Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the number one Miami fan (and graduate) in national TV news, Chuck Todd. I’ll bet he’s working for the weekend.

*****

• The death penalty has not been broached by the NCAA re: Miami.

• There is no NCAA realignment summit, according to NCAA president Mark Emmert. That’s what they want you to think.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris will miss some time (and possibly BC‘s opener) after undergoing knee surgery. This hits close to home — we feel what Spaziani feels.

• Miami coach Al Golden wanted a little heads up, that’s all.

• LSU coach Les Miles now says WR Russell Shepard could possibly sit out the Oregon game after all while his compliance issue gets sorted out. Oops.

• Florida released a statement indicating that their players mentioned in the Yahoo! Miami report are cleared to play. Whew.

• Same goes for Kansas State’s Brown brothers, they of paper and high school fame.

• ESPN’s Chris Low asks Auburn QB questions. I’d answer, but my lawyer has advised me against any such action.

• Wisconsin AD and former coach Barry Alvarez (and son) lost over a million dollars to the Ponzi scheme of former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro.

• Former Miami AD Paul Dee wanted the guillotine dropped on USC. He has some ‘splaining to do.

• I apparently went to the wrong UCLA practice.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews the “invisible” USC Trojans.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder has a Pac-12 preview.

• Central Florida has mail!

• Penn State still needs a quarterback.

• Nebraska CB Alfonzo Dennard has a bum leg. Not an actual bum’s leg, but rather just an injury. I’m positive you needed that clarification.

• TCU QB Casey Pachall (“Pa-ha” is what I’m told) has a bum shoulder. This one ACTUALLY IS a bum’s shoulder.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy dancing with a bottle opener in front of a cheetah mural. A senior citizen makes a cameo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkdIVJ3Nngo

Enjoy your Thursday. Support support support. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the late (and still awesome) Phil Hartman, former CSUN employee. He also sings today’s Video of the Day song. He’s that good.

*****

• According to documents released yesterday to The Oregonian, recruiting material Oregon paid for for 2011 prospects was mostly made up of class of 2009 recruits. Probably not ideal.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples reacts and thinks Oregon either got ripped off or shadiness was abound.

• Auburn pays employees. I know, right?

• Louisville CB Darius Ashley got a second DUI. It’s right around five or six where you really start getting concerned, I guess.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff ranks specific SEC linebackers and full SEC linebacking corps. Be on the lookout for a particularly sassy Alabama LB Dont’a Hightower.

• ESPN’s David Ubben ranks Big 12 RBs. Be on the lookout for a particularly sassy Texas A&M RB Christine Michael.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich ranks ACC RBs. I originally wrote “Heater Dinich,” which is a much cooler name.

• The Ohio BMV (not DMV!) said no “wrongdoing” was done when Ohio State football players purchased cars. I still can’t get over “BMV.”

• Former West Virginia coach Bill Stewart will be paid $1.65 million as a buyout. That’s a LOT of porches and lemonade.

• Football Study Hall previews Georgia Tech. What I gleaned is that the Yellowjackets run their offense really well, except when they don’t.

• “Central Florida is gonna getcha!” says SI.com’s Stewart Mandel.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the monorail song from The Simpsons. Just because it’s probably been too long for all of us.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF_yLodI1CQ

Enjoy your Tuesday. Buy things.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Alison Brie, who, with yesterday’s sponsor Gillian Jacobs, is stars on Community. And she’s on Mad Men. And … sorry, I lost my train of thought. Happy New Years!

*****

• North Carolina absorbed an admirable performance from Tennessee and Vol QB Tyler Bray, took advantage of a last-second clock reversal, and beat the Vols in two overtimes to win the Music City Bowl. So now we know that North Carolina is probably better than Tennessee. Yes!

• Washington cared and played well. Nebraska not so much. 19-7 Huskies.

• A throwaway touchdown celebration of a simple salute is basically everything that’s wrong with college football. And thus, Syracuse beats Kansas State.

• Army beat SMU. Lesson: Don’t invite teams to your bowl because you think they’ll sell tickets and be happy to spend the holidays at home. They won’t and they don’t.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James announced that he’ll return to the Ducks next year. When he heard the news, Jeff Tedford instinctively fell to the ground.

• Michigan QB Tate Forcier was ruled academically ineligible for the Gator Bowl. Note to future interviewees boasting about how hard it is to flunk out if you’re a football player: Just … don’t.

• ESPN’s CFB Bloggers get their previews and keys on:

Meineke Car Care — Keys … Preview

Chick-fil-A — Keys … Preview

Liberty — Keys … Preview

Sun — Keys … Preview

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel offers up his last mailbag of the year. If you enjoy depressing facts about bowl ticket guarantees, it’s the feel good column of the year.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck says he may stay in school. This actually seems plausible.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a series of feel-good “fails” from this past month. Injuries aplenty!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvqs0qr0Ulo

Enjoy your Friday + New Years + MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL!!!!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you, in honor of today’s Independence Bowl by “Broken Arrow,” the greatest of all the Air Force movies that happen to star John Travolta and Christian Slater of all time. Or the worst.

*****

• Last night, FIU beat Toledo 34-32 in the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl. The game involved a hook-and-ladder to save 4th and 17, a RB named “Adonis,” and enthusiasm from the broadcast team that can only be defined as “slightly above-average.”

FIU coach Mario Cristobol was pleased.

• Hawaii got killed by Tulsa Friday night in the Hawaii Bowl. Turnovers were prominently involved.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt suspended three players for the Liberty Bowl — RB Caleb King and two backups — for academic issues. Somehow, some way, the Liberty Bowl MUST GO ON.

• Georgia Tech plays Air Force in the Independence Bowl later today. They themselves will also be without three players for the first half (curfew infraction) and four others because of academic issues. Apparently in the state of Georgia, being academically ineligible for lower-level bowl games is the new black.

• ESPN also has keys and previews for tonight’s Independence Bowl. It’s all very exciting.

• Texas Tech DC James Willis may or may not be the new DC at Florida. But he probably is. I think. Ok, I have no idea.

• TCU and Wisconsin went to Disneyland. No report yet on which players got pineapple whips, the single best dessert to be had at The Happiest Place on Earth.

• A post Splash Mountain reaction from Wisconsin QB Scott Tolzien and TCU QB Andy Dalton. (via Dr. Sat)

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday ranks the best plays of the 2010 season. A good list, but a little too UCLA-heavy for my tastes.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nice collection of people getting injured due to snow and similar inclimate weather. Hilarity ensues.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAYexv4lnaY

Enjoy your Monday + Independence Bowl!

Ty and Dan analyze the latest on the Cam Newton situation in light of recent comments by purported associate Kenny Rogers.  Plus, e-mails, voice messages and Week 11 picks.

Ty and Dan return from their trips to Charlottesville and Oxford, respectively, and discuss a number of essential topics, from the low-intensity vibe of the Virginia faithful to the aesthetically pleasing “Grove” of Ole Miss.  Plus, the tandem tackles other topics, including:

• Phil Steele’s continued dominance in the college football prognosticating industry
• Central Florida referring reporters to a phone sex line instead of a George O’Leary press conference
• Clemson and it’s yearly egg-laying ritual; this time, against Alabama
• The curse of the Oregon quarterback
• Ty’s evolving reputation as Penn State alum
• The podcast’s onward march towards uncertain fame

E-mail the show with your thoughts: solidverbal@gmail.com