Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Ty and Dan welcome Bruce Feldman back to the show to discuss Clemson’s ceiling, the looming LSU-Alabama showdown, Urban Meyer-to-Penn State rumors, the misunderstood Mike Gundy, and a host of other hot topics in college football.  Plus, your e-mails and voice messages, and a Week 7 Preview.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Ty and Dan make their Week 6 Picks, talk about Missouri’s potential move to the SEC, discuss Michigan’s defense, and debate whether Clemson is 2010 Auburn in disguise.

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Ty Hildenbrandt and Dan Rubenstein take a closer look at impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, poke fun at Texas A&M’s pass defense, and devise a diabolical scheme to fix South Carolina’s quarterback problem. Plus, another batch of listener Reverbs and another tale of Nick Foles’ performance… in a losing effort, of course.

Ty and Dan plod through more cumbersome talk of conference realignment and play through Verballer voice messages before previewing week 4 and putting a double-jinx on Saturday’s Florida State-Clemson game.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Scarlett Johansson, who, besides being everywhere on the Internet today, should just be here every once in awhile to restore Chorus order.

****

• The Columbus Dispatch has new details regarding Ohio State booster tomfoolery.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy has new coach report cards atop bowl projections and Heisman voting. All free.

• Georgia RB Isaiah Crowell is officially your starting Bulldog back.

• Oklahoma‘s looking west. Hey, if you’re going to be a part of ruining college football, might as well get some occasional Santa Monica hotel rooms out of it, too.

• Oregon State QB Sean Mannion is your new starting Beaver QB. I’ll update you if this ever matters again.

• Boise State gets sanctioned up. Welcome to the medium time, fellas.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has a new Numerical column. It’s mostly a bummer, but in the fact-iest kind of way.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has moving picture power rankings.

• Notre Dame TE Mike Ragone is out for the year with an ACL issue.

• Every awesome spinny ESPNU logo. You know you like it.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is dogs at 1000 frames/second. This is happening, people.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJAme5ThFIw

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan talk about Texas A&M’s move to the SEC, Mark Richt’s hot seat, poor sportsmanship, and all the important action ahead in the second week of the season.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Christine Taylor, Allentown PA native. She’s also, by my count, the only person to ever appear in “Hey Dude,” “Zoolander,” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Amazing.

*****

• Texas A&M is going to the SEC, just as long as the Big 12 doesn’t get too lawsuit-happy (which they probably are).

• The HATERZ still doubt Boise State, says CBS’s Dennis Dodd.

• Tommy Rees is officially your new starting Notre Dame QB.

• Starting Oklahoma State S Johnny Thomas is ineligible for the 2011 season.

• Four suspended Ohio State players are back. FINALLY.

• Florida didn’t show much against Florida Atlantic. Well, yeah.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff says Mississippi State can’t get too excited about Auburn’s run D. Ok, it can get a little excited.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has a B1G stock report. He’s quite impressed by what Penn State did against Indiana State. Somebody has to be.

• Texas has young RBs who may or may not get stonewalled by older men on Saturday vs BYU.

• The Marshall Lobbestael era (six or so weeks worth) begins (again) for Washington State. Woo.

• Georgia‘s probably in on the spread offense.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples compares college football teams to TV shows. Or something, I’m lost.

• The Wiz has the best screengrabs of the week. This is quietly one of my favorite things about college football every year.

• USC RB Marc Tyler is back and he now has a shiny new merit badge for silence.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter and family are probably unhappy with Lane Kiffin.

• Oklahoma RB Jonathan MIller is done with Norman. Done.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Louis CK talking about George Carlin. Kind of perfect.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R37zkizucPU

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan lick their wounds after Notre Dame and Oregon suffer losses, but power through a full hour and recap all the significant Week One action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oregon alumnus and sometime entrepreneur Phil Knight. Felt right.

*****

• Mississippi State rolled Memphis. Pretty numbers can be found next to the names of Bulldog QB Chris Relf and RB Vic Ballard.

• Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson and the Badgers had a fun Thursday night in Madison.

• CBS’s (!) Bruce Feldman has weekend picks. He began by missing the exact Wisconsin score by two points. Good start.

• USC secondary coach WIllie Mack Garza resigned. “NCAA probe” and “Willie Lyles” are two names that a report mentioned. Oops.

• Kentucky played Western Kentucky. Let’s just forget it ever happened.

• Syracuse‘s path to the national championship just got a little clearer.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall wrote this yesterday. SB Nation’s Spencer Hall wrote this. Not fair.

• ESPN‘s bloggers debate international free trade trends. Just kidding, it’s just Boise St -- Georgia.

• Connor Shaw will (maybe?) start at QB for South Carolina against ECU tomorrow. This can only end well, right?

• Ohio State is getting their suspension on. Feels like old times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples talks to LSU coach Les Miles in moving pictures.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa is listed as “questionable” for tomorrow’s game at Boston College.

• Alabama‘s going with two QBs tomorrow. Fancy.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features a slingshot slip ‘n slide that launches people into a lake. I’m in.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShFAeNdiEiA

Enjoy your Friday. AND COLLEGE FOOTBALL SATURDAY!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan kick off their fourth season as hosts of The Solid Verbal by reviewing the news of the week, reading a handful of Verballer messages, and previewing the biggest games of 2011′s opening weekend.

Ty and Dan are joined by Brian Murphy from The Idaho Statesman and Kyle King from DawgSports.com to break down Boise State-Georgia from every possible angle.

Ty and Dan talk with Andy Staples from SI.com and preview the upcoming SEC season, Alabama’s defense, Mark Richt’s job security, Stephen Garcia’s leadership, LSU’s questions, and Kentucky’s non-existent offense.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by noted boat captain and laddy mag officer Hugh Hefner. He also is quite familiar with what Oskee Wow Wow means. I-L-L.

*****

• Four LSU players (including QB Jordan Jefferson) will be questioned soon about their alleged involvement in a bar fight. Well played, LSU, never let Oregon and the Pac-12 one-up the SEC with anything.

• NC State DT J.R. Sweezy is out six weeks after breaking his foot. Shame, he’s the captain of the All Real-Name-Sounds-Like-A-Nickname team.

• CBS’s Eric Sorenson has schedule grades. Kudos for the “F-” addition.

• Oregon RB Lache Seastrunk, a once-touted prospect and current central person in the ongoing Will Lyles saga, has decided to transfer, possibly to Baylor. Worth it!

• Nebraska‘s studying up for the B1G.

• ESPN‘s conference bloggers have bowl projections, just in case it had been too long without reading the words “Meineke Car Care” on a sports site.

• Notre Dame will name a starting QB tomorrow. The lathering sound you hear is coming from Eastern PA.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Alabama, proving he’ll preview any team, no matter how small or well-dressed they may be.

• Georgia has new uniforms for Week 1′s Boise State game.

• Is there a Taiwanese animation to accompany the Miami-Nevin Shapiro story? You tell me.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney previews the Mountain West. Hoping he didn’t wear blue on blue when he wrote it. Scandal.

• Celebrate former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro with new, comfortable attire!

• Rivals has the top ten flaws in college football. ACTUAL football flaws.

• “Boston College RB” is the new “Spinal Tap drummer.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is what you get when you combine a former fighter pilot who is now well into his 70s, a video camera, and a frank talk about boners.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGJ1zTMEupw

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college person Marisa Miller, who appears on Camera Guy Dave’s show, The Daily Habit. He’s now Producer Dave. Take pity on him.

*****

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno suffered shoulder and hip injuries after being run over during practice yesterday. Not cool, WR just doing his job like he’s supposed to, not cool.

• SI.com dares to go inside the private world of Urban Meyer. It appears there are more smiles (and mustaches) there than in the Urban Meyer public world.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has UCLA practice notes. Mine will be coming out here shortly. His are far more informative.

• Texas S Christian Scott was arrested for misdemeanor assault. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. (etc)

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Texas and comes to the conclusion that he has no idea what to think. Perfect.

• Upcoming guest and ESPN Big 12 blogger David Ubben ranks conference LBs.

• He then breaks down Big 12 QB competition, which isn’t the same now that Kansas’s Kale Pick is now a WR. RIP Most Unfortunate Last Name for a QB.

• The Pac-12 only has one QB battle (UCLA). “Battle” may be too strong a word for anything happening in Westwood right now.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff does the same in the SEC. DRAMA.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel and Andy Staples have ten reasons to be excited about college football. Number 11? Staples/Mandel collabo column. Duh.

• ESPN has interviews with conference commissioners. They’re as exciting as you think they are.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s Rob Moseley has an Oregon practice update.

• Georgia LB Jarvis Jones has been cleared by the NCAA.

• It’s SEC Week in DrSaturdayville. Read, absorb, learn.

• Nebraska has a WR/QB. I’m officially calling the position a “Qwibber” (QWBR).

• Rivals previews the Pokes. Yee-haw.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is world record parallel parking. Yes, that exists.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeFNunnYiKY

Enjoy your Tuesday. Fashion!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the always-dreamy Harry Hamlin, Yale graduate. Excuse me, after last night, it’s Big Dog, Yale graduate (NSFW language).

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks with paralyzed Rutgers player Eric LeGrand about kickoffs.

• Nebraska QB signee Bubba Starling is still figuring out if he wants to take $7.5 million from the Kansas City Royals. Good one!

• Syracuse WR Marcus Sales is quite serious about the drugs that may or may not belong to him in his vehicle. Felony drug charges now exist for Sales.

• Illinois LB Ashante Williams has been suspended indefinitely. So So Indef.

• You were all probably wondering if Terrelle Pryor‘s high school mentor was cleared three years ago of improper booster behavior, right?. Good news for all.

• Fox Sports Houston talks the 2011 schedule of… Houston. I know, right?

• Need a little Holgorsen to get your August started? Of course you do.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Georgia, a team with numbers in all of the right places (except the pesky W-L columns).

• UCF coach George O’Leary just wants to be liked. By everyone.

• More B1G team previews and conference forecasting are now available (FREE) as Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday concludes B1G Week.

• Penn State QB Paul Jones (former 5*) will miss 2011 with academic issues.

• USC is the latest Rivals team preview. Again, these Rivals previews would be a good place to start learning about more than just the QB’s name when you talk about a team (ahem, anonymous TV analysts).

• Michigan DC Greg Mattison is getting bizzay in Ann Arbor. I’m so in touch.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an older lady being thrown about and terrified in Corvette. Always funny.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cTR9Ak6X9U

Enjoy your Monday. Support the Verbal.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brooklyn Decker, anonymous North Carolina fan and actress(ish) in a new movie called Battleship. Based on Battleship the board game. I blame everyone but her for how horrible it’ll be.

*****

• Butch Davis is out at North Carolina. Not totally unexpected, but the timing is such that UNC must REALLY not want anything to do with him. Interesting.

SI.com’s Andy Staples has questions. Such a sleuth.

Was it the whole cheating thing? Maybe?

ESPN’s Heather Dinich reviews possible UNC interim candidates.

• Gunner Kiel, the nation’s unanimous #1 HS QB prospect chose … Indiana. How many times do you think IU coach Kevin Wilson used the word “Bradford” during conversations? 71,000? 73,000?

• The Pac-12 Network was expected. We got Pac-12 NetworkS. In a year, you won’t be able to avoid Jeff Tedford‘s face. So, yeah.

• Oklahoma State has new uniforms. The gray lids have a fan in me.

• When Oregon WR coach Scott Frost leaves Eugene for Nebraska (or whoever gives him an OC job), they’ll be worse off.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has Pac-12 media day notes. I learned that Washington‘s large people are dented.

• ESPN’s David Ubben does the same with the Big 12. Iowa State appears to be tapping the breaks on the whole “tough non-conference schedule” thing.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff profiles Vanderbilt QB Larry Smith, currently Nashville’s most sacked college QB!

• The new voice of FIU football is … former CNN anchor Rick Sanchez? Okeedoke.

• Clay Travis says air conditioning is responsible for Florida sports dominance. Not to be outdone, it’s also responsible for some of my most dominant naps.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Missouri. Don’t tell anyone, but they’re defense has gotten, at times, scary good.

• Thought you knew the rules? Good, now forget everything — SI.com’s Andy Staples has you covered.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it and suggests that Washington could be better sans Jake Locker, something I’ve been saying for at least 10-15 minutes.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday goes green and previews Michigan State. Because they wear green. Brilliant.

• They’re also seeing red as they preview Nebraska. God, I’m so on today.

• Georgia LB (and USC transfer) Jarvis Jones will miss the 2011 season with a shoulder injury.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the next sports to take the world by storm — I call it kicky jumpy mini-volleyball, or KJMV. Sign up now!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ljb6Mne8Mfc

Enjoy your Thursday. Thread up.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by USC attendee Ron Howard, who had a similar run-in with TMZ to Marc Tyler’s, only his was way more graphic.

*****

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly gave his first extensive comments since Yahoo!‘s most recent Will Lyles story. Not much was said.

• Alabama *officially* has nothing to do with T-Town Menswear, the outfitter that definitely didn’t do anything wrong with current and former Tide players.

• The Mountain West has arbitrarily decided that Boise State can’t wear their all-blues at home. Because really, what you want to do when you lose your biggest team and gain a new signature team, you’d like alienate the new guys as soon as possible.

• Former Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor has a clearer path to the NFL’s Supplemental Draft — the Buckeyes want nothing to do with him.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck will only play one more year for Stanford, surprising no one.

• UCLA QB Brett Hundley will be out for about a month after tearing meniscus in his right knee. The Bruins is exactly on schedule.

• Florida RB (and noted sprinter) Jeff Demps will play football this fall. Quickly.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks to Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops at Big 12 media day about losing. Exciting stuff.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has decided robots are the way to go for college football. It’s all fun and games until the video replay machine kills somebody.

