Ty and Dan break down the impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, Michigan’s triumph over Ohio State, the Heisman credentials of Montee Ball, UCLA’s march to Pac-12 South glory, and all the other action from Rivalry Week.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan rehash college football’s eighth week and discuss Kirk Cousins’ Hail Mary, James Franklin’s casual dress Saturday, Clemson’s chances of going unbeaten, and Nick Foles… in a winning effort!

Ty and Dan talk with Spencer Hall about Will Muschamp’s early marks, LSU-Alabama, the Big Ten, “We” Bombs, and a college football version of The Truman Show.  Plus, picks for all the big action during Week Eight.

Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Ty and Dan make their Week 6 Picks, talk about Missouri’s potential move to the SEC, discuss Michigan’s defense, and debate whether Clemson is 2010 Auburn in disguise.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Concordia University (Toronto) attendee Will Arnett. Arnett’s dropping out eventually led to me getting more Arrested Development, so kudos, sir.

*****

• The trio of Ohio State players expected to return from their suspensions… were suspended again. So close!

• Connor Shaw is your new South Carolina starting QB. RIP Gamecock fun.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall goes all A to Z on the week.

• Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt said a recruit flip-flopped from Ole Miss to Auburn because it was “business.” Fun.

• ESPN has pertinent Stanford questions.

• Wild Heisman speculation!

• Utah QB Jordan Wynn is out 2-3 weeks at the very least with a shoulder injury. Fork meet Utes.

• Illinois LB Jonathan Brown is out a game after the squares frowned upon him kneeing a Northwestern player between the legs. Lame.

• Oklahoma LB Travis Lewis brings the funny on Twitter.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel goes overtime.

• The Wiz has Week 5 screengrabs. Nebraska fans seem bummed.

• Kind of cool that Marshall Lobbestael holding onto his QB spot for Washington State is a positive story.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a fun collection of moderately serious injuries suffered in September. Woo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XloiggwBL5c

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Clinton High School attendee Tracy Morgan. Yep.

*****

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is resting and in stable condition after suffering a seizure on the sideline Saturday. Get better immediately.

• Fox Sports sort of hates college football and its traditions. In a conflict of interest-y type way, of course.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart has his weekend thrills. Non-surprise: His thrills involve only the largest college football programs.

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik, some time ago (via edsbs).

• Georgia‘s taking a hit at linebacker.

• ESPN‘s bloggers have power rankings. I’m told they mean something.

• Not enough? How ’bout a little “What We Learned” and some bowl projections?

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel goes overtime.

• Cliff Harris is back, back again.

• Thirty four people out of 100 and some odd thousand people got in trouble at Michigan’s first night game. Not bad.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Tracy Morgan answering questions in a closet. Hell yes it is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BSyvIvh5vc

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan talk about Texas A&M’s move to the SEC, Mark Richt’s hot seat, poor sportsmanship, and all the important action ahead in the second week of the season.

Ty and Dan lick their wounds after Notre Dame and Oregon suffer losses, but power through a full hour and recap all the significant Week One action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vassar attendee Anthony Bourdain. If you haven’t seen this week’s No Reservations in Cajun country, you must hate food. Or have other, more interesting things to do with your time.

*****

• Texas A&M will apply to leave the Big 12. Hurray.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd likes Oklahoma as a wire-to-wire #1 team. Or he just needed to write a column.

• Eight Miami players have been suspended for the season opener at Maryland. Guess Jacory Harris‘s confidence will have to wait another week.

• Oklahoma State is down two players for their opener Saturday. They’ll be fine.

• Joe Bauserman is your new Ohio State starting QB. It’s the sort of news that makes you gently nod your head and quietly say, “That’s reasonable” to yourself.

• SmartFootball’s Chris Brown breaks down the “inverted veer/dash read.” You may have seen it run by such undefeated teams as TCU and Auburn. Good enough.

• ESPN has “Sweet Beginnings,” which is either a series of profiles about new players and coaches, or an uncomfortable foray into graphic stories of passion.

• UCLA will play two QBs against Houston. It’s just what they do.

• Wondering about B1G Leaders? Wonder no more.

• Ditto Legends.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples talks Jarrett Lee.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel works overtime.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is John Kransinski and Alec Baldwin and their tomfoolery. Worth it for 9-1-2.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EUTEPFq5iQ

Enjoy your Wednesday.

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Ty and Dan talk with Andy Staples from SI.com and preview the upcoming SEC season, Alabama’s defense, Mark Richt’s job security, Stephen Garcia’s leadership, LSU’s questions, and Kentucky’s non-existent offense.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by lovely Emerson College alum Maria Menounos. Don’t be funny around her.

*****

• The death penalty may be a thing for Miami.

• Auburn named Barrett Trotter its new starting QB. I’m guessing yards will be amassed.

• Washington RB Chris Polk had minor knee surgery and will miss the next three or four weeks. Adjust your Husky thoughts accordingly.

• Oregon QB Darron Thomas says he was asleep in Cliff Harris’s speeding car. I buy it.

• The MRI on TCU QB Casey Pachall‘s bum shoulder (from an actual bum!) was negative. Which is positive.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews TCU. Their line graph looks like a scary mouth, which seems about right.

• Dr Saturday‘s Big 12 Week comes to a close. Get it while the gettin’s good.

• Fox’s Gus Johnson talks to Oregon. BUSINESS.

• ESPN’s David Ubben profiles Missouri QB James Franklin.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has Notre Dame recruiting updates. The little guys are finally making a move.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans profiles Houston QB Case Keenum. Virginity is broached.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has an SEC preview. Read: It’s ClowneyTime.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is orangutans just trying to stay cool.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMFRZn6HpyA

Enjoy your Friday. Work it.

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Ty and Dan discuss the bombshell report putting Miami under the microscope, conference expansion rumors, key injuries around college football, and plow through overflowing voicemail and e-mail inboxes.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the number one Miami fan (and graduate) in national TV news, Chuck Todd. I’ll bet he’s working for the weekend.

*****

• The death penalty has not been broached by the NCAA re: Miami.

• There is no NCAA realignment summit, according to NCAA president Mark Emmert. That’s what they want you to think.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris will miss some time (and possibly BC‘s opener) after undergoing knee surgery. This hits close to home — we feel what Spaziani feels.

• Miami coach Al Golden wanted a little heads up, that’s all.

• LSU coach Les Miles now says WR Russell Shepard could possibly sit out the Oregon game after all while his compliance issue gets sorted out. Oops.

• Florida released a statement indicating that their players mentioned in the Yahoo! Miami report are cleared to play. Whew.

• Same goes for Kansas State’s Brown brothers, they of paper and high school fame.

• ESPN’s Chris Low asks Auburn QB questions. I’d answer, but my lawyer has advised me against any such action.

• Wisconsin AD and former coach Barry Alvarez (and son) lost over a million dollars to the Ponzi scheme of former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro.

• Former Miami AD Paul Dee wanted the guillotine dropped on USC. He has some ‘splaining to do.

• I apparently went to the wrong UCLA practice.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews the “invisible” USC Trojans.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder has a Pac-12 preview.

• Central Florida has mail!

• Penn State still needs a quarterback.

• Nebraska CB Alfonzo Dennard has a bum leg. Not an actual bum’s leg, but rather just an injury. I’m positive you needed that clarification.

• TCU QB Casey Pachall (“Pa-ha” is what I’m told) has a bum shoulder. This one ACTUALLY IS a bum’s shoulder.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy dancing with a bottle opener in front of a cheetah mural. A senior citizen makes a cameo.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkdIVJ3Nngo

Enjoy your Thursday. Support support support. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by SUNY-Buffalo graduate and film mogul Harvey Weinstein. A little birdie told me that The Weinstein Company is interested in optioning The Solid Verbal story. That little birdie? Me.

*****

• The NCAA isn’t done with Ohio State. Or are they? No, they’re not.

• Your monthly Texas A&M-to-the-SEC rumor (this time with a double shot of Governor Rick Perry) is now ready for you. Careful, it’s hot.

• Boise State AD Gene Bleymaier is no more in the Treasure Valley. Ok, he’ll still probably be in the area, but somebody new will be occupying his office.

• Missouri DT Sheldon Richardson has finally been cleared to practice for the Tigers, though he may still go to USC. Or not. Or so.

• Cincinnati AD Mike Thomas will accept the same position at Illinois. Things just got a whole lot more orange.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall previewed every SEC game, I’m assuming because he hates sanity.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has Big East practice reports. Most importantly, cursing and Tweeting is out at Pitt.

• ESPN checks in with second-year coaches.

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno returned to practice with his arm in a sling and his body in a golf cart.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Boise State. Spoiler: The numbers love ‘em.

• South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier doesn’t want his players swearing. He’s the only one allowed.

• Is Cal‘s offense too hard for young players? Sure, that must be it, you all are just too dumb to understand.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a mailbag AND a Dodge Stratus.

• College football and MS Paint (penises) will never, ever get old.

• Dr Saturday‘s SEC Week keeps on keeping on.

• Georgia Tech OT Phil Smith has been suspended for two games for rule breakage.

• Former Nebraska RB Ahman Green will be roaming sidelines for the Big Ten Network this fall. My only connection to this is that I once accidentally walked in on two people (neither of which were Ahman Green) attempting to make babies in the basement of a building he lived in in Omaha. This has nothing to do with anything.

• 2012 Auburn QB commit Zeke Pike is already thrilled to prod Alabama fans on Twitter. This will only end in mutual respect and peaceful thoughts.

• Rivals previews Nebraska, without any of the Ahman Green insight I provided above. Lame.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Paul Rudd’s marketing genius.

Enjoy your Thursday. Enjoy your style.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Stiller, brief UCLA attendee. Fockers aside, I’ll still watch Zoolander whenever/wherever.

*****

• LSU OC Steve Kragthorpe is stepping down as LSU’s offensive coordinator, but will continue to coach QBs after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. This is awful. The absolute best to him and his.

• The first USA Today Coaches’ Poll is out. You can’t imagine how much it means. Mostly because it means nothing.

• Parlazed Rutgers DL Eric LeGrand spoke to SportsCenter about his recovery. Always awesome.

• The B1G will go to nine conference games in 2017. Let’s all take a moment to remember Eastern Michigan.

• Texas WR Malcolm WIlliams is leaving the Longhorns.

• Butch Davis offered a UNC scholarship (written) to his QB son Drew before he got let go. Naturally, UNC chancellor Holden Thorp committed an NCAA violation talking about how mad it made him.

• UNC DL Brandon Willis just likes the road, man.

• Purdue has new, über plain uniforms. About right.

• Four Big East teams open camp today. ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has quick hitters.

• She does the same for BYU, which I have taken to phonetically pronouncing “Bayou” out loud just to spice things up.

• The Iron Bowl is being used to arrest deadbeat dads (complete with a fun soundtrack!). Really.

• Rivals has DL rankings. SALTINESS ABOUND.

• Auburn may utilize a redshirt freshman RB who checks in around three bills. DO IT.

• SI.com contributor George Schroeder examines Larry Scott’s ability to further expand the Pac-12.

• South Carolina isn’t down with the Twitter. #SadTweet is a real thing.

• Dr Saturday‘s Pac-12 Week continues with the Oregon schools and hot seats. #SadNeuFace

• Trans-conference robbery is a real thing!

• USC practice opened up last night. We could be setting our watches to Baxter Time for at least a few quarters, at which point he’ll probably just wander off somewhere.

• Rivals has a Big East preview. Where have I seen this before? That’s right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dude traveling the world, six frames at a time.

Enjoy your Friday. Shirts increasing in volume next week, buy now to tell your friends you bought when it was cool.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Daniel Tosh, UCF graduate, and possible Knight-Knight fan. Doing O’Leary proud!

*****

• Top HS QB prospect Jameis Winston picked Florida State yesterday, though he’s expected to also be taken high in next year’s baseball draft. Wouldn’t wish his problems on my worst enemy. (video)

• The Humanitarian Bowl is no more. The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl is, uh, more.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers has been cleared for (limited) practice, which is awful news for everybody in the Pac-12.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart has 2011′s top ten trap games. As always, Admiral Ackbar ghost wrote most of this.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has a thorough, fact-filled Auburn preview. RollsRoyce5 will immediate denounce all of it as being a sham and biased.

• ESPN’s David Ubben reflects on Big 12 media days. Guessing they weren’t served lobster like the lucky sumbitches in the Big East.

• An SEC media days lookback.

• Pac-12 ditto. B1G ditto.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag that completely ignores this season of Whale Wars, which I know Stew himself is not doing. Bring it out in the open, Mandel!

• Pre-Snap Read is counting down teams with extraordinary detail. Read it. Love it. Live it. Here’s Florida.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday continues Pac-12 week with Cal and defining games. (And no, Cal isn’t in today’s defining games post)

• Rivals has the nation’s best OL groups. Iowa is #5 despite last September’s Arizona game existing.

• Touted incoming Mizzou DE Sheldon Richardson is yet to be cleared by the NCAA. Or he has. Or he hasn’t. Or he has. Or he hasn’t.

• Illinois waterskis. Simple as that.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an explanation of hipsterdom, but by puppets. Of course.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbTI7eWaQbk

Enjoy your Thursday. Rock the shwag.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Penn attendee Elizabeth Banks. I feel no need to defend this choice.

*****

• ESPN has the choice quotes and stories from Day 2 of SEC Media Days. Choice, I say!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall sails and fishes with Mike Leach. It’s outstanding.

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik says his public conversation with an NCAA enforcement official at an SEC meeting was “not confrontational.” No big.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy summarizes Georgia coach Mark Richt‘s turn at the SEC podium.

