Ty and Dan are joined by Spencer Hall from Every Day Should Be Saturday to break down the Big Ten’s playoff proposal, the first year of the Will Muschamp era, dealbreakers on the imaginary recruiting trail, and the “Sabanizing” of college football.

Ty and Dan settle into postseason mode by discussing the latest news, running through an early 2012 top five, reading a compelling argument for the BCS, outlining the brilliance of the Paul Finebaum Show, and doing their best to win back a longtime Verballer.

Ty and Dan break down the impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, Michigan’s triumph over Ohio State, the Heisman credentials of Montee Ball, UCLA’s march to Pac-12 South glory, and all the other action from Rivalry Week.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan talk with Spencer Hall about Will Muschamp’s early marks, LSU-Alabama, the Big Ten, “We” Bombs, and a college football version of The Truman Show.  Plus, picks for all the big action during Week Eight.

Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Ty and Dan welcome Bruce Feldman back to the show to discuss Clemson’s ceiling, the looming LSU-Alabama showdown, Urban Meyer-to-Penn State rumors, the misunderstood Mike Gundy, and a host of other hot topics in college football.  Plus, your e-mails and voice messages, and a Week 7 Preview.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Ty and Dan make their Week 6 Picks, talk about Missouri’s potential move to the SEC, discuss Michigan’s defense, and debate whether Clemson is 2010 Auburn in disguise.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Milhouse van Houten, who may no longer exist after the spring. More like Thrillhouse, amiright?

*****

• Alabama and LSU haven’t even played once yet and CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders if they could play again in the BCS National Championship. He sees things.

• USC‘s defense is good to go, says coordinator possibly not watching USC games.

• ESPN B1G blogger Brian Bennett believes in Michigan, or at least offers reasons as to why you should.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff and UCLA’s Rick Neuheisel are headed in “different directions.”

• The trailer for a new ESPNU documentary about the first SEC Championship game. Looks pretty excellent actually.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says the Big 12 should just let Mizzou go to greener, more SEC-like pastures.

• Staples also has power rankings in the tune of Star Wars. Yep.

• LSU CB Tyrann Mathieu is down with his “honey badger” nickname. Of course he is.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the new iPhone announcement, but in 90 easy seconds. This should be how life works always.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgnSuRxPQG8

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Ty Hildenbrandt and Dan Rubenstein take a closer look at impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, poke fun at Texas A&M’s pass defense, and devise a diabolical scheme to fix South Carolina’s quarterback problem. Plus, another batch of listener Reverbs and another tale of Nick Foles’ performance… in a losing effort, of course.

Ty and Dan plod through more cumbersome talk of conference realignment and play through Verballer voice messages before previewing week 4 and putting a double-jinx on Saturday’s Florida State-Clemson game.

Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Christine Taylor, Allentown PA native. She’s also, by my count, the only person to ever appear in “Hey Dude,” “Zoolander,” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Amazing.

*****

• Texas A&M is going to the SEC, just as long as the Big 12 doesn’t get too lawsuit-happy (which they probably are).

• The HATERZ still doubt Boise State, says CBS’s Dennis Dodd.

• Tommy Rees is officially your new starting Notre Dame QB.

• Starting Oklahoma State S Johnny Thomas is ineligible for the 2011 season.

• Four suspended Ohio State players are back. FINALLY.

• Florida didn’t show much against Florida Atlantic. Well, yeah.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff says Mississippi State can’t get too excited about Auburn’s run D. Ok, it can get a little excited.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has a B1G stock report. He’s quite impressed by what Penn State did against Indiana State. Somebody has to be.

• Texas has young RBs who may or may not get stonewalled by older men on Saturday vs BYU.

• The Marshall Lobbestael era (six or so weeks worth) begins (again) for Washington State. Woo.

• Georgia‘s probably in on the spread offense.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples compares college football teams to TV shows. Or something, I’m lost.

• The Wiz has the best screengrabs of the week. This is quietly one of my favorite things about college football every year.

• USC RB Marc Tyler is back and he now has a shiny new merit badge for silence.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter and family are probably unhappy with Lane Kiffin.

• Oklahoma RB Jonathan MIller is done with Norman. Done.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Louis CK talking about George Carlin. Kind of perfect.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R37zkizucPU

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU graduate and Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof. This mention is to serve as a reminder that I still hold a grudge.

*****

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has a week one wrap. Get your knowledge on.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has week one number dissection. Get some more knowledge on.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new College Football Overtime in which he has the common sense to call the Pac-12 horrible after week one.

• In cased you missed it last night, Maryland wore crazy Medieval Times uniforms AND scored a FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN doing so. (and beat Miami)

• Tennessee has a new crimson-y AD.

• Reading this Heisman Watch collection will only hurt your brain.

• ESPN has conference power rankings. It’s what they do.

• Texas WR Marquise Goodwin is coming back to the Longhorns after saying he would redshirt to focus on track. The Garrett Gilbert Effect!

• SI.com’s Holly Anderson (Peete) has week one judginess.

• Nick Saban still doesn’t have a “starting quarterback” per se.

• Florida DT Shariff Floyd is still ineligible (for now).

• Ole Miss RB Brandon Bolden will miss a few weeks with a fractured ankle. Bad times.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris and LB Kiko Alonso are still suspended for the time being.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of acceptable NSFW words, at least within the context of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. (NSFW)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Vs78Gh085M

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan lick their wounds after Notre Dame and Oregon suffer losses, but power through a full hour and recap all the significant Week One action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former dental student Sofía Vergara. She’ll soon return to all of our lives in wondrous HD. 

*****

• Texas A&M absolutely did not send the Big 12 a withdrawl letter. Update: They almost assuredly will.

• Top incoming Oklahoma freshman WR Trey Metoyer will be academically ineligible this season. Just between you and me, they’ll be fine.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff profiles Mississippi State’s linebackers. Apparently, the key for them is “working hard.” Thanks for the insight, fellas.

• Ohio State released its first depth chart with a big “OR” between Joe Bauserman and Braxton Miller at QB. Why they can’t just sew the two of them together and try to beat the system that way is beyond me.

• Florida has a depth chart. Sharif Floyd at DE seems mildly unfair.

• News and notes from the Big East. Presented without further comment.

• Fearless SEC predictions are available. Such courage.

• Texas has a depth chart. It was released during a six hour Longhorn Network depth chart special. Also, Mack Brown says “more unique” in an attached video, which, of course, isn’t an actual phrase.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall previews the Big 12. Pie charts are heavily leaned on.

• Things are getting colorful for Maryland at their home opener. Good luck with all of that.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has bowl projections. It’s just that time.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has 15 impact freshmen. He calls it the Freshman 15, because, well, you get it.

• Lawyerin’ is now a thing with LSU and Jordan Jefferson.

• LSU is down a starting guard. Knees are total jerks.

• A new Rivals 100 is out. Adjust your Tuesdays.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features hilarious August injuries. It really was a great month for funny pain.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZvL58nBC68

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Andy Staples from SI.com and preview the upcoming SEC season, Alabama’s defense, Mark Richt’s job security, Stephen Garcia’s leadership, LSU’s questions, and Kentucky’s non-existent offense.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Reed College attendee Steve Jobs. Fare thee well, sir.

*****

• Tennessee S Janzen Jackson is out in Knoxville after multiple failed drug tests. Things got a little happier in SEC receiver meetings.

• LSU QB Jordan Jefferson had his home searched by police, who took DNA swabs and looked for evidence in connection to Jefferson’s alleged role in a Baton Rouge bar fight last week.

• Purdue QB Rob Henry tore an ACL, which means he’s a Purdue offensive skill position player.

• The Big East needs points and they need ‘em bad.

• Former Oregon RB Lache Seastrunk has already begun practicing with Baylor. Inspiring times for 5th string RBs everywhere.

• Florida gets the Bill Connelly treatment at SB Nation.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart takes a tour of the fall’s games that will determine the 2011 BCS champion. And Nebraska-Wisconsin.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag and SI.com’s Andy Staples has a new Mark Cuban CFB column. Stew and Andy with the ol’ SI 1-2!!

• Something called All-Access: Oklahoma aired on ESPN earlier this week. There were highlights.

• Big East Week is getting out of control at Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday.

• Touted Oregon freshman TE Colt Lyerla will play this year. A lot.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Nebraska jersey unboxing porn. It’s a very specific fetish.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZvJ-uEduqM

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the number one Miami fan (and graduate) in national TV news, Chuck Todd. I’ll bet he’s working for the weekend.

*****

• The death penalty has not been broached by the NCAA re: Miami.

• There is no NCAA realignment summit, according to NCAA president Mark Emmert. That’s what they want you to think.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris will miss some time (and possibly BC‘s opener) after undergoing knee surgery. This hits close to home — we feel what Spaziani feels.

• Miami coach Al Golden wanted a little heads up, that’s all.

• LSU coach Les Miles now says WR Russell Shepard could possibly sit out the Oregon game after all while his compliance issue gets sorted out. Oops.

• Florida released a statement indicating that their players mentioned in the Yahoo! Miami report are cleared to play. Whew.

• Same goes for Kansas State’s Brown brothers, they of paper and high school fame.

• ESPN’s Chris Low asks Auburn QB questions. I’d answer, but my lawyer has advised me against any such action.

• Wisconsin AD and former coach Barry Alvarez (and son) lost over a million dollars to the Ponzi scheme of former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro.

• Former Miami AD Paul Dee wanted the guillotine dropped on USC. He has some ‘splaining to do.

• I apparently went to the wrong UCLA practice.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews the “invisible” USC Trojans.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder has a Pac-12 preview.

• Central Florida has mail!

• Penn State still needs a quarterback.

• Nebraska CB Alfonzo Dennard has a bum leg. Not an actual bum’s leg, but rather just an injury. I’m positive you needed that clarification.

• TCU QB Casey Pachall (“Pa-ha” is what I’m told) has a bum shoulder. This one ACTUALLY IS a bum’s shoulder.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy dancing with a bottle opener in front of a cheetah mural. A senior citizen makes a cameo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkdIVJ3Nngo

Enjoy your Thursday. Support support support. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Freaks and Geeks AND Loyola Marymount alum Linda Cardellini. I think I like the Lindsay Weir version better.

*****

• Arkansas RB Knile Davis is out for the season after breaking his ankle during a scrimmage. Awful news.

• Texas A&M to the SEC isn’t nearly as true as the consistently reliable Texas A&M Rivals site would have you believe.

• Could Florida State go to the SEC? Probabmaybwhoknows.

• We like Indiana coach Kevin Wilson a lot more after his radio appearance yesterday.

• 2011 will be Howard Schnellenberger’s last year coaching Florida Atlantic. Here’s to his pants being suspended in a professional, respectable way.

• A nice point/counterpoint between Florida H-back Trey Burton and an interviewer. Her point is calling him hot, his counterpoint is looking at her chest. It balances out.

• ESPN figures out which teams are just big ol’ teases.

• Jim Tressel and Ohio State are testifying today before the NCAA. Perfect way to start the weekend, right?

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans profiles West Virginia menace DE Bruce Irvin.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has an ACC preview, but fails to talk about Maryland scooters. This is why we win.

• SEC Week is real and it’s spectacular.

• Cal lost presumed starting FB Eric Stevens to a torn ACL.

• Rivals has a Florida State preview. Conclusion: It’s Bjoern Time.

• Cincinnati‘s going black on matte black with alternate helmets.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the Warcraft kid freaking out over a tattoo. This is video birth control.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtkuvF7VbSQ

Enjoy your Friday. Keep warm.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college person Marisa Miller, who appears on Camera Guy Dave’s show, The Daily Habit. He’s now Producer Dave. Take pity on him.

*****

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno suffered shoulder and hip injuries after being run over during practice yesterday. Not cool, WR just doing his job like he’s supposed to, not cool.

• SI.com dares to go inside the private world of Urban Meyer. It appears there are more smiles (and mustaches) there than in the Urban Meyer public world.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has UCLA practice notes. Mine will be coming out here shortly. His are far more informative.

• Texas S Christian Scott was arrested for misdemeanor assault. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. Texas. Fight. (etc)

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Texas and comes to the conclusion that he has no idea what to think. Perfect.

• Upcoming guest and ESPN Big 12 blogger David Ubben ranks conference LBs.

• He then breaks down Big 12 QB competition, which isn’t the same now that Kansas’s Kale Pick is now a WR. RIP Most Unfortunate Last Name for a QB.

• The Pac-12 only has one QB battle (UCLA). “Battle” may be too strong a word for anything happening in Westwood right now.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff does the same in the SEC. DRAMA.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel and Andy Staples have ten reasons to be excited about college football. Number 11? Staples/Mandel collabo column. Duh.

• ESPN has interviews with conference commissioners. They’re as exciting as you think they are.

• The Eugene Register Guard’s Rob Moseley has an Oregon practice update.

• Georgia LB Jarvis Jones has been cleared by the NCAA.

• It’s SEC Week in DrSaturdayville. Read, absorb, learn.

• Nebraska has a WR/QB. I’m officially calling the position a “Qwibber” (QWBR).

• Rivals previews the Pokes. Yee-haw.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is world record parallel parking. Yes, that exists.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeFNunnYiKY

Enjoy your Tuesday. Fashion!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michael McKean, the only Carnegie Mellon graduate to also be a member of Spinal Tap. Beat that.

*****

• Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher‘s son is battling a rare blood disorder. Strong wishes from the Click Chorus.

• Arizona State LB Vontaze Burfict blew up a teammate. Quick, everybody act surprised.

• Michigan WR Darryl Stonum has been forced to redshirt this year after a DUI plea. Ty thinks it’s laughable to compare the situation to Michael Floyd‘s, which is true, it appears Michigan may desire a higher standard under Brady Hoke. Apples and golden oranges.

