Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Methodist Ladies College attendee Isla Fisher. She was also perdy on Bored to Death this week.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy thinks Penn State could have a hard time finding an enthusiastic bowl invite.

• CBS’s Bruce Feldman ranks the country’s top ten freshmen.

• Urban Meyer wants no part of the Arizona job.

• Arkansas WR/PR Joe Adams is eternally trolling on special teams.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller takes a closer look at new Washington State QB Connor Halliday.

• Butch Davis had no idea that former assistant John Blake was chummy with an agent. Mmhmm.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has power rankings in which he compares his top 25 teams to early MTV videos. It’s just too bad he couldn’t squeeze Texas in for the RATT track. Oh well.

• A little late (on my part), but The Wiz has Week 11 snapshots.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday has a Best of Times/Worst of Times update. Guess where Maryland ended up?

• Yahoo!!!!!! also has a Week 12 viewer’s guide. Convenient.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the reel of an acrobatic stuntman. Conservatively, I don’t think I could execute any more than 30% of what he does here.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQgFxDSqft4

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan rehash college football’s eighth week and discuss Kirk Cousins’ Hail Mary, James Franklin’s casual dress Saturday, Clemson’s chances of going unbeaten, and Nick Foles… in a winning effort!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Alison Brie, proud California Institute of the Arts graduate, and, for my money, one of the better ways to begin a weekend.

*****

• CBS‘s Brett McMurphy and Bruce Feldman have week 8 picks.

• Things got interesting before last night’s UCLA/Arizona halftime in a fake ref/streaking/brawl kind of way.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly makes you smarter every time. Take advantage.

• Free Connolly USC/ND preview. Just that easy.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg talks to Nebraska LB Lavonte David.

• ESPN‘s bloggers debate USC vs Notre Dame. When two unranked rivals meet, YOU THROW THE RECORDS OUT.

• Ditto for Stanford/Washington.

• ESPN‘s bloggers tell you what to watch, and that’s final.

• SI.com has a midseason All-American team (and Miami RB Lamar Miller).

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday takes an unbeaten snapshot.

• The fine Doc Sat folk also have the good, bad, and the ugliness.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a Euro/crazy mouth version of Led Zeppelin. Ker-azy.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxcCC2g1Ke0

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Whenever it is that I get my own TV network, ordering episodes of Playwatch, a show that exclusively features college football coaches running in slow motion for uncomfortable periods of time, will be job one. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Ty and Dan make their Week 6 Picks, talk about Missouri’s potential move to the SEC, discuss Michigan’s defense, and debate whether Clemson is 2010 Auburn in disguise.

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Ty Hildenbrandt and Dan Rubenstein take a closer look at impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, poke fun at Texas A&M’s pass defense, and devise a diabolical scheme to fix South Carolina’s quarterback problem. Plus, another batch of listener Reverbs and another tale of Nick Foles’ performance… in a losing effort, of course.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Goddard College graduate William H. Macy. I miss Fargo. I think I’m going to go watch Fargo. 

*****

• Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops got PAID.

• Stanford LB Shayne Skov is out for the season after tearing his ACL vs Arizona Saturday. Sad mohawk.

• UCLA will start Richard Brehaut vs Oregon State. Apparently, despite warnings from concerned fans everywhere, this game will still happen.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel thinks it’s time for Notre Dame to go conference HAM on college football.

• The Sugar Bowl has been a-bribin’.

• South Carolina received a notice of allegations outlining alleged illegal player benefits.

• ESPN‘s bloggers reminisce about the weekend that was. Again, probably the best Road Test Weekend EVER.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly aligns conference pods and draws comparisons to politicians. It’s all too much for me to handle at once.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a simple remix of movies to include Tom Selleck’s mustache. I’m fine with this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxhqVrbixZc

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Macalester College (go Scots!) alum and Friday Night Lights co-creator Peter Berg. Here’s to hoping he goes home with some hardware Sunday night.

*****

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is still in the hospital. Here’s to hoping he comes out soon and does so bigger, stronger, faster, etc. KILL!

• Mississippi State hosts LSU tonight. SB Nation’s Bill Connelly seeks to make you wiser about the whole affair.

• SI.com’s Maggie Gray talks to Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher ahead of Saturday night’s Oklahoma game.

• Bob and Mark Stoops meet up again Saturday night. CBS’s Brett McMurphy gets all up in the brotherhood.

• Arizona WR Juron Criner is questionable vs Stanford, due to a complete lack of an appendix.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles walk-on Oklahoma starting RB Dominique Whaley. Walk-on power! (©Andy Staples)

• Big Daddy’s excited for Saturday’s Nebraska game.

• ESPN‘s bloggers will tell you what to watch this weekend AND YOU WILL LIKE IT. Now finish your vegetables.

• Predictions are also available, should you choose to accept.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel answers your questions in text form.

• Ohio State is down an edge rusher (their really good one).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best taxidermy commercial you’ll see all morning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJP1DphOWPs

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan roll through the news of the week, Verballer voice and e-mail messages, their picks for Week 3, and present the best Jesse Palmer impression of all-time, courtesy of West Coast Kevin.  Editor’s note: Look for a special Oklahoma-Florida State preview show tomorrow.

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan talk about Texas A&M’s move to the SEC, Mark Richt’s hot seat, poor sportsmanship, and all the important action ahead in the second week of the season.

Ty and Dan talk with Ted Miller from ESPN.com about the newly-expanded Pac-12, the immediate impact of Utah and Colorado, USC’s defense, Arizona State’s role as frontrunner, Stanford without Jim Harbaugh, and Oregon’s chances of repeating.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by San Francisco State Dana Carvey, whose “Critic’s Choice” standup special still holds up. Also, read an oral history of his old variety show. And chop some broccoli.

*****

• OU OLB Travis Lewis will miss eight weeks after breaking his toe. He’s expected to tackle everyone in the hospital. Twice.

• You’ll start rooting for Tulsa QB G.J. Kinne in 3..2..1…

• A limited James Rodgers is practicing for Oregon State. Scary.

• More details about the arrest of Texas S Christian Scott have come out. Not good.

• More Dr Saturday SEC Week lurve. Jump on it.

• Rivals has a Texas A&M preview in which they appear to be just as confused about the Aggie possibilities as we all are.

• EDSBS contributor Anonymous IV at Mono Lake has a new system of college football taxonomy. Have fun with this.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders if Arkansas can be the next Auburn. I’ll do you one better and tell you if they are with absolute certainty in mid-December.

• ESPN quickly runs down conference Heisman candidates and Nick Foleses.

• ESPN‘s bloggers give out QB superlatives. FINALLY, some attention for QBs on ESPN.

• Previewing LSU might be what sends SB Nation’s Bill Connelly completely over the edge.

• Ole Miss is going to slowly flatten all of their best footballs.

• Virginia has one enormous player and many smaller ones who will hit you with flags.

• Minnesota coach Jerry Kill will make you clean a horse stall. He won’t think twice about it, either.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features Gabe, today’s bulldog of the day.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tcJws5xM8s

Enjoy your Wednesday. Get the look!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Daniel Tosh, UCF graduate, and possible Knight-Knight fan. Doing O’Leary proud!

*****

• Top HS QB prospect Jameis Winston picked Florida State yesterday, though he’s expected to also be taken high in next year’s baseball draft. Wouldn’t wish his problems on my worst enemy. (video)

• The Humanitarian Bowl is no more. The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl is, uh, more.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers has been cleared for (limited) practice, which is awful news for everybody in the Pac-12.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart has 2011′s top ten trap games. As always, Admiral Ackbar ghost wrote most of this.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has a thorough, fact-filled Auburn preview. RollsRoyce5 will immediate denounce all of it as being a sham and biased.