• Minnesota WR Da’Jon McKnight no longer eats breakfast burritos.

• Big East QBs are ranked. UConn has the distinct honor of last place with a Tecmo Super Bowl entry of “QB UConn.” Harsh.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller talks to Utah QB Jordan Wynn, who apparently has almost no power over any major Las Vegas resort hotels.

• Yahoo!!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday previews North Carolina. Click if you want to see an uncomfortable Butch Davis face.

• USF TE Jeff Hawkins is out for the year. His ACL is a total jerk.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is GirlFails. Pretty simple.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB8NOICP4kY

Enjoy your Friday. Buy buy buy!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by mustachio’d NYU attendee Sarah Silverman. Lady mustaches have yet to bore me.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy talks SEC commissioner Mike Slive’s hopes and dreams for change in the SEC. If you read between the lines, dropping football as a conference sports seems like a real possibility.

• …And SEC coaches aren’t fans of hopes and dreams.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks the NCAA will listen to Mike Slive and then not listen.

• The EYE also has choice SEC Media Day quotes and summaries from Steve Spurrier, Will Muschamp, Bobby Petrino, and Dan Mullen.

• ESPN has their own choice SEC quotes and moments.

• The NCAA‘s investigation into Auburn and the recruitment of Cam Newton continually has new life. Good thing coach Gene Chizik admonished an NCAA enforcement official at a rules meeting a few weeks ago. Whew!

• Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Texas A&M to the SEC! Or not.

• I hope you’re sitting down … LSU received outdated recruiting video from Will Lyles.

• Former (briefly) Florida RB and current Auburn RB Mike Blakely had his appeal to immediately play for the Tigers denied.

• Florida RB Jeff Demps is still considering a pro track career, which is good because he’s generally the fastest sprinting human in college.

• Texas talks Longhorn Network, which is going to be totally fair, you guys.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner examines the forthcoming Pac-12 Network. He thinks things will finally be coming up Milhouse (Time Warner)!

• How will the B1G respond to Mike Slive. Slowly?

• Big 12 position rankings are FINALLY here, and they’re brought to you by Texas, because legally, every sentence that contains “Big 12” must also contain “Texas.”

• Big East tight ends are ranked. If you knew all of these players, you’re either gifted, nerdy, or run the Big East Coast Bias blog.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Wisconsin, who now have an adjusted loss to UNLV. Cheer up Rebel fans, you now have a math win!

• SI.com’s Tim Layden reminisces about the best team he ever covered, the 1995 Nebraska squad, a team that still gives Steve Spurrier occasional night terrors.

• Auburn has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars … defending allegations tied to the recruitment of Cam Newton.

• North Texas is riding Green Lantern Fever, which, of course, doesn’t exist. And UTEP is doing everything they can to remind you just which sport they play.

• ESPN’s commentator assignments for the 2011 season have been released. Things just got a little bit more Hawkins in here.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Steve Nash being awesome at parking.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXFF5_GIsV0

Enjoy your Thursday. New shirts soon.

***Follow me on the Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about the launch of his new site (OutkickTheCoverage.com) and his thoughts on a hodgepodge of SEC topics in the midst of Media Days.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Southern Miss graduate Jimmy Buffett, who’s responsible for all of this excellent Mike Leach-Key West stuff. Good enough.

****

• Paralyzed Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand stood up. AWESOME.

• Ohio State AD Gene Smith figures everything’s cool now in Columbus. Ok then.

• It appears that Georgia Tech may have violated some NCAA rules. You have three options — stay tuned for more, stop paying attention, or keep the ball yourself.

• The NCAA isn’t done with Auburn. Allegedly.

• West Virginia OG Josh Jenkins will miss the 2011 season after undergoing knee surgery.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer profiles compliance. Pretty much the sexiest thing of the entire offseason.

• Football Study Hall has adjusted strengths of schedule. I don’t know if Bill Connelly has kids, but if he does, I have a feeling he’s constantly disappointed with their F/+ rating.

• ESPN debates what motivates the SEC and B1G. The piece is accompanied by one of the most attractive pictures ever to be featured on ESPN.

• Now that you know how secondaries in the Big 12 are ranked (in July), you may move on with your day.

• John Legend likes Ohio State. The universe just balanced out a little. “Take that, talented guy who dates supermodels!”

• Fox Sports West profiles USC WR Brice Butler.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly contends that Oregon State has misplaced aggression, which is one of the worst types of aggressions there is.

• Syracuse coach Doug Marrone is an outstanding human.

• They’re dropping like flies in Tempe. Slutty, slutty flies.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it and then talks with Maryland coach Randy Edsall. The multiple hustles continue!

• The sweatervest is alive and well in Ohio.

• Utah OC Norm Chow will make $500,000 to not coach at UCLA. Good gig if you can get it.

• Rivals looks back at all of the 5-stars of the “Rivals” era. You’ll learn who wins “Best Five Star” at the upcoming Rivies.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Seth Meyers monologging (sp?) at the ESPYs last night. I didn’t watch the whole thing. Mostly because I wanted to do something else.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGrq5RJ-wYw

Enjoy your Thursday. Shirts!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Regis Philbin, who apparently attended and graduated from Notre Dame. Who knew?

*****

• If you’re the last person who hasn’t read it, here’s Yahoo!’s Will Lyles/Oregon story.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer ponders independence and major football programs.

• The body of Purdue RB Sean Matti was found in a Lake in Indiana. Unspeakably tragic.

• Former UNC DE Mike McAdoo is suing UNC and the NCAA for reinstatement. Nancy Grace is outraged.

• Illinois DL Chris Jones was charged with battery. At least he didn’t have cocaine on him like the last time he was arrested, right?

• Alabama QB A.J. McCarron has a sizable sternum tat. Reason for concern?

• SI.com’s Andy Staples brings the noise with his Cheating for Dummies column.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly includes Yo La Tengo in his USF preview. Also, Bill Connelly never stops.

• Neither does Rivals’s's’s's’s UCF preview, apparently.

• South Carolina DE Jadeveon Clowney is officially a South Carolina DE. Must’ve been waiting for all of the AP results to come back.

• Want Rich Rodriguez’s Michigan house? Sure you do! (via Dr Sat)

• Auburn needs a QB. Soon.

• The Big East has defensive lines, so ESPN feels compelled to rank them.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett echoes what we talked about last week — new Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson is good, but the greatness talk needs to be scaled back.

• The B1G has LBs. But you knew that already.

• A giant combine/tournament is going on on the Nike campus in Portland. ESPN has first-day stories.

• Cincinnati QB Chazz Anderson (DOUBLE Z!) has transferred to Buffalo. RIP multiple Chaz(z)es in the Big East.

• Georgia assistant recruiting coordinator Charles Canton got the hell out of Athens. Peculiar?

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at the B1G challenges ahead for Nebraska.

• Vanderbilt decided to pull a Stanford and recruit smart kids that can also play football.

• Maryland OL Justin Lewis is now persona non grata in College Park, MD.

• Top incoming Texas DT Quincy Russell failed to qualify for the Longhorns.

• Incoming Alabama RB Dee Hart may have torn an ACL. Or maybe not.

• Rivals profiles new Texas Tech DC Chad Glasgow, who promises to be better than the last guy, Chad Edinburgh.

• The Longhorn Network is getting two 2011 Texas games. Hurray!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is mustachio’d monkeys being fascinated by an iPod touch. Of course.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nP73LFhcKY

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy clothing!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kentucky alum and superfan, Ashley Judd, who is probably paying part of John Calipari’s eventually-vacated contract extension.

*****

• Two Georgia players are now on the (in)eligibility radar. I pasted that from an earlier item.

• In dealing with NCAA inquiries, Oregon has retained the services of a law firm and attorney that writers themselves call “The Cleaner.”

• UNC released the names of the players who accrued the hundreds of parking tickets. Former WR Greg Little “had 93 tickets on multiple vehicles with nine different license plates.” Prolific.

• USF OL Danous Estenor heroically picks up cars. No big deal.

• Former NC St QB Russell Wilson will announce his 2011 destination today. He will then appear on College Football Live. Adjust your schedule accordingly. Or don’t, whatever.

• ESPN’s Craig James appears to have become awfully political for an analyst not supposed to be publicly political.

• ESPN has Big East OL rankings, ACC OL rankings, and B1G OL rankings. Don’t blame me when conference OL rankings come up at a cocktail party and you have nothing to say.

• Something called “T-Woolf” will take the field for Michigan in a couple months. I warned you.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Michigan State while also conceding that the Spartans didn’t deserve to beat Alabama in the Capital One Bowl. Whew.

• Vanderbilt has sneakily begun the recruiting season in strong fashion. Do yo’ thang, Coach Hand. Do yo’ thang.

• Former Alabama RB Corey Grant will transfer to Auburn to be in Gus Malzahn’s spread system. Apparently, he thinks Gus Malzahn will be in Auburn next fall. Cute.

• Florida DE Chris Martin will once again transfer. Frequent flyer miles up the wazoo.

• Pitt will take on its 48th B1G transfer, this time it’s Wisconsin RB Zach Brown.

• How Oklahoma State got $165 million from T. Boone Pickens. I imagine one of the ways was a promise of absolutely no swift boats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the worst cat DJ ever. Pretty much a no-talent.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HA5WVjMBX8

Enjoy your Monday. Buy tees!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mizzou’s Jon Hamm, who got richer this week. Don’t let the money cramp your saxy style, Jon. Don’t do it.

*****

• Former UNC coach John Blake has a reputation, and part of that reputation includes biology charisma.

• Former USC WR Lonnie White (early-mid 80′s) received payments while playing for the Trojans. It all sounds about right until you hear who paid him … NCAA PRESIDENT MARK EMMERT!!!! <— I made that up.

• Florida needs warm bodies. If they don’t get them, EDSBS’s Spencer Hall may be forced to shoot video trying out for the team. He might die. Let’s save Spencer.

• New Michigan coach Brady Hoke is poking the bear. Ahem, bear cub.

• ESPN’s Heater Dinich (new name!) ranks ACC WR corps.

• If you’re more bored than you’ve ever been, please accept this offering of ESPN’s best SEC kickers and punters, plus special teams. Please.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has a brief profile of new starting Iowa RB Marcus Coker.

• Bennett’s ESPN B1G Ten partner Adam Rittenberg handles the receivers and tight ends. That sounded wrong.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller speculates on the Pac-12′s impact freshmen. Oregon State apparently has an incoming DE named Rusty Fernando. That is all.

• Football Study Hall previews Tennessee with no mention of Tyler Bray’s tattoo. And they were on such a roll, too.

• Terrelle Pryor got his own Jon Gruden segment. You can hear him apologize for nothing in particular all over again.

• Notre Dame players have new gloves that test the limits of multi-headed mascots.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel had the gall to take a honeymoon when so much was going on in college football. He catches up here.

• Auburn‘s getting early points from Vegas in pretty much all of their 2011 games.

• Iowa St RB DeVondrick Nealy was cited for shootin’ stuff on campus with a BB gun. Way to go.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is your 90s childhood quickly flashed before your eyes. It’s more traumatic than you think.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0DDQ02vAeY

Enjoy your Thursday. Buy Verbal!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mary-Louise Parker, former North Carolina School of the Arts student. And Weeds star. And … I lost my train of thought. She probably doesn’t know about Butch Davis’s troubles, and I don’t care.

*****

• North Carolina pretty much broke every rule. Total bad boys of the ACC, for sure.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel thinks UNC coach Butch Davis will survive. Basically, he’s a T1000.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks to Oregon coach Chip Kelly about the Ducks‘ ongoing situation with the NCAA. Win the Dodd.

• ESPN ranks Big 12 WRs/TEs and then SEC DBs. Trust me, you can’t overstate how huge the DBs are in the south.

• ESPN then ranks Big 10 QBs. Michigan QB Denard Robinson is apparently the best they’ve got.

• Pitt officially welcomed Ohio State LB transfer Ejuan Price into their awaiting arms.

• Auburn got blung (past tense of a new verb).

• Football Study Hall cracks open the UNC door and notices that things got better as games went on. Also, things could potentially get much worse.

• New lesson: Always give Rick Ross credit in your tweets.

• Oklahoma St is building a $16 million practice facility. Psh, I bet they don’t even have an organic juice bar built in.

• Rivals talks to former Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez.

• Ohio State president Gordon Gee stood before a group of nuns and apologized for using “Little Sisters of the Poor” in vain. Whattaguy.

• UCLA OL Stan Hasiak is academically ineligible, which I believe brings him to seven strikes.

• LSU coach Les Miles pretty much owns an 8-foot basketball hoop. His young daughter stood no chance.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Tom Hanks doing an impromptu weather report. For Spanish-speaking TV.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeOG5tN-Hu8

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy MORE things.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the late (and still awesome) Phil Hartman, former CSUN employee. He also sings today’s Video of the Day song. He’s that good.

*****

• According to documents released yesterday to The Oregonian, recruiting material Oregon paid for for 2011 prospects was mostly made up of class of 2009 recruits. Probably not ideal.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples reacts and thinks Oregon either got ripped off or shadiness was abound.

• Auburn pays employees. I know, right?

• Louisville CB Darius Ashley got a second DUI. It’s right around five or six where you really start getting concerned, I guess.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff ranks specific SEC linebackers and full SEC linebacking corps. Be on the lookout for a particularly sassy Alabama LB Dont’a Hightower.

• ESPN’s David Ubben ranks Big 12 RBs. Be on the lookout for a particularly sassy Texas A&M RB Christine Michael.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich ranks ACC RBs. I originally wrote “Heater Dinich,” which is a much cooler name.