• The Longhorn Network contract is analyzed by Outkick the Coverage’s Clay Travis. Allegedly.

• It’s QB John Brantley‘s turn in Florida. Again.

• Nebraska QB Bubba Starling, who definitely is playing baseball and not football, didn’t practice and isn’t on the roster. So other than that…

• ESPN is all-accessing Florida. Photographs!

• Fox Sports’s Andrew Astleford profiles Missouri QB James Franklin, who may do the unthinkable and finish in the top half of some Big 12 passing categories, eclipsing the immortal standard set my Blaine Gabbert.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has been saving his West Virginia preview for a special occasion. Or today, either way.

• Boise State has gotten around the Mountain West‘s unfair blue-on-blue ban. Brilliant.

• Michigan St DT Jerel Worthy has immortalized his disdain for the Maize and Blue.

• Wrap up Pac-12 Week with Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday.

• Virginia Tech gets the latest Rivals preview treatment. LUNCHPAILS!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the (DECIDEDLY NSFW) trailer for The Sitter.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYvj9J0GLsU

Enjoy your Monday. Clothing is purchasable.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Daniel Tosh, UCF graduate, and possible Knight-Knight fan. Doing O’Leary proud!

*****

• Top HS QB prospect Jameis Winston picked Florida State yesterday, though he’s expected to also be taken high in next year’s baseball draft. Wouldn’t wish his problems on my worst enemy. (video)

• The Humanitarian Bowl is no more. The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl is, uh, more.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers has been cleared for (limited) practice, which is awful news for everybody in the Pac-12.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart has 2011′s top ten trap games. As always, Admiral Ackbar ghost wrote most of this.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has a thorough, fact-filled Auburn preview. RollsRoyce5 will immediate denounce all of it as being a sham and biased.

• ESPN’s David Ubben reflects on Big 12 media days. Guessing they weren’t served lobster like the lucky sumbitches in the Big East.

• An SEC media days lookback.

• Pac-12 ditto. B1G ditto.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag that completely ignores this season of Whale Wars, which I know Stew himself is not doing. Bring it out in the open, Mandel!

• Pre-Snap Read is counting down teams with extraordinary detail. Read it. Love it. Live it. Here’s Florida.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday continues Pac-12 week with Cal and defining games. (And no, Cal isn’t in today’s defining games post)

• Rivals has the nation’s best OL groups. Iowa is #5 despite last September’s Arizona game existing.

• Touted incoming Mizzou DE Sheldon Richardson is yet to be cleared by the NCAA. Or he has. Or he hasn’t. Or he has. Or he hasn’t.

• Illinois waterskis. Simple as that.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an explanation of hipsterdom, but by puppets. Of course.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbTI7eWaQbk

Enjoy your Thursday. Rock the shwag.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Penn State graduate (and Notre Dame fan) Ty Hildenbrandt. With this morning’s Michael Floyd news, today is his Independence Day.

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd has been officially reinstated by Brian Kelly. I’ll bet he learned his lesson.

• Miami OT Seantrel Henderson may miss the 2011 season (or a large chunk thereof) after he undergoes back surgery next week. We’re gonna need a bigger table.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy has a post-Big East media day profile of West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen. Only read this if you want to know more about Mike Leach’s sweat pants.

• Virginia Tech OT Blake DeChristopher will miss the next 4-6 weeks with a wonky boob. And that’s how you do a painful injury a complete disservice.

• EDSBS has the least watchable teams in recent CFB history. I’m still not over his Paul Wulff descriptions.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly makes with the Penn State previewing.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has quick things-to-know on Pac-12 teams.

• The Big East may expand again. I learned this from looking into Ivan Maisel‘s steely eyes.

• Texas and Oklahoma fans brought knives to a knife fight (at Applebee’s). Luckily, the magical phrase, “ruptured scrotum” is nowhere to be found here.

• Rivals ranks receiving corps. They really dropped the ball with Arkansasat #1. <-- Comedy.

• SI.com’s Ben Glicksman says Penn State needs somebody to throw the ball to their own team. Crazy, I know.

• Listen to a fun interview with Mike Leach. Psh, like any of them aren’t.

• Memphis is so edgy.

• Central Michigan is so maroon.

• Continue reading Dr Saturday’s Pac-12 week. Become smarter. Rinse repeat.

• Crap, the Solid Verbal preseason poster was going to look EXACTLY like Florida’s. Back to the drawing board.

• Rivals previews South Carolina. This is your last chance to read this.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a mariachi band serenading a beluga whale. Because it is, that’s why.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS_6-IwMPjM

Enjoy your Wednesday. Shop, don’t drop.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by USC attendee Ron Howard, who had a similar run-in with TMZ to Marc Tyler’s, only his was way more graphic.

*****

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly gave his first extensive comments since Yahoo!‘s most recent Will Lyles story. Not much was said.

• Alabama *officially* has nothing to do with T-Town Menswear, the outfitter that definitely didn’t do anything wrong with current and former Tide players.

• The Mountain West has arbitrarily decided that Boise State can’t wear their all-blues at home. Because really, what you want to do when you lose your biggest team and gain a new signature team, you’d like alienate the new guys as soon as possible.

• Former Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor has a clearer path to the NFL’s Supplemental Draft — the Buckeyes want nothing to do with him.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck will only play one more year for Stanford, surprising no one.

• UCLA QB Brett Hundley will be out for about a month after tearing meniscus in his right knee. The Bruins is exactly on schedule.

• Florida RB (and noted sprinter) Jeff Demps will play football this fall. Quickly.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks to Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops at Big 12 media day about losing. Exciting stuff.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has decided robots are the way to go for college football. It’s all fun and games until the video replay machine kills somebody.

• ESPN has choice quotes and storylines from Big 12 media day (Day 2). Lapel pins wowed the masses.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller is all up in Stanford QB Andrew Luck’s beard. And I don’t blame him.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt talks to ESPN’s Chris Fowler al fresco.

• Clemson QB Tajh Boyd got in an early dig on South Carolina. I like.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly loves him some pig sooie.

• I see what you did there, Georgia Tech. Clever.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has a Minnesota preview. It includes a painful MarQueis Gray pun (but is otherwise very good).

(Michigan and Iowa are also ready for knowledge-gaining)

• Rivals has a West Virginia preview. I’m choosing to pronounced probable star WR Ivan McCartney “Ee-vahn,” mostly because I can.

• Tate Forcier is going to San Jose State (this week).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Baylor QB Robert Griffin not giving a crap. Go to 2:12 mark. (via Dr Sat)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAmEJ6qLN6Y

Enjoy your Wednesday. Drape yourself in fine cloth. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Virginia Hoo (attendee), Talladega Nights actress, and all-around good looking person Leslie Bibb.

*****

• Ohio State apparently did NOT fail to monitor their student-athletes. CBS’s Bryan Fischer is STEAMED.

• Tennessee has recommended two years of probation for its crimes against NCAA humanity under former basketball coach Bruce Pearl and former football coach Lane Kiffin. A lot of probing.

• The Big 12 has media days today and tomorrow. Texas will be holding its own party and it’s going to be way cooler than the party you guys are throwing.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy speaks with the most fashionably casual conference commissioner of them all, the ACC’s John Swofford. Even his last name sounds like an exceedingly comfortable polo shirt.

• Florida DB Matt Elam has been cited for underage alcohol possession, thus dragging Florida‘s sterling name through the mud. For shame.

• CBS’s Mr. CFB briefly profiles Florida St QB E.J. Manuel. FINALLY, Florida State gets some preseason ink.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday rips open the ACC with conference notes, defining games, and previews during ACC Week.

• ESPN humbly submits an anonymous Mountain West prediction.

• I don’t know what ESPN’s Heather Dinich and Pat Forde talk about here, I just know Forde does not look impressed by your camera equipment. An ACC notebook is also present.

• Fox Sports also seems to think that Florida State kinda, sorta needs to win one for the Atlantic Coast.

• An All-SEC preseason team exists.

• LSU WR Russell Shepard isn’t suspended, but may have some sort of compliance issue to address. Or something.

• FoxSports has a Big 12 preview. And it’s fully stocked with (Texas A&M RB) Christine Michael references. Well, one.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Iowa. He anticipates the sound of a record suddenly being stopped on a turntable. Ree-rr!

• SI.com’s Jordan Conn profiles star South Carolina WR Alshon Jeffrey. It’s good, but not nearly as promising as SI.com’s Alshon Jeffrey profiling South Carolina WR Jordan Conn (as I originally envisioned).

• Colorado’s poster schedule is brought to you by Verizon, so if you don’t like it, Verizon customer service will tell you to go straight to hell.

• Rivals profiles woefully under-appreciated BC RB Montel Harris.

• Smart Football’s Chris Brown talks first half two point conversions. He’s anti.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best pre-NASCAR race prayer ever.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J74y88YuSJ8

Enjoy your Monday. Stay clothed.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by mustachio’d NYU attendee Sarah Silverman. Lady mustaches have yet to bore me.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks SEC commissioner Mike Slive’s hopes and dreams for change in the SEC. If you read between the lines, dropping football as a conference sports seems like a real possibility.

• …And SEC coaches aren’t fans of hopes and dreams.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks the NCAA will listen to Mike Slive and then not listen.

• The EYE also has choice SEC Media Day quotes and summaries from Steve Spurrier, Will Muschamp, Bobby Petrino, and Dan Mullen.

• ESPN has their own choice SEC quotes and moments.

• The NCAA‘s investigation into Auburn and the recruitment of Cam Newton continually has new life. Good thing coach Gene Chizik admonished an NCAA enforcement official at a rules meeting a few weeks ago. Whew!

• Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Or not.

• I hope you’re sitting down … LSU received outdated recruiting video from Will Lyles.

• Former (briefly) Florida RB and current Auburn RB Mike Blakely had his appeal to immediately play for the Tigers denied.

• Florida RB Jeff Demps is still considering a pro track career, which is good because he’s generally the fastest sprinting human in college.

• Texas talks Longhorn Network, which is going to be totally fair, you guys.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner examines the forthcoming Pac-12 Network. He thinks things will finally be coming up Milhouse (Time Warner)!

• How will the B1G respond to Mike Slive. Slowly?

• Big 12 position rankings are FINALLY here, and they’re brought to you by Texas, because legally, every sentence that contains “Big 12” must also contain “Texas.”

• Big East tight ends are ranked. If you knew all of these players, you’re either gifted, nerdy, or run the Big East Coast Bias blog.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Wisconsin, who now have an adjusted loss to UNLV. Cheer up Rebel fans, you now have a math win!

• SI.com’s Tim Layden reminisces about the best team he ever covered, the 1995 Nebraska squad, a team that still gives Steve Spurrier occasional night terrors.

• Auburn has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars … defending allegations tied to the recruitment of Cam Newton.

• North Texas is riding Green Lantern Fever, which, of course, doesn’t exist. And UTEP is doing everything they can to remind you just which sport they play.

• ESPN’s commentator assignments for the 2011 season have been released. Things just got a little bit more Hawkins in here.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Steve Nash being awesome at parking.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXFF5_GIsV0

Enjoy your Thursday. New shirts soon.

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Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about the launch of his new site (OutkickTheCoverage.com) and his thoughts on a hodgepodge of SEC topics in the midst of Media Days.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Purdue graduate Jim Gaffigan, who probably, despite the bacon and hot pockets, still has healthier knees than Ralph Bolden.

*****

• Former NC State QB Russell Wilson is officially a Wisconsin Badger. I don’t even know why we’re wasting time actually playing out the B1G season. Sam Keller approves of this message.

• When it comes to the rule that allows Wilson to transfer, SI.com’s Andy Staples is a shameless fanboy.

• The autopsy results pertaining to the death of Alabama OL Aaron Douglas came back positive for multiple drugs.

• The Pac-12 is bringing Apple and Google aboard. Lycos and AltaVista are still totally down to party, Big 12.

• Former Florida Gator and current Miami Dolphin LB Channing Crowder “hypothetically” sold his jerseys while still in school. Hypothetically, I don’t care.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles Miami coach Al Golden. The word “swagger” appears no less than three times.

• Former ASU WR Kerry Taylor has gone public with his lack of confidence in ASU coach Dennis Erickson. It’s almost like Taylor has closely followed Erickson’s career.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg talks to Kansas OC Chuck Long mostly about non-Kansas things. Probably smart.

• Purdue RB Ralph Bolden has intact ACLs. For now.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson profiles Navy OL Travis Bridges. Spoiler: Root for Travis Bridges.

• ESPN’s David Ubben catches up with former Oklahoma QB Jason White. He now sells clothes on fewer intact ACLs than Ralph Bolden.

• Given its recent circumstances, could Ohio State recruiting take a hit? Probably, says Fox Sports.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly gets all up in the Cougars. I wrote that sentence like that on purpose. BYU.

• It should be known that Marshall has a RB named “Tron.” And that he is not at all above the law.

• Rivals has bounce back players.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a local TV reporter casually taking a last puff from a cigarette … while covering a blazing oil fire.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6UCbNPZEW8

Enjoy your Tuesday. Go buy things.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kentucky alum and superfan, Ashley Judd, who is probably paying part of John Calipari’s eventually-vacated contract extension.

*****

• Two Georgia players are now on the (in)eligibility radar. I pasted that from an earlier item.

• In dealing with NCAA inquiries, Oregon has retained the services of a law firm and attorney that writers themselves call “The Cleaner.”

• UNC released the names of the players who accrued the hundreds of parking tickets. Former WR Greg Little “had 93 tickets on multiple vehicles with nine different license plates.” Prolific.

• USF OL Danous Estenor heroically picks up cars. No big deal.

