s MSU asking price of $180,000. ¡Federales!

• Arizona State coach Dennis Erickson was fined for criticizing officials over a call they made on LB Vontaze Burfict. As a coach, one clearly has to have his players’ back, but really, we’re defending The Walking Personal Foul here?

• Orangebloods’s Chip Brown has a Texas status update. As far as the coaches are concerned, it’s more “Greg Davis is Single” than “It’s Complicated.”

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley won’t be suspended for the Iron Bowl against Alabama next week. Excuse me while I go invest in whichever company sells the most MRI and CT Scan equipment to the southeastern states.

• Purdue WR Keith Smith is looking to be granted a sixth year of eligibility via a medical hardship waiver. He tore his ACL and MCL in Purdue’s second game of the season against Western Illinois. So, you know, at least the game meant something.

• Apparently, Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is coming under fire for running up the score against Indiana. I like that Bielema’s response amounts to, “Hey, your job is to stop us and you couldn’t even stop our scrubs. Also, you’re all pansy MFers.” I like this. He’s like a reverse Bob Stoops.

• Miami QB Stephen Morris will start this Saturday when the Hurricanes host Virginia Tech. With a wall of up to 13,000 Miami fans behind him, no less.

• Iowa State QB Austen Arnaud‘s career is over after after sustaining multiple knee injuries against Colorado. His left knee requires “total reconstruction.”

• The Biletnikoff Award (WR) finalists were announced. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but it reminded me of how stacked the country is with great receivers. Not that any of them are touching Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon, but I can appreciate their efforts.

• Illinois coach Ron Zook doesn’t want to talk about a bowl game. Only he really, really does. Also, it sounds like he’s about six years behind on his cough drop cycle.

• NC State LB Nate Irving is angered by running backs. And probably deserves 30-40 yards for this anger. (via edsbs)

• “Not much can be done” about Oregon‘s opponents faking injuries, according to ESPN’s Ted Miller. It’s pretty much a waiting game — eventually, though, the testes drop.

Supposedly, a Cal source confirmed that “injuries” were part of the game plan.

• “Our fans are better than the Aggies’ fans,” says Nebraska coach Bo Pelini. I’ve been to both Lincoln and College Station, and, uh, yep.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Neil Young (Jimmy Fallon) and Bruce Springsteen (Bruce Springsteen) covering the song, “Whip my Hair.” If you’re unfamiliar with the song, you probably lead a rewarding, successful life. If you are familiar with the song, you know that it means music is dead. This version, though, is awesome.

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan go through all the Week 11 action and break down Oregon’s close win on the road against Cal.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Clay Davis, fictional corrupt state senator. He shares a name with Wisconsin RB John Clay, who is not a fictional corrupt state senator, but merely a bruising back with knee issues. You’re welcome for the clarification.

*****

• Kenny Rogers, the alleged agent provocateur to the Newton family, was on the radio yesterday explaining how it all allegedly went down between Cecil Newton (father of Auburn QB Cam Newton) and Mississippi State. I like it when radio interviews are damning, but I really wish the hosts would talk old-fashioney more during these things. “Now see here, fella, I’m telling you the truth, I say!”

EDSBS has a simple map to help you understand the Cam Newton situation. If you read between the lines, even the Fig Newton family is implicated. Comedy!!

• UConn beat Pitt last night. If you think there’s any story here beyond UConn RB Jordan Todman piling up 222 yards, you’re pretty much lying.

Ok, this was also relevant (via 30fps)

• Florida State QB Christian Ponder is questionable for tomorrow’s game against Clemson due to an elbow injury.

• Tomorrow isn’t looking very likely for Wisconsin RB John Clay.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor announced that he’ll be back for his senior year and, in addition, he won’t be playing basketball. On the contrary, I will be playing basketball. For my average rec-league team. Who’s the real man now? Exactly.

• Former UNC WR Hakeem Nicks, among others (including former Maryland TE Vernon Davis) are said to have provided improper benefits to student athletes. Vernon Davis may have given, wait for it, up to $20 to somebody. When it rains, it, uh, drizzles lightly.