• The Ohio BMV (not DMV!) said no “wrongdoing” was done when Ohio State football players purchased cars. I still can’t get over “BMV.”

• Former West Virginia coach Bill Stewart will be paid $1.65 million as a buyout. That’s a LOT of porches and lemonade.

• Football Study Hall previews Georgia Tech. What I gleaned is that the Yellowjackets run their offense really well, except when they don’t.

• “Central Florida is gonna getcha!” says SI.com’s Stewart Mandel.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the monorail song from The Simpsons. Just because it’s probably been too long for all of us.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF_yLodI1CQ

Enjoy your Tuesday. Buy things.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former UCLA attendee and noted insane person Nicolas Cage. It’s about time.

*****

• Does Ohio State AD Gene Smith want to hire private detectives to tail Buckeye football players? Um, possibly.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd has ten facts about the Rose Bowl. My weird Rose Bowl fact: It’s the best place to see a game in January, but probably the worst September through December.

• North Carolina players have accrued over $13,000 in parking tickets. That sort of thing requires a professional-level ability to never, ever give a shit.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris is at a non-Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony crossroads, says the Register-Guard’s George Schroeder.

• MGOBLOG compares Ohio St to USC. In a completely reasonable, unbiased way. Mostly.

• After an unfortunate reference to Aaron Douglas (removed shortly after posting), ESPN’s Edward Aschoff ranks SEC offensive lines.

• The ACC is very happy with their dainty debutante schedule, thank you very much.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg ranks Big Ten running backs. He separates Wisconsin‘s two headed monster, which is a testament to just how cruel and unusual Adam Rittenberg truly is.

• Colorado C Mike Iltis is retiring due to both injury and academic concerns, making him the 18th player to leave the Colorado program this offseason. That doesn’t feel like a normal number, does it?

• Lost Letterman ranks college football’s top transfers. I hope Kansas State RB Bryce Brown makes the list again in two years.

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik was kind of surprised he was hired two years ago, too.

• Incoming Ohio St linebacker Ejuan Price requests permission to become “Former Ohio St linebacker Ejuan Price.”

• Notre Dame is getting a network. You probably won’t watch it.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a completely insane remix of The View. I have no idea, either.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLR614kge4w

Enjoy your Friday. Buy apparel.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Schwartz, Union College (Schenectady!) graduate. He was good doing shorts for ESPN and is now great occasionally on Parks and Rec. Also, his hair is eerily similar to mine.

*****

• Terrelle Pryor pulled a Jason Giambi and apologized for nothing in particular. Sports!

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy looks at how the tornadoes that hit Alabama brought a little bit of humanity to the Iron Bowl. Just a little.

• Pitt and Penn St will start playing each other again in five years. By that time, Ty and I will either be THE voices of college football or we’ll be long gone with the money we’ve slowly laundered from everyone that has ever listened to the show.

• Texas lost WR Greg Timmons to a nasty case of no longer wanting to play for Texas.

• Free agent QB Russell Wilson should be deciding on a 2011 destination soon. You know, for grad school.

• The CBS Sports Network, which will forever be a triple digit channel, has hired Rich Rodriguez to be a full time analyst.

• Football Study Hall aims at Ole Miss. And Dairy Queen. Just read it.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich looks at Week 3 of the ACC slate. My calendar also says today is June 15, if you’re curious.

• SEC running backs are ranked. No joke to be had here, the conference is filthy is backs.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg chats with Michigan St coach Mark Dantonio.

• New West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen went skydiving yesterday. And almost exploded.

• Oh, you thought The Wiz was done rolling out the financial reports from the bowl games. Too silly.

• Rivals’s's’s's’s Tom Dienhart looks at the biggest scheme changes of the offseason.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features two seals being released into the wild. And wouldn’t you know it, right after they were released, things got super romantic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgJbqyQN164

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy stuff!

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by non-college attendee Matthew Broderick, who has the distinct honor of now being 25 years removed from his best work AND being married to Sarah Jessica Parker. I just made myself sad for no reason.

*****

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart officially resigned, making OC/brief coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen the new Mountaineer head coach.

• Did Jim Tressel and Ohio State receive a warning email about alleged Buckeye memorabilia seller Dennis Talbott in 2007? Some say probably.

• Wisconsin WR Nick Toon commented on possible QB transfer Russell Wilson. NOT COOL (if you care about dumb secondary NCAA violations).

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik got PAID. Oversized leather jackets for everyone!

• SI.com’s Andy Staples suggests that perhaps West Virginia didn’t handle the whole “coach-in-waiting” thing properly. How dare he.

• Don’t pretend like LSUFreek wasn’t ready for Stewart/Holgo ’11.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has a roundup of the weekend’s non-AQ excitement. Summary: Houston QB Case Keenum‘s got a wife, Wyoming‘s got a HS kid starting at QB, etc.

• Nebraska QB transfer Cody Green is looking at Big 12 schools. You don’t just pass up a chance to sometimes play on regional Fox Sports networks, you guys.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich is totally down with Virginia Tech’s 2011 defense. Way out on a limb there, Heather.

• Did Ohio State players get free golf? I’ll say………… “yes.”

• Penn St coach Joe Paterno uses an iMac bigger than Joe Paterno to skype with recruits. COMETOPENNSTATE (signs off accidentally).

• Notre Dame and Michigan will play under the lights in Michigan Stadium wearing retro uniforms. Michigan wins the thread war.

• Former Ohio St coach Jim Tressel says “Thanks but no thanks” to the mandatory coaching seminar he would’ve had to attend if he were still coaching.

• Florida St coach Jimbo Fisher really wants to do this commercial. Really, he does. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a performance from last night’s Tony Awards from “The Book of Mormon,” the musical written by the South Park guys, which i kind of need to see immediately.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tggtPHDmrR8

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Wisconsin graduate and Workaholics star Anders Holm. He’s clearly excited about the (possible) prospect of Russell Wilson moving to Madison.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd thinks if Bill Stewart stays in Morgantown, things will be uncomfortable all around. YUP.

• Did President Obama and Auburn WR coach Trooper Taylor chest bump? What do you think?

• Former Ohio St RB Maurice Clarett blamed the school’s recent problems on the general culture of the Buckeyes and Columbus.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel explains why the Ohio State case is worse than USC’s. See! I can read headlines.

• Former Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer isn’t openly saying he wants the open Tennessee AD job, he’s just making it clear to an ESPN reporter that he’s open to it. Or something.

• Sometimes, he that they call “LSUFreek” misses on one of his GIFs. The other 100% of the time, gold comes spewing out.

• This is a picture of Mike Bellamy, incoming Clemson RB. He’s whatever not-bright is.

• Former NC State QB Russell Wilson visited Wisconsin this week. Things are looking badgery.

• ESPNU released their 2012 ESPNU 150. #138 is a dandy.

• Is heralded Ohio St freshman QB Braxton Miller the man to immediately take over the Buckeyes? Maybe!

• Football Study Hall stares at Michigan and kinda wishes Rich Rod just would’ve hired a better defensive coordinator.

• Wake Forest is down two defensive starters. I’m guessing they couldn’t really afford this.

• Adult Swim got in their shot at Ohio State. Pure elegance.

Today’s Video of the Day is the next big thing. Or the next icy, weird thing. Coning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WygNjMSllLQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Steve Buscemi, former OLB for the Lee Strasberg Film and Theater Institute football team. Ok that was a joke … he played left guard.

*****

• Beyond the emails, former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel probably had a kick-ass text messaging plan. Go unlimited or go home, son.

• Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton resigned this morning. You’d think he’d be given a longer leash after BOTH of his hires of coaches in revenue sports ran afoul of the NCAA and can be considered thorough Tennessee failures. Sheesh.

• West Virginia coach Bill Stewart asked local reporters for dirt on OC/CIW Dana Holgorsen in the days before he was hired, leading to the recent leaks that Holgorsen was asked to leave casinos early in the morning. Fall camp is going to be FUN.

• WVU AD Oliver Luck gave an interview to 93.7 The Fan in Pittsburgh this morning. Here are some quotes.

• Top incoming Nebraska QB Bubba Starling was taken 5th overall in the MLB Draft. I believe Steve Miller said it best.

• Tommy Tuberville is an increasingly silly man.

• Mike Leach is an increasingly logical and bright man.

• Football Study Hall pumps out an Arizona State preview. ASU LB Vontaze Burfict just murdered Football Study Hall.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers review the 2010 ESPNU 150 selections after their freshman years. The SEC appears to have a lot of entries.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson talks to Rutgers coach Greg Schiano. I wonder if Rutgers fans still say things to each other like, “Hey remember 2006? That was AWESOME.”

• The Mountain West has a new logo. Oh and this is their time. Or something.

• Georgia is excited for new enormous NT John Jenkins.

• Former USC RB coach Todd McNair, the coach at the center of the NCAA‘s investigation of Reggie Bush, is formally suing the NCAA for “libel, slander, tortious interference with prospective economic advantage, tortious interference with contractual relations, breach of contract, negligence and declaratory relief.” That kind of thing.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has officially stopped sleeping and has moved on to slamming the SEC over banning graduates from other programs from transferring to an SEC school and playing immediately. Also, he lists the top 25 jobs in college football.

• USC MLB Devon Kennard is now USC DE Devon Kennard.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of the greatest movie threats ever. You better watch (language NSFW fo-sho) …

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbIlLmCID5g

Enjoy your Tuesday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by late West Virginia alumnus Don Knotts, who despite his allegiance to the Mountaineers, would’ve probably sided with Johnny Law re: Dana Holgorsen.

*****

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen was allegedly escorted from the premises of a casino. Allegedly.

• SEC commissioner Mike Slive is proposing anti-oversigning legislation. I imagine it’s called something like the SabanSpurrierNuttPetrino Addendum. Or something.

• CBS Sports’s Brett McMurphy profiles Pitt coach Todd Graham. Graham celebrated by immediately suspending his backup QB.

• ESPN’s Joe Schad reported that former NC State QB Russell Wilson visited Auburn yesterday. Excuse me, I should have used his full name … Joe Schad According to Sources.

• With the Big 10 weighing options to cover additional “cost of attendance” for student-athletes, EDSBS examines just what that means at different schools.

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly talks about his team’s unique way of naming captains. After reading this, I think I may have been inadvertently named a captain of something.

• The Big 12 has dark horses. Or do they?

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd may not miss any games after all. Nice ‘n tidy.

• Nomadic QB Tate Forcier either wants to be closer to home or doesn’t. That about covers it.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall has some thoughts about South Carolina being favored to win the SEC East. He feels cautiously nauseated.

• Noted horrible person Senator Jon Kyl won’t be returning the contribution he received from the Fiesta Bowl.

• Boise State‘s secret? Holland pipeline, duh.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I can’t argue with any of what Marty Funkhauser says.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8iW4vr1EaU

Enjoy your Wednesday.

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Ty and Dan talk with Chris Brown from SmartFootball.com about turnover among offensive assistants in college football and the impact new philosophies will have on their respective teams.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Athens, GA native Kim Basinger, who probably doesn’t know Jake Scott, recent College Football Hall of Fame inductee from Georgia. She also probably doesn’t know that her scenes in Wayne’s World 2 made me feel all funny inside. Probably.

*****

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has a post-spring Top 25. Ty’s already excited.

• The Daily’s Dan Wolken takes down the APR system.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy weighs in on Big East expansion in the wake of the mammoth Pac-12 TV deal. Apparently, the Big East wants some pie.

• EA Sports’s NCAA 12 lets you screw around with conference and bowl alignment. And the Big East takes another early hit.

• Former Ohio State basketball player Mark Titus comments on the little he knows (or doesn’t) regarding Ohio State football players and their automobiles.

• Want coach’s cam angle game film from Auburn/Oregon, TCU/Wisconsin, and Stanford/Oregon? Follow this link, friend. (via EDSBS)

• Fox Sports South profiles Alabama RB Trent Richardson and even trots out pictures of Florida cheerleaders to bolster their content. Heroic.

• Football Study Hall slaps Purdue around with rock hard data. And sexy line graphs.

• Georgia alum and new College Football Hall of Fame inductee Jake Scott is a man.

• SI.com’s Bill Carey makes the case for ten possible early enrollee impact players.

• LSU coach Les Miles is/was a greased-up, sculpted man machine.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Bert sitting down with SNL’s Andy Samberg. Yes, that Bert.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhDIlSdpV-c

Enjoy your Tuesday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Minnesota attendee Bob Dylan, who, you won’t believe this, was a heroin enthusiast for a bit. Upset of all upsets, I know.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy eyeballs the Big East and the crossroads it may or may not find itself nearing.

• When Michigan plays Notre Dame (in Michigan Stadium‘s first ever night game), the Wolverines will wear made-up throwback uniforms. Certainly one option.

• Former Missouri QB Tyler Gabbert visited Louisville over the weekend. At this point, Louisville is being strongly considered as one of many options.

• Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino is the newest coach to get PAID. The good news is his buyout (should he decide to leave) is $18 million in the near future and then $10 million thereafter. And both kidneys. And an eye. And he has to be Arkansas‘s butler.

• Auburn and Alabama spend money on recruiting services. And then some more money.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has been positively bipolar during his “Hope & Concern” series. He’s been torn up by USC and Washington so far.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg analyzes Michigan’s schedule, just like he did for eight other conference teams. Basically, you can go screw off, Indiana, Northwestern, and Purdue.

• Football Study Hall gets its numbers all up in Kansas State. Bill Snyder will definitely not be reading this, which is why you absolutely should.

