Ty and Dan are joined by Spencer Hall from Every Day Should Be Saturday to break down the Big Ten’s playoff proposal, the first year of the Will Muschamp era, dealbreakers on the imaginary recruiting trail, and the “Sabanizing” of college football.

Ty and Dan settle into postseason mode by discussing the latest news, running through an early 2012 top five, reading a compelling argument for the BCS, outlining the brilliance of the Paul Finebaum Show, and doing their best to win back a longtime Verballer.

Ty and Dan recap Alabama’s victory, Jordan Jefferson’s shuffle pass, Brad Smelley’s key role, their favorite bowl moments, and West Coast Kevin’s taco triumph.

Ty and Dan talk with Andy Staples from SI.com about his pick for the BCS Championship, the crucial role of special teams, the legacy of Jarrett Lee, and the tweaks needed to break the game one way or another.  Plus, food talk.

Ty and Dan talk with ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt about the BCS rematch between LSU and Alabama, questionable coaching hires, conference realignment, Maryland’s uniforms, Tyrann Mathieu’s silver suit, and blocking kicks in NCAA ’12.

Ty and Dan run through all the action from Conference Championship Week, break down the looming rematch between LSU and Alabama, take a quick glance at their favorite bowl match-ups, and debate another rousing rendition of the Dr. Pepper halftime throwing contest.  Plus, your Week 14 Reverbs.

Ty and Dan break down the impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, Michigan’s triumph over Ohio State, the Heisman credentials of Montee Ball, UCLA’s march to Pac-12 South glory, and all the other action from Rivalry Week.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan recap the so-called “Game of the Century” between LSU and Alabama and wonder whether other television options might’ve been a better choice. Plus, thoughts on the other Week 10 action and more listener voice messages.

Ty and Dan talk with SI.com’s Andy Staples about the giant LSU-Alabama showdown, South Carolina’s chances on the road against Arkansas, the pseudo-quarterback controversy at Oregon, and much more.  Plus, e-mails, locks of the week, and a weirdo musical cameo.

Ty and Dan debate the true definition of “Clemsoning,” break down the laser arm of Andrew Luck, and discuss all the Week 9 action.

Ty and Dan talk with Dan Wetzel from Yahoo! Sports about BCS doomsday scenarios, Fiesta Bowl debauchery, Bill Hancock, Andrew Luck, and the Fake Dan Beebe.

Ty and Dan rehash college football’s eighth week and discuss Kirk Cousins’ Hail Mary, James Franklin’s casual dress Saturday, Clemson’s chances of going unbeaten, and Nick Foles… in a winning effort!

Ty and Dan talk with Spencer Hall about Will Muschamp’s early marks, LSU-Alabama, the Big Ten, “We” Bombs, and a college football version of The Truman Show.  Plus, picks for all the big action during Week Eight.

Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Whenever it is that I get my own TV network, ordering episodes of Playwatch, a show that exclusively features college football coaches running in slow motion for uncomfortable periods of time, will be job one. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Ty and Dan welcome Bruce Feldman back to the show to discuss Clemson’s ceiling, the looming LSU-Alabama showdown, Urban Meyer-to-Penn State rumors, the misunderstood Mike Gundy, and a host of other hot topics in college football.  Plus, your e-mails and voice messages, and a Week 7 Preview.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Ty and Dan make their Week 6 Picks, talk about Missouri’s potential move to the SEC, discuss Michigan’s defense, and debate whether Clemson is 2010 Auburn in disguise.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Milhouse van Houten, who may no longer exist after the spring. More like Thrillhouse, amiright?

*****

• Alabama and LSU haven’t even played once yet and CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders if they could play again in the BCS National Championship. He sees things.

• USC‘s defense is good to go, says coordinator possibly not watching USC games.

• ESPN B1G blogger Brian Bennett believes in Michigan, or at least offers reasons as to why you should.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff and UCLA’s Rick Neuheisel are headed in “different directions.”

• The trailer for a new ESPNU documentary about the first SEC Championship game. Looks pretty excellent actually.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says the Big 12 should just let Mizzou go to greener, more SEC-like pastures.

• Staples also has power rankings in the tune of Star Wars. Yep.

• LSU CB Tyrann Mathieu is down with his “honey badger” nickname. Of course he is.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the new iPhone announcement, but in 90 easy seconds. This should be how life works always.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgnSuRxPQG8

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU graduate and Parks and Rec person Aubrey Plaza. So very glad to have her back on my Thursdays.

*****

• The Arizona Republic is following BCS money. This could get derrrrrty.

• CBS’s Bruce Feldman has deserved praise for LSU CB Tyrann Mathieu, who’s now officially “The Honey Badger.”

• Toledo wants its (SHADY) loss to Syracuse reversed. Seems futile.

• Texas A&M has officially joined the SEC.

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill suffered another seizure and readmitted himself to the hospital. Time will be taken to hopefully get all straightened out.

• Florida State CB Greg Reid was arrested on misdemeanor obstruction of justice and perjury charges. And it involved a scooter. This is all starting to feel very meltdown-y.

• So that’s that for New Mexico coach Mike Locksley after a recruit got a DWI driving a car registered to Locksley. Feels like a no-no.

• ESPN‘s bloggers have conference power rankings and, screw it, power bowl projections. You can’t even begin to contain the power.

• They also learned things. Good for them.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly is up in the weekend’s numbers. I think they got to second base.

• I thought I told you that SI.com’s Stewart Mandel didn’t stop.

• The Wiz has your week four screengrabs. Cincy girl wins the week.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Beats by Dry Cleaner.

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty Hildenbrandt and Dan Rubenstein take a closer look at impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, poke fun at Texas A&M’s pass defense, and devise a diabolical scheme to fix South Carolina’s quarterback problem. Plus, another batch of listener Reverbs and another tale of Nick Foles’ performance… in a losing effort, of course.

Ty and Dan plod through more cumbersome talk of conference realignment and play through Verballer voice messages before previewing week 4 and putting a double-jinx on Saturday’s Florida State-Clemson game.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oregon attendee and Always Sunny in Philadelphia star Kaitlin Olson. Welcome back to teevee, horrible people.

*****

• LSU squashed Mississippi State under their thumb last night. Not pretty.

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is out of the hospital and ready for action (maybe).

• ESPN’s David Ubben talks Iowa State and upward trending.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett chats with Michigan State QB Kirk Cousins ahead of tomorrow’s Notre Dame game.

• Oklahoma‘s regents are meeting on Monday. This passes for news, apparently.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson previews tonight’s Boise State-Toledo matchup.

• Cal coach Jeff Tedford was reprimanded for speaking poorly of officials.

• SI.com’s Jordan Conn profiles FIU’s T.Y. Hilton. T.Y. Hildenbrandt is very excited.

• The Wiz has a prognostication wrap of writers from across the country.

• Maryland‘s down two receivers for the West Virginia game.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features The Dude and some sweet, sweet soul.

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Macalester College (go Scots!) alum and Friday Night Lights co-creator Peter Berg. Here’s to hoping he goes home with some hardware Sunday night.

*****

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is still in the hospital. Here’s to hoping he comes out soon and does so bigger, stronger, faster, etc. KILL!

• Mississippi State hosts LSU tonight. SB Nation’s Bill Connelly seeks to make you wiser about the whole affair.

• SI.com’s Maggie Gray talks to Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher ahead of Saturday night’s Oklahoma game.

• Bob and Mark Stoops meet up again Saturday night. CBS’s Brett McMurphy gets all up in the brotherhood.

• Arizona WR Juron Criner is questionable vs Stanford, due to a complete lack of an appendix.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles walk-on Oklahoma starting RB Dominique Whaley. Walk-on power! (©Andy Staples)

• Big Daddy’s excited for Saturday’s Nebraska game.

• ESPN‘s bloggers will tell you what to watch this weekend AND YOU WILL LIKE IT. Now finish your vegetables.

• Predictions are also available, should you choose to accept.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers your questions in text form.

• Ohio State is down an edge rusher (their really good one).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best taxidermy commercial you’ll see all morning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJP1DphOWPs

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy, alumnus of the road, that’s what. Also he sings Black Eyed Peas songs way better than anyone else.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd says Texas overplayed its hand with the Longhorn Network. Dennis Dodd would be correct.

• Louisville will see your two-headed QB monster and raise you a triple.

• UCLA lost its center to sweet lady ganja for a game.

• LSU WR Russell Shepard will now sit three games.

• Arizona State will black out Friday night.

• ESPN‘s bloggers are very specific about what they want you to watch this weekend. Don’t cross them.

• Said bloggers also do some old fashion predictin’.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall has a Week One Alphabetical. Get silly, folks.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder says Baylor just wants to make sure Baylor gets taken care of.

• Rick Neuheisel may be the only one who cares at UCLA. About right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for More than Me, a documentary about comedian Jim Breuer taking his 84-year-old dad on the road with him.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVaQBSKHvfw

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan lick their wounds after Notre Dame and Oregon suffer losses, but power through a full hour and recap all the significant Week One action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oregon alumnus and sometime entrepreneur Phil Knight. Felt right.

*****

• Mississippi State rolled Memphis. Pretty numbers can be found next to the names of Bulldog QB Chris Relf and RB Vic Ballard.

• Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson and the Badgers had a fun Thursday night in Madison.

• CBS’s (!) Bruce Feldman has weekend picks. He began by missing the exact Wisconsin score by two points. Good start.

• USC secondary coach WIllie Mack Garza resigned. “NCAA probe” and “Willie Lyles” are two names that a report mentioned. Oops.

• Kentucky played Western Kentucky. Let’s just forget it ever happened.

• Syracuse‘s path to the national championship just got a little clearer.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall wrote this yesterday. SB Nation’s Spencer Hall wrote this. Not fair.

• ESPN‘s bloggers debate international free trade trends. Just kidding, it’s just Boise St -- Georgia.

• Connor Shaw will (maybe?) start at QB for South Carolina against ECU tomorrow. This can only end well, right?

• Ohio State is getting their suspension on. Feels like old times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples talks to LSU coach Les Miles in moving pictures.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa is listed as “questionable” for tomorrow’s game at Boston College.

• Alabama‘s going with two QBs tomorrow. Fancy.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features a slingshot slip ‘n slide that launches people into a lake. I’m in.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShFAeNdiEiA

Enjoy your Friday. AND COLLEGE FOOTBALL SATURDAY!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan kick off their fourth season as hosts of The Solid Verbal by reviewing the news of the week, reading a handful of Verballer messages, and previewing the biggest games of 2011′s opening weekend.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vassar attendee Anthony Bourdain. If you haven’t seen this week’s No Reservations in Cajun country, you must hate food. Or have other, more interesting things to do with your time.

*****

• Texas A&M will apply to leave the Big 12. Hurray.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd likes Oklahoma as a wire-to-wire #1 team. Or he just needed to write a column.

• Eight Miami players have been suspended for the season opener at Maryland. Guess Jacory Harris‘s confidence will have to wait another week.

• Oklahoma State is down two players for their opener Saturday. They’ll be fine.

• Joe Bauserman is your new Ohio State starting QB. It’s the sort of news that makes you gently nod your head and quietly say, “That’s reasonable” to yourself.

• SmartFootball’s Chris Brown breaks down the “inverted veer/dash read.” You may have seen it run by such undefeated teams as TCU and Auburn. Good enough.

• ESPN has “Sweet Beginnings,” which is either a series of profiles about new players and coaches, or an uncomfortable foray into graphic stories of passion.

• UCLA will play two QBs against Houston. It’s just what they do.

• Wondering about B1G Leaders? Wonder no more.

• Ditto Legends.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples talks Jarrett Lee.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel works overtime.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is John Kransinski and Alec Baldwin and their tomfoolery. Worth it for 9-1-2.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EUTEPFq5iQ

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan team up with Rob Moseley from The Eugene Register-Guard and Carter Bryant from KLSU to break down this week’s Oregon-LSU matchup from all perspectives

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former dental student Sofía Vergara. She’ll soon return to all of our lives in wondrous HD. 

*****

• Texas A&M absolutely did not send the Big 12 a withdrawl letter. Update: They almost assuredly will.