• ESPN has choice quotes and storylines from Big 12 media day (Day 2). Lapel pins wowed the masses.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller is all up in Stanford QB Andrew Luck’s beard. And I don’t blame him.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt talks to ESPN’s Chris Fowler al fresco.

• Clemson QB Tajh Boyd got in an early dig on South Carolina. I like.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly loves him some pig sooie.

• I see what you did there, Georgia Tech. Clever.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has a Minnesota preview. It includes a painful MarQueis Gray pun (but is otherwise very good).

(Michigan and Iowa are also ready for knowledge-gaining)

• Rivals has a West Virginia preview. I’m choosing to pronounced probable star WR Ivan McCartney “Ee-vahn,” mostly because I can.

• Tate Forcier is going to San Jose State (this week).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Baylor QB Robert Griffin not giving a crap. Go to 2:12 mark. (via Dr Sat)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAmEJ6qLN6Y

Enjoy your Wednesday. Drape yourself in fine cloth. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Penn attendee Elizabeth Banks. I feel no need to defend this choice.

*****

• ESPN has the choice quotes and stories from Day 2 of SEC Media Days. Choice, I say!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall sails and fishes with Mike Leach. It’s outstanding.

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik says his public conversation with an NCAA enforcement official at an SEC meeting was “not confrontational.” No big.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy summarizes Georgia coach Mark Richt‘s turn at the SEC podium.

• Minnesota WR Da’Jon McKnight no longer eats breakfast burritos.

• Big East QBs are ranked. UConn has the distinct honor of last place with a Tecmo Super Bowl entry of “QB UConn.” Harsh.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller talks to Utah QB Jordan Wynn, who apparently has almost no power over any major Las Vegas resort hotels.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday previews North Carolina. Click if you want to see an uncomfortable Butch Davis face.

• USF TE Jeff Hawkins is out for the year. His ACL is a total jerk.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is GirlFails. Pretty simple.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB8NOICP4kY

Enjoy your Friday. Buy buy buy!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about the launch of his new site (OutkickTheCoverage.com) and his thoughts on a hodgepodge of SEC topics in the midst of Media Days.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Miami attendee and Curb You Enthusiasm mainstay Jeff Garlin. Here’s to hoping that, at one point, Garlin yelled out, “IT’S ALL ABOUT DA U!”

*****

• Former Georgia coach Jim Donnan is accused of profiting off of a Ponzi scheme. I, I, I just have nothing.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy thinks that if USF is FOR REALZ about succeeding in college football they need to leave Raymond James Stadium. For. Ev. Er.

• Everybody, this is Russell Wilson … Russell, this is everybody. Hurray!

• Is Cal coach Jeff Tedford going and making things so complicated? Maybe?

• Today’s July 18th, which means two things — 1. It’s Vin Diesel‘s birthday, and 2. B1G specialist rankings ARE OUT.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller reviews Pac-12 linebackers. We’re all grateful he led off with ASU MLB Vontaze Burfict, not only because it’s deserved, but also because the safety of Ted’s family was probably at stake.

• Former Georgia Tech C Sean Bedford wrote an open letter to the NCAA that ended with him saying they could pry his 1999 ACC championship ring from his “cold, dead finger.” Well okay then!

• Years after Larry Coker allegedly only used Rivals to recruit, he’s bringing college football to San Antonio.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Oklahoma State. There’s a pretty good chance new OC Todd Monken is taking notes.

• Former Michigan WR Desmond Howard led a new class into the College Football Hall of Fame. Humbly.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel profiles Michigan coach Brady Hoke.

• As per my understanding of photography and art, Wyoming will be wearing giant, oversized helmets this fall.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has a very specific set of WAC predictions.

• Georgia‘s loading up on touted recruits. Probably wise.

• Rivals profiles first-year starting QBs who could maybe (potentially) win some games.

• UCLA is getting Vanderbilt CB Jamie Graham, which is pretty much the final puzzle piece for the Bruins.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is what happens when water jet packs don’t, um, jet.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=he2a4xK8ctk

Enjoy your Monday. Today’s Solid Verbal Apparel Day!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Connie Britton, Dartmouth graduate, Friday Night Lights alumnus, and Jimmy Traina podcast guest. I think we all know what her legacy will be.

*****

• Bruce Feldman has an army of supporters. Here’s proof. And here’s the original story.

• Georgia Tech‘s 2009 season didn’t happen and they’ll be probed closely for the next four years. For $100,000.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd examines the new Mike Leach book, Swing Your Sword.

• Fox Sports Florida claims Florida State’s secondary is the “best in the nation” (according to the headline). Also, it’s an irrefutable fact that the Seminoles were 103rd in 2010 in total passing yards allowed and were thoroughly average even within the ACC in Y/A allowed, QB rating against, and completion percentage against. Other than that, though, LOCK DOWN.

• Touted RB recruit Kenyan Drake picked his school of choice via head shaving. Yeah.

• Rivals previews Michigan. Apparently, the impact newcomer is a kicker. If that doesn’t get you fired up … you’re probably justified in your apprehension.

• Jim Tressel was officially “unacceptable.”

• Georgia LB Richard Samuel is now Georgia RB Richard Samuel.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an elaborate toy war. I’m more than a little jealous.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=38pj4mWDrsA

Enjoy your Friday. Merchandise!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Lindsay Sloane, college career unknown. I do know that she went to the same high school as Matt Cassell, she’s briefly in Horrible Bosses and will be in something called “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy.” I enjoy Lindsay Sloane.

*****

• ESPN‘s suing Ohio State for the most valuable commodity of all — INFORMATION.

• Eleven Warriors has the requests from various CFB media for Ohio State documents. My brain is imploding.

• Excerpts from Mike Leach‘s new book, Swing your Sword can be found on Yahoo’s The PostGame (red period).

• Georgia OL Brent Benedict is transferring to Virginia Tech. Once those cows greet you as you drive into Blacksburg, IT’S OVER.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly tries to understand Cincinnati.

• The day has finally come — ESPN RANKS B1G SECONDARIES!!!!!!

• ESPN is previewing impact games well ahead of kickoff and about three weeks ahead of fall camp. And I’m reading them.

• The toxicology reports from the death of Oklahoma LB Austin Box have been released.

• Fox Sports Detroit previews B1G QBs. If you get distracted, there are photographs of random attractive Detroit citizens to take your mind off of football.

• Things were even fishier than we probably even thought with the way ESPN’s Craig James handled the whole “I’m gonna get a coach fired” situation.

• Arizona State doesn’t stop working at 5:00. They try to sell season ticket packages to see a team in an outdated, half-empty stadium at all hours of the night. (via Dr Sat)

• I didn’t even know this existed, but SI.com has recruiting rundowns by 24/7′s Barton Simmons. Start reading ‘em, especially when they’re about Oregon not hurting in the short term on the recruiting trail.

• The Wiz has Army’s 2011 poster schedule. Not pictured: Patti LaBelle.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris, after being absent from some summer workouts (presumably to work on not driving 118 mph) is back working out with the team voluntarily.

• Kansas City Royals OF Bubba Starling is in Lincoln, NE.

• Washington will play San Diego State and LSU next year. Husky games just got way more attractive (physically).

• Oh don’t pretend like you didn’t see a Randy Edsall-inspired ice cream flavor coming.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is part one of a documentary about the recent Tuscaloosa tornado. A giant basketball player is prominently involved.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Carnegie Mellon attendee and LSU fan Katy Mixon. Sorry, what was I saying?

*****

• Mike Vrabel retired from the NFL and has accepted a job to coach LBs at Ohio State.

• Ex-Mizzou QB Tyler Gabbert is the new Tate Forcier. Adjust your brains.

• Georgia RB Caleb King will be academically ineligible to compete this fall. And yes, he’s hoping to be drafted supplementally.

• ESPN previews Pac-12 interior defensive linemen. I’ll save you some time — pretty much everyone that was good last year is gone.

• Notre Dame plays three ACC games. ESPN’s Heather Dinich takes an early July crack at the outcomes.

• ESPN ranks the SEC’s best home run threats. ESS EE SEE afmnvmjqdgnaqdfjk.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett isn’t impressed by Ohio State’s response to the NCAA‘s notice of allegations.

• Oklahoma CB Jamell Fleming has rejoined the Sooners. It appears to be a reverse Caleb King situation.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly delights in previewing Stanford. Basically, the Cardinal are going to do what you expect them to do, they’ll just do it well enough to be successful. Pretty simple, really.

• Litigious former UNC DE Michael McAdoo cheated like crazy on a paper. Allegedly. (LIKE CRAZY)

• Michigan received a verbal commitment from a former Ohio State verbal commitment. Hilarious.

• Ole Miss RB Brandon Bolden is shvitzing.

• Rivals ranks their top 25 teams of the past ten years (in recruiting).

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer wraps coverage of The Opening, last week’s major recruiting combine/tournament on the Nike campus in Portland, OR.

• IGN has posted their review of NCAA ’12, which appears to be slowly becoming an off-the-field experience that also features actual gameplay.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the return of Kenny Powers, K-Swiss CEO. BOOM.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIQ0EhEMiSs

Enjoy your Monday. Get ya’ clothing!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Regis Philbin, who apparently attended and graduated from Notre Dame. Who knew?

*****

• If you’re the last person who hasn’t read it, here’s Yahoo!’s Will Lyles/Oregon story.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer ponders independence and major football programs.

• The body of Purdue RB Sean Matti was found in a Lake in Indiana. Unspeakably tragic.

• Former UNC DE Mike McAdoo is suing UNC and the NCAA for reinstatement. Nancy Grace is outraged.

• Illinois DL Chris Jones was charged with battery. At least he didn’t have cocaine on him like the last time he was arrested, right?

• Alabama QB A.J. McCarron has a sizable sternum tat. Reason for concern?

• SI.com’s Andy Staples brings the noise with his Cheating for Dummies column.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly includes Yo La Tengo in his USF preview. Also, Bill Connelly never stops.

• Neither does Rivals’s's’s's’s UCF preview, apparently.

• South Carolina DE Jadeveon Clowney is officially a South Carolina DE. Must’ve been waiting for all of the AP results to come back.

• Want Rich Rodriguez’s Michigan house? Sure you do! (via Dr Sat)

• Auburn needs a QB. Soon.

• The Big East has defensive lines, so ESPN feels compelled to rank them.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett echoes what we talked about last week — new Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson is good, but the greatness talk needs to be scaled back.

• The B1G has LBs. But you knew that already.

• A giant combine/tournament is going on on the Nike campus in Portland. ESPN has first-day stories.

• Cincinnati QB Chazz Anderson (DOUBLE Z!) has transferred to Buffalo. RIP multiple Chaz(z)es in the Big East.

• Georgia assistant recruiting coordinator Charles Canton got the hell out of Athens. Peculiar?

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at the B1G challenges ahead for Nebraska.

• Vanderbilt decided to pull a Stanford and recruit smart kids that can also play football.

• Maryland OL Justin Lewis is now persona non grata in College Park, MD.

• Top incoming Texas DT Quincy Russell failed to qualify for the Longhorns.

• Incoming Alabama RB Dee Hart may have torn an ACL. Or maybe not.

• Rivals profiles new Texas Tech DC Chad Glasgow, who promises to be better than the last guy, Chad Edinburgh.

• The Longhorn Network is getting two 2011 Texas games. Hurray!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is mustachio’d monkeys being fascinated by an iPod touch. Of course.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nP73LFhcKY

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy clothing!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kentucky alum and superfan, Ashley Judd, who is probably paying part of John Calipari’s eventually-vacated contract extension.

*****

• Two Georgia players are now on the (in)eligibility radar. I pasted that from an earlier item.

• In dealing with NCAA inquiries, Oregon has retained the services of a law firm and attorney that writers themselves call “The Cleaner.”

• UNC released the names of the players who accrued the hundreds of parking tickets. Former WR Greg Little “had 93 tickets on multiple vehicles with nine different license plates.” Prolific.

• USF OL Danous Estenor heroically picks up cars. No big deal.

• Former NC St QB Russell Wilson will announce his 2011 destination today. He will then appear on College Football Live. Adjust your schedule accordingly. Or don’t, whatever.

• ESPN’s Craig James appears to have become awfully political for an analyst not supposed to be publicly political.

• ESPN has Big East OL rankings, ACC OL rankings, and B1G OL rankings. Don’t blame me when conference OL rankings come up at a cocktail party and you have nothing to say.

• Something called “T-Woolf” will take the field for Michigan in a couple months. I warned you.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Michigan State while also conceding that the Spartans didn’t deserve to beat Alabama in the Capital One Bowl. Whew.

• Vanderbilt has sneakily begun the recruiting season in strong fashion. Do yo’ thang, Coach Hand. Do yo’ thang.

• Former Alabama RB Corey Grant will transfer to Auburn to be in Gus Malzahn’s spread system. Apparently, he thinks Gus Malzahn will be in Auburn next fall. Cute.

• Florida DE Chris Martin will once again transfer. Frequent flyer miles up the wazoo.

• Pitt will take on its 48th B1G transfer, this time it’s Wisconsin RB Zach Brown.

• How Oklahoma State got $165 million from T. Boone Pickens. I imagine one of the ways was a promise of absolutely no swift boats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the worst cat DJ ever. Pretty much a no-talent.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HA5WVjMBX8

Enjoy your Monday. Buy tees!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Steve Buscemi, former OLB for the Lee Strasberg Film and Theater Institute football team. Ok that was a joke … he played left guard.

*****

• Beyond the emails, former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel probably had a kick-ass text messaging plan. Go unlimited or go home, son.

• Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton resigned this morning. You’d think he’d be given a longer leash after BOTH of his hires of coaches in revenue sports ran afoul of the NCAA and can be considered thorough Tennessee failures. Sheesh.