• The Wiz is running up the score with his bowl expense reports. Total pro.

• USC QB Matt Barkley is a History Channel superstar.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Blake Griffin jumping over a tiger and begging to be in a video game. I like Blake Griffin.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8hJx2KOUdY

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ohio State alum and noted enthusiasm curber, Richard Lewis. Great, thanks Jim Tressel, another thing for Lewis to get bummed out about. Just great.

*****

• SI Video has a great video piece about the University of Alabama and the recent tornado. Incredibly for SI, it’s not a writer on the phone passed off as “video.”

• Keep following the Wiz of Odds‘s takedown of bowl deals with his ongoing expense report series.

• The NCAA, being the all-powerful oversight organization that they are, answered questioning from the Department of Justice with a simple, “Not us, go ask them.”

• West Virginia AD Oliver Luck doesn’t think it’d be the worst thing in the world if Mountaineer fans got a little drunker. (That sentence came out more misleading than even I could’ve intended.)

• CBS Sports’s Brett McMurphy talks to Florida coach Will Muschamp about how he got hired and what the former Texas coach sees in OC Charlie Weis. Hint: it’s not QB John Brantley running the option.

• Purdue‘s getting new uniforms. If there was any sense in the world, they’d feature a giant picture of Ryan Kerrigan, with the words, “He Went Here” underneath. Unfortunately, they’ll probably just look like this.

• Colorado DE Forrest West, who seems quite pleased with himself in his team photo, is transferring to NC State. I don’t need to hope he’s happy — I already know.

• South Carolina RB Marcus Lattimore is in decent shape. And by that I mean, his leg may contain more power than Ty and I do combined. Even if you add in some of our extended family members, I think we’re still just approaching Lattimore.

• Former TCU safety Tejay Johnson is completely awesome at life.

• SB Nation’s Football Study Hall continues to not sleep and pump out numbers that try to explain and preview teams. Washington and Northwestern the latest FBO treatments.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel wonders if Arizona State can be this year’s Auburn and come out of nowhere to be national title contenders. The Solid Verbal’s Dan Rubenstein has seen ASU play and politely disagrees with any of this wondering nonsense.

• Rivals profiles new Clemson OC Chad Morris, who will forever be known as “the guy who screwed Clemson up” or “the guy who got Clemson over the hump,” and nothing in between.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an oldie, but still maintains its crown has the greatest Black Eyed Peas cover (or for that matter, performance) of all time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlfO1C2QcvY

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Whitney Cummings, Penn graduate and awesomely mean comedian with two shows getting picked up for the fall. Not bad.

*****

• CBS Sports new guy Brett McMurphy profiles Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald, modern hand-holding enthusiast.

• Miami will lose their most appropriately-named Hurricane, RB Storm Johnson, to a transfer request. Apparently the backfield was too crowded for him. Awww.

• Similarly, Iowa’s Adam Robinson will now *officially* transfer. Same goes for Wisconsin RB Zach Brown, though Brown should graduate this summer and become somewhat of a free agent.

• The latest on (alleged) Toomer’s Corner tree poisoner, Harvey Updyke. No feds for you.

• The Columbus Dispatch profiles Gene Marsh, Jim Tressel‘s esteemed attorney. I’m betting he’s used the word “dagnabbit” in the last 24 hours.

• MGoBlog imagines the possibilities if Michigan can simply get their turnover margin to … “mediocre.” This is what John Lennon was talking about the whole time.

• ESPN’s Chris Low looks at the toughest three-game stretches on the SEC schedule.

• ESPN’s David Ubben has a friendly sitdown with ESPNU’s Tom Luginbill to get the skinny on Texas A&M. Verdict: They’re doing aiiiiiggghhhtttt.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has BIG TEN MEETING NOTES. Game changer.

• Jay from the Wiz of Odds is aggregating dozens of bowl expense reports. Here’s his story.

• A bunch of coaches discuss their favorite stats. Turnover margin is the cool kid here.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day keeps with this week’s trailer theme and is Fox’s new animated Jonah Hill show, Allen Gregory. Given how bad most of the pilots look It’s almost weird to enjoy new network content.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xL3aOAryx_c

Enjoy your Wednesday.

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Ty and Dan talk with Herb Hand, Vanderbilt’s offensive line coach, about the spread offense, recruiting lineman, player development, his relationship with Gus Malzahn, and his notable dodgeball accomplishments.

Download the show

Today’s Chorus is brought to you once again by NC State alumnus Zach Galafianakis, star of Between Two Ferns and other things that may come out soon.

*****

• Ole Miss dismissed DE Delvin Jones and LB Clarence Jackson after they were arrested for public drunkenness. It was not the first trouble either had been in. I know, right?

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd proposes an idea to have Auburn-Alabama scrimmage in August to raise money for tornado relief. It’s such a good idea that it isn’t even his. Don’t worry, no credit was given.

• Illinois AD Ron Guenther announced his formal retirement. To be safe, Ron Zook better get a letter of rec sooner rather than later.

• ESPN College Gameday will begin the season at the Oregon-LSU game in Dallas. A victory for those that prefer their pre-game college football coverage in a sterile, safe setting. YES!

• Cal coach Jeff Tedford reminisced about the old days at Fresno State. I can’t wait until some ranked team cockily strides into Fresno and loses — I’m never going to stop with the, “You don’t come into the SJV talking that mess!” jokes. Never.

• Nebraska AD Tom Osborne backs Jim Tressel in the Ohio State coach’s ongoing struggle. Whenever a former coach who famously started a player right after that player threw a woman down a flight of stairs calls, YOU LISTEN.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has a tidy SEC spring wrap. He tries dutifully to say nice things about LSU QB Jordan Jefferson.

• Minnesota gets the Football Outsiders treatment. Summary: If they’re going to win, it’ll be because of the offense.

• Anchor of Gold has a Vanderbilt offensive preview. More on this later.

• Oregon‘s OL gets a boost with the return of C Hamani Stevens, who left the school to complete a Mormon mission. Of course, he hasn’t put on pads in two years, he’s not in Eugene or enrolled in the school, so let’s all temper our collective excitement for now.

• New Florida WR Ja’Juan Story likes to poop and listen to Katy Perry.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the preview for the NBC show, “The Playboy Club.” It’s all the sexiness of Playboy and the early 60s mixed with the horrible development and generally misguided sensibilities of NBC.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-dnE5NtJDs

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the dreamy former locks of Michael Bolton, who were unable to star in the Lonely Island’s newest video with Bolton himself. It is not known if Bolton has ever graduated from anywhere, nor is it cared.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd has a post-spring top 25 and includes Auburn. Apparently he knows something we don’t about the potential 2-man spread that Philip Lutzenkirchen and Michael Dyer will be running. Cute.

• Ohio State has again come under the compliance microscope, this time for deals on used cars from local dealerships. I can’t seem to shake the image of Buckeye players using Columbus as a giant gifting suite, so I’ll just go with that for now.

• Michigan WR Darryl Stonum was arrested for driving under the influence.

• Memphis QB Ryan Williams is now officially Miami QB Ryan Williams, though all 6’6″ and 225 lbs of him will be sitting out this fall, joining Ty and me as talented athletes not allowed to play college football in the coming months.

• Is Texas QB Garrett Gilbert going to start once again for the Longhorns? It’s a “probably maybe” at this point and I’m quoting myself there as I react to what The Statesman’s Kirk Bohls thinks.

• ESPN’s David Ubben has a post-spring Big Twen wrap that includes power rankings, though I would argue that the word “power” isn’t nearly as accurate a word as anything lesser would be.

• Penn State should get decent play from its defensive tackles. So there’s that.

• The first numbered Rivals 100 is out. Know that this will change when Rivals sees which schools agree and disagree with their rankings. They’re sluts like that.

• SB Nation’s stat deity Bill Connelly cuddles up to Indiana football. Somebody had to.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder profiles Oklahoma offensive coordinator Josh Heupel. He’s expected to mastermind a season of great hope marred by a loss to a lesser team on the road at night.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a talking dog, no big deal.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiHIZl4RNB4

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kristen Wiig, who stars in “Bridesmaids,” her comedy debut. After so many years on SNL, it’s clear she was ready for a change in genre.

*****

• The Wall Street Journal breaks down the success of first round NFL Draft picks. It all makes so much sense.

• The NCAA announced that no new bowls will be formed for at least three years. We can now officially mourn the possibility of Allentown’s proposed Hot Dog King Bowl.

• A huge, horrible tornado hit Tuscaloosa and barely missed Alabama’s Bryant-Denny Stadium. Here’s how you can help out.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg looks at B1G Ten draft bargains. The list rightfully includes the conference’s most efficient 2010 QB and most consistent WR. And, for what it’s worth, Minnesota QB Adam Weber.

• When it comes to the “postseason,” the newly-independent BYU will be treated like Army and Navy, not like Notre Dame. This means an agreement with ………. The Armed Forces Bowl!!!!

• Kentucky has inexperience playing behind an experienced offensive line. Things should improve now that the offense doesn’t have to face Toby “T-Bone” Griffin in practice every day. And yes, I am catching up on Justified, why?

• Stop what you’re doing — Kansas State coach Bill Snyder has officially made it public knowledge that Bryce Brown is talented.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller speaks with Arizona State OC Noel Mazzone. Ted’s video grab is much kinder than the last one we saw.

• Florida CB Janoris Jenkins and Florida coach Will Muschamp have agreed to mutually part ways. Only it wasn’t mutual at all.

• In hopes of keeping their BCS status, the Fiesta Bowl has pitched the BCS on the ways they will reform their business plan. I assume this means fewer strippers, but nothing’s finalized yet.

• Nicki Meyer’s dad isn’t going to Ohio State, you guys. Srsly.

• Presumed starting Illinois RB Jason Ford was arrested on an outstanding warrant. I imagine this means the warrant was both previously existed and was one of the more perfect warrants issued by the local police department.

• Addicted to Quack makes some predictions for the Ducks’ Saturday spring game (ESPN2 4 PM ET). Pay no attention to the radio and podcast host sitting 14 inches from his TV.

• SI.com’s Don Banks issues his final Mock Draft. Adam Weber is nowhere to be found. SI also ranks their Top 50 Overall Prospects. It’s still unclear whether any part of that last sentence needed to be capitalized.

• Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville is (was?) a birther. Do with this information what you will.

• Take a page from Auburn OC Gus Malzahn‘s playbook. Seriously, here’s a page.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vybSGMkqWbQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Hugh Grant, Oxford graduate. He is awarded this honor because apparently, two important people are getting married in England this week. Also, Grant is foppish. I think somebody actually invented the word “foppish” to describe Grant.

*****

• Ohio State officially received its notice of allegations from the NCAA, who are total HATERZ.

• More Florida players favor herbal remedies. Oh and pot. Lots of pot.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini signed a new contract a few weeks ago. I was sworn to secrecy, but one major incentive includes provisions for a curved hat bill that surpasses all geometric laws.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi wasn’t exactly wowed by the passing display put on in Ohio State’s Pryor-less spring game. He was, however, smitten with Jim Tressel’s boots.

• Rich Rodriguez spoke to CBS Sports bloggers about various football and personal topics. I didn’t read everything, so I’ll just assume he accuses most of the Michigan athletic department of being furries.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg speaks with Wisconsin’s running backs. West Coast Kevin may be right in openly wondering why we’ve never seen Rittenberg’s legs. The smart money is on him as a hovering Big-10 blogger.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller very politely points out that UCLA wasn’t very good in its spring game Saturday night.

He also accidentally becomes half of the greatest college football video screengrab of all time while interviewing USC defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin.

• FoxSports’s Lisa Horne reviews USC’s spring game. She was impressed by the secondary, which had the ideal assignment of playing against USC’s passing game.

• Oregon has specific spring game uniforms that feature camouflage and military-type ribbons. I’m given credit for the picture, even though I’m always roughly 850 miles from the Oregon locker room at all times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at Texas A&M and wonders if the winning belief is strong in College Station. He also rips six east Texas BBQ shacks for having too many vinegar molecules in their sauce. Perfectionist, that Staples.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel mailbags it up for the first time this spring. He doesn’t seem to be as in love with Oregon as others might be at this point, which clearly points to him being a HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden, the Danny Almonte of Big 12 QBs.

• A site has been created with the sole purpose of trying to get Cam Newton to take a lie detector test. Newton would in turn receive one million dollars for answer four questions related to his recruitment. Must be nice to have so much disposable income without the cares of perspective, rational behavior, or basic intelligence.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Our Idiot Brother.” Paul Rudd’s sweater makes me giggle.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oglpsxVjRY

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCSB graduate Dan Harmon, creator of Community, which made me laugh more than anything else did last night. It’s gotten unbearably easy to make it into this spot. Oh well.

*****
• Toomer’s Corner poisoner Harvey Updyke was attacked a couple of days ago after a hearing, so naturally he called into the Paul Finebaum show yesterday. It was all very much absurd and amazing. SB Nation’s Holly Anderson summarizes.

• Alabama coach Nick Saban recruits thoroughly. ESPN’s Jamie Newberg foolishly thinks he can enter the Saban recruiting world and not come back scarred and alone.

• If you at all watched Utah after mid-October, it should come as no surprise that the Utes’ defense was ahead of the offense during the spring game. The SLC Punk may need to start warming up his arm.

• Top RB recruit Jonathan Gray has selected … TEXAS!! Do you believe in Miracles? … YES!!

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney hosted a Clemson Fantasy Camp. Oh sure, it’s all middle aged fun and games until #95 falls down the hill. Fine, that was fun too.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller reports that USC coach Lane Kiffin is ready to be judged by his winning. As opposed to what exactly before?

