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Part 1: “Those Guys Have All the Feeds”

Later this summer, a behind the scenes tome will be published covering the often sordid history of “The Solid Verbal,” the popular college football podcast and radio show hosted by us, Ty Hildenbrandt and Dan Rubenstein. Our choices were to either let somebody else profit from our story or to get in on the action ourselves. Since our goal from day one was to sell out to the highest (or most real) bidder, we figured we’d help out with the promotion, no matter how false and damaging the book may prove to be. Here are some early excerpts that we 100% do not authorize as being anywhere near fact:

 

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ANONYMOUS FORMER EDITOR

Ty and Dan like to tell the story about how they were both at SI.com and just started emailing to pat each other on the back as the story of how they met, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.

As I understand it, they had been corresponding for quite some time on a Veronica Mars message board and had even agreed to write some VM fan fiction before a much-anticipated phone conversation led to the revelation that they, in fact, both contributed content to Sports Illustrated for SI.com.

Their work-in-progress fan-fic manuscript that they had almost completed hasn’t seen the light of day, but we may be closer than we’ve ever been to getting a copy.

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ANONYMOUS BLOGGER IN FAVOR OF SATURDAYS

Ty and Dan are very guarded about their separate private lives, and with good reason — they’re not that separate. I thought it was just a joke at first, but numerous people have confirmed that, for the past two and a half years, Dan and Ty have actually been sharing a girlfriend. She’s a cute Filipina girl named Vivian that majored in Broadcast Journalism at Missouri and works as a producer for a local news station in Boise, Idaho.

The really sad part is that most people think Vivian is just using the two of them to get access to Chris Brown from SmartFootball.com. Ty and Dan have no idea.

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ANONYMOUS BCS CHAIRPERSON

The two of them like to reminisce about the time they spent in Tempe, AZ while they were in town for the BCS National Championship. If you listen to their show, you know they like bringing up a strip club called the “Dream Palace.” They supposedly found the outside of the club to be so disgusting that they didn’t even attempt to go in, even though it was just across the street.

Well, what you don’t know is that Dan and Ty decided to extend their stay in the Grand Canyon State, buy an ownership stake in the “Dream Palace” and try, given its proximity to Arizona State, to turn the gentleman’s club around.

For a short time after Auburn topped Oregon, the two of them actually recorded the show in the champagne room at the club, but predictably, the glitter and constant smell of baby oil and desperation became too much for both of them.

They sold their shares at a loss, and after Ty’s brief paternity scare with a dancer named Apricot (he was NOT THE FATHER!!!), the two made their way back to their respective coasts.

Good luck getting them to tell that story on-air.

Oh, and It turns out that the father is none other than … Tom Rinaldi.

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Come back often, as throughout the summer, more excerpts will almost assuredly be making their way to SolidVerbal.com.