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart asked local reporters for dirt on OC/CIW Dana Holgorsen in the days before he was hired, leading to the recent leaks that Holgorsen was asked to leave casinos early in the morning. Fall camp is going to be FUN.

• WVU AD Oliver Luck gave an interview to 93.7 The Fan in Pittsburgh this morning. Here are some quotes.

• Top incoming Nebraska QB Bubba Starling was taken 5th overall in the MLB Draft. I believe Steve Miller said it best.

• Tommy Tuberville is an increasingly silly man.

• Mike Leach is an increasingly logical and bright man.

• Football Study Hall pumps out an Arizona State preview. ASU LB Vontaze Burfict just murdered Football Study Hall.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers review the 2010 ESPNU 150 selections after their freshman years. The SEC appears to have a lot of entries.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson talks to Rutgers coach Greg Schiano. I wonder if Rutgers fans still say things to each other like, “Hey remember 2006? That was AWESOME.”

• The Mountain West has a new logo. Oh and this is their time. Or something.

• Georgia is excited for new enormous NT John Jenkins.

• Former USC RB coach Todd McNair, the coach at the center of the NCAA‘s investigation of Reggie Bush, is formally suing the NCAA for “libel, slander, tortious interference with prospective economic advantage, tortious interference with contractual relations, breach of contract, negligence and declaratory relief.” That kind of thing.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has officially stopped sleeping and has moved on to slamming the SEC over banning graduates from other programs from transferring to an SEC school and playing immediately. Also, he lists the top 25 jobs in college football.

• USC MLB Devon Kennard is now USC DE Devon Kennard.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of the greatest movie threats ever. You better watch (language NSFW fo-sho) …

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbIlLmCID5g

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UC Riverside alum and Hangover Part 2 actress Jamie Chung. Chung is attractive and UCR is known has the Highlanders and their bear mascot has a half blue face to honor William Wallace. No part of that sentence was invented in any way.

*****

• Former Ohio State WR Ray Small sold his Buckeye memorabilia while still enrolled and on the team. I just hope Jim Tressel doesn’t fire E. Gordon Gee. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg puts it into context.

• USC‘s appeal of the NCAA‘s 2010 decision was straight Mutumbo’d. Remember USC’s 2004 BCS title? Wrong, you don’t.

• Is the Big East expanding? Could they add another school in Texas or the service academies? Find out next time on “Maybe?”!!

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel explains why Alabama is his preseason #1. He surmises that their outstanding good players will impact their fortunes.

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen and WVU AD Oliver Luck agreed that Holgorsen’s mystery actions were “inappropriate.” Stop with the teasing already, Morgantown.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt appears to be selling his lake house because he’s a charitable human being. I’m ok with this.

• LSU is “oozing” with talent. DC John Chavis illustrates this, um, accurately in the attached photo.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff addresses SEC QB battles. Apparently, nobody knows who’s going to throw for a crapload of INTs in Oxford yet.

• Fox Sports, with an assist from a photo gallery of ACC cheerleaders, profiles new Clemson QB Tajh Boyd, Boyd, by all accounts, had a mostly horrific spring, though it’s oddly not mentioned here at all. But the cheerleaders definitely are.

• Football Study Hall has your stinkin’ numbers right here, UCLA. And they really are quite stinkin’.

• A high school freshman has eight major verbal scholarship offers. This can only end well.

• Indiana football is going to be different this time. Honest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a clip from last night’s amazing NCAA South Park (via EDSBS).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVfiaVM0ap8

Enjoy your Thursday

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Athens, GA native Kim Basinger, who probably doesn’t know Jake Scott, recent College Football Hall of Fame inductee from Georgia. She also probably doesn’t know that her scenes in Wayne’s World 2 made me feel all funny inside. Probably.

*****

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has a post-spring Top 25. Ty’s already excited.

• The Daily’s Dan Wolken takes down the APR system.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy weighs in on Big East expansion in the wake of the mammoth Pac-12 TV deal. Apparently, the Big East wants some pie.

• EA Sports’s NCAA 12 lets you screw around with conference and bowl alignment. And the Big East takes another early hit.

• Former Ohio State basketball player Mark Titus comments on the little he knows (or doesn’t) regarding Ohio State football players and their automobiles.

• Want coach’s cam angle game film from Auburn/Oregon, TCU/Wisconsin, and Stanford/Oregon? Follow this link, friend. (via EDSBS)

• Fox Sports South profiles Alabama RB Trent Richardson and even trots out pictures of Florida cheerleaders to bolster their content. Heroic.

• Football Study Hall slaps Purdue around with rock hard data. And sexy line graphs.

• Georgia alum and new College Football Hall of Fame inductee Jake Scott is a man.

• SI.com’s Bill Carey makes the case for ten possible early enrollee impact players.

• LSU coach Les Miles is/was a greased-up, sculpted man machine.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Bert sitting down with SNL’s Andy Samberg. Yes, that Bert.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhDIlSdpV-c

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UC Santa Cruz alum and star of the weekend’s #2 movie, Bridesmaids. This marks the first time that a Banana Slug starred in any weekend’s #2 movie. Ok, I’m just guessing here.

*****

• Ohio State and coach Jim Tressel have hired a law firm made up of ex-NCAA officials to fight the coach’s current and coming sanctions. No terrible college football deed goes un-defended by high-priced attorneys finding loopholes for cheaters.

• Cal‘s new starting QB is Buffalo transfer Zach Maynard. The semi-new look offense is going to specifically incorporate more read-option looks by a guy who threw more INTs than TDs during his last season on the field (in the MAC). Tricky.

• Mark Richt: Oversigning is pretty “awful.” Rest of SEC: Kthxbye.

• Oregon State DT Castro Masaniai has been suspended indefinitely from the Beavers after being arrested for second-degree kidnapping, coercion, disorderly conduct, harassment and criminal mischief. And it all happened in a McDonald’s. If EDSBS doesn’t give him some sort of honorary ribbon or something, the Fulmer Cup is all for naught.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has a primer on the … BIG TEN SPRING MEETINGS!!!!

• Ohio State’s 2010 Gold Pants are in limbo. Dun dun DUNNN!!

• USC coach Lane Kiffin and his QB Matt Barkley share a mutual respect. They also share a mutual fear of winning 10 games.

• Bill Connelly continues his numerical devilry as he examines Kansas State success rates and such.

• Ohio State reassigned its football PR maven. Because really, this is all her fault.

• The Sports Business Journal breaks down the motivations for rivals like ESPN and Fox to come together for the sake of Pac-12 media rights. As you’d probably expect, those motivations are mostly rooted in evil.

• Rivals lists their favorite good players on bad or so-so teams. Harsh.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the new New Era commercial with Alec Baldwin and John Krasinski. As soon as I have a little bit of money, I may do this all the time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjmvsc22OFw

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the newly single Arnold Schwarzenegger, a University of Wisconsin-Superior correspondence graduate and lover of all things derriere.

*****

• After receiving an extension, Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald will be continuing his reign of efficient spread passing terror through at least 2020. TERROR.

• Georgia RB Washaun Ealey will soon be (other team) RB after being granted his unconditional release from Georgia. If he becomes dominant wherever he goes, I’m calling dibs now on a nickname of “The Moving Violation.”

• Missouri QB Tyler Gabbert (younger brother of Sunshine Gabbert) announced his intention to transfer, with Clemson, according to his father, as a possible landing spot. Despite no college passing attempts, Mel Kiper already lists him on the big board.

• Four Miami players of minimal consequence are transferring. Oh well.

• Football Study Hall gets down and dirty with Duke. Not pretty.

• TCU doesn’t return a ton, but they’ve done enough to warrant a spring wrap from ESPN. It’s to be expected that MLB Tank Carder will hunt you down if you don’t click the link.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday examines TressellBall. What, you thought you were done with Craig Krenzel? NEVER!!

• Earlier in the offseason, Rutgers added former Pitt and Cal offensive coordinator Frank Cignetti to install an actual offense. For those expect an immediate impact, take a slow look at that resumé once again.

• USC WR Brice Butler announced his decision to transfer before announcing his decision to remain a Trojan. Without any knowledge to support this, due credit should be given to USC’s new on-campus Chick-fil-A. Works wonders.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Rafael Nadal getting fancy between his legs. Never hesitate to send me trick tennis shots. Never.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mevFnV5rCuI

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by ESPN’s most famous community college attendee/draft analyst, Mel Kiper Jr. I can’t pinpoint exactly what he does well or accurately, but he certainly, well, exists.

*****

• The Fiesta Bowl‘s eligibility is being reviewed by an 11 member NCAA panel. Nine of those members went on a Fiesta Bowl sponsored vacation, but I’m sure they’ll be completely impartial about giving the Fiesta Bowl an additional BCS game.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel breaks down the NCAA’s notice of allegations against Ohio State. Apparently they dodged some sort of bullet. If only there was some way to commemorate this with some sort of long-lasting form of body art…

• The NCAA has cleared Ole Miss QB transfer Barry Brunetti to play immediately for the Rebel Black Bears.

• Former Michigan CB Cullen Christian is officially transferring to Pitt, which is also the new home of three former Michigan assistants. So when you find yourself missing Michigan’s general secondary philosophy from the past few years, just flip on over to the Pitt game.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller points out that Arizona State believes it is their “time.” Time for what, nobody exactly knows, but many have already begun to speculate about a *possible* magical Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl run. Shh, don’t jinx it!

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg summarizes the action from Wisconsin’s spring game. Long story short, the QBs may have been throwing greased-up footballs.

• Baylor coach Art Briles is anti anti-taunting rules.

• ESPN has surprise SEC spring performers. It did little other than remind me that everybody should pronounce the name “Joel” as Jo-el. Let’s make it happen!

• There appears to be a lot of returning passing yards in the Pac-12. And whatever it is that Colorado does in that department.

• Iowa‘s strength and conditioning coach was given the “Assistant of the Year” award by the football program. The trophy was immediately hospitalized.

• Incoming Georgia DE Ray Drew hung out with fiddlin’ legend Charlie Daniels. The picture atop the story makes me happy.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best video I’ve ever seen of hipsters making beef stroganoff from scratch while also fighting a ninjas.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan are joined by ESPNU’s David Pollack to discuss first-hand draft experiences, scouting combines, QB projections, and racquetball against Mark Richt.  Plus, the breaking news about Ohio State’s Notice of Allegations and Verballer e-mails.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Marlo Stanfield, whose name is his name. If any college football coach yelled that at the end of an angry press conference, I think I’d abandon all Oregon loyalty and shift my allegiance immediately.

*****

• Notre Dame reached its own conclusions in their internal report regarding the windy day and the death of a videographer, so you know it’s probably accurate.

• Three high school football players of varying recruiting importance were arrested for stealing iPods and iPhones from the Georgia locker room. I’m holding out hope for Steve Jobs including this little factoid in his next keynote.

• New Michigan DC Greg Mattison is having an early effect on his players. And judging by the picture used, so is Joe Biden.

• Arizona‘s looking to do the unthinkable and win after Halloween this year. They’re hoping Texas WR transfer Dan Buckner will help.

• Tennessee QB Tyler Bray goes on a cliché-a-thon. It really is 110% impressive.

• Iowa State coach Paul Rhoads is Q’d and offers up some A’s. SO PROUD.

• FoxSports has a summary of Oklahoma’s spring game. Sooner LB Travis Lewis knew I was going to write that.

• Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino gets the SmartFootball treatment. And by that, I mean his passing plays get broken down in an intelligent fashion.

• Track ‘em Tigers has an Auburn spring game report. Solid Verbal interview hero/Auburn OL John Sullen gets high marks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of moderately awesome amateur videos from March.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT94JaDfVwY

Enjoy your Tuesday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Danny Pudi, whose Abed “character” admirably (and scientifically) calculated who was indeed the boss on “Who’s the Boss on last night’s Community. Play on, player. Play on.

*****

• The Pac-12 is having discussions with Fox, ESPN, NBC/Comcast, and Turner, with a figure of $2.3 buh-buh-billion dollars being thrown around for a ten year commitment. I’ll say it again, I’ll quit The Solid Verbal RIGHT NOW. No questions asked. If need be, I can even arrange the kidnapping of Ty. I can do it. Let’s do this thing.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd speaks with Penn State assistant Jay Paterno about the terrors 7-on-7 tournaments and its effect on recruiting. Of course there’s always possibility that the passing schemes at these camps overwhelm the Nittany Lion playbook.

• USC‘s got a whole lotta offensive line woes goin’ on.

• New Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is ruthless when comes to efficiency. The latest victim? The Killstache. RIP.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff previews tomorrow’s Ole Miss spring game.

• Aschoff does the same with Georgia, but with more allusions to moving violations.

• Tomorrow is a big Big East spring game day. Damn and it falls on the same calendar square as Dan Rubenstein Violent Nap Day.

• Wisconsin RB Zach Brown is an angry man, but in a good way. Like a dairy-fed Charles Bronson.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett interviews new Pitt coach Todd Graham. If you listen to yesterday’s show, you’ll be horrified at the statistics cited here.

• Five-star class of 2011 DT Delvon Simmons officially signed with Texas Tech after skipping out on North Carolina. He had long expressed a desire to play in a city a bit more nowheresy.

• As good as Alabama appears to look this fall, QB is still very much a question. As is, “How do we make this Brent Calloway story go away?”

• Fox Sports Ohio handicaps the Ohio State interim QB race. Jim Tressel appears to be covering up where he’s leaning.

• Vanderbilt OL coach Herb Hand CAN TAKE A HIT.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says Big 12 commissioner Dan Beebe is on the right path financially with the Big Twenelve.

• Texas A&M recruiting letters have, well, flair.

