Ty and Dan talk with Herb Hand, offensive line coach for Vanderbilt, about James Franklin’s successful first season, the perceived talent gap in the SEC, game planning for Alabama’s physical defense, and the addictive qualities of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.

Ty and Dan settle into postseason mode by discussing the latest news, running through an early 2012 top five, reading a compelling argument for the BCS, outlining the brilliance of the Paul Finebaum Show, and doing their best to win back a longtime Verballer.

Ty and Dan recap Alabama’s victory, Jordan Jefferson’s shuffle pass, Brad Smelley’s key role, their favorite bowl moments, and West Coast Kevin’s taco triumph.

Ty and Dan talk with Andy Staples from SI.com about his pick for the BCS Championship, the crucial role of special teams, the legacy of Jarrett Lee, and the tweaks needed to break the game one way or another.  Plus, food talk.

Ty and Dan talk with ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt about the BCS rematch between LSU and Alabama, questionable coaching hires, conference realignment, Maryland’s uniforms, Tyrann Mathieu’s silver suit, and blocking kicks in NCAA ’12.

Ty and Dan run through all the action from Conference Championship Week, break down the looming rematch between LSU and Alabama, take a quick glance at their favorite bowl match-ups, and debate another rousing rendition of the Dr. Pepper halftime throwing contest.  Plus, your Week 14 Reverbs.

Ty and Dan break down the impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, Michigan’s triumph over Ohio State, the Heisman credentials of Montee Ball, UCLA’s march to Pac-12 South glory, and all the other action from Rivalry Week.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan recap the so-called “Game of the Century” between LSU and Alabama and wonder whether other television options might’ve been a better choice. Plus, thoughts on the other Week 10 action and more listener voice messages.

Ty and Dan talk with SI.com’s Andy Staples about the giant LSU-Alabama showdown, South Carolina’s chances on the road against Arkansas, the pseudo-quarterback controversy at Oregon, and much more.  Plus, e-mails, locks of the week, and a weirdo musical cameo.

Ty and Dan debate the true definition of “Clemsoning,” break down the laser arm of Andrew Luck, and discuss all the Week 9 action.

Ty and Dan talk with Dan Wetzel from Yahoo! Sports about BCS doomsday scenarios, Fiesta Bowl debauchery, Bill Hancock, Andrew Luck, and the Fake Dan Beebe.

Ty and Dan rehash college football’s eighth week and discuss Kirk Cousins’ Hail Mary, James Franklin’s casual dress Saturday, Clemson’s chances of going unbeaten, and Nick Foles… in a winning effort!

Ty and Dan talk with Spencer Hall about Will Muschamp’s early marks, LSU-Alabama, the Big Ten, “We” Bombs, and a college football version of The Truman Show.  Plus, picks for all the big action during Week Eight.

Ty and Dan break down all the action from “Tire Fire Saturday,” including Ohio State’s passing offense, a near “Clemsoning,” and more unfortunate uniform combinations. Plus, voice messages from rowdy listeners.

Ty and Dan welcome Bruce Feldman back to the show to discuss Clemson’s ceiling, the looming LSU-Alabama showdown, Urban Meyer-to-Penn State rumors, the misunderstood Mike Gundy, and a host of other hot topics in college football.  Plus, your e-mails and voice messages, and a Week 7 Preview.

Ty and Dan review an underwhelming slate of Week 6 action, discuss Urban Meyer rumors, rank the ACC, and analyze Texas A&M’s attempts to simultaneously win AND lose each football game.  Plus, your Reverbs and another round of “Nick Foles In A Losing Effort.”

Ty and Dan make their Week 6 Picks, talk about Missouri’s potential move to the SEC, discuss Michigan’s defense, and debate whether Clemson is 2010 Auburn in disguise.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Milhouse van Houten, who may no longer exist after the spring. More like Thrillhouse, amiright?

*****

• Alabama and LSU haven’t even played once yet and CBS’s Brett McMurphy wonders if they could play again in the BCS National Championship. He sees things.

• USC‘s defense is good to go, says coordinator possibly not watching USC games.

• ESPN B1G blogger Brian Bennett believes in Michigan, or at least offers reasons as to why you should.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff and UCLA’s Rick Neuheisel are headed in “different directions.”

• The trailer for a new ESPNU documentary about the first SEC Championship game. Looks pretty excellent actually.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says the Big 12 should just let Mizzou go to greener, more SEC-like pastures.

• Staples also has power rankings in the tune of Star Wars. Yep.

• LSU CB Tyrann Mathieu is down with his “honey badger” nickname. Of course he is.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the new iPhone announcement, but in 90 easy seconds. This should be how life works always.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgnSuRxPQG8

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan rifle through all the Week 5 action and examine their lingering trust issues with Ohio State, Clemson, and Texas.

Ty Hildenbrandt and Dan Rubenstein take a closer look at impressive victories by LSU and Alabama, poke fun at Texas A&M’s pass defense, and devise a diabolical scheme to fix South Carolina’s quarterback problem. Plus, another batch of listener Reverbs and another tale of Nick Foles’ performance… in a losing effort, of course.

Ty and Dan plod through more cumbersome talk of conference realignment and play through Verballer voice messages before previewing week 4 and putting a double-jinx on Saturday’s Florida State-Clemson game.

Ty and Dan examine the wild night game at Michigan Stadium, South Carolina’s road triumph, Ohio State’s struggles, and Mack Brown’s appearance.  Plus, your Reverbs.

Ty and Dan talk about Texas A&M’s move to the SEC, Mark Richt’s hot seat, poor sportsmanship, and all the important action ahead in the second week of the season.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU graduate and Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof. This mention is to serve as a reminder that I still hold a grudge.

*****

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer has a week one wrap. Get your knowledge on.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly has week one number dissection. Get some more knowledge on.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has a new College Football Overtime in which he has the common sense to call the Pac-12 horrible after week one.

• In cased you missed it last night, Maryland wore crazy Medieval Times uniforms AND scored a FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN doing so. (and beat Miami)

• Tennessee has a new crimson-y AD.

• Reading this Heisman Watch collection will only hurt your brain.

• ESPN has conference power rankings. It’s what they do.

• Texas WR Marquise Goodwin is coming back to the Longhorns after saying he would redshirt to focus on track. The Garrett Gilbert Effect!

• SI.com’s Holly Anderson (Peete) has week one judginess.

• Nick Saban still doesn’t have a “starting quarterback” per se.

• Florida DT Shariff Floyd is still ineligible (for now).

• Ole Miss RB Brandon Bolden will miss a few weeks with a fractured ankle. Bad times.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris and LB Kiko Alonso are still suspended for the time being.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a collection of acceptable NSFW words, at least within the context of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. (NSFW)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Vs78Gh085M

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan lick their wounds after Notre Dame and Oregon suffer losses, but power through a full hour and recap all the significant Week One action.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oregon alumnus and sometime entrepreneur Phil Knight. Felt right.

*****

• Mississippi State rolled Memphis. Pretty numbers can be found next to the names of Bulldog QB Chris Relf and RB Vic Ballard.

• Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson and the Badgers had a fun Thursday night in Madison.

• CBS’s (!) Bruce Feldman has weekend picks. He began by missing the exact Wisconsin score by two points. Good start.

• USC secondary coach WIllie Mack Garza resigned. “NCAA probe” and “Willie Lyles” are two names that a report mentioned. Oops.

• Kentucky played Western Kentucky. Let’s just forget it ever happened.

• Syracuse‘s path to the national championship just got a little clearer.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall wrote this yesterday. SB Nation’s Spencer Hall wrote this. Not fair.

• ESPN‘s bloggers debate international free trade trends. Just kidding, it’s just Boise St -- Georgia.

• Connor Shaw will (maybe?) start at QB for South Carolina against ECU tomorrow. This can only end well, right?

• Ohio State is getting their suspension on. Feels like old times.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples talks to LSU coach Les Miles in moving pictures.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa is listed as “questionable” for tomorrow’s game at Boston College.

• Alabama‘s going with two QBs tomorrow. Fancy.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features a slingshot slip ‘n slide that launches people into a lake. I’m in.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShFAeNdiEiA

Enjoy your Friday. AND COLLEGE FOOTBALL SATURDAY!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan kick off their fourth season as hosts of The Solid Verbal by reviewing the news of the week, reading a handful of Verballer messages, and previewing the biggest games of 2011′s opening weekend.

Ty and Dan talk with Andy Staples from SI.com and preview the upcoming SEC season, Alabama’s defense, Mark Richt’s job security, Stephen Garcia’s leadership, LSU’s questions, and Kentucky’s non-existent offense.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by noted boat captain and laddy mag officer Hugh Hefner. He also is quite familiar with what Oskee Wow Wow means. I-L-L.

*****

• Four LSU players (including QB Jordan Jefferson) will be questioned soon about their alleged involvement in a bar fight. Well played, LSU, never let Oregon and the Pac-12 one-up the SEC with anything.

• NC State DT J.R. Sweezy is out six weeks after breaking his foot. Shame, he’s the captain of the All Real-Name-Sounds-Like-A-Nickname team.

• CBS’s Eric Sorenson has schedule grades. Kudos for the “F-” addition.

• Oregon RB Lache Seastrunk, a once-touted prospect and current central person in the ongoing Will Lyles saga, has decided to transfer, possibly to Baylor. Worth it!

• Nebraska‘s studying up for the B1G.

• ESPN‘s conference bloggers have bowl projections, just in case it had been too long without reading the words “Meineke Car Care” on a sports site.

• Notre Dame will name a starting QB tomorrow. The lathering sound you hear is coming from Eastern PA.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Alabama, proving he’ll preview any team, no matter how small or well-dressed they may be.

• Georgia has new uniforms for Week 1′s Boise State game.

• Is there a Taiwanese animation to accompany the Miami-Nevin Shapiro story? You tell me.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney previews the Mountain West. Hoping he didn’t wear blue on blue when he wrote it. Scandal.

• Celebrate former Miami booster Nevin Shapiro with new, comfortable attire!

• Rivals has the top ten flaws in college football. ACTUAL football flaws.

• “Boston College RB” is the new “Spinal Tap drummer.”

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is what you get when you combine a former fighter pilot who is now well into his 70s, a video camera, and a frank talk about boners.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGJ1zTMEupw

Enjoy your Monday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Stiller, brief UCLA attendee. Fockers aside, I’ll still watch Zoolander whenever/wherever.

*****

• LSU OC Steve Kragthorpe is stepping down as LSU’s offensive coordinator, but will continue to coach QBs after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. This is awful. The absolute best to him and his.

• The first USA Today Coaches’ Poll is out. You can’t imagine how much it means. Mostly because it means nothing.

• Parlazed Rutgers DL Eric LeGrand spoke to SportsCenter about his recovery. Always awesome.

• The B1G will go to nine conference games in 2017. Let’s all take a moment to remember Eastern Michigan.

• Texas WR Malcolm WIlliams is leaving the Longhorns.

• Butch Davis offered a UNC scholarship (written) to his QB son Drew before he got let go. Naturally, UNC chancellor Holden Thorp committed an NCAA violation talking about how mad it made him.

• UNC DL Brandon Willis just likes the road, man.

• Purdue has new, über plain uniforms. About right.

• Four Big East teams open camp today. ESPN’s Andrea Adelson has quick hitters.

• She does the same for BYU, which I have taken to phonetically pronouncing “Bayou” out loud just to spice things up.

• The Iron Bowl is being used to arrest deadbeat dads (complete with a fun soundtrack!). Really.

• Rivals has DL rankings. SALTINESS ABOUND.

• Auburn may utilize a redshirt freshman RB who checks in around three bills. DO IT.

• SI.com contributor George Schroeder examines Larry Scott’s ability to further expand the Pac-12.

• South Carolina isn’t down with the Twitter. #SadTweet is a real thing.

• Dr Saturday‘s Pac-12 Week continues with the Oregon schools and hot seats. #SadNeuFace

• Trans-conference robbery is a real thing!

• USC practice opened up last night. We could be setting our watches to Baxter Time for at least a few quarters, at which point he’ll probably just wander off somewhere.

• Rivals has a Big East preview. Where have I seen this before? That’s right.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dude traveling the world, six frames at a time.

Enjoy your Friday. Shirts increasing in volume next week, buy now to tell your friends you bought when it was cool.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by USC attendee Ron Howard, who had a similar run-in with TMZ to Marc Tyler’s, only his was way more graphic.

*****

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly gave his first extensive comments since Yahoo!‘s most recent Will Lyles story. Not much was said.

• Alabama *officially* has nothing to do with T-Town Menswear, the outfitter that definitely didn’t do anything wrong with current and former Tide players.

• The Mountain West has arbitrarily decided that Boise State can’t wear their all-blues at home. Because really, what you want to do when you lose your biggest team and gain a new signature team, you’d like alienate the new guys as soon as possible.

• Former Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor has a clearer path to the NFL’s Supplemental Draft — the Buckeyes want nothing to do with him.

• Stanford QB Andrew Luck will only play one more year for Stanford, surprising no one.

• UCLA QB Brett Hundley will be out for about a month after tearing meniscus in his right knee. The Bruins is exactly on schedule.

• Florida RB (and noted sprinter) Jeff Demps will play football this fall. Quickly.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd talks to Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops at Big 12 media day about losing. Exciting stuff.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has decided robots are the way to go for college football. It’s all fun and games until the video replay machine kills somebody.