• Former NC St QB Russell Wilson will announce his 2011 destination today. He will then appear on College Football Live. Adjust your schedule accordingly. Or don’t, whatever.

• ESPN’s Craig James appears to have become awfully political for an analyst not supposed to be publicly political.

• ESPN has Big East OL rankings, ACC OL rankings, and B1G OL rankings. Don’t blame me when conference OL rankings come up at a cocktail party and you have nothing to say.

• Something called “T-Woolf” will take the field for Michigan in a couple months. I warned you.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Michigan State while also conceding that the Spartans didn’t deserve to beat Alabama in the Capital One Bowl. Whew.

• Vanderbilt has sneakily begun the recruiting season in strong fashion. Do yo’ thang, Coach Hand. Do yo’ thang.

• Former Alabama RB Corey Grant will transfer to Auburn to be in Gus Malzahn’s spread system. Apparently, he thinks Gus Malzahn will be in Auburn next fall. Cute.

• Florida DE Chris Martin will once again transfer. Frequent flyer miles up the wazoo.

• Pitt will take on its 48th B1G transfer, this time it’s Wisconsin RB Zach Brown.

• How Oklahoma State got $165 million from T. Boone Pickens. I imagine one of the ways was a promise of absolutely no swift boats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the worst cat DJ ever. Pretty much a no-talent.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HA5WVjMBX8

Enjoy your Monday. Buy tees!

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mizzou’s Jon Hamm, who got richer this week. Don’t let the money cramp your saxy style, Jon. Don’t do it.

*****

• Former UNC coach John Blake has a reputation, and part of that reputation includes biology charisma.

• Former USC WR Lonnie White (early-mid 80′s) received payments while playing for the Trojans. It all sounds about right until you hear who paid him … NCAA PRESIDENT MARK EMMERT!!!! <— I made that up.

• Florida needs warm bodies. If they don’t get them, EDSBS’s Spencer Hall may be forced to shoot video trying out for the team. He might die. Let’s save Spencer.

• New Michigan coach Brady Hoke is poking the bear. Ahem, bear cub.

• ESPN’s Heater Dinich (new name!) ranks ACC WR corps.

• If you’re more bored than you’ve ever been, please accept this offering of ESPN’s best SEC kickers and punters, plus special teams. Please.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has a brief profile of new starting Iowa RB Marcus Coker.

• Bennett’s ESPN B1G Ten partner Adam Rittenberg handles the receivers and tight ends. That sounded wrong.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller speculates on the Pac-12′s impact freshmen. Oregon State apparently has an incoming DE named Rusty Fernando. That is all.

• Football Study Hall previews Tennessee with no mention of Tyler Bray’s tattoo. And they were on such a roll, too.

• Terrelle Pryor got his own Jon Gruden segment. You can hear him apologize for nothing in particular all over again.

• Notre Dame players have new gloves that test the limits of multi-headed mascots.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel had the gall to take a honeymoon when so much was going on in college football. He catches up here.

• Auburn‘s getting early points from Vegas in pretty much all of their 2011 games.

• Iowa St RB DeVondrick Nealy was cited for shootin’ stuff on campus with a BB gun. Way to go.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is your 90s childhood quickly flashed before your eyes. It’s more traumatic than you think.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0DDQ02vAeY

Enjoy your Thursday. Buy Verbal!

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alum Christine Lakin, who played on Al on ABC’s Step by Step. Wanna feel old? She’s 32 (but still has it!). (ahem, Christine: solidverbal@gmail.com)

*****

• The lawyer of Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor questions 90% of the SI story. I’m feeling even better about the article already.

• Similarly, lawsuits are being threatened over SI’s investigative piece. I have a feeling the follow up to this story will include the phrase, “never materialized.”

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen is now clear on the expectations the school and the state have no the whole “not getting tossed out of casinos” thing.

• Former Notre Dame and current Montana QB Nate Montana (get it?!?!) was arrested for suspected DUI. Not cool.

• Penn State OC Jay Paterno says athletes are already getting paid dozens of dollars an hour for the work they put in athletically. Of course, his math is all poorly constructed and he leaves out revenue figures for schools. Other than that, bang-up job, sir.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples argues that, while Steve Spurrier‘s plan won’t happen, it’s an important step towards a payment discussion.

• Maryland and Connecticut each had offensive footprints last season. Football Study Hall takes you inside the magic.

• Tim Tebow was on The Daily Show. Bloomin’ Onions were implied.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson answers some basic TCU/Big East questions. It’s all she can do to not say TCU is going to swallow up USF.

• Former Georgia RB Washaun Ealey has transferred to Jacksonville State. Gentlemen, get your moving violation ticket pads rrrreeeaadddyyyy!!!

• Will Ohio State‘s recruits hang around? Fox Sports’s Zac (no K, no H) Johnson further pontificates.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) tries to crack the SEC Lion King Twitter code. I’m so lost.

• Some quick thoughts on noisemakers on the SEC by EDSBS fanposter “RaginCajunRebel.” Remember to get sucked into the amazing comment vortex.

• Former Michigan QB Tate Forcier visited San Jose State. Come for the football, stay for the obscene burritos.

• Mel Kiper is totally down with high school 7on7 tournaments. Just so you know.

• Hot/Cold Yes/No UCF QB recruit DeMarcus Smith has chosen to stick with UCF. This is actually news.

• The purple and gray field at Central Arkansas is coming along just fine, thank you.

• Arizona needs snitches ASAP.

*****

Today’ s Video of the Day is Orson Welles sleepwalking through a commercial shoot. I could watch this forever and ever.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFevH5vP32s

Enjoy your Friday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel. In the back of my mind, you’re getting the 24-style silent clock countdown treatment. Good night, sweet prince (of alleged corruption).

*****

Ahem…

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has officially coached his last game for the Buckeyes after resigning amid pressure from those around him at the university. Interim head coach Luke Fickell keeps the tag, but now with more games tacked on.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor is the subject of an investigation by both Ohio State and the NCAA regarding his ever-expanding car collection and other illegal benefits allegedly received.

• SI’s George Dohrmann conducted an investigation into the scope of the benefits that Ohio State players had come to receive during the Tressel era.

• Ohio State blog Eleven Warriors thoroughly analyzes the above investigation in the expected partisan manner they should have.

• Oh and ESPN analyst Urban Meyer will not pursue any filled jobs for this fall. Good for him.

• Current and former Buckeyes react to the news. Former Buckeye WR Ray Small was particularly poignant.

• ESPN’s Bruce Feldman throws out some replacement ideas.

• Finally, some reactions — Yahoo!!!!!”s Dan Wetzel expects snowballing … Fox Sports’s Bruce Hooley talks about Tressel losing his cred … SI.com’s Andy Staples says it’s all his fault … CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders how OSU AD Gene Smith is surviving.

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgersen has actually been involved in at least six “alcohol-related incidents” in the past six months. And no, he doesn’t seem like a good guy to party with.

• Remember that random elite DL recruit from Florida who announced for New Mexico last year? He’s done with New Mexico.

• South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia was quietly reinstated by Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier. Shhhhh.

• Nebraska QB Cody Green is transferring out of Lincoln. Boise State is a name that has surfaced. Ugh, which probably means that he’ll have a good shot into developing into a complete QB. Meh.

• SEC spring meetings begin today. ESPN’s Chris Low has a preview. It’s like rock and roll but the exact opposite.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is straightforward and to the point — May Failures (I refuse to use the word “fail” as a noun).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrO-qVywKD0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

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Ty and Dan talk with Chris Brown from SmartFootball.com about turnover among offensive assistants in college football and the impact new philosophies will have on their respective teams.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Nebraska fan and GIANT Big Red fan Warren Buffett. He was kind enough to cameo on “The Office” last night, mediocre as it has become.

*****

• The Big Ten is looking to give its students a little extra sumthin-sumthin (around $3,000) to assist with “transportation, clothes, and other living expenses.” Not a bad start.

• Florida OC Charlie Weis has received upwards of $6.6 million from Notre Dame to continually not be their coach. Good work if you can find it.

• Oklahoma LB Austin Box was found dead in a residence in El Reno, OK of a “probable overdose,” with police reporting the presence of prescription drugs found at the house. Unbelievably awful.

• UNC DE Quinton Coples is being investigated by the NCAA for his presence at a post-draft party in Washington DC thrown for former teammates Marvin Austin and Robert Quinn. Are we positive North Carolina’s compliance department isn’t a series of desks occupied by inflatable dolls?

• Guess who’s back … back again … South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia.

• Details are trickling out about EA Sports’s NCAA 12. If you don’t think we’re going to go nuts with the release of this game in early to mid July (release is July 12, get it?), you just haven’t been paying attention to us.

• Do you want to see what new starting Washington QB Keith Price sees? Of course you kinda, maybe do.

• Florida coach Will Muschamp talks about his secondary, but it’s unclear if he was just reading from his jumbo wristband.

• Purdue QB Rob Henry should be the frontrunner to become the Boilermakers’ starting QB, but don’t count out the knee-less Robert Marve. Or do, whatever.

• San Diego State QB Ryan Lindley lost his best receivers. He should still be fine, but I can’t help but picture him sadly walking on the San Diego beach surrounded by beautiful SDSU girls with The Scorpions’ “Wind of Change” gently playing in the background.

• ESPN’s Chris Low ranks the SEC’s non-conference schedules. It’s just as exciting as it sounds.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel examines the complicated issues that surround oversigning.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jon Stewart and The Daily Show taking down Ben Stein. Yes, that Ben Stein.

Enjoy your Friday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ohio State alum and noted enthusiasm curber, Richard Lewis. Great, thanks Jim Tressel, another thing for Lewis to get bummed out about. Just great.

*****

• SI Video has a great video piece about the University of Alabama and the recent tornado. Incredibly for SI, it’s not a writer on the phone passed off as “video.”

• Keep following the Wiz of Odds‘s takedown of bowl deals with his ongoing expense report series.

• The NCAA, being the all-powerful oversight organization that they are, answered questioning from the Department of Justice with a simple, “Not us, go ask them.”

• West Virginia AD Oliver Luck doesn’t think it’d be the worst thing in the world if Mountaineer fans got a little drunker. (That sentence came out more misleading than even I could’ve intended.)

• CBS Sports’s Brett McMurphy talks to Florida coach Will Muschamp about how he got hired and what the former Texas coach sees in OC Charlie Weis. Hint: it’s not QB John Brantley running the option.

• Purdue‘s getting new uniforms. If there was any sense in the world, they’d feature a giant picture of Ryan Kerrigan, with the words, “He Went Here” underneath. Unfortunately, they’ll probably just look like this.

• Colorado DE Forrest West, who seems quite pleased with himself in his team photo, is transferring to NC State. I don’t need to hope he’s happy — I already know.

• South Carolina RB Marcus Lattimore is in decent shape. And by that I mean, his leg may contain more power than Ty and I do combined. Even if you add in some of our extended family members, I think we’re still just approaching Lattimore.

• Former TCU safety Tejay Johnson is completely awesome at life.

• SB Nation’s Football Study Hall continues to not sleep and pump out numbers that try to explain and preview teams. Washington and Northwestern the latest FBO treatments.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel wonders if Arizona State can be this year’s Auburn and come out of nowhere to be national title contenders. The Solid Verbal’s Dan Rubenstein has seen ASU play and politely disagrees with any of this wondering nonsense.

• Rivals profiles new Clemson OC Chad Morris, who will forever be known as “the guy who screwed Clemson up” or “the guy who got Clemson over the hump,” and nothing in between.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an oldie, but still maintains its crown has the greatest Black Eyed Peas cover (or for that matter, performance) of all time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlfO1C2QcvY

Enjoy your Thursday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you once again by NC State alumnus Zach Galafianakis, star of Between Two Ferns and other things that may come out soon.

*****

• Ole Miss dismissed DE Delvin Jones and LB Clarence Jackson after they were arrested for public drunkenness. It was not the first trouble either had been in. I know, right?

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd proposes an idea to have Auburn-Alabama scrimmage in August to raise money for tornado relief. It’s such a good idea that it isn’t even his. Don’t worry, no credit was given.

• Illinois AD Ron Guenther announced his formal retirement. To be safe, Ron Zook better get a letter of rec sooner rather than later.

• ESPN College Gameday will begin the season at the Oregon-LSU game in Dallas. A victory for those that prefer their pre-game college football coverage in a sterile, safe setting. YES!

• Cal coach Jeff Tedford reminisced about the old days at Fresno State. I can’t wait until some ranked team cockily strides into Fresno and loses — I’m never going to stop with the, “You don’t come into the SJV talking that mess!” jokes. Never.

• Nebraska AD Tom Osborne backs Jim Tressel in the Ohio State coach’s ongoing struggle. Whenever a former coach who famously started a player right after that player threw a woman down a flight of stairs calls, YOU LISTEN.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has a tidy SEC spring wrap. He tries dutifully to say nice things about LSU QB Jordan Jefferson.

• Minnesota gets the Football Outsiders treatment. Summary: If they’re going to win, it’ll be because of the offense.

• Anchor of Gold has a Vanderbilt offensive preview. More on this later.

• Oregon‘s OL gets a boost with the return of C Hamani Stevens, who left the school to complete a Mormon mission. Of course, he hasn’t put on pads in two years, he’s not in Eugene or enrolled in the school, so let’s all temper our collective excitement for now.

• New Florida WR Ja’Juan Story likes to poop and listen to Katy Perry.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the preview for the NBC show, “The Playboy Club.” It’s all the sexiness of Playboy and the early 60s mixed with the horrible development and generally misguided sensibilities of NBC.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-dnE5NtJDs

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Adam “Pac-Man” Jones, West Virginia attendee and noted rainmaker. Former Fiesta Bowl CEO John Junker is seething with jealousy.