• Top incoming Oklahoma freshman WR Trey Metoyer will be academically ineligible this season. Just between you and me, they’ll be fine.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff profiles Mississippi State’s linebackers. Apparently, the key for them is “working hard.” Thanks for the insight, fellas.

• Ohio State released its first depth chart with a big “OR” between Joe Bauserman and Braxton Miller at QB. Why they can’t just sew the two of them together and try to beat the system that way is beyond me.

• Florida has a depth chart. Sharif Floyd at DE seems mildly unfair.

• News and notes from the Big East. Presented without further comment.

• Fearless SEC predictions are available. Such courage.

• Texas has a depth chart. It was released during a six hour Longhorn Network depth chart special. Also, Mack Brown says “more unique” in an attached video, which, of course, isn’t an actual phrase.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall previews the Big 12. Pie charts are heavily leaned on.

• Things are getting colorful for Maryland at their home opener. Good luck with all of that.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has bowl projections. It’s just that time.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has 15 impact freshmen. He calls it the Freshman 15, because, well, you get it.

• Lawyerin’ is now a thing with LSU and Jordan Jefferson.

• LSU is down a starting guard. Knees are total jerks.

• A new Rivals 100 is out. Adjust your Tuesdays.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features hilarious August injuries. It really was a great month for funny pain.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZvL58nBC68

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Longhorn Network mascot McConaughey. Big week for him.

*****

• Miami QB Jacory Harris thinks he’ll be playing in a week. I imagine it’ll be just that easy.

• Also, Harris admires penguins, so there’s that.

• ESPN has conference power rankings. They got the SWAC all wrong. Typical.

• Texas A&M has around a week left before they’re OUT (maybe).

• ESPN’s Ted Miller advises against counting Rick Neuheisel out. The Solid Verbal’s Dan Rubenstein says do whatever you want.

• ESPN’s Ivan Maisel profiles Stanford coach David Shaw and David Shaw’s dad. Aw.

• The Daily says Texas A&M is screwing everything up for everyone. About right.

• LSU‘s 2010 offense totally wasn’t Gary Crowton‘s fault, confirms Gary Crowton.

• SI.com’s Richard Deitsch leads a CFB TV roundtable. Interesting stuff.

• Oregon‘s starting a RS freshman at center against LSU‘s defensive line. Pray for mojo.

• USC LB Chris Galippo is healed and 100%. Translation, he’s feeling better and at around 78%.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an adorable baby jaguar. Feels right.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWkIMUfamxI

Enjoy your Monday. IT’S GAME WEEK.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Minka Kelly. Gentlemen, start your engines.

*****

• Arrest warrants for second degree battery (felony) have been issued for QB Jordan Jefferson and LB Josh Johns. Not good.

• Eight Miami players are currently ineligible, including QB Jacory Harris. Time to grease some NCAA wheels, Hurricane boosters.

• LSU WR Russell Shepard has been suspended indefinitely for a “compliance” issue surrounding the NCAA‘s investigation of Will Lyles.

• SMU says it’s ready for some Big 12 football. Cute.

• Pac-12 players talk about ASU LB Vontaze Burfict. They’re all wisely very careful with their words.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson profiles the San Diego State backfield.

• Chip Kelly and Les Miles filmed (separate) ESPN Gameday commercials. I give the acting nod to Kelly here.

• Oregon and Boise State have new NIke Pro Combat uniforms. And they’re weird and great.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel falls in love with five unranked teams.

• Another Arizona defender is out for the year, this time it’s CB Jonathan McKnight. Brutal.

• JoePa is a Skyping machine. I’m told the kids LOVE the Skype.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is OK Go covering the Muppets theme song.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiMZa8flyYY

Enjoy your Friday. (And one more Saturday without football)

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Andy Staples from SI.com and preview the upcoming SEC season, Alabama’s defense, Mark Richt’s job security, Stephen Garcia’s leadership, LSU’s questions, and Kentucky’s non-existent offense.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Reed College attendee Steve Jobs. Fare thee well, sir.

*****

• Tennessee S Janzen Jackson is out in Knoxville after multiple failed drug tests. Things got a little happier in SEC receiver meetings.

• LSU QB Jordan Jefferson had his home searched by police, who took DNA swabs and looked for evidence in connection to Jefferson’s alleged role in a Baton Rouge bar fight last week.

• Purdue QB Rob Henry tore an ACL, which means he’s a Purdue offensive skill position player.

• The Big East needs points and they need ‘em bad.

• Former Oregon RB Lache Seastrunk has already begun practicing with Baylor. Inspiring times for 5th string RBs everywhere.

• Florida gets the Bill Connelly treatment at SB Nation.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart takes a tour of the fall’s games that will determine the 2011 BCS champion. And Nebraska-Wisconsin.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag and SI.com’s Andy Staples has a new Mark Cuban CFB column. Stew and Andy with the ol’ SI 1-2!!

• Something called All-Access: Oklahoma aired on ESPN earlier this week. There were highlights.

• Big East Week is getting out of control at Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday.

• Touted Oregon freshman TE Colt Lyerla will play this year. A lot.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Nebraska jersey unboxing porn. It’s a very specific fetish.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZvJ-uEduqM

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Maryland grad Larry David. Curb was fantastic Sunday and now the Terps get new gear. It’s always good to be LD.

*****

• The LSU players involved in last week’s Baton Rouge bar fight could face felony battery charges.

• The number of Miami players with eligibility issues going into the opener sits around 15. This seems worrisome.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks TCU and CBS’s Jerry Hinnen previews the entire Mountain West. Tag Team back again.

• Seth Doege is officially Texas Tech’s starting QB. Not a surprise.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett speaks with Michigan QB Denard Robinson.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Wisconsin depth chart notes. (Theres a “1″ next to Russell Wilson‘s name)

• A list of SEC newcomers to file away. Also, SEC scrimmage notes exist.

• Notes from the last Boise State scrimmage can be read.

• Fox’s Gus Johnson visits Tempe (in a private jet) to visit ASU. Let’s all pretend like he isn’t wearing a shirt with his own catchphrase on it, ok?

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly gets his Norman on.

• Whatever, I like the new Maryland helmets.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel picks Dana Holgorsen’s brain. I like.

• SI.com hired EDSBS and SB Nation’s Holly Anderson. She immediately does work re: LSU.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is outtakes from the Food Network’s Sandra Lee. HOMEMADE.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-VNg9y4pB4

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by noted boat captain and laddy mag officer Hugh Hefner. He also is quite familiar with what Oskee Wow Wow means. I-L-L.

*****

• Four LSU players (including QB Jordan Jefferson) will be questioned soon about their alleged involvement in a bar fight. Well played, LSU, never let Oregon and the Pac-12 one-up the SEC with anything.

• NC State DT J.R. Sweezy is out six weeks after breaking his foot. Shame, he’s the captain of the All Real-Name-Sounds-Like-A-Nickname team.

• CBS’s Eric Sorenson has schedule grades. Kudos for the “F-” addition.

• Oregon RB Lache Seastrunk, a once-touted prospect and current central person in the ongoing Will Lyles saga, has decided to transfer, possibly to Baylor. Worth it!

• Nebraska‘s studying up for the B1G.

• ESPN‘s conference bloggers have bowl projections, just in case it had been too long without reading the words “Meineke Car Care” on a sports site.

• Notre Dame will name a starting QB tomorrow. The lathering sound you hear is coming from Eastern PA.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Alabama, proving he’ll preview any team, no matter how small or well-dressed they may be.

• Georgia has new uniforms for Week 1′s Boise State game.

• Is there a Taiwanese animation to accompany the Miami-Nevin Shapiro story? You tell me.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney previews the Mountain West. Hoping he didn’t wear blue on blue when he wrote it. Scandal.

• Celebrate former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro with new, comfortable attire!

• Rivals has the top ten flaws in college football. ACTUAL football flaws.

• “Boston College RB” is the new “Spinal Tap drummer.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is what you get when you combine a former fighter pilot who is now well into his 70s, a video camera, and a frank talk about boners.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGJ1zTMEupw

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the number one Miami fan (and graduate) in national TV news, Chuck Todd. I’ll bet he’s working for the weekend.

*****

• The death penalty has not been broached by the NCAA re: Miami.

• There is no NCAA realignment summit, according to NCAA president Mark Emmert. That’s what they want you to think.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris will miss some time (and possibly BC‘s opener) after undergoing knee surgery. This hits close to home — we feel what Spaziani feels.

• Miami coach Al Golden wanted a little heads up, that’s all.

• LSU coach Les Miles now says WR Russell Shepard could possibly sit out the Oregon game after all while his compliance issue gets sorted out. Oops.

• Florida released a statement indicating that their players mentioned in the Yahoo! Miami report are cleared to play. Whew.

• Same goes for Kansas State’s Brown brothers, they of paper and high school fame.

• ESPN’s Chris Low asks Auburn QB questions. I’d answer, but my lawyer has advised me against any such action.

• Wisconsin AD and former coach Barry Alvarez (and son) lost over a million dollars to the Ponzi scheme of former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro.

• Former Miami AD Paul Dee wanted the guillotine dropped on USC. He has some ‘splaining to do.

• I apparently went to the wrong UCLA practice.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews the “invisible” USC Trojans.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder has a Pac-12 preview.

• Central Florida has mail!

• Penn State still needs a quarterback.

• Nebraska CB Alfonzo Dennard has a bum leg. Not an actual bum’s leg, but rather just an injury. I’m positive you needed that clarification.

• TCU QB Casey Pachall (“Pa-ha” is what I’m told) has a bum shoulder. This one ACTUALLY IS a bum’s shoulder.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy dancing with a bottle opener in front of a cheetah mural. A senior citizen makes a cameo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkdIVJ3Nngo

Enjoy your Thursday. Support support support. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by San Francisco State Dana Carvey, whose “Critic’s Choice” standup special still holds up. Also, read an oral history of his old variety show. And chop some broccoli.

*****

• OU OLB Travis Lewis will miss eight weeks after breaking his toe. He’s expected to tackle everyone in the hospital. Twice.

• You’ll start rooting for Tulsa QB G.J. Kinne in 3..2..1…

• A limited James Rodgers is practicing for Oregon State. Scary.

• More details about the arrest of Texas S Christian Scott have come out. Not good.

• More Dr Saturday SEC Week lurve. Jump on it.

• Rivals has a Texas A&M preview in which they appear to be just as confused about the Aggie possibilities as we all are.

• EDSBS contributor Anonymous IV at Mono Lake has a new system of college football taxonomy. Have fun with this.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders if Arkansas can be the next Auburn. I’ll do you one better and tell you if they are with absolute certainty in mid-December.

• ESPN quickly runs down conference Heisman candidates and Nick Foleses.

• ESPN‘s bloggers give out QB superlatives. FINALLY, some attention for QBs on ESPN.

• Previewing LSU might be what sends SB Nation’s Bill Connelly completely over the edge.

• Ole Miss is going to slowly flatten all of their best footballs.

• Virginia has one enormous player and many smaller ones who will hit you with flags.

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill will make you clean a horse stall. He won’t think twice about it, either.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features Gabe, today’s bulldog of the day.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tcJws5xM8s

Enjoy your Wednesday. Get the look!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Stiller, brief UCLA attendee. Fockers aside, I’ll still watch Zoolander whenever/wherever.

*****

• LSU OC Steve Kragthorpe is stepping down as LSU’s offensive coordinator, but will continue to coach QBs after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. This is awful. The absolute best to him and his.

• The first USA Today Coaches’ Poll is out. You can’t imagine how much it means. Mostly because it means nothing.

• Parlazed Rutgers DL Eric LeGrand spoke to SportsCenter about his recovery. Always awesome.

• The B1G will go to nine conference games in 2017. Let’s all take a moment to remember Eastern Michigan.

• Texas WR Malcolm WIlliams is leaving the Longhorns.

• Butch Davis offered a UNC scholarship (written) to his QB son Drew before he got let go. Naturally, UNC chancellor Holden Thorp committed an NCAA violation talking about how mad it made him.

• UNC DL Brandon Willis just likes the road, man.

• Purdue has new, über plain uniforms. About right.

• Four Big East teams open camp today. ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has quick hitters.

• She does the same for BYU, which I have taken to phonetically pronouncing “Bayou” out loud just to spice things up.