• EDSBS is raising money for an outstanding organization. If the mood strikes, stop by and help out.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is one of the better examples of everyone having an ability to do something outstanding. This girl sounds like animals. Her collection of birds is a revelation.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcVFM4X7OSg

Enjoy your Friday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU alumnus and brief Social Network actress Rooney Mara, one of the more eligible ladies anyone will come across. And by that I mean STRAIGHT. CASH. HOMEY.

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd remains suspended from the team (pending unknown Chip/Brian Kellyian hurdles), but will be allowed to enroll in school this fall. About right.

• Rivals is now considered to be a “scouting service” under new NCAA bylaws, meaning coaches and programs can no longer subscribe to the “service.” And in a quieter story, Bill Plaschke is no longer considered to be “credible columnist,” so it’s a violation for any fan to read his work Noted.

• Purdue K Carson WIggs nailed a 67 yard FG in the spring game. All 738 attendees got quite a show.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks LSU’s patience in Jordan Jefferson is fleeting. In tough times, though, it’s always important to think of the innocent, affected interceptions. They didn’t do anything wrong.

• And the Valley Shook has thoughts on LSU’s spring game. They’re feeling something weird in their pants when they watch the Tiger DBs. Acceptable.

• ESPN’s David Ubben visits Stillwater and gets a lot of Weeden.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller dapperly speaks to Stanford coach David Shaw.

• Illinois is trying to find a few great linebackers. Ok, pretty good. Ok, decent. Ok, willing.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has Florida spring game notes. It’s even painful to read.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Iowa notes. Vandenberg ahoy!

• Georgia OT Trinton Sturdivant tore an ACL for the THIRD TIME. Awful.

• USC WR Markeith Ambles simply didn’t show up at Saturday practice. Check the roof!

• Tim Tebow has a statue in front of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. It’s going to be weird for everyone when his furry sex dungeon is exposed. Perhaps I’ve said too much. Rawr.

• Fox Sports Florida profiles probable starting Florida State DE Bjorn Werner, a large powerful German dude. Advantage Noles.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder goes old school and profiles Arkansas QB Tyler Wilson. This has “Excuse to go to some BBQ place in Arkansas” written all over it.

• Purdue changed up their mascot, Purdue Pete, almost entirely because they’re incredibly lame.

• Colorado QB Tyler Hansen had a solid spring game for Colorado. In Buffalo-ese, this is otherworldly.

• Rivals takes an early look at 2011 scheduling. DO NOT READ THIS, COACHES!

• Oklahoma WR Justin McCay self-reported an injury. The Sonner spring game line is now off the board.

• “UCLA football player” is the new Spinal Tap drummer.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an adjusted Miley Cyrus song with terrible lip reading (on purpose).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii5IUihNuno

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Cal pole vaulter Allison Stokke, who I can only imagine is beyond excited to listen to our brand spankin’ new Jeff Tedford interview.

*****

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart is sick and GOT-DANG tired of all the messes off the field in college football and proposes five simple steps to clean up the game.

• Ole Miss QB Randall Mackey has turned the corner after struggling with his voice in the huddle. Good on him.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff did something entirely human to seal the deal with a recruit across the country.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno is none too pleased with his offensive line. Oh and also that incessant rock and roll racket.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg visits with Ohio State. I’m sure they love the attention.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich profiles new Virigina Tech QB Logan Thomas and the expectations surrounding his ascent to starter. And then she herself says he could be a mix of Tyrod Taylor and Cam Newton, so there’s that.

• Some mini-facts from the most recent scrimmages of Boston College and Miami have now seen the light of day.

• Colorado kicker Justin Castor isn’t a fan of Dan Hawkins nearly as much as he is, well, not a fan of Dan Hawkins.

• Yesterday was Colorado and today is Utah in Ted Miller‘s Pac-12 food odyssey.

• Scout.com has released its initial Scout 300 rankings for the 2012 class. #1 QB? Guy named Gunner. No big deal. Gunner.

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray wears a European Carry-all. It’s European!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the same sink prank done three straight years. To the same guy (language NSFW).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnHIkS0T9HQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Georgia alum Kyle Chandler. He was Coach Taylor on Friday Night Lights and stars in JJ Abrams’s “Super 8.” Clear eyes, etc.

*****

—> JOIN THE SOLID VERBAL NCAA POOL <—

• Four Auburn football players were arrested and charged with robbery. Excuse me, four FORMER Auburn players were arrested and charged with robbery. Fulmer Cup implications are here.

• It just would be the offseason without the annual Michigan State arrests — this time, though, the Spartan players tried something new and were arrested for assault and eluding police IN ASPEN. Gentlemen Spartans!

• Georgia coach Mark Richt is used to his seat being warmed by loving Georgia fans.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller examines Colorado’s depth. Sadly, he hasn’t been the same since.

• LSU is looking for an “offense,” whatever that is.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans looks at the different persons of interest and trends regarding recruiting services in a four part series. You can either read it yourself or have a stripper read an audio version to you.

• Barry Switzer is surprised you’d even call what Jim Tressel did “cheating.”

• SI.com’s Andy Staples asks SEC questions. The more I watch the accompanying videos, the more I think “Stew n’ Andy” should be a sitcom after “Meet the Browns” on TBS. <– Meant as a compliment.

• According to the Columbus Dispatch and Bob Hunter‘s giant byline picture, ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit moved to Nashville to get away from a small percentage of Ohio State fans we’ll call “The Crazies.”

• Is Miami OT Seantrel Henderson suspended for Miami’s opener at Maryland? Yes? No? Possibly? Anyone?

• UNC CB Charles Brown, who missed the 2010 season due to the school’s mass agent-connected suspensions, will sit out the Heels’ opener before becoming eligible to play.

• The NCAA sees Yahoo!!!!! reports as “supernaturally good at uncovering NCAA violations.” I think this means Charles Robinson has heat vision, though my reading comprehension is pretty low.

• Arkansas should probably be quite good this year. Rivals has the deets. That may be the hippest sentence I’ll ever write.

• Is Connor Wood outperforming the other Texas QBs during spring practice? The view from the  blimp that the Statesman’s Kirk Bohls rented indicates “possibly.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Zach Galifianakis preparing for his Mr. T sketch on SNL.

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Boston College alum Amy Poehler. She’ll probably never come down from the high associated with this specific achievement.

*****

• The lawyer who tipped off Ohio State coach Jim Tressel to the activities and associations of five of his players has been identified. He seems, well, interesting.

• Florida practices are closed to everyone. Intrigue! Or just inconvenience and undeserved self-importance after a bad year.

• Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson can get sassy.

• Boise State hosted the Oklahoma coaching staff. “Hey remember when we came back with the hook and… yeah.”

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Charles Robinson isn’t done breaking hearts.

• ESPN’s Chris Low gets all sorts of detailed about Georgia’s spring.

• Oregon State could look relatively different (see: possibly no Rodgerseseses) this fall.

• Easy classes for Stanford athletes will be harder to find after a “courses of interest” list has been discontinued. Poor, poor Stanford kids.

• Things on offense may get a bit “simpler” at Nebraska.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel got off easy when he received his Big 12 preview assignment and saw that he only had to look at ten questions.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday issues a first glance at Nevada going forward. And then a second, third, and fourth. He’s thorough.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart examines LSU. SPOILER: Everything looks pretty good except for the most important position.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall advises the NCAA on how to govern social media. Sex, drugs, and Satan are all in there.

• SB Nation has a new stat-minded football blog. Huzzah!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a 1982 Advertiser Promotion Tape from MTV. Radical.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlQntJI8UPE

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about Lane Kiffin, quarterbacks in the SEC, the bear population in Mississippi, and tattoos.  Plus, what the F is the Internet?

He is a graduate of the University of Ottowa and Today’s Chorus sponsor. Who is Alex Trebek? (see what I did there?)

*****

• Purdue WR Keith Smith has been denied a sixth year of eligibility.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall is terrified/mildly aroused (terrifoused?) at the new Nick Saban statue that will soon be found on Alabama’s campus.

• The Wall Street Journal is intrigued by SEC oversigning. My favorite sentence? “Sometimes, however, the math simply goes awry.”

• Michigan QB Denard Robinson appeared on Jeopardy! last night. For realsies.

• ESPN’s Chris Low reviews both the weekend and yesterday’s performance by the SEC at the NFL Scouting Combine. It all means very little.

• Ditto for ESPN’s Ted Miller and the Pac-12.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach (BAH) has eleven spring storylines to follow. It only involves noteworthy or recently successful teams. Amazing.

• Here’s a glance at Ole Miss‘s new mascot head. Tom Kite is already gushing over the headwear.

• Was Cam Newton in the room when Cecil Newton was allegedly recorded on tape talking about pricing? I have no idea.

• Stanford‘s just cruising along, thanks.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart puts together a (99% west coast-free!) dream team staff. His two DL dream team coaches were the front line of defenses that finished 7th in the Pac-10 and 7th in the SEC against the run last year. Wonderful.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jimmy Kimmel guiding supremely attractive women onto exercise balls. And then they hump the balls.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKekcHMiVVg

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Maryland alum Jim Henson, the late creator of the Muppets. I don’t doubt for a second that he’d like the Terps’ new uniforms.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd looks at the BCS’s tax-exempt status. Crap, The Solid Verbal may be next.

• Iowa WR Marvin McNutt will miss spring practice after having both shoulder and thumb surgery. I’m assuming an Iowa player missing time without the reason including the word “test” is a relief.

• The NFL Scouting Combine is ongoing. Here are some top performers. Surf around for all times. Man, I miss using the word “surf” when talking about the Interwebz.

• Miami AD Kirby Hocutt is leaving for the same position at Texas Tech. He blames his family. Harsh.

• The trees at Auburn’s Toomer’s Corner have a fightin’ chance. Now I’m imagining trees fighting each other, and it … is … AWESOME.

• Georgia RB Washaun Ealey has been reinstated after two weeks. Possibly the most crucial two weeks of the college football year.

• Want to know what’s going on with Penn State QB Rob Bolden and him possibly transferring? This video of him offers few answers.

• Maryland has new uniforms that may or may not look like tight racing jumpsuits.

• Florida State blog Tomahawk Nation takes a statistical look at 2010′s first-year defensive coordinators. East Carolina‘s got some ‘splainin to do. Or they’re just not good at the whole “defense” thing.

• Rivals looks at ten offseason offensive line storylines. That sentence was more difficult to type than I anticipated when I started.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the preview for Riverdale, a non-existant Archie movie.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=djRAiiFlCy8

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ronnie from Jersey Shore. I assume he’s pro Monmouth in the budding QB mixtape feud.

*****

• Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville received a raise of $500,000 — an upsetting detail to the school’s faculty members, who recently were forced to take pay cuts. And agree to comb Tuberville’s fine silver hair once a week. Excessive.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel speaks with former current UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has a primer for Stanford’s spring. It purports that QB Andrew Luck is competent. I’m taking a wait-and-see approach.

• Monmouth QB Alex Tanney put together his own trick throw mixtape and claims to be better than UConn QB Johnny McEntee. Can’t we settle this like the American Gladiators would — on an elaborate TV set? C’mon, like CBS College Sports doesn’t have a 30 minute block to fill at some point…

• The NCAA will try to understand “recruiting.” And not a moment too soon!

• Former Oklahoma RB and subject of “The Best There Never Was” Marcus Dupree is now a wrassler. This can only end well.

• SB Nation’s Andy Hutchins is slowly releasing his Top 25. The good news? Central Florida is still Central Florida.

• ESPN’s Chris Low previews the SEC East and the SEC West. And then Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never 3D. Snaps!!

• ESPN’s Ted Miller explains the home field tiebreaker for the new Pac-12 championship game. It’s exactly how you imagined it to be, unless you made the leap that I did, and imagined an elaborate lingerie game to settle it. <—Perv.

Miller also profiles new Colorado coach Jon Embree, who is “Colorado to the core.” I know this because the profile includes a picture of Embree standing in front of mountains. To the core!

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray suffered a minor ankle injury that will almost assuredly not affect his playing career at all.

• It’s the offseason, so that can only mean one thing for Penn State — DANCING!!

• Cal may wear white helmets for a game in 2011, just like Stanford always does. Draaaaaama!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a baby getting drunk and destroying a bar full of puppets. Because why not, right?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cds7lSHawAw

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Cameron Diaz, everyone’s new favorite popcorn dispenser. Diaz did not attend an institution of higher learning. I see nothing wrong with this.

*****

• Tennessee S Janzen Jackson “withdrew” from school to address personal issues. Vols coach Derek Dooley appears to expect him to be back at some point.

Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday examines the legacy of Lane Kiffin’s Tennessee class.

• UCLA rescinded its DC job offer to Rocky Seto after he posted the good news on Facebook. UCLA fans then rushed to create fake Rick Neuheisel accounts and post “I’m still the head coach!”

• Georgia RB Washaun Ealey is suspended from all team activities. (checks watch) Right on time.

• ESPN’s David Ubben speaks with Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville about Red Raider recruiting. Yes, it’s the offseason.

• Ohio State recruit Chris Carter will not be charged for fondling. Whew.

• Scout looks at which incoming freshmen could have the most dramatic immediate impact with their respective teams. You won’t believe this, but they all have five stars next to their names.

• Former Miami coach Randy Shannon will reportedly interview for the now-vacant DC job at Maryland. The right way.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the greatest slip n’ slide ever created. Its slipperiness allows you to slide. Brilliant!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF_OQuu3Ap0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Andy Staples to discuss recruiting wars in the SEC, the re-emergence of Florida State, and God’s Power Offor’s other profession.  Plus, a full boat of Verballer e-mails from the last few weeks.

Because it’s much easier to just list things than figuring out a cohesive narrative, I organized a chaotic National Signing Day into three thoroughly unoriginal categories.