• ESPN has choice quotes and storylines from Big 12 media day (Day 2). Lapel pins wowed the masses.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller is all up in Stanford QB Andrew Luck’s beard. And I don’t blame him.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt talks to ESPN’s Chris Fowler al fresco.

• Clemson QB Tajh Boyd got in an early dig on South Carolina. I like.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly loves him some pig sooie.

• I see what you did there, Georgia Tech. Clever.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday has a Minnesota preview. It includes a painful MarQueis Gray pun (but is otherwise very good).

(Michigan and Iowa are also ready for knowledge-gaining)

• Rivals has a West Virginia preview. I’m choosing to pronounced probable star WR Ivan McCartney “Ee-vahn,” mostly because I can.

• Tate Forcier is going to San Jose State (this week).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Baylor QB Robert Griffin not giving a crap. Go to 2:12 mark. (via Dr Sat)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAmEJ6qLN6Y

Enjoy your Wednesday. Drape yourself in fine cloth. 

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Missouri State (then SW Missouri St) attendee, just-announced Community actor, and all-around good thespian John Goodman.

*****

• Big 12 Media Day was full of Longhorn Network fun.

• Former Alabama WR Julio Jones was a man of many suits, just like we all were in college. No big deal.

• South Carolina QB coach G.A. Mangus really had to go. Like REALLY.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy looks ahead to September 17, the ACC‘s day of reckoning. Dun dun DUN.

• The SJ Mercury News’s Jon Wilner updates the Pac-12′s search for a network partner. Let’s assume for now that The Solid Verbal is out of the running.

• The NCAA will hold a summit to talk about proprietary TV networks. Probably a good idea.

• CBS Sports has a new feature called Rapid Reports with quick breaking news for the bigger CFB programs. And Maryland. (press cmnd-D shortly)

• To those that said ESPN being involved in the Longhorn Network would affect their own Texas coverage… you have a point (via EDSBS).

• Missouri coach Gary Pinkel isn’t a fan of the Longhorn Network.

• Take a look at Texas DC Manny Diaz’s defense. He’s crafty.

• Texas coach Mack Brown talks about protecting QBs. He ends up saying very little.

• ESPN has choice Big 12 Media Day quotes and storylines. Also, OSU coach Mike Gundy‘s hair looks darker.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich has a Day 2 ACC media day notebook. Punting is somehow involved.

• Boston College coach Frank Spaziani talks the ‘stache. He’s the best.

• Unofficial preseason B1G polls are out. Gobble ‘em up!

• ESPNU’s Tom Luginbill has recruit summaries from something called “Gridiron Kings.”

• Is Clemson coach Dabo Swinney already running out of time? Perhaps, says Fox Sports South’s Andrew Jones.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly doesn’t have a preview today. But if he did, it’d be South Carolina. I’m such a prankster.

• Paralyzed Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand is awesome.

• It’s B1G Week for Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday. Go get yourself some learnin’.

• Michigan’s too good for non-Notre Dame non-conference road trips. Not everyone can be men.

• Former top Miami S recruit Latwan Anderson will be making his way to Cincinnati.

• Rivals previews BYU. Fact: If you read all of the previews Rivals and Dr. Saturday do, you’re somewhere between 10-15x more informed than almost everyone on TV. Do it!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is my favorite scene from The Big Lebowski (N-S-F-W). Sometimes, I just need it. Happy Birthday, Keeerrrttt1!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPo9OBrIOi4

Enjoy your Tuesday. Get flossy.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about the launch of his new site (OutkickTheCoverage.com) and his thoughts on a hodgepodge of SEC topics in the midst of Media Days.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Connie Britton, Dartmouth graduate, Friday Night Lights alumnus, and Jimmy Traina podcast guest. I think we all know what her legacy will be.

*****

• Bruce Feldman has an army of supporters. Here’s proof. And here’s the original story.

• Georgia Tech‘s 2009 season didn’t happen and they’ll be probed closely for the next four years. For $100,000.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd examines the new Mike Leach book, Swing Your Sword.

• Fox Sports Florida claims Florida State’s secondary is the “best in the nation” (according to the headline). Also, it’s an irrefutable fact that the Seminoles were 103rd in 2010 in total passing yards allowed and were thoroughly average even within the ACC in Y/A allowed, QB rating against, and completion percentage against. Other than that, though, LOCK DOWN.

• Touted RB recruit Kenyan Drake picked his school of choice via head shaving. Yeah.

• Rivals previews Michigan. Apparently, the impact newcomer is a kicker. If that doesn’t get you fired up … you’re probably justified in your apprehension.

• Jim Tressel was officially “unacceptable.”

• Georgia LB Richard Samuel is now Georgia RB Richard Samuel.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an elaborate toy war. I’m more than a little jealous.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=38pj4mWDrsA

Enjoy your Friday. Merchandise!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Regis Philbin, who apparently attended and graduated from Notre Dame. Who knew?

*****

• If you’re the last person who hasn’t read it, here’s Yahoo!’s Will Lyles/Oregon story.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer ponders independence and major football programs.

• The body of Purdue RB Sean Matti was found in a Lake in Indiana. Unspeakably tragic.

• Former UNC DE Mike McAdoo is suing UNC and the NCAA for reinstatement. Nancy Grace is outraged.

• Illinois DL Chris Jones was charged with battery. At least he didn’t have cocaine on him like the last time he was arrested, right?

• Alabama QB A.J. McCarron has a sizable sternum tat. Reason for concern?

• SI.com’s Andy Staples brings the noise with his Cheating for Dummies column.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly includes Yo La Tengo in his USF preview. Also, Bill Connelly never stops.

• Neither does Rivals’s's’s's’s UCF preview, apparently.

• South Carolina DE Jadeveon Clowney is officially a South Carolina DE. Must’ve been waiting for all of the AP results to come back.

• Want Rich Rodriguez’s Michigan house? Sure you do! (via Dr Sat)

• Auburn needs a QB. Soon.

• The Big East has defensive lines, so ESPN feels compelled to rank them.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett echoes what we talked about last week — new Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson is good, but the greatness talk needs to be scaled back.

• The B1G has LBs. But you knew that already.

• A giant combine/tournament is going on on the Nike campus in Portland. ESPN has first-day stories.

• Cincinnati QB Chazz Anderson (DOUBLE Z!) has transferred to Buffalo. RIP multiple Chaz(z)es in the Big East.

• Georgia assistant recruiting coordinator Charles Canton got the hell out of Athens. Peculiar?

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at the B1G challenges ahead for Nebraska.

• Vanderbilt decided to pull a Stanford and recruit smart kids that can also play football.

• Maryland OL Justin Lewis is now persona non grata in College Park, MD.

• Top incoming Texas DT Quincy Russell failed to qualify for the Longhorns.

• Incoming Alabama RB Dee Hart may have torn an ACL. Or maybe not.

• Rivals profiles new Texas Tech DC Chad Glasgow, who promises to be better than the last guy, Chad Edinburgh.

• The Longhorn Network is getting two 2011 Texas games. Hurray!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is mustachio’d monkeys being fascinated by an iPod touch. Of course.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nP73LFhcKY

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy clothing!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chicago State attendee Kanye West. “College Graduate” or “Ph.D Candidate” just doesn’t have the same ring for a huge hip-hop album, does it?

*****

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd got probation in his DUI case. I wonder how he’s going to celebrate.

• New Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson talks about his commitment to the Badgers. It’s about 30% as exciting as you think it’ll be.

• Wisconsin getting QB Russell Wilson somehow affects Oregon State, because the Beavers you see, at one point, had a shot in Madison this year.

• Two Alabama players have been suspended and each of them has an awesome name.

• ESPN ranks Big East WRs. Rutgers apparently has the best corps, which of course makes no sense.

• UNC DE Quinton Coples should be good to go. Sorry, ACC.

• ESPN then ranks B1G OL, which, if memory serves, is all of them.

• Rivals is counting down all 120 teams. Get yourself knowledge’d up.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly is selling on Arizona. The troublesome detail of them replacing nearly all of their big people worries him/everyone.

• CBS’s Adam Jacobi appears on the CBS College Football Podcast. We will bury you, CBS. (or link to your podcast with writers we like)

• Oklahoma CB Tony Jefferson really knows how to put things into perspective.

• LSU has received less attention for its dealings with Willie Lyles than Oregon has. LSUFreek explains why. Kind of.

(I hope I inspired this.)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the Mission Impossible 17 trailer. I just can’t quit you, Brad Bird.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0LQnQSrC-g

Enjoy your Wednesday. Dress yourself.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Purdue graduate Jim Gaffigan, who probably, despite the bacon and hot pockets, still has healthier knees than Ralph Bolden.

*****

• Former NC State QB Russell Wilson is officially a Wisconsin Badger. I don’t even know why we’re wasting time actually playing out the B1G season. Sam Keller approves of this message.

• When it comes to the rule that allows Wilson to transfer, SI.com’s Andy Staples is a shameless fanboy.

• The autopsy results pertaining to the death of Alabama OL Aaron Douglas came back positive for multiple drugs.

• The Pac-12 is bringing Apple and Google aboard. Lycos and AltaVista are still totally down to party, Big 12.

• Former Florida Gator and current Miami Dolphin LB Channing Crowder “hypothetically” sold his jerseys while still in school. Hypothetically, I don’t care.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles Miami coach Al Golden. The word “swagger” appears no less than three times.

• Former ASU WR Kerry Taylor has gone public with his lack of confidence in ASU coach Dennis Erickson. It’s almost like Taylor has closely followed Erickson’s career.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg talks to Kansas OC Chuck Long mostly about non-Kansas things. Probably smart.

• Purdue RB Ralph Bolden has intact ACLs. For now.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson profiles Navy OL Travis Bridges. Spoiler: Root for Travis Bridges.

• ESPN’s David Ubben catches up with former Oklahoma QB Jason White. He now sells clothes on fewer intact ACLs than Ralph Bolden.

• Given its recent circumstances, could Ohio State recruiting take a hit? Probably, says Fox Sports.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly gets all up in the Cougars. I wrote that sentence like that on purpose. BYU.

• It should be known that Marshall has a RB named “Tron.” And that he is not at all above the law.

• Rivals has bounce back players.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a local TV reporter casually taking a last puff from a cigarette … while covering a blazing oil fire.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6UCbNPZEW8

Enjoy your Tuesday. Go buy things.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kentucky alum and superfan, Ashley Judd, who is probably paying part of John Calipari’s eventually-vacated contract extension.

*****

• Two Georgia players are now on the (in)eligibility radar. I pasted that from an earlier item.

• In dealing with NCAA inquiries, Oregon has retained the services of a law firm and attorney that writers themselves call “The Cleaner.”

• UNC released the names of the players who accrued the hundreds of parking tickets. Former WR Greg Little “had 93 tickets on multiple vehicles with nine different license plates.” Prolific.

• USF OL Danous Estenor heroically picks up cars. No big deal.

• Former NC St QB Russell Wilson will announce his 2011 destination today. He will then appear on College Football Live. Adjust your schedule accordingly. Or don’t, whatever.

• ESPN’s Craig James appears to have become awfully political for an analyst not supposed to be publicly political.

• ESPN has Big East OL rankings, ACC OL rankings, and B1G OL rankings. Don’t blame me when conference OL rankings come up at a cocktail party and you have nothing to say.

• Something called “T-Woolf” will take the field for Michigan in a couple months. I warned you.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly previews Michigan State while also conceding that the Spartans didn’t deserve to beat Alabama in the Capital One Bowl. Whew.

• Vanderbilt has sneakily begun the recruiting season in strong fashion. Do yo’ thang, Coach Hand. Do yo’ thang.

• Former Alabama RB Corey Grant will transfer to Auburn to be in Gus Malzahn’s spread system. Apparently, he thinks Gus Malzahn will be in Auburn next fall. Cute.

• Florida DE Chris Martin will once again transfer. Frequent flyer miles up the wazoo.

• Pitt will take on its 48th B1G transfer, this time it’s Wisconsin RB Zach Brown.

• How Oklahoma State got $165 million from T. Boone Pickens. I imagine one of the ways was a promise of absolutely no swift boats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the worst cat DJ ever. Pretty much a no-talent.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HA5WVjMBX8

Enjoy your Monday. Buy tees!

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the late (and still awesome) Phil Hartman, former CSUN employee. He also sings today’s Video of the Day song. He’s that good.

*****

• According to documents released yesterday to The Oregonian, recruiting material Oregon paid for for 2011 prospects was mostly made up of class of 2009 recruits. Probably not ideal.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples reacts and thinks Oregon either got ripped off or shadiness was abound.

• Auburn pays employees. I know, right?

• Louisville CB Darius Ashley got a second DUI. It’s right around five or six where you really start getting concerned, I guess.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff ranks specific SEC linebackers and full SEC linebacking corps. Be on the lookout for a particularly sassy Alabama LB Dont’a Hightower.

• ESPN’s David Ubben ranks Big 12 RBs. Be on the lookout for a particularly sassy Texas A&M RB Christine Michael.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich ranks ACC RBs. I originally wrote “Heater Dinich,” which is a much cooler name.

• The Ohio BMV (not DMV!) said no “wrongdoing” was done when Ohio State football players purchased cars. I still can’t get over “BMV.”

• Former West Virginia coach Bill Stewart will be paid $1.65 million as a buyout. That’s a LOT of porches and lemonade.