• The Iron Bowl is being used to arrest deadbeat dads (complete with a fun soundtrack!). Really.

• Rivals has DL rankings. SALTINESS ABOUND.

• Auburn may utilize a redshirt freshman RB who checks in around three bills. DO IT.

• SI.com contributor George Schroeder examines Larry Scott’s ability to further expand the Pac-12.

• South Carolina isn’t down with the Twitter. #SadTweet is a real thing.

• Dr Saturday‘s Pac-12 Week continues with the Oregon schools and hot seats. #SadNeuFace

• Trans-conference robbery is a real thing!

• USC practice opened up last night. We could be setting our watches to Baxter Time for at least a few quarters, at which point he’ll probably just wander off somewhere.

• Rivals has a Big East preview. Where have I seen this before? That’s right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dude traveling the world, six frames at a time.

Enjoy your Friday. Shirts increasing in volume next week, buy now to tell your friends you bought when it was cool.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Virginia Hoo (attendee), Talladega Nights actress, and all-around good looking person Leslie Bibb.

*****

• Ohio State apparently did NOT fail to monitor their student-athletes. CBS’s Bryan Fischer is STEAMED.

• Tennessee has recommended two years of probation for its crimes against NCAA humanity under former basketball coach Bruce Pearl and former football coach Lane Kiffin. A lot of probing.

• The Big 12 has media days today and tomorrow. Texas will be holding its own party and it’s going to be way cooler than the party you guys are throwing.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy speaks with the most fashionably casual conference commissioner of them all, the ACC’s John Swofford. Even his last name sounds like an exceedingly comfortable polo shirt.

• Florida DB Matt Elam has been cited for underage alcohol possession, thus dragging Florida‘s sterling name through the mud. For shame.

• CBS’s Mr. CFB briefly profiles Florida St QB E.J. Manuel. FINALLY, Florida State gets some preseason ink.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday rips open the ACC with conference notes, defining games, and previews during ACC Week.

• ESPN humbly submits an anonymous Mountain West prediction.

• I don’t know what ESPN’s Heather Dinich and Pat Forde talk about here, I just know Forde does not look impressed by your camera equipment. An ACC notebook is also present.

• Fox Sports also seems to think that Florida State kinda, sorta needs to win one for the Atlantic Coast.

• An All-SEC preseason team exists.

• LSU WR Russell Shepard isn’t suspended, but may have some sort of compliance issue to address. Or something.

• FoxSports has a Big 12 preview. And it’s fully stocked with (Texas A&M RB) Christine Michael references. Well, one.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Iowa. He anticipates the sound of a record suddenly being stopped on a turntable. Ree-rr!

• SI.com’s Jordan Conn profiles star South Carolina WR Alshon Jeffrey. It’s good, but not nearly as promising as SI.com’s Alshon Jeffrey profiling South Carolina WR Jordan Conn (as I originally envisioned).

• Colorado’s poster schedule is brought to you by Verizon, so if you don’t like it, Verizon customer service will tell you to go straight to hell.

• Rivals profiles woefully under-appreciated BC RB Montel Harris.

• Smart Football’s Chris Brown talks first half two point conversions. He’s anti.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best pre-NASCAR race prayer ever.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J74y88YuSJ8

Enjoy your Monday. Stay clothed.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by mustachio’d NYU attendee Sarah Silverman. Lady mustaches have yet to bore me.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks SEC commissioner Mike Slive’s hopes and dreams for change in the SEC. If you read between the lines, dropping football as a conference sports seems like a real possibility.

• …And SEC coaches aren’t fans of hopes and dreams.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks the NCAA will listen to Mike Slive and then not listen.

• The EYE also has choice SEC Media Day quotes and summaries from Steve Spurrier, Will Muschamp, Bobby Petrino, and Dan Mullen.

• ESPN has their own choice SEC quotes and moments.

• The NCAA‘s investigation into Auburn and the recruitment of Cam Newton continually has new life. Good thing coach Gene Chizik admonished an NCAA enforcement official at a rules meeting a few weeks ago. Whew!

• Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Or not.

• I hope you’re sitting down … LSU received outdated recruiting video from Will Lyles.

• Former (briefly) Florida RB and current Auburn RB Mike Blakely had his appeal to immediately play for the Tigers denied.

• Florida RB Jeff Demps is still considering a pro track career, which is good because he’s generally the fastest sprinting human in college.

• Texas talks Longhorn Network, which is going to be totally fair, you guys.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner examines the forthcoming Pac-12 Network. He thinks things will finally be coming up Milhouse (Time Warner)!

• How will the B1G respond to Mike Slive. Slowly?

• Big 12 position rankings are FINALLY here, and they’re brought to you by Texas, because legally, every sentence that contains “Big 12” must also contain “Texas.”

• Big East tight ends are ranked. If you knew all of these players, you’re either gifted, nerdy, or run the Big East Coast Bias blog.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Wisconsin, who now have an adjusted loss to UNLV. Cheer up Rebel fans, you now have a math win!

• SI.com’s Tim Layden reminisces about the best team he ever covered, the 1995 Nebraska squad, a team that still gives Steve Spurrier occasional night terrors.

• Auburn has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars … defending allegations tied to the recruitment of Cam Newton.

• North Texas is riding Green Lantern Fever, which, of course, doesn’t exist. And UTEP is doing everything they can to remind you just which sport they play.

• ESPN’s commentator assignments for the 2011 season have been released. Things just got a little bit more Hawkins in here.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Steve Nash being awesome at parking.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXFF5_GIsV0

Enjoy your Thursday. New shirts soon.

***Follow me on the Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about the launch of his new site (OutkickTheCoverage.com) and his thoughts on a hodgepodge of SEC topics in the midst of Media Days.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Carnegie Mellon attendee and LSU fan Katy Mixon. Sorry, what was I saying?

*****

• Mike Vrabel retired from the NFL and has accepted a job to coach LBs at Ohio State.

• Ex-Mizzou QB Tyler Gabbert is the new Tate Forcier. Adjust your brains.

• Georgia RB Caleb King will be academically ineligible to compete this fall. And yes, he’s hoping to be drafted supplementally.

• ESPN previews Pac-12 interior defensive linemen. I’ll save you some time — pretty much everyone that was good last year is gone.

• Notre Dame plays three ACC games. ESPN’s Heather Dinich takes an early July crack at the outcomes.

• ESPN ranks the SEC’s best home run threats. ESS EE SEE afmnvmjqdgnaqdfjk.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett isn’t impressed by Ohio State’s response to the NCAA‘s notice of allegations.

• Oklahoma CB Jamell Fleming has rejoined the Sooners. It appears to be a reverse Caleb King situation.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly delights in previewing Stanford. Basically, the Cardinal are going to do what you expect them to do, they’ll just do it well enough to be successful. Pretty simple, really.

• Litigious former UNC DE Michael McAdoo cheated like crazy on a paper. Allegedly. (LIKE CRAZY)

• Michigan received a verbal commitment from a former Ohio State verbal commitment. Hilarious.

• Ole Miss RB Brandon Bolden is shvitzing.

• Rivals ranks their top 25 teams of the past ten years (in recruiting).

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer wraps coverage of The Opening, last week’s major recruiting combine/tournament on the Nike campus in Portland, OR.

• IGN has posted their review of NCAA ’12, which appears to be slowly becoming an off-the-field experience that also features actual gameplay.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the return of Kenny Powers, K-Swiss CEO. BOOM.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIQ0EhEMiSs

Enjoy your Monday. Get ya’ clothing!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kevin James, SUNY Cortland attendee. I swear to you, he used to be a funny stand-up. I promise.

*****

• For the first time, Ohio St AD Gene Smith admits that he asked Jim Tressel to resign. I’m guessing “asked” is probably a kind word for “told.” Just guessing though.

• There might not be an NFL season again. Or something.

• B1G commissioner Jim Delaney wouldn’t mind the conference going rogue. Or off the grid. Either one sounds cool.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has a recruiting notebook. I’ll bet it has rad, hand-drawn band logos all over it. Total badass.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris has slowly started paying back the $8500 he owes in traffic fines. As always, money be green.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett speaks with Indiana’s Kevin Wilson. Intensely.

• Big East safeties are ranked. By and large, they outperformed all Big East doorknobs. Nailed it.

• Former Nebraska QB Cody Green might visit USC. A private word to Cody — eating at Chano’s at 1 AM will seem like a fine idea until the next morning.

• Fox Sports Ohio lists “giant killers.” If they did crazy, petite killers, Casey Anthony would’ve been a shoe-in.

• Trust me, LSU QB Jordan Jefferson is a sure-thing to have a great year. I haven’t a single question about him.

• Rivals profiles Hawaii QB Bryant Moniz.

• Washington RB Deontae Cooper tore his ACL. Again.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jake Gyllenhaal vs Wild. Ty apparently loves this stuff.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Snaibcz1-mo

Enjoy your Friday. Purchase!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan join back up and chat about Russell Wilson’s transfer to Wisconsin, Oregon’s shady situation, the veteran leadership of Stephen Garcia, and the beautiful irony of Chris Hansen.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chicago State attendee Kanye West. “College Graduate” or “Ph.D Candidate” just doesn’t have the same ring for a huge hip-hop album, does it?

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd got probation in his DUI case. I wonder how he’s going to celebrate.

• New Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson talks about his commitment to the Badgers. It’s about 30% as exciting as you think it’ll be.

• Wisconsin getting QB Russell Wilson somehow affects Oregon State, because the Beavers you see, at one point, had a shot in Madison this year.

• Two Alabama players have been suspended and each of them has an awesome name.

• ESPN ranks Big East WRs. Rutgers apparently has the best corps, which of course makes no sense.

• UNC DE Quinton Coples should be good to go. Sorry, ACC.

• ESPN then ranks B1G OL, which, if memory serves, is all of them.

• Rivals is counting down all 120 teams. Get yourself knowledge’d up.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly is selling on Arizona. The troublesome detail of them replacing nearly all of their big people worries him/everyone.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi appears on the CBS College Football Podcast. We will bury you, CBS. (or link to your podcast with writers we like)

• Oklahoma CB Tony Jefferson really knows how to put things into perspective.

• LSU has received less attention for its dealings with Willie Lyles than Oregon has. LSUFreek explains why. Kind of.

(I hope I inspired this.)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the Mission Impossible 17 trailer. I just can’t quit you, Brad Bird.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0LQnQSrC-g

Enjoy your Wednesday. Dress yourself.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mary-Louise Parker, former North Carolina School of the Arts student. And Weeds star. And … I lost my train of thought. She probably doesn’t know about Butch Davis’s troubles, and I don’t care.

*****

• North Carolina pretty much broke every rule. Total bad boys of the ACC, for sure.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel thinks UNC coach Butch Davis will survive. Basically, he’s a T1000.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks to Oregon coach Chip Kelly about the Ducks‘ ongoing situation with the NCAA. Win the Dodd.

• ESPN ranks Big 12 WRs/TEs and then SEC DBs. Trust me, you can’t overstate how huge the DBs are in the south.

• ESPN then ranks Big 10 QBs. Michigan QB Denard Robinson is apparently the best they’ve got.

• Pitt officially welcomed Ohio State LB transfer Ejuan Price into their awaiting arms.

• Auburn got blung (past tense of a new verb).

• Football Study Hall cracks open the UNC door and notices that things got better as games went on. Also, things could potentially get much worse.

• New lesson: Always give Rick Ross credit in your tweets.

• Oklahoma St is building a $16 million practice facility. Psh, I bet they don’t even have an organic juice bar built in.

• Rivals talks to former Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez.

• Ohio State president Gordon Gee stood before a group of nuns and apologized for using “Little Sisters of the Poor” in vain. Whattaguy.

• UCLA OL Stan Hasiak is academically ineligible, which I believe brings him to seven strikes.

• LSU coach Les Miles pretty much owns an 8-foot basketball hoop. His young daughter stood no chance.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Tom Hanks doing an impromptu weather report. For Spanish-speaking TV.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeOG5tN-Hu8

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy MORE things.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former New York School of Visual Arts right tackle Fred Armisen. He also gave a commencement speech.

*****

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris took a leisurely drive (in a dubiously rented car with a suspended license) somewhere in the 118 mph range and state police apparently frowned upon it. Whatever.