The Good

Florida State
Certain words come to mind when looking at the players Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher signed, but I’ll go with “unfair.” Depth on both lines has been exponentially secured for years to come and speed has been added to both the offensive and defensive backfields to further load (all from FL) what looks to be the ACC Atlantic division favorite for years to come. Despite all of this, the first thing I think about? E.J. Manuel better not screw this up.

Isiah Crowell
What’s better than announcing your commitment to the big school in your home state (Georgia)? Doing it with a puppy, that’s what. Shrewd.

Urban Meyer
Here’s what we want from our analysts – homework, opinions, and an ability to articulate both of these things in a clear, concise manner. Urban Meyer intimately knew what he was talking about (having recruited most of the prospects he spoke of), took clear positions, and seemed natural doing so 4-5 hours into an all-day broadcast.

USC
There are a lot of reasons why USC is an attractive place to play – location, opportunity, academics, tradition, and exposure come to mind. I’m not sure the promise of development, college coaching success, and program stability fall into that list, which is why the Trojans nabbing ten Rivals 100 players is all the more impressive. Somebody smarter than I now needs to place all this potential in “Potential Transfers,” “Potential Troublemakers,” and “Potential Somehow Reached” columns.

DeAnthony Thomas
Come on, you had to be expecting this here.

This VW Commercial
I saw it yesterday, so it counts.

The Bad

Iron Bowl Pressures
Noted prospects Brent Calloway (OLB) and Cyrus Kouandjio (OT) struggled with their decisions between Alabama and Auburn (and possibly New Mexico or Iowa in Cyrus K’s case) to the point that Calloway had to go into hiding before announcing (Alabama) and Kouandjio developed a nervous tick and couldn’t sleep in the days leading up to Signing Day. I’m assuming the daily phone calls from coaches and ‘round-the-clock harassment from competing fanbases didn’t particularly help. Cut to Kouandjio, despite announcing for Auburn, not sending in his letter of intent, as he remains unsure.

Savon Huggins + Michael Eubank
Two dumb announcement strategies (Huggins to Rutgers, Eubank to ASU) — picking up a hat and either putting it on or almost putting it on before deciding to don another school’s headwear. Weak.

Rick Neuheisel
Go to UCLA. Walk around campus any time of the year. If Rick Neuheisel can’t attract (alleged) top football talent to either stay home in LA or come to LA anymore, he’s doing it wrong. Well, he’s doing it wrong.

Class Rankings
A constant focus of the coverage, even though it’s impossible to realistically compare one group to another when schools have such varying recruiting styles and needs. The silver lining here is almost everyone agreed on a mix of the three or five schools who brought in the most bountiful haul. Even CBS’s Tom Lemming finally put his long-known Notre Dame bias behind him and agreed that … oh jeez, did he really do this again?

License Plate Decisions
Todd Peat, a defensive tackle from Arizona, who by all means may be a terrific human being, chose Nebraska over Arizona State after spotting a Nebraska license plate in his home state, which he interpreted as a sign to choose the Huskers over the hometown Sun Devils. This begs the question — how did he not see Arizona plates in Tempe???

The Uncomfortable

A Different Chris Carter

Ohio State received one less letter of intent than expected after giant OL recruit Chris Carter was arrested for “sexual imposition,” allegedly lying to girls about measuring them for ROTC uniforms. Excuse me, THE “sexual imposition.”

Mitch Mustain, Amateur Pharmacist
Well, that ends that story. Mitch Mustain: Signing Day to Signing Day.

Hokeriguez
Rich Rodriguez took part in an interview of new Michigan coach Brady Hoke. I couldn’t have been the only one to hear the Curb your Enthusiasm theme in the back of my head while watching this, right?

*****
Follow me on Twitter at @Dan_Rubenstein.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brittany Snow, who is on some new NBC legal show. She has no alma mater. Two strikes, but I’m not sure I care.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles the nation’s richest non-bowl team.

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has cred coming out of his vest, yo.

• Everything you ever wanted to know about USC’s NCAA appeal.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers make up to-do lists for their respective conferences. Job #1 for the SEC? Finally stop being so bashful about showing conference pride.

• A Texas appeals court threw out Mike Leach’s breach of contract lawsuit against Texas Tech.

• TCU safeties coach Chad Glasgow is Texas Tech’s new defensive coordinator.

• 2 Live Crew’s Uncle Luke is the new DC at Miami Northwestern High School. This can only end well.

• Arkansas is building new facilities to the tune of $35 million. Woooooooo Piggggggg Players Lounge.

• The Wiz (now in full color Comic Sans!) has conference bowl records against the spread and straight up. Did I mention the Comic Sans?

• With National Signing Day around the corner, Scout has its final “Scout 300″ and Rivals its “Rivals 100.” Just know that by clicking around, you’re only further hurting the feelings of every poor kid that tried to block Jadeveon Clowney.

• Georgia received two blue chip commitments yesterday. They both seemed excited about the prospect of playing for a team with a disappointing ceiling.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features two cellists hammering out “Smooth Criminal.” Culture!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlVbEclPj4c

Enjoy your Friday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Pawnee, Indiana’s Ron Swanson. Back tonight! Which reminds me, I need breakfast.

*****

• Michigan QB Tate Forcier announced his transfer via Twitter, 140 characters at a time. And the release still isn’t nearly as entertaining as his brother’s transfer from UCLA. FACT.

• Wisconsin may lose their offensive coordinator Paul Chryst to Jim Harbaugh and the 49ers. This is now slow inching towards giant white offensive lineman porn.

• This year’s TCU-Boise State game may get moved from Fort Worth to Boise. Just because screw you TCU, that’s why.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart confirmed that former Louisville coach Steve Kragthorpe will take over as LSU’s offensive coordinator.

• A Mississippi State cheerleader appeared in Playboy and has now spoken about it with SB Nation. It’s all very exciting.

• QB Zach Mettenberger went to Georgia. Then he transferred. Now he’s going to LSU. And he looks like this.

• It’s the offseason, a perfect time for a refresher on EDSBS‘s Fulmer Cup rules and regulations.

• Texas Tech needed to drop one non-conference game to make room for a ninth Big 12 game, and, I hope you’re sitting down for this, they dropped a road game at TCU.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel spoke with Mike Leach and explains why Leach’s baggage (as long as it exists) will stand in the way of future employment.

• The Oregon cheerleaders shot a calendar. The Wiz has video.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Aziz Ansari’s version of the Parks and Recreation intro. I like this show.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by January Jones and the Golden Globes. And her appearance at some awards show last night.

*****

• LSU coach Les Miles turned downed Michigan for the second time and leveraged the interest to no raise and a smaller buyout. I stopped trying to understand all things LSU a long time ago.

• Former Iowa RB Adam Robinson apologized for his marijuana possession charges and wants back on the team. If all works out, I have the PERFECT house for him to rent.

• TCU OC Justin Puente is going to interview to fill the same position at LSU.

• … and so will former Louisville and Tulsa coach Steve Kragthorpe.

• Florida hired former 49er great Bryant Young to be a co-defensive line coach. He has almost no coaching experience, which almost always means coach Will Muschamp thinks he can recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit.

• Houston QB Case Keenum was granted a 13th year of eligibility.

• Tulsa named assistant Bill Blankenship their new head coach. Ok then.

• Tennessee RB David Oku is transferring. Ugh, an overrated 5-star RB leaving Tennessee after underachieving is sooooooooo 2010.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall laments Auburn’s post-Newton situation and ends up talking about chest hair.

• Georgia DE/OLB Justin Houston is skipping his senior year to play in the NFL. This comes after a number of Georgia players skipped various years in 2010.

• Is it too early to look at mock drafts? Probably, but here’s one from The Football Expert (aka the site of East Bay Greg, aka The Crown Prince of Backhanded Compliments).

• Auburn fans took pictures at Wal-Mart with stacks and stacks of Dr. Pepper cases. Oh, and what is probably a replica of the BCS national championship trophy. This makes me feel a little better, actually.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Ricky Gervais’s monologue from last night’s Golden Globes. It was so good, he’s already been asked not to return next year.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvHXzP2SpLA

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NBC News’s Chris Hansen, a proud Michigan State graduate who takes down pedophiles. I assume he was too busy trapping horrible people to watch the Capitol One Bowl. Speaking of pedophiles…

*****

• Charlie Weis is Florida’s new offensive coordinator. Brace yourself for eight solid months of people overanalyzing that sentence.

Oh and Seattle Seahawks DL coach Dan Quinn takes over the other side of the ball as Florida‘s defensive coordinator.

• UConn coach Randy Edsall is now Maryland coach Randy Edsall. It’s not a “splash hire” nearly as much as it is a leaf gently swaying in the wind before it delicately slides into place atop a silent pond.

• The team favored to win the Rose Bowl … won the Rose Bowl.

• Alabama got healthy and promptly beat up on Michigan State. Circle of life.

• New Pitt coach Mike Haywood is now former Pitt coach Mike Haywood (undefeated!) after he was charged with domestic violence.

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney has fired two offensive coaches after noticing that his team was sans football-moving abilities.

• Ohio St QB Terrelle Pryor has made an enemy in ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit. And that would be after Pryor received three moving violations in three shady loaner car deals. And a shady tattoo investigation. And breaking NCAA rules for selling jerseys and awards. Well played.

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden is joining Penn State QB Kevin Newsome on the transfer train. Prospects take note — it’s a good idea to actually take into account what type of offense is run at your school of choice.

• UConn RB Jordan Todman, the nation’s second leading rusher, declared for the NFL Draft. Sounds about right.

• UCF got a little punchy before during the on-field Liberty Bowl celebration.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have Orange Bowl previews, keys, and more!. Huzzah!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall channels his inner Jim Delaney in reviewing the Big 10‘s Saturday performance. It’s not pretty.

And then the real Jim Delaney channeled his inner Jim Delaney.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says Michigan‘s Gator Bowl performance against Mississippi State should spell the end of days for Rich Rodriguez.

• The Wiz has front pages from newspapers from around the country. I checked, he didn’t get any Beetle Bailey screencaps. Bah.

• BCS TV ratings are either amazing or horrible.

• If you attended the TicketCity Bowl, you probably had awesome seats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is polar bears playing with spy cameras. Obviously.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT0O2RyxnkY

Enjoy your Monday + Orange Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Alison Brie, who, with yesterday’s sponsor Gillian Jacobs, is stars on Community. And she’s on Mad Men. And … sorry, I lost my train of thought. Happy New Years!

*****

• North Carolina absorbed an admirable performance from Tennessee and Vol QB Tyler Bray, took advantage of a last-second clock reversal, and beat the Vols in two overtimes to win the Music City Bowl. So now we know that North Carolina is probably better than Tennessee. Yes!

• Washington cared and played well. Nebraska not so much. 19-7 Huskies.

• A throwaway touchdown celebration of a simple salute is basically everything that’s wrong with college football. And thus, Syracuse beats Kansas State.

• Army beat SMU. Lesson: Don’t invite teams to your bowl because you think they’ll sell tickets and be happy to spend the holidays at home. They won’t and they don’t.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James announced that he’ll return to the Ducks next year. When he heard the news, Jeff Tedford instinctively fell to the ground.

• Michigan QB Tate Forcier was ruled academically ineligible for the Gator Bowl. Note to future interviewees boasting about how hard it is to flunk out if you’re a football player: Just … don’t.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers get their previews and keys on:

Meineke Car Care — Keys … Preview

Chick-fil-A — Keys … Preview

Liberty — Keys … Preview

Sun — Keys … Preview

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel offers up his last mailbag of the year. If you enjoy depressing facts about bowl ticket guarantees, it’s the feel good column of the year.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck says he may stay in school. This actually seems plausible.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a series of feel-good “fails” from this past month. Injuries aplenty!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvqs0qr0Ulo

Enjoy your Friday + New Years + MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL!!!!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you, in honor of today’s Independence Bowl by “Broken Arrow,” the greatest of all the Air Force movies that happen to star John Travolta and Christian Slater of all time. Or the worst.

*****

• Last night, FIU beat Toledo 34-32 in the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl. The game involved a hook-and-ladder to save 4th and 17, a RB named “Adonis,” and enthusiasm from the broadcast team that can only be defined as “slightly above-average.”

FIU coach Mario Cristobol was pleased.

• Hawaii got killed by Tulsa Friday night in the Hawaii Bowl. Turnovers were prominently involved.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt suspended three players for the Liberty Bowl — RB Caleb King and two backups — for academic issues. Somehow, some way, the Liberty Bowl MUST GO ON.

• Georgia Tech plays Air Force in the Independence Bowl later today. They themselves will also be without three players for the first half (curfew infraction) and four others because of academic issues. Apparently in the state of Georgia, being academically ineligible for lower-level bowl games is the new black.

• ESPN also has keys and previews for tonight’s Independence Bowl. It’s all very exciting.

• Texas Tech DC James Willis may or may not be the new DC at Florida. But he probably is. I think. Ok, I have no idea.

• TCU and Wisconsin went to Disneyland. No report yet on which players got pineapple whips, the single best dessert to be had at The Happiest Place on Earth.

• A post Splash Mountain reaction from Wisconsin QB Scott Tolzien and TCU QB Andy Dalton. (via Dr. Sat)

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday ranks the best plays of the 2010 season. A good list, but a little too UCLA-heavy for my tastes.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nice collection of people getting injured due to snow and similar inclimate weather. Hilarity ensues.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAYexv4lnaY

Enjoy your Monday + Independence Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Navy alumnus David Robinson. How crazy is it that he both attended the Naval Academy AND is nicknamed “The Admiral”? Sometimes life just gets it right.

*****

• Boise State didn’t have much trouble with whatever it was that Utah became/always was. Now we can all look forward to an offseason filled with SEC fans once again labeling them as fraudulent and undeserving because they occasionally lose to a ranked team on the road. The horror!