• Football Study Hall previews Georgia Tech. What I gleaned is that the Yellowjackets run their offense really well, except when they don’t.

• “Central Florida is gonna getcha!” says SI.com’s Stewart Mandel.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the monorail song from The Simpsons. Just because it’s probably been too long for all of us.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF_yLodI1CQ

Enjoy your Tuesday. Buy things.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former UCLA attendee and noted insane person Nicolas Cage. It’s about time.

*****

• Does Ohio State AD Gene Smith want to hire private detectives to tail Buckeye football players? Um, possibly.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd has ten facts about the Rose Bowl. My weird Rose Bowl fact: It’s the best place to see a game in January, but probably the worst September through December.

• North Carolina players have accrued over $13,000 in parking tickets. That sort of thing requires a professional-level ability to never, ever give a shit.

• Oregon CB Cliff Harris is at a non-Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony crossroads, says the Register-Guard’s George Schroeder.

• MGOBLOG compares Ohio St to USC. In a completely reasonable, unbiased way. Mostly.

• After an unfortunate reference to Aaron Douglas (removed shortly after posting), ESPN’s Edward Aschoff ranks SEC offensive lines.

• The ACC is very happy with their dainty debutante schedule, thank you very much.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg ranks Big Ten running backs. He separates Wisconsin‘s two headed monster, which is a testament to just how cruel and unusual Adam Rittenberg truly is.

• Colorado C Mike Iltis is retiring due to both injury and academic concerns, making him the 18th player to leave the Colorado program this offseason. That doesn’t feel like a normal number, does it?

• Lost Letterman ranks college football’s top transfers. I hope Kansas State RB Bryce Brown makes the list again in two years.

• Auburn coach Gene Chizik was kind of surprised he was hired two years ago, too.

• Incoming Ohio St linebacker Ejuan Price requests permission to become “Former Ohio St linebacker Ejuan Price.”

• Notre Dame is getting a network. You probably won’t watch it.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a completely insane remix of The View. I have no idea, either.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLR614kge4w

Enjoy your Friday. Buy apparel.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ben Schwartz, Union College (Schenectady!) graduate. He was good doing shorts for ESPN and is now great occasionally on Parks and Rec. Also, his hair is eerily similar to mine.

*****

• Terrelle Pryor pulled a Jason Giambi and apologized for nothing in particular. Sports!

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy looks at how the tornadoes that hit Alabama brought a little bit of humanity to the Iron Bowl. Just a little.

• Pitt and Penn St will start playing each other again in five years. By that time, Ty and I will either be THE voices of college football or we’ll be long gone with the money we’ve slowly laundered from everyone that has ever listened to the show.

• Texas lost WR Greg Timmons to a nasty case of no longer wanting to play for Texas.

• Free agent QB Russell Wilson should be deciding on a 2011 destination soon. You know, for grad school.

• The CBS Sports Network, which will forever be a triple digit channel, has hired Rich Rodriguez to be a full time analyst.

• Football Study Hall aims at Ole Miss. And Dairy Queen. Just read it.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich looks at Week 3 of the ACC slate. My calendar also says today is June 15, if you’re curious.

• SEC running backs are ranked. No joke to be had here, the conference is filthy is backs.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg chats with Michigan St coach Mark Dantonio.

• New West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen went skydiving yesterday. And almost exploded.

• Oh, you thought The Wiz was done rolling out the financial reports from the bowl games. Too silly.

• Rivals’s's’s's’s Tom Dienhart looks at the biggest scheme changes of the offseason.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features two seals being released into the wild. And wouldn’t you know it, right after they were released, things got super romantic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgJbqyQN164

Enjoy your Wednesday. Buy stuff!

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by somebody named Blake Lively, who apparently is now a fake naked person who may or may not coincidentally have a movie coming out soon. Crazy how that works.

*****

• The SEC spring meetings began and oversigning was the topic du jour.

• Kansas DC Carl Torbush decided to retire to devote his attention to battling “low grade prostate cancer.” Let’s hope for a swift, speedy Torbushian recovery.

• ESPN’s Mark May has spelling credibility! <— I don’t know what “credibility” means.

• Deadspin’s Tommy Craggs very intelligently argues that Jim Tressel is a “symptom, not the disease.”

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly studies Rutgers. Our sympathies.

• Incoming Oregon LB Tyson Coleman was chased down (on bike) and arrested by police after ditching an unopened can of 4Loko. Yep.

• SEC coaches react to Jim Tressel’s resignation. I’m not sure Houston Nutt actually knows what happened. Seriously.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall eulogizes Jim Tressel. Oh don’t act surprised that there’s a “suck it” reference in the first paragraph.

• Texas compliance is for real.

• Top incoming South Carolina recruit Jadeveon Clowney is most likely eligible. Hurray!

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jon Stewart tap dancing on Sarah Palin.

Enjoy your Wednesday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UC Riverside alum and Hangover Part 2 actress Jamie Chung. Chung is attractive and UCR is known has the Highlanders and their bear mascot has a half blue face to honor William Wallace. No part of that sentence was invented in any way.

*****

• Former Ohio State WR Ray Small sold his Buckeye memorabilia while still enrolled and on the team. I just hope Jim Tressel doesn’t fire E. Gordon Gee. ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg puts it into context.

• USC‘s appeal of the NCAA‘s 2010 decision was straight Mutumbo’d. Remember USC’s 2004 BCS title? Wrong, you don’t.

• Is the Big East expanding? Could they add another school in Texas or the service academies? Find out next time on “Maybe?”!!

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel explains why Alabama is his preseason #1. He surmises that their outstanding good players will impact their fortunes.

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen and WVU AD Oliver Luck agreed that Holgorsen’s mystery actions were “inappropriate.” Stop with the teasing already, Morgantown.

• Georgia coach Mark Richt appears to be selling his lake house because he’s a charitable human being. I’m ok with this.

• LSU is “oozing” with talent. DC John Chavis illustrates this, um, accurately in the attached photo.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff addresses SEC QB battles. Apparently, nobody knows who’s going to throw for a crapload of INTs in Oxford yet.

• Fox Sports, with an assist from a photo gallery of ACC cheerleaders, profiles new Clemson QB Tajh Boyd, Boyd, by all accounts, had a mostly horrific spring, though it’s oddly not mentioned here at all. But the cheerleaders definitely are.

• Football Study Hall has your stinkin’ numbers right here, UCLA. And they really are quite stinkin’.

• A high school freshman has eight major verbal scholarship offers. This can only end well.

• Indiana football is going to be different this time. Honest.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a clip from last night’s amazing NCAA South Park (via EDSBS).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVfiaVM0ap8

Enjoy your Thursday

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by late West Virginia alumnus Don Knotts, who despite his allegiance to the Mountaineers, would’ve probably sided with Johnny Law re: Dana Holgorsen.

*****

• West Virginia OC Dana Holgorsen was allegedly escorted from the premises of a casino. Allegedly.

• SEC commissioner Mike Slive is proposing anti-oversigning legislation. I imagine it’s called something like the SabanSpurrierNuttPetrino Addendum. Or something.

• CBS Sports’s Brett McMurphy profiles Pitt coach Todd Graham. Graham celebrated by immediately suspending his backup QB.

• ESPN’s Joe Schad reported that former NC State QB Russell Wilson visited Auburn yesterday. Excuse me, I should have used his full name … Joe Schad According to Sources.

• With the Big 10 weighing options to cover additional “cost of attendance” for student-athletes, EDSBS examines just what that means at different schools.

• Oregon coach Chip Kelly talks about his team’s unique way of naming captains. After reading this, I think I may have been inadvertently named a captain of something.

• The Big 12 has dark horses. Or do they?

• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd may not miss any games after all. Nice ‘n tidy.

• Nomadic QB Tate Forcier either wants to be closer to home or doesn’t. That about covers it.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall has some thoughts about South Carolina being favored to win the SEC East. He feels cautiously nauseated.

• Noted horrible person Senator Jon Kyl won’t be returning the contribution he received from the Fiesta Bowl.

• Boise State‘s secret? Holland pipeline, duh.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I can’t argue with any of what Marty Funkhauser says.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8iW4vr1EaU

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Athens, GA native Kim Basinger, who probably doesn’t know Jake Scott, recent College Football Hall of Fame inductee from Georgia. She also probably doesn’t know that her scenes in Wayne’s World 2 made me feel all funny inside. Probably.

*****

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has a post-spring Top 25. Ty’s already excited.

• The Daily’s Dan Wolken takes down the APR system.

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy weighs in on Big East expansion in the wake of the mammoth Pac-12 TV deal. Apparently, the Big East wants some pie.

• EA Sports’s NCAA 12 lets you screw around with conference and bowl alignment. And the Big East takes another early hit.

• Former Ohio State basketball player Mark Titus comments on the little he knows (or doesn’t) regarding Ohio State football players and their automobiles.

• Want coach’s cam angle game film from Auburn/Oregon, TCU/Wisconsin, and Stanford/Oregon? Follow this link, friend. (via EDSBS)

• Fox Sports South profiles Alabama RB Trent Richardson and even trots out pictures of Florida cheerleaders to bolster their content. Heroic.

• Football Study Hall slaps Purdue around with rock hard data. And sexy line graphs.

• Georgia alum and new College Football Hall of Fame inductee Jake Scott is a man.

• SI.com’s Bill Carey makes the case for ten possible early enrollee impact players.

• LSU coach Les Miles is/was a greased-up, sculpted man machine.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Bert sitting down with SNL’s Andy Samberg. Yes, that Bert.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhDIlSdpV-c

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Minnesota attendee Bob Dylan, who, you won’t believe this, was a heroin enthusiast for a bit. Upset of all upsets, I know.

*****

• CBS’s Brett McMurphy eyeballs the Big East and the crossroads it may or may not find itself nearing.

• When Michigan plays Notre Dame (in Michigan Stadium‘s first ever night game), the Wolverines will wear made-up throwback uniforms. Certainly one option.

• Former Missouri QB Tyler Gabbert visited Louisville over the weekend. At this point, Louisville is being strongly considered as one of many options.

• Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino is the newest coach to get PAID. The good news is his buyout (should he decide to leave) is $18 million in the near future and then $10 million thereafter. And both kidneys. And an eye. And he has to be Arkansas‘s butler.

• Auburn and Alabama spend money on recruiting services. And then some more money.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has been positively bipolar during his “Hope & Concern” series. He’s been torn up by USC and Washington so far.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg analyzes Michigan’s schedule, just like he did for eight other conference teams. Basically, you can go screw off, Indiana, Northwestern, and Purdue.

• Football Study Hall gets its numbers all up in Kansas State. Bill Snyder will definitely not be reading this, which is why you absolutely should.

• The Wiz is running up the score with his bowl expense reports. Total pro.

• USC QB Matt Barkley is a History Channel superstar.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Blake Griffin jumping over a tiger and begging to be in a video game. I like Blake Griffin.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8hJx2KOUdY

Enjoy your Monday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Ohio State alum and noted enthusiasm curber, Richard Lewis. Great, thanks Jim Tressel, another thing for Lewis to get bummed out about. Just great.

*****

• SI Video has a great video piece about the University of Alabama and the recent tornado. Incredibly for SI, it’s not a writer on the phone passed off as “video.”

• Keep following the Wiz of Odds‘s takedown of bowl deals with his ongoing expense report series.

• The NCAA, being the all-powerful oversight organization that they are, answered questioning from the Department of Justice with a simple, “Not us, go ask them.”

• West Virginia AD Oliver Luck doesn’t think it’d be the worst thing in the world if Mountaineer fans got a little drunker. (That sentence came out more misleading than even I could’ve intended.)

• CBS Sports’s Brett McMurphy talks to Florida coach Will Muschamp about how he got hired and what the former Texas coach sees in OC Charlie Weis. Hint: it’s not QB John Brantley running the option.

• Purdue‘s getting new uniforms. If there was any sense in the world, they’d feature a giant picture of Ryan Kerrigan, with the words, “He Went Here” underneath. Unfortunately, they’ll probably just look like this.

• Colorado DE Forrest West, who seems quite pleased with himself in his team photo, is transferring to NC State. I don’t need to hope he’s happy — I already know.

• South Carolina RB Marcus Lattimore is in decent shape. And by that I mean, his leg may contain more power than Ty and I do combined. Even if you add in some of our extended family members, I think we’re still just approaching Lattimore.

• Former TCU safety Tejay Johnson is completely awesome at life.

• SB Nation’s Football Study Hall continues to not sleep and pump out numbers that try to explain and preview teams. Washington and Northwestern the latest FBO treatments.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel wonders if Arizona State can be this year’s Auburn and come out of nowhere to be national title contenders. The Solid Verbal’s Dan Rubenstein has seen ASU play and politely disagrees with any of this wondering nonsense.

• Rivals profiles new Clemson OC Chad Morris, who will forever be known as “the guy who screwed Clemson up” or “the guy who got Clemson over the hump,” and nothing in between.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is an oldie, but still maintains its crown has the greatest Black Eyed Peas cover (or for that matter, performance) of all time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlfO1C2QcvY

Enjoy your Thursday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Whitney Cummings, Penn graduate and awesomely mean comedian with two shows getting picked up for the fall. Not bad.

*****

• CBS Sports new guy Brett McMurphy profiles Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald, modern hand-holding enthusiast.

• Miami will lose their most appropriately-named Hurricane, RB Storm Johnson, to a transfer request. Apparently the backfield was too crowded for him. Awww.