• Florida will continue to play their three-headed QB monster tomorrow against South Carolina. Well, not monster, how about three-headed shady dude?

• A touted JUCO DL recruit de-committed from Missouri and will go to USC because he believes he can be good enough after a year to go to the NFL. Dude must be getting crazy good grades.

• Former Colorado coach Gary Barnett questions the Buffs’ commitment to excellence. Nobody, however, questions Barnett’s commitment to letting a program spiral completely out of control under his watch.

• WhatIfSports runs simulations on this weekend’s games.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers reader mail. And dismisses the haters. Honestly, it’s SportsWriting 101 — never step to Mandel. EVER.

• The broadcast assignments for the BCS games have been released. Man, I can wait for the Fiesta Bowl.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd argues that, in college football, cheating works. I’m still trying to figure out if he’s breaking new ground here.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall explains the rise and success of TCU. I don’t know if it’s more or less credible due to Hall never mentioning that crotchety (and hilarious) golf writer Dan Jenkins is giant TCU fan.

• CNN has some sort of list of popular tailgating locations. It’s ok, I suppose, but couldn’t they have done this on a giant, unnecessary touch screen?

• Finally, a guy in Kentucky was forced to eat his own beard. Not “finally,” like I’ve been waiting for this, just that this is the last story I’m posting today. Ok, so maybe I’ve been waiting for this to happen.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is “My Name is Jonas” by Weezer (live at the Warped Tour). I don’t know why, but it just feels like the right day for a nerdy bowl cut.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0GpyONUAXg

Enjoy your Friday + College Football Saturday.

Ty and Dan analyze the latest on the Cam Newton situation in light of recent comments by purported associate Kenny Rogers.  Plus, e-mails, voice messages and Week 11 picks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Carrabba, aka Dashboard Confessional, aka guy who attended Florida Atlantic. The Owls play Florida next year, which is actually not very emo at all. Let us all celebrate the fact that Howard Schnellenberger and Chris Carrabba are associated with the same institution.

*****

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez expects himself to be 100% for Kansas on Saturday. He then added, “But 44% would do the trick, it’s Kansas, right?” Ohnohedinnnnt. No, he didn’t.

• The University of Texas regents gave their OK to the future Texas-centric TV network. I’m pretty excited to never, ever watch this unless absolutely forced to. Wouldn’t it have been easier just to call it CBS College Sports Southwest?

• Mississippi State contacted the SEC regarding the recruitment of Cam Newton back in January. “Ruh roh!!” That’s me as Scooby Doo reacting. Why? I have no idea.

• Colorado interim coach Brian Cabral speaks. It’s much easier to coach a football team that way.

• Next year, Florida will play Florida Atlantic, UAB, and Furman. Alabama will play Kent State, North Texas, and Georgia Southern. No decisions have been made yet, but given their salaries, you just KNOW Urban Meyer and Nick Saban will be wearing some beautiful dresses.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers tell you what to watch and make game predictions. I looked, and there’s actual text under the headline “What to Watch in the Big East.” Credibility = Gone.

• Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen breaks down one of the many plays I’ll be using during my Thanksgiving flag football game. Just gotta figure out how to make it work for limited-contact 4 on 4.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall alphabetizes. It’s harder than you think.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel (SVBFF) projects all of the bowl matchups. I’m calling it right now: this year’s Meineke Car Care Bowl will be the best Meineke Car Care Bowl of the year!!

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has pictures of Yankee Stadium and Wrigley Field as they prepare to host Notre Dame/Army and Illinois/Northwestern.