• Ohio State introduced new (interim) head coach Luke Fickell. He was asked fair questions and gave back nothing but cliches. Have fun, Columbus media.

• Former Ohio St QB Terrelle Pryor signed yesterday with Drew Rosenhaus and they’ll address the media at 2 PM ET. It promises to be definitely-miss TV.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall plays indoor football with an actual semi-pro team. His spleen is still MIA.

• An excerpt from the 2010-2011 College Basketball Prospectus entitled “The Trouble with Amateurism.” Go get yer learnin’ on. Seriously.

• ESPN’s Chris Low ranks SEC QBs. It’s a two and a half men situation. (The half is Relf, not Jefferson, by the way)

• Nebraska AD Tom Osborne never really liked the Big 12. Rapscallion.

• Penn St QB Robert Bolden is still (as of now) enrolled at Penn St. So there you go.

• Football Study Hall thinks Notre Dame has a chance to go HAM on their schedule. Also, I’m using the term “HAM” as often as possible since learning its meaning.

• Giant sports agency IMG is getting in on the 7-on-7 game. Of course.

• Hawaii REALLY didn’t want to honor a scholarship offer.

• Florida Atlantic safety Cortez Ash was arrested for stealing 400 pounds of copper, or around $1,200 dollars worth. They were THIS close to running the most kickass counterfeit penny ring in all of Indian River County. Damn.

• The NCAA is inviting 50 school presidents to a retreat. Emmert’s taking care of the mallows.

• Rivals has position-specific rankings for the recruiting class of 2012.

• NC State QB Mike Glennon is profiled. He’s tall.

• Florida St kicker Dustin Hopkins takes on a Florida St women’s soccer player in a kicking challenge. An uncomfortable microphone and two superfluous minutes are involved.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Conan’s commencement speech to the Dartmouth class of 2011. Finally, Ivy League kids catch a break.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmDYXaaT9sA

Enjoy your Tuesday. Buy things at our store.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college attendee Matthew Broderick, who has the distinct honor of now being 25 years removed from his best work AND being married to Sarah Jessica Parker. I just made myself sad for no reason.

*****

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart officially resigned, making OC/brief coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen the new Mountaineer head coach.

• Did Jim Tressel and Ohio State receive a warning email about alleged Buckeye memorabilia seller Dennis Talbott in 2007? Some say probably.

• Wisconsin WR Nick Toon commented on possible QB transfer Russell Wilson. NOT COOL (if you care about dumb secondary NCAA violations).

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik got PAID. Oversized leather jackets for everyone!

• SI.com’s Andy Staples suggests that perhaps West Virginia didn’t handle the whole “coach-in-waiting” thing properly. How dare he.

• Don’t pretend like LSUFreek wasn’t ready for Stewart/Holgo ’11.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has a roundup of the weekend’s non-AQ excitement. Summary: Houston QB Case Keenum‘s got a wife, Wyoming‘s got a HS kid starting at QB, etc.

• Nebraska QB transfer Cody Green is looking at Big 12 schools. You don’t just pass up a chance to sometimes play on regional Fox Sports networks, you guys.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich is totally down with Virginia Tech’s 2011 defense. Way out on a limb there, Heather.

• Did Ohio State players get free golf? I’ll say………… “yes.”

• Penn St coach Joe Paterno uses an iMac bigger than Joe Paterno to skype with recruits. COMETOPENNSTATE (signs off accidentally).

• Notre Dame and Michigan will play under the lights in Michigan Stadium wearing retro uniforms. Michigan wins the thread war.

• Former Ohio St coach Jim Tressel says “Thanks but no thanks” to the mandatory coaching seminar he would’ve had to attend if he were still coaching.

• Florida St coach Jimbo Fisher really wants to do this commercial. Really, he does. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a performance from last night’s Tony Awards from “The Book of Mormon,” the musical written by the South Park guys, which i kind of need to see immediately.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tggtPHDmrR8

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Wisconsin graduate and Workaholics star Anders Holm. He’s clearly excited about the (possible) prospect of Russell Wilson moving to Madison.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd thinks if Bill Stewart stays in Morgantown, things will be uncomfortable all around. YUP.

• Did President Obama and Auburn WR coach Trooper Taylor chest bump? What do you think?

• Former Ohio St RB Maurice Clarett blamed the school’s recent problems on the general culture of the Buckeyes and Columbus.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel explains why the Ohio State case is worse than USC’s. See! I can read headlines.

• Former Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer isn’t openly saying he wants the open Tennessee AD job, he’s just making it clear to an ESPN reporter that he’s open to it. Or something.

• Sometimes, he that they call “LSUFreek” misses on one of his GIFs. The other 100% of the time, gold comes spewing out.

• This is a picture of Mike Bellamy, incoming Clemson RB. He’s whatever not-bright is.

• Former NC State QB Russell Wilson visited Wisconsin this week. Things are looking badgery.

• ESPNU released their 2012 ESPNU 150. #138 is a dandy.

• Is heralded Ohio St freshman QB Braxton Miller the man to immediately take over the Buckeyes? Maybe!

• Football Study Hall stares at Michigan and kinda wishes Rich Rod just would’ve hired a better defensive coordinator.

• Wake Forest is down two defensive starters. I’m guessing they couldn’t really afford this.

• Adult Swim got in their shot at Ohio State. Pure elegance.

Today’s Video of the Day is the next big thing. Or the next icy, weird thing. Coning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WygNjMSllLQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UC Riverside alum and Hangover Part 2 actress Jamie Chung. Chung is attractive and UCR is known has the Highlanders and their bear mascot has a half blue face to honor William Wallace. No part of that sentence was invented in any way.

*****

• Former Ohio State WR Ray Small sold his Buckeye memorabilia while still enrolled and on the team. I just hope Jim Tressel doesn’t fire E. Gordon Gee. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg puts it into context.

• USC‘s appeal of the NCAA‘s 2010 decision was straight Mutumbo’d. Remember USC’s 2004 BCS title? Wrong, you don’t.

• Is the Big East expanding? Could they add another school in Texas or the service academies? Find out next time on “Maybe?”!!

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel explains why Alabama is his preseason #1. He surmises that their outstanding good players will impact their fortunes.

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen and WVU AD Oliver Luck agreed that Holgorsen’s mystery actions were “inappropriate.” Stop with the teasing already, Morgantown.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt appears to be selling his lake house because he’s a charitable human being. I’m ok with this.

• LSU is “oozing” with talent. DC John Chavis illustrates this, um, accurately in the attached photo.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff addresses SEC QB battles. Apparently, nobody knows who’s going to throw for a crapload of INTs in Oxford yet.

• Fox Sports, with an assist from a photo gallery of ACC cheerleaders, profiles new Clemson QB Tajh Boyd, Boyd, by all accounts, had a mostly horrific spring, though it’s oddly not mentioned here at all. But the cheerleaders definitely are.

• Football Study Hall has your stinkin’ numbers right here, UCLA. And they really are quite stinkin’.

• A high school freshman has eight major verbal scholarship offers. This can only end well.

• Indiana football is going to be different this time. Honest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a clip from last night’s amazing NCAA South Park (via EDSBS).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVfiaVM0ap8

Enjoy your Thursday

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Athens, GA native Kim Basinger, who probably doesn’t know Jake Scott, recent College Football Hall of Fame inductee from Georgia. She also probably doesn’t know that her scenes in Wayne’s World 2 made me feel all funny inside. Probably.

*****

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has a post-spring Top 25. Ty’s already excited.

• The Daily’s Dan Wolken takes down the APR system.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy weighs in on Big East expansion in the wake of the mammoth Pac-12 TV deal. Apparently, the Big East wants some pie.

• EA Sports’s NCAA 12 lets you screw around with conference and bowl alignment. And the Big East takes another early hit.

• Former Ohio State basketball player Mark Titus comments on the little he knows (or doesn’t) regarding Ohio State football players and their automobiles.

• Want coach’s cam angle game film from Auburn/Oregon, TCU/Wisconsin, and Stanford/Oregon? Follow this link, friend. (via EDSBS)

• Fox Sports South profiles Alabama RB Trent Richardson and even trots out pictures of Florida cheerleaders to bolster their content. Heroic.

• Football Study Hall slaps Purdue around with rock hard data. And sexy line graphs.

• Georgia alum and new College Football Hall of Fame inductee Jake Scott is a man.

• SI.com’s Bill Carey makes the case for ten possible early enrollee impact players.

• LSU coach Les Miles is/was a greased-up, sculpted man machine.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Bert sitting down with SNL’s Andy Samberg. Yes, that Bert.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhDIlSdpV-c

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s college town restaurant/bar recommendations takes us to Baton Rouge, LA courtesy of Verballer Ryan (find his work here).  As always feel free to add anything he may have missed by emailing us at SolidVerbal@gmail.com. These are his words:

*****

Ruffino’s – Makes Herbstreit’s list of best college town restaurant pretty much every year, and was No. 1 in 2010.

The Chimes – Best restaurant that’s right on campus. Fans of opposing teams flock to it every game. Great food, solid beer selection.  … Even an idiot like George W. Bush gave The Chimes some love in his commencement address at LSU in 2004.

Mike Anderson’s - Seafood and steak. Nice restaurant, relatively close to campus and owned by a former football player. Just look at the menu, for God’s sake.

TJ Ribs - Maybe 10 minutes from campus, probably the best BBQ in a so-so BBQ town, also home to Billy Cannon’s heisman trophy – it’s the South Acadian location, just fyi. (Dan edit: I’ve been here, great atmosphere, always packed, the ribs fall clean off the bone. Terrific.)

Roul’s Deli - The most underrated restaurant in BR. You’ll get major credit from LSU fans just by mentioning it. Hole in the wall place right next to Chimes that probably wouldn’t exist if health inspectors ever stepped inside, but they make the best hamburger in the city, and their shrimp burger is insane. Pretty much every review i’ve seen is like this one. ”I have yet to taste a better burger than this in Baton Rouge, so until some other restaurant comes around to dethrone Roul, this is our pick for best burger in Baton Rouge.”

Raising Cane’s – I don’t really count this since it’s fast food and there’s 10 million better options for visiting fans or people who don’t live here, but the original Raising Cane’s location is right next to Chimes and Roul’s. The owner created the concept as an assignment in business school and got the worst grade in his class; now they have more than 100 locations around the country. (Dan Edit: Also been here and it was great. I know it’s a chain, but this is an original location, so I’ll count it.)

*****

As always, send in anything you think we may have missed or send in places from your own college town to SolidVerbal@gmail.com

Today’s Chorus is brought to you once again by NC State alumnus Zach Galafianakis, star of Between Two Ferns and other things that may come out soon.

*****

• Ole Miss dismissed DE Delvin Jones and LB Clarence Jackson after they were arrested for public drunkenness. It was not the first trouble either had been in. I know, right?

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd proposes an idea to have Auburn-Alabama scrimmage in August to raise money for tornado relief. It’s such a good idea that it isn’t even his. Don’t worry, no credit was given.

• Illinois AD Ron Guenther announced his formal retirement. To be safe, Ron Zook better get a letter of rec sooner rather than later.

• ESPN College Gameday will begin the season at the Oregon-LSU game in Dallas. A victory for those that prefer their pre-game college football coverage in a sterile, safe setting. YES!

• Cal coach Jeff Tedford reminisced about the old days at Fresno State. I can’t wait until some ranked team cockily strides into Fresno and loses — I’m never going to stop with the, “You don’t come into the SJV talking that mess!” jokes. Never.

• Nebraska AD Tom Osborne backs Jim Tressel in the Ohio State coach’s ongoing struggle. Whenever a former coach who famously started a player right after that player threw a woman down a flight of stairs calls, YOU LISTEN.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has a tidy SEC spring wrap. He tries dutifully to say nice things about LSU QB Jordan Jefferson.

• Minnesota gets the Football Outsiders treatment. Summary: If they’re going to win, it’ll be because of the offense.

• Anchor of Gold has a Vanderbilt offensive preview. More on this later.

• Oregon‘s OL gets a boost with the return of C Hamani Stevens, who left the school to complete a Mormon mission. Of course, he hasn’t put on pads in two years, he’s not in Eugene or enrolled in the school, so let’s all temper our collective excitement for now.