• ESPN’s David Ubben reflects on Big 12 media days. Guessing they weren’t served lobster like the lucky sumbitches in the Big East.

• An SEC media days lookback.

• Pac-12 ditto. B1G ditto.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new mailbag that completely ignores this season of Whale Wars, which I know Stew himself is not doing. Bring it out in the open, Mandel!

• Pre-Snap Read is counting down teams with extraordinary detail. Read it. Love it. Live it. Here’s Florida.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday continues Pac-12 week with Cal and defining games. (And no, Cal isn’t in today’s defining games post)

• Rivals has the nation’s best OL groups. Iowa is #5 despite last September’s Arizona game existing.

• Touted incoming Mizzou DE Sheldon Richardson is yet to be cleared by the NCAA. Or he has. Or he hasn’t. Or he has. Or he hasn’t.

• Illinois waterskis. Simple as that.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an explanation of hipsterdom, but by puppets. Of course.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbTI7eWaQbk

Enjoy your Thursday. Rock the shwag.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Duke graduate Retta, who drives (easily) the best car on Parks and Recreation. We forgive her for her Blue Devil-dom.

*****

• No Big 12 proprietary networks can broadcast high school games for a year. Hear that, Cyclone Network? Exactly.

• South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia is officially back. No party is safe.

• It’s been too long without an EDSBS Fulmer Cupdate. Now it’s been like three seconds.

• The Big 12 has enough receivers to rank the best ten. Garrett Gilbert has some ‘splaining to do.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa‘s Heisman campaign (including branded dumbbells!) starts now. Or when his shredded achilles fully heals, whichever comes first… and then it starts!!!!

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has a Clemson preview. I had big expectations for this one after starting out strong, but it faded pretty quickly.

• Media members ate well at Big East media day. Whew.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney profiles Louisville RB Victor Anderson, he of “What ever happened to Victor Anderson” fame.

• The most uncomfortable media day hundred seconds of your day now exist. I got through about 31 seconds.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr Saturday has begun Pac-12 week in the Grand Canyon State.

• Maryland‘s going to have new uniforms. Calling it now — camo turtle print.

• Smart Football has highlights, clips, and insights from Mike Leach’s “Swing your Sword.”

• Rivals ranks backfields. The top two are way out west where they don’t even know how to play REAL football.

• Rivals has a Michigan State preview, which features the dreamy Kirk Cousins. (SNAP OUT OF IT RUBENSTEIN)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is your introduction to Chief Shark Officer Andy Samberg. Backflip!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8zdCHp8P9Q

Enjoy your Tuesday. Commerce!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about the launch of his new site (OutkickTheCoverage.com) and his thoughts on a hodgepodge of SEC topics in the midst of Media Days.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Bryan Cranston, LA Valley College attendee and star of Breaking Bad, which I’m about to start (and probably be insufferable about).

*****

• ESPN’s Pat Forde asks: “Why can’t I write a column about pay-for-play?”

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy goes to Provo and profiles BYU and their independence. His hair appears to be short enough to be welcomed by the locals.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr Saturday projects CUSA, which is a lot easier to write than “Conference USA.” Consider that your introduction to “CUSA.”

• Miami coach Al Golden is getting a lot of “yes” on the recruiting trail.

• West Virginia apparently frowns on the whole armed robbery thing. Prudes.

• ESPN continues to look ahead to impact games, including ones in early December. I imagine these previews will hold up perfectly.

• “Michigan AD Dave Brandon Talks Branding.” OF COURSE HE DOES IT’S IN HIS NAME.

• ESPN previews Pac-12 DEs. It all comes down to the good, the bad, and the Arizona.

• Silas Redd is a running back for Penn State. That’s what I learned.

• The Big East has special teams. That have special teams.

• Who’re the best corners in the B1G? I don’t know, but if you take away that apostrophe in the first word of the question, it becomes funnier and less sensical.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews a Shaky-less Utah. Just isn’t the same anymore.

• Ohio State fans definitely aren’t crazy.

• Rivals previews Iowa. Y’heard it hear first: this is QB James Van Der Beek‘s time.

• South Carolina WR Bryce Sherman takes to the Twitter to announce that he’s GONE. Well, he’s staying, but gone from the team. Something like that.

• Oklahoma State will unveil new uniforms in a couple weeks that will include any number of combinations. Where have I heard this story before?

• South Carolina has new uniforms. I think.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Deadspin editor AJ Daulerio trying to replicate Dock Ellis’s acid-fueled no hitter. It’s a bit NSFW.

Enjoy your Wednesday. The store!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chicago State attendee Kanye West. “College Graduate” or “Ph.D Candidate” just doesn’t have the same ring for a huge hip-hop album, does it?

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd got probation in his DUI case. I wonder how he’s going to celebrate.

• New Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson talks about his commitment to the Badgers. It’s about 30% as exciting as you think it’ll be.

• Wisconsin getting QB Russell Wilson somehow affects Oregon State, because the Beavers you see, at one point, had a shot in Madison this year.

• Two Alabama players have been suspended and each of them has an awesome name.

• ESPN ranks Big East WRs. Rutgers apparently has the best corps, which of course makes no sense.

• UNC DE Quinton Coples should be good to go. Sorry, ACC.

• ESPN then ranks B1G OL, which, if memory serves, is all of them.

• Rivals is counting down all 120 teams. Get yourself knowledge’d up.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly is selling on Arizona. The troublesome detail of them replacing nearly all of their big people worries him/everyone.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi appears on the CBS College Football Podcast. We will bury you, CBS. (or link to your podcast with writers we like)

• Oklahoma CB Tony Jefferson really knows how to put things into perspective.

• LSU has received less attention for its dealings with Willie Lyles than Oregon has. LSUFreek explains why. Kind of.

(I hope I inspired this.)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the Mission Impossible 17 trailer. I just can’t quit you, Brad Bird.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0LQnQSrC-g

Enjoy your Wednesday. Dress yourself.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCLA alum Christine Lakin, who played on Al on ABC’s Step by Step. Wanna feel old? She’s 32 (but still has it!). (ahem, Christine: solidverbal@gmail.com)

*****

• The lawyer of Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor questions 90% of the SI story. I’m feeling even better about the article already.

• Similarly, lawsuits are being threatened over SI’s investigative piece. I have a feeling the follow up to this story will include the phrase, “never materialized.”

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen is now clear on the expectations the school and the state have no the whole “not getting tossed out of casinos” thing.

• Former Notre Dame and current Montana QB Nate Montana (get it?!?!) was arrested for suspected DUI. Not cool.

• Penn State OC Jay Paterno says athletes are already getting paid dozens of dollars an hour for the work they put in athletically. Of course, his math is all poorly constructed and he leaves out revenue figures for schools. Other than that, bang-up job, sir.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples argues that, while Steve Spurrier‘s plan won’t happen, it’s an important step towards a payment discussion.

• Maryland and Connecticut each had offensive footprints last season. Football Study Hall takes you inside the magic.

• Tim Tebow was on The Daily Show. Bloomin’ Onions were implied.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson answers some basic TCU/Big East questions. It’s all she can do to not say TCU is going to swallow up USF.

• Former Georgia RB Washaun Ealey has transferred to Jacksonville State. Gentlemen, get your moving violation ticket pads rrrreeeaadddyyyy!!!

• Will Ohio State‘s recruits hang around? Fox Sports’s Zac (no K, no H) Johnson further pontificates.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) tries to crack the SEC Lion King Twitter code. I’m so lost.

• Some quick thoughts on noisemakers on the SEC by EDSBS fanposter “RaginCajunRebel.” Remember to get sucked into the amazing comment vortex.

• Former Michigan QB Tate Forcier visited San Jose State. Come for the football, stay for the obscene burritos.

• Mel Kiper is totally down with high school 7on7 tournaments. Just so you know.