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has a pleasant conversation with probably Wisconsin QB Jon Budamayr. At first glance, his name appears fun to say. I’ll keep you posted.

• Fox Sports Midwest tries to make sense of Blaine Gabbert’s run at QB for Mizzou. To my unprofessional, untrained eye, he always looked above average, but never worthy of elite conversations. That’s why they pay me the big bucks.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has had it UP TO HERE with the BCS’s threats regarding their anti-trust lawsuit. UP TO HERE!

• Michigan CB Cullen Christian is leaving Ann Arbor, making him the 47th defensive back to leave in two years. Hurts.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a Super Mario proposal. As in marriage proposal. I always approve of dorklove. Always.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_CxFnKrMBw

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the excellent Aisha Tyler, Dartmouth graduate and Archer (season finale tonight) voicestress.

*****

• UMass is joining the MAC. Forget everything you know.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart eulogizes the great career of legendary UNC broadcaster Woody Durham. No snark here — very little in sports is ever cooler than a old, trusted play by play guy.

• Harvey Updyke, the Alabama fan who poisoned the trees at Auburn‘s Toomer’s Corner, was attacked at a gas station after a court hearing. S-E-C! S-E-C!

• Virginia Tech is playing around with defensive line depth. DT Antoine Hopkins appears to be a name to remember, though unfortunately, it’ll probably get used with the word “lunch pail” and “blue collar.”

• The attorney general from the state of Utah is suing the BCS over the organization’s alleged status as an “illegal monopoly.” This will only end in almost nobody caring.

• Minnesota is all about tempo. Low and slow it is not.

• Northwestern and Stanford have agreed to a series of games. Most people are looking at this from a perspective of two esteemed academic institutions meeting, which is good enough for me.

• Michigan State‘s next step? Staying good every year, at least until being throttled by an SEC team on New Years.

• Speaking of which. Fox Sports Detroit profiles OL Arthur Ray, who, if there’s any justice in the world, should be flattening people come September.

• Oh and now you’re going to tell me cocaine trafficking should be off-limits for Duke linebackers?

• Touted high school QB Zeke Pike committed to Auburn. Zeke!

• Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen is doing a swell job in Starkville. This is all going to be quite uncomfortable when he leaves in the next two years.

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez has separated himself from the pack, at least for now. Sort of.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Terri” which looks good and makes me want to wear pajamas. Well, more.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpUzuZGiPho

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on AdultFriendFinder.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Columbia alum Art Garfunkel. Why? Just look at him. He’s Art Garfunkel, damnit.

*****

• Ohio State AD Gene Smith talks about his “nightmare” situation with Jim Tressel.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart has ten burning SEC questions. If the burning continues tomorrow morning for Mr. Barnhart, I recommend a trip to a physician for antibiotics and a stern talking-to about life decisions.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel isn’t thinking happy thoughts about Auburn‘s immediate future. HATERZ!!

• Former Alabama RB Mark Ingram is your NCAA 12 cover model, beating out Auburn’s Nick Fairley and two overvalued NFL Draft prospects.

• Iowa State coach Paul Rhoads punches a moose. AC-TING!!

• If you guessed “deer antler” as the source of a secret supplement that Auburn players used last year to supposedly heal faster, you have chosen wisely.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson visited TCU and has some double dashes to report.

• She also got some voice time with Boise State coach Chris Petersen. The usual topics were broached.

• Iowa State doesn’t quite seem to have a QB yet. Here’s to hoping I don’t have to copy/paste that in early October.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg visits Wisconsin and spends most of his space explaining why the Badgers can’t really complete a pass yet.

• Fox Sports’s Lisa Horne profiles incoming UCLA freshman QB Brett Hundley. Apparently, he has a magnificent smile.

• Don’t drop USC QB Matt Barkley‘s passes or run the wrong route. Just… don’t.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa‘s achilles is coming along nicely. You know, for an achilles that completely exploded.

• New San Diego State coach Rocky Long isn’t a fan of Boise State’s blue turf. Boohoo.

• South Carolina hearts Phil Collins.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is proof that, even if you don’t like the Foo Fighters, a giant band playing in a random guy’s garage is always cool.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWciVk_-5eo

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Marlo Stanfield, whose name is his name. If any college football coach yelled that at the end of an angry press conference, I think I’d abandon all Oregon loyalty and shift my allegiance immediately.

*****

• Notre Dame reached its own conclusions in their internal report regarding the windy day and the death of a videographer, so you know it’s probably accurate.

• Three high school football players of varying recruiting importance were arrested for stealing iPods and iPhones from the Georgia locker room. I’m holding out hope for Steve Jobs including this little factoid in his next keynote.

• New Michigan DC Greg Mattison is having an early effect on his players. And judging by the picture used, so is Joe Biden.

• Arizona‘s looking to do the unthinkable and win after Halloween this year. They’re hoping Texas WR transfer Dan Buckner will help.

• Tennessee QB Tyler Bray goes on a cliché-a-thon. It really is 110% impressive.

• Iowa State coach Paul Rhoads is Q’d and offers up some A’s. SO PROUD.

• FoxSports has a summary of Oklahoma’s spring game. Sooner LB Travis Lewis knew I was going to write that.

• Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino gets the SmartFootball treatment. And by that, I mean his passing plays get broken down in an intelligent fashion.

• Track ‘em Tigers has an Auburn spring game report. Solid Verbal interview hero/Auburn OL John Sullen gets high marks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of moderately awesome amateur videos from March.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT94JaDfVwY

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kate Upton because, damnit, she Dougies for Arash Markazi. And appears on Jimmy Traina’s podcast. And looks like Kate Upton.

*****

• Former Auburn OL Chaz Ramsey, who was interviewed on the HBO special about money and NCAA athletes, will speak to the NCAA about his allegations of under-the-table payments and ticket sales.

• After falling to 4th on the depth chart, Ole Miss QB Nathan Stanley will transfer. This makes it a perfect 10 players to leave Oxford since the end of 2010. I blame the Tom Kite Black Bear.

• The Big 12 has a new TV deal with Fox Sports worth a little over a billion (with a “b”) dollars to show all Big 12 sporting evens, including every football game that ESPN/ABC or school-operated channels won’t. To clarify, this even includes any Kansas/Iowa State matchups.

ESPN’s David Ubben reacts.

• Arizona State and Washington State have new uniforms. I’m grading Wazzu a bit higher on this one. Gray gets the nod.

• ESPN’s David Ubben visits Stillwater to get the straight poop on Oklahoma State. Pyongyang awaits your thoughts, sir.

• Northwestern and Notre Dame are going to play each other. They’ll fight over the Mandel-Hildenbrandt Cup.

• Kentucky QB Morgan Newton is once again starting. Let’s hope that sentence isn’t vacated.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg files notes from Ann Arbor. Like most of us, he’s captivated by QB Denard Robinson‘s effortless smile.

• How are things at QB in Berkeley? Good? Average? Uncomfortable? I have no idea.

• Want to know what USC QB Matt Barkley sees (other than possible rooftop shenanigans)? Fox Sports West straps on. A camera.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples profiles Keyshawn Johnson’s 7-on-7 team and training program, which definitely isn’t AAU football. Definitely not.

• You know that new Purdue Pete brought in to be less scary to the kiddies? Already done in West Lafayette.

• A former BYU professor explores Cougar athletes (mainly football players) and honor code violations.

• Rivals profiles Florida State QB EJ Manuel because it’s April and that’s what you do in April.

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden‘s mom has no idea where her son will be going to school this fall. Perhaps a phone call is in order.

• EDSBS has an updated Howard Schnellenberger Top 25. Suspenders are just CRUISING.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for Rise of The Planet of the Apes. Damn you James Franco!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqyKYrDta_E

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Rob Moseley from the Eugene Register-Guard about hangover effects after losing to Auburn, stigmas surrounding Chip Kelly’s offense, expectations for the offensive line, and Oregon’s chances of getting back to the BCS Championship.  Plus, Verballer e-mails and the triumphant return of Gentle Ben.

Ty and Dan welcome Eric Hansen from the South Bend Tribune to the show to discuss Michael Floyd’s status, Brian Kelly’s philosophies, the sudden rise of the Irish defense, and realistic expectations for the Notre Dame football program in 2011.  Plus, more news about players getting paid.  Who would’ve guessed?

Today’s Chorus is (again) brought to you by Tommy Lee, brief Nebraska drummer, and longtime strip club enthusiast. Who would’ve thought that yesterday would’ve brought the Fiesta Bowl CEO and Lee one step closer?

*****

• Fiesta Bowl CEO John Junker was fired for being laughably corrupt — using bowl funds to, among other things, underwrite strip club excursions, golf vacations, and political contribution reimbursements. If you’re going to go out, this is the way to go.

• Four former Auburn players spoke with HBO about the pay-for-play scheme they were involved in while in school. Just warning you — the uninformed manufactured reaction-outrage from sportswriters is much worse than anything in this story.

SB Nation has a good summary of the madness.

• Florida State‘s spring is primed. If they’re good this year, get ready for as many “Manuel/Manual” puns as you can handle.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has eyes everywhere, and this case they’re his as he attends a Colorado practice and sends in some bullet points.

• Here’s an early look at ESPN’s game broadcast schedule. It appears that the Auburn spring game is only offered via pay-per-view.

• Nebraska DT Jared Crick will miss spring practice because of a knee injury. Think nothing of it, rest of B1G Ten.

• Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt literally has a circle of trust. Literally.

• Oregon practice opened yesterday. RB Lache Seastrunk was faster than everyone.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a heated argument between twin babies that can’t yet form words or sentences.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JmA2ClUvUY

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan are joined by Jake Trotter from The Oklahoman to discuss Oklahoma as the preseason No. 1 team, the future of the Big 12, and annual Bob Stoops coaching rumors.  Plus, Verballer e-mails.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by USC attendee Tom Selleck, whose Magnum PI character was aped perfectly on Archer last night with “Terms of Enrampagement.” If you’re not watching Archer, I’m not sure you should be reading or listening to us. Ok, I take that back. Watch Archer, though.

*****

• If you heard yesterday’s show with Yahoo’s Charles Robinson, it won’t come as a surprise that embattled Ohio State coach Jim Tressel did, in fact, forward the emails (he got from his lawyer source regarding memorabilia sales) to QB Terrelle Pryor‘s hometown mentor.

• South Carolina über DE recruit Jadeveon Clowney was searched by police last night. I’m not sure if this actually news, but not the ideal photograph to see for Gamecock fans on a random March morning.

• In less troubling news, South Carolina basketball player Bruce Ellington (leading scorer) will try his hand at football. He played the sport in high school and is expected to get a look at slot receiver.

• Is Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville “miserable” in Lubbock? Apparently, three SportsbyBrooks sources seem to think so.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd looks at BYU’s newfound independence. I’m not crazy about how often he uses the word “hallelujah.” Seriously.

Oh and don’t forget … BYU primer!

• ESPN’s Ted Miller runs down Oregon State’s spring. It’s college, so coach Mike Riley will do some experimenting… with the offense, sickos!

Speaking of which, Oregon State blog Building the Dam has more on Beaver updates. Oregon State Beaver updates, sickos!

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg looks at B1G Ten WRs. Slowly. With a bead of sweat running down his forehead.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett offers a quick Big East scorecard of coaching moves. Pitt seems somehow … different.

• Minnesota‘s offense will look different this fall. The fine folks at The Daily Gopher are kind enough to explain what that means.

• Auburn CB Neiko Thorpe is moving to safety. This is only newsworthy because he was unable to answer any of our basic questions at media day in January. My man!

• Rivals primes Georgia Tech. Yellowjacket coach Paul Johnson doesn’t care one way or the other.

• Michigan safety Ray Vinopal is transferring to Pitt, according to the Youngstown Vindicator. Yes, that’s a real thing.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jimmy Kimmel mashing up Jershey Shore and the Justice League. Because why not that’s why.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JK_fM-wUpQ

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community’s Yvette Nicole Brown, a proud Akron graduate who should be watching the Zips upset Notre Dame today. You laughed yesterday at my Morehead State reference and look what happened. Don’t doubt me! Or the Zips!

*****

• The NCAA upheld the suspensions of five Ohio State players for selling memorabilia, and then Buckeye coach Jim Tressel self-extended his own suspension to five gamesfor not disclosing knowledge. Who would’ve thunk it would’ve all happened during day one of the NCAA Tournament? Amazing!

Oh and the NCAA hasn’t ruled on Tressel yet so it’s all just PR at this point. Still amazing!

SI’s Andy Staples writes about this using more words than I’m willing to give you for free.

• FINALLY, somebody writes something about Florida’s spring.

• NBC Miami is reporting that up to six Miami players will be suspended for their home opener against Maryland. This story seems to agree with the earlier OT Seantrel Henderson rumor.

• GQ says LSU fans are the tenth worst in all of sports. The picture they chose to illustrate this, well, doesn’t.

• ESPN’s David Ubben bullet points what he saw in Columbia during Missouri’s spring practice. The word “Gabbert” is tossed around quite a bit, whatever that means.

• EDSBS has a condiment bracket. This has nothing to do with college football and everything to do with condiments. Oh and it’s mostly incorrect.

• An Auburn blog is outraged with an off-air Paul Finebaum speech in which he (hark!) seems very much pro-Alabama.

• Rivals Primers: Florida State and Arizona. All Some Stoopseseses must go!!