*****

• The Fiesta Bowl was fined ONE MILLION DOLLARS for their minor corruption snafus, but will stay in the BCS. That’s a lot of complimentary 2015 tortilla chips with my name on ‘em.

• If the NFL lockout sticks, get ready for more four-hour college football games. This according to the people that would make money from the six minute commercial breaks.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd has decided, before even a single game broadcast, that Urban Meyer on TV isn’t right. But who replaces him in the booth? My guess — Bob Stoops.

• If you’re keeping score at home, it’s been almost three and a half years since Joe Paterno has visited a recruit. And now he’ll be traveling less. Scary to think about how good Penn State will be with an acting head coach.

• Former Florida CB Janoris Jenkins will be playing out his eligibility at North Alabama, whatever that is.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett wraps the Big East spring. Long live Tino v. Geno in the backyard.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers emails. He feels good about the SEC. And there you have it.

• Clemson has no interest in Missouri QB transfer Tyler Gabbert. It’s because of the kids, you see.

• Thirty percent of Virginia Tech players will receive new helmets that actually help to guard against concussions. Always good.

• Iowa has verbally offered a 15 year old (who hasn’t played a down of varsity football) a scholarship. What could possibly go wrong?

• Rivals profiles Cal QB Zach Maynard, the Buffalo transfer who’s competing for the Bears’ starting job. Oh and his little brother is Cal‘s “star” WR.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day reinforces what we already all knew — jetpacks are awesome.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4CX-8Eo_6I

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Steve Zissou. I just saw The Life Aquatic again and it’s better than I rememberd, so I figured I’d honor it the only way I know how. I’d be perfectly fine with any school using Team Zissou as an alternative uniform template. Perfectly fine.

*****

• ESPN’s Chris Spielman would be surprised if Ohio State coach Jim Tressel was back at all this fall. I tend to believe people like Chris Spielman.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart has ten questions about the ACC. Apparently, Virginia and Wake Forest are the neglected stepchildren here.

• Florida RB Mike Blakely is transferring just a few months after arriving in Gainesville. SEC speed applies.

• Free agent QB Russell Wilson has “shown interest” in Wisconsin. Intriguing.

• Suspended Ohio State LB Dorian Bell, who was rumored to be transferring to Pitt, apparently will not be. Maybe. I think.

• Gus Johnson will be the voice of Pac-12 football for Fox. UNCONTROLLABLE EXCITEMENT!!!

• Now-former Missouri QB Tyler Gabbert has been in contact with several schools, including Arizona, Iowa, and Louisville. Exciting times indeed for backup QB enthusiasts.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall learned nothing and everything from spring football all at the same time.

• SI.com’s Ben Glicksman profiles new Pitt coach Todd Graham, who has switched the defense to what he’s calling a Nitro 3-4, which sounds a little too similar to a backstage orgy in the American Gladiators dressing room.

• Rivals previews Tennessee and speaks to coach Derek Dooley. Calling it right now — Tennessee finishes a top 5 SEC East team. BALLS!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is 8 year old banjo destruction.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3qbB4Kq3Y0

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Princeton graduate Ellie Kemper, who stars in The Office and makes up half of Subtle Sexuality, whose music videos make me feel uncomfortable. In a good way.

*****

• Florida coach Will Muschamp finally signed a contract. Oh I get it — he’s like Don Draper in Rod Blagojevich’s haircut. With a wristband.

• Lloyd Carr told Ryan Mallett to leave Michigan. It’d be funnier if he rounded up a posse beforehand.

• Washington coach Steve Sarkisian used the same words to describe his decision to “anoint” Keith Price to starting QB as he did Mark Sanchez. I don’t know what this means.

• New Solid Verbal pal (and ESPN blogger) Brian Bennett handicaps the Big East race and treats the teams like horses. Get it?

• The Wall Street Journal wonders if Oregon coach Chip Kelly is a genius. I’ll defer to Kelly’s reaction to a similar question the coach received last year — “Jonas Salk was a genius.”

• Scout.com took the time to produce a video about the 2012 recruiting classes of Texas schools in May of 2011. The barren set (that may be at Sea World) bums me out.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly is back again with his charts, graphs, and general intelligence — this time with an in-depth look at Syracuse. His analysis is almost identical to Fox Sports’s, only exactly the opposite.

• Kansas State is installing new turf and SB Nation has video that will BLOW YOUR MIND.

• An Urban Meyer documentary will be released by SI.com. I’m still afraid that Urban’s going to fall into the water behind him.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel learned ten things this spring. Nothing more, nothing less.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best Land Rover commercial I’ve seen all day. And I’ve seen, uh, a bunch.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfXbWe7lJhI

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kristen Wiig, who stars in “Bridesmaids,” her comedy debut. After so many years on SNL, it’s clear she was ready for a change in genre.

*****

• The Wall Street Journal breaks down the success of first round NFL Draft picks. It all makes so much sense.

• The NCAA announced that no new bowls will be formed for at least three years. We can now officially mourn the possibility of Allentown’s proposed Hot Dog King Bowl.

• A huge, horrible tornado hit Tuscaloosa and barely missed Alabama’s Bryant-Denny Stadium. Here’s how you can help out.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg looks at B1G Ten draft bargains. The list rightfully includes the conference’s most efficient 2010 QB and most consistent WR. And, for what it’s worth, Minnesota QB Adam Weber.

• When it comes to the “postseason,” the newly-independent BYU will be treated like Army and Navy, not like Notre Dame. This means an agreement with ………. The Armed Forces Bowl!!!!

• Kentucky has inexperience playing behind an experienced offensive line. Things should improve now that the offense doesn’t have to face Toby “T-Bone” Griffin in practice every day. And yes, I am catching up on Justified, why?

• Stop what you’re doing — Kansas State coach Bill Snyder has officially made it public knowledge that Bryce Brown is talented.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller speaks with Arizona State OC Noel Mazzone. Ted’s video grab is much kinder than the last one we saw.

• Florida CB Janoris Jenkins and Florida coach Will Muschamp have agreed to mutually part ways. Only it wasn’t mutual at all.

• In hopes of keeping their BCS status, the Fiesta Bowl has pitched the BCS on the ways they will reform their business plan. I assume this means fewer strippers, but nothing’s finalized yet.

• Nicki Meyer’s dad isn’t going to Ohio State, you guys. Srsly.

• Presumed starting Illinois RB Jason Ford was arrested on an outstanding warrant. I imagine this means the warrant was both previously existed and was one of the more perfect warrants issued by the local police department.

• Addicted to Quack makes some predictions for the Ducks’ Saturday spring game (ESPN2 4 PM ET). Pay no attention to the radio and podcast host sitting 14 inches from his TV.

• SI.com’s Don Banks issues his final Mock Draft. Adam Weber is nowhere to be found. SI also ranks their Top 50 Overall Prospects. It’s still unclear whether any part of that last sentence needed to be capitalized.

• Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville is (was?) a birther. Do with this information what you will.

• Take a page from Auburn OC Gus Malzahn‘s playbook. Seriously, here’s a page.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vybSGMkqWbQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Hugh Grant, Oxford graduate. He is awarded this honor because apparently, two important people are getting married in England this week. Also, Grant is foppish. I think somebody actually invented the word “foppish” to describe Grant.

*****

• Ohio State officially received its notice of allegations from the NCAA, who are total HATERZ.

• More Florida players favor herbal remedies. Oh and pot. Lots of pot.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini signed a new contract a few weeks ago. I was sworn to secrecy, but one major incentive includes provisions for a curved hat bill that surpasses all geometric laws.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi wasn’t exactly wowed by the passing display put on in Ohio State’s Pryor-less spring game. He was, however, smitten with Jim Tressel’s boots.

• Rich Rodriguez spoke to CBS Sports bloggers about various football and personal topics. I didn’t read everything, so I’ll just assume he accuses most of the Michigan athletic department of being furries.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with Wisconsin’s running backs. West Coast Kevin may be right in openly wondering why we’ve never seen Rittenberg’s legs. The smart money is on him as a hovering Big-10 blogger.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller very politely points out that UCLA wasn’t very good in its spring game Saturday night.

He also accidentally becomes half of the greatest college football video screengrab of all time while interviewing USC defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin.

• FoxSports’s Lisa Horne reviews USC’s spring game. She was impressed by the secondary, which had the ideal assignment of playing against USC’s passing game.

• Oregon has specific spring game uniforms that feature camouflage and military-type ribbons. I’m given credit for the picture, even though I’m always roughly 850 miles from the Oregon locker room at all times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at Texas A&M and wonders if the winning belief is strong in College Station. He also rips six east Texas BBQ shacks for having too many vinegar molecules in their sauce. Perfectionist, that Staples.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it up for the first time this spring. He doesn’t seem to be as in love with Oregon as others might be at this point, which clearly points to him being a HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden, the Danny Almonte of Big 12 QBs.

• A site has been created with the sole purpose of trying to get Cam Newton to take a lie detector test. Newton would in turn receive one million dollars for answer four questions related to his recruitment. Must be nice to have so much disposable income without the cares of perspective, rational behavior, or basic intelligence.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Our Idiot Brother.” Paul Rudd’s sweater makes me giggle.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oglpsxVjRY

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU alumnus and brief Social Network actress Rooney Mara, one of the more eligible ladies anyone will come across. And by that I mean STRAIGHT. CASH. HOMEY.

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd remains suspended from the team (pending unknown Chip/Brian Kellyian hurdles), but will be allowed to enroll in school this fall. About right.

• Rivals is now considered to be a “scouting service” under new NCAA bylaws, meaning coaches and programs can no longer subscribe to the “service.” And in a quieter story, Bill Plaschke is no longer considered to be “credible columnist,” so it’s a violation for any fan to read his work Noted.

• Purdue K Carson WIggs nailed a 67 yard FG in the spring game. All 738 attendees got quite a show.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks LSU’s patience in Jordan Jefferson is fleeting. In tough times, though, it’s always important to think of the innocent, affected interceptions. They didn’t do anything wrong.

• And the Valley Shook has thoughts on LSU’s spring game. They’re feeling something weird in their pants when they watch the Tiger DBs. Acceptable.

• ESPN’s David Ubben visits Stillwater and gets a lot of Weeden.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller dapperly speaks to Stanford coach David Shaw.

• Illinois is trying to find a few great linebackers. Ok, pretty good. Ok, decent. Ok, willing.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has Florida spring game notes. It’s even painful to read.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Iowa notes. Vandenberg ahoy!

• Georgia OT Trinton Sturdivant tore an ACL for the THIRD TIME. Awful.

• USC WR Markeith Ambles simply didn’t show up at Saturday practice. Check the roof!

• Tim Tebow has a statue in front of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. It’s going to be weird for everyone when his furry sex dungeon is exposed. Perhaps I’ve said too much. Rawr.

• Fox Sports Florida profiles probable starting Florida State DE Bjorn Werner, a large powerful German dude. Advantage Noles.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder goes old school and profiles Arkansas QB Tyler Wilson. This has “Excuse to go to some BBQ place in Arkansas” written all over it.

• Purdue changed up their mascot, Purdue Pete, almost entirely because they’re incredibly lame.

• Colorado QB Tyler Hansen had a solid spring game for Colorado. In Buffalo-ese, this is otherworldly.

• Rivals takes an early look at 2011 scheduling. DO NOT READ THIS, COACHES!

• Oklahoma WR Justin McCay self-reported an injury. The Sonner spring game line is now off the board.

• “UCLA football player” is the new Spinal Tap drummer.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an adjusted Miley Cyrus song with terrible lip reading (on purpose).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii5IUihNuno

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former State University of New York Maritime College student Geraldo Rivera. I don’t know how a place can be a university and a college, but it does make sense that crazy ol’ Geraldo went there.

*****

• Due to state budgetary restrictions, Nevada is close to losing Division I status. It’s wrong to blame the Boise State kicker right? Right?

• South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia is now officially suspended indefinitely for misbehaving at a “SEC-mandated event.” The rumor is he showed up drunk. Hm, that’ll do it.

• ESPN’s David Ubben reviews Big 12 coaching moves. It’s mostly filler until you realize how fun it is to say “Chad Glasgow” in a funny Scottish accent. It’s comedy, people.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg profiles Purdue QB Rob Henry with words and moving pictures. Internet tycoon!

• Clemson has a new offense, and if I’m to judge based solely on this one picture of new QB Tajh Boyd, it either involves extra padding or extra pudding.

• Run with USC WR Robert Woods. He has a camera strapped to him, so really you have no choice.

• Watch Alabama coach Nick Saban‘s statue being built. It’s actually pretty cool — a lot of back sweat went into this.

• 247Sports ranks the top 247 prospects of the 2012 recruiting class. I’d tell you more, but The Solid Verbal is yet to receive a media account for this wonderful site. Ahem. <— Shameless

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly and Urban Meyer talk spread offense tactics. It’s a nerdy delight.

• Notre Dame LB Manti Te’o probably won’t play in the Irish spring game. It’s just a precautionary measure to give his knee more recovery time and … HEY TY GET DOWN FROM THERE HE’S GOING TO BE FINE.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Stephen Colbert learning to high tea. Yes, that’s a verb.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Michigan alum Rich Eisen, who, if the NFL lockout continues, could find himself with a lot of time to enjoy Michigan Stadium’s new video board.

*****

• Iowa DB Willie Lowe, one of the Hawkeye players who suffered from rhabdomyolysis, asked for his release from the program.

• Arizona State took a big hit with star CB Omar Bolden and WR TJ Simpson both going down with torn ACLs. They’ll still beat Arizona.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich predicts 1,000 yd ACC running backs and has now decided to include my new favorite, Wake Forest RB Josh Harris. ‘Bout time.