• Hot/Cold Yes/No UCF QB recruit DeMarcus Smith has chosen to stick with UCF. This is actually news.

• The purple and gray field at Central Arkansas is coming along just fine, thank you.

• Arizona needs snitches ASAP.

*****

Today’ s Video of the Day is Orson Welles sleepwalking through a commercial shoot. I could watch this forever and ever.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFevH5vP32s

Enjoy your Friday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Steve Zissou. I just saw The Life Aquatic again and it’s better than I rememberd, so I figured I’d honor it the only way I know how. I’d be perfectly fine with any school using Team Zissou as an alternative uniform template. Perfectly fine.

*****

• ESPN’s Chris Spielman would be surprised if Ohio State coach Jim Tressel was back at all this fall. I tend to believe people like Chris Spielman.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart has ten questions about the ACC. Apparently, Virginia and Wake Forest are the neglected stepchildren here.

• Florida RB Mike Blakely is transferring just a few months after arriving in Gainesville. SEC speed applies.

• Free agent QB Russell Wilson has “shown interest” in Wisconsin. Intriguing.

• Suspended Ohio State LB Dorian Bell, who was rumored to be transferring to Pitt, apparently will not be. Maybe. I think.

• Gus Johnson will be the voice of Pac-12 football for Fox. UNCONTROLLABLE EXCITEMENT!!!

• Now-former Missouri QB Tyler Gabbert has been in contact with several schools, including Arizona, Iowa, and Louisville. Exciting times indeed for backup QB enthusiasts.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall learned nothing and everything from spring football all at the same time.

• SI.com’s Ben Glicksman profiles new Pitt coach Todd Graham, who has switched the defense to what he’s calling a Nitro 3-4, which sounds a little too similar to a backstage orgy in the American Gladiators dressing room.

• Rivals previews Tennessee and speaks to coach Derek Dooley. Calling it right now — Tennessee finishes a top 5 SEC East team. BALLS!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is 8 year old banjo destruction.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3qbB4Kq3Y0

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Marlo Stanfield, whose name is his name. If any college football coach yelled that at the end of an angry press conference, I think I’d abandon all Oregon loyalty and shift my allegiance immediately.

*****

• Notre Dame reached its own conclusions in their internal report regarding the windy day and the death of a videographer, so you know it’s probably accurate.

• Three high school football players of varying recruiting importance were arrested for stealing iPods and iPhones from the Georgia locker room. I’m holding out hope for Steve Jobs including this little factoid in his next keynote.

• New Michigan DC Greg Mattison is having an early effect on his players. And judging by the picture used, so is Joe Biden.

• Arizona‘s looking to do the unthinkable and win after Halloween this year. They’re hoping Texas WR transfer Dan Buckner will help.

• Tennessee QB Tyler Bray goes on a cliché-a-thon. It really is 110% impressive.

• Iowa State coach Paul Rhoads is Q’d and offers up some A’s. SO PROUD.

• FoxSports has a summary of Oklahoma’s spring game. Sooner LB Travis Lewis knew I was going to write that.

• Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino gets the SmartFootball treatment. And by that, I mean his passing plays get broken down in an intelligent fashion.

• Track ‘em Tigers has an Auburn spring game report. Solid Verbal interview hero/Auburn OL John Sullen gets high marks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of moderately awesome amateur videos from March.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT94JaDfVwY

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community’s Yvette Nicole Brown, a proud Akron graduate who should be watching the Zips upset Notre Dame today. You laughed yesterday at my Morehead State reference and look what happened. Don’t doubt me! Or the Zips!

*****

• The NCAA upheld the suspensions of five Ohio State players for selling memorabilia, and then Buckeye coach Jim Tressel self-extended his own suspension to five gamesfor not disclosing knowledge. Who would’ve thunk it would’ve all happened during day one of the NCAA Tournament? Amazing!

Oh and the NCAA hasn’t ruled on Tressel yet so it’s all just PR at this point. Still amazing!

SI’s Andy Staples writes about this using more words than I’m willing to give you for free.

• FINALLY, somebody writes something about Florida’s spring.

• NBC Miami is reporting that up to six Miami players will be suspended for their home opener against Maryland. This story seems to agree with the earlier OT Seantrel Henderson rumor.

• GQ says LSU fans are the tenth worst in all of sports. The picture they chose to illustrate this, well, doesn’t.

• ESPN’s David Ubben bullet points what he saw in Columbia during Missouri’s spring practice. The word “Gabbert” is tossed around quite a bit, whatever that means.

• EDSBS has a condiment bracket. This has nothing to do with college football and everything to do with condiments. Oh and it’s mostly incorrect.

• An Auburn blog is outraged with an off-air Paul Finebaum speech in which he (hark!) seems very much pro-Alabama.

• Rivals Primers: Florida State and Arizona. All Some Stoopseseses must go!!

• Hey Nebraska players, don’t get fat. Thanks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is movie titles said aloud in movies. Jumanji!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V1sYNvKZt8

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Ted Miller from ESPN.com about the addition of Utah and Colorado to the Pac-12, the personality of Chip Kelly, a Locker-less Washington, and the hot seat in Westwood.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Washington graduate Anna Faris. She’s attractive, in a new movie that seems like it could be good, and is married to Andy Dwyer. Good enough for me.

*****

• Iowa released a statement reacting to Sports Illustrated’s story regarding the criminal histories of college football players. In conclusion, some Iowa players got drunk before they turned 21.

• Boise State did the same and noted that of the 16 reported offenses, “three have been dismissed, six were traffic related, five were alcohol related, one was for trespassing and one was for battery.” So it looks like the Broncos will press on in lieu of the horrors SI is reporting.

• Additionally, SI‘s story singled out Pitt as a program with players responsible for a number of crimes. And then the story of Pitt OL Fernando Diaz getting tased four times as he resisted arrest came out. Oops.

• After offseason review and the hiring of former NFL VP of Officiating Mike Pereira as a consultant, the Pac-12 has rid itself of 11 referees. Exciting.

• Arizona WR Bug Wright is no longer part of the team. He looked to be a crucial member of a squad expected to be ranked early and then fade late in 2011.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller wraps up the  Pac-12‘s performance at the NFL Scouting Combine. It’s mostly about large people.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett quickly profiles second year Louisville coach Charlie Strong. Lou-uh-vull.

• UConn is down some cash after winning the Big East and failing to convince its fans that the Fiesta Bowl is worth the hassle. Pretty airtight logic.

• A Cecil Newton audio recording has been released, though the term “audio” is open to interpretation.

• New NCAA president Mark Emmert is open to a playoff. This means nothing.

• Did Iowa‘s rhabdo outbreak scare off five-star OT Cyrus Kouandjio from signing with the Hawkeyes? No, it’d be the whole “living in Iowa” thing that did that.

• The new ESPN/Texas network has hired production executives. Adjust your day accordingly.

• Purdue has a new Nike uniform that looks a lot like a Purdue uniform.

• Want to know where Nebraska DE Cameron Meredith stands politically? Wonder no more.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a gut being hit by a pellets from an airsoft gun at 1280 frames per second. It’s transfixing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWQC9AFAr0

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Sterling Mallory Archer. I know not of his formal education, I just know that he gave me the line “…like the Pelé of anal” and that’s more than enough.

*****
• An arrest was made after it was confirmed that somebody had poisoned the soil at Toomer’s Corner, the historic section of oak trees on Auburn‘s campus. Harvey Updyke, an Alabama fan who confirmed his responsibility on the Paul Finebaum Show, was arrested yesterday and held on a charge of criminal mischief.

Leaving voicemails for an Auburn turfgrass management professor’s also didn’t help Updyke’s cause.

SI’s Andy Staples explains why all college football fans should be concerned.