• Hey Nebraska players, don’t get fat. Thanks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is movie titles said aloud in movies. Jumanji!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V1sYNvKZt8

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Georgia alum Kyle Chandler. He was Coach Taylor on Friday Night Lights and stars in JJ Abrams’s “Super 8.” Clear eyes, etc.

*****

—> JOIN THE SOLID VERBAL NCAA POOL <—

• Four Auburn football players were arrested and charged with robbery. Excuse me, four FORMER Auburn players were arrested and charged with robbery. Fulmer Cup implications are here.

• It just would be the offseason without the annual Michigan State arrests — this time, though, the Spartan players tried something new and were arrested for assault and eluding police IN ASPEN. Gentlemen Spartans!

• Georgia coach Mark Richt is used to his seat being warmed by loving Georgia fans.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller examines Colorado’s depth. Sadly, he hasn’t been the same since.

• LSU is looking for an “offense,” whatever that is.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans looks at the different persons of interest and trends regarding recruiting services in a four part series. You can either read it yourself or have a stripper read an audio version to you.

• Barry Switzer is surprised you’d even call what Jim Tressel did “cheating.”

• SI.com’s Andy Staples asks SEC questions. The more I watch the accompanying videos, the more I think “Stew n’ Andy” should be a sitcom after “Meet the Browns” on TBS. <– Meant as a compliment.

• According to the Columbus Dispatch and Bob Hunter‘s giant byline picture, ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit moved to Nashville to get away from a small percentage of Ohio State fans we’ll call “The Crazies.”

• Is Miami OT Seantrel Henderson suspended for Miami’s opener at Maryland? Yes? No? Possibly? Anyone?

• UNC CB Charles Brown, who missed the 2010 season due to the school’s mass agent-connected suspensions, will sit out the Heels’ opener before becoming eligible to play.

• The NCAA sees Yahoo!!!!! reports as “supernaturally good at uncovering NCAA violations.” I think this means Charles Robinson has heat vision, though my reading comprehension is pretty low.

• Arkansas should probably be quite good this year. Rivals has the deets. That may be the hippest sentence I’ll ever write.

• Is Connor Wood outperforming the other Texas QBs during spring practice? The view from the  blimp that the Statesman’s Kirk Bohls rented indicates “possibly.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Zach Galifianakis preparing for his Mr. T sketch on SNL.

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Travis Barker, alumnus of no college or university. With that said, he still has a hell of a tat hookup in Columbus.

*****

• As of now, Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has been suspended two games (Akron and Toledo) and fined $250,000 by his bosses for knowingly playing ineligible players and not fully disclosing his knowledge of their memorabilia sales. The NCAA is yet to fully investigate this and arbitrarily reach a decision of their own.

Here is THE Ohio State documentation and submission to the NCAA. Included is the email proof of knowledge by Tressel.

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach had such high hopes for Tressel.

• UCLA DT Brandon Willis is transferring to North Carolina after committing to Tennessee, enrolling at North Carolina, then transferring to UCLA. We’re all excited to see him exhaust his eligibility without actually ever becoming eligible to play.

• The Huntsville, AL radio host who said he had tapes of Cecil Newton got canned for not actually having them. Oops.

• CBS Sports is priming for Washington State’s spring. Same goes for you, Missouri.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples looks at the questions that Virginia Tech and the ACC face in 2011. Some things you can’t unsee.

• Who are the ten best receivers in the SEC? ESPN’s Chris Low knows. EXCLUSIVE!!

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich went to a Miami practice and all I got were these bullet points.

• Some notes from Texas spring practice. Summary: Nobody knows much right now.

• Fox Sports Southwest examines the questions surrounding TCU’s spring and beyond. I’ll go out on a limb and say some Horned Frog will still wear smeared warpaint as eyeblack.

• An early look at the best non-conference games of 2011. And because it’s Fox, there’s a link in the middle to a site asking, “Are the girls of the SEC the hottest?” Not a joke.

• The Internet has demanded more Wyoming football players showing a camera around their homes and Wyoming football players have delivered.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jackass for Girls.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgwTU9-a_3I

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Tufts University student Jessica Biel. Fun Fact: I once saw her execute a perfect flip throw-in during a club soccer game like twelve years ago. More Fun Facts: Tufts is known as the Jumbos, wears baby blue, and went 1-7 last year. They basically own Hamilton.

*****
• Oregon is willing to comply with any questions the NCAA has regarding their use of recruiting services. While they’re at it, I wouldn’t be completely against the NCAA forcing Oregon to institute quality late night food establishments on 13th St. Do what needs to be done, guys.

• ESPN’s David Ubben recaps a somewhat eventful weekend in the Big 12 (Iowa State arrests!). Excuse me, eventful for early March.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa is still healing from his achilles injury. I have the video to prove it. Fine, ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has the video.

• Virginia Tech went to the Orange Bowl — yaaaay!!!! Virginia Tech lost $1.6 million doing so — awwwww!!!

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer visited Rutgers and talked to coach Greg Schiano about the progress of paralyzed DT Eric LeGrand and the future of Rutgers football.

• If there’s an NFL lockout, playing on Sundays could maybe sort of become a college football option, but probably kind of.

• Tim Tebow and Urban Meyer get caught up in the forbidden dance at Disneyworld.

• Washington players have been exercising. Good idea, guys.

• Rivals’s Mike Huguenin (pronounced An-der-son) looks at problematic 2011 defensive position situations.

• Rivals also previews Utah going into the spring. This includes the casual inclusion of a possible new QB named “Griff.”

• Virginia fans took Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow” and made it “Blue and Orange.” It’s so much worse than you think it is.

• A former Auburn basketball player also threw his proverbial rap hat into the ring with a Toomer’s Corner video. I get that people want to express their feelings through music, but wher are the emo and/or rockabilly versions?

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is “The President’s Speech.”

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnxNnJYziMY

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter here.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Yale dropout Claire Danes. You know what they didn’t invent at Yale? The Facebook. And yes, I just saw The Social Network again, why?

*****

• Yahoo!!!!!! and ESPN are reporting that Oregon paid recruiting services, reported it in their financial statements, but are not being investigated by the NCAA for doing so, at least not as of now.

SI’s Andy Staples actually has firsthand experience with these camps and services and weighs in.

I’m warning you now, though, your favorite older columnists will or have already turned into Helen Lovejoy over the ordeal.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa is healing. Woo.

• Former Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt disagrees with the Panthers being singled out by the SI crime story and defends his discipline record. Methinks, Dave, methinks.

• Michigan blog “Maize ‘n Brew” debriefs the Rich Rodriguez era.

• Auburn lost around $600,000 on the BCS Championship game. Shouldn’t have bet the over, guys.

• John Bond, the former Mississippi State QB in the middle of the Cecil/Cam Newton ordeal says the recently-released audiotape is “not authentic.” Dun dun DUNNNN.

• Washington RB John Fogerson was arrested Thursday for marijuana possession and resisting arrest. And by that I mean he ran away. Brave.

• Clemson enters a new era with new QB Tajh Boyd. Prediction: 8-4 will somehow feel fresh in 2011 for the Tigers.

• CBS Sports columnists pick their favorite stadiums. The Coliseum comes in at number ten, which tells me that nobody CBS Sports has never been to The Coliseum. Expensive/inconvenient parking! No comfort! Bad sight lines! Top ten!

• EDSBS Fulmer Cup Update? EDSBS Fulmer Cup Update!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the new video for the The Strokes single “Under Cover of Darkness.” Beyond it being a good song, it was a good reminder that music videos somehow still exist.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_l09H-3zzgA

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Washington graduate Anna Faris. She’s attractive, in a new movie that seems like it could be good, and is married to Andy Dwyer. Good enough for me.

*****

• Iowa released a statement reacting to Sports Illustrated’s story regarding the criminal histories of college football players. In conclusion, some Iowa players got drunk before they turned 21.

• Boise State did the same and noted that of the 16 reported offenses, “three have been dismissed, six were traffic related, five were alcohol related, one was for trespassing and one was for battery.” So it looks like the Broncos will press on in lieu of the horrors SI is reporting.

• Additionally, SI‘s story singled out Pitt as a program with players responsible for a number of crimes. And then the story of Pitt OL Fernando Diaz getting tased four times as he resisted arrest came out. Oops.

• After offseason review and the hiring of former NFL VP of Officiating Mike Pereira as a consultant, the Pac-12 has rid itself of 11 referees. Exciting.

• Arizona WR Bug Wright is no longer part of the team. He looked to be a crucial member of a squad expected to be ranked early and then fade late in 2011.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller wraps up the  Pac-12‘s performance at the NFL Scouting Combine. It’s mostly about large people.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett quickly profiles second year Louisville coach Charlie Strong. Lou-uh-vull.

• UConn is down some cash after winning the Big East and failing to convince its fans that the Fiesta Bowl is worth the hassle. Pretty airtight logic.

• A Cecil Newton audio recording has been released, though the term “audio” is open to interpretation.

• New NCAA president Mark Emmert is open to a playoff. This means nothing.

• Did Iowa‘s rhabdo outbreak scare off five-star OT Cyrus Kouandjio from signing with the Hawkeyes? No, it’d be the whole “living in Iowa” thing that did that.

• The new ESPN/Texas network has hired production executives. Adjust your day accordingly.

• Purdue has a new Nike uniform that looks a lot like a Purdue uniform.

• Want to know where Nebraska DE Cameron Meredith stands politically? Wonder no more.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a gut being hit by a pellets from an airsoft gun at 1280 frames per second. It’s transfixing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWQC9AFAr0

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Billy Crystal, esteemed NYU graduate. We all miss his hostmanship. One time, somebody misheard the name of the show as “The Solid Purple” and assumed we only covered NYU Violet sports. They don’t have a football team, but it’s still a pretty brilliant spinoff idea.

*****

• Sports Illustrated and CBS News published an investigation of the criminal histories of college football players. Apparently, a percentage of players have them.

EDSBS’s Spencer Hall reacts with questions about context. Pesky.

• ESPN radio host Colin Cowherd says a school (confirmed to him as Oregon) will be hit with major recruiting violations. CollegeFootballTalk says it’s not the Ducks.

• NFL agent Gary Wichard, who found himself at the center of last year UNC investigation, must turn over financial records to NCAA investigators, per a new search warrant.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers had a second knee surgery. If you’re outside of the west coast, you’ve probably only seen him for a second and a half, and unfortunately, that may be all you get.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles Oklahoma and Bob Stoops. Sorry, did that deserve “BREAKING” before it? I can never tell.

• ESPN‘s bloggers issue five (and only five) questions about the ACC, Big 12, and Pac-12 springs, respectively. But it’d be better if it was disrespectively.

• Former B1G Ten players participated in the NFL Scouting Combine. Here is a collection of numbers.

• ESPN’s Chris Low contends that SEC players in the Combine were fast. Low also comes to the defense of Nick Fairley. FINALLY!

• Fox Sports reviews the top 12 offseason QB battles. Information!

• Conference USA appears to be the prettiest girl at this week’s TV Rights Dance.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Iowa RB Marcus Coker and also, reviews names to learn this spring.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart tries to make his way back into your heart by creating conference all-star staffs. I see no listing for a Steele, Lexington re: all-star staffs.

He also profiles Mississippi State and West Coast Kevin’s boy, Chris Relf.

• Paul Finebaum is photoshopped into Ghost molding the Nick Saban statue. Boom.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dubbed Two a Half Men / Charlie Sheen interview mash-up.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtMSvZ7Mwow

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter here.

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about Lane Kiffin, quarterbacks in the SEC, the bear population in Mississippi, and tattoos.  Plus, what the F is the Internet?

He is a graduate of the University of Ottowa and Today’s Chorus sponsor. Who is Alex Trebek? (see what I did there?)

*****

• Purdue WR Keith Smith has been denied a sixth year of eligibility.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall is terrified/mildly aroused (terrifoused?) at the new Nick Saban statue that will soon be found on Alabama’s campus.

• The Wall Street Journal is intrigued by SEC oversigning. My favorite sentence? “Sometimes, however, the math simply goes awry.”

• Michigan QB Denard Robinson appeared on Jeopardy! last night. For realsies.

• ESPN’s Chris Low reviews both the weekend and yesterday’s performance by the SEC at the NFL Scouting Combine. It all means very little.

• Ditto for ESPN’s Ted Miller and the Pac-12.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach (BAH) has eleven spring storylines to follow. It only involves noteworthy or recently successful teams. Amazing.

• Here’s a glance at Ole Miss‘s new mascot head. Tom Kite is already gushing over the headwear.

• Was Cam Newton in the room when Cecil Newton was allegedly recorded on tape talking about pricing? I have no idea.

• Stanford‘s just cruising along, thanks.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart puts together a (99% west coast-free!) dream team staff. His two DL dream team coaches were the front line of defenses that finished 7th in the Pac-10 and 7th in the SEC against the run last year. Wonderful.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jimmy Kimmel guiding supremely attractive women onto exercise balls. And then they hump the balls.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKekcHMiVVg

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Maryland alum Jim Henson, the late creator of the Muppets. I don’t doubt for a second that he’d like the Terps’ new uniforms.

*****

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd looks at the BCS’s tax-exempt status. Crap, The Solid Verbal may be next.

• Iowa WR Marvin McNutt will miss spring practice after having both shoulder and thumb surgery. I’m assuming an Iowa player missing time without the reason including the word “test” is a relief.

• The NFL Scouting Combine is ongoing. Here are some top performers. Surf around for all times. Man, I miss using the word “surf” when talking about the Interwebz.

• Miami AD Kirby Hocutt is leaving for the same position at Texas Tech. He blames his family. Harsh.