• New Florida WR Ja’Juan Story likes to poop and listen to Katy Perry.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the preview for the NBC show, “The Playboy Club.” It’s all the sexiness of Playboy and the early 60s mixed with the horrible development and generally misguided sensibilities of NBC.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-dnE5NtJDs

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU alumnus and brief Social Network actress Rooney Mara, one of the more eligible ladies anyone will come across. And by that I mean STRAIGHT. CASH. HOMEY.

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd remains suspended from the team (pending unknown Chip/Brian Kellyian hurdles), but will be allowed to enroll in school this fall. About right.

• Rivals is now considered to be a “scouting service” under new NCAA bylaws, meaning coaches and programs can no longer subscribe to the “service.” And in a quieter story, Bill Plaschke is no longer considered to be “credible columnist,” so it’s a violation for any fan to read his work Noted.

• Purdue K Carson WIggs nailed a 67 yard FG in the spring game. All 738 attendees got quite a show.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks LSU’s patience in Jordan Jefferson is fleeting. In tough times, though, it’s always important to think of the innocent, affected interceptions. They didn’t do anything wrong.

• And the Valley Shook has thoughts on LSU’s spring game. They’re feeling something weird in their pants when they watch the Tiger DBs. Acceptable.

• ESPN’s David Ubben visits Stillwater and gets a lot of Weeden.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller dapperly speaks to Stanford coach David Shaw.

• Illinois is trying to find a few great linebackers. Ok, pretty good. Ok, decent. Ok, willing.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has Florida spring game notes. It’s even painful to read.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Iowa notes. Vandenberg ahoy!

• Georgia OT Trinton Sturdivant tore an ACL for the THIRD TIME. Awful.

• USC WR Markeith Ambles simply didn’t show up at Saturday practice. Check the roof!

• Tim Tebow has a statue in front of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. It’s going to be weird for everyone when his furry sex dungeon is exposed. Perhaps I’ve said too much. Rawr.

• Fox Sports Florida profiles probable starting Florida State DE Bjorn Werner, a large powerful German dude. Advantage Noles.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder goes old school and profiles Arkansas QB Tyler Wilson. This has “Excuse to go to some BBQ place in Arkansas” written all over it.

• Purdue changed up their mascot, Purdue Pete, almost entirely because they’re incredibly lame.

• Colorado QB Tyler Hansen had a solid spring game for Colorado. In Buffalo-ese, this is otherworldly.

• Rivals takes an early look at 2011 scheduling. DO NOT READ THIS, COACHES!

• Oklahoma WR Justin McCay self-reported an injury. The Sonner spring game line is now off the board.

• “UCLA football player” is the new Spinal Tap drummer.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an adjusted Miley Cyrus song with terrible lip reading (on purpose).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii5IUihNuno

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Harvard grad Paul Pfeiffer, the true star (along with his hamster, Wheezer) of The Wonder Years, now available on Netflix streaming. Boom.

*****

• Texas played their annual Orange and White game yesterday. I watched QB Garrett Gilbert throw a dumb pick, saw QB Case McCoy look decent, and then fell asleep. The Statesman and Burnt Orange Nation fill in the rest. ESPN has video.

Speaking of which, the new ESPN/Texas venture, The Longhorn Network, has a logo and a site. You won’t believe this, but they got Matthew McConaughey to record a short video promo. Presumably shirtless.

• Michigan and Notre Dame will be wearing throwback jerseys this year when they meet each other. I assume the uniform choice will be representative of better times for both programs. This could mean a decidedly 1996 look.

• Smart Football delves into the Dana Holgorsen madness. This time it’s West Virginia’s coach-in-waiting say it takes three days-ish to install a good offense. Ok then.

• The Big East held scrimmages this weekend. ESPN’s Brian Bennett has the “story.”

• Virginia held a spring game. ESPN’s Heather Dinich has a short breakdown of the game and an extensive one about the various wines and cheeses available outside.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno offers up some Penn State spring thoughts.

• LSU‘s QB depth stands thusly: Jefferson, Lee, Mettenberger.

• Fox Sports Arizona profiles ASU QB Brock Osweiler, a passer who has, so far, been best evaluated as “not as good as Steven Threet.” I’m quoting life.

• SI’s Jordan Conn profiles new Colorado coach Jon Embree. Apparently, Embree loves the process of building success and hates superfluous H’s.

• Rivals rates the five best assistant hires in each BCS conference. All the BUZZ is free!

• Central Arkansas sees your plain green turf or your trying-too-hard blue/red turf and raises you purple and gray stripes. Ca-ching.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is raw, dirty, public sax.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaoLU6zKaws

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Harvard alum Rivers Cuomo. I’ve never said this until now, but a pretty significant part of me wants to destroy his sweater. Whew, that felt right.

*****

• Pac-12 TV rights hit the open market today. Here’s a rundown of the favorites to land conference media rights. I’m positive by the time all is said and done, I’ll be watching Oregon games on Oprah‘s third regional network in standard definition.

• Noted shady person Willie Lyles allegedly asked Texas A&M $80,000 to deliver Patrick Peterson. Peterson and his father were outraged and denied any association with Lyles. And then a Rivals reporter confirmed THREE YEARS AGO that Peterson and his father went to Houston specifically to visit Lyles. Whoops indeed!

• Well then, Ohio State blog Eleven Warriors looks … different today.

• ESPN’s David Ubben made the trek to College Station and returns with Texas A&M practice notes. Because it’s his job, that’s why.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg does the same in Evanston for Northwestern, but uses bullet points. Ohyoufancyhuh?

• When Nebraska plays a team with a decent defense, their offense is going to be way better. Srsly, you guys.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at Cal’s offense and the news that coach Jeff Tedford is once again in control.

• It seems that New Mexico coach Mike Locksley can finally be terminated and not be paid a quadrillion dollars. Advanced economics!

• Colorado QB Tyler Hansen implies that there perhaps, maybe, kind of, sort of, probably was a touch of nepotism in former coach Dan Hawkins playing QB Cody Hawkins so much. Intriguing.

• Verbie-nominated Tweeter and Ole Miss DE Kentrell Lockett has been granted a sixth year of eligibility. #excitement

• Rivals previews Ohio State’s spring. Quiet quiet quiet.

• The Texas spring game will be on ESPN. The secrety secrets will be exposed!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is our ol’ pal at SI.com, Andy Staples, talkin’ jorts.

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community’s Yvette Nicole Brown, a proud Akron graduate who should be watching the Zips upset Notre Dame today. You laughed yesterday at my Morehead State reference and look what happened. Don’t doubt me! Or the Zips!

*****

• The NCAA upheld the suspensions of five Ohio State players for selling memorabilia, and then Buckeye coach Jim Tressel self-extended his own suspension to five gamesfor not disclosing knowledge. Who would’ve thunk it would’ve all happened during day one of the NCAA Tournament? Amazing!

Oh and the NCAA hasn’t ruled on Tressel yet so it’s all just PR at this point. Still amazing!

SI’s Andy Staples writes about this using more words than I’m willing to give you for free.

• FINALLY, somebody writes something about Florida’s spring.

• NBC Miami is reporting that up to six Miami players will be suspended for their home opener against Maryland. This story seems to agree with the earlier OT Seantrel Henderson rumor.

• GQ says LSU fans are the tenth worst in all of sports. The picture they chose to illustrate this, well, doesn’t.

• ESPN’s David Ubben bullet points what he saw in Columbia during Missouri’s spring practice. The word “Gabbert” is tossed around quite a bit, whatever that means.

• EDSBS has a condiment bracket. This has nothing to do with college football and everything to do with condiments. Oh and it’s mostly incorrect.

• An Auburn blog is outraged with an off-air Paul Finebaum speech in which he (hark!) seems very much pro-Alabama.

• Rivals Primers: Florida State and Arizona. All Some Stoopseseses must go!!

• Hey Nebraska players, don’t get fat. Thanks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is movie titles said aloud in movies. Jumanji!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V1sYNvKZt8

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by political advisor and LSU alum James Carville, who must be just as excited about his school’s association with Will Lyles as I am. Also, Bill Hader does a good job aping Carville while wearing a bald wig, yelling Cajun gibberish, and shoulder-laughing.

*****

• The State of Indiana’s occupational safety agency found Notre Dame liable for six separate violations related to the death of a student videographer on a hydraulic lift.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd catches up with new Florida OC Charlie Weis about his Gator experience thus far.

• Speaking of which, new positions were announced for last year’s hybrid Florida QBs Jordan Reed (TE) and Trey Burton (F-Back?).

• The Big 12 and Fox are speaking seriously. And the Pac-12 is sprinting the other way. Congrats, Big 12!

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich thinks you college football playoff people are big ol’ meanie dumb-dumbs.

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel issued a non-apology to fans at an Ohio State banquet. Integrity!

• LSU paid dubious recruiting person Will Lyles $6,000 for recruiting services. It was completely legal, but could be illegal at some point. Or something.

• SI’s Bill Trocchi asks and answers Big East questions.

• Rivals previews South Carolina and Pitt. I’m concerned “buzz” may be a little too strong a word in any Pitt preview.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Bill Hader talking about things. Always good enough for me.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Georgia alum Kyle Chandler. He was Coach Taylor on Friday Night Lights and stars in JJ Abrams’s “Super 8.” Clear eyes, etc.

*****

—> JOIN THE SOLID VERBAL NCAA POOL <—

• Four Auburn football players were arrested and charged with robbery. Excuse me, four FORMER Auburn players were arrested and charged with robbery. Fulmer Cup implications are here.

• It just would be the offseason without the annual Michigan State arrests — this time, though, the Spartan players tried something new and were arrested for assault and eluding police IN ASPEN. Gentlemen Spartans!

• Georgia coach Mark Richt is used to his seat being warmed by loving Georgia fans.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller examines Colorado’s depth. Sadly, he hasn’t been the same since.

• LSU is looking for an “offense,” whatever that is.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans looks at the different persons of interest and trends regarding recruiting services in a four part series. You can either read it yourself or have a stripper read an audio version to you.

• Barry Switzer is surprised you’d even call what Jim Tressel did “cheating.”

• SI.com’s Andy Staples asks SEC questions. The more I watch the accompanying videos, the more I think “Stew n’ Andy” should be a sitcom after “Meet the Browns” on TBS. <– Meant as a compliment.

• According to the Columbus Dispatch and Bob Hunter‘s giant byline picture, ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit moved to Nashville to get away from a small percentage of Ohio State fans we’ll call “The Crazies.”

• Is Miami OT Seantrel Henderson suspended for Miami’s opener at Maryland? Yes? No? Possibly? Anyone?

• UNC CB Charles Brown, who missed the 2010 season due to the school’s mass agent-connected suspensions, will sit out the Heels’ opener before becoming eligible to play.

• The NCAA sees Yahoo!!!!! reports as “supernaturally good at uncovering NCAA violations.” I think this means Charles Robinson has heat vision, though my reading comprehension is pretty low.

• Arkansas should probably be quite good this year. Rivals has the deets. That may be the hippest sentence I’ll ever write.

• Is Connor Wood outperforming the other Texas QBs during spring practice? The view from the  blimp that the Statesman’s Kirk Bohls rented indicates “possibly.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Zach Galifianakis preparing for his Mr. T sketch on SNL.

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Boston College alum Amy Poehler. She’ll probably never come down from the high associated with this specific achievement.

*****

• The lawyer who tipped off Ohio State coach Jim Tressel to the activities and associations of five of his players has been identified. He seems, well, interesting.

• Florida practices are closed to everyone. Intrigue! Or just inconvenience and undeserved self-importance after a bad year.

• Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson can get sassy.

• Boise State hosted the Oklahoma coaching staff. “Hey remember when we came back with the hook and… yeah.”

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Charles Robinson isn’t done breaking hearts.

• ESPN’s Chris Low gets all sorts of detailed about Georgia’s spring.

• Oregon State could look relatively different (see: possibly no Rodgerseseses) this fall.

• Easy classes for Stanford athletes will be harder to find after a “courses of interest” list has been discontinued. Poor, poor Stanford kids.

• Things on offense may get a bit “simpler” at Nebraska.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel got off easy when he received his Big 12 preview assignment and saw that he only had to look at ten questions.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday issues a first glance at Nevada going forward. And then a second, third, and fourth. He’s thorough.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart examines LSU. SPOILER: Everything looks pretty good except for the most important position.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall advises the NCAA on how to govern social media. Sex, drugs, and Satan are all in there.