• Alabama RB Trent Richardson is a maybe for Mississippi State. So to those of you trying to figure out if he’ll underwhelm with 63 yards or 77 yards, you’ll have to keep on guessing. But he’s totally better than Mark Ingram. Trust me.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is gameplay of NES’s ExciteBike. I don’t know why, I just remember really liking this game immensely. And then overheating constantly. Grrrrr.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=543dG0EWcYM

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michigan alumnus James Earl Jones. I don’t know how he feels about mgoblog’s general support of Rich Rodriguez, but I felt like posting a picture of the most famous Jones-voiced role, Darth Vader, and thus, I did. Oh and the second most famous would obviously be Mustafa from the Lion King. Another time, Verballers.

*****

• The Big East unanimously voted to become a 10-team football conference. It’s noted that the “obvious” choice is Villanova, while the sneaky pick would, of course, be Alabama.

• Mississippi State DE Nick Bell tragically passed away Tuesday after battling cancer. Thoughts, of course, are with anyone and everyone that knew Bell.

• The Nittany Lion has been dismissed. Or at least the guy inside of him. Wait, that sounded wrong. Ok, I’ll stop.

• LSU Freek checks in with a Bama Hell March. It’s great fun. (via EDSBS)

• Tony Barnhart of CBS Sports and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution thinks Georgia DC Todd Grantham should be suspended for his choke gesture. I have no opinion, other than amazement at the fact that Tony Barnhart is six yards wide in his photograph.

• MGoBlog’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) presents the “Tenuous Case for Keeping Rich Rodriguez.”

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has QB updates on Penn State, Purdue, and Indiana. Whew.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson echoes an email that currently sits in the Avery Labels Inbox (first product I saw) — Hawaii is playing extremely well (7-2. 5-0, 6 W in a row) and their game at Boise State this weekend should be ginormous.

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez should be good to go for Iowa State on Saturday. Those of you with the most neutral accents should be pleased.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin may have overreacted and pressed a bit when Oregon started scoring quickly. It’s nothing to be ashamed of — every first-time PS3/XBOX gamer does the same thing.

Kiffin also, according to RB Marc Tyler, may have single-handedly lost the game for the Trojans. Woops.

• Fox Sports’s Lisa Horne reviews some under-the-radar players. Keep in mind that Ty and I have already discussed most of these guys over the course of the season, but I always enjoy seeing SDSU RB Ronnie Hillman and WSU WR Marquess Wilson get some lurve.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s George Schroeder (SVBFF) talks to former Oregon coach Rich Brooks about the Ducks’ climb to the top of the college football mountain.

• You’re not going to believe this, but in the coincidence of all coincidences, a Boise State player is being accused of a cheap shot. I know, right? Crazy.

• Following a concussion to Miami QB Jacory Harris, (freshman) QB Stephen Morris is the probable starter for the Canes against Maryland on Saturday.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is John Wall doing the “Dougie.” I have no idea why I like this dance so much, but I do. The dream scenario is getting a “Dougie” video from Doug Flutie. Make it happen!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pry6Cp0kSO0

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan do their first show since meeting face-to-face in Lincoln, Nebraska and rehash VerbaCon 2010 as well as the other action during Week 7.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by proud Minnesota resident, Prince. There’s no indication that he pays any attention to the Golden Gophers and their recent dismissal of Tim Brewster, but perhaps the Gophers can turn their disappointing season around by purifying themselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

*****

• Rutgers defensive tackle Eric LaGrand was paralyzed during the Scarlet Knights’ game against Rutgers. It’s an unimaginable horror, so if you’re so inclined, do send him your well wishes.

• Minnesota coach Tim Brewster was relieved of his duties (heh, duties) after the Gophers’ loss to Purdue. But not before receiving another extensions. Gopher up!

• Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett suffered a concussion during Saturday’s loss to Auburn. Even though his “symptoms are improving,” Arkansas fans are still using the Freedom of Information Act to get the doctor’s license plate number and Facebook password. Just because.

• BCS standings are out. Unless you host a terrible sports radio show and need to fill 4-5 hours, this probably doesn’t affect your life.

Ok, it affects Dr. Jerry Palm’s life and we like Dr. Jerry Palm.