Here’s a candid shot.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd looks at 25 things to watch this spring. I didn’t see NBC’s “Perfect Couples” listed anywhere here.

• Mark Cuban created an LLC to back up his plans to present an alternative to the current college football postseason. And now Oxford is involved, as in England Oxford.

• North Carolina fullback Devon Ramsay will be eligible to play in 2011 after playing only four games in 2010 before being suspended by the NCAA. Oh, and it appears he didn’t do anything wrong. Oops.

• ESPN’s bloggers have spring previews. I suspect the B1G Ten’s Adam Rittenberg may be getting paid by the bullet point.

B1G Ten — Legends and Leaders divisions.

Pac-12 — North and South divisions.

• The Big 12′s David Ubben looks at the conference’s QB situations.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett speaks with West Virginia coach-in-waiting Dana Holgersen. You want goofy offensive coordinator smiles? Oh I GOT goofy smiles.

• Former Rutgers QB Tom Savage will now be known as current Arizona QB Tom Savage. A special note for Mr. Savage: The guy with the steaming face is your coach.

• Illinois’s Ron Zook and Boise State’s Chris Petersen now have something in common — they both got raises yesterday. This is the end of their venn diagram.

• Oregon RB Dontae Williams is opting to transfer. Williams redshirted in 2010. Worry not, Duck fans, the backfield goes about five-deep at the moment. Such problems…

• The NCAA isn’t just investigating Cam Newton‘s Auburn recruitment, but also the recruitment of OL Greg Robinson and WR Travon Reed, both of Thibodaux, LA. Tick tock…

• SB Nation’s Ted Glover speaks with new Minnesota coach Jerry Kill. KILLLLLL!!!!

• 247 Sports/SI.com has handpicked the first 5-star recruits of the 2012 class. It includes an “Andrus,” a “Dorial,” and a “Gunner.” NICE.

• Arizona State‘s first “Sparky” is a pretty excellent human being.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Arthur.” Katy Perry’s husband is involved.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtTVquZ2TFk

Enjoy your Friday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by University of Arizona graduate Garry Shandling because I just remembered how much I love The Larry Sanders Show, and to a lesser extent The Mike Stoops Show. ANGER!!!

*****

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers list the top 10 moments from their respective conferences. It’s a collection of moments that made me sit back and think, “Hey I remember when I thought that moment mattered.”

• Auburn WR Darvin Adams is skipping his senior season to go to the NFL. You may remember him best as somebody you hadn’t heard of until Cam Newton started throwing the ball to him.

• Oklahoma State QB Brandon Weeden threw for a bajillion yards and did so with a ruptured tendon in his thumb. Which is almost as impressive as Texas QB Garrett Gilbert playing the entire year with only Texas players around him.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel runs down who has and who will be without returning, experienced talent. If I’m to infer correctly, UCLA is worse off for having Rick Neuheisel return.

• With National Signing Day approaching, Rivals looks back at their 2010 five-star class.

• A guy built a brick by brick replica of Ohio State’s Horseshoe out of Legos. Impressive, but you should see his fully-functioning Lego girlfriend.

• CBS Sports’s Bryan Fischer has a new recruiting blog on the site, “Eye on Recruiting.” It’s a good way to stay up to date without feeling your creepiest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best possible alternative to 3D — complete loss over the use of one’s eyelids. Hurray!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uef17zOCDb8

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Orange Bowl color analyst Jon Gruden. THIS GUY was a backup QB for Dayton in the early 80s.

*****

• Stanford shellacked Virginia Tech last night in the Orange Bowl. QB Andrew Luck was accurate, the line opened up gigantic running lanes, and coach Jim Harbaugh ducked questions about his future and asked that reporters please RESPECT THE PROCESS.

The Detroit Free Press is reporting Harbaugh’s future will come down to Stanford and the NFL — no Michigan plans.

And Michigan should be deciding on coach Rich Rodriguez’s fate shortly. Dun dun DUNNNNN.

In pro-Virginia Tech news, QB Tyrod Taylor did this.

• The Sugar Bowl is tonight. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has keys for Ohio State and ESPN’s Chris Low has keys for Arkansas. The rest of their coverage can be found here.

• Iowa RB Adam Robinson has been dismissed by Iowa. This comes after (wait for it…) he was arrested on marijuana possession charges. Who knows what kind of societal dangers he could’ve presented on MARIJUANA!!*

*Of course I have no idea if this is specifically why he was kicked off the team, he could also have been an awful human to everybody around him.

• LSU RB Stevan Ridley has been academically cleared to play in Friday’s Cotton Bowl. LSU‘s offense is expected to remain free of any direction or identity.

• MIssouri QB Blaine Gabbert declared for the NFL Draft. Makes sense. Indiana’s Tandon Doss, also declared. Less sense.

• The Big 10 was swept on Saturday. This video probably doesn’t make it any easier, midwesterners.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin is boring and “unemotional.” And?

• If you believe outstanding MS Paint comics, Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops may have sent his rival’s best coach to Florida.

• Former BYU OC Robert Anae will now run the offense for Mike Stoops at Arizona. I assume loudly.

• Pitt has to hire a coach. And, uh, soon.

• UCLA LB Akeem Ayers has declared for the NFL Draft. He’s the one that somehow did this.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart looks at how Oregon and Auburn may react to not playing for five weeks.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features Top Gear launching a Mini Cooper over a ski jump. Of course it is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEebpG6P0SY

Enjoy your Tuesday + Sugar Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Community’s Gillian Jacobs. She attended Juilliard, which has no football team. But if they did, I’m sure they’d be admirably in-step and still probably better than Arizona.

*****

• Maryland, in coach Ralph Friedgen‘s last game as the Terps’ coach, demolished ECU in the Military Bowl. Maryland RB Da’Rel Scott may still be running.

And star Maryland WR Torrey Smith is running to the NFL Draft.

• Baylor essentially played a home game in the Texas Bowl … and got ZOOK’d by Illinois 38-14. And the only thing I can think about is how bad Texas truly must be to have lost to this Baylor team in Austin.

• Oklahoma State WR Justin Blackmon just isn’t fair anymore. And after last night’s Alamo Bowl, Mike Stoops’s seat just isn’t chilly anymore.

Here’s Blackmon being left open, because, well, I don’t know why.

• The NCAA responded to criticisms that their discipline is doled out inconsistently by issuing a statement that amounted to, “Nuh-uh.”

• The five suspended Ohio State players have “pledged” to come back in 2011. If they didn’t, they would’ve had to (gasp!) miss playing in the Sugar Bowl.

• The Air Raid is dead in Lubbock. RIP.

• SmartFootball examines defensive adjustments to the spread. It’ll make you feel all smart and stuff.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers are it again with their newfangled keys and previews to today’s bowl games:

Pinstripe — Keys + Preview

Armed Forces — Keys … Preview

Music City — Keys … Preview

Holiday — Keys + Preview

• SI.com’s Andy Staples is already bored with the 2010 season and has moved on to previewing 2011. Just wait until we shock everyone and drop our 2014 preview. That’s what I thought.

• Is Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez long for Lincoln? I have no idea. And neither does anyone else.

• West Virginia QB Geno Smith led the Mountaineers to a season-ending top 25 ranking with a fractured foot. What did YOU do this fall? Pathetic.

• Now that he’s in a city where it’s socially acceptable to admit it, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly REALLY likes his new boots.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features an angry child, an innocent backpack, and a fragile window. Even if your math skills are sub-par, you should probably see where this is going.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNsXm99VT2Y

Enjoy your Thursday + Armed Forces + Pinstripe + Music City + Holiday bowls!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by high-school dropout and possible rules-violating Iowa booster Demi Moore, who is probably glad she learned Marcus Coker’s name just before last night’s Insight Bowl.