• Boise State WR Austin Pettis passed it to himself. So there.

• Ohio State suspended six players for the first five games of 2011 for selling off their awards and rings. The names may sound familiar — Terrelle Pryor, Devier Posey, Dan Herron, Mike Adams, and Solomon Thomas.

• Temple has hired former Florida OC Steve Addazio to replace Al Golden as head coach. What? Oh right, they’re Temple.

• San Diego State is scheduled to play Navy tonight in San Diego’s Qualcomm Stadium for the Poinsettia Bowl. Oh and because of heavy rain for a week straight in southern California, Qualcomm Stadium is a kiddie pool. Fun!

• Soon to be former Florida coach Urban Meyer met with ESPN and did a little on-camera work yesterday. If he ends up there in some capacity, I expect one, and only one, fake laugh to be required in his contract.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson tells anybody who will listen what the keys are and what to watch for in tonight’s muddy Poinsettia Bowl. You can take her knowledge to the bank. Or the San Diego County Credit Union, as it were.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers select a team from their respective conferences that needs to “step up.” It’s only a normal “step up” demand, not a full-on “step up 2 the streets” situation.

• Soon to be former Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen wants to coach in 2011. The whole “2010 ACC Coach of the Year” thing is, at the very least, something that will only be seen on his resumé and cover letter.

• In preparation for El Paso’s Sun Bowl, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly confiscated the passports of his players, due to the proximity of Ciudad Juarez, the nearby Mexican border town whose biggest cultural highlight is still ruthless drug-fueled murder.

• Alabama is upgrading the facilities at the high school they’ll use to practice at in preparation for the Capital One Bowl. Oh and hey, look at that, the #1 safety prospect in the 2011 class (and Alabama commit) goes there. Rad.

• Georgia WR AJ Green denied a report that he’s already decided to forego his senior year and enter the NFL Draft. Which he definitely will do.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for Cedar Rapids, which looks to bring together Ed Helms, John C. Reilly, and State Senator Clay Davis.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJqFUWbITug

Enjoy your Thursday + muddy San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vanilla Ice. I have no idea if he’s a fan of Miami football and/or Randy Shannon, but I can no longer hear anyone say “A1A” without yelling out, “Beachfront Avenue!!!” so I’m sliding him in today.

*****

• TCU is joining the Big East and it will join in all sports (after the 2011-12 academic year). It’s about time -- Coach Gary Patterson can finally tell Texas kids they’ll get to play on Thursday nights in Piscataway, NJ. Where do I sign?

• Miami fired coach Randy Shannon and won’t hire Jon Gruden. Unless they will, which they almost certainly will not.

• Michigan AD Dave Brandon is yet to evaluate coach Rich Rodriguez’s performance, but will do so in about a month. Most important Insight Bowl ever?

• The newest BCS standings are out. Northern Illinois is ranked higher than Florida, Texas, USC, and Georgia.

• Florida DL coach and former Iowa State head coach Dan McCarney is the new head coach at North Texas. Always happy for a “Dan” getting hired.

• You know how Ty and have said that Nebraska‘s fanbase was probably the nicest, most respectful fan base in college football? Well, they’re no longer making the rest of us look bad anymore — I present to you … Nebraska psychopaths!!

• The American Football Coaches Association has an All-American team. I bet they also have delicious pot lucks, go-kart races, and crazy slumber parties with scary stories. Or I’m just imagining that. But yeah right, it’s pretty much true.

• Cal DL coach Tosh Lupoi was suspended for instructing a player to fake an injury against Oregon. Because position coaches going rogue and instituting an individual position game plan without consulting anyone else sounds complete plausible. Mr. Lupoi, here comes the bus, we’re just going to give you a light shove and be on our way.

• Indiana coach Bill Lynch was fired and is now just plain ol’ citizen Bill Lynch.

• Vanderbilt coach Robbie Caldwell will step aside now that his interim year has concluded. That sound you’re hearing is some very excited (or terrified) turkeys.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will fix the Gators by recruiting “tough” players. He then added, “What? Coach Addazio has a lot of heavy furniture that’s not just going to move itself out of the building.”

• USC coach Lane Kiffin explains how USC did what Tulsa couldn’t — lose to Notre Dame.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some especially powerful power rankings and particularly project-y bowl projections. Whatever, you try thinking of two different adjectives to use in a sentence.

• Oklahoma State CB Brodrick Brown played a little game against Oklahoma called “just the tip.” Oh wait, I see what I did there.

• Florida DB Dee Finley has some constructive criticism for Gator fans. And by “constructive,” I mean “thoroughly misspelled demands of mass suicide.”

• Oregon State DT Stephen Paea has power running through his veins. Oh and lots and lots of cortisone.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at new money in his newest College Football Overtime. ***Spoiler*** Texas is old money.

• The Wiz has the snapshots of the week. A disappointed fan in full-costume is featured, which is obviously the best kind of disappointed fan.

• An Auburn fan, celebrating the Tigers’ Iron Bowl win, tackled a snowman, and then did a dainty little celebration. I’m as surprised as you are. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, well, I really have no idea what is or what happens, but it’s right below this sentence.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC60iSTUmRE

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan break down a wild weekend that saw a monster upset by Nevada, a triumphant victory for Auburn, and a defining loss for Rich Rodriguez against Ohio State.  Plus, wackiness in the Big 12, closure in the ACC, and a host of listener Reverbs.

Ty and Dan deliver a super-sized episode, chock full of analysis for all the week’s biggest rivalries, listener e-mails and voice messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Billings, MT Mayor Tom Hanel. I needlessly insulted his fine town (below) and am thus making it up to him and his town here. Tom is the one with the mustache.

*****

• Ohio State president E. Gordon Gee doesn’t like Boise State or TCU and doesn’t think there should ever be a system to put them on equal footing, mostly because he thinks their schedules are undeserving. And as SI.com’s Andy Staples notes, Ohio State should be congratulated on their 59th ranked schedule, a whopping NINE spots ahead of Boise’s 68th.

• Former Ohio State LB Chris Spielman is shocked at how bad Michigan’s defense truly is, but likes QB Denard Robinson a lot. I think the combination of these two thoughts works out to a compliment.

• Colorado apparently thinks LSU Coach Les Miles is worth pursuing. Kind of sad when the fake long-shot rumor you’re floating to make yourself sound important involves Les Miles. I take that back — there’s nothing “kind of” about it.

• Nebraska DC Carl Pelini is sorry now, too.

• Who argues and makes a bigger spectacle of himself — Bob or Mike Stoops? The Wall Street Journal took the time to find out. It’s pretty close, but Mike’s facial-redness factor has really taken him to new heights.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell us what to watch and make some predictions. Here’s a guarantee: I predict there will be massive intestinally-driven DVR pausing across the country on Friday. Take that as you will.

• Here is this week’s regional ESPN/ABC map, so you can see what games are where. Residents of Billings, Montana — screwed again. The first time of course was simply having to be in BIllings, Montana. Actually, I take that back, it’s probably awesome in Montana. Now I feel bad. Here’s looking at you, Billings!

• GOOD NEWS: Eric LeGrand, the paralyzed Rutgers player, is breathing on his own and is not as paralyzed as he previously had been. Great things.

This news is essentially the opposite of any headline involving E. Gordon Gee.

• Clemson RB Andre Ellington is a game-time decision against South Carolina.

• Former Oregon coach and current ESPN broadcaster Mike Bellotti talks punt-blocking. PASSION!

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno will be back next year. Hey, Lavar Arrington isn’t going to coach himself.

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray says he’s pain-free (knee, sternum) and will be good to go against Georgia Tech Saturday night. The game plan remains unchanged — throw it up to #8.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart interviews TCU coach Gary Patterson. Patterson gives his Fort Worth food and bar recommendations. Ok, he doesn’t, but we need them, Verballers. Where you at?

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley plays in a completely fair and just way. Just ask his teammates.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter, fresh off his 4th strike suspension, should be reinstated for the Notre Dame game. Whew.

• USC QB Matt Barkley hasn’t been practicing, but hopes to play against Notre Dame. He’s already started locking onto his receivers a few days ahead of kickoff, so things seem promising.

• The New York Times is all up in Cecil Newton’s church business grill.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is SNL’s Jay Pharoah (not Natalie Portman) on Letterman. I think I’ve already posted a video of him, but good impressions are really hard to do and he’s going STRONG with Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, and President Obama.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQ4CoxiGrY

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Ty and Dan talk about LSU’s close call, Nebraska’s dud, a potential Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl, and the ongoing Dillon Baxter Experiment at USC.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Georgia State student Julia Roberts. Alabama may have the money, championships, tradition, and name recognition, but they don’t have the star of “Eat Pray Love.” Take that, Tide. Take that.

*****

• UCLA lost at Washington last night in a rather unimpressive showing. UCLA fans, much like Sammi Sweetheart, are DONE.

• Alabama mercilessly tickled first-year team Georgia State last night. Good for you, Alabama, finally standing up for the big guy.

• Due to safety issues, only one end zone will be used during Saturday’s Northwestern/Illinois tilt. This only adds to the rumors of an all-time QB and six-Mississippi count being instituted for the game. Here are similar jokes.

• Hawaii is probably becoming a Mountain West football school and joining something called the Big West in other sports. This appears to be the final nail in WAC Commissioner Karl Benson‘s “2010 Sportsman of the Year” coffin.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will be back in 2011. Apparently this is an actual story. Also an actual story — Appalachian State runs Urban Meyer’s offense … and plays Urban Meyer this weekend.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter was hospitalized for an “unspecified illness and dehydration.” We hope he has a speedy recovery from whatever it is that’s NEVER dehydration.

• Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen will be back next season coaching the Terps. I’ll file this under “Interesting CFB Story that isn’t Cam Newton/BCS,” as that’s where everyone else seems to be filing things.

• Boise State play Georgia at the Georgia Dome to open the 2011 season. Since it seems so far away, the only real effect this has is to remind me that there’s no Chick fil-A nearby. Thanks a lot, guys.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers select their conference’s best rivalry of the decade. Not a surprise to be found here.

• The Oregonian’s Ken Goe says Mike Bellotti can do a lot better than Colorado. Snap.

• Purdue DE Ryan Kerrigan is not a Nagurski Award finalist and this upsets CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd. Which isn’t nearly as bad as upsetting Ryan Kerrigan. You wouldn’t like Kerrigan when he’s angry.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel examines the coaches and ex-coaches that will be looked at for new jobs this offseason. Texas OC Greg Davis looks like the frontrunner for Calabasas High School‘s expected coordinator vacancy. Well, if he interviews well.

• SI’s JoePo likes JoePa. I’ve been waiting for so long to write that.

• Oklahoma has approximately 17 scholarship kickers and they don’t really like any of them. Oops.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a compilation of people introducing themselves. It’s better than my introduction implies.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEBIw0hHadk

Enjoy your Friday + College Football Saturday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Idaho governor Butch Otter, who, and it wouldn’t surprise you given the antics of the two most notable football teams in his state, ascended to his current position by simply targeting his opponents and then leading with his helmet. Politics as usual.

*****

Ty wrote his “Thursday Proverbs” column. Read it here and read it NOW. Or, depending on the speed of your Internet connection, a few seconds from now.

• Fox Sports acquired the rights to the first six Big Ten title games. It sounds like win-win — the game and league get the exposure of network TV and viewers get The Best Damn Title Game, complete with a broadcast duo (typically) unfamiliar with calling a college game, and some sort of dancing cartoon representative. We Are. Fox Sports!

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd writes about Cam Newton and the Heisman. Because there’s nothing else to talk about in college football. To be fair, though, it’s both preachy and stale.

• Somebody named “blueTunaTiger” writes thousands of unsupported, unverified words on an LSU message board theorizing on a possible Cam Newton conspiracy theory. As soon as CBS Sports updates the Week 6 fantasy numbers, I’d be fine with them running this.

• Colorado and former Colorado coach Bill McCartney have made contact with each other. Aw, how cute.

• Oregon DB Cliff Harris chose the Ducks because they wear green, and “money be green.” That’s some unassailable logic — I got nothing.

• According to a Cal blogger, Stanford QB Andrew Luck is excellent at college football. I’m actually a bit surprised the writer went through with the blog post and didn’t fake a finger cramp to get out of it.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers tell you and me what to watch this weekend. All reasonable requests until SEC blogger Chris Low vouched for a “Teen Mom” marathon.

And like every other week, they also make predictions.

• For those of you reading this in the 70+ demo, ESPN’s Ivan Maisel remembers a simpler time for Army-Notre Dame at Yankee Stadium. So smoke your Lucky Strikes, fire up your Glenn Miller album, and read it on your magic, futuristic computer doohickeys.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag. If I had recited that sentence out loud and you couldn’t read the word “mail,” it could’ve meant something quite different. And it would’ve been a medical breakthrough.

• A booster and failed banker oversees Auburn’s athletic budget. Good to know.

• Idaho S Shiloh (Shiloh!) Keo tried to decapitate back-up Boise State QB Mike Coughlin and has been suspended for the first half of the Vandals’ game against Utah State.

• A potential NFL lockout will influence Georgia WR A.J. Green‘s early entry decision. “Me too,” Florida QB John Brantley added. “Me too.”

But sadly, there is no joy in Gainesville, mighty Addazio has struck out.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Cowboys vs Aliens.” You might not even need to watch the trailer to get the gist of it, but since it appears that a lot of money and big names were poured into this, it’s probably worth your two and a half minutes.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKzfMGHdrHE

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Farley (Marquette ’86), who is WAY funnier than Nick Fairley. He also wears little coats in a much more convincing fashion.