• Similarly, Iowa’s Adam Robinson will now *officially* transfer. Same goes for Wisconsin RB Zach Brown, though Brown should graduate this summer and become somewhat of a free agent.

• The latest on (alleged) Toomer’s Corner tree poisoner, Harvey Updyke. No feds for you.

• The Columbus Dispatch profiles Gene Marsh, Jim Tressel‘s esteemed attorney. I’m betting he’s used the word “dagnabbit” in the last 24 hours.

• MGoBlog imagines the possibilities if Michigan can simply get their turnover margin to … “mediocre.” This is what John Lennon was talking about the whole time.

• ESPN’s Chris Low looks at the toughest three-game stretches on the SEC schedule.

• ESPN’s David Ubben has a friendly sitdown with ESPNU’s Tom Luginbill to get the skinny on Texas A&M. Verdict: They’re doing aiiiiiggghhhtttt.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett has BIG TEN MEETING NOTES. Game changer.

• Jay from the Wiz of Odds is aggregating dozens of bowl expense reports. Here’s his story.

• A bunch of coaches discuss their favorite stats. Turnover margin is the cool kid here.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day keeps with this week’s trailer theme and is Fox’s new animated Jonah Hill show, Allen Gregory. Given how bad most of the pilots look It’s almost weird to enjoy new network content.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xL3aOAryx_c

Enjoy your Wednesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you once again by NC State alumnus Zach Galafianakis, star of Between Two Ferns and other things that may come out soon.

*****

• Ole Miss dismissed DE Delvin Jones and LB Clarence Jackson after they were arrested for public drunkenness. It was not the first trouble either had been in. I know, right?

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd proposes an idea to have Auburn-Alabama scrimmage in August to raise money for tornado relief. It’s such a good idea that it isn’t even his. Don’t worry, no credit was given.

• Illinois AD Ron Guenther announced his formal retirement. To be safe, Ron Zook better get a letter of rec sooner rather than later.

• ESPN College Gameday will begin the season at the Oregon-LSU game in Dallas. A victory for those that prefer their pre-game college football coverage in a sterile, safe setting. YES!

• Cal coach Jeff Tedford reminisced about the old days at Fresno State. I can’t wait until some ranked team cockily strides into Fresno and loses — I’m never going to stop with the, “You don’t come into the SJV talking that mess!” jokes. Never.

• Nebraska AD Tom Osborne backs Jim Tressel in the Ohio State coach’s ongoing struggle. Whenever a former coach who famously started a player right after that player threw a woman down a flight of stairs calls, YOU LISTEN.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has a tidy SEC spring wrap. He tries dutifully to say nice things about LSU QB Jordan Jefferson.

• Minnesota gets the Football Outsiders treatment. Summary: If they’re going to win, it’ll be because of the offense.

• Anchor of Gold has a Vanderbilt offensive preview. More on this later.

• Oregon‘s OL gets a boost with the return of C Hamani Stevens, who left the school to complete a Mormon mission. Of course, he hasn’t put on pads in two years, he’s not in Eugene or enrolled in the school, so let’s all temper our collective excitement for now.

• New Florida WR Ja’Juan Story likes to poop and listen to Katy Perry.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the preview for the NBC show, “The Playboy Club.” It’s all the sexiness of Playboy and the early 60s mixed with the horrible development and generally misguided sensibilities of NBC.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-dnE5NtJDs

Enjoy your Tuesday.

***Follow me on Twitter.***

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Raylan Givens. I just got caught up on “Justified,” and holy hell is it good. I don’t know if ora where a fictional character went to college, so let’s just assume Oregon.

*****

• Alabama OL Aaron Douglas was found dead in Jacksonville. He was a JUCO transfer who was a freshman All-American at Tennessee. An unspeakable tragedy.

• CBS Sports bloggers debate the merits of supposed post-spring top 25 teams. I believe that’s our pal Adam Jacobi flexing in the first picture.

• You’re not going to believe this, but former Michigan QB Tate Forcier won’t be a Miami Hurricane after all, citing “personal reasons.” Probably a win for Miami here.

• Fox Sports’s Bruce Hooley presumes that Ohio State fans aren’t being realistic about the Jim Tressel situation. Onohedint.

• SB Nation’s Bill Connelly reviews Colorado with meaningful numbers. If you haven’t yet, take the time to learn Football Study Hall‘s stats. It won’t make Colorado any better, just more interesting.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel took part in a mock exercise walking through the NCAA enforcement process. He was last seen glassy-eyed and aimlessly wandering the streets of New York.

• Miami QB Jacory Harris is vacationing in Idaho and tweeted this. Not entirely surprising. (via)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for Owen Wilson’s Steve Nash documentary. Bet you didn’t see that coming.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5jN3sd2mGI

Enjoy your Friday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Kristen Wiig, who stars in “Bridesmaids,” her comedy debut. After so many years on SNL, it’s clear she was ready for a change in genre.

*****

• The Wall Street Journal breaks down the success of first round NFL Draft picks. It all makes so much sense.

• The NCAA announced that no new bowls will be formed for at least three years. We can now officially mourn the possibility of Allentown’s proposed Hot Dog King Bowl.

• A huge, horrible tornado hit Tuscaloosa and barely missed Alabama’s Bryant-Denny Stadium. Here’s how you can help out.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg looks at B1G Ten draft bargains. The list rightfully includes the conference’s most efficient 2010 QB and most consistent WR. And, for what it’s worth, Minnesota QB Adam Weber.

• When it comes to the “postseason,” the newly-independent BYU will be treated like Army and Navy, not like Notre Dame. This means an agreement with ………. The Armed Forces Bowl!!!!

• Kentucky has inexperience playing behind an experienced offensive line. Things should improve now that the offense doesn’t have to face Toby “T-Bone” Griffin in practice every day. And yes, I am catching up on Justified, why?

• Stop what you’re doing — Kansas State coach Bill Snyder has officially made it public knowledge that Bryce Brown is talented.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller speaks with Arizona State OC Noel Mazzone. Ted’s video grab is much kinder than the last one we saw.

• Florida CB Janoris Jenkins and Florida coach Will Muschamp have agreed to mutually part ways. Only it wasn’t mutual at all.

• In hopes of keeping their BCS status, the Fiesta Bowl has pitched the BCS on the ways they will reform their business plan. I assume this means fewer strippers, but nothing’s finalized yet.

• Nicki Meyer’s dad isn’t going to Ohio State, you guys. Srsly.

• Presumed starting Illinois RB Jason Ford was arrested on an outstanding warrant. I imagine this means the warrant was both previously existed and was one of the more perfect warrants issued by the local police department.

• Addicted to Quack makes some predictions for the Ducks’ Saturday spring game (ESPN2 4 PM ET). Pay no attention to the radio and podcast host sitting 14 inches from his TV.

• SI.com’s Don Banks issues his final Mock Draft. Adam Weber is nowhere to be found. SI also ranks their Top 50 Overall Prospects. It’s still unclear whether any part of that last sentence needed to be capitalized.

• Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville is (was?) a birther. Do with this information what you will.

• Take a page from Auburn OC Gus Malzahn‘s playbook. Seriously, here’s a page.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vybSGMkqWbQ

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by UCSB graduate Dan Harmon, creator of Community, which made me laugh more than anything else did last night. It’s gotten unbearably easy to make it into this spot. Oh well.

*****
• Toomer’s Corner poisoner Harvey Updyke was attacked a couple of days ago after a hearing, so naturally he called into the Paul Finebaum show yesterday. It was all very much absurd and amazing. SB Nation’s Holly Anderson summarizes.

• Alabama coach Nick Saban recruits thoroughly. ESPN’s Jamie Newberg foolishly thinks he can enter the Saban recruiting world and not come back scarred and alone.

• If you at all watched Utah after mid-October, it should come as no surprise that the Utes’ defense was ahead of the offense during the spring game. The SLC Punk may need to start warming up his arm.

• Top RB recruit Jonathan Gray has selected … TEXAS!! Do you believe in Miracles? … YES!!

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney hosted a Clemson Fantasy Camp. Oh sure, it’s all middle aged fun and games until #95 falls down the hill. Fine, that was fun too.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller reports that USC coach Lane Kiffin is ready to be judged by his winning. As opposed to what exactly before?

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has a pleasant conversation with probably Wisconsin QB Jon Budamayr. At first glance, his name appears fun to say. I’ll keep you posted.

• Fox Sports Midwest tries to make sense of Blaine Gabbert’s run at QB for Mizzou. To my unprofessional, untrained eye, he always looked above average, but never worthy of elite conversations. That’s why they pay me the big bucks.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples has had it UP TO HERE with the BCS’s threats regarding their anti-trust lawsuit. UP TO HERE!

• Michigan CB Cullen Christian is leaving Ann Arbor, making him the 47th defensive back to leave in two years. Hurts.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a Super Mario proposal. As in marriage proposal. I always approve of dorklove. Always.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_CxFnKrMBw

Enjoy your Friday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by the excellent Aisha Tyler, Dartmouth graduate and Archer (season finale tonight) voicestress.

*****

• UMass is joining the MAC. Forget everything you know.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart eulogizes the great career of legendary UNC broadcaster Woody Durham. No snark here — very little in sports is ever cooler than a old, trusted play by play guy.

• Harvey Updyke, the Alabama fan who poisoned the trees at Auburn‘s Toomer’s Corner, was attacked at a gas station after a court hearing. S-E-C! S-E-C!

• Virginia Tech is playing around with defensive line depth. DT Antoine Hopkins appears to be a name to remember, though unfortunately, it’ll probably get used with the word “lunch pail” and “blue collar.”

• The attorney general from the state of Utah is suing the BCS over the organization’s alleged status as an “illegal monopoly.” This will only end in almost nobody caring.

• Minnesota is all about tempo. Low and slow it is not.

• Northwestern and Stanford have agreed to a series of games. Most people are looking at this from a perspective of two esteemed academic institutions meeting, which is good enough for me.

• Michigan State‘s next step? Staying good every year, at least until being throttled by an SEC team on New Years.

• Speaking of which. Fox Sports Detroit profiles OL Arthur Ray, who, if there’s any justice in the world, should be flattening people come September.

• Oh and now you’re going to tell me cocaine trafficking should be off-limits for Duke linebackers?

• Touted high school QB Zeke Pike committed to Auburn. Zeke!

• Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen is doing a swell job in Starkville. This is all going to be quite uncomfortable when he leaves in the next two years.

• Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez has separated himself from the pack, at least for now. Sort of.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Terri” which looks good and makes me want to wear pajamas. Well, more.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpUzuZGiPho

Enjoy your Thursday.

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Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Columbia alum Art Garfunkel. Why? Just look at him. He’s Art Garfunkel, damnit.

*****

• Ohio State AD Gene Smith talks about his “nightmare” situation with Jim Tressel.

• CBS’s Tony Barnhart has ten burning SEC questions. If the burning continues tomorrow morning for Mr. Barnhart, I recommend a trip to a physician for antibiotics and a stern talking-to about life decisions.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel isn’t thinking happy thoughts about Auburn‘s immediate future. HATERZ!!

• Former Alabama RB Mark Ingram is your NCAA 12 cover model, beating out Auburn’s Nick Fairley and two overvalued NFL Draft prospects.

• Iowa State coach Paul Rhoads punches a moose. AC-TING!!

• If you guessed “deer antler” as the source of a secret supplement that Auburn players used last year to supposedly heal faster, you have chosen wisely.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson visited TCU and has some double dashes to report.

• She also got some voice time with Boise State coach Chris Petersen. The usual topics were broached.

• Iowa State doesn’t quite seem to have a QB yet. Here’s to hoping I don’t have to copy/paste that in early October.

• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg visits Wisconsin and spends most of his space explaining why the Badgers can’t really complete a pass yet.

• Fox Sports’s Lisa Horne profiles incoming UCLA freshman QB Brett Hundley. Apparently, he has a magnificent smile.

• Don’t drop USC QB Matt Barkley‘s passes or run the wrong route. Just… don’t.

• Northwestern QB Dan Persa‘s achilles is coming along nicely. You know, for an achilles that completely exploded.

• New San Diego State coach Rocky Long isn’t a fan of Boise State’s blue turf. Boohoo.

• South Carolina hearts Phil Collins.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is proof that, even if you don’t like the Foo Fighters, a giant band playing in a random guy’s garage is always cool.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWciVk_-5eo

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Danny Pudi, whose Abed “character” admirably (and scientifically) calculated who was indeed the boss on “Who’s the Boss on last night’s Community. Play on, player. Play on.

*****

• The Pac-12 is having discussions with Fox, ESPN, NBC/Comcast, and Turner, with a figure of $2.3 buh-buh-billion dollars being thrown around for a ten year commitment. I’ll say it again, I’ll quit The Solid Verbal RIGHT NOW. No questions asked. If need be, I can even arrange the kidnapping of Ty. I can do it. Let’s do this thing.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd speaks with Penn State assistant Jay Paterno about the terrors 7-on-7 tournaments and its effect on recruiting. Of course there’s always possibility that the passing schemes at these camps overwhelm the Nittany Lion playbook.

• USC‘s got a whole lotta offensive line woes goin’ on.

• New Minnesota coach Jerry Kill is ruthless when comes to efficiency. The latest victim? The Killstache. RIP.

• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff previews tomorrow’s Ole Miss spring game.

• Aschoff does the same with Georgia, but with more allusions to moving violations.