• SB Nation has a new stat-minded football blog. Huzzah!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a 1982 Advertiser Promotion Tape from MTV. Radical.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlQntJI8UPE

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about Lane Kiffin, quarterbacks in the SEC, the bear population in Mississippi, and tattoos.  Plus, what the F is the Internet?

Today’s Chorus is brought to you, once again, by Natalie Portman. I’m told she’ll pregnantly win an Oscar on Sunday. I can’t imagine that there’s any other reason to watch in earnest.

*****

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel fires a shot across the bow at Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton, the man responsible for hiring coaches accusing of violating NCAA rules in both of the school’s major revenue sports.

• If Stanford QB Andrew Luck gets dinged up this fall, he’s still getting PAID.

• Atlanta DE prospect Lorenzo Mauldin accepted an offer to play for South Carolina. And then the day before Signing Day, the school told him, “Not so much.” SEC Football!!!!!

• Texas coach Mack Brown closed spring practice to observers. Prediction: QB Garrett Gilbert will somehow still throw it to the wrong color jersey at some point.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer kicked it with new Miami coach Al Golden. God, my descriptions are so hip.

• USC hired a new WR coach. His name is Ted Gilmore and here to say … he hopes QB Matt Barkley stops staring down his new receivers so much.

• New Texas OC Bryan Harsin had an offer for more years and more money from Les Miles to perform the same job at LSU. Unfortunately, it required coaching at LSU.

• ASU QB Steven Threet is stepping away from football due to suffering multiple concussions. Smart dude.

• California Golden Blogs created a formula called QB Score as a new way of measuring passing efficiency, which concentrates on generating yards against not generating turnovers. I don’t fully understand it, but Cal QB Brock Mansion is well into the negatives, so it feels right.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples reveals his all two-star team. I assume a jar of BBQ sauce or a rib bib gets shipped to each member in their goody bag.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson previews the springs for some notable non-AQ teams.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett does the same for Notre Dame.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Baylor’s “Mr Indispensible,” QB Robert Griffin.

• Wonderful Terrific Monds II is officially a Buffalo Bull. Awesome?

• The Wiz has the complete list of NFL Combine odds. Of course he does.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an exploration into the habitat of the Wyoming offensive lineman.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=haBv3g15mGU

Enjoy your Friday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brooklyn Decker, whose husband is a Nebraska fan. The B1G Ten just got an attractiveness boost!

*****

• The NCAA Rules Committee is recommending new rules. You know now that I think about it, I was having a little too much time watching college football.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall helps Jadeveon Clowney pick a school. All class, all the time, that Hall.

• SmartFootball’s Chris Brown looks at red-zone options for pass first, airraid offenses. Smart.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller gets a Colorado primer from ESPN’s David Ubben. Writing “Colorado primer” makes me think it’s either a crazy sexual act or the best sandwich nobody’s heard of.

• ESPN’s Ubben also speaks with Big 12 (10) commissioner Dan Beebe. He never mentions Ty’s sound effect. Weak.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples writes that high school football 7on7 camps and tournaments are inching closer and closer to basketball’s AAU system. But with pink socks.

• SportsbyBrooks reviews Alabama LB/asst head coach Sal Sunseri‘s recruiting techniques.

KTBS (Shreveport) reporter Rick Rowe produced a four-part special on the recruitment of DE prospect Jermauria Rasco (featuring Sunseri).

• Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt definitely doesn’t oversign recruiting classes. Oh wait, I wrote that sentence incorrectly. Can YOU figure out where?

• Unless he gets PAID to play baseball, Nebraska QB signee Bubba Starling plans to play football. Sounds about right.

• A caller to Paul Finebaum‘s radio show was having a heart attack while he called. Probably over Kenneth Cole’s spring line.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nine year old from Tanzania recapping “Commando.” Only way it should be.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLix4QPL3tY

Enjoy your Friday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community star, The Soup host, and Washington alumnus Joel McHale, who certainly must hope a redshirt year served some good with Nick Montana.

*****

• Urban Meyer is joining ESPN. I’m on board — smart people being given microphones is generally a good thing. SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) and Spencer Hall discuss.

• With Signing Day tomorrow, Rivals.com sat their writers around a proverbial roundtable to discuss various topics. Today’s thoughts on the Egyption uprising were particularly provocative.

• Rivals also looks at which incoming redshirt freshmen could make the biggest impact in 2011. If Washington QB Nick Montana is even half the QB Jake Locker was, well, they’ll be in serious trouble.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks Jadeveon Clowney is going to be very good for an SEC school. Such courage.

• Florida president Bernie Machen wrote a mini-column for SI.com about oversigning. He’s against it.

• Purdue is now banned from recruiting at a Tampa, FL high school after pulling a scholarship offer to WR A.J. King, who requires knee surgery.

• Four years ago, ESPN named their 150 top high school prospects. See how they fared in college. Or not. It’s up to you, really.

• Scout.com has a “Road to Signing Day” blog where you can follow all of your favorite recruiting stories. And some you just can’t stand.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at Texas coach Mack Brown and 2011 Texas Longhorn recruiting success. If conventional recruiting wisdom is correct, though, Texas will be hit hard in 2012, the recruiting cycle that began during the 2010 season. But probably not.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at the best recruiting classes of the decade. A one-armed Glenn Dorsey still gives me goosebumps.

• Rutgers QB Tom Savage will now be allowed to transfer within the state of Florida. I have a feeling we’ll soon be hearing Savage’s name in the same sentence as “national championship” soon — as in “Miami couldn’t have possibly won this national championship if they signed Rutgers castoff Tom Savage.”

• And finally, no more scooters for Maryland.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for a documentary about Lemmy from Motorhead, entitled, “Lemmy.” I’m particularly excited for Triple H’s insight.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-_Ol3XT6F0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Pawnee, Indiana’s Ron Swanson. Back tonight! Which reminds me, I need breakfast.

*****

• Michigan QB Tate Forcier announced his transfer via Twitter, 140 characters at a time. And the release still isn’t nearly as entertaining as his brother’s transfer from UCLA. FACT.

• Wisconsin may lose their offensive coordinator Paul Chryst to Jim Harbaugh and the 49ers. This is now slow inching towards giant white offensive lineman porn.

• This year’s TCU-Boise State game may get moved from Fort Worth to Boise. Just because screw you TCU, that’s why.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart confirmed that former Louisville coach Steve Kragthorpe will take over as LSU’s offensive coordinator.

• A Mississippi State cheerleader appeared in Playboy and has now spoken about it with SB Nation. It’s all very exciting.

• QB Zach Mettenberger went to Georgia. Then he transferred. Now he’s going to LSU. And he looks like this.

• It’s the offseason, a perfect time for a refresher on EDSBS‘s Fulmer Cup rules and regulations.

• Texas Tech needed to drop one non-conference game to make room for a ninth Big 12 game, and, I hope you’re sitting down for this, they dropped a road game at TCU.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel spoke with Mike Leach and explains why Leach’s baggage (as long as it exists) will stand in the way of future employment.

• The Oregon cheerleaders shot a calendar. The Wiz has video.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Aziz Ansari’s version of the Parks and Recreation intro. I like this show.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by January Jones and the Golden Globes. And her appearance at some awards show last night.

*****

• LSU coach Les Miles turned downed Michigan for the second time and leveraged the interest to no raise and a smaller buyout. I stopped trying to understand all things LSU a long time ago.

• Former Iowa RB Adam Robinson apologized for his marijuana possession charges and wants back on the team. If all works out, I have the PERFECT house for him to rent.

• TCU OC Justin Puente is going to interview to fill the same position at LSU.

• … and so will former Louisville and Tulsa coach Steve Kragthorpe.

• Florida hired former 49er great Bryant Young to be a co-defensive line coach. He has almost no coaching experience, which almost always means coach Will Muschamp thinks he can recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit.

• Houston QB Case Keenum was granted a 13th year of eligibility.

• Tulsa named assistant Bill Blankenship their new head coach. Ok then.

• Tennessee RB David Oku is transferring. Ugh, an overrated 5-star RB leaving Tennessee after underachieving is sooooooooo 2010.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall laments Auburn’s post-Newton situation and ends up talking about chest hair.

• Georgia DE/OLB Justin Houston is skipping his senior year to play in the NFL. This comes after a number of Georgia players skipped various years in 2010.

• Is it too early to look at mock drafts? Probably, but here’s one from The Football Expert (aka the site of East Bay Greg, aka The Crown Prince of Backhanded Compliments).

• Auburn fans took pictures at Wal-Mart with stacks and stacks of Dr. Pepper cases. Oh, and what is probably a replica of the BCS national championship trophy. This makes me feel a little better, actually.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Ricky Gervais’s monologue from last night’s Golden Globes. It was so good, he’s already been asked not to return next year.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvHXzP2SpLA

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Cecil Newton, a beacon of entrepreneurial spirit. I don’t like to use the word “hero” often, so I won’t here.

*****

• An array of hyper-talented players are hanging around college to (most likely) avoid NFL collective bargaining issues. Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd and Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon were yesterday’s surprises. Today’s? LSU QB Jordan Jefferson! Dun dun DUNNNNN!!!!

• Brady Hoke was introduced as Michigan’s new coach, after following what appears to be the best path to getting a great job — slave away as an assistant, then make a traditionally horrible team decent. Or be Monte Kiffin’s son.

QB Denard Robinson is undecided about how pumped he may or may not be.

MGoBlog’s Brian Cook has some thoughts.

• Tulsa’s Todd Graham is the new Pitt coach. And before you get excited about a big fancy Tulsa offense coming to Pitt, he’s a defensive guy who hired good offensive minds at a Conference USA school. So there’s that.

• UCLA has apparently parted ways with OC Norm Chow, who will apparently end up at Utah. The Bruins, meanwhile, are rumored to be hiring now former 49ers OC Michael Johnson. It’s at any point now that Rick Neuheisel will harmlessly take out an insurance policy against a 2-10 UCLA season.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rate the best/worst of this year’s bowl performances. Surprise! Nebraska appears in multiple “worst” entries.

• Miami is hiring Seattle Seahawks QB coach Jedd Fisch to be their offensive coordinator. If anybody has a strong opinion regarding this, they’re probably lying.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has an early 2011 top 25. It just doesn’t feel like mid-January without unwarranted Oklahoma inflation, does it?

• Nike is running an Oregon Ducks ad in local papers today. It’s neon-y.

• LSU OC Gary Crowton looks to be headed to Maryland. BREAKING: Maryland will hate their offense in 2012 after a year of false hope.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel responds to reader mail for the last time (this season).

• The Wiz has the salaries of bowl CEOs. You know, the guys that put on these games for the student-athletes and the fans and heroically take the leftover hundreds of thousands of dollars.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nice little compilation of product placement in movies. This item is brought to you by Dr. Pepper. Too obvious?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wACBAu9coUU

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Orange Bowl color analyst Jon Gruden. THIS GUY was a backup QB for Dayton in the early 80s.

*****

• Stanford shellacked Virginia Tech last night in the Orange Bowl. QB Andrew Luck was accurate, the line opened up gigantic running lanes, and coach Jim Harbaugh ducked questions about his future and asked that reporters please RESPECT THE PROCESS.

The Detroit Free Press is reporting Harbaugh’s future will come down to Stanford and the NFL — no Michigan plans.

And Michigan should be deciding on coach Rich Rodriguez’s fate shortly. Dun dun DUNNNNN.

In pro-Virginia Tech news, QB Tyrod Taylor did this.

• The Sugar Bowl is tonight. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has keys for Ohio State and ESPN’s Chris Low has keys for Arkansas. The rest of their coverage can be found here.

• Iowa RB Adam Robinson has been dismissed by Iowa. This comes after (wait for it…) he was arrested on marijuana possession charges. Who knows what kind of societal dangers he could’ve presented on MARIJUANA!!*

*Of course I have no idea if this is specifically why he was kicked off the team, he could also have been an awful human to everybody around him.

• LSU RB Stevan Ridley has been academically cleared to play in Friday’s Cotton Bowl. LSU‘s offense is expected to remain free of any direction or identity.