*****

• Auburn pulled away late from Georgia to remain undefeated. Both The Wiz and SportsbyBrooks have irrefutable video evidence that Auburn DT Nick Fairley would be satisfied if and only if Aaron Murray was unable to walk until scientific advancements allowed him to do so. Oh and his drive to injure only kicked in when Murray was far out of the play and defenseless.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt will not be the next Colorado coach. Or maybe he will, who knows.

• Three Southern Miss players were shot in a nightclub and subsequently hospitalized. They remain in fair condition.

• TCU offensive line coach Eddie Williamson suffered a heart attack in the first quarter of Saturday’s game against San Diego State. Actually, while we’re at it, will somebody check on Prolate Spheroid Sam?

• Due to concerns over head injuries, Texas RB Tre’ Newton has decided to give up football. Probably the smartest move he’ll ever make. Godspeed.

• Boise State MLB Byron Hout is out for the remainder of the year after breaking a foot against Idaho.

• Illinois plays Northwestern at Wrigley Field this week. It’s a game the BCS would rather you not care about, as it’ll be interesting to watch just because it’ll be interesting to watch. Here’s what one of the end zones looks like. Deliberate human injury seems so likely that it’s already been nicknamed “The Nick Fairley Side.”

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have conference race updates. Not too interesting, but we’re throwing our support behind Syracuse in the Big East. Not that we can actually see the games, but we’re all in on Doug Marrone. So in the spirit of Ty’s recent reverse jinx success … Go Pitt!

Oh, and there’s also power rankings, which aren’t nearly as cool as our soon-to-be-created Thunderskull Rankings. Which would you rather read? Exactly.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new College Football Overtime. You probably thought you were just getting Regulation Mandel, and then, WHAM, overtime!!

• The AP’s Ralph Russo is exhausted by the BCS. Perhaps the column of the weekend.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of inspirational speeches from movies. It’s only two minutes long, but whoever’s in the next cubicle over is DONE.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wRkzCW5qI

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan go through all the Week 11 action and break down Oregon’s close win on the road against Cal.

Ty and Dan analyze the latest on the Cam Newton situation in light of recent comments by purported associate Kenny Rogers.  Plus, e-mails, voice messages and Week 11 picks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michigan alumnus James Earl Jones. I don’t know how he feels about mgoblog’s general support of Rich Rodriguez, but I felt like posting a picture of the most famous Jones-voiced role, Darth Vader, and thus, I did. Oh and the second most famous would obviously be Mustafa from the Lion King. Another time, Verballers.

*****

• The Big East unanimously voted to become a 10-team football conference. It’s noted that the “obvious” choice is Villanova, while the sneaky pick would, of course, be Alabama.

• Mississippi State DE Nick Bell tragically passed away Tuesday after battling cancer. Thoughts, of course, are with anyone and everyone that knew Bell.

• The Nittany Lion has been dismissed. Or at least the guy inside of him. Wait, that sounded wrong. Ok, I’ll stop.

• LSU Freek checks in with a Bama Hell March. It’s great fun. (via EDSBS)

• Tony Barnhart of CBS Sports and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution thinks Georgia DC Todd Grantham should be suspended for his choke gesture. I have no opinion, other than amazement at the fact that Tony Barnhart is six yards wide in his photograph.

• MGoBlog’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) presents the “Tenuous Case for Keeping Rich Rodriguez.”

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has QB updates on Penn State, Purdue, and Indiana. Whew.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson echoes an email that currently sits in the Avery Labels Inbox (first product I saw) — Hawaii is playing extremely well (7-2. 5-0, 6 W in a row) and their game at Boise State this weekend should be ginormous.

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez should be good to go for Iowa State on Saturday. Those of you with the most neutral accents should be pleased.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin may have overreacted and pressed a bit when Oregon started scoring quickly. It’s nothing to be ashamed of — every first-time PS3/XBOX gamer does the same thing.

Kiffin also, according to RB Marc Tyler, may have single-handedly lost the game for the Trojans. Woops.

• Fox Sports’s Lisa Horne reviews some under-the-radar players. Keep in mind that Ty and I have already discussed most of these guys over the course of the season, but I always enjoy seeing SDSU RB Ronnie Hillman and WSU WR Marquess Wilson get some lurve.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s George Schroeder (SVBFF) talks to former Oregon coach Rich Brooks about the Ducks’ climb to the top of the college football mountain.

• You’re not going to believe this, but in the coincidence of all coincidences, a Boise State player is being accused of a cheap shot. I know, right? Crazy.

• Following a concussion to Miami QB Jacory Harris, (freshman) QB Stephen Morris is the probable starter for the Canes against Maryland on Saturday.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is John Wall doing the “Dougie.” I have no idea why I like this dance so much, but I do. The dream scenario is getting a “Dougie” video from Doug Flutie. Make it happen!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pry6Cp0kSO0

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Filipino boxer Manny Pacquio, who fights Antonio Margarito this Saturday night. He’s also a former student at Notre Dame of Dadiangas (General Santos City), and readily admits that this may be the all-time low point for Brian Kelly and the program. Also, if you cheat and look down at the Video of the Day and compare the two items to yesterday’s Chorus sponsor, you’ll notice SYNERGY.

*****

• Florida coach Urban Meyer dismissed a notable true freshman safety. Doorknob. Damn, too late.

• CBS Sports’s Tony Barnhart dissects the intricacies of the schedules, philosophies, and status of Boise State, TCU, and Utah. Or it’s just more SEC rhetoric. One of the two.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall reviews some of the nation’s defenses, and does so with pictures of Howard Schnellenberger and a Dunlop tire. Just because.

• A mutual strength of TCU and Utah, the two Mountain West powers playing each other Saturday, is special teams. Especially since Utah fired noted special teams coach Muffy Muffington.

• Washington QB Jake Locker has a broken rib and will not suit up against Oregon on Saturday.

ESPN’s Ted Miller looks at the rest of the Pac-10 QBs and then points out that Washington is in a “tough spot” without their own starter. It should be noted that Mr. Miller graduated Summa Cum Laude from Obvious State.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rewind and fast forward. And then hit the On-Demand button for some private time.

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez has a sprained ankle — not a bone bruise as was earlier thought. You can sprain his ankle, but you can’t sprain his freeeeeeedommmmmm!!!! Sorry, it’s early.

• An Auburn fan who definitely does not look like a kidnapper covers Paul Simon, but with Cam Newton lyrics. Yep.

• The Georgia coaching staff stays classy. Reggie Miller is cool with this.

• Arkansas WR Greg Childs is done for the year after suffering a patella tendon injury.

• The ad wizards at ESPN, Holly Anderson (Peete) at SB Nation, and SI.com’s Cory McCartney do some Heismaning.

• Vanderbilt RB Warren Norman (and valued double first-namer) is out of the year after dislocating his wrist.

• If Nebraska safety Courtney Osborne wanted to offer Missouri QB Blaine Gabbert a congratulatory head-butt, he did it the wrong way. Missouri coach Gary Pinkel is a bit perturbed.

• ESPN’s Pat Forde continues to analyze teams and matchups by feel instead of research. He’s like an old, weathered sea captain who’s average at being a sea captain.

• Tennessee QB Tyler Bray is now starting for the Vols. It’s worth noting that the top of his back looks like a dressing room entrance. File that.

• Yahoo!!!!!! ranks top 25 players by position.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Land of the Lost’s Will Ferrell singing John Lennon’s “Imagine” with Manny Pacquiao on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Nothing more to add.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT4hHMIpnjU

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan get together on Halloween and recap the Week 9 action, including solid road wins by Oregon and Auburn and tough road losses for Michigan State and Missouri.

Dan flies solo (what does this meeeeeean?) and lines up a fierce triple play of college football guests with Clay Travis from AOL Fanhouse, Brian Cook from MGoBlog.com, and friend of the show and House of Run podcast host “West Coast Kevin.”

Ty and Dan talk about Mizzou’s big win, the rise of Auburn, and Navy’s dismantling of Notre Dame. Plus, Verballers ReVerbs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alum and Academy Award winning composer John Williams. It truly does speak to the man’s talent how much better UCLA game film appears to be when the Indiana Jones theme is played simultaneously.

*****

• UCLA plays Oregon tonight. Bruin fans are pretty confident. In Oregon’s abilities to destroy them without mercy.

Duck fans are happy to stomp some weasel, because, you see, we’ve altered Rick Neuheisel’s name to read “Neu-weasel” because of his weasel-y tactics while at Colorado and Washington. They don’t call Eugene, OR the birthplace of modern comedy … at all.

• TCU coach Gary Patterson, on the sideline of the SMU game last month, went after the team doctor who told him that star RB Ed Wesley had a concussion. The word “hero” is thrown around too much these days, but this story really makes you sit back and realize that the first part of this sentence has nothing to do with anything.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers college football mail. I wonder if he has a name for his readers/fans like we do with “verballers.” I suppose I could just ask him myself, but I’d rather just pontificate here. The obvious choice is, of course, calling them “fandels,” but I’ll let the process work itself out organically.

• Heralded (get it?) Miami freshman safety Latwan Anderson left the football team to concentrate on track and field, his actual scholarship sport. He appears to be done with football, and to be fair, it can’t be a coincidence that this is happening just as the House of Run podcast is blowing up.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers make their predictions for the weekend and focus in on what to watch. And then, they teach you how to get some killer splash action.

• Illinois DT Corey Liuget (pronounced LEGIT) was homesick. So Liuget told his mom, “I think I’m going to come ba-” and his mom was all like, “uh uh” and he was all like, “but…” and then she was all like, “uh uh.” And now he’s breaking people into multiple parts if they happen to linger in the offensive backfield. Legit.

• UConn QB Cody Endres has been suspended for the remainder of the season for an “undisclosed violation of school policy.” Just the price you pay when you steal the mascot from those jerks at Valley High.

Ittttt’s alllllright, cuz I’m Saved by the Bell! (piano)

• The Big 10 crown will be decided on the field in in Iowa City. Where the grass is green and the girls are … eh, not bad.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) runs down the goings-on in the world of non-AQ-ville. Because somebody has to.

• Texas A&M University President Dr. R. Bowen Loftin, well, just taught you how to Dougie.

• Syracuse fans raised enough money (with some left over) to bring 32 kids from the local Boys and Girls club to an Orange game — complete with shirts, food, and other goodies. Very cool. Your move, every other team.

• The recruiting class of 2011 was cool… in like 2008. 24/7 Sports (247 Sports?) has released their list of the Top 247 members of the class of 2012.

• Florida WR Chris Rainey may play next weekend when the Gators take on Georgia in “The World’s Largest Outdoor Formerly Meaningful Game.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of Legos in cool places. Because Legos are pretty awesome. Duh.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Ty and Dan do their first show since meeting face-to-face in Lincoln, Nebraska and rehash VerbaCon 2010 as well as the other action during Week 7.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by proud Minnesota resident, Prince. There’s no indication that he pays any attention to the Golden Gophers and their recent dismissal of Tim Brewster, but perhaps the Gophers can turn their disappointing season around by purifying themselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

*****

• Rutgers defensive tackle Eric LaGrand was paralyzed during the Scarlet Knights’ game against Rutgers. It’s an unimaginable horror, so if you’re so inclined, do send him your well wishes.

• Minnesota coach Tim Brewster was relieved of his duties (heh, duties) after the Gophers’ loss to Purdue. But not before receiving another extensions. Gopher up!

• Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett suffered a concussion during Saturday’s loss to Auburn. Even though his “symptoms are improving,” Arkansas fans are still using the Freedom of Information Act to get the doctor’s license plate number and Facebook password. Just because.

• BCS standings are out. Unless you host a terrible sports radio show and need to fill 4-5 hours, this probably doesn’t affect your life.

Ok, it affects Dr. Jerry Palm’s life and we like Dr. Jerry Palm.

• ABC’s Brent Musberger kinda/sorta mentioned Spencer Hall’s blog on the air. We of course would welcome “The Verbally Solid” casually referenced at any point, but only on BYU-TV — wouldn’t want our site flooded or anything.

• A Texas fan documented his trip to Lincoln, NE for the Nebraska game, but only used MS Paint to do so. I love this so much.

Warning: There are cartoon penises.

Related: Taylor Martinez is still the starter at Nebraska, at least for this week.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers take a look at the conference races and issue their weekly power rankings. Once done with those, the group stepped aside and let Big 12 specialist David Ubben take the stage and rock an acoustic Earth, Wind, and Fire cover. Groove it.

• ESPN has some bowl projections. Should both teams win enough, I’m excited to see how Alabama/TCU gets avoided.

• Cal fan and Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz wasn’t too optimistic before Saturday’s USC game. See, you can never let white guy dreads fool you, some of those guys pay attention to, you know, stuff.

• The new UGa loves some giant bags of ice.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel chimes in with his College Football Overtime.

Solid Verbal Behind the Scenes: Stew was a welcome guest into the world of Saturday’s Verbacon celebration in Lincoln. He enthusiastically chatted up Husker fans with us, dropping some knowledge bombs, and withstood a personal space assault from large, well-meaning Husker fan who couldn’t recommend Armen Katayen’s book enough.

Here are some SI.com pictures of Saturday’s action.

• Kentucky Everything Randall Cobb isn’t a fan of the fans.

• A referee during the Florida/Mississippi State game ruled a field goal good and then didn’t. That about covers it.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a first person view of what it’s like to parachute into Michigan Stadium. This is probably cool if you enjoy heights. In my case, let’s just say my feet are sweatier than they were before I started watching this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnJX2FiW-ik

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by wife of Howard Stern, bulldog enthusiast, and former Pitt student Beth Ostrosky. I’ll bet she’s much more excited about the new UGa than the prospects of Tino Sunseri winning a close game with his arm.