• Tomorrow is a big Big East spring game day. Damn and it falls on the same calendar square as Dan Rubenstein Violent Nap Day.

• Wisconsin RB Zach Brown is an angry man, but in a good way. Like a dairy-fed Charles Bronson.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett interviews new Pitt coach Todd Graham. If you listen to yesterday’s show, you’ll be horrified at the statistics cited here.

• Five-star class of 2011 DT Delvon Simmons officially signed with Texas Tech after skipping out on North Carolina. He had long expressed a desire to play in a city a bit more nowheresy.

• As good as Alabama appears to look this fall, QB is still very much a question. As is, “How do we make this Brent Calloway story go away?”

• Fox Sports Ohio handicaps the Ohio State interim QB race. Jim Tressel appears to be covering up where he’s leaning.

• Vanderbilt OL coach Herb Hand CAN TAKE A HIT.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says Big 12 commissioner Dan Beebe is on the right path financially with the Big Twenelve.

• Texas A&M recruiting letters have, well, flair.

• EDSBS is raising money for an outstanding organization. If the mood strikes, stop by and help out.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is one of the better examples of everyone having an ability to do something outstanding. This girl sounds like animals. Her collection of birds is a revelation.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcVFM4X7OSg

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Ty and Dan talk with Rob Moseley from the Eugene Register-Guard about hangover effects after losing to Auburn, stigmas surrounding Chip Kelly’s offense, expectations for the offensive line, and Oregon’s chances of getting back to the BCS Championship.  Plus, Verballer e-mails and the triumphant return of Gentle Ben.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Reese Witherspoon, one time Stanford student. Perhaps she was bummed that we had Jeff Tedford on and had a glorious time talking Cal football. It’s fine, Reese, we know where your heart really is.

*****

• Michigan State OT Arthur Ray is again practicing after the 2007 removal of a cancerous tumor from his leg. We wish him many healthy pancakes.

• CBS’s Bryan Fischer visits Fort Worth to break down TCU’s revamped roster. I really did think the use of “revamped” would sound better than it did.

Speaking of which, take a look at TCU’s Rose Bowl ring. It’s essentially a bejeweled golf ball.

• Do you have the CBS Sports Network (formerly CBS College Sports)? Do you like Mountain West games? Have I got news for you!

• Bruins Nation breaks down the Pac-12 TV contract possibilities. Every single time the word “Fox” appears in print when people discuss this story, it bums me out just a little bit.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller has notes on Stanford’s defense. I couldn’t find anything on LB Chase Thomas practicing the ol’ fake knee injury. Look harder, Miller. Look harder.

• Yahoo!!!!’s Dr. Saturday turns his QB focus to Darron Thomas, booger-pick and all.

• ESPN’s David Ubben predicts the Big 12′s 1000-yd rushers. A Bryce Brown sighting!

• ESPN’s Chris Low does the same for the SEC, but only lists Alabama RB Trent Richardson at #2. Do you not understand that he may in fact be better than Mark Ingram? Sheesh.

• Cal WR Tevin Carter left the Bears and returned home, the assumption being that Carter has no interest in continuing a football career elsewhere.

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney talks spring football. And classic American hairstyles.

• Mr SEC has the details of alleged payments and inappropriate contact between an Alabama booster and LB signee Brent Calloway. Fun.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the fake Windows 7 commercial with a storm trooper.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr04FBKPS9E

Enjoy your Friday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Don Draper, since we won’t be seeing him for at least another year, damnit.

*****

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says Ohio State coach Jim Tressel is leaving his school few options in regards to his future. School president Gordon Gee might have to fire himself to avoid this.

• South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier was fake arrested last week at practice to prove a point. Wonderful.

• This is Alabama‘s newest defensive tackle. Man, I remember when I looked like that. Glad that’s all behind me.

• Texas Tech had a spring game. It looks like their #1 QB going into summer workouts is somebody named “Seth Doege,” which I will probably pronounce “dough-gee” until mid-October.

• The scuttlebutt is that ESPN’s Ted Miller picked the three best offensive and defensive players from each Pac-12 team and then listed them. The debates will never end from this one!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett had a conversation with Cincinnati coach Butch Jones. The key word here is “toughness,” which means not a lot of preparation went into this interview.

• It’s Alabama RB Trent Richardson’s time. Some say he’s better than their last running back who won a Heisman trophy and was consistently much more productive. Some say.

• Fox Sports West tries to look at the new position battles at USC, but the words “Kiffin” and “Barkley” appear more than anything else. Oh well, they tried.

• Miami OT Seantrel Henderson showed up last year weighing 385 lbs. The word “hero” is thrown around a lot these days, so I’ll just stick with “huge guy who seemed to care very little about his conditioning until now.”

• Central Michigan took a few steps back in 2010. Since I’m still almost positive some  disgruntled former Chippewa wrestlers stole my wireless microphone receiver in 2008, this doesn’t completely ruin my day. And yes, it IS all about me.

• Rivals’s Olin Buchanan previews Oregon’s spring. Apparently, they’re aiiiiiiigggggghhhhhttt.

• My boy Olin does the same for Washington and then two other Rivals writers look at Cincinnati and Maryland.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin and perennially injured RB Marc Tyler bickered back and forth about the cause of Tyler’s hamstring injury through an Orange County Register blog. Charming.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the easiest way to calm down a screaming baby … Norwegian Black Metal, duh.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=x01j3M3PrGk

Enjoy your Monday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Morehead State attendee and perennial game show host  Chuck Woolery. The Eagles are in the tournament and won’t stop breaking hearts until, well, possibly today.

*****

• CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd profiles Stanford QB Andrew Luck. What I learned: He’s seen ZZ Top LIVE, which only partially explains his neckbeard.

• Five-star UNC defensive tackle signee Delvon Simmons has officially been released from his scholarship and will transfer elsewhere. It’s almost as if taking an official visit to the school and meeting your position coach face to face is meaningful. Almost.

• The Pac-12 decided to welcome itself to college sports by filming a bouncy music video. It’s about as good/bad as you think it is.

• Alabama blog Roll Bama Roll previews the Tide’s defensive backfield. I’m guessing they’ll be just fine.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney previews Notre Dame’s spring, along with the springs of other notable non-BCS conference schools. Somebody had to.

• Oh like you’ve never tried to steal a bathing suit by wearing it under your pants? Ole Miss!

• Rivals previews Penn State. “Never count out a Paterno-coached team,” they say, which makes it easier to count out Penn State.

• Rivals also previews Syracuse. You don’t just ignore the Pinstripe Bowl champ, ok?

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Tom Green in Afghanistan. Bum.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLuHMB438gc

Enjoy your Thursday.

Follow me on Twitter.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Billy Crystal, esteemed NYU graduate. We all miss his hostmanship. One time, somebody misheard the name of the show as “The Solid Purple” and assumed we only covered NYU Violet sports. They don’t have a football team, but it’s still a pretty brilliant spinoff idea.

*****

• Sports Illustrated and CBS News published an investigation of the criminal histories of college football players. Apparently, a percentage of players have them.

EDSBS’s Spencer Hall reacts with questions about context. Pesky.

• ESPN radio host Colin Cowherd says a school (confirmed to him as Oregon) will be hit with major recruiting violations. CollegeFootballTalk says it’s not the Ducks.

• NFL agent Gary Wichard, who found himself at the center of last year UNC investigation, must turn over financial records to NCAA investigators, per a new search warrant.

• Oregon State WR James Rodgers had a second knee surgery. If you’re outside of the west coast, you’ve probably only seen him for a second and a half, and unfortunately, that may be all you get.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd profiles Oklahoma and Bob Stoops. Sorry, did that deserve “BREAKING” before it? I can never tell.

• ESPN‘s bloggers issue five (and only five) questions about the ACC, Big 12, and Pac-12 springs, respectively. But it’d be better if it was disrespectively.

• Former B1G Ten players participated in the NFL Scouting Combine. Here is a collection of numbers.

• ESPN’s Chris Low contends that SEC players in the Combine were fast. Low also comes to the defense of Nick Fairley. FINALLY!

• Fox Sports reviews the top 12 offseason QB battles. Information!

• Conference USA appears to be the prettiest girl at this week’s TV Rights Dance.

• Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday profiles Iowa RB Marcus Coker and also, reviews names to learn this spring.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart tries to make his way back into your heart by creating conference all-star staffs. I see no listing for a Steele, Lexington re: all-star staffs.

He also profiles Mississippi State and West Coast Kevin’s boy, Chris Relf.

• Paul Finebaum is photoshopped into Ghost molding the Nick Saban statue. Boom.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a dubbed Two a Half Men / Charlie Sheen interview mash-up.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtMSvZ7Mwow

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Follow me on Twitter here.

Ty and Dan talk with Clay Travis about Lane Kiffin, quarterbacks in the SEC, the bear population in Mississippi, and tattoos.  Plus, what the F is the Internet?

He is a graduate of the University of Ottowa and Today’s Chorus sponsor. Who is Alex Trebek? (see what I did there?)

*****

• Purdue WR Keith Smith has been denied a sixth year of eligibility.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall is terrified/mildly aroused (terrifoused?) at the new Nick Saban statue that will soon be found on Alabama’s campus.

• The Wall Street Journal is intrigued by SEC oversigning. My favorite sentence? “Sometimes, however, the math simply goes awry.”

• Michigan QB Denard Robinson appeared on Jeopardy! last night. For realsies.

• ESPN’s Chris Low reviews both the weekend and yesterday’s performance by the SEC at the NFL Scouting Combine. It all means very little.

• Ditto for ESPN’s Ted Miller and the Pac-12.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach (BAH) has eleven spring storylines to follow. It only involves noteworthy or recently successful teams. Amazing.

• Here’s a glance at Ole Miss‘s new mascot head. Tom Kite is already gushing over the headwear.

• Was Cam Newton in the room when Cecil Newton was allegedly recorded on tape talking about pricing? I have no idea.

• Stanford‘s just cruising along, thanks.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart puts together a (99% west coast-free!) dream team staff. His two DL dream team coaches were the front line of defenses that finished 7th in the Pac-10 and 7th in the SEC against the run last year. Wonderful.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Jimmy Kimmel guiding supremely attractive women onto exercise balls. And then they hump the balls.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKekcHMiVVg

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Sterling Mallory Archer. I know not of his formal education, I just know that he gave me the line “…like the Pelé of anal” and that’s more than enough.

*****
• An arrest was made after it was confirmed that somebody had poisoned the soil at Toomer’s Corner, the historic section of oak trees on Auburn‘s campus. Harvey Updyke, an Alabama fan who confirmed his responsibility on the Paul Finebaum Show, was arrested yesterday and held on a charge of criminal mischief.

Leaving voicemails for an Auburn turfgrass management professor’s also didn’t help Updyke’s cause.

SI’s Andy Staples explains why all college football fans should be concerned.

Here’s a candid shot.

• CBS’s Dennis Dodd looks at 25 things to watch this spring. I didn’t see NBC’s “Perfect Couples” listed anywhere here.

• Mark Cuban created an LLC to back up his plans to present an alternative to the current college football postseason. And now Oxford is involved, as in England Oxford.

• North Carolina fullback Devon Ramsay will be eligible to play in 2011 after playing only four games in 2010 before being suspended by the NCAA. Oh, and it appears he didn’t do anything wrong. Oops.

• ESPN’s bloggers have spring previews. I suspect the B1G Ten’s Adam Rittenberg may be getting paid by the bullet point.

B1G Ten — Legends and Leaders divisions.

Pac-12 — North and South divisions.

• The Big 12′s David Ubben looks at the conference’s QB situations.

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett speaks with West Virginia coach-in-waiting Dana Holgersen. You want goofy offensive coordinator smiles? Oh I GOT goofy smiles.

• Former Rutgers QB Tom Savage will now be known as current Arizona QB Tom Savage. A special note for Mr. Savage: The guy with the steaming face is your coach.

• Illinois’s Ron Zook and Boise State’s Chris Petersen now have something in common — they both got raises yesterday. This is the end of their venn diagram.

• Oregon RB Dontae Williams is opting to transfer. Williams redshirted in 2010. Worry not, Duck fans, the backfield goes about five-deep at the moment. Such problems…

• The NCAA isn’t just investigating Cam Newton‘s Auburn recruitment, but also the recruitment of OL Greg Robinson and WR Travon Reed, both of Thibodaux, LA. Tick tock…

• SB Nation’s Ted Glover speaks with new Minnesota coach Jerry Kill. KILLLLLL!!!!

• 247 Sports/SI.com has handpicked the first 5-star recruits of the 2012 class. It includes an “Andrus,” a “Dorial,” and a “Gunner.” NICE.

• Arizona State‘s first “Sparky” is a pretty excellent human being.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for “Arthur.” Katy Perry’s husband is involved.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtTVquZ2TFk

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan examine the strange case of “Al from Dadeville,” the ballad of Rick Neuheisel, and the various assistant coaching hires around the country.  Plus, listener messages.

A great commercial, now remixed with that special Al from Dadeville touch. Roll damn Tide!!

REEEEEEEEEEMIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by SI Swimsuit model, Mrs. Dan Rubenstein. Or Kate Upton. I um, er, uh, I just, I. Oh bother. Let’s just assume she’s interested in college football, ok?

*****

• UCLA hired a defensive coordinator. It’s former USF and Cincinnati DC Joe Tresey, who just happened to be coaching defensive backs for the UFL’s Omaha Nighthawks. Can somebody say “coaching pipeline?”