• TCU has new uniforms and helmets.

• ESPN’s Chris Low has an Arkansas status update. As far as I can tell, the Hogs and RB Knile Davis are In a Relationship. See what I did there?

• A Pac-12 Network is a “done deal” for 2012. I’m already aimlessly sending out my resumé.

• More of those Ohio State gold pants medallions have hit the open market … on the History Channel. Cool?

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has some observations from Buckeye practice in Columbus. Quick, somebody check his pockets for gold pants!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett does the same from Pitt. He seems keen on coach Todd Graham.

• Fox Sports Florida looks at the new ways Gator coach Will Muschamp is running the Gators. I didn’t read the whole thing, but I assume this involves “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” sing-a-longs in the locker room.

• Rivals profiles new Baylor DC Phil Bennett and previews Kansas State’s spring.

• Nebraska turned down the Big Ten Network‘s offer to broadcast their spring game for fear that somebody would study the tape. Hark!

• Michigan is installing a new ginormous video board in Michigan Stadium. It’s expected to work well for awhile but still need some rebuilding.

• Ole Miss‘s new black bear mascot met with children. They weren’t all thrilled.

• Oregon DE Terrell Turner is out for the spring with a leg injury. You may remember him from such video situations as “towering over Ty and laughing.”

• The Name of the Year bracket is finally up!!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the new music video from The Lonely Island, containing language that’s nowhere near safe for your work.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N24fVEJyQKM

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community’s Yvette Nicole Brown, a proud Akron graduate who should be watching the Zips upset Notre Dame today. You laughed yesterday at my Morehead State reference and look what happened. Don’t doubt me! Or the Zips!

*****

• The NCAA upheld the suspensions of five Ohio State players for selling memorabilia, and then Buckeye coach Jim Tressel self-extended his own suspension to five gamesfor not disclosing knowledge. Who would’ve thunk it would’ve all happened during day one of the NCAA Tournament? Amazing!

Oh and the NCAA hasn’t ruled on Tressel yet so it’s all just PR at this point. Still amazing!

SI’s Andy Staples writes about this using more words than I’m willing to give you for free.

• FINALLY, somebody writes something about Florida’s spring.

• NBC Miami is reporting that up to six Miami players will be suspended for their home opener against Maryland. This story seems to agree with the earlier OT Seantrel Henderson rumor.

• GQ says LSU fans are the tenth worst in all of sports. The picture they chose to illustrate this, well, doesn’t.

• ESPN’s David Ubben bullet points what he saw in Columbia during Missouri’s spring practice. The word “Gabbert” is tossed around quite a bit, whatever that means.

• EDSBS has a condiment bracket. This has nothing to do with college football and everything to do with condiments. Oh and it’s mostly incorrect.

• An Auburn blog is outraged with an off-air Paul Finebaum speech in which he (hark!) seems very much pro-Alabama.

• Rivals Primers: Florida State and Arizona. All Some Stoopseseses must go!!

• Hey Nebraska players, don’t get fat. Thanks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is movie titles said aloud in movies. Jumanji!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V1sYNvKZt8

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU alum Aubrey Plaza. Ugh, whatever.

*****

• The other man in the Yahoo!!!!!! recruiting service story, Baron Flenory, opens up about his former recruiting service and defends allegations of steering kids to Oregon. Scandal!

• CBS Sports’s Adam Jacobi previews Nebraska’s spring. He’s as optimistic as anyone can be over spring practice.

• Speaking of which, here’s vintage Nebraska video inspiration. Go to seven minutes in and soak it all in. And by “it,” I mean an insane Christian Peter (via edsbs).

• South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia has been suspended for the start of spring practice for disciplinary reasons stemming from having two girls in his hotel room pre-Chick fil A Bowl. I’m outraged.

• Missouri has to replace QB Blaine Gabbert. Luckily, they have pro surfer Laird Hamilton to make the tough QB decisions.

• Things are going to be “blue collar” at Florida, says new Florida coach Will Muschamp. Terrific. I hope this means the coach will operate a crane or do some welding before and after games.

• Is Iowa under-signing? Possibly.

• The lawyer who tipped off Ohio State coach Jim Tressel is receiving death threats. I can’t imagine why Kirk Herbstreit wanted to leave such a beautiful place.

• Rivals previews North Carolina’s spring. They do the same for NC State, only it links to the UNC page. Well-played!

• Colorado QB Tyler Hanson is doing an admirable job so far this spring, according to a guy named “Rip.”

• The first look EA Sports’s NCAA ’12. Sports Nerd Pr0n!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best ukelele Journey cover ever done by an Israeli-born troubadour. Trust me.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by political advisor and LSU alum James Carville, who must be just as excited about his school’s association with Will Lyles as I am. Also, Bill Hader does a good job aping Carville while wearing a bald wig, yelling Cajun gibberish, and shoulder-laughing.

*****

• The State of Indiana’s occupational safety agency found Notre Dame liable for six separate violations related to the death of a student videographer on a hydraulic lift.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd catches up with new Florida OC Charlie Weis about his Gator experience thus far.

• Speaking of which, new positions were announced for last year’s hybrid Florida QBs Jordan Reed (TE) and Trey Burton (F-Back?).

• The Big 12 and Fox are speaking seriously. And the Pac-12 is sprinting the other way. Congrats, Big 12!

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich thinks you college football playoff people are big ol’ meanie dumb-dumbs.

• Ohio State coach Jim Tressel issued a non-apology to fans at an Ohio State banquet. Integrity!

• LSU paid dubious recruiting person Will Lyles $6,000 for recruiting services. It was completely legal, but could be illegal at some point. Or something.

• SI’s Bill Trocchi asks and answers Big East questions.

• Rivals previews South Carolina and Pitt. I’m concerned “buzz” may be a little too strong a word in any Pitt preview.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Bill Hader talking about things. Always good enough for me.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Boston College alum Amy Poehler. She’ll probably never come down from the high associated with this specific achievement.

*****

• The lawyer who tipped off Ohio State coach Jim Tressel to the activities and associations of five of his players has been identified. He seems, well, interesting.

• Florida practices are closed to everyone. Intrigue! Or just inconvenience and undeserved self-importance after a bad year.

• Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson can get sassy.

• Boise State hosted the Oklahoma coaching staff. “Hey remember when we came back with the hook and… yeah.”

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Charles Robinson isn’t done breaking hearts.

• ESPN’s Chris Low gets all sorts of detailed about Georgia’s spring.

• Oregon State could look relatively different (see: possibly no Rodgerseseses) this fall.

• Easy classes for Stanford athletes will be harder to find after a “courses of interest” list has been discontinued. Poor, poor Stanford kids.

• Things on offense may get a bit “simpler” at Nebraska.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel got off easy when he received his Big 12 preview assignment and saw that he only had to look at ten questions.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday issues a first glance at Nevada going forward. And then a second, third, and fourth. He’s thorough.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart examines LSU. SPOILER: Everything looks pretty good except for the most important position.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall advises the NCAA on how to govern social media. Sex, drugs, and Satan are all in there.

• SB Nation has a new stat-minded football blog. Huzzah!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a 1982 Advertiser Promotion Tape from MTV. Radical.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlQntJI8UPE

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Tufts University student Jessica Biel. Fun Fact: I once saw her execute a perfect flip throw-in during a club soccer game like twelve years ago. More Fun Facts: Tufts is known as the Jumbos, wears baby blue, and went 1-7 last year. They basically own Hamilton.

*****
• Oregon is willing to comply with any questions the NCAA has regarding their use of recruiting services. While they’re at it, I wouldn’t be completely against the NCAA forcing Oregon to institute quality late night food establishments on 13th St. Do what needs to be done, guys.

• ESPN’s David Ubben recaps a somewhat eventful weekend in the Big 12 (Iowa State arrests!). Excuse me, eventful for early March.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa is still healing from his achilles injury. I have the video to prove it. Fine, ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has the video.

• Virginia Tech went to the Orange Bowl — yaaaay!!!! Virginia Tech lost $1.6 million doing so — awwwww!!!

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer visited Rutgers and talked to coach Greg Schiano about the progress of paralyzed DT Eric LeGrand and the future of Rutgers football.

• If there’s an NFL lockout, playing on Sundays could maybe sort of become a college football option, but probably kind of.

• Tim Tebow and Urban Meyer get caught up in the forbidden dance at Disneyworld.

• Washington players have been exercising. Good idea, guys.

• Rivals’s Mike Huguenin (pronounced An-der-son) looks at problematic 2011 defensive position situations.

• Rivals also previews Utah going into the spring. This includes the casual inclusion of a possible new QB named “Griff.”

• Virginia fans took Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow” and made it “Blue and Orange.” It’s so much worse than you think it is.

• A former Auburn basketball player also threw his proverbial rap hat into the ring with a Toomer’s Corner video. I get that people want to express their feelings through music, but wher are the emo and/or rockabilly versions?

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is “The President’s Speech.”

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnxNnJYziMY

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter here.

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about Lane Kiffin, quarterbacks in the SEC, the bear population in Mississippi, and tattoos.  Plus, what the F is the Internet?

Ty and Dan talk with Kirk Bohls from the Austin American-Statesman about Mack Brown’s struggles in 2010, the overhaul of the Texas coaching staff, and the impact of losing a BCS Championship game.

Ty and Dan examine the strange case of “Al from Dadeville,” the ballad of Rick Neuheisel, and the various assistant coaching hires around the country.  Plus, listener messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by South Carolina native Vanna White. I can’t imagine she’s happy after Jadeveon Clowney chose the Gamecocks over her own Atlanta Institute of Fashion. Also, White is only the sixth Chorus sponsor to have both “lesbian affair” and knitting” in the same Wikipedia “Personal Life” section.

*****

• Prized DE recruit Jadeveon Clowney announced that he will be attending South Carolina (over Alabama or Clemson) this fall. And 5-7 other yet-to-be-determined recruits will be told they’ll be leaving on their own accord soon. Exciting times!

Oh, and there are eligibility questions.

Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at where this puts South Carolina.

Who wrote about Clowney committing to a sandwich? I’ll tell you who — Spencer Hall of EDSBS, that’s who! Oh ok, that makes sense.

• Arizona State RB Deantre Lewis was shot this past weekend, but apparently avoided any serious injury. That’s a pretty great second part of a sentence to write.

• The Pac-12 has hired former VP of Officiating for the NFL Mike Pereira to overhaul their officiating program. Pac-12 officiating blogs are collectively abuzz.

• 2010 was awful for Texas. Important people anonymously tell us what happened. And now there are MS Paint penises to show you the Longhorns’ offseason in detail. Of course there are.

• ESPN’s bloggers compile valentines to various teams from readers. I’m operating under the assumption that most of the Big East entries are written by made-up people.

Similarly, from the bloggers themselves, there are also valentines and  heartbreakers . Get it? HAHAHAHAH kinda.

• Seattle Seahawks secondary coach Jerry Gray signed with Texas in the same capacitiy for a bit, but has now left to become the DC for the Tennessee Titans. In response, recently-hired Arizona DB coach Duane Akina is going back to Texas to coach the secondary, the same position he held last year. Hurray!

• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is officially getting paid. The right way.

• The latest from the Sam Keller/EA Sports lawsuit. Ty is expected to be brought to the stand to complain about Not Jeremiah Masoli‘s presence on the Oregon roster in the 2011 incarnation.

• Phil Steele has a Top 10 for 2011. It seems like just yesterday that he was the only forecaster with Oregon out of the top 60 before their 2009 Pac-10 championship season and Rose Bowl run. I may have stammered and argued poorly, but I won!!

• The Wiz has an excellent new unsanctioned Mississippi State billboard.

• Do you want to see Justin Bieber answer his phone after his MIke Gundy ringtone goes off? I kinda did.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Weezer performing the full State Farm Insurance song. And it’s probably better than most of their last three albums.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaaHevyxvvA

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Farley, who apparently loved the Green Bay Packers. And Paul McCartney.

*****

• Top OT recruit Cyrus Kouandjio signed with Alabama after all. Auburn fans are claiming recruiting shenanigans, which is funny because Auburn fans are claiming recruiting shenanigans.

This includes the daughter of former Auburn coach Pat Dye, who herself was active on Kouandjio’s Facebook page. Classy.

• ESPN’s Desmond Howard and CBS’s Phil Simms had to separated over Simms’s anger over Howard’s tweets re: Simms’s son, Tennessee QB Matt Simms. It’s all very exciting.

• According to ESPN’s Joe Schad, former Michigan QB Tate Forcier is down to five lucky schools. It’s like The Bachelor but with an undersized, overrated, pouty QB.

• Nebraska is trying to hire former QB and current Oregon WR coach Scott Frost to an open offensive coaching position. He’s apparently well-liked by Huskers coach Bo Pelini, which seems to make him the only one right now.

• There are new assistants in the B1G Ten. Rejoice!

• Touted Florida QB recruit Jacoby Brissett made a decision (Florida) and faxed in his LOI. Beeeeeee dooooooooo buuunnnnnn bunnn krrrrrrrrrrr shhhhhhhhhh. That’s what a fax machine kind of sounds like.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel tries to figure out what exactly Alabama coach Nick Saban is talking about when he addresses the Tide’s funny little oversigning habit.

• Some Ole Miss fans aren’t giving up the Colonel Reb fight. And they’ve taken to the streets! Ok, billboards.

• USC DL coach Ed Orgeron is the subject of an NCAA investigation. Of all the coaching staffs of all the teams in college football…

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Christina Aguilera’s Super Bowl national anth. What? If she can skip parts, so can I.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=byWqsfP1eKo

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oklahoma alumnus Olivia Munn. I could be wrong, but head to head, I’m going with the Sooner recruiting class of 2011 to outlast Munn’s NBC show, “Perfect Couples.”