*****

• Iowa, led by RB Marcus Coker‘s huge game, flatted Missouri 27-24 in the Insight Bowl. The new goal in Iowa City is now preventing Coker’s name from ever ending up in the same sentence as “drug house” or “violating the team’s substance policy.”

• NC State gradually got by West Virginia 23-7 in a Champs Sports Bowl nearly devoid of sound offensive gameplanning or execution.

• The CEO of the Sugar Bowl lobbied for the suspended Ohio State players to play in his bowl to protect “the integrity” of his game. Ohio State is expected to release a statement after the Sugar Bowl kicks them out of bed and gives them cab fare.

• Auburn OC Gus Malzahn is either moderately interested in the Maryland job or wants Zuckerburg money to be an offensive coordinator at Auburn.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have information aplenty for today’s games:

Military Bowl — Preview … Keys

Texas Bowl — Preview … Keys

Alamo Bowl — Both

• Miami QB Jacory Harris will probably start against Notre Dame in the Sun Bowl. Now we can all exhale.

• Former Florida coach Urban Meyer is “seriously considering” an analyst’s role at ESPN. How will everyone in his family get in a word when there’s only so much airtime to go around?

• Mississippi State QB Chris Relf will wear the number of late teammate Nick Bell in the Gator Bowl.

• West Virginia RB Shawne Altson signed into Facebook at halftime of yesterday’s Champs Sports Bowl. OMG LOLZ.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the best scenes from Pixar movies cut together. Makes you wish you were a computer-generated underdog.

Enjoy your Wednesday + Military Bowl + Texas Bowl + Alamo Bowl!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Seth Galifianakis, brother of Zach and proud NC State graduate. Go Wolfpack!

*****

• Air Force beat Georgia Tech in the Triple Option Bowl in a game that can best be described as “14-7.” If anything, it was a victory for football purists — those who still aren’t fully on board with newfangled ideas like “the forward pass.”

Even Air Force‘s falcon briefly left the action in Shreveport.

• Sue Paterno, wife of Penn State coach Joe, is fighting back against rumors that her husband is in poor health and retiring in a week.

• Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor will not, no matter his future plans, play in the Bucks’ first five games. A current high school senior probably will.

• North Carolina RB Anthony Elzy won’t play in the Music City Bowl because of “failing to meet his obligations as a student athlete.” Great, now the Music City Bowl means NOTHING.

• Four Florida players will miss the Gator Bowl after undergoing various surgeries. I’m calling it now — Muschamp-sponsored bionic limb introductions. Scandal!

• ESPN‘s bloggers are hard at work doing what they always do:

Insight Bowl — Keys … Preview

Champs Sports — Keys … Preview

• Texas Tech WR Adam James was upset about playing time under former coach Mike Leach. Things are WAY better now.

• Arizona had some famous former Wildcats call up the Alamo Bowl and talk up their school. Oh and they were all basketball players. Bowls!!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a random video of Craig Ferguson singing and dancing with a guy in a tuxedo, three bikini girls, a robot skeleton, and an S&M dude. Why not?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwkK5-ibYcw

Enjoy your Tuesday + Champs Sports Bowl + Insight Bowl!

Ty and Dan review a handful of conference championship games and dissect a bunch of projected bowl pairings.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Bucknell student Kevin Bacon. He seems like an intense guy — no way is he happy about the 1-11 season the Bison suffered through, BUT they did lose to Lafayette, so naturally, I’m fine with it.

*****

• Arizona kicker Alex Zendejas had two extra points blocked by Arizona State DE James Brooks — one to win it in regulation and one to tie it in double OT. The Wildcats lost and Mike Stoops‘s head is still yet to be recovered.

• Chip Brown of OrangeBloods.com is saying Texas OC Greg Davis will “be replaced.” The nation awaits with bated breath for a new coordinator to find new ways for QB Garrett Gilbert to throw passes into triple coverage.

• NCAA president Mark Emmert defends the Cam Newton decision. It would’ve been much easier if Emmert simply asked, “Hey, what’s that behind you?” and then took off.

• Jim Delaney and Larry Scott, commissioners of the Big 10 and Pac 10, respectively, aren’t thrilled with the Cam Newton ruling. Cam Newton, meanwhile, may be pleased with the ruling, but I assume he’s too busy studying a soon-to-be-vacated gameplan.

• Though he injured his knee against Oklahoma State, Oklahoma RB DeMarco Murray will play tomorrow against Nebraska.

• Whichever team loses the ACC championship game will play in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. So there’s that.

• Syracuse will be playing in the Pinstripe Bowl at Yankee Stadium. Derek Jeter is expected to attend … to the needs of Minka Kelly on some tropical island somewhere.

• Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez played some Josh Groban for the departing seniors at the team banquet last night while pleading for his job. Yep.

• Former Colorado coach Dan Hawkins got a couple mil’ for his troubles (to not coach the Buffs). That’ll do.

• Jon Embree, former Colorado player/coach and current Washington Redskins tight ends coach, has been offered the Colorado head coaching job. Unless he hasn’t been. But he probably has been.

• New Mexico coach Mike Locksley will, due to the always-inspirational situation of his bosses not wanting to buy him out, be back next year.

• Oregon State will be wearing throwback uniforms tomorrow that are, well, kinda awesome.

• SI.com’s George Schroeder (SVBFF) profiles Oregon QB Darron Thomas. What? Like I wasn’t going to link this?

• The Wiz flips through the notebooks of reporters across the country.

• The latest lines for this week’s games. What’s a guy gotta do to lay some paper on Bethune Cookman?

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is of Kevin Bacon’s biggest fan, Kevin Bacon. Hey, sometimes you just gotta cut loose.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyQb192-CPQ

Enjoy your Friday + (your last) College Football Saturday.

Ty and Dan take a look at the NCAA’s ruling on Cam Newton, TCU’s move to the Big East, E. Gordon Gee’s stupid comments, and the Miami coaching vacancy.  Plus, Verballer voice messages, e-mails and locks of the week.

Ty and Dan break down a wild weekend that saw a monster upset by Nevada, a triumphant victory for Auburn, and a defining loss for Rich Rodriguez against Ohio State.  Plus, wackiness in the Big 12, closure in the ACC, and a host of listener Reverbs.

Ty and Dan deliver a super-sized episode, chock full of analysis for all the week’s biggest rivalries, listener e-mails and voice messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Billings, MT Mayor Tom Hanel. I needlessly insulted his fine town (below) and am thus making it up to him and his town here. Tom is the one with the mustache.

*****

• Ohio State president E. Gordon Gee doesn’t like Boise State or TCU and doesn’t think there should ever be a system to put them on equal footing, mostly because he thinks their schedules are undeserving. And as SI.com’s Andy Staples notes, Ohio State should be congratulated on their 59th ranked schedule, a whopping NINE spots ahead of Boise’s 68th.

• Former Ohio State LB Chris Spielman is shocked at how bad Michigan’s defense truly is, but likes QB Denard Robinson a lot. I think the combination of these two thoughts works out to a compliment.

• Colorado apparently thinks LSU Coach Les Miles is worth pursuing. Kind of sad when the fake long-shot rumor you’re floating to make yourself sound important involves Les Miles. I take that back — there’s nothing “kind of” about it.

• Nebraska DC Carl Pelini is sorry now, too.

• Who argues and makes a bigger spectacle of himself — Bob or Mike Stoops? The Wall Street Journal took the time to find out. It’s pretty close, but Mike’s facial-redness factor has really taken him to new heights.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell us what to watch and make some predictions. Here’s a guarantee: I predict there will be massive intestinally-driven DVR pausing across the country on Friday. Take that as you will.

• Here is this week’s regional ESPN/ABC map, so you can see what games are where. Residents of Billings, Montana — screwed again. The first time of course was simply having to be in BIllings, Montana. Actually, I take that back, it’s probably awesome in Montana. Now I feel bad. Here’s looking at you, Billings!