• EDSBS has a list of the 35 coaches Maryland REALLY wanted ahead of Randy Edsall. WARNING: Ruffin McNeill‘s Ass-Belly Sweat is a mental image that won’t soon leave you.

• USF coach Skip Holtz sat down with ESPN’s Brian Bennett for an extensive interview. I didn’t read it in its entirety, but to be safe, just assume that there are hidden messages in Holtz’s answers leading to buried treasure.

• ESPN’s Heather Dinich previews the spring for ACC teams in BOTH the Coastal and Atlantic divisions. Mid-February knowledge bombs aplenty.

• ESPN’s David Ubben does the same for the Big 12. With no byline, though, I can only presume… unless, oh no, WHERE’S HEATHER DINICH?!?!

• Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer hired son Shane Beamer to coach running backs. Here’s to hoping giant headphones get grandfathered in.

• Fox Sports’s Thayer Evans has a behind-the-scenes look at Jadeveon Clowney’s recruitment. I’ll save you some time, it’s mostly about Clowney’s nonstop drive to perform well on his AP tests.

• Randy Shannon politely declined an offer to become Maryland‘s defensive coordinator. Oh, and you WOULD pay $1.5 million for the right to call plays for the Terps?

• There’s a possibility that the 13 hospitalized Iowa players could transfer and play immediately in 2011. I’m sure if it comes to pass, coach Kirk Ferentz will try to convince them to stay … six days after they decide to leave.

• Auburn players offer only the most competitive rates for paper-writing. Good for them.

• Rivals’s Tom Dienhart lists the ten programs he’s most excited to see this spring. Rivals also has primers for each conference.

• Kegs ‘n Eggs has the spring schedules for everyone.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, at its essence, pure swagg.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4T__lCzZgk

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by South Carolina native Vanna White. I can’t imagine she’s happy after Jadeveon Clowney chose the Gamecocks over her own Atlanta Institute of Fashion. Also, White is only the sixth Chorus sponsor to have both “lesbian affair” and knitting” in the same Wikipedia “Personal Life” section.

*****

• Prized DE recruit Jadeveon Clowney announced that he will be attending South Carolina (over Alabama or Clemson) this fall. And 5-7 other yet-to-be-determined recruits will be told they’ll be leaving on their own accord soon. Exciting times!

Oh, and there are eligibility questions.

Yahoo!!!!!’s Dr. Saturday looks at where this puts South Carolina.

Who wrote about Clowney committing to a sandwich? I’ll tell you who — Spencer Hall of EDSBS, that’s who! Oh ok, that makes sense.

• Arizona State RB Deantre Lewis was shot this past weekend, but apparently avoided any serious injury. That’s a pretty great second part of a sentence to write.

• The Pac-12 has hired former VP of Officiating for the NFL Mike Pereira to overhaul their officiating program. Pac-12 officiating blogs are collectively abuzz.

• 2010 was awful for Texas. Important people anonymously tell us what happened. And now there are MS Paint penises to show you the Longhorns’ offseason in detail. Of course there are.

• ESPN’s bloggers compile valentines to various teams from readers. I’m operating under the assumption that most of the Big East entries are written by made-up people.

Similarly, from the bloggers themselves, there are also valentines and  heartbreakers . Get it? HAHAHAHAH kinda.

• Seattle Seahawks secondary coach Jerry Gray signed with Texas in the same capacitiy for a bit, but has now left to become the DC for the Tennessee Titans. In response, recently-hired Arizona DB coach Duane Akina is going back to Texas to coach the secondary, the same position he held last year. Hurray!

• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema is officially getting paid. The right way.

• The latest from the Sam Keller/EA Sports lawsuit. Ty is expected to be brought to the stand to complain about Not Jeremiah Masoli‘s presence on the Oregon roster in the 2011 incarnation.

• Phil Steele has a Top 10 for 2011. It seems like just yesterday that he was the only forecaster with Oregon out of the top 60 before their 2009 Pac-10 championship season and Rose Bowl run. I may have stammered and argued poorly, but I won!!

• The Wiz has an excellent new unsanctioned Mississippi State billboard.

• Do you want to see Justin Bieber answer his phone after his MIke Gundy ringtone goes off? I kinda did.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Weezer performing the full State Farm Insurance song. And it’s probably better than most of their last three albums.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaaHevyxvvA

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Brooklyn Decker, whose husband is a Nebraska fan. The B1G Ten just got an attractiveness boost!

*****

• The NCAA Rules Committee is recommending new rules. You know now that I think about it, I was having a little too much time watching college football.

• EDSBS’s Spencer Hall helps Jadeveon Clowney pick a school. All class, all the time, that Hall.

• SmartFootball’s Chris Brown looks at red-zone options for pass first, airraid offenses. Smart.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller gets a Colorado primer from ESPN’s David Ubben. Writing “Colorado primer” makes me think it’s either a crazy sexual act or the best sandwich nobody’s heard of.

• ESPN’s Ubben also speaks with Big 12 (10) commissioner Dan Beebe. He never mentions Ty’s sound effect. Weak.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples writes that high school football 7on7 camps and tournaments are inching closer and closer to basketball’s AAU system. But with pink socks.

• SportsbyBrooks reviews Alabama LB/asst head coach Sal Sunseri‘s recruiting techniques.

KTBS (Shreveport) reporter Rick Rowe produced a four-part special on the recruitment of DE prospect Jermauria Rasco (featuring Sunseri).

• Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt definitely doesn’t oversign recruiting classes. Oh wait, I wrote that sentence incorrectly. Can YOU figure out where?

• Unless he gets PAID to play baseball, Nebraska QB signee Bubba Starling plans to play football. Sounds about right.

• A caller to Paul Finebaum‘s radio show was having a heart attack while he called. Probably over Kenneth Cole’s spring line.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a nine year old from Tanzania recapping “Commando.” Only way it should be.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLix4QPL3tY

Enjoy your Friday.

Ty and Dan are joined by Andy Staples to discuss recruiting wars in the SEC, the re-emergence of Florida State, and God’s Power Offor’s other profession.  Plus, a full boat of Verballer e-mails from the last few weeks.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Chris Farley, who apparently loved the Green Bay Packers. And Paul McCartney.

*****

• Top OT recruit Cyrus Kouandjio signed with Alabama after all. Auburn fans are claiming recruiting shenanigans, which is funny because Auburn fans are claiming recruiting shenanigans.

This includes the daughter of former Auburn coach Pat Dye, who herself was active on Kouandjio’s Facebook page. Classy.

• ESPN’s Desmond Howard and CBS’s Phil Simms had to separated over Simms’s anger over Howard’s tweets re: Simms’s son, Tennessee QB Matt Simms. It’s all very exciting.

• According to ESPN’s Joe Schad, former Michigan QB Tate Forcier is down to five lucky schools. It’s like The Bachelor but with an undersized, overrated, pouty QB.

• Nebraska is trying to hire former QB and current Oregon WR coach Scott Frost to an open offensive coaching position. He’s apparently well-liked by Huskers coach Bo Pelini, which seems to make him the only one right now.

• There are new assistants in the B1G Ten. Rejoice!

• Touted Florida QB recruit Jacoby Brissett made a decision (Florida) and faxed in his LOI. Beeeeeee dooooooooo buuunnnnnn bunnn krrrrrrrrrrr shhhhhhhhhh. That’s what a fax machine kind of sounds like.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel tries to figure out what exactly Alabama coach Nick Saban is talking about when he addresses the Tide’s funny little oversigning habit.

• Some Ole Miss fans aren’t giving up the Colonel Reb fight. And they’ve taken to the streets! Ok, billboards.

• USC DL coach Ed Orgeron is the subject of an NCAA investigation. Of all the coaching staffs of all the teams in college football…

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Christina Aguilera’s Super Bowl national anth. What? If she can skip parts, so can I.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=byWqsfP1eKo

Enjoy your Monday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Oklahoma alumnus Olivia Munn. I could be wrong, but head to head, I’m going with the Sooner recruiting class of 2011 to outlast Munn’s NBC show, “Perfect Couples.”

*****

• Rich Rodriguez talks about his time in Ann Arbor with CBS’s Dennis Dodd. If you can believe it, he’s a bit defensive. See what I did there? Nailed it.

• Alabama had a dance team girl retrieve faxed-in letters of intent during Alabama’s live video stream Wednesday. She was wearing her uniform and is attractive. Dun dun DUN.

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini celebrated the Huskers’ great class on Signing Day by not holding a press conference and getting rid of some the staff members that brought in the 2011 class. Buzzkill.

• Florida QBs Trey Burton and Jordan Reed are no longer QBs in OC Charlie Weis’s offense.

• Undecided QB recruit Jacoby Brissett (West Palm Beach, FL) is rumored to be announcing for Florida tonight. And he would be a QB in OC Charlie Weis‘s offense.

• UCLA QB Kevin Prince is still hurt. I copy/pasted that sentence from an item in October.

• The list of players invited to the NFL Combine has been released. Upon first glance, I noticed the oversight of no Lafayette Leopards. They’ll make you pay, NFL, they’ll make you pay.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers analyze the recruiting cycle for the various teams and conferences they cover. I now know BYU has an incoming OT named Ryker Mathews, who is now my favorite incoming BYU OT.

• ESPN’s Mark Schlabach has updated his too-early Top 25 after Signing Day. We can now all exhale.

• ESPN/ABC analyst Bob Griese retired from broadcasting after a 30 year career calling games. Now it’s just time to relax and enjoy life. And tacos.

• Touted 2011 OT recruit Cyrus Kouandjio still doesn’t know where he’s going to sign. I say we give the kid a break — have you ever had ONLY two years to make A decision. Exactly, back off.

• SB Nation’s Holly Anderson (Peete) looks at how the roster of new coaches fared on their first Signing Day.

• The Class of 2011 is soooooo earlier this week. SB Nation’s Andy Hutchins looks to 2012.

• Auburn has behind-the-scenes video from Wednesday. Gene Chizik is a RIOT.

• Ditto for Illinois, though it appears there may have been technological snafus. Yeah, I said “snafus.”

• New SDSU coach Rocky Long is not a fan of BYU.

• Mitch Mustain will NOT be charged with selling prescription narcotics. Whew.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a guy wakeboarding through cranberries. Damnit, now I need some Ocean Spray.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGf6earGAOc

Enjoy your Friday.

Because it’s much easier to just list things than figuring out a cohesive narrative, I organized a chaotic National Signing Day into three thoroughly unoriginal categories.

The Good

Florida State
Certain words come to mind when looking at the players Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher signed, but I’ll go with “unfair.” Depth on both lines has been exponentially secured for years to come and speed has been added to both the offensive and defensive backfields to further load (all from FL) what looks to be the ACC Atlantic division favorite for years to come. Despite all of this, the first thing I think about? E.J. Manuel better not screw this up.

Isiah Crowell
What’s better than announcing your commitment to the big school in your home state (Georgia)? Doing it with a puppy, that’s what. Shrewd.

Urban Meyer
Here’s what we want from our analysts – homework, opinions, and an ability to articulate both of these things in a clear, concise manner. Urban Meyer intimately knew what he was talking about (having recruited most of the prospects he spoke of), took clear positions, and seemed natural doing so 4-5 hours into an all-day broadcast.

USC
There are a lot of reasons why USC is an attractive place to play – location, opportunity, academics, tradition, and exposure come to mind. I’m not sure the promise of development, college coaching success, and program stability fall into that list, which is why the Trojans nabbing ten Rivals 100 players is all the more impressive. Somebody smarter than I now needs to place all this potential in “Potential Transfers,” “Potential Troublemakers,” and “Potential Somehow Reached” columns.

DeAnthony Thomas
Come on, you had to be expecting this here.

This VW Commercial
I saw it yesterday, so it counts.

The Bad

Iron Bowl Pressures
Noted prospects Brent Calloway (OLB) and Cyrus Kouandjio (OT) struggled with their decisions between Alabama and Auburn (and possibly New Mexico or Iowa in Cyrus K’s case) to the point that Calloway had to go into hiding before announcing (Alabama) and Kouandjio developed a nervous tick and couldn’t sleep in the days leading up to Signing Day. I’m assuming the daily phone calls from coaches and ‘round-the-clock harassment from competing fanbases didn’t particularly help. Cut to Kouandjio, despite announcing for Auburn, not sending in his letter of intent, as he remains unsure.

Savon Huggins + Michael Eubank
Two dumb announcement strategies (Huggins to Rutgers, Eubank to ASU) — picking up a hat and either putting it on or almost putting it on before deciding to don another school’s headwear. Weak.

Rick Neuheisel
Go to UCLA. Walk around campus any time of the year. If Rick Neuheisel can’t attract (alleged) top football talent to either stay home in LA or come to LA anymore, he’s doing it wrong. Well, he’s doing it wrong.

Class Rankings
A constant focus of the coverage, even though it’s impossible to realistically compare one group to another when schools have such varying recruiting styles and needs. The silver lining here is almost everyone agreed on a mix of the three or five schools who brought in the most bountiful haul. Even CBS’s Tom Lemming finally put his long-known Notre Dame bias behind him and agreed that … oh jeez, did he really do this again?

License Plate Decisions
Todd Peat, a defensive tackle from Arizona, who by all means may be a terrific human being, chose Nebraska over Arizona State after spotting a Nebraska license plate in his home state, which he interpreted as a sign to choose the Huskers over the hometown Sun Devils. This begs the question — how did he not see Arizona plates in Tempe???