• ABC’s Brent Musberger kinda/sorta mentioned Spencer Hall’s blog on the air. We of course would welcome “The Verbally Solid” casually referenced at any point, but only on BYU-TV — wouldn’t want our site flooded or anything.

• A Texas fan documented his trip to Lincoln, NE for the Nebraska game, but only used MS Paint to do so. I love this so much.

Warning: There are cartoon penises.

Related: Taylor Martinez is still the starter at Nebraska, at least for this week.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers take a look at the conference races and issue their weekly power rankings. Once done with those, the group stepped aside and let Big 12 specialist David Ubben take the stage and rock an acoustic Earth, Wind, and Fire cover. Groove it.

• ESPN has some bowl projections. Should both teams win enough, I’m excited to see how Alabama/TCU gets avoided.

• Cal fan and Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz wasn’t too optimistic before Saturday’s USC game. See, you can never let white guy dreads fool you, some of those guys pay attention to, you know, stuff.

• The new UGa loves some giant bags of ice.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel chimes in with his College Football Overtime.

Solid Verbal Behind the Scenes: Stew was a welcome guest into the world of Saturday’s Verbacon celebration in Lincoln. He enthusiastically chatted up Husker fans with us, dropping some knowledge bombs, and withstood a personal space assault from large, well-meaning Husker fan who couldn’t recommend Armen Katayen’s book enough.

Here are some SI.com pictures of Saturday’s action.

• Kentucky Everything Randall Cobb isn’t a fan of the fans.

• A referee during the Florida/Mississippi State game ruled a field goal good and then didn’t. That about covers it.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a first person view of what it’s like to parachute into Michigan Stadium. This is probably cool if you enjoy heights. In my case, let’s just say my feet are sweatier than they were before I started watching this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnJX2FiW-ik

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan replay all the Week Four action, including impressive wins by SEC teams, letdown showings by the Big 12, and the dawning of a special new Big Ten tradition.

Ty and Dan make their picks for all the Week Four action and discuss Vegas as a possible location for a Pac-12 title game, suspicious BCS finances, and a host of Verballer messages.

Ty and Dan talk with Andy Staples about his favorite eateries in college towns and get answers to burning questions about all 12 SEC teams.

Ty and Dan delve into the SEC and chat about Alabama’s quest to repeat, Florida’s retooling, the uptick in Starkville, and the Wild Cock offense at South Carolina.

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Ty and Dan recap all the action on National Signing Day, examining winners, losers and bizarre names that slipped through the cracks.

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Ty and Dan talk with Matt Sanderson from the Playoff PAC (found at PlayoffPAC.com), a political action committee lobbying Congress to reform the way college football crowns a national champion.  Should government be involved in these types of decisions?  What’s being done?  Most importantly, can it actually work?  All that, plus a quick review of the week that was in the world of college football, as well as an update on the Solid Verbal pick’em pools and fantasy league.

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Website: www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan ramp up their efforts in preparation for the start of the college football season by inviting two guests to the program: Rob Moseley from the Eugene Register-Guard to talk Oregon and Anthony Dasher from UGASports.com to discuss Georgia.  Plus, some chit-chat about Rich Rodriguez and Dan’s adventure in the Canadian wilderness. (Episode 55)

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Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan welcome Terry Bowden to the show to talk about his new role as coach at North Alabama, the lessons he learned at Auburn and in the media, what it’s like being a Bowden, and his exciting fundraising event later this month.

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Ty and Dan ponder a USC-Ohio State game without a Beanie Wells injury and assert that Ohio State should no longer be allowed in a BCS Title game. Plus, the duo talks about…

• Dan’s muddy trip to Iowa City and his subpar experience outside Kinnick Stadium
• The illustrious “Phil Steele Threshold”
• Auburn’s soccer-style victory over Mississippi State
• The curse of the Oregon Quarterback and how Oregon alums are preparing themselves accordingly for possible knee injuries
• The Pac-10′s choke job against the Mountain West Conference
• Predictions for the week ahead

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