*****

• Rich Rodriguez talks about his time in Ann Arbor with CBS’s Dennis Dodd. If you can believe it, he’s a bit defensive. See what I did there? Nailed it.

• Alabama had a dance team girl retrieve faxed-in letters of intent during Alabama’s live video stream Wednesday. She was wearing her uniform and is attractive. Dun dun DUN.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini celebrated the Huskers’ great class on Signing Day by not holding a press conference and getting rid of some the staff members that brought in the 2011 class. Buzzkill.

• Florida QBs Trey Burton and Jordan Reed are no longer QBs in OC Charlie Weis’s offense.

• Undecided QB recruit Jacoby Brissett (West Palm Beach, FL) is rumored to be announcing for Florida tonight. And he would be a QB in OC Charlie Weis‘s offense.

• UCLA QB Kevin Prince is still hurt. I copy/pasted that sentence from an item in October.

• The list of players invited to the NFL Combine has been released. Upon first glance, I noticed the oversight of no Lafayette Leopards. They’ll make you pay, NFL, they’ll make you pay.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers analyze the recruiting cycle for the various teams and conferences they cover. I now know BYU has an incoming OT named Ryker Mathews, who is now my favorite incoming BYU OT.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has updated his too-early Top 25 after Signing Day. We can now all exhale.

• ESPN/ABC analyst Bob Griese retired from broadcasting after a 30 year career calling games. Now it’s just time to relax and enjoy life. And tacos.

• Touted 2011 OT recruit Cyrus Kouandjio still doesn’t know where he’s going to sign. I say we give the kid a break — have you ever had ONLY two years to make A decision. Exactly, back off.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) looks at how the roster of new coaches fared on their first Signing Day.

• The Class of 2011 is soooooo earlier this week. SB Nation’s Andy Hutchins looks to 2012.

• Auburn has behind-the-scenes video from Wednesday. Gene Chizik is a RIOT.

• Ditto for Illinois, though it appears there may have been technological snafus. Yeah, I said “snafus.”

• New SDSU coach Rocky Long is not a fan of BYU.

• Mitch Mustain will NOT be charged with selling prescription narcotics. Whew.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy wakeboarding through cranberries. Damnit, now I need some Ocean Spray.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGf6earGAOc

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Brandon Huffman from Scout.com and Chris Pool of ESPN and Scouts, Inc. to discuss all the action from National Signing Day, including the rise of Oregon and Auburn, the fall of UCLA, the marathon coverage by ESPNU, and thunder snow.

Because it’s much easier to just list things than figuring out a cohesive narrative, I organized a chaotic National Signing Day into three thoroughly unoriginal categories.

The Good

Florida State
Certain words come to mind when looking at the players Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher signed, but I’ll go with “unfair.” Depth on both lines has been exponentially secured for years to come and speed has been added to both the offensive and defensive backfields to further load (all from FL) what looks to be the ACC Atlantic division favorite for years to come. Despite all of this, the first thing I think about? E.J. Manuel better not screw this up.

Isiah Crowell
What’s better than announcing your commitment to the big school in your home state (Georgia)? Doing it with a puppy, that’s what. Shrewd.

Urban Meyer
Here’s what we want from our analysts – homework, opinions, and an ability to articulate both of these things in a clear, concise manner. Urban Meyer intimately knew what he was talking about (having recruited most of the prospects he spoke of), took clear positions, and seemed natural doing so 4-5 hours into an all-day broadcast.

USC
There are a lot of reasons why USC is an attractive place to play – location, opportunity, academics, tradition, and exposure come to mind. I’m not sure the promise of development, college coaching success, and program stability fall into that list, which is why the Trojans nabbing ten Rivals 100 players is all the more impressive. Somebody smarter than I now needs to place all this potential in “Potential Transfers,” “Potential Troublemakers,” and “Potential Somehow Reached” columns.

DeAnthony Thomas
Come on, you had to be expecting this here.

This VW Commercial
I saw it yesterday, so it counts.

The Bad

Iron Bowl Pressures
Noted prospects Brent Calloway (OLB) and Cyrus Kouandjio (OT) struggled with their decisions between Alabama and Auburn (and possibly New Mexico or Iowa in Cyrus K’s case) to the point that Calloway had to go into hiding before announcing (Alabama) and Kouandjio developed a nervous tick and couldn’t sleep in the days leading up to Signing Day. I’m assuming the daily phone calls from coaches and ‘round-the-clock harassment from competing fanbases didn’t particularly help. Cut to Kouandjio, despite announcing for Auburn, not sending in his letter of intent, as he remains unsure.

Savon Huggins + Michael Eubank
Two dumb announcement strategies (Huggins to Rutgers, Eubank to ASU) — picking up a hat and either putting it on or almost putting it on before deciding to don another school’s headwear. Weak.

Rick Neuheisel
Go to UCLA. Walk around campus any time of the year. If Rick Neuheisel can’t attract (alleged) top football talent to either stay home in LA or come to LA anymore, he’s doing it wrong. Well, he’s doing it wrong.

Class Rankings
A constant focus of the coverage, even though it’s impossible to realistically compare one group to another when schools have such varying recruiting styles and needs. The silver lining here is almost everyone agreed on a mix of the three or five schools who brought in the most bountiful haul. Even CBS’s Tom Lemming finally put his long-known Notre Dame bias behind him and agreed that … oh jeez, did he really do this again?

License Plate Decisions
Todd Peat, a defensive tackle from Arizona, who by all means may be a terrific human being, chose Nebraska over Arizona State after spotting a Nebraska license plate in his home state, which he interpreted as a sign to choose the Huskers over the hometown Sun Devils. This begs the question — how did he not see Arizona plates in Tempe???

The Uncomfortable

A Different Chris Carter

Ohio State received one less letter of intent than expected after giant OL recruit Chris Carter was arrested for “sexual imposition,” allegedly lying to girls about measuring them for ROTC uniforms. Excuse me, THE “sexual imposition.”

Mitch Mustain, Amateur Pharmacist
Well, that ends that story. Mitch Mustain: Signing Day to Signing Day.

Hokeriguez
Rich Rodriguez took part in an interview of new Michigan coach Brady Hoke. I couldn’t have been the only one to hear the Curb your Enthusiasm theme in the back of my head while watching this, right?

*****
Follow me on Twitter at @Dan_Rubenstein.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community star, The Soup host, and Washington alumnus Joel McHale, who certainly must hope a redshirt year served some good with Nick Montana.

*****

• Urban Meyer is joining ESPN. I’m on board — smart people being given microphones is generally a good thing. SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) and Spencer Hall discuss.

• With Signing Day tomorrow, Rivals.com sat their writers around a proverbial roundtable to discuss various topics. Today’s thoughts on the Egyption uprising were particularly provocative.

• Rivals also looks at which incoming redshirt freshmen could make the biggest impact in 2011. If Washington QB Nick Montana is even half the QB Jake Locker was, well, they’ll be in serious trouble.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks Jadeveon Clowney is going to be very good for an SEC school. Such courage.

• Florida president Bernie Machen wrote a mini-column for SI.com about oversigning. He’s against it.

• Purdue is now banned from recruiting at a Tampa, FL high school after pulling a scholarship offer to WR A.J. King, who requires knee surgery.

• Four years ago, ESPN named their 150 top high school prospects. See how they fared in college. Or not. It’s up to you, really.

• Scout.com has a “Road to Signing Day” blog where you can follow all of your favorite recruiting stories. And some you just can’t stand.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at Texas coach Mack Brown and 2011 Texas Longhorn recruiting success. If conventional recruiting wisdom is correct, though, Texas will be hit hard in 2012, the recruiting cycle that began during the 2010 season. But probably not.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at the best recruiting classes of the decade. A one-armed Glenn Dorsey still gives me goosebumps.

• Rutgers QB Tom Savage will now be allowed to transfer within the state of Florida. I have a feeling we’ll soon be hearing Savage’s name in the same sentence as “national championship” soon — as in “Miami couldn’t have possibly won this national championship if they signed Rutgers castoff Tom Savage.”

• And finally, no more scooters for Maryland.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for a documentary about Lemmy from Motorhead, entitled, “Lemmy.” I’m particularly excited for Triple H’s insight.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-_Ol3XT6F0

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Bryan Fischer from CBSSports.com to discuss all the latest recruiting news, National Signing Day, and how to balance bathroom breaks with prospect announcements.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Iowa alumnus and Willy Wonka himself, Gene Wilder. As far as I know, Wilder never faced serious workout-related kidney overuse. Damn, now I need some chocolate.

*****

• A dozen Iowa players were hospitalized with rhabdomyalysis, a kidney condition that stems from, essentially, working out too much and overexerting the kidneys. Iowa Football: We Piss Excellence … and Dirty Brownish Urine.

• College football conferences made a record $170 million from bowls in 2010-11. That’s like pre-hooker Charlie Sheen money, right there.

• Ohio State hired Florida RB coach Stan Drayton to coach Buckeye WRs. Mr. Drayton, please turn in your playbook and oversized wristband.

• ESPN’s David Ubben reviews the recruiting needs of the Big 12. It wasn’t fair of him, given their conference movement and recent turmoil, to put up a giant “EVERYTHING” next to Colorado.

• ESPN’s Joe Schad reports that Tate Forcier is considering nine different schools for his impending transfer — three of which are FCS programs. Didn’t expect to see Florida A&M in the Forcier sweepstakes, but now they’re who I’m rooting for. Rattler Up!

• Former Florida DB Will Hill claimed a hacker took over his Twitter account and somehow it was the fault of “some blogger” for posting the choice tweets. I don’t see how there could be any holes in this story.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel explains how USC coach Lane Kiffin is dancing around the school’s NCAA sanctions.

• Former touted West Virginia QB Barry Brunetti decided to transfer a few weeks ago and now we can all have a great Wednesday knowing he will be taking his talents to Oxford, MS to play for Ole Miss.

• Rich Rodriguez will serve as an analyst for CBS College Sports on National Signing Day. Yep.

• Texas A&M’s AD Bill Byrne is being a Longhorn Network buzzkill. As he should be.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Seinfeld. But serious.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z14_-En-JTk

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Lance Armstrong — (alleged) doping cyclist, (former) Kate Hudson chauffeur, and (current) fan of the Texas Longhorns and, presumably, their new network.

*****

• The University of Texas and ESPN will team up for some sort of 20 yr/$300m network. I don’t know you fill all that airtime around one school, but I think we can all agree the world will be a better place if ladychaps make it to air.

• Former Florida DB Will Hill is excellent at Twitter.

• Michigan has added Baltimore Ravens DC Greg Mattison to its staff in the same capacity. Always smart to jump on a low-bar opportunity.

• Pitt coach Todd Graham is filling out his staff with multiple former Michigan coaches. The newest is TE coach Todd Dews. Yep, It’s that kind of Wednesday.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has the latest in a “soap opera” involving a below average LA college football program. Which one, you ask? Click and find out!

• SI.com’s Andy Staples wrote an All-Name column, revealing God’s Power Offer to the world. About time.

• All five suspended Ohio State players will be back in 2011. The Capital One Bowl is PUMPED.

• The Wiz has his ten favorite “classless” moments of the year.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is fighter planes doing fighter plane stuff. Bew bew!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEe3xfWfkG8

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by January Jones and the Golden Globes. And her appearance at some awards show last night.

*****

• LSU coach Les Miles turned downed Michigan for the second time and leveraged the interest to no raise and a smaller buyout. I stopped trying to understand all things LSU a long time ago.

• Former Iowa RB Adam Robinson apologized for his marijuana possession charges and wants back on the team. If all works out, I have the PERFECT house for him to rent.

• TCU OC Justin Puente is going to interview to fill the same position at LSU.

• … and so will former Louisville and Tulsa coach Steve Kragthorpe.

• Florida hired former 49er great Bryant Young to be a co-defensive line coach. He has almost no coaching experience, which almost always means coach Will Muschamp thinks he can recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit.

• Houston QB Case Keenum was granted a 13th year of eligibility.

• Tulsa named assistant Bill Blankenship their new head coach. Ok then.

• Tennessee RB David Oku is transferring. Ugh, an overrated 5-star RB leaving Tennessee after underachieving is sooooooooo 2010.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall laments Auburn’s post-Newton situation and ends up talking about chest hair.

• Georgia DE/OLB Justin Houston is skipping his senior year to play in the NFL. This comes after a number of Georgia players skipped various years in 2010.

• Is it too early to look at mock drafts? Probably, but here’s one from The Football Expert (aka the site of East Bay Greg, aka The Crown Prince of Backhanded Compliments).

• Auburn fans took pictures at Wal-Mart with stacks and stacks of Dr. Pepper cases. Oh, and what is probably a replica of the BCS national championship trophy. This makes me feel a little better, actually.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Ricky Gervais’s monologue from last night’s Golden Globes. It was so good, he’s already been asked not to return next year.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvHXzP2SpLA

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NBC News’s Chris Hansen, a proud Michigan State graduate who takes down pedophiles. I assume he was too busy trapping horrible people to watch the Capitol One Bowl. Speaking of pedophiles…

*****

• Charlie Weis is Florida’s new offensive coordinator. Brace yourself for eight solid months of people overanalyzing that sentence.

Oh and Seattle Seahawks DL coach Dan Quinn takes over the other side of the ball as Florida‘s defensive coordinator.

• UConn coach Randy Edsall is now Maryland coach Randy Edsall. It’s not a “splash hire” nearly as much as it is a leaf gently swaying in the wind before it delicately slides into place atop a silent pond.

• The team favored to win the Rose Bowl … won the Rose Bowl.