The Uncomfortable

A Different Chris Carter

Ohio State received one less letter of intent than expected after giant OL recruit Chris Carter was arrested for “sexual imposition,” allegedly lying to girls about measuring them for ROTC uniforms. Excuse me, THE “sexual imposition.”

Mitch Mustain, Amateur Pharmacist
Well, that ends that story. Mitch Mustain: Signing Day to Signing Day.

Hokeriguez
Rich Rodriguez took part in an interview of new Michigan coach Brady Hoke. I couldn’t have been the only one to hear the Curb your Enthusiasm theme in the back of my head while watching this, right?

*****
Follow me on Twitter at @Dan_Rubenstein.

Ty and Dan re-examine the Michigan coaching situation, as well as delve into the world of early draft entries and unruly players. Plus, voice messages and an overflowing e-mail inbox.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NBC News’s Chris Hansen, a proud Michigan State graduate who takes down pedophiles. I assume he was too busy trapping horrible people to watch the Capitol One Bowl. Speaking of pedophiles…

*****

• Charlie Weis is Florida’s new offensive coordinator. Brace yourself for eight solid months of people overanalyzing that sentence.

Oh and Seattle Seahawks DL coach Dan Quinn takes over the other side of the ball as Florida‘s defensive coordinator.

• UConn coach Randy Edsall is now Maryland coach Randy Edsall. It’s not a “splash hire” nearly as much as it is a leaf gently swaying in the wind before it delicately slides into place atop a silent pond.

• The team favored to win the Rose Bowl … won the Rose Bowl.

• Alabama got healthy and promptly beat up on Michigan State. Circle of life.

• New Pitt coach Mike Haywood is now former Pitt coach Mike Haywood (undefeated!) after he was charged with domestic violence.

• Clemson coach Dabo Swinney has fired two offensive coaches after noticing that his team was sans football-moving abilities.

• Ohio St QB Terrelle Pryor has made an enemy in ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit. And that would be after Pryor received three moving violations in three shady loaner car deals. And a shady tattoo investigation. And breaking NCAA rules for selling jerseys and awards. Well played.

• Penn State QB Robert Bolden is joining Penn State QB Kevin Newsome on the transfer train. Prospects take note — it’s a good idea to actually take into account what type of offense is run at your school of choice.

• UConn RB Jordan Todman, the nation’s second leading rusher, declared for the NFL Draft. Sounds about right.

• UCF got a little punchy before during the on-field Liberty Bowl celebration.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have Orange Bowl previews, keys, and more!. Huzzah!

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall channels his inner Jim Delaney in reviewing the Big 10‘s Saturday performance. It’s not pretty.

And then the real Jim Delaney channeled his inner Jim Delaney.

• SI.com’s Andy Staples says Michigan‘s Gator Bowl performance against Mississippi State should spell the end of days for Rich Rodriguez.

• The Wiz has front pages from newspapers from around the country. I checked, he didn’t get any Beetle Bailey screencaps. Bah.

• BCS TV ratings are either amazing or horrible.

• If you attended the TicketCity Bowl, you probably had awesome seats.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is polar bears playing with spy cameras. Obviously.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT0O2RyxnkY

Enjoy your Monday + Orange Bowl!

Ty and Dan discuss coaching moves at Maryland, Pittsburgh and (potentially) Michigan and haphazardly offer grades for various bowl teams.  Plus, previews for the remaining seven games, including the BCS Championship.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Navy alumnus David Robinson. How crazy is it that he both attended the Naval Academy AND is nicknamed “The Admiral”? Sometimes life just gets it right.

*****

• Boise State didn’t have much trouble with whatever it was that Utah became/always was. Now we can all look forward to an offseason filled with SEC fans once again labeling them as fraudulent and undeserving because they occasionally lose to a ranked team on the road. The horror!

• Boise State WR Austin Pettis passed it to himself. So there.

• Ohio State suspended six players for the first five games of 2011 for selling off their awards and rings. The names may sound familiar — Terrelle Pryor, Devier Posey, Dan Herron, Mike Adams, and Solomon Thomas.

• Temple has hired former Florida OC Steve Addazio to replace Al Golden as head coach. What? Oh right, they’re Temple.

• San Diego State is scheduled to play Navy tonight in San Diego’s Qualcomm Stadium for the Poinsettia Bowl. Oh and because of heavy rain for a week straight in southern California, Qualcomm Stadium is a kiddie pool. Fun!

• Soon to be former Florida coach Urban Meyer met with ESPN and did a little on-camera work yesterday. If he ends up there in some capacity, I expect one, and only one, fake laugh to be required in his contract.

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson tells anybody who will listen what the keys are and what to watch for in tonight’s muddy Poinsettia Bowl. You can take her knowledge to the bank. Or the San Diego County Credit Union, as it were.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers select a team from their respective conferences that needs to “step up.” It’s only a normal “step up” demand, not a full-on “step up 2 the streets” situation.

• Soon to be former Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen wants to coach in 2011. The whole “2010 ACC Coach of the Year” thing is, at the very least, something that will only be seen on his resumé and cover letter.

• In preparation for El Paso’s Sun Bowl, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly confiscated the passports of his players, due to the proximity of Ciudad Juarez, the nearby Mexican border town whose biggest cultural highlight is still ruthless drug-fueled murder.

• Alabama is upgrading the facilities at the high school they’ll use to practice at in preparation for the Capital One Bowl. Oh and hey, look at that, the #1 safety prospect in the 2011 class (and Alabama commit) goes there. Rad.

• Georgia WR AJ Green denied a report that he’s already decided to forego his senior year and enter the NFL Draft. Which he definitely will do.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the trailer for Cedar Rapids, which looks to bring together Ed Helms, John C. Reilly, and State Senator Clay Davis.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJqFUWbITug

Enjoy your Thursday + muddy San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl!

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Mila Kunis. The Hawaii bowl is this week, so this picture seems appropriate. It appears that she briefly attended UCLA, but she’s mainly here because, well, she’s Mila Kunis.

*****

• At this point isn’t it more of story when the teams going to the Las Vegas Bowl don’t brawl?

• Notre Dame QB Dayne Crist “isn’t going anywhere.” Of course not, he has the knees of an 86 year old.

• BYU coach Bronco Mendenhall wasn’t thrilled with the BYU offense this season, and thus, the offensive coaching staff will soon become the former offensive coaching staff.

• Want to sound moderately informed when somebody asks you about tonight’s Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersberg Bowl? Really? That’s kind of a weird thing to pride yourself on, but if so, read what ESPN’s Brian Bennett and Andrea Adelson have to say.

• Alabama coach Nick Saban is telling his best juniors to think twice about the NFL Draft. There he goes again, that Saban, looking out for the best interest of others without a single speck of selfishness to be found.

• ESPN’s Pat Forde lays out his bowl picks, making it quite simple to win a lot of money by going against his blind stabs supported with limited useful reason.

• Yahoo!!!!!! lists their top 10 college football stories of the year. Les Miles‘s name doesn’t appear once, proving that this list is completely fraudulent.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is Conan spending time with Hunter S. Thompson on Conan’s old show. It’s as good as you think it is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNEImAIM4L4

Enjoy your Tuesday Beef ‘O’ Brady’s.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Legends of the Hidden Temple, a show that obviously foretold Big Ten happenings years into the future. Spooky.

*****

—Join The Solid Verbal Bowl Pick ‘Em Here—

• LSU discovered some LSU violations and have punished themselves. Raise your hand if you thought nonsensical offensive playcalling was an actual violation. Who knew?

• ESPN’s Andrea Adelson tells you all you need to know about this weekend’s bowl action — New Mexico, New Orleans, and the uSomething Humanitarian.

• There may be upwards of … wait for it … thousands of people attending the New Mexico Bowl.

• The Big Ten may be willing to take back that whole “Legends” and “Leaders” thing. And I suppose we’re all just supposed to pretend that this magical week never happened, right? Psh.

• Former Tennessee freshman All-American OT Aaron Douglas will play at Alabama in 2011. And just like that, Alabama FINALLY catches a break on the recruiting trail.

• West Virginia AD Oliver Luck likes head coach Bill Stewart but he doesn’t like like him.

• Rutgers DT Eric LeGrand, who was paralyzed in an October game, now has some feeling in his hands. This is outstanding.

• SB Nation kindly asks that you sidle up to the Week 1 Bowl Buffet.

• BCS Director Bill Hancock doesn’t see Mark Cuban ending the BCS. SI.com’s Andy Staples thinks Cuban is on the right track.

•••••

Today’s Video of the Day honors tomorrow’s New Mexico Bowl by celebrating the legacy of college football coverage in the “Land of Enchantment” by honoring Rob Stone’s classic descent into pepper hell.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvK2Y1hv9mY

Enjoy your Friday + Bowl Weekend.

Ty and Dan talk about Cam Newton’s miserable Heisman speech and the Big Ten’s laughable press conference before bringing Andy Staples back to discuss all the coaching moves in the world of college football.

Ty and Dan review a handful of conference championship games and dissect a bunch of projected bowl pairings.

Ty and Dan take a look at the NCAA’s ruling on Cam Newton, TCU’s move to the Big East, E. Gordon Gee’s stupid comments, and the Miami coaching vacancy.  Plus, Verballer voice messages, e-mails and locks of the week.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Anne Hathaway. She’s in a new movie (allegedly nekkid) that got bad reviews, is apparently hosting an awards show that nobody watches anymore (Because she’s funny! Really!), and received a completely fraudulent Vassar education (another school without a football program). Still, she seems attractive.

*****

• The NCAA, if you can believe it, swiftly declared Cam Newton eligible shortly after Auburn declared him ineligible (pending an NCAA decision). In a statement, the NCAA said, “Screw it, he can play!!”

SI.com’s Andy Staples explains how the Cam Newton case has thrown the spotlight on a giant eligibility loophole. Middle men (and women) rejoice!!

Fanhouse’s Clay Travis spoke with SEC commissioner Mike Slive.

Yahoo!!!!!!’s Dan Wetzel chatted with longtime college basketball, uh, power person Sonny Vaccaro about Cam Newton. Vaccaro: “That’s the most amazing thing I’ve heard in over four decades of being around college and high school sports.”

SportsbyBrooks, as always, does a great job of analyzing the revelations.

• In more important news, Utah is going to the MAACO Las Vegas Bowl. The bowl is also apparently shooting for Boise State. A round of cheap car paint for everyone!!

• Colorado interviewed Alabama OC Jim McElwain for its open head coaching job. It may just be enough that he can lead a team to a 24-7 lead.

• BYU‘s going bowling in New Mexico. And they’re happy to do it. Polite arguments over red and green chiles loom.

• Just to be clear, Mike Leach would be perfectly happy accepting the Minnesota job.

• Nike founder Phil Knight is quite pleased with the Oregon football team. Dun dun DUNNNNNNNN!!

• Admissions of jackassery are always welcome here. Today’s edition: Ohio State president Elwood Gordon Gee.

• LSU coach Les Miles isn’t saying much about OC Gary Crowton’s status for next season. Tough when your mouth is full of fresh mower trimmings.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers demand you watch for certain things and predict some outcomes. If you read these items closely, look for one link on one of these pages that links to the filthiest pornography you’ll ever see.

• Yahoo!!!!!!’s Tom Dienhart looks at whether title games are good, bad, or ugly. You see what I did there? Boosh.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is the story of Moe Norman, the greatest golfer I’ve never heard of, as told by a Scottish bartender.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu6FvJy7deM

Enjoy your Thursday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Top Chef host (new season starts tonight) and Clark University alumnus Padma Lakshmi. Clark doesn’t have a football program, but damnit, just look at her.

*****

• Jon Gruden will apparently meet with Miami AD Kirby Hocutt today. I’m still not sure this happens and isn’t just a leverage ploy for an NFL job, but hey, I’m only ALWAYS right*.

*Except when I’m wrong.

• Donald Trump sent Miami president Donna Shalala another note recommending Mike Leach. Also, Mike Leach is recommending Mike Leach.

• Washington State coach Paul Wulff isn’t sure if he’ll be back next season. It’s hard to tell — you know, because of the continued losing — but WSU has actually gotten better and could come close to a bowl next year. This makes me think that thse school is ready to scrap the whole thing and start over.

• Texas A&M has accepted a bid to play in the Cotton Bowl, where, presumably, they’d play Alabama or LSU and Colby Caillet will awkwardly serenade Mike Sherman. To honor the Aggies’ improved 2010 bowl bid, I’m wearing a regular ol’ t-shirt.

• More on USC student-agent Teague Egan (real name!) from The Wiz. Try making it through this without throwing up a little in your mouth. You don’t win a prize, but you do get the satisfaction of knowing a little bit of your soul has been chipped away.

• Nevada lost some dollars by beating Boise State.

• Clemson QB Kyle Parker will play in the Tigers’ bowl game. Not sure what Clemson did to deserve this, but take the information as you will.

• Florida‘s had a bad year. In all of it is proudly edited together here.

• Air Force coach Troy Calhoun isn’t interested in the Colorado job. And if Colorado hires former coach Bill McCartney, it will appear as if the school isn’t interested either.

• Florida State improved because it’s big dudes are good. OL Rodney Hudson is one of those big dudes.

• Illinois QB Nathan Scheelhaase is a redshirt freshman and isn’t completely horrible.