• The trees at Auburn’s Toomer’s Corner have a fightin’ chance. Now I’m imagining trees fighting each other, and it … is … AWESOME.

• Georgia RB Washaun Ealey has been reinstated after two weeks. Possibly the most crucial two weeks of the college football year.

• Want to know what’s going on with Penn State QB Rob Bolden and him possibly transferring? This video of him offers few answers.

• Maryland has new uniforms that may or may not look like tight racing jumpsuits.

• Florida State blog Tomahawk Nation takes a statistical look at 2010′s first-year defensive coordinators. East Carolina‘s got some ‘splainin to do. Or they’re just not good at the whole “defense” thing.

• Rivals looks at ten offseason offensive line storylines. That sentence was more difficult to type than I anticipated when I started.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the preview for Riverdale, a non-existant Archie movie.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=djRAiiFlCy8

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Sterling Mallory Archer. I know not of his formal education, I just know that he gave me the line “…like the Pelé of anal” and that’s more than enough.

*****
• An arrest was made after it was confirmed that somebody had poisoned the soil at Toomer’s Corner, the historic section of oak trees on Auburn‘s campus. Harvey Updyke, an Alabama fan who confirmed his responsibility on the Paul Finebaum Show, was arrested yesterday and held on a charge of criminal mischief.

Leaving voicemails for an Auburn turfgrass management professor’s also didn’t help Updyke’s cause.

SI’s Andy Staples explains why all college football fans should be concerned.

Here’s a candid shot.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd looks at 25 things to watch this spring. I didn’t see NBC’s “Perfect Couples” listed anywhere here.

• Mark Cuban created an LLC to back up his plans to present an alternative to the current college football postseason. And now Oxford is involved, as in England Oxford.

• North Carolina fullback Devon Ramsay will be eligible to play in 2011 after playing only four games in 2010 before being suspended by the NCAA. Oh, and it appears he didn’t do anything wrong. Oops.

• ESPN’s bloggers have spring previews. I suspect the B1G Ten’s Adam Rittenberg may be getting paid by the bullet point.

B1G Ten — Legends and Leaders divisions.

Pac-12 — North and South divisions.

• The Big 12′s David Ubben looks at the conference’s QB situations.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett speaks with West Virginia coach-in-waiting Dana Holgersen. You want goofy offensive coordinator smiles? Oh I GOT goofy smiles.

• Former Rutgers QB Tom Savage will now be known as current Arizona QB Tom Savage. A special note for Mr. Savage: The guy with the steaming face is your coach.

• Illinois’s Ron Zook and Boise State’s Chris Petersen now have something in common — they both got raises yesterday. This is the end of their venn diagram.

• Oregon RB Dontae Williams is opting to transfer. Williams redshirted in 2010. Worry not, Duck fans, the backfield goes about five-deep at the moment. Such problems…

• The NCAA isn’t just investigating Cam Newton‘s Auburn recruitment, but also the recruitment of OL Greg Robinson and WR Travon Reed, both of Thibodaux, LA. Tick tock…

• SB Nation’s Ted Glover speaks with new Minnesota coach Jerry Kill. KILLLLLL!!!!

• 247 Sports/SI.com has handpicked the first 5-star recruits of the 2012 class. It includes an “Andrus,” a “Dorial,” and a “Gunner.” NICE.

• Arizona State‘s first “Sparky” is a pretty excellent human being.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Arthur.” Katy Perry’s husband is involved.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtTVquZ2TFk

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan examine the strange case of “Al from Dadeville,” the ballad of Rick Neuheisel, and the various assistant coaching hires around the country.  Plus, listener messages.

A great commercial, now remixed with that special Al from Dadeville touch. Roll damn Tide!!

REEEEEEEEEEMIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by SI Swimsuit model, Mrs. Dan Rubenstein. Or Kate Upton. I um, er, uh, I just, I. Oh bother. Let’s just assume she’s interested in college football, ok?

*****

• UCLA hired a defensive coordinator. It’s former USF and Cincinnati DC Joe Tresey, who just happened to be coaching defensive backs for the UFL’s Omaha Nighthawks. Can somebody say “coaching pipeline?”

• EDSBS has a list of the 35 coaches Maryland REALLY wanted ahead of Randy Edsall. WARNING: Ruffin McNeill‘s Ass-Belly Sweat is a mental image that won’t soon leave you.

• USF coach Skip Holtz sat down with ESPN’s Brian Bennett for an extensive interview. I didn’t read it in its entirety, but to be safe, just assume that there are hidden messages in Holtz’s answers leading to buried treasure.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich previews the spring for ACC teams in BOTH the Coastal and Atlantic divisions. Mid-February knowledge bombs aplenty.

• ESPN’s David Ubben does the same for the Big 12. With no byline, though, I can only presume… unless, oh no, WHERE’S HEATHER DINICH?!?!

• Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer hired son Shane Beamer to coach running backs. Here’s to hoping giant headphones get grandfathered in.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans has a behind-the-scenes look at Jadeveon Clowney’s recruitment. I’ll save you some time, it’s mostly about Clowney’s nonstop drive to perform well on his AP tests.

• Randy Shannon politely declined an offer to become Maryland‘s defensive coordinator. Oh, and you WOULD pay $1.5 million for the right to call plays for the Terps?

• There’s a possibility that the 13 hospitalized Iowa players could transfer and play immediately in 2011. I’m sure if it comes to pass, coach Kirk Ferentz will try to convince them to stay … six days after they decide to leave.

• Auburn players offer only the most competitive rates for paper-writing. Good for them.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart lists the ten programs he’s most excited to see this spring. Rivals also has primers for each conference.

• Kegs ‘n Eggs has the spring schedules for everyone.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, at its essence, pure swagg.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4T__lCzZgk

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brooklyn Decker, whose husband is a Nebraska fan. The B1G Ten just got an attractiveness boost!

*****

• The NCAA Rules Committee is recommending new rules. You know now that I think about it, I was having a little too much time watching college football.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall helps Jadeveon Clowney pick a school. All class, all the time, that Hall.

• SmartFootball’s Chris Brown looks at red-zone options for pass first, airraid offenses. Smart.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller gets a Colorado primer from ESPN’s David Ubben. Writing “Colorado primer” makes me think it’s either a crazy sexual act or the best sandwich nobody’s heard of.

• ESPN’s Ubben also speaks with Big 12 (10) commissioner Dan Beebe. He never mentions Ty’s sound effect. Weak.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples writes that high school football 7on7 camps and tournaments are inching closer and closer to basketball’s AAU system. But with pink socks.

• SportsbyBrooks reviews Alabama LB/asst head coach Sal Sunseri‘s recruiting techniques.

KTBS (Shreveport) reporter Rick Rowe produced a four-part special on the recruitment of DE prospect Jermauria Rasco (featuring Sunseri).

• Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt definitely doesn’t oversign recruiting classes. Oh wait, I wrote that sentence incorrectly. Can YOU figure out where?

• Unless he gets PAID to play baseball, Nebraska QB signee Bubba Starling plans to play football. Sounds about right.

• A caller to Paul Finebaum‘s radio show was having a heart attack while he called. Probably over Kenneth Cole’s spring line.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nine year old from Tanzania recapping “Commando.” Only way it should be.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLix4QPL3tY

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Andy Staples to discuss recruiting wars in the SEC, the re-emergence of Florida State, and God’s Power Offor’s other profession.  Plus, a full boat of Verballer e-mails from the last few weeks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Farley, who apparently loved the Green Bay Packers. And Paul McCartney.

*****

• Top OT recruit Cyrus Kouandjio signed with Alabama after all. Auburn fans are claiming recruiting shenanigans, which is funny because Auburn fans are claiming recruiting shenanigans.

This includes the daughter of former Auburn coach Pat Dye, who herself was active on Kouandjio’s Facebook page. Classy.

• ESPN’s Desmond Howard and CBS’s Phil Simms had to separated over Simms’s anger over Howard’s tweets re: Simms’s son, Tennessee QB Matt Simms. It’s all very exciting.

• According to ESPN’s Joe Schad, former Michigan QB Tate Forcier is down to five lucky schools. It’s like The Bachelor but with an undersized, overrated, pouty QB.

• Nebraska is trying to hire former QB and current Oregon WR coach Scott Frost to an open offensive coaching position. He’s apparently well-liked by Huskers coach Bo Pelini, which seems to make him the only one right now.

• There are new assistants in the B1G Ten. Rejoice!

• Touted Florida QB recruit Jacoby Brissett made a decision (Florida) and faxed in his LOI. Beeeeeee dooooooooo buuunnnnnn bunnn krrrrrrrrrrr shhhhhhhhhh. That’s what a fax machine kind of sounds like.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel tries to figure out what exactly Alabama coach Nick Saban is talking about when he addresses the Tide’s funny little oversigning habit.

• Some Ole Miss fans aren’t giving up the Colonel Reb fight. And they’ve taken to the streets! Ok, billboards.

• USC DL coach Ed Orgeron is the subject of an NCAA investigation. Of all the coaching staffs of all the teams in college football…

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Christina Aguilera’s Super Bowl national anth. What? If she can skip parts, so can I.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=byWqsfP1eKo

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oklahoma alumnus Olivia Munn. I could be wrong, but head to head, I’m going with the Sooner recruiting class of 2011 to outlast Munn’s NBC show, “Perfect Couples.”

*****

• Rich Rodriguez talks about his time in Ann Arbor with CBS’s Dennis Dodd. If you can believe it, he’s a bit defensive. See what I did there? Nailed it.

• Alabama had a dance team girl retrieve faxed-in letters of intent during Alabama’s live video stream Wednesday. She was wearing her uniform and is attractive. Dun dun DUN.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini celebrated the Huskers’ great class on Signing Day by not holding a press conference and getting rid of some the staff members that brought in the 2011 class. Buzzkill.

• Florida QBs Trey Burton and Jordan Reed are no longer QBs in OC Charlie Weis’s offense.

• Undecided QB recruit Jacoby Brissett (West Palm Beach, FL) is rumored to be announcing for Florida tonight. And he would be a QB in OC Charlie Weis‘s offense.

• UCLA QB Kevin Prince is still hurt. I copy/pasted that sentence from an item in October.

• The list of players invited to the NFL Combine has been released. Upon first glance, I noticed the oversight of no Lafayette Leopards. They’ll make you pay, NFL, they’ll make you pay.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers analyze the recruiting cycle for the various teams and conferences they cover. I now know BYU has an incoming OT named Ryker Mathews, who is now my favorite incoming BYU OT.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has updated his too-early Top 25 after Signing Day. We can now all exhale.

• ESPN/ABC analyst Bob Griese retired from broadcasting after a 30 year career calling games. Now it’s just time to relax and enjoy life. And tacos.

• Touted 2011 OT recruit Cyrus Kouandjio still doesn’t know where he’s going to sign. I say we give the kid a break — have you ever had ONLY two years to make A decision. Exactly, back off.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) looks at how the roster of new coaches fared on their first Signing Day.

• The Class of 2011 is soooooo earlier this week. SB Nation’s Andy Hutchins looks to 2012.

• Auburn has behind-the-scenes video from Wednesday. Gene Chizik is a RIOT.

• Ditto for Illinois, though it appears there may have been technological snafus. Yeah, I said “snafus.”

• New SDSU coach Rocky Long is not a fan of BYU.

• Mitch Mustain will NOT be charged with selling prescription narcotics. Whew.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy wakeboarding through cranberries. Damnit, now I need some Ocean Spray.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGf6earGAOc

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Brandon Huffman from Scout.com and Chris Pool of ESPN and Scouts, Inc. to discuss all the action from National Signing Day, including the rise of Oregon and Auburn, the fall of UCLA, the marathon coverage by ESPNU, and thunder snow.

Because it’s much easier to just list things than figuring out a cohesive narrative, I organized a chaotic National Signing Day into three thoroughly unoriginal categories.

The Good

Florida State
Certain words come to mind when looking at the players Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher signed, but I’ll go with “unfair.” Depth on both lines has been exponentially secured for years to come and speed has been added to both the offensive and defensive backfields to further load (all from FL) what looks to be the ACC Atlantic division favorite for years to come. Despite all of this, the first thing I think about? E.J. Manuel better not screw this up.

Isiah Crowell
What’s better than announcing your commitment to the big school in your home state (Georgia)? Doing it with a puppy, that’s what. Shrewd.

Urban Meyer
Here’s what we want from our analysts – homework, opinions, and an ability to articulate both of these things in a clear, concise manner. Urban Meyer intimately knew what he was talking about (having recruited most of the prospects he spoke of), took clear positions, and seemed natural doing so 4-5 hours into an all-day broadcast.

USC
There are a lot of reasons why USC is an attractive place to play – location, opportunity, academics, tradition, and exposure come to mind. I’m not sure the promise of development, college coaching success, and program stability fall into that list, which is why the Trojans nabbing ten Rivals 100 players is all the more impressive. Somebody smarter than I now needs to place all this potential in “Potential Transfers,” “Potential Troublemakers,” and “Potential Somehow Reached” columns.

DeAnthony Thomas
Come on, you had to be expecting this here.

This VW Commercial
I saw it yesterday, so it counts.

The Bad

Iron Bowl Pressures
Noted prospects Brent Calloway (OLB) and Cyrus Kouandjio (OT) struggled with their decisions between Alabama and Auburn (and possibly New Mexico or Iowa in Cyrus K’s case) to the point that Calloway had to go into hiding before announcing (Alabama) and Kouandjio developed a nervous tick and couldn’t sleep in the days leading up to Signing Day. I’m assuming the daily phone calls from coaches and ‘round-the-clock harassment from competing fanbases didn’t particularly help. Cut to Kouandjio, despite announcing for Auburn, not sending in his letter of intent, as he remains unsure.