• Alabama got healthy and promptly beat up on Michigan State. Circle of life.

• New Pitt coach Mike Haywood is now former Pitt coach Mike Haywood (undefeated!) after he was charged with domestic violence.

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney has fired two offensive coaches after noticing that his team was sans football-moving abilities.

• Ohio St QB Terrelle Pryor has made an enemy in ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit. And that would be after Pryor received three moving violations in three shady loaner car deals. And a shady tattoo investigation. And breaking NCAA rules for selling jerseys and awards. Well played.

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden is joining Penn State QB Kevin Newsome on the transfer train. Prospects take note — it’s a good idea to actually take into account what type of offense is run at your school of choice.

• UConn RB Jordan Todman, the nation’s second leading rusher, declared for the NFL Draft. Sounds about right.

• UCF got a little punchy before during the on-field Liberty Bowl celebration.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have Orange Bowl previews, keys, and more!. Huzzah!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall channels his inner Jim Delaney in reviewing the Big 10‘s Saturday performance. It’s not pretty.

And then the real Jim Delaney channeled his inner Jim Delaney.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says Michigan‘s Gator Bowl performance against Mississippi State should spell the end of days for Rich Rodriguez.

• The Wiz has front pages from newspapers from around the country. I checked, he didn’t get any Beetle Bailey screencaps. Bah.

• BCS TV ratings are either amazing or horrible.

• If you attended the TicketCity Bowl, you probably had awesome seats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is polar bears playing with spy cameras. Obviously.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT0O2RyxnkY

Enjoy your Monday + Orange Bowl!

Ty and Dan discuss coaching moves at Maryland, Pittsburgh and (potentially) Michigan and haphazardly offer grades for various bowl teams.  Plus, previews for the remaining seven games, including the BCS Championship.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by high-school dropout and possible rules-violating Iowa booster Demi Moore, who is probably glad she learned Marcus Coker’s name just before last night’s Insight Bowl.

*****

• Iowa, led by RB Marcus Coker‘s huge game, flatted Missouri 27-24 in the Insight Bowl. The new goal in Iowa City is now preventing Coker’s name from ever ending up in the same sentence as “drug house” or “violating the team’s substance policy.”

• NC State gradually got by West Virginia 23-7 in a Champs Sports Bowl nearly devoid of sound offensive gameplanning or execution.

• The CEO of the Sugar Bowl lobbied for the suspended Ohio State players to play in his bowl to protect “the integrity” of his game. Ohio State is expected to release a statement after the Sugar Bowl kicks them out of bed and gives them cab fare.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is either moderately interested in the Maryland job or wants Zuckerburg money to be an offensive coordinator at Auburn.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have information aplenty for today’s games:

Military Bowl — Preview … Keys

Texas Bowl — Preview … Keys

Alamo Bowl — Both

• Miami QB Jacory Harris will probably start against Notre Dame in the Sun Bowl. Now we can all exhale.

• Former Florida coach Urban Meyer is “seriously considering” an analyst’s role at ESPN. How will everyone in his family get in a word when there’s only so much airtime to go around?

• Mississippi State QB Chris Relf will wear the number of late teammate Nick Bell in the Gator Bowl.

• West Virginia RB Shawne Altson signed into Facebook at halftime of yesterday’s Champs Sports Bowl. OMG LOLZ.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best scenes from Pixar movies cut together. Makes you wish you were a computer-generated underdog.

Enjoy your Wednesday + Military Bowl + Texas Bowl + Alamo Bowl!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Seth Galifianakis, brother of Zach and proud NC State graduate. Go Wolfpack!

*****

• Air Force beat Georgia Tech in the Triple Option Bowl in a game that can best be described as “14-7.” If anything, it was a victory for football purists — those who still aren’t fully on board with newfangled ideas like “the forward pass.”

Even Air Force‘s falcon briefly left the action in Shreveport.

• Sue Paterno, wife of Penn State coach Joe, is fighting back against rumors that her husband is in poor health and retiring in a week.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor will not, no matter his future plans, play in the Bucks’ first five games. A current high school senior probably will.

• North Carolina RB Anthony Elzy won’t play in the Music City Bowl because of “failing to meet his obligations as a student athlete.” Great, now the Music City Bowl means NOTHING.

• Four Florida players will miss the Gator Bowl after undergoing various surgeries. I’m calling it now — Muschamp-sponsored bionic limb introductions. Scandal!

• ESPN‘s bloggers are hard at work doing what they always do:

Insight Bowl — Keys … Preview

Champs Sports — Keys … Preview

• Texas Tech WR Adam James was upset about playing time under former coach Mike Leach. Things are WAY better now.

• Arizona had some famous former Wildcats call up the Alamo Bowl and talk up their school. Oh and they were all basketball players. Bowls!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a random video of Craig Ferguson singing and dancing with a guy in a tuxedo, three bikini girls, a robot skeleton, and an S&M dude. Why not?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwkK5-ibYcw

Enjoy your Tuesday + Champs Sports Bowl + Insight Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you, in honor of today’s Independence Bowl by “Broken Arrow,” the greatest of all the Air Force movies that happen to star John Travolta and Christian Slater of all time. Or the worst.

*****

• Last night, FIU beat Toledo 34-32 in the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl. The game involved a hook-and-ladder to save 4th and 17, a RB named “Adonis,” and enthusiasm from the broadcast team that can only be defined as “slightly above-average.”

FIU coach Mario Cristobol was pleased.

• Hawaii got killed by Tulsa Friday night in the Hawaii Bowl. Turnovers were prominently involved.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt suspended three players for the Liberty Bowl — RB Caleb King and two backups — for academic issues. Somehow, some way, the Liberty Bowl MUST GO ON.

• Georgia Tech plays Air Force in the Independence Bowl later today. They themselves will also be without three players for the first half (curfew infraction) and four others because of academic issues. Apparently in the state of Georgia, being academically ineligible for lower-level bowl games is the new black.

• ESPN also has keys and previews for tonight’s Independence Bowl. It’s all very exciting.

• Texas Tech DC James Willis may or may not be the new DC at Florida. But he probably is. I think. Ok, I have no idea.

• TCU and Wisconsin went to Disneyland. No report yet on which players got pineapple whips, the single best dessert to be had at The Happiest Place on Earth.

• A post Splash Mountain reaction from Wisconsin QB Scott Tolzien and TCU QB Andy Dalton. (via Dr. Sat)

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday ranks the best plays of the 2010 season. A good list, but a little too UCLA-heavy for my tastes.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nice collection of people getting injured due to snow and similar inclimate weather. Hilarity ensues.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAYexv4lnaY

Enjoy your Monday + Independence Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Navy alumnus David Robinson. How crazy is it that he both attended the Naval Academy AND is nicknamed “The Admiral”? Sometimes life just gets it right.

*****

• Boise State didn’t have much trouble with whatever it was that Utah became/always was. Now we can all look forward to an offseason filled with SEC fans once again labeling them as fraudulent and undeserving because they occasionally lose to a ranked team on the road. The horror!

• Boise State WR Austin Pettis passed it to himself. So there.

• Ohio State suspended six players for the first five games of 2011 for selling off their awards and rings. The names may sound familiar — Terrelle Pryor, Devier Posey, Dan Herron, Mike Adams, and Solomon Thomas.

• Temple has hired former Florida OC Steve Addazio to replace Al Golden as head coach. What? Oh right, they’re Temple.

• San Diego State is scheduled to play Navy tonight in San Diego’s Qualcomm Stadium for the Poinsettia Bowl. Oh and because of heavy rain for a week straight in southern California, Qualcomm Stadium is a kiddie pool. Fun!

• Soon to be former Florida coach Urban Meyer met with ESPN and did a little on-camera work yesterday. If he ends up there in some capacity, I expect one, and only one, fake laugh to be required in his contract.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson tells anybody who will listen what the keys are and what to watch for in tonight’s muddy Poinsettia Bowl. You can take her knowledge to the bank. Or the San Diego County Credit Union, as it were.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers select a team from their respective conferences that needs to “step up.” It’s only a normal “step up” demand, not a full-on “step up 2 the streets” situation.

• Soon to be former Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen wants to coach in 2011. The whole “2010 ACC Coach of the Year” thing is, at the very least, something that will only be seen on his resumé and cover letter.

• In preparation for El Paso’s Sun Bowl, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly confiscated the passports of his players, due to the proximity of Ciudad Juarez, the nearby Mexican border town whose biggest cultural highlight is still ruthless drug-fueled murder.

• Alabama is upgrading the facilities at the high school they’ll use to practice at in preparation for the Capital One Bowl. Oh and hey, look at that, the #1 safety prospect in the 2011 class (and Alabama commit) goes there. Rad.

• Georgia WR AJ Green denied a report that he’s already decided to forego his senior year and enter the NFL Draft. Which he definitely will do.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for Cedar Rapids, which looks to bring together Ed Helms, John C. Reilly, and State Senator Clay Davis.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJqFUWbITug

Enjoy your Thursday + muddy San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney, who, in an elaborate rouse, may be systematically taking down the Big Ten. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

*****

• Maryland OC James Franklin should soon become Vanderbilt’s next head coach. Adjust your day accordingly.

• More on the Big Ten’s outstanding PR Monday. I’m still confused as to which division is “Grandpa” and which is “Grandma.”

• After winning the Heisman, Auburn QB Cam Newton took his talents to the Ed Sullivan Theater and presented Letterman’s Top Ten list.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is officially staying put. And for his efforts, he’s getting a little something extra.

• Iowa suspended RB Adam Robinson. Oh, and RB Jewel Hampton has decided to transfer. One more thing — everybody in Iowa City may be a drug enthusiast. DEVELOPING…

• Texas RB coach Major Applewhite will not be coaching at Florida this season. Unless, of course, he is. Which he isn’t.

• Nobody knows what’s going on with Bill Stewart and West Virginia. One thing is certain though — Jack Bogaczyk’s byline picture is way too big.

• The Meineke Car Care Bowl will become the Belk Bowl next year. I don’t know what “Belk” is, so I’ll just assume Charlotte’s bowl is being sponsored by the underside of a pygmy horse.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall ranks the new coaching hires. And then it just spins off into a frantic rhyming nightmare, per usual.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples does much of the same, but his column includes new Miami coach Al Golden standing next to Sebastian, Miami’s mascot — and they don’t look entirely unlike each other. I like it.

• How Florida AD Jeremy Foley convinced Will Muschamp to come to Gainesville. So. Many. Wristbands.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy doing everything better than I can. This is what “cool” is.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly, who I saw on a Texas sideline once (but didn’t take this picture). Mack Brown has since blamed them for this season’s slide.

*****

• Since we last spoke, everybody has hired a new coach (image via). Ahem:

Florida convinced Texas DC Will Muschamp (and his wristband) to leave the Austin Tire Fire for the Gainesville Tire Fire. EDSBS’s Spencer Hall reacts and makes it about blowfish sushi. Of course he does.

Miami hired Solid Verbal Guest (and Temple coach) Al Golden. He once hosted a training video.

Northern Illinois hired Wisconsin DC Dave Doeren.

Vanderbilt seemed to have hired Auburn OC Gus Malzahn, but he’s apparently not in any sort of need of $3 million. Or something.

• Arkansas essentially re-hired coach Bobby Petrino and made it so only Qatar State can buy him out.

• Auburn QB Cam Newton deservedly won the Heisman Trophy and is a consensus All-American.

Butttttt, the Football Writers Association of America did an independent investigation, proved and confirmed that Newton knew about his father’s solicitation the entire time, and subsequently left him off their Harumph Harumph Almost All-American team. I just can’t find a link of their findings yet. Rest assured, though, I will!!!!!

• Despite what he insisted, Urban Meyer may not be the picture of good health.

• I don’t know if I’m pumped or bummed out by this screengrab of Cam Newton and LaMichael James. James is also not impressed by flying Dumbos.

• Hawaii is officially a Mountain West team. So there’s that.

• The Big Ten, in unveiling its new logo and division names, revealed themselves to be exactly what we mostly thought they were — uh, dorks.

• ESPN’s Pat Forde says Texas coach Mack Brown has an uphill battle this offseason, as he needs to hire two new coordinators. Part of the application has leaked and obviously, if you want one of those jobs, certainly check the box next to, “Comfortable under bus?”

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno can’t hear you. But he can run the day-to-day of and make important decisions instantly for a gigantic football program. Yep.

• Navy beat Army again. You’re probably pumped if you own a peacoat.

• Nike will unveil new bowl uniforms for TCU, Boise State, Florida, and, if you can believe it, Oregon.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of lightning bolts.

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the late Leslie Nielsen, who was simply funnier than almost everyone else.

*****

• Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen isn’t going to Florida. Unless he is. In which case, Florida would just keep offering him more and more money. C’mon guys, this isn’t chicken science here.

• The best players in the country won awards last night. I’ve got to admit, in the picture, Auburn DT Nick Fairley looks casual and charming, I may be in the process of getting won over by him after all.

Editor’s Note: Nick Fairley sensed Dan typing his name and appeared out of nowhere, drove Dan into a wall, and ruptured six disks in Dan’s back.

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Oregon RB LaMichael James in the wake of the Ducks’ star winning the Doak Walker Award and attending Saturday’s Heisman ceremony as a finalist.

• Last night, Gameday’s Lee Corso was honored by ESPN at their College Football Awards. Long, but a well-done piece for one of the more likable fellows in college football.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is thinking over Vanderbilt’s reported $3 million offer to become the Commodores‘ new head coach. And if Malzahn declines, it’s going to James Franklin, Maryland’s OC. And if Franklin decides against it, they’re going with an adjunct sociology professor who needs the hours.