• GOOD NEWS: Eric LeGrand, the paralyzed Rutgers player, is breathing on his own and is not as paralyzed as he previously had been. Great things.

This news is essentially the opposite of any headline involving E. Gordon Gee.

• Clemson RB Andre Ellington is a game-time decision against South Carolina.

• Former Oregon coach and current ESPN broadcaster Mike Bellotti talks punt-blocking. PASSION!

• Penn State coach Joe Paterno will be back next year. Hey, Lavar Arrington isn’t going to coach himself.

• Georgia QB Aaron Murray says he’s pain-free (knee, sternum) and will be good to go against Georgia Tech Saturday night. The game plan remains unchanged — throw it up to #8.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart interviews TCU coach Gary Patterson. Patterson gives his Fort Worth food and bar recommendations. Ok, he doesn’t, but we need them, Verballers. Where you at?

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley plays in a completely fair and just way. Just ask his teammates.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter, fresh off his 4th strike suspension, should be reinstated for the Notre Dame game. Whew.

• USC QB Matt Barkley hasn’t been practicing, but hopes to play against Notre Dame. He’s already started locking onto his receivers a few days ahead of kickoff, so things seem promising.

• The New York Times is all up in Cecil Newton’s church business grill.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is SNL’s Jay Pharoah (not Natalie Portman) on Letterman. I think I’ve already posted a video of him, but good impressions are really hard to do and he’s going STRONG with Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, and President Obama.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQ4CoxiGrY

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by legendary horse trainer and Arizona graduate (Major: Race Track Industry!) Bob Baffert, though I have no idea if he follows college football and has a horse in the race when it comes to Friday’s game at Oregon. You see what I did there? Comedy.

*****

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini apologized for his behavior and confirmed Taylor Martinez’s continued presence on the Huskers. He reiterated, “NBgHJ RN3GL JDaF K77GN&#*@3&* %&#$@(adf*#@!!”

• An Indiana prosecutor is investigating a sexual assault claim against a Notre Dame football player by a woman who died in early September in an apparent suicide.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James left the Cal game with an apparent leg injury and appeared on crutches in a walking boot post-game. He apparently practiced full-go yesterday and should be fine against Arizona on Friday. Upon hearing the news, Cal DT Aaron Tipoti instinctively fell to the ground.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck, Boise State’s Kellen Moore, and Auburn’s Cam Newton are your Davey O’Brien Award finalists. All well and good, but who’s up for this year’s Ken O’Brien? Oh, it appears to be only Garrett Gilbert.

• Speaking of which, Wisconsin RB John Clay, despite managing only 42 rushing yards (due to injury) in November, is a Doak Walker Award finalist. CBS Sports’s Adam Jacoby (correctly) takes issue.

• EDSBS’s Doug Gillett prefers to disagree with you regarding the biggest college football rivalries.

• ESPN’s Gameday will be in Stillwater for Saturday’s Bedlam game, forgoing the excellent idea to have Lt. Jim Dangle be the celebrity picker at Boise State/Nevada on Friday.

• The LA Times’ TJ Simers says it’s not looking good for UCLA OC Norm Chow. But Rick Neuheisel is doing a bang-up job!!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett compares Pitt RB Dion Lewis to West Virginia RB Noel Devine, two backs who have fallen in line with the Big East’s library-quiet presence this season.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris, the Eagles’ one offensive bright spot, could be out 3-6 weeks with torn meniscus. Plug in Kuechly!!

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rewind and fast forward. Because they’ve done so every week and it’s why they get paid Cecil Newton money.

• Want to see this week’s most famous golf cart? Of course you kind of do! (Impressive upholstery)

• Arizona will be down a receiver (suspension) for Friday’s Oregon game. And so will Oregon (injury). Both rock solid names, though.

• Oregon‘s building a new HQ for its football program. It’s expected to be inexpensive, modest, and devoid of any flash. Ahem.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) goes A through Y, and then just for kicks, goes to Z in this week’s Alphabetical. I enjoyed you best, Yale.

• Similarly, SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) tackles some schadenfraude.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney casts an updated Heisman vote because … actually, I really have no idea why.

• This week’s college football lines. Las Vegans (word?) seem to like the Crimson Tide of Alabama.

• This week’s screengrabs of the week (via The Wiz).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is almost guaranteed to make you a vegetarian (if yesterday’s didn’t) or some sort of bloodthirsty maniac. It’s essentially every kind of edible animal combined to form a delicious super-meal called TurBaconEpic. With extra bacon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xc5wIpUenQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan talk about LSU’s close call, Nebraska’s dud, a potential Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl, and the ongoing Dillon Baxter Experiment at USC.

Ty & Dan discuss the latest in the Cam Newton pay-for-play situation and the need to renovate Husky Stadium, and break down all the Week 12 action.

Ty and Dan go through all the Week 11 action and break down Oregon’s close win on the road against Cal.

Ty and Dan analyze the latest on the Cam Newton situation in light of recent comments by purported associate Kenny Rogers.  Plus, e-mails, voice messages and Week 11 picks.

Ty and Dan discuss a crazy week of high-scoring action and a very important statement win by TCU.  Plus, Reverbs and poking more fun at Ty’s locks.

Ty and Dan discuss the breaking news about Cam Newton’s recruitment, play voice messages, read e-mails and break down all the Week 10 action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Willie Nelson, former Baylor student. Does anybody dislike Willie Nelson? He may secretly be one of the most universally-liked people in America. And now his college football team is playing well. Actually, I don’t know if he follows football, but I like to think he does. Because I just flat out like the guy.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Utah’s recent success. I got kind of sick of reading about all the “Solid Verbal Bump” stuff with Whittingham, but other than that, it’s a good read.

• MGoBlog’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) reacts to the news that Michigan may escape the NCAA’s wrath. The next step is now escaping the wrath of average Big 10 offensive lines. One step at a time.

• South Florida beat Rutgers last night. And now you know.

• This week’s Baylor/Oklahoma State tilt means something for the first time in a long time. “Honest, mister!” says ESPN’s David Ubben.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers tell you what to watch and make Saturday predictions. I’ll tell you what not to watch, predict something. and I’ll do it all in one sentence. SNL will be painfully unfunny.

• Miami RB Damien Berry won’t play against Maryland because he’s “banged up.” That sentence took longer than usual to type, as even my fingers have sense how boring the ACC has become.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans is just kickin’ it with Mike Leach in Key West. Seems fun and possibly a bit terrifying.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) writes about TCU/Utah and the BCS.

• Alabama WR Julio Jones faces LSU CB Patrick Peterson on Saturday. And they’ll probably just neutralize each other during a 13-11 game. Yay.

• After missing a few weeks with a knee injury, Arizona QB Nick Foles will start for the Wildcats against Stanford on Saturday. His hair remains day to day.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Ellen DeGeneres scaring people. This falls under the never-not-funny-unless-it-happens-to-you category. We need to get Ty famous and on Ellen’s show.

Enjoy your Thursday.

Ty and Dan get together on Halloween and recap the Week 9 action, including solid road wins by Oregon and Auburn and tough road losses for Michigan State and Missouri.

Ty and Dan talk about Mizzou’s big win, the rise of Auburn, and Navy’s dismantling of Notre Dame. Plus, Verballers ReVerbs.

Ty and Dan make their picks for Week 8 and discuss the Pac-12 division decision, the new Rose Bowl sponsor, and the notion of taking an automatic weapon into a crowded stadium (instead of buying a ticket).  Plus, Verballer e-mails.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Marge Simpson, voiced by Julie Kavner, San Diego State alumnus. And if we’ve learned anything from The Simpsons, it’s that biased replay officiating WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

*****

• North Texas head coach Todd Dodge is out as the coach of the Mean Green. He was a decorated high school coach who made the rare move straight to a FBS head coaching job. This is why it’s rare.