*****

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers may return next year or he may not. It’s mid-October, his knee is pointing in four and a half different directions, let’s relax a bit.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel inner monologues Ohio State’s claim to be #1 in his new mailbag. You can also listen to Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel on Stewart’s (competing) podcast. If Stewart wasn’t an all-around good dude, frequent guest, and VERBACON ATTENDEE, we’d totally bury his efforts at new media. We run this town.

Oh and here’s a book excerpt.

• Former Texas QB (most appropriately-named Texas QB ever?) Colt McCoy will get his #12 jersey retired by Texas. The way that offense is looking, it might not be a bad idea to also dip it in gold, bedazzle it with rare diamonds, and get it blessed by the most hard-to-reach Nepalese monks.

• This Saturday will mark the debut of Georgia’s new bulldog mascot, Uga VIII. His background is fairly quaint -- his registered name is “Big Bad Bruce,” he’s the great (x5) grandson of the original UGa, and he’s wanted on 17 outstanding warrants.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers remind you what to watch and make some predictions. I bet you didn’t predict they’d also lead a Hammer dance flash mob, did you?

• Oregon State kicker Justin Kahut hates the crap out of Arizona Stadium. Fair enough.

• A couple is traveling to Lincoln, NE from Bangkok to go to the Nebraska/Texas game Saturday. As impressive as that is, don’t think I won’t complain if my flight from LA is delayed 34 minutes. Oh, and if you see them roaming around a tailgate, do give them beer or some sort of sustenance.

• Here is how SBNation bloggers feel the Top 25 should look. Lot of good explanation and defenses, but like always, numbers with taken to two decimal places always throw me off.

• Three Mountain West replay officials have been suspended for blowing a call (horrifically) during the BYU-San Diego State game last weekend. Seems people don’t like it that San Diego now has both a decent college football team AND San Diego.

Oh and the “technical advisor” in the replay booth is a BYU employee. I wasn’t too invested before, now I’ll be disappointed if TCU doesn’t win by at least 73 this weekend.

• USC WR Robert Woods may now be USC Slash Robert Woods, as the speedy receiver has been taking reps as a defensive back. In addition, if he really put his mind to it, he could also probably be athletic enough to challenge us in the Solid Verbal Combine. Probably.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is evidence of my last journey to Lincoln. If this weekend even approaches that day (short of the Huskers’ loss to USC), I may never leave. Nebras!!!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDE2LVqsK04

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by random tailgating UTEP bros. I assume because UTEP’s nickname is the Miners, these guys are extra-stoked about what’s going on in Chile.

*****

• Notre Dame TE Kyle Rudolph is out for the remainder of the year after undergoing surgery to repair tendon injuries to his hamstring. Don’t worry, the Irish will just plug in another highly-touted guy in his place and keep on steamrolling teams for a quarter and a half before torturously slowing down and letting their opponent back into the game.

• Georgia RB Caleb King, who was arrested for failing to appear at court for a speeding ticket, has been suspended for two games. Once he reveals his Bulldog Arrest Punch Card, Richt will be eating free sandwiches FOR LIFE.

• Some of Florida‘s recruits aren’t happy with the offense. Oh good, they’ll fit in swimmingly with Gator fans.

• ESPN’s Gregg Easterbrook addresses the execution speed of Oregon’s “blur” offense. ***SPOILER*** I enjoyed it.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel talks with CBS’s Will Brinson about his new book, “Death to the BCS.” The book is released tomorrow. I imagine a healthy number of Notre Dame fans don’t care.

• This week’s Sports Illustrated cover story is a former NFL agent, Josh Luchs, detailing (with SI’s George Dohrmann) the process of signing and courting college football players. Hint: It involved cash money. And Janet Jackson tickets.

• I’m quite excited for Verbacon in Lincoln, NE this weekend. This song makes me a little less excited.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Sesame Street’s Grover doing the Old Spice thing. Works for me.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkd5dJIVjgM

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by proud LSU alumnus James Carville, who, if he had hair, would probably still be tearing it out watching Les Miles’s time management on Saturday. Also, airport scanners can go measure his penis.

*****

• Former UNC coach John Blake, who allegedly helped steer notable (and suspended) Tar Heel players toward Gary Wichard, a friend of Blake’s, also contacted players from Alabama and South Carolina regarding Wichard’s services. Remember, North Carolina fans, they can take away football, basketball may stink, John Edwards may be a complete fraud, but you’ll always have, uh, let’s see … vinegar based BBQ sauce?

• College football is painful. A lot of people get hurt. Here are some of them.

Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor mildly strained his left leg. He should be fine.

Boston College QB Chase Rettig sprained his left ankle and is, as of now, doubtful for NC State this Saturday.

Oregon State WR James Rodgers should be back against Arizona this week after sitting out due to a previous concussion.

USC FB Stanley Havili played with a dislocated shoulder against Washington. Seems painful.

(Injury reports from everywhere else.)

• Georgia WR AJ Green is still quite good, despite those around him. That jersey looks FRESH.

• BYU defensive coordinator Jaime Hill, after BYU became the third best team in the state of Utah, has been eliminated. Ok, that verb may have been too much. Still, though, it sends a message.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin defends attempting a field goal instead of aggressively trying to keep a drive alive. I think it worked out for everyone.

• ESPN‘s CFB bloggers gave out helmet stickers, figured out what they learned, organized power rankings, and examined how to properly cut sushi-grade tuna. Ok the last one may be somebody else, but it’s still incredibly useful.

• This week’s polls are out. Hurray! Find out who you can direct your irrational anger at by looking at the voters in the meaningless poll.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel reviews the action in his College Football Overtime column. It includes a picture of LaMichael James, who appears to be levitating. Rad.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples makes some snap judgements. Because in football, “snap” is a term for when … ok, you get it.

• A couple of ESPN writers predict bowl matchups in early October. Pour out some cold milk for your homies at BYU, who will be missing the Las Vegas Bowl for what feels like the first time since the school was founded.

• Fox Sports columnist Thayer Evans argues that the Mike Sherman era should come to a close at Texas A&M.

• In Oregon Duck news, Fox Sports goes way out on a limb and says it’s time to take the #3 team in the country seriously. Done and done.

Also, the Duck dougie’d. Somebody taught him.

• SB Nation went Box Scorin’. Wait, that sounded wrong. Or so very right.

• The Wiz presents some screengrabs from Saturday’s action. All excellent, but it’s quite difficult to capture how inept Penn State’s offense truly was in a single frame.

Today’s Video of the Day is part 1 of Steve Nash and Landon Donovan preparing to play FIFA 11. If you like boom mic comedy, today’s your day.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEb1iV3o4bc

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan plow through voice messages and emails before previewing the first slate of October games in the 2010 college football season.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ty Burrell of Modern Family (on tonight). Beyond Burrell being an Oregon native and Duck fan, his character even referenced the 1995 Rose Bowl beatdown at the hands of Penn State, where he attended grad school. Weird. Thanks Wikipedia!

*****

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) likes Terrelle Pryor to take home the Heisman. The Heisman Pundit does not.

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly received a six year extension, which pays him about $2.4 million a year through 2015. I was this close to linking a Dido song to best express how I felt upon hearing the news, but I held back. Or did I?

• Georgia WR AJ Green, who has been suspended for four games and will make his debut against Colorado this week, first became a person of interest  due to an inaccurate report from TMZ. Honestly, if you can’t trust the integrity of a bunch of dudes with no-lens hipster glasses wearing $93 used t-shirts saying things like, “We have Harrison Ford leaving Koi…”, who can you really turn to? (via Dr. Saturday)

• The Big East wants TCU. And TCU was all like, “Oh hey, that’s, wow, I mean thank you, but you know, I’ve got plans already. Dang.”

• Boise State RB DJ Harper is out for the year with a torn ACL. While they’ll tell you it happened during the Oregon State game, you can never rule out foul play from Boise State safety Jeron Johnson, who WILL NOT REST until he’s the only healthy player on the field. No ACL is safe!!!

• Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio will be back coaching the Spartans this Saturday -- but from the booth against Wisconsin. If Michigan State doesn’t pull away and end it early against the Badgers, thereby limiting any possible tension, it’s almost like they hate their own coach’s well-being. Think about it.

• Boise State has a dog that retrieves the tee after kickoffs. Everyone thinks it’s a pretty cute new little tradition. Everyone… BUT JERON JOHNSON!!

• The Wiz has videos of various CFB cheap shots. The rocky mountain region really seems to like unabashedly injuring people.

• North Carolina State is 4-0. Just thought we needed a reminder.

Today’s Video of the Day is a Durex commercial. Durex: The Official Prophylactic of Today’s College Football Links.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyahoTR1Otk

Enjoy your Wednesday. But not too much, horndogs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Longhorn alumnus (and film director) Wes Anderson, who was probably far too busy figuring out the perfect font for an extra’s blazer to watch Texas wilt against UCLA in the Texas sun.

*****

Walking Wounded

• It’s football, people get hurt. Here are some of the more well-known victims:

Purdue QB Robert Marve is undergoing an MRI on his left knee after an injury against Toledo.

Ole Miss DE Kentrell Lockett is out for the year after tearing his ACL. Plenty of time for Twitter, though.

Oregon State WR James Rodgers suffered a concussion against Boise State and his status is still unknown.

Michigan QB Denard Robinson hurt his knee against Bowling Green, but is likely to play this week at Indiana.

Moving on,

• Georgia LB Demetre Baker was kicked off the team after he was charged with DUI. It was the tenth Georgia arrest this year, earning Mark Richt a large sub at the “What the Hell Happened to Georgia?” deli.

• ESPN’s College Football Gameday will be in Eugene, OR this week for Oregon’s game against Stanford. CB Cliff Harris will be there, per usual, locking shit down.

• EDSBS’s Holly Anderson (or as I sometimes refer to her in my head, Holly Anderson Peete), grades out the week in college football with children’s stickers. Completely appropriate. **Cough** Big 10 **Cough**.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers put forth their conference power rankings and what they each learned this weekend. Not a lot of people know that each of the bloggers wears decoder rings, and when they put them together, they expect something cool to happen, but it’s just a bunch of bloggers sticking decoder rings in the air waiting for something cool to happen. It looks weird.

• This week’s actual rankings are also out. Here are the people that are doing their best to make this bullet point irrelevant.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach is On the Mark. Because that’s the name of his column. I’m still not sure if I’m going with “Dan Coverage” or “Dan Overboard” for my future punny column. Either way, “TyBreakers” will be outstanding.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel is excited for Week Five in his College Football Overtime.

Today’s Video of the Day is the music video for “Home” by LCD Soundsystem. It can’t be found on XM’s pop station and it’s kind of long, but I still like it anyway. I don’t know if it’s safe for work, but it may be weird for work. I hope this doesn’t make me a dirty hipster.

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan replay all the Week Four action, including impressive wins by SEC teams, letdown showings by the Big 12, and the dawning of a special new Big Ten tradition.

Ty and Dan make their picks for all the Week Four action and discuss Vegas as a possible location for a Pac-12 title game, suspicious BCS finances, and a host of Verballer messages.

Ty and Dan talk about a wild evening slate of Week 3 games and dissect all the other action from Saturday.

Ty and Dan delve into the news of the week, their previews for the big games of Week 3, listener messages, more random thoughts about creepy owls, and an uncomfortable theory about To Catch A Predator.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Hootie and the Blowfish, who met at the University of South Carolina. Apparently, they’re sports fans, so I’m assuming they’re already writing “The Ballad of Weslye Saunders.” If they’re still together. Really, I have no idea and don’t care enough to do even five seconds of research.

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• South Carolina TE Weslye Saunders has been dismissed from the football team, presumably because of his involvement in a still-active NCAA investigation regarding a hotel stay and a relationship with an agent. I think it’s time Saunders took some time to learn the meaning of the words on the back of those military-honoring jerseys from last season. God, the word “duty” never stops being funny.

• ESPN‘s bloggers, who apparently only require press box hot dogs and home webcams for survival, roll out predictions and what to watch for this weekend. Weslye Saunders did not make either list.

• The Wiz is double-dipping with goodness -- he has Solid Verbal BFF Stewart Mandel on his podcast (and Stew even has his own podcast!), and he also has video of some Leach-isms from Mike Leach’s first announcing assignment. I learned that Leach enjoys “Hells Bells.” No argument here, unless Leach is inspired to the point of wearing Angus Young shorts. Those make me uncomfortable.

• Pitt MLB Dan Mason has been demoted to the defense’s second team in the wake of his hit-and-run accident with now suspended RB Jason Douglas, who was charged with a DUI. The Panthers next play Miami next Monday, putting Mason’s surefire Jacory Harris interception into considerable doubt. Sad.

• Georgia WR AJ Green will be appealing his NCAA suspension tomorrow. Lucky for Green, Chris Hawkins, the gentleman who purchased Green’s game-worn jersey, was arrested for pot and cocaine (smeared with peanut butter and pepper) possession. I’ll never understand the south, I’ll just smile, continue eating their BBQ, and move on.

• Auburn may reveal some new blue helmets and pants for Saturday’s Clemson game. I’m not impressed. If TCU can add a frozen theme and Virginia Tech can add Tron, Auburn needs to do something to one-up -- I suggest polishing the helmets in real tiger’s milk. Do it, Chizik.

• Alabama RB Mark Ingram should play this week against Duke after sitting out the past two weeks recuperating from knee surgery. A bunch of guys with generous bangs are pumped.

• Notre Dame QB Dayne Crist has declared himself 100% healthy for this weekend’s Michigan State game. And here I was worried that Crist wouldn’t be able to fully contribute to Ty’s week three fantasy loss against the SLC Punk. Wrong-o!

Today’s Video of the Day is the coke scene from Annie Hall, which I’m positive AJ Green jersey-buyer Chris Hawkins has never seen.