• Kentucky QB Mike Hartline was arrested for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and an allegation of assault. But the bowls, Mike, WHY WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE BOWLSSSSSSS!?!?

• Newly former Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt will coach the Panthers in the BBVA Compass Bowl, but like the rest of us, he’s just not sure what a BBVA Compass Bowl is.

• Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney tells teams from non-AQ conferences, “You will eat your vegetables, and you will like them, damnit!!”

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall breaks down yesterday’s USA Today op-ed column from BCS Dear Leader Bill Hancock.

• Penn State QB Kevin Newsome will probably soon be Another School QB Kevin Newsome. The same can be said for West Virginia’s Barry Brunetti. (via Dr. Saturday)

• Should Texas coach Mack Brown hire Mike Leach to run Texas’s offense? Richard Justice of the Houston Chronicle seems to think so, and if there’s anything I’ve learned while writing for literally dozens of people, it’s that you always listen to somebody who’s last name is JUSTICE.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a new movie in which Hugh Jackman apparently trains and promotes robots fighting each other in a steel cage. I … just … wow.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAhQA5gT62w

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Spencer Hall to discuss Urban Meyer’s latest retirement, the Cam Newton saga, and the lessons he’s learned traveling the United States of America.  Plus, cheap jokes about Pitt chasing Chris Petersen and Bo Pelini using Miami for a bigger payday at Nebraska.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Dunder Mifflin’s Toby Flenderson, who doesn’t look completely unlike Florida AD Jeremy Foley. Whatever, I didn’t want to give too much effort in choosing a Chorus sponsor today and this fit.

*****

• Urban Meyer stepped down as the coach of Florida yesterday so he can spend more time with his family. And there’s no way he’ll ever coach again or change his mind at a certain point. Unless, of course, he does.

The presumed candidates include names previously associated with both the school and Meyer, big names around football, and my own nominee — James from GatorsFirst.com. Because he puts the Gators FIRST.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall offered an initial reaction.

• ESPN’s Erin Andrews (Gator alumnus) reacts to Meyer’s resignation.

• Utah DE Christian Cox is promising a Ute win over Boise State in the Las Vegas Bowl. I may now watch the game just to see if the senior makes plays and we get to hear a lot of, “So much Cox!!” or “Cox comes up big!!” Ok I’ll stop.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor said he’d “dominate” if he had chosen to attend a school that, you know, was eager to take advantage of his otherworldly athletic talents.

• The Miami Herald reported that Nebraska granted coach Bo Pelini permission to speak with the Hurricanes about their head coaching vacancy, while Pelini and Nebraska deny everything.

• Speaking of which, Nebraska DT Baker Steinkuhler was cited for suspicion of a DUI and will be put on ice for the Holiday Bowl. See what I did there? I’ve been waiting all year for Baker Steinkuhler to be newsworthy, and frankly, I nailed it.

• Mike Leach will take any of your available jobs.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have all-conference teams. Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon was awarded a spot at 7 different offensive positions on the Big 12 list and I’m not sure you’re in any sort of position to question this.

• Iowa WR Derrell Johnson-Koulianos was officially charged with “keeping a drug house.” Some people go to the Hamptons, some to Aspen, and now, I suppose, Iowa City.

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley won the Lombardi Award, the trophy given to the nation’s top lineman. He was gracious in accepting the honor and then drove his helmet into the other nominees.

• BCS Dear Leader Bill Hancock wrote an op-ed piece in today’s USA Today defending the wonderful BCS.

• Former Oregon cheerleader Katelynn Johnson travels for a Fox Sports video segment, and you’re not going to believe this, but they had her play mud football. It’s like a much less sexy “SI Tour Guy.”

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag and addresses BCS modifications.

• I’ll be honest — one of the great things about being an Oregon fan in Los Angeles is that I’m far, far away from a lot of Duck fans. This guy included.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is fast food turned into sushi. BACONBACONBACONBACON.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXjxHQQxcLw

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought you by Maryland alumnus Larry David, who, because I need another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, needs to avoid any and all scooters.

*****

• Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen has not spoken with Urban Meyer about a position at Florida. But he has been have late night IM sessions with whoever “UrbzTeebz4lyfe” is. Totes.

• Nebraska fans are not pleased with OC Shawn Watson. Apparently, an offense that produces yards, first downs, and points against bad teams, but stops doing so good ones agitates people who invest a questionable amount of their emotions into college football. <— I’m one of you.

• Speaking of which, SB Nation’s Brian Cook unearths some rock solid schadenfraude. And hey, there’s Bo Pelini featured prominently!

• The Sports Business Journal has a chart of all the gifts that bowl games give to their participants. The Meineke Car Care Bowl didn’t disclose, so we’ll just assume everyone’s getting jewel-encrusted mufflers.

• CBS Sports’s Adam Jacobi reacts to Indiana hiring Oklahoma OC Kevin Wilson. His analysis is a bit more detailed than my reaction of, “Oh.”

• Miami has candidates in mind for their vacant head coaching job. Super! Congrats! Out of this world!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall writes a column listing things that caught his attention and they just happen to be in alphabetical order. The name of the column is “The Alphabetical” — wait a second…

• Utah QB Jordan Wynn will miss both the Utes’ bowl game against Boise State and spring practice after having shoulder surgery.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans wasn’t thrilled with the 2010 college football season. Sounds like he needs a year of being reassigned to the NFL to put things in perspective.

• The wacky Lee Corso mascot head has been recovered and two former Oregon students (not graduates, ahem) were cited for felony theft. I’ve always said it — if you’re going down for felony theft, go down doing it stealing an ironically large mascot head of a below-average former coach/charismatic morning show host. Always.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) reviews the Heisman finalist field. I haven’t been paying attention lately, but I still think Denard Robinson edges out Terrelle Pryor and Taylor Martinez.

• The Football Writers Association of America (FWAA) voted Oregon coach Chip Kelly as their coach of the year, awarding him the Eddie Robinson Coach of the Year award. No big deal.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel reveals this year’s seeded 16-team playoff. I have no arguments or qualms of any sort.

• The lines are out for the bowl games. If Chris the Capper doesn’t win our bowl pool, you’ll know he’s a complete fraud. Or a talented handicapper who did extremely well during the regular season and HITS A WALL WHEN IT COUNTS. Your move, Capper.

• New Colorado coach Jon Embree has a staff and a lot of them, well, were already there. That makes it easy — no nametags.

• Former Georgia QB Zach Mettenberger is now an LSU Tiger. Because really, the place to hone the craft of quarterbacking is and will always be Baton Rouge, LA.

• Teddy Bridgewater, the QB jewel of Miami’s 2011 recruiting class, has decommitted from Miami and opened up his recruitment. He’s expected to take visits with his close friend Tommy Tunnelmountain. Nailed it!!

• Scooters are taking out Maryland players one by one. Scary.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a little old, but still great. Law school applicants, please take note.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMvARy0lBLE

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you Nike founder Phil Knight. Thanks, Phil.

*****

• The official bowl schedule is out. I think we all remember where we were for our first Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl.

• The final coaches poll was released, and thus, we finally get to see each coach’s final ballot. It’s even more dumb and biased than we’ve thought all along. Hip hip.

• USC fans fought with UCLA fans because a football hit a car during the pre-game tailgate. It ended with stabbing. Officially, Reggie Bush is being blamed.

• Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer gets up, gets up, and gets down. (via edsbs)

• The AP’s Mark Long reports there are rumors Oklahoma State OC Dana Holgersen is being “eyed” by Florida. Or is using Florida to get, as Ty puts it, an eleventy billion dollar raise from the Cowboys.

• This has nothing to do with anything, but the first few paragraphs of this old CNN/SI profile of Dan Kendra are amazing.

• Given that the regular season is over, ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some pretty definitive power rankings. Oh and bowl overviews. And they’ve collectively made the finest guacamole of anybody ever featured here.

• The Texas Longhorns’ season, in MS Paint.

• And on that note, Texas OC Greg Davis officially resigned and two position coaches retired. Now Texas will go undefeated in 2011. Like for definitely.

• Ole Miss DT Jerrell Powe is going to play in the National Football League. Well, I guess we also thought that about Jevan Snead, so I’ll wait until April to say any more.

• Wisconsin‘s student paper named names. Of students bright enough to sell overpriced bowl tickets in what I’m assuming will be lousy seats in an uncomfortable stadium. Who wants to watch a game from an angle that makes it impossible to see Bret Bielema tasting blood?

• Word from Pullman, WA is Washington State is bringing back coach Paul Wulff. At least that’s what I can make of all those dots and dashes.

• USC student-agent Teague (Teague!!) Egan is now, thanks to NFLPA decertification, just a student. Oh, and a horrible person.

• Oregon play by play announcer Jerry Allen gets emotional during the last few seconds of Saturday’s Civil War. And if you know anything about Jerry Allen, you know that the fact that he was aware of the game clock status is something to celebrate.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel picks through the BCS storylines in this week’s College Football Overtime.

• Lee Corso‘s wacky mascot head has disappeared. Some clues have surfaced, but mostly, this story has made me want to dance to some Basement Jaxx.

• The Wiz has the week in shapshots, the week in video, and the new Colorado coaches arriving.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch.

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan review a handful of conference championship games and dissect a bunch of projected bowl pairings.

Ty and Dan take a look at the NCAA’s ruling on Cam Newton, TCU’s move to the Big East, E. Gordon Gee’s stupid comments, and the Miami coaching vacancy.  Plus, Verballer voice messages, e-mails and locks of the week.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Top Chef host (new season starts tonight) and Clark University alumnus Padma Lakshmi. Clark doesn’t have a football program, but damnit, just look at her.

*****

• Jon Gruden will apparently meet with Miami AD Kirby Hocutt today. I’m still not sure this happens and isn’t just a leverage ploy for an NFL job, but hey, I’m only ALWAYS right*.

*Except when I’m wrong.

• Donald Trump sent Miami president Donna Shalala another note recommending Mike Leach. Also, Mike Leach is recommending Mike Leach.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff isn’t sure if he’ll be back next season. It’s hard to tell — you know, because of the continued losing — but WSU has actually gotten better and could come close to a bowl next year. This makes me think that thse school is ready to scrap the whole thing and start over.

• Texas A&M has accepted a bid to play in the Cotton Bowl, where, presumably, they’d play Alabama or LSU and Colby Caillet will awkwardly serenade Mike Sherman. To honor the Aggies’ improved 2010 bowl bid, I’m wearing a regular ol’ t-shirt.

• More on USC student-agent Teague Egan (real name!) from The Wiz. Try making it through this without throwing up a little in your mouth. You don’t win a prize, but you do get the satisfaction of knowing a little bit of your soul has been chipped away.

• Nevada lost some dollars by beating Boise State.

• Clemson QB Kyle Parker will play in the Tigers’ bowl game. Not sure what Clemson did to deserve this, but take the information as you will.

• Florida‘s had a bad year. In all of it is proudly edited together here.

• Air Force coach Troy Calhoun isn’t interested in the Colorado job. And if Colorado hires former coach Bill McCartney, it will appear as if the school isn’t interested either.

• Florida State improved because it’s big dudes are good. OL Rodney Hudson is one of those big dudes.

• Illinois QB Nathan Scheelhaase is a redshirt freshman and isn’t completely horrible.

• The All-Mountain West teams are out and they’re … pretty much what you’d expect.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin says QB Matt Barkley will play against UCLA and points out that anonymous Pac-10 coaches are rooting for him against UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel.

• SB Nation’s Jon Bois takes to hating and appreciating kickers.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has bowl projections. I totally called Texas A&M to the Cotton Bowl a few items up!

• If Auburn doesn’t make QB Cam Newton available to the media ahead of the Saturday’s SEC championship, they’ll be fined. So weird to think about Auburn having to pay for Cam Newton. Hm.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features people getting hurt and humiliated in amusing fashion.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDg7CiHAPqg

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vanilla Ice. I have no idea if he’s a fan of Miami football and/or Randy Shannon, but I can no longer hear anyone say “A1A” without yelling out, “Beachfront Avenue!!!” so I’m sliding him in today.

*****

• TCU is joining the Big East and it will join in all sports (after the 2011-12 academic year). It’s about time -- Coach Gary Patterson can finally tell Texas kids they’ll get to play on Thursday nights in Piscataway, NJ. Where do I sign?

• Miami fired coach Randy Shannon and won’t hire Jon Gruden. Unless they will, which they almost certainly will not.

• Michigan AD Dave Brandon is yet to evaluate coach Rich Rodriguez’s performance, but will do so in about a month. Most important Insight Bowl ever?

• The newest BCS standings are out. Northern Illinois is ranked higher than Florida, Texas, USC, and Georgia.

• Florida DL coach and former Iowa State head coach Dan McCarney is the new head coach at North Texas. Always happy for a “Dan” getting hired.

• You know how Ty and have said that Nebraska‘s fanbase was probably the nicest, most respectful fan base in college football? Well, they’re no longer making the rest of us look bad anymore — I present to you … Nebraska psychopaths!!

• The American Football Coaches Association has an All-American team. I bet they also have delicious pot lucks, go-kart races, and crazy slumber parties with scary stories. Or I’m just imagining that. But yeah right, it’s pretty much true.

• Cal DL coach Tosh Lupoi was suspended for instructing a player to fake an injury against Oregon. Because position coaches going rogue and instituting an individual position game plan without consulting anyone else sounds complete plausible. Mr. Lupoi, here comes the bus, we’re just going to give you a light shove and be on our way.

• Indiana coach Bill Lynch was fired and is now just plain ol’ citizen Bill Lynch.

• Vanderbilt coach Robbie Caldwell will step aside now that his interim year has concluded. That sound you’re hearing is some very excited (or terrified) turkeys.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will fix the Gators by recruiting “tough” players. He then added,