• The All-Mountain West teams are out and they’re … pretty much what you’d expect.

• USC coach Lane Kiffin says QB Matt Barkley will play against UCLA and points out that anonymous Pac-10 coaches are rooting for him against UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel.

• SB Nation’s Jon Bois takes to hating and appreciating kickers.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel has bowl projections. I totally called Texas A&M to the Cotton Bowl a few items up!

• If Auburn doesn’t make QB Cam Newton available to the media ahead of the Saturday’s SEC championship, they’ll be fined. So weird to think about Auburn having to pay for Cam Newton. Hm.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day features people getting hurt and humiliated in amusing fashion.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDg7CiHAPqg

Enjoy your Wednesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Clemson alumnus and new Entertainment Tonight host Nancy O’Dell. There’s no way she’s happy about the way Kyle Parker’s season turned out, but she’ll be excited to learn that I saw her a few years ago at an outdoor mall and she was very perdy.

*****

• Boise State kicker Kyle Brotzman is getting harassed by Bronco fans. Good to know people are taking time out of their day to try to make a guy feel worse about something that’s going to haunt him forever. I’m fine with the offenders being forced to watch Chris Peterson sign a gigantic contract with Michigan on a 110″ TV on an endless loop.

Or perhaps I’ve said too much.

(But kudos to these people)

• Nebraska may play two quarterbacks against Oklahoma on Saturday. And if neither of them are a healthy Taylor Martinez, it’s not going to be so good.

• Ahead of Saturday’s SEC championship game, South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia is dinged up to the point that the game can’t currently be wagered on.

• EDSBS’s Doug Gillett grades this week’s championship games in this week’s CFB Buyer’s Guide.

• Could Temple coach Al Golden be the next coach at Vanderbilt? The Tennesseean seems to think that he maybe kinda sorta is being considered.

• Clemson QB Kyle Parker is pretty much dunzo***.

***Copyright: Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County.

• This year’s All-Big Ten teams were announced. Yeah, I know, I spit out my coffee too.

• ESPN’s Ted Miller calmly explains why Stanford is better than you think they are. I happen to agree, but Ted left out the jam-packed stadium and hordes of attractive females. Oh wait.

• Alabama fired the employees responsible for playing “Son of a Preacher Man” and “Take the Money and Run” before the Auburn game (for Cam Newton). The good news, of course, is Alabama has never and will never be caught paying for recruits. Never ever ever.

• Is there a single person responsible for the continued growth and presence of the BCS? Brooks from, you guessed it, SportsbyBrooks says indeed there is.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day ESPN’s Erin Andrews giving you a tour of the Gameday bus. I thought Corso’s sex swings were unnecessary, but hey, you can’t judge. (via Hot Clicks)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NnMGsz9ZU4

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Vanilla Ice. I have no idea if he’s a fan of Miami football and/or Randy Shannon, but I can no longer hear anyone say “A1A” without yelling out, “Beachfront Avenue!!!” so I’m sliding him in today.

*****

• TCU is joining the Big East and it will join in all sports (after the 2011-12 academic year). It’s about time -- Coach Gary Patterson can finally tell Texas kids they’ll get to play on Thursday nights in Piscataway, NJ. Where do I sign?

• Miami fired coach Randy Shannon and won’t hire Jon Gruden. Unless they will, which they almost certainly will not.

• Michigan AD Dave Brandon is yet to evaluate coach Rich Rodriguez’s performance, but will do so in about a month. Most important Insight Bowl ever?

• The newest BCS standings are out. Northern Illinois is ranked higher than Florida, Texas, USC, and Georgia.

• Florida DL coach and former Iowa State head coach Dan McCarney is the new head coach at North Texas. Always happy for a “Dan” getting hired.

• You know how Ty and have said that Nebraska‘s fanbase was probably the nicest, most respectful fan base in college football? Well, they’re no longer making the rest of us look bad anymore — I present to you … Nebraska psychopaths!!

• The American Football Coaches Association has an All-American team. I bet they also have delicious pot lucks, go-kart races, and crazy slumber parties with scary stories. Or I’m just imagining that. But yeah right, it’s pretty much true.

• Cal DL coach Tosh Lupoi was suspended for instructing a player to fake an injury against Oregon. Because position coaches going rogue and instituting an individual position game plan without consulting anyone else sounds complete plausible. Mr. Lupoi, here comes the bus, we’re just going to give you a light shove and be on our way.

• Indiana coach Bill Lynch was fired and is now just plain ol’ citizen Bill Lynch.

• Vanderbilt coach Robbie Caldwell will step aside now that his interim year has concluded. That sound you’re hearing is some very excited (or terrified) turkeys.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will fix the Gators by recruiting “tough” players. He then added, “What? Coach Addazio has a lot of heavy furniture that’s not just going to move itself out of the building.”

• USC coach Lane Kiffin explains how USC did what Tulsa couldn’t — lose to Notre Dame.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers have some especially powerful power rankings and particularly project-y bowl projections. Whatever, you try thinking of two different adjectives to use in a sentence.

• Oklahoma State CB Brodrick Brown played a little game against Oklahoma called “just the tip.” Oh wait, I see what I did there.

• Florida DB Dee Finley has some constructive criticism for Gator fans. And by “constructive,” I mean “thoroughly misspelled demands of mass suicide.”

• Oregon State DT Stephen Paea has power running through his veins. Oh and lots and lots of cortisone.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel looks at new money in his newest College Football Overtime. ***Spoiler*** Texas is old money.

• The Wiz has the snapshots of the week. A disappointed fan in full-costume is featured, which is obviously the best kind of disappointed fan.

• An Auburn fan, celebrating the Tigers’ Iron Bowl win, tackled a snowman, and then did a dainty little celebration. I’m as surprised as you are. (via edsbs)

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is, well, I really have no idea what is or what happens, but it’s right below this sentence.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC60iSTUmRE

Enjoy your Monday.

Ty and Dan break down a wild weekend that saw a monster upset by Nevada, a triumphant victory for Auburn, and a defining loss for Rich Rodriguez against Ohio State.  Plus, wackiness in the Big 12, closure in the ACC, and a host of listener Reverbs.

Ty and Dan deliver a super-sized episode, chock full of analysis for all the week’s biggest rivalries, listener e-mails and voice messages.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by legendary horse trainer and Arizona graduate (Major: Race Track Industry!) Bob Baffert, though I have no idea if he follows college football and has a horse in the race when it comes to Friday’s game at Oregon. You see what I did there? Comedy.

*****

• Nebraska coach Bo Pelini apologized for his behavior and confirmed Taylor Martinez’s continued presence on the Huskers. He reiterated, “NBgHJ RN3GL JDaF K77GN&#*@3&* %&#$@(adf*#@!!”

• An Indiana prosecutor is investigating a sexual assault claim against a Notre Dame football player by a woman who died in early September in an apparent suicide.

• Oregon RB LaMichael James left the Cal game with an apparent leg injury and appeared on crutches in a walking boot post-game. He apparently practiced full-go yesterday and should be fine against Arizona on Friday. Upon hearing the news, Cal DT Aaron Tipoti instinctively fell to the ground.

• Stanford’s Andrew Luck, Boise State’s Kellen Moore, and Auburn’s Cam Newton are your Davey O’Brien Award finalists. All well and good, but who’s up for this year’s Ken O’Brien? Oh, it appears to be only Garrett Gilbert.

• Speaking of which, Wisconsin RB John Clay, despite managing only 42 rushing yards (due to injury) in November, is a Doak Walker Award finalist. CBS Sports’s Adam Jacoby (correctly) takes issue.

• EDSBS’s Doug Gillett prefers to disagree with you regarding the biggest college football rivalries.

• ESPN’s Gameday will be in Stillwater for Saturday’s Bedlam game, forgoing the excellent idea to have Lt. Jim Dangle be the celebrity picker at Boise State/Nevada on Friday.

• The LA Times’ TJ Simers says it’s not looking good for UCLA OC Norm Chow. But Rick Neuheisel is doing a bang-up job!!

• ESPN’s Brian Bennett compares Pitt RB Dion Lewis to West Virginia RB Noel Devine, two backs who have fallen in line with the Big East’s library-quiet presence this season.

• Boston College RB Montel Harris, the Eagles’ one offensive bright spot, could be out 3-6 weeks with torn meniscus. Plug in Kuechly!!

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers rewind and fast forward. Because they’ve done so every week and it’s why they get paid Cecil Newton money.

• Want to see this week’s most famous golf cart? Of course you kind of do! (Impressive upholstery)

• Arizona will be down a receiver (suspension) for Friday’s Oregon game. And so will Oregon (injury). Both rock solid names, though.

• Oregon‘s building a new HQ for its football program. It’s expected to be inexpensive, modest, and devoid of any flash. Ahem.

• SB Nation’s Spencer Hall (SVBFF) goes A through Y, and then just for kicks, goes to Z in this week’s Alphabetical. I enjoyed you best, Yale.

• Similarly, SB Nation’s Brian Cook (SVBFF) tackles some schadenfraude.

• SI.com’s Cory McCartney casts an updated Heisman vote because … actually, I really have no idea why.

• This week’s college football lines. Las Vegans (word?) seem to like the Crimson Tide of Alabama.

• This week’s screengrabs of the week (via The Wiz).

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is almost guaranteed to make you a vegetarian (if yesterday’s didn’t) or some sort of bloodthirsty maniac. It’s essentially every kind of edible animal combined to form a delicious super-meal called TurBaconEpic. With extra bacon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xc5wIpUenQ

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Ty and Dan talk about LSU’s close call, Nebraska’s dud, a potential Wisconsin-Stanford Rose Bowl, and the ongoing Dillon Baxter Experiment at USC.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by former Georgia State student Julia Roberts. Alabama may have the money, championships, tradition, and name recognition, but they don’t have the star of “Eat Pray Love.” Take that, Tide. Take that.

*****

• UCLA lost at Washington last night in a rather unimpressive showing. UCLA fans, much like Sammi Sweetheart, are DONE.

• Alabama mercilessly tickled first-year team Georgia State last night. Good for you, Alabama, finally standing up for the big guy.

• Due to safety issues, only one end zone will be used during Saturday’s Northwestern/Illinois tilt. This only adds to the rumors of an all-time QB and six-Mississippi count being instituted for the game. Here are similar jokes.

• Hawaii is probably becoming a Mountain West football school and joining something called the Big West in other sports. This appears to be the final nail in WAC Commissioner Karl Benson‘s “2010 Sportsman of the Year” coffin.

• Florida coach Urban Meyer will be back in 2011. Apparently this is an actual story. Also an actual story — Appalachian State runs Urban Meyer’s offense … and plays Urban Meyer this weekend.

• USC RB Dillon Baxter was hospitalized for an “unspecified illness and dehydration.” We hope he has a speedy recovery from whatever it is that’s NEVER dehydration.

• Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen will be back next season coaching the Terps. I’ll file this under “Interesting CFB Story that isn’t Cam Newton/BCS,” as that’s where everyone else seems to be filing things.

• Boise State play Georgia at the Georgia Dome to open the 2011 season. Since it seems so far away, the only real effect this has is to remind me that there’s no Chick fil-A nearby. Thanks a lot, guys.

• ESPN’s CFB bloggers select their conference’s best rivalry of the decade. Not a surprise to be found here.

• The Oregonian’s Ken Goe says Mike Bellotti can do a lot better than Colorado. Snap.

• Purdue DE Ryan Kerrigan is not a Nagurski Award finalist and this upsets CBS Sports’s Dennis Dodd. Which isn’t nearly as bad as upsetting Ryan Kerrigan. You wouldn’t like Kerrigan when he’s angry.

• SI.com’s Stewart Mandel examines the coaches and ex-coaches that will be looked at for new jobs this offseason. Texas OC Greg Davis looks like the frontrunner for Calabasas High School‘s expected coordinator vacancy. Well, if he interviews well.

• SI’s JoePo likes JoePa. I’ve been waiting for so long to write that.

• Oklahoma has approximately 17 scholarship kickers and they don’t really like any of them. Oops.

*****

Today’s Video of the Day is a compilation of people introducing themselves. It’s better than my introduction implies.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEBIw0hHadk

Enjoy your Friday + College Football Saturday.

Today’s Chorus is brought to you by Nick Nolte, crazy person and former Arizona State student (and football player). It’s still yet to be decided if Nolte is the acting world’s Vontaze Burfict or Burfict is ASU’s Nolte. In any case, be careful around either of these two.

*****

• The FBI has quietly been involved with Auburn QB Cam Newton‘s pay-for-play case and interviewed John Bond, the former Mississippi State QB who was told of Newton’s MSU asking price of $180,000. ¡Federales!

• Arizona State coach Dennis Erickson was fined for criticizing officials over a call they made on LB Vontaze Burfict. As a coach, one clearly has to have his players’ back, but really, we’re defending The Walking Personal Foul here?

• Orangebloods’s Chip Brown has a Texas status update. As far as the coaches are concerned, it’s more “Greg Davis is Single” than “It’s Complicated.”

• Auburn DT Nick Fairley won’t be suspended for the Iron Bowl against Alabama next week. Excuse me while I go invest in whichever company sells the most MRI and CT Scan equipment to the southeastern states.

• Purdue WR Keith Smith is looking to be granted a sixth year of eligibility via a medical hardship waiver. He tore his ACL and MCL in Purdue’s second game of the season against Western Illinois. So, you know, at least the gam