• MIssouri QB Blaine Gabbert declared for the NFL Draft. Makes sense. Indiana’s Tandon Doss, also declared. Less sense.

• The Big 10 was swept on Saturday. This video probably doesn’t make it any easier, midwesterners.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin is boring and “unemotional.” And?

• If you believe outstanding MS Paint comics, Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops may have sent his rival’s best coach to Florida.

• Former BYU OC Robert Anae will now run the offense for Mike Stoops at Arizona. I assume loudly.

• Pitt has to hire a coach. And, uh, soon.

• UCLA LB Akeem Ayers has declared for the NFL Draft. He’s the one that somehow did this.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart looks at how Oregon and Auburn may react to not playing for five weeks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features Top Gear launching a Mini Cooper over a ski jump. Of course it is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEebpG6P0SY

Enjoy your Tuesday + Sugar Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kelly Kapowski. Why? Because Chip Kelly is your AP Coach of the Year and his name has Kelly in it. Shouldn’t even have to explain these anymore.

*****

• Louisville edged Southern Miss in last night’s Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl. See? Dance-brawls DO matter!

• The Cardinals may have been able to ultimately stop Southern Miss, but they didn’t stop this ridiculous catch by QB Austin Davis. Yes, QB.

The band was unimpressed.

• Utah WR Devonte Christopher flipped the script and called Boise State “Girlse State.” I see what you did there!

• Let’s be serious — here’s what to look for and here are some keys for tonight’s Las Vegas Bowl matchup of Girlse State and Utah. Comedy after all!!

• LSU RB Stevan Ridley was ruled academically ineligible to play in the Cotton Bowl. Advanced Biomedical Engineering is a BITCH.

• Tennessee coach Derek Dooley is still getting a handle on Facebook. Accidentally poking every SEC coach is no way to make friends.

• Puppets sing/rap about Notre Dame. Slow news day? Why do you ask? (via edsbs)

• Assistant coaches who perform well are making good money. Also, assistant coaches at Texas are making good money.

• Oregon’s Chip Kelly is the AP Coach of the Year. Clearly emotionally overwhelmed, Kelly issued a touching statement of, “So?”

• Nobody really wants to travel to mediocre bowl games (redundant, I know).

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno turned 84 yesterday. What? WHAT? WHATTTTT?????

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a song from The Lonely Island and Akon. They say “penis” a lot and Blake Lively is there. Woo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

Enjoy your Wednesday + Las Vegas Bowl.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mila Kunis. The Hawaii bowl is this week, so this picture seems appropriate. It appears that she briefly attended UCLA, but she’s mainly here because, well, she’s Mila Kunis.

*****

• At this point isn’t it more of story when the teams going to the Las Vegas Bowl don’t brawl?

• Notre Dame QB Dayne Crist “isn’t going anywhere.” Of course not, he has the knees of an 86 year old.

• BYU coach Bronco Mendenhall wasn’t thrilled with the BYU offense this season, and thus, the offensive coaching staff will soon become the former offensive coaching staff.

• Want to sound moderately informed when somebody asks you about tonight’s Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersberg Bowl? Really? That’s kind of a weird thing to pride yourself on, but if so, read what ESPN’s Brian Bennett and Andrea Adelson have to say.

• Alabama coach Nick Saban is telling his best juniors to think twice about the NFL Draft. There he goes again, that Saban, looking out for the best interest of others without a single speck of selfishness to be found.

• ESPN’s Pat Forde lays out his bowl picks, making it quite simple to win a lot of money by going against his blind stabs supported with limited useful reason.

• Yahoo!!!!!! lists their top 10 college football stories of the year. Les Miles‘s name doesn’t appear once, proving that this list is completely fraudulent.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Conan spending time with Hunter S. Thompson on Conan’s old show. It’s as good as you think it is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNEImAIM4L4

Enjoy your Tuesday Beef ‘O’ Brady’s.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Legends of the Hidden Temple, a show that obviously foretold Big Ten happenings years into the future. Spooky.

*****

—Join The Solid Verbal Bowl Pick ‘Em Here—

• LSU discovered some LSU violations and have punished themselves. Raise your hand if you thought nonsensical offensive playcalling was an actual violation. Who knew?

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson tells you all you need to know about this weekend’s bowl action — New Mexico, New Orleans, and the uSomething Humanitarian.

• There may be upwards of … wait for it … thousands of people attending the New Mexico Bowl.

• The Big Ten may be willing to take back that whole “Legends” and “Leaders” thing. And I suppose we’re all just supposed to pretend that this magical week never happened, right? Psh.

• Former Tennessee freshman All-American OT Aaron Douglas will play at Alabama in 2011. And just like that, Alabama FINALLY catches a break on the recruiting trail.

• West Virginia AD Oliver Luck likes head coach Bill Stewart but he doesn’t like like him.

• Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand, who was paralyzed in an October game, now has some feeling in his hands. This is outstanding.

• SB Nation kindly asks that you sidle up to the Week 1 Bowl Buffet.

• BCS Director Bill Hancock doesn’t see Mark Cuban ending the BCS. SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks Cuban is on the right track.

•••••

Today’s Video of the Day honors tomorrow’s New Mexico Bowl by celebrating the legacy of college football coverage in the “Land of Enchantment” by honoring Rob Stone’s classic descent into pepper hell.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvK2Y1hv9mY

Enjoy your Friday + Bowl Weekend.

Ty and Dan review a handful of conference championship games and dissect a bunch of projected bowl pairings.

Ty and Dan take a look at the NCAA’s ruling on Cam Newton, TCU’s move to the Big East, E. Gordon Gee’s stupid comments, and the Miami coaching vacancy.  Plus, Verballer voice messages, e-mails and locks of the week.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Anne Hathaway. She’s in a new movie (allegedly nekkid) that got bad reviews, is apparently hosting an awards show that nobody watches anymore (Because she’s funny! Really!), and received a completely fraudulent Vassar education (another school without a football program). Still, she seems attractive.

*****

• The NCAA, if you can believe it, swiftly declared Cam Newton eligible shortly after Auburn declared him ineligible (pending an NCAA decision). In a statement, the NCAA said, “Screw it, he can play!!”

SI.com’s Andy Staples explains how the Cam Newton case has thrown the spotlight on a giant eligibility loophole. Middle men (and women) rejoice!!

Fanhouse’s Clay Travis spoke with SEC commissioner Mike Slive.

Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel chatted with longtime college basketball, uh, power person Sonny Vaccaro about Cam Newton. Vaccaro: “That’s the most amazing thing I’ve heard in over four decades of being around college and high school sports.”

SportsbyBrooks, as always, does a great job of analyzing the revelations.

• In more important news, Utah is going to the MAACO Las Vegas Bowl. The bowl is also apparently shooting for Boise State. A round of cheap car paint for everyone!!

• Colorado interviewed Alabama OC Jim McElwain for its open head coaching job. It may just be enough that he can lead a team to a 24-7 lead.

• BYU‘s going bowling in New Mexico. And they’re happy to do it. Polite arguments over red and green chiles loom.

• Just to be clear, Mike Leach would be perfectly happy accepting the Minnesota job.

• Nike founder Phil Knight is quite pleased with the Oregon football team. Dun dun DUNNNNNNNN!!

• Admissions of jackassery are always welcome here. Today’s edition: Ohio State president Elwood Gordon Gee.

• LSU coach Les Miles isn’t saying much about OC Gary Crowton’s status for next season. Tough when your mouth is full of fresh mower trimmings.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers demand you watch for certain things and predict some outcomes. If you read these items closely, look for one link on one of these pages that links to the filthiest pornography you’ll ever see.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart looks at whether title games are good, bad, or ugly. You see what I did there? Boosh.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the story of Moe Norman, the greatest golfer I’ve never heard of, as told by a Scottish bartender.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu6FvJy7deM

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Top Chef host (new season starts tonight) and Clark University alumnus Padma Lakshmi. Clark doesn’t have a football program, but damnit, just look at her.

*****

• Jon Gruden will apparently meet with Miami AD Kirby Hocutt today. I’m still not sure this happens and isn’t just a leverage ploy for an NFL job, but hey, I’m only ALWAYS right*.

*Except when I’m wrong.

• Donald Trump sent Miami president Donna Shalala another note recommending Mike Leach. Also, Mike Leach is recommending Mike Leach.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff isn’t sure if he’ll be back next season. It’s hard to tell — you know, because of the continued losing — but WSU has actually gotten better and could come close to a bowl next year. This makes me think that thse school is ready to scrap the whole thing and start over.

• Texas A&M has accepted a bid to play in the Cotton Bowl, where, presumably, they’d play Alabama or LSU and Colby Caillet will awkwardly serenade Mike Sherman. To honor the Aggies’ improved 2010 bowl bid, I’m wearing a regular ol’ t-shirt.

• More on USC student-agent Teague Egan (real name!) from The Wiz. Try making it through this without throwing up a little in your mouth. You don’t win a prize, but you do get the satisfaction of knowing a little bit of your soul has been chipped away.

• Nevada lost some dollars by beating Boise State.

• Clemson QB Kyle Parker will play in the Tigers’ bowl game. Not sure what Clemson did to deserve this, but take the information as you will.

• Florida‘s had a bad year. In all of it is proudly edited together here.

• Air Force coach Troy Calhoun isn’t interested in the Colorado job. And if Colorado hires former coach Bill McCartney, it will appear as if the school isn’t interested either.

• Florida State improved because it’s big dudes are good. OL Rodney Hudson is one of those big dudes.

• Illinois QB Nathan Scheelhaase is a redshirt freshman and isn’t completely horrible.

• The All-Mountain West teams are out and they’re … pretty much what you’d expect.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin says QB Matt Barkley will play against UCLA and points out that anonymous Pac-10 coaches are rooting for him against UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel.

• SB Nation’s Jon Bois takes to hating and appreciating kickers.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has bowl projections. I totally called Texas A&M to the Cotton Bowl a few items up!

• If Auburn doesn’t make QB Cam Newton available to the media ahead of the Saturday’s SEC championship, they’ll be fined. So weird to think about Auburn having to pay for Cam Newton. Hm.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features people getting hurt and humiliated in amusing fashion.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDg7CiHAPqg

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan break down a wild weekend that saw a monster upset by Nevada, a triumphant victory for Auburn, and a defining loss for Rich Rodriguez against Ohio State.  Plus, wackiness in the Big 12, closure in the ACC, and a host of listener Reverbs.

Ty and Dan deliver a super-sized episode, chock full of analysis for all the week’s biggest rivalries, listener e-mails and voice messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Billings, MT Mayor Tom Hanel. I needlessly insulted his fine town (below) and am thus making it up to him and his town here. Tom is the one with the mustache.

*****

• Ohio State president E. Gordon Gee doesn’t like Boise State or TCU and doesn’t think there should ever be a system to put them on equal footing, mostly because he thinks their schedules are undeserving. And as SI.com’s Andy Staples notes, Ohio State should be congratulated on their 59th ranked schedule, a whopping NINE spots ahead of Boise’s 68th.

• Former Ohio State LB Chris Spielman is shocked at how bad Michigan’s defense truly is, but likes QB Denard Robinson a lot. I think the combination of these two thoughts works out to a compliment.

• Colorado apparently thinks LSU Coach Les Miles is worth pursuing. Kind of sad when the fake long-shot rumor you’re floating to make yourself sound important involves Les Miles. I take that back — there’s nothing “kind of” about it.

• Nebraska DC Carl Pelini is sorry now, too.

• Who argues and makes a bigger spectacle of himself — Bob or Mike Stoops? The Wall Street Journal took the time to find out. It’s pretty close, but Mike’s facial-redness factor has really taken him to new heights.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell us what to watch and make some predictions. Here’s a guarantee: I predict there will be massive intestinally-driven DVR pausing across the country on Friday. Take that as you will.

• Here is this week’s regional ESPN/ABC map, so you can see what games are where. Residents of Billings, Montana — screwed again. The first time of course was simply having to be in BIllings, Montana. Actually, I take that back, it’s probably awesome in Montana. Now I feel bad. Here’s looking at you, Billings!

• GOOD NEWS: Eric LeGrand, the paralyzed Rutgers player, is breathing on his own and is not as paralyzed as he previously had been. Great things.