Savon Huggins + Michael Eubank
Two dumb announcement strategies (Huggins to Rutgers, Eubank to ASU) — picking up a hat and either putting it on or almost putting it on before deciding to don another school’s headwear. Weak.

Rick Neuheisel
Go to UCLA. Walk around campus any time of the year. If Rick Neuheisel can’t attract (alleged) top football talent to either stay home in LA or come to LA anymore, he’s doing it wrong. Well, he’s doing it wrong.

Class Rankings
A constant focus of the coverage, even though it’s impossible to realistically compare one group to another when schools have such varying recruiting styles and needs. The silver lining here is almost everyone agreed on a mix of the three or five schools who brought in the most bountiful haul. Even CBS’s Tom Lemming finally put his long-known Notre Dame bias behind him and agreed that … oh jeez, did he really do this again?

License Plate Decisions
Todd Peat, a defensive tackle from Arizona, who by all means may be a terrific human being, chose Nebraska over Arizona State after spotting a Nebraska license plate in his home state, which he interpreted as a sign to choose the Huskers over the hometown Sun Devils. This begs the question — how did he not see Arizona plates in Tempe???

The Uncomfortable

A Different Chris Carter

Ohio State received one less letter of intent than expected after giant OL recruit Chris Carter was arrested for “sexual imposition,” allegedly lying to girls about measuring them for ROTC uniforms. Excuse me, THE “sexual imposition.”

Mitch Mustain, Amateur Pharmacist
Well, that ends that story. Mitch Mustain: Signing Day to Signing Day.

Hokeriguez
Rich Rodriguez took part in an interview of new Michigan coach Brady Hoke. I couldn’t have been the only one to hear the Curb your Enthusiasm theme in the back of my head while watching this, right?

*****
Follow me on Twitter at @Dan_Rubenstein.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mila Kunis, who was NOT nominated for an Academy Award this morning. This is clearly the next best thing.

*****

• Utah State and San Jose State may or may not be joining the Mountain West. Game changer.

• Former USC RB Stafon Johnson is suing USC for being negligent at the time of his weightlifting neck/throat injury. In situations like these, nobody really wins. Oh, except the lawyers, they definitely do. Fight on!!

• SEC coaches oversign. We know this. SI.com’s Andy Staples isn’t a fan of the fake NCAA bylaw that fails to prevent this from continuing.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg reviews recruiting needs for both the Leaders and the Legends divisions of the Big 10, and yes, I hate myself already for casually writing “Legends” and “Leaders.”

• A UConn donor hates the Huskies’ athletic director and wants his millions back. I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that.

• SI.com’s Andrew Perloff drops a good ol’ fashioned mock draft. Blaine Gabbert is #1 on his board (and Cam Newton 10th), which means “only ran out of the shotgun” is officially dead as a fake QB criticism.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, in honor of the ongoing Australian Open, a collection of unfortunate racquet and net bloopers. Nobody’s balls are safe.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSgUnKh4QPk

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by University of Arizona graduate Garry Shandling because I just remembered how much I love The Larry Sanders Show, and to a lesser extent The Mike Stoops Show. ANGER!!!

*****

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers list the top 10 moments from their respective conferences. It’s a collection of moments that made me sit back and think, “Hey I remember when I thought that moment mattered.”

• Auburn WR Darvin Adams is skipping his senior season to go to the NFL. You may remember him best as somebody you hadn’t heard of until Cam Newton started throwing the ball to him.

• Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden threw for a bajillion yards and did so with a ruptured tendon in his thumb. Which is almost as impressive as Texas QB Garrett Gilbert playing the entire year with only Texas players around him.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel runs down who has and who will be without returning, experienced talent. If I’m to infer correctly, UCLA is worse off for having Rick Neuheisel return.

• With National Signing Day approaching, Rivals looks back at their 2010 five-star class.

• A guy built a brick by brick replica of Ohio State’s Horseshoe out of Legos. Impressive, but you should see his fully-functioning Lego girlfriend.

• CBS Sports’s Bryan Fischer has a new recruiting blog on the site, “Eye on Recruiting.” It’s a good way to stay up to date without feeling your creepiest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best possible alternative to 3D — complete loss over the use of one’s eyelids. Hurray!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uef17zOCDb8

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan re-examine the Michigan coaching situation, as well as delve into the world of early draft entries and unruly players. Plus, voice messages and an overflowing e-mail inbox.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by January Jones and the Golden Globes. And her appearance at some awards show last night.

*****

• LSU coach Les Miles turned downed Michigan for the second time and leveraged the interest to no raise and a smaller buyout. I stopped trying to understand all things LSU a long time ago.

• Former Iowa RB Adam Robinson apologized for his marijuana possession charges and wants back on the team. If all works out, I have the PERFECT house for him to rent.

• TCU OC Justin Puente is going to interview to fill the same position at LSU.

• … and so will former Louisville and Tulsa coach Steve Kragthorpe.

• Florida hired former 49er great Bryant Young to be a co-defensive line coach. He has almost no coaching experience, which almost always means coach Will Muschamp thinks he can recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit.

• Houston QB Case Keenum was granted a 13th year of eligibility.

• Tulsa named assistant Bill Blankenship their new head coach. Ok then.

• Tennessee RB David Oku is transferring. Ugh, an overrated 5-star RB leaving Tennessee after underachieving is sooooooooo 2010.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall laments Auburn’s post-Newton situation and ends up talking about chest hair.

• Georgia DE/OLB Justin Houston is skipping his senior year to play in the NFL. This comes after a number of Georgia players skipped various years in 2010.

• Is it too early to look at mock drafts? Probably, but here’s one from The Football Expert (aka the site of East Bay Greg, aka The Crown Prince of Backhanded Compliments).

• Auburn fans took pictures at Wal-Mart with stacks and stacks of Dr. Pepper cases. Oh, and what is probably a replica of the BCS national championship trophy. This makes me feel a little better, actually.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Ricky Gervais’s monologue from last night’s Golden Globes. It was so good, he’s already been asked not to return next year.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvHXzP2SpLA

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the Iron Sheik, who, until proven otherwise by Nick Fairley, will always be Earth’s #1 suplex artist.

*****

• Auburn QB Cam Newton is entering the draft, because that’s what mercenaries do — four uniforms in four years.

• Michigan QB Denard Robinson is returning to Michigan after considering his post-Hoke hire options. Smart.

• Stanford hired their OC/RB coach David Shaw to take over as head coach. Looks like they ignored my letters begging for Walt Harris to get a second chance.

• UConn hired longtime Syracuse coach Paul Pasqualoni to be their next head coach. There are riots in the streets of North Nobodycaresville.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg spoke to new Michigan coach Brady Hoke.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have all-bowl teams. The big takeaway I had was learning that Tulsa has a LB named Curnelius Arnick.

• Kentucky WR (and Hildenbrandt favorite) Randall Cobb is entering the NFL Draft. RIP Wild Cobb.

• ESPN’s Joe Schad is reporting that Auburn DT Nick Fairley is declaring for the NFL Draft. Expect an on-stage Goodell suplex.

• According to his father, Michigan QB Tate Forcier (possibly) wants to stay in Ann Arbor.

• Dear degenerate gamblers, 2011 national champion odds are out.

• A handy list from SI.com of all the early draft entries (so far). Hm, they seemed to have missed Cal QB Brock Mansion…

• The Wiz has your bowl ratings superguide.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a commercial for Google’s science fair. There’s also French singing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7oJfK4E7RY

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan recap their experience at the BCS National Championship and discuss other news, but, most of all, talk about their Tom Rinaldi parody video, which went viral and landed on ESPNews within 24 hours of being released.

Ty and Dan are joined by West Coast Kevin and preview the BCS Championship while hunkered down in a secluded corner of the media hotel in Arizona.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Orange Bowl color analyst Jon Gruden. THIS GUY was a backup QB for Dayton in the early 80s.

*****

• Stanford shellacked Virginia Tech last night in the Orange Bowl. QB Andrew Luck was accurate, the line opened up gigantic running lanes, and coach Jim Harbaugh ducked questions about his future and asked that reporters please RESPECT THE PROCESS.

The Detroit Free Press is reporting Harbaugh’s future will come down to Stanford and the NFL — no Michigan plans.

And Michigan should be deciding on coach Rich Rodriguez’s fate shortly. Dun dun DUNNNNN.

In pro-Virginia Tech news, QB Tyrod Taylor did this.

• The Sugar Bowl is tonight. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has keys for Ohio State and ESPN’s Chris Low has keys for Arkansas. The rest of their coverage can be found here.

• Iowa RB Adam Robinson has been dismissed by Iowa. This comes after (wait for it…) he was arrested on marijuana possession charges. Who knows what kind of societal dangers he could’ve presented on MARIJUANA!!*

*Of course I have no idea if this is specifically why he was kicked off the team, he could also have been an awful human to everybody around him.

• LSU RB Stevan Ridley has been academically cleared to play in Friday’s Cotton Bowl. LSU‘s offense is expected to remain free of any direction or identity.

• MIssouri QB Blaine Gabbert declared for the NFL Draft. Makes sense. Indiana’s Tandon Doss, also declared. Less sense.

• The Big 10 was swept on Saturday. This video probably doesn’t make it any easier, midwesterners.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin is boring and “unemotional.” And?

• If you believe outstanding MS Paint comics, Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops may have sent his rival’s best coach to Florida.

• Former BYU OC Robert Anae will now run the offense for Mike Stoops at Arizona. I assume loudly.

• Pitt has to hire a coach. And, uh, soon.

• UCLA LB Akeem Ayers has declared for the NFL Draft. He’s the one that somehow did this.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart looks at how Oregon and Auburn may react to not playing for five weeks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features Top Gear launching a Mini Cooper over a ski jump. Of course it is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEebpG6P0SY

Enjoy your Tuesday + Sugar Bowl!

Ty and Dan discuss coaching moves at Maryland, Pittsburgh and (potentially) Michigan and haphazardly offer grades for various bowl teams.  Plus, previews for the remaining seven games, including the BCS Championship.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by high-school dropout and possible rules-violating Iowa booster Demi Moore, who is probably glad she learned Marcus Coker’s name just before last night’s Insight Bowl.

*****

• Iowa, led by RB Marcus Coker‘s huge game, flatted Missouri 27-24 in the Insight Bowl. The new goal in Iowa City is now preventing Coker’s name from ever ending up in the same sentence as “drug house” or “violating the team’s substance policy.”

• NC State gradually got by West Virginia 23-7 in a Champs Sports Bowl nearly devoid of sound offensive gameplanning or execution.

• The CEO of the Sugar Bowl lobbied for the suspended Ohio State players to play in his bowl to protect “the integrity” of his game. Ohio State is expected to release a statement after the Sugar Bowl kicks them out of bed and gives them cab fare.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is either moderately interested in the Maryland job or wants Zuckerburg money to be an offensive coordinator at Auburn.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have information aplenty for today’s games:

Military Bowl — Preview … Keys

Texas Bowl — Preview … Keys

Alamo Bowl — Both

• Miami QB Jacory Harris will probably start against Notre Dame in the Sun Bowl. Now we can all exhale.

• Former Florida coach Urban Meyer is “seriously considering” an analyst’s role at ESPN. How will everyone in his family get in a word when there’s only so much airtime to go around?

• Mississippi State QB Chris Relf will wear the number of late teammate Nick Bell in the Gator Bowl.

• West Virginia RB Shawne Altson signed into Facebook at halftime of yesterday’s Champs Sports Bowl. OMG LOLZ.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best scenes from Pixar movies cut together. Makes you wish you were a computer-generated underdog.

Enjoy your Wednesday + Military Bowl + Texas Bowl + Alamo Bowl!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alumnus Sean Astin, aka Rudy, aka the guy from Encino Man, aka a hobbit of some sort. I imagine even Rudy isn’t thrilled with Rick Neuheisel’s wily offseason panic-fest.

*****

• Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen was named ACC Coach of the year a few weeks ago. The reward for his efforts? A nice cool can of Take the Buyout, You’re Fired.

He has yet to take a sip.

• Oh and Mike Leach will be the Terps’ next coach. Or he won’t. Either way.

• Three bowls happened. Yahoo!!!!! has the specifics.

• Troy‘s punter looks a bit different. Or the same if you’re a punter who could also be a bouncer and/or paper towel spokesmodel.

• It now appears that Tennessee DC Justin WIlcox is the favorite to replace Will Muschamp as Texas’s defensive coordinator. Big wristband to fill.

Enjoy the Texas coaching search in MS Paint. (via EDSBS)

• New Miami coach Al Golden is retaining some of former coach Randy Shannon’s assistants.

• UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel doesn’t even know the meaning of retaining. Ok, he probably does, but he also knows the meaning of “scapegoat” and “turd-polishing.”

• Oklahoma RB Roy Finch will miss the Fiesta Bowl with a stress fracture in his foot. The injury that RB DeMarco Murrary will suffer is still to be determined.

• Iowa DC Norm Parker, who missed a good part of the year due to some health issues (including having his foot amputated) will be back next season. Big time.

• Touted prep QB and one time Miami commit Teddy Bridgewater (all-name lock) will be taking his talents to Louisville.

• Auburn will definitely win the national championship. Just ask a local sporting goods stores.

• BYU killed UTEP. And one Cougar assistant brought a winning attitude to his nose.

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Today’s Video of the Day is a victory for large men everywhere. Ohmigod he’s gonna go!!