Today’s Chorus is brought to you by NYU alumnus and brief Social Network actress Rooney Mara, one of the more eligible ladies anyone will come across. And by that I mean STRAIGHT. CASH. HOMEY.
• Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd remains suspended from the team (pending unknown Chip/Brian Kellyian hurdles), but will be allowed to enroll in school this fall. About right.
• Rivals is now considered to be a “scouting service” under new NCAA bylaws, meaning coaches and programs can no longer subscribe to the “service.” And in a quieter story, Bill Plaschke is no longer considered to be “credible columnist,” so it’s a violation for any fan to read his work Noted.
• Purdue K Carson WIggs nailed a 67 yard FG in the spring game. All 738 attendees got quite a show.
• CBS’s Dennis Dodd thinks LSU’s patience in Jordan Jefferson is fleeting. In tough times, though, it’s always important to think of the innocent, affected interceptions. They didn’t do anything wrong.
• And the Valley Shook has thoughts on LSU’s spring game. They’re feeling something weird in their pants when they watch the Tiger DBs. Acceptable.
• ESPN’s David Ubben visits Stillwater and gets a lot of Weeden.
• ESPN’s Ted Miller dapperly speaks to Stanford coach David Shaw.
• Illinois is trying to find a few great linebackers. Ok, pretty good. Ok, decent. Ok, willing.
• ESPN’s Edward Aschoff has Florida spring game notes. It’s even painful to read.
• ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg has Iowa notes. Vandenberg ahoy!
• Georgia OT Trinton Sturdivant tore an ACL for the THIRD TIME. Awful.
• Tim Tebow has a statue in front of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. It’s going to be weird for everyone when his furry sex dungeon is exposed. Perhaps I’ve said too much. Rawr.
• Fox Sports Florida profiles probable starting Florida State DE Bjorn Werner, a large powerful German dude. Advantage Noles.
• SI.com’s George Schroeder goes old school and profiles Arkansas QB Tyler Wilson. This has “Excuse to go to some BBQ place in Arkansas” written all over it.
• Purdue changed up their mascot, Purdue Pete, almost entirely because they’re incredibly lame.
• Colorado QB Tyler Hansen had a solid spring game for Colorado. In Buffalo-ese, this is otherworldly.
• Rivals takes an early look at 2011 scheduling. DO NOT READ THIS, COACHES!
• Oklahoma WR Justin McCay self-reported an injury. The Sonner spring game line is now off the board.
• “UCLA football player” is the new Spinal Tap drummer.
Today’s Video of the Day is an adjusted Miley Cyrus song with terrible lip reading (on purpose).
Enjoy your Monday.
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