This news is essentially the opposite of any headline involving E. Gordon Gee.

• Clemson RB Andre Ellington is a game-time decision against South Carolina.

• Former Oregon coach and current ESPN broadcaster Mike Bellotti talks punt-blocking. PASSION!

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno will be back next year. Hey, Lavar Arrington isn’t going to coach himself.

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray says he’s pain-free (knee, sternum) and will be good to go against Georgia Tech Saturday night. The game plan remains unchanged — throw it up to #8.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart interviews TCU coach Gary Patterson. Patterson gives his Fort Worth food and bar recommendations. Ok, he doesn’t, but we need them, Verballers. Where you at?

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley plays in a completely fair and just way. Just ask his teammates.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter, fresh off his 4th strike suspension, should be reinstated for the Notre Dame game. Whew.

• USC QB Matt Barkley hasn’t been practicing, but hopes to play against Notre Dame. He’s already started locking onto his receivers a few days ahead of kickoff, so things seem promising.

• The New York Times is all up in Cecil Newton’s church business grill.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is SNL’s Jay Pharoah (not Natalie Portman) on Letterman. I think I’ve already posted a video of him, but good impressions are really hard to do and he’s going STRONG with Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, and President Obama.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQ4CoxiGrY

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan talk about LSU’s close call, Nebraska’s dud, a potential Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl, and the ongoing Dillon Baxter Experiment at USC.

Ty & Dan discuss the latest in the Cam Newton pay-for-play situation and the need to renovate Husky Stadium, and break down all the Week 12 action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Idaho governor Butch Otter, who, and it wouldn’t surprise you given the antics of the two most notable football teams in his state, ascended to his current position by simply targeting his opponents and then leading with his helmet. Politics as usual.

*****

Ty wrote his “Thursday Proverbs” column. Read it here and read it NOW. Or, depending on the speed of your Internet connection, a few seconds from now.

• Fox Sports acquired the rights to the first six Big Ten title games. It sounds like win-win — the game and league get the exposure of network TV and viewers get The Best Damn Title Game, complete with a broadcast duo (typically) unfamiliar with calling a college game, and some sort of dancing cartoon representative. We Are. Fox Sports!

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd writes about Cam Newton and the Heisman. Because there’s nothing else to talk about in college football. To be fair, though, it’s both preachy and stale.

• Somebody named “blueTunaTiger” writes thousands of unsupported, unverified words on an LSU message board theorizing on a possible Cam Newton conspiracy theory. As soon as CBS Sports updates the Week 6 fantasy numbers, I’d be fine with them running this.

• Colorado and former Colorado coach Bill McCartney have made contact with each other. Aw, how cute.

• Oregon DB Cliff Harris chose the Ducks because they wear green, and “money be green.” That’s some unassailable logic — I got nothing.

• According to a Cal blogger, Stanford QB Andrew Luck is excellent at college football. I’m actually a bit surprised the writer went through with the blog post and didn’t fake a finger cramp to get out of it.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers tell you and me what to watch this weekend. All reasonable requests until SEC blogger Chris Low vouched for a “Teen Mom” marathon.

And like every other week, they also make predictions.

• For those of you reading this in the 70+ demo, ESPN’s Ivan Maisel remembers a simpler time for Army-Notre Dame at Yankee Stadium. So smoke your Lucky Strikes, fire up your Glenn Miller album, and read it on your magic, futuristic computer doohickeys.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag. If I had recited that sentence out loud and you couldn’t read the word “mail,” it could’ve meant something quite different. And it would’ve been a medical breakthrough.

• A booster and failed banker oversees Auburn’s athletic budget. Good to know.

• Idaho S Shiloh (Shiloh!) Keo tried to decapitate back-up Boise State QB Mike Coughlin and has been suspended for the first half of the Vandals’ game against Utah State.

• A potential NFL lockout will influence Georgia WR A.J. Green‘s early entry decision. “Me too,” Florida QB John Brantley added. “Me too.”

But sadly, there is no joy in Gainesville, mighty Addazio has struck out.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Cowboys vs Aliens.” You might not even need to watch the trailer to get the gist of it, but since it appears that a lot of money and big names were poured into this, it’s probably worth your two and a half minutes.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKzfMGHdrHE

Enjoy your Thursday.

Ty and Dan analyze the latest on the Cam Newton situation in light of recent comments by purported associate Kenny Rogers.  Plus, e-mails, voice messages and Week 11 picks.

Ty and Dan talk with Jerry Palm from CollegeBCS.com and CBSSports.com about the latest round of BCS rankings, the chances of a non-AQ school making the title game, and the possibility of a one-loss team sneaking its way into the big game.  Plus, more Cam Newton news!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Robert Redford, former Colorado student and bartender at The Sink in Boulder. He’s also ready for new football leadership for the Buffs and I just made that up.

*****

• Florida coach Urban Meyer Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is reporting that Auburn QB Cam Newton had “three different instances of academic cheating” during his time at Florida. I put quotes around Evans’s words, because I didn’t write them. That would be cheating. Ahem.

It’s ok, though, Auburn fans have Newton’s back. And Mark Schlabach‘s front. And Pedro Gomez‘s brief torso. They’re angry.

• After officially being told of the school’s coaching change, Colorado coach Dan Hawkins is now private citizen Dan Hawkins. Though the story is in Boulder, Kansas is THE current team that’s so mind-blowingly bad that a coach can be fired for losing to you. Rock Chalk, indeed.

Oh, and Dan Hawkins was all like “Peace out, MF’ers!”

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez is expected to start against Kansas this weekend. His ankle is improved and he should have a very productive quarter.

Also, Nebraska‘s using the same sandwich board technique Oregon and Oklahoma State use to send in plays.

• Cincinnati QB Zach Collaros is also expected to start at West Virginia. Good news for Bearcats fans, bad news for Big East Chas/Chazz-out fans.

• Wisconsin RB John Clay is questionable against Indiana due to a knee injury. Damn, looks like some other big dude will have to carry the ball 27 times for 141 yards. Gosh.

• Texas coach Mack Brown is not ready to give up on QB Garrett Gilbert. Cute.

• EDSBS has this week’s “Best in Class.” Just once I’d like this to be about Donald Trump ranking college football stories in terms of classiness. “Colorado blowing that lead? That’s definitely not claaaaaaaaaaaassssy.”

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers rewind and fast forward, and then accidentally DVR a rerun of The Gilmore Girls, watch anyway, and come to realize it’s not that bad at all.

• Washington AD Scott Woodward “clarifies” his “remarks” about Oregon and issues a non-apology. Seems like he did a lot of soul-searching and a fair amount of pants-pooping before deciding to come forward with an “I’m sorry you were offended”-type statement.

• I enjoy first-time LSU visitor stories. SB Nation’s Andrew Sharp did a much better job with his than I did with mine.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney with this week’s Heisman Watch. What do you guys think of him having LSU’s Drake Nevis at #1? Just kidding it’s the standard QB/RB/WR, the only players that REALLY matter.

• SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) lurves him some Texas in the newest “This Week in Schadenfraude.” It features crying and swearing, etc. Good times.

• Noted Mexican cuisine expert Rick Bayless offers up his recipe for bacon guacamole. This has nothing to do with college football, but this week’s games seem mostly anti-climactic and guacamole is, as always, climactic.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of newly-minted TBS host Conan O’Brien. In India.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIZCtDJtFPw

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by awful human being Ted Bundy, graduate of the University of Washington, a non-embarrassing academic institution.

*****
• CBS cameras caught LSU coach Les Miles eating grass during the Alabama game. Apparently it wasn’t the first time. This singular act is why college football is light years beyond the NFL.

• This week’s BCS Standings are out. You know they’re legit when an exceedingly average Kansas State team checks in at #24.

• The Denver Post is reporting that Dan Hawkins job at Colorado is safe “for now.” It should be noted that a hacker installed a macro in the computers at The Denver Post that changes the words “absolute dust” to “safe.” Just for giggles.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno won his 400th game. Word from State College, PA was that the coach celebrated quietly with family and a printout of the names and positions of his current starters. He’ll have it memorized by bowl time, damnit.

• Washington Athletic Director Scott Woodward watched his school lose AGAIN to Oregon, but took the time to call the academics at Oregon an embarrassment. And now a brief non-sanctioned Oregon rebuttal.

1. Woodward probably poops his pants all the time. I don’t know if this is true or not, but my subpar Oregon education never came with a manual explaining whether or not it’s ethical to imply who is and is not a Mr. Poopypants.

2. Woodward is the athletic director at Washington and has nothing to do with how good or bad Washington’s academics is or is not. Your revenue sports are (at best) average, your football stadium is dumpy, and you send out Jake Locker postcards. Congratulations.

• There was an exciting end to a game between two anonymous unranked teams.

• The Pac Twen announced its 2011 schedule. And you thought the next 23 seconds of your life would be uneventful. Ha!

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel, in his weekly College Football Overtime column,  implies that the SEC would be better served just shutting down football as a conference sport. Or it’s the usual column reviewing the week in college football. I can never tell.

• CBS Sports’s Eric Sorensen grids it up, giving awards to teams, people, and abstract concepts. Everyone will treasure these forever.

• CBS Sports’s Dr. Jerry Palm says the TCU-Boise State battle is “far from done.” Seriously, it’s in the title, why would I make that up?

• EDSBS has power rankings that go on distracted tangents quicker than … ooh I could go for an English muffin. How good are those nooks and crannies?

• LSUFreek has Nick Saban peeing in a bathroom next to a tiger. You may think he’s just putting Saban’s head into a scene from “The Hangover,” but really that’s exactly what’s going on. Kudos, Mr. College Education.

• Another Florida freshman may be in the doghouse. This one is DT Dominique Easley. He’ll either be the best Florida DT ever or will be off the team by December. There’s no in-between.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers have conference race updates. We at The Solid Verbal vehemently disagree with the notion that Texas is last in the Big 12 South, as Texas is still very much Texas.

*Note to Ty, if I knew how to autotune, I would produce no less than 17 electronic dance hits with you saying, “Texas is still Texas.” And the chorus would include, “speaking of pedophiles.”

• The Wiz (aka The Kingmaker) has local and national Week 11 reactions and the week’s snapshots. Texas fans seem bummed. Mack Brown Karma is a BITCH.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an outstanding trick play (via The Wiz).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UIdI8khMkw

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan discuss a crazy week of high-scoring action and a very important statement win by TCU.  Plus, Reverbs and poking more fun at Ty’s locks.

Ty and Dan discuss the breaking news about Cam Newton’s recruitment, play voice messages, read e-mails and break down all the Week 10 action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Willie Nelson, former Baylor student. Does anybody dislike Willie Nelson? He may secretly be one of the most universally-liked people in America. And now his college football team is playing well. Actually, I don’t know if he follows football, but I like to think he does. Because I just flat out like the guy.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Utah’s recent success. I got kind of sick of reading about all the “Solid Verbal Bump” stuff with Whittingham, but other than that, it’s a good read.

• MGoBlog’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) reacts to the news that Michigan may escape the NCAA’s wrath. The next step is now escaping the wrath of average Big 10 offensive lines. One step at a time.

• South Florida beat Rutgers last night. And now you know.

• This week’s Baylor/Oklahoma State tilt means something for the first time in a long time. “Honest, mister!” says ESPN’s David Ubben.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell you what to watch and make Saturday predictions. I’ll tell you what not to watch, predict something. and I’ll do it all in one sentence. SNL will be painfully unfunny.

• Miami RB Damien Berry won’t play against Maryland because he’s “banged up.” That sentence took longer than usual to type, as even my fingers have sense how boring the ACC has become.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is just kickin’ it with Mike Leach in Key West. Seems fun and possibly a bit terrifying.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) writes about TCU/Utah and the BCS.

• Alabama WR Julio Jones faces LSU CB Patrick Peterson on Saturday. And they’ll probably just neutralize each other during a 13-11 game. Yay.

• After missing a few weeks with a knee injury, Arizona QB Nick Foles will start for the Wildcats against Stanford on Saturday. His hair remains day to day.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Ellen DeGeneres scaring people. This falls under the never-not-funny-unless-it-happens-to-you category. We need to get Ty famous and on Ellen’s show.

Enjoy your Thursday.