• ESPN’s Ted MIller profiles new Arizona starting QB Matt Scott and then explains that Rick Neuheisel is still trying to figure out his own team, let alone their opponents. This isn’t going to end well.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) watches the Heisman Trophy from afar, like she’s in a college football Rockwell song.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has power rankings. Whenever I read this, I listen to Kanye West’s “Power” and pretend that Andy writes these in an effort to get back at his college girlfriend who dumped him at a Harvard bar.

And yes, I enjoyed “The Social Network.”

• The controversy over the replay officials in the now two week old BYU-San Diego State contest is still ongoing. The Mountain West has changed replay official rules and the Aztecs’ radio analyst seems rather displeased with the efforts of Cougar players to be not racist, horrible people.

• Tomorrow night’s contest between Oregon and UCLA will be the national ESPN game and it will be filmed in three dimensions. If you plan on attending the game, Oregon has politely requested that you don your finest lightning yellow evening wear.

• Alabama is getting a giant Australian dude.

• Wisconsin head coach Bret Bielema calls the Badgers’ brand of straight-ahead power football… “American football.” Fact: Anything out of the shotgun is for commies.

• ESPN LA’s Arash Markazi chronicles former USC WR Mike Williams‘s journey from top draft pick to productive NFL player. It seems there was a lot of napping and tater tot pizza in between.

• Are you a Nebraska fan? Do you need help dealing with your emotions post-loss? Do you refuse to eat soap? This call center may be for you.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is for video nerds. Apparently you can securely strap a small HD camera to yourself as you do extreme things. I’m still editing the footage shot on one of these from Verbacon. Wait until you see how it looked from an extreme first person POV what driving I-80 at speeds up to 76 MPH looked like, what zooming around a tailgate at 11 AM drinking Bud Light felt like, and what a stadium reacting to dump drops sounded like. Amazing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo3M6EB8kmk

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by wife of Howard Stern, bulldog enthusiast, and former Pitt student Beth Ostrosky. I’ll bet she’s much more excited about the new UGa than the prospects of Tino Sunseri winning a close game with his arm.

*****

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers may return next year or he may not. It’s mid-October, his knee is pointing in four and a half different directions, let’s relax a bit.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel inner monologues Ohio State’s claim to be #1 in his new mailbag. You can also listen to Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel on Stewart’s (competing) podcast. If Stewart wasn’t an all-around good dude, frequent guest, and VERBACON ATTENDEE, we’d totally bury his efforts at new media. We run this town.

Oh and here’s a book excerpt.

• Former Texas QB (most appropriately-named Texas QB ever?) Colt McCoy will get his #12 jersey retired by Texas. The way that offense is looking, it might not be a bad idea to also dip it in gold, bedazzle it with rare diamonds, and get it blessed by the most hard-to-reach Nepalese monks.

• This Saturday will mark the debut of Georgia’s new bulldog mascot, Uga VIII. His background is fairly quaint -- his registered name is “Big Bad Bruce,” he’s the great (x5) grandson of the original UGa, and he’s wanted on 17 outstanding warrants.

• ESPN’s team of CFB bloggers remind you what to watch and make some predictions. I bet you didn’t predict they’d also lead a Hammer dance flash mob, did you?

• Oregon State kicker Justin Kahut hates the crap out of Arizona Stadium. Fair enough.

• A couple is traveling to Lincoln, NE from Bangkok to go to the Nebraska/Texas game Saturday. As impressive as that is, don’t think I won’t complain if my flight from LA is delayed 34 minutes. Oh, and if you see them roaming around a tailgate, do give them beer or some sort of sustenance.

• Here is how SBNation bloggers feel the Top 25 should look. Lot of good explanation and defenses, but like always, numbers with taken to two decimal places always throw me off.

• Three Mountain West replay officials have been suspended for blowing a call (horrifically) during the BYU-San Diego State game last weekend. Seems people don’t like it that San Diego now has both a decent college football team AND San Diego.

Oh and the “technical advisor” in the replay booth is a BYU employee. I wasn’t too invested before, now I’ll be disappointed if TCU doesn’t win by at least 73 this weekend.

• USC WR Robert Woods may now be USC Slash Robert Woods, as the speedy receiver has been taking reps as a defensive back. In addition, if he really put his mind to it, he could also probably be athletic enough to challenge us in the Solid Verbal Combine. Probably.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is evidence of my last journey to Lincoln. If this weekend even approaches that day (short of the Huskers’ loss to USC), I may never leave. Nebras!!!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDE2LVqsK04

Enjoy your Thursday.

Ty and Dan preview all the Week Seven action on the eve of their first ever meeting in Nebraska for Verbacon 2010.

Ty and Dan review all the Week Six action and break down the losses by Alabama, Arizona and Michigan as well as the wins by LSU, Auburn and Oregon.  Plus, another rousing rendition of Saturday ReVerbs.

Ty and Dan delve into a few voice messages and some e-mails, and discuss their picks for Week Six.

Ty and Dan review all the Week Five action and talk about another fabulous performance by Denard Robinson.

Ty and Dan replay all the Week Four action, including impressive wins by SEC teams, letdown showings by the Big 12, and the dawning of a special new Big Ten tradition.

Ty and Dan make their picks for all the Week Four action and discuss Vegas as a possible location for a Pac-12 title game, suspicious BCS finances, and a host of Verballer messages.

Today’s Click Chorus is brought to you by Ed O’Neill, former Ohio U student. I’m guessing that he approves of both his school’s mascot taking out Ohio State’s Brutus, but also of watching TV wife Sofia Vergara on tomorrow night’s Modern Family premiere. God, I love Colombia.

*****

• Oregon State painted their field blue in preparation for Saturday’s game at Boise State. You’ll immediately be able to tell how comfortable Ryan Katz will be overthrowing his receivers in a new environment.

• Houston QB Case Keenum will have an uphill battle if he intends to apply for medical hardship waiver after the season. As will Georgia‘s defensive line, as “We’re not very strong” is not typically an accepted argument.

• Missouri DE Aldon Smith will miss at least a couple weeks with a broken fibula. We hear at Solid Verbal HQ would like to wish the dominant Smith a speedy recovery, mostly because of his awesome hair.

• A Michigan student will try out to be the Wolverines new kicker. Even if he’s good, he has about 38,000 practice hours to catch up on. (via The Wiz)

• Arizona printed a shirt commemorating a non-conference September victory against Iowa. Just….no.

• A cheesy radio host who broadcasts to Michigan/Indiana border towns tries to make the point that God hates it when coaches outsmart Notre Dame. And if the current sales numbers for radio are any indication, God kinda hates sports radio too. (via EDSBS)

• Solid Verbal BFF Chip Brown reports on OrangeBloods that Colorado may join the Pac Twen in 2011 after all. And Jeff Tedford’s all for the Buffs joining in October.

• Ohio‘s Bobcat tackled Ohio State’s Brutus on Saturday in what apparently was a premeditated attack. Because really, what else are you going to do in Athens, OH other than sit around and plan a mascot attack or hope that someday you end up with a TV wife like Sofia Vergara. (VIDEO)

Today’s Video of the Day is the Harvard Sailing Team sketch comedy group doing the best Mystic River video I’ve seen this month.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uhv3uXMriRk

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan talk about a wild evening slate of Week 3 games and dissect all the other action from Saturday.

Ty and Dan delve into the news of the week, their previews for the big games of Week 3, listener messages, more random thoughts about creepy owls, and an uncomfortable theory about To Catch A Predator.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Bob Dole, who attended the University of Arizona 60 years ago, and probably doesn’t even care that a bunch of no good kids are all wearing red for the Iowa game. Also, he has wang issues.

*****

• Florida WR/RB Chris Rainey was arrested for aggravated stalking last night in Gainesville. Man, I am THIS close to winning Florida Arrest Bingo -- all I need is Deonte Thompson to embezzle funds from a well-to-do heiress or Ahmad Black to be implicated in an international art theft ring, and I’m golden.

• Houston QB Case Keenum is day-to-day as he deals with “concussion-like” symptoms. If he plays this coming Saturday against UCLA, he’ll immediately be faced with a “slapfight-like defense.”

• A week two Heisman Trophy update, or unofficially, filler.

• There’s a radio show in the south that has a guy who does a Lou Holtz impression. And it’s perfect. (via EDSBS)

• Arizona fans plan to red-out Arizona Stadium Saturday for the WIldcats’ game against Iowa. In response, Nebraska fans have decided to red-out Memorial Stadium like 80 years ago.

Columnist Quick Hits:

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach comments on the superb talents of Denard Robinson. He even gushes that he’d be a top five scout team gunner in the SEC. Because the SEC roolz for realz, guys.

• ESPN’s Pat Forde thinks the key to Ohio State may just be Terrelle Pryor. Right when you think you have Pat Forde pinned down, he goes and shocks the world. Maverick.

• SI’s Stewart Mandel covers pretty much everything in College Football Overtime, including some appropriate Marcus Lattimore gushing. Like everyone else, I’ve been impressed by Lattimore, but let him play in the Mountain West against some real competition, and we’ll see how good he really is.

• SI’s Andy Staples has good things to say about Trent Richardson and his performance against Penn State. When these two disappear and are found to have run off to a Mediterranean villa together, don’t say you didn’t see the warning signs.

Today’s Video of the Day is a parrot humping a fully-grown male human. Just because.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T1vfsHYiKY

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan talk with ESPN’s Ted Miller about the impact of the NCAA’s penalties on USC, Oregon’s QB battle, Jake Locker’s prospects for 2010, and Nick Foles’ hairstyle.

Ty and Dan take a gander at the Pac-10, including USC’s prospects under Lane Kiffin, Oregon’s quarterback quandary, Stanford’s post-Gerhart era and Washington State’s, uh… yeah, we got nothing.  Plus, a lively batch of Verballer messages.

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Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan return from a brief respite to reflect upon the Mike Leach and Urban Meyer stories, as well as the bowl games that have already been played.  Plus, picks for the 18 games between now and next week’s podcast.

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Website: www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan delve into the warped world of duck fat with Spencer Hall from EDSBS.com and discuss Saturday’s huge SEC championship game, the problem with NFL scouts and the coaching search at Notre Dame.  Plus, Week 14 picks, e-mails, and yes, Dan Rubenstein hecklers on Nebraska radio.

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Ty and Dan dissect TCU’s big win from a number of angles, evaluate Cincinnati’s BCS ceiling, bow down to Toby Gerhart, and batten the hatches for another Notre Dame coaching search. Plus, commentary from Jerry Palm and East Bay Greg, as well as voice messages and results from pick ‘em and fantasy football.

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Ty and Dan kick it old school by flying solo with an extravaganza of voice messages, e-mails and week nine picks.  Plus, a quick game of “overrated/underrated”, more additions to pool of potential Solid Verbal host cities, and some secret news on the life and times of Dan Rubenstein.

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Throughout August, we will be counting down the top 25 teams (as listed here) going into the 2009 season.  Today, we travel to the metropolis of Corvallis, Oregon, which boasts the slogan “Business is Good Here”, calls itself a “bike-friendly city”, and is known as the “fifth smartest city in America” according to a recent study by Forbes magazine.  So, it’s got that going for it, which is nice.

First Impression

Dan Rubenstein hates beavers.  All of them.  Especially ones from Oregon State.  We don’t want PETA dishing out any DDOS attacks on SolidVerbal.com, but in the interest of full disclosure, we just had to put that on the table.

Now, with that in mind, nobody would hold it against you if you chose not to root for Oregon State’s college football team after its pyrotechnic 3-0 victory over Pitt in last year’s Sun Bowl.  (We’d totally understand — that game would’ve made Baby Jesus cry.)  However, there are reasons to be excited about Beaver football in 2009, mainly because of the dynamic duo of Jacquizz and James Rodgers.  Jacquizz led the team with 1,500 total yards from scrimmage; James was just as dangerous with 1,000 total yards; together their speed and versatility figures to cause many long nights for opposing defensive coordinators.  That, combined with the impressive way with which Oregon State rounded out its 2008 season, and there is reason to be optimistic.

The main question, though, is who will be in charge of getting the Rodgers brothers the ball.  Lyle Moevao led the Beavers last season in passing, but in recovering from shoulder surgery this spring, has given Sean Canfield the chance to steal his job.  Regardless, coach Mike Riley knows he needs more consistent quarterback play in ’09 if he hopes to survive the meat of his Pac-10 schedule.

Last Year

The Beavers pulled their season together quite nicely in 2008 after an extremely rough start with back-to-back losses to Stanford (of all teams) and Penn State.  But after a win against Hawaii and a bye week to figure itself out, Oregon State pulled the year’s biggest upset by taking down USC by a 27-21 score.  Despite a let-down loss to Utah the following week, the Beavers won their next six games before being blown out in the Civil War against Oregon.  And then there was that Sun Bowl victory, but we should probably just agree to delete that from memory.

People

It will be interesting to see how Mike Riley handles his quarterback situation.  Lyle Moevao led the team in passing in ’08; however, his 13 interceptions were troublesome and didn’t instill a whole lot of confidence.  Both Rodgers brothers return, but Riley has his work cut out for him on the left side of his offensive line, where his team figures to be particularly inexperienced, likely starting a redshirt freshman at tackle.  Defensively, Mark Banker has a bit of a project on his hands, especially coordinating a way to stop the pass, but listen for names such as Keaton Kristick and Stephen Paea.

This Year

Though the Beavers will be dealing with some inexperienced units, there is a distinct possibility they could start the year 6-0, setting up a showdown in the Coliseum with USC.  Portland State, UNLV, Cincinnati, Arizona, Arizona State and Stanford are all very winnable games.  But common logic leads you to believe that USC will be fired up and ready to avenge last season’s upset, and you should well expect a monstrous blowout at the hands of the Trojans on October 24th.

It doesn’t get any easier after USC, as the Beavs square off against a much-improved UCLA squad on Halloween, then on the road against Cal the following week.  Both will be difficult games, look for Oregon State to split.  The final regular season game (the Civil War) is anyone’s guess.

Conclusion

Oregon State has a knack for sneaking under the radar.  It usually does this by suffering a bad loss early in the season and then slowly creeping its way back into the discussion.  Arizona State, USC, Cal and Oregon feel like losses for the Beavers in 2009, and not surprisingly, all are road games.  Throw in a random home loss just for good measure.

Prediction

7-5

–Ty

Ty and Dan talk with Jon Wilner from the San Jose Mercury News about the troubles of the Pac-10′s television deal, the obstacles facing USC, and the ongoing Mike Stoops Experiment.  Plus, new features on SolidVerbal.com and tons of listener e-mails.

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Website: http://www.solidverbal.com

Ty and Dan, in their most riveting show to date, discuss the age of the youngest girl that they would date.  And, yeah, they talked about college football too:

• The allure of Virginia Tech’s Lane Stadium and Blacksburg fraternity parties
• Penn State’s unspectacular loss against Iowa
• Jarrett Lee’s underwhelming showing against Alabama
• The “double standard” among major media outlets
• Todd Blackledge’s “Taste of the Town” segment
• The budding success of the Solid Verbal Podcast (with over 100 subscribers)
• A Solid Verbal Combine update

E-mail the show at solidverbal@gmail.com.  Rate